My son fits the stereotype. He is nonspeaking, toe walks, hand flaps, spins, constantly in motion and he's a child. I present very differently from him and I think that's why it took me until I was 30 to get diagnosed. Wonderful topic! ❤
@@Shadow-zf5ucI am able to speak and have lower support needs. I mask and purposely give eye contact. My stims are more subtle like hair twirling, nail biting, bouncing my knee, etc.
When I was a child, I would toe walk (was operated on when I was 8 to correct it) and stim by violently flapping my hands and being engulfed in my stimming thoughts on recesses in school, now I only do it at home when no one is watching me because I've learned to mask everything. The paradox is that everyone expects me to behave as if I'm neurotypical, and then when I do, they think I'm not that autistic and so they expect me to perform as a neurotypical, and because I have obvious competences beyond what most people have, they (mostly family and friends) expect me to apply that and perform accordingly... Add to that my own desire to perform and a severe, somehow undiagnosed ADHD that drives me to take on burdens I can't handle without getting burned out... It's a recipe that has made me completely burned out six times by the age of 31, and still people don't understand that I'm severely neurodivergent...
@Guy Whose opinions will offend you I also have perfect pitch. I play the clarinet. I'm good at replicating and naming notes on my clarinet(which my other friends can't do), and I'm also good at knowing when a note is flat or sharp. I can play really well on my clarinet, but sometimes my fingers can't keep up.
My therapist told me I don't look autistic -- I am too empathetic. My emotions inside me are a fucking explosion waiting to get out on the wrong day. It's extremely hard to process these things. Some days I have to sit there in my bathroom crying and screaming with the door locked and the water on, because I cant handle them. I'm horrible at math, I have to count on my fingers. People in my family have never understood. None of my therapists have either. I just got diagnosed in March of 2021.
that comment about not "looking autistic" is so rude - especially from health providers. even my neuropsych after affirming me as autistic said my empathy is rather high for someone with ASD, there is still so much education to be had. i have shown more empathy towards every single doctor i've seen then they have for me. we are the ones doing the work. a lot of people just don't know or understand, i am choosing compassion for them.
@@wdlovesthee736 this is why im worried that I won't have a very good first time experience trying to get my diagnosis. Some people live in big cities and states and are "lucky" to have multiple sources they can try for their diagnosis. I live in Arkansas, in the states. Prejudice and stereotypes run as deep as you can possibly think. One of my closest friends said this when I told them I think I am autistic and I'm pursuing a diagnosis: "Well, to me atleast, you don't seem disabled or *r word*".
@@Wizard826 understand that completely, why you would be worried. your first experience may be quite difficult. i've had many doctors visits that were hurtful & unhelpful. they are behind on the actual research. you are a beautiful wizard, no matter what your closest friends or doctors think or believe. it may be time to educate your friend on how they can be more supportive of you & be a better friend. self diagnosis is valid. you know your experience more than anyone else. you've got support & love from the whole neurodiverse web, we are here.
@@wdlovesthee736 thank you so much for your kind words. I just know that this will be a thorny path for me to travel on for this diagnosis. The only 2 family members that will support me are my grandmother (who is now deceased) and my aunt. My father refused to have me tested when I was very young because he "didn't believe in that nonsense". I have yet to inform him. My grandmother passing has not only been hard on me emotionally and practically, but she knew much more about my childhood and what I was like than I can remember. I've been gathering up traits and putting them in a note section to present to my pcp.
This was very interesting. I have felt for many years that my now 12 year old granddaughter had decidedly autistic traits. She stims a lot, mostly 'playing' with her hair but also exhibits hand flapping when stressed, she is incredibly invested and passionate about VERY specific activities, ( anime drawing and the performing arts ) often to the exclusion of everything else. These two interests is all she will talk about spontaneously, though when other subjects arise in conversation, she can contribute, even voluntarily, but only if the subject is directly related to her interests, current situation or needs. She takes everything said completely literally, constantly splitting hairs on what exactly is being said.(eg she recently got highly agitated when waiting for a postal delivery because I used the word parcel instead of padded envelope to describe the package....she wouldn't accept 'package' as an alternative word either.) This actually creates problems for her when people question her generally about something, her opinions, her hopes, her wishes etc. She almost always finds it extremely difficult to answer, other than in single words, because ' she's not sure what they are actually asking her, she doesn't really understand what they want her to say', yet two, three hours later, she can talk spontaneously about all of them, often with considerable insight. She becomes noticeably anxious at even small unexpected changes to her daily routine , and confined public places, especially if they are crowded. She never speaks up in class, but is pretty intelligent.....an 'A ' student outside of the maths. She sucks at that. Yet she has good eye contact (though not with strangers), is very empathetic, an expert problem solver, a really good performer on stage, kind and both thoughtful of and helping towards others. She has no problems making friends, nor keeping them. She appears to be a very popular student. BUT, she is almost invariably frustrated by the end of a day, because , it seems to me, she is constantly working hard to 'fit in '. She lets it all out on her mum later. When she was younger there were ALWAYS meltdowns and tears immediately she came out of school. She also would rather be alone in the playground than play what she called 'silly games' with the other kids. Now she waits until she's home, and is slowly gaining insight into why she feels that way. Her mum has not had her tested because my granddaughter, herself, while she is aware of her problems, still does not feel that any of them are impacting particularly badly on her life, and so she (her mum) does not feel that a label will currently help her deal with them, rather she might us it as an excuse to not even bother trying to deal with any kind of problem. Things may well change though, as she goes through puberty, and meets more challenging problems, and she may need expert advice then. So for now, it's wait and see.
Great video! I just got my autism diagnosis today and after the session I mentioned to the psychologist I was worried I wouldn't get the diagnosis because I don't fit many of the stereotypes for autistic people. The psychologist assured me regardless of the stereotypes out there that I was definitely autistic and he was very understanding about my concerns.
My special interest is reading, imagine that. A little kid who "reads everything with letters" is a completely socially acceptable, and even praise-worthy. Don't mind said little kid annyoing everyone with random facts from various encyclopedias because we ran out of fairytale books 😅
Another great video, thanks. As someone with ADHD, may I recommend that when you're talking about a list, you write each list item on the screen while you're talking about them?
Watching your videos really helps me understand myself!! Delayed emotions is definitely something I have always given myself a hard time over! In January, we had neighbours over for tea and I served some cheese and crackers that we received as a gift. One of those cheeses was a strong provolone. The neighbour tried it, looked at me and actually said in quite a quiet and disappointed voice: “I find this offensive. Smells like a rat infestation.” I didn’t know what to say and at the time felt absolutely nothing at all. A few days later, I felt such rage almost to the point of tears at the horrible and disrespectful way he basically said “This cheese isn’t for me”. In fact, months later and I still haven’t let it go. We haven’t had them over since and I know they’re kind of hurt and confused as to why I’ve become so cold. My husband tries over and over explaining to me why holding onto the rage isn’t good and the neighbour isn’t a monster, but as you’ve said, I cannot empathise with neurotypicals.
i dislike the sterotypes but i fit some of them, however i only recently found out i had autism and i have lived my entire life just accepting that i was a "jerk" an "asshole" and a "loser" i know many people who do not have a diagnosis and refuse to get one and i am confused by this, it was a huge relief for me to know WHY everyone hated me my entire life why everyone abandoned me constantly , why every single human being who was supposed to love me or care for me left me or sent me away, finally knowing that it wasnt my fault really, it doesnt change much else but that though, my existence drains everyone around me who is forced to deal with me. i wish i new how to be happy but i dont think i do, i only feel negative emotions, with some bursts of happiness randomly mixed in but it dissipates quickly, how does one feel happy when they fully understand they need so much help it bothers the people around them so much that they eventually explode on you and say the most horrible things, and they are not bad people, i once made a teacher so upset when i was 8 she hit me in the head, she wasnt evil or terrible after she did it i'll never forget the look on her face, it was as if she had died and i understood even as an 8 year old that this was my fault that something i did made a normal person lash out when they would never do such a thing. it was profound because at that moment i understood how different i was and i understood how my existence affected (effected? i hate english honestly) other people who were not like me. but worst of all was i didnt know how to change it or fix it, i would try and i would make progress but i would eventually get more and more stressed out trying to behave like a normal person and then i would have an "episode" and be back at square one. (i never told anyone my teacher hit me, she shouldnt have obviously, but that is the common reaction my existence has on regular human beings over a long period of time, somehow i just understood it was her fault and i didnt want to cause her any more stress)
Hi PE! - I was diagnosed about 4 years ago (ASD age 59) and ADHD/Dyslexic when I was about 11. Since the ASD diagnosis I've struggled accepting the diagnosis because my traits are so different than other late diagnosed adults I've met. I was also in denial/avoidance I had any "problems" for 59 years so have a lifetime of dysfunctional coping skills to "unlearn". It is not easy taking down all the walls we've built and letting our true nature free. Autistic people can benefit so much, around other autistic people. Our differences become similarities when we are with others that share a similar neurological foundation. Thank you for what you share with us all.
I just subscribed! I think I got here through Facebook. Anyway, I only found out I was on the spectrum at 60 years old and it certainly answered a lot about my lifelong struggles. Keep up the good work you're doing. I'll be following you. Prayers and blessings!🙏❤
What I find most valuable about this video is that you are verbalising things that I find difficult to explain or express. By listening to you, and reading through the comments, I can see I'm not the only one with these challenges or traits, which helps me feel normal again, if that makes sense. My passion was initially personal development but this came from a desire to understand how other people work so that I could fit in and be a success. I was trying to fix myself and not be who I am. When my life to that point ultimately failed, I focused on my passion for the metaphysical, healing from trauma and self-love. I am 52 at the end of the week, and have only recognised my autism (and the extent of it) in November last year. What I've learned in the past week is that my autism is invisible to everyone else, but due to my ability to mask and cope in the moment, it is also invisible to me until after I've breached my own limitations. It's time for me to accept where my limits lie and draw a new line in the sand. Hearing you talk about your own challenges helps me to know that's okay. Thank you.
I am highly empathetic and especially towards animals. But the same people who recognise just how caring and empathetic I am call me all sorts of things like cold/calculating/the b word in certain situations like in arguments because I break everything down into systems and approach it very efficiently. But the way I approach problems comes from my intent to be caring (figuring things out the best way possible to save everyone heartache
Great video, I think myself having ADHD and Autism makes me differ from someone with just autism. For example my extreme interests are capped by the hyper mind and inability to focus for long periods. If I didn’t have ADHD there’s certain subjects I’d be a genius at. Also maths is a particular issue as it requires a level of concentration I couldn’t ever achieve.
Oh Ella I love you. "Autistic people are all humans and humans are all different from each other." In this day and age, you would think everyone would get this by now. Great video again, will be sharing with friends and family
I am on the spectrum. All the autistic people (diagnosed or not) seem to me to be *more* empathetic than neurotypical. Yes, delayed reactions, and also how to show «appropriate» emotions, and shutting down and more confuses this fact. I have also read that autistics are far more likely to be upset about unjustice. Great video!
My challenge is when my husband or my manager and co workers think I am mad or miserable, when I am actually content with my job. I have learned to smile a lot so people won't think I am upset
It's funny because I just realized that my manager is walking on eggshells around me even though the angriest I've been is mildly annoyed by something and I specifically indicated that I knew it wasn't her fault. And this has probably been going on for at least 6 months.
Got diagnosed at 3 years old I'm female too which is rare diagnonsis sometimes it's so frustrating when someone thinks my disabillity is not valid because I dont "seem" autistic and see my case as mild when infact i really struggle even though I'm able to work.
Yes me too, I struggled getting reffered as My GP assumed because i was working and passed school i couldnt be autistic.... It feels like a curse, being "functional", as people dont take my issues seriously
This video cheered me up. It's so true what you say about these universally hyped false attempts in society by neurotypicals to misrepresent autistic people. I have the Asperger-related trait called 'Obsessional Paranoia'. The consultant psychiatrist noted the intensity of my long-term obsession with my role model since childhood as very intense which made my life difficult. Now my interest has moved to intense research on things I am passionate about which keeps me shut out from the world.
I sometimes think that, with emotions and loss, it can be a mix of not have control of that particular “volume control” and so either full on or full off, coupled with not really being able to quite understand the role someone played in your life, particularly a parent!
Thank you, delayed emotions and delayed understanding... most of the others also check... Most of my emotional masking are around people both expecting a different emotional response than my natural one and invalidating my emotional experience when I try to explain it either in explaining what I should have felt, or that the intensity are wrong. Or well this person has it worse so you know you shouldn't feel because it could always be even worse...
I love computes/tech and the video game Warframe. I call myself Autistic Tenno because I love the game Warframe. Tenno is the human character we play in the game. I chose my name to pay tribute to my current favorite game. I am open about my autism because I can show people there are many different kinds of autistic people. My math skill is strange. I’m not good at getting the answer right but I can do the step procedures right. I’m also Asian so I get hit with the stereotype of being good at math. I like how someone who is autistic that doesn’t talk was given a computer or something and was able to communicate their thoughts. It shows to neurotypical people that autistic people who don’t talk have thoughts to. I hate masking but it’s sometime that’s become kind of second nature to me so I can survive in a neurotypical world. I’m guessing that’s why I get hit with comments saying that I don’t seem autistic or they never would have guessed I was. It hurts. I hate it. I also hate it when people say I should take those comments as a compliment. Masking is exhausting and probable does me harm for me it’s what I have to do to survive in real life. Blah. Sorry for the vomit of information. I liked your video and wanted to share stuff with you. There is a lot of stuff I can relate to. Thank you for sharing.
The first time a therapist tried to point out I might be on the spectrum I rejected what she said because I compared myself with the stereotypes of Autism I'd seen on media at the time
My special interest has changed over the years. It started as thomas the tank, then dinosaurs/jurassic park, then the lord of the rings, then i started masking and guitars became my special interest as they helped me fit in a little more, then last year i embraced my true interest in the lord of the rings again (i masked my interest in the lord of the rings when i started becoming interested in girls as a teenager)
I can relate to so many things you said to describe yourself that I wish we were friends in real life. Except that I would never text you or ask you out because I've always struggled to keep friends. Anyway, great video!
Have stereotypes happened bc it's NT's deciding what is ASC rather than- now revolutionary idea- letting ASC folx be their own expert. Great video, especially the part regarding emotions. Thank you
The only stereotypes I fit are that I'm good at math and I have been identified through tests to be intellectually gifted. I think the only person to believe my autism is my therapist because she was the only one to be able to identify it, probably because I was at the point that I was unable to completely mask anymore.
I heard something the other day about Autistic emotions saying, it's not that we don't feel emotions, it's that we react honestly. I think a lot of NTs react the way their expected to react, whilst with some of us Autistic people, you get the genuine reaction. Although I do sometimes mask but trying not to mask as much now.
Thank you for this video, I really identified especially with the last part regarding emotion processing. I m questioning myself a lot about either I am on the spectrum or not and your videos are helping a lot with my feeling of always being an imposter and trying to find "excuses" to my issues.
I am so glad that you are doing these videos. I recently got an ASD/ADHD diagnosis and listening to you talk and explain about "all the things" is incredibly helpful.
This happened to my character. He had all these stereotypes of how love should feel in his mind and when his feelings didn't feet them he felt guilty for not returning his boyfriend's feelings. Also many characters thought of him as emotionless but it turns out he was actually an empath. When I was working on the plot I didn't think I was experiencing alexithymia but his character made me learn so much about myself. I even sometimes try his prefered stim to control my own skin picking stims.
I haven't been diagnosed (yet). But since age 5 my interest was nutrition. I used to "force" my mom to buy me certain fruits and vegetables to ensure I was getting certain nutrients I wanted to improve specific organ function.
Okay firstly: I love your videos. You have such a great way of explaining things. Also: I actually really love math and science, I always have since I was in grade school. I realized later on though that I'm not bad at it, it's just that no one taught it to me in a way that I could understand. I think that's probably a good way of thinking of most abilities as an autistic person. We're probably really good at a lot more than we realize, it's just that no one took the time to explain it differently or accommodate us.
Thank you! I was aware that all those were myths, but what I found most interesting was your descriptions of what you are like instead. Those were almost all the same as my own experiences with myself. Your videos have helped me finish connecting various pieces of my own puzzle...in this case, empathy. I knew I was capable of feeling empathy, but only recently realized that the reason communication with others often goes poorly is that I assume that what I feel (or don't) about a given situation is what others are feeling, and it generally isn't. This is why the responses I get confuse and frustrate me. I think it's also one reason I did not pick up on my own neurodivergences for a long time...I just assumed that what I did or felt must be what others do too. Having two parents with the same traits probably added to this (one of your videos, with your sister, helped me figure that out too).
I have liked your video at the first sentence!! This is so absolutely true! Such a brilliant topic! You always inspire me to get a diagnosis, please say fashion as one of the extreme interests, oh gosh you just did. You are amazing!
I can't lie, but that's only because my dad lectured me when I told a white lie to my mom because I didn't want to ruin her surprise that we were getting. Since then I've had this rule that lying is never acceptable. Instead I just won't say any thing. I also don't behave different from everyone else. When my brother died years ago, I don't think I cried at all. Mostly I was helping his daughters (who were around 8 or 9) to deal with their grief. Over the next few days they would come in and watch shows with me. I gave them a place they could relax and do whatever they needed to do as they grieved for their dad. When my mom died at the begging of 2021, I again didn't cry. & sot of went numb. At the same time I let my nieces cling to me as they cried. I knew I probably had covid and covid problem killed my mom. But I was not going to push my nieces away from the comfort they needed just because I might give them covid. I wound up being admitted to the hospital for about a week and brought home an oxygen tank because I wasn't getting enough oxygen on my own. At one point I shocked my dad when I needed my own hug.
@@PurpleElla I agree. I could lie before that incident. But my mind took my dad's lecture as if I had done the wrong thing in that situation and I needed to make sure I acted like everyone else. Hence the rule I made. It's very hard for me to go against these rules. For example, another rule tells me if someone talk to me, it's only polite to say something back. It's the only reason I have online friends. A Streamer acknowledged what I had written, so I had to respond back. I didn't mean autistic people couldn't lie (my nephew figured out how lie to me) , just events in my life had conspired to make me incapable of lying.
Ooh I've not heard anyone mention the not being upset immediately when someone dies thing. My grandad died last year and I couldn't figure out why I was broken!! My other grandad died years earlier and I was upset, but I think because everyone around me was upset and all of my family got together. Whereas we couldn't do that in covid. It feels like I'm only sad for other people for how they must be feeling and I'd confused that as my own sadness my whole life. Maybe that part of me has actually always been broken.
Love it! One of my special interests is psychology/neuroscience so I can often identify and explain why people behave a certain way. That made me really doubt my autism but now I accept it.
Would be interesting if you are actually bad at maths or if it were just the teachers and/or learning material that were bad. I nearly failed math one year, but the next year I was among the best three of 2 classes. I loved this teacher and he did nothing else the whole year but telling us what examples we should work through and answering questions when we got stuck.
I'm mostly good at math with a few exceptions. When I was in high school, I ran into my math teacher from the year before. I told him I was switching to his class. He responded with a "We know what grade you'll be getting". He said this because the previous year I had gotten 100% on the final. As I said I'm normally good at math and can help my classmates understand it too. While I'm good with math , I do have some glaring holes in my math abilities. I think math I struggle with are all math you will do as an adult. I'm not the best with fractions and percentages. I always use an app to figure out how much tip I should. I'm also really bad at loans and interest. I know the basics, but anytime someone tries to explain it in detail, my mind goes "Nope. Not going to remember this. It's confusing me."
Ok, now this one! Not being a Savant is why I masked my “issues” almost until it killed me for many, many years. I tried to keep it hidden (yeah, that worked…) because I took things people said literally and came to believe one couldn’t be autistic without being a savant! Or, at least that one could be non verbal autistic with comorbid brain damage (my brothers diagnosis) or one could be an Asperger’s Savant…
My cousin who I suspect is also on the spectrum told me I talk too much to be autistic. Later he told me I am shy instead of autistic. I guess he can't make up his mind but knows deep inside.
All autistic people are different. Lets take me for example, I get humor, sarcasm, kind of good social cognition, I can read body language, keep eye contact. I can sense days when im more intuned with other peoples emotions and days when im not, then ill mask because I feel disconnected in myself and in others. I usually tell my close ones when im having a bad day. Process disorder. Fradgile nervous system. Thats about it. A guy in my school was also autistic, he told me he had to learn how to laugh, dident understand ironi nor sarcasm. He took evetything litteral and was good at math. Also met a girl with autism, she often cried out of the blue, i always wondered why she behaved like that, now later when I myself got diagnosed i read about alexithymia which means no words for emotion. She had trouble knowing what she was feeling, i noticed she masked alot, perhaps masking is due to emotional disconnection
1. Yeah I've never been all that interested in trains either, but I do have a lot of other special interests. 2. I also go against the stereotype there as math was actually my worst subject in school and I've failed some math classes too. 3. Yeah I agree with you about the empathy thing I don't think it's a matter of not having empathy it's a matter of neurotypical and non-neurotypical people not being able to understand each other. 4. I've become a good musician/singer but I wouldn't really attribute it to any sort of "savant syndrome" sort of thing since it took years of training to get as good as I am. 5. Yeah I never really understood the "don't have emotions" myth but I think that makes sense that it originated from people not being able to identify it.
Haha, my superpower is forgetting, give me 10 years, and I forget who was the main killer in the crime book, and forget all the details within a few years. I also wanted to say how good you've became as a presenter in the video. Before I used to only listen and fidget with something while I'm doing so, but now it's a pleasure to watch as well.
I am intellectually gifted with a talent for math. I am pursuing math grad school. Before encountering math, I was somewhat talented at writing and art. But I was extremely stressed out by the culture where all judgement is based on the subjective feelings and opinion of whoever is in power. It was mostly social games instead of liters try merit. So I quit, and switched over to science. I have never been happier!! I discovered I am autistic, and now I’m surrounded by other autistics day in and day out. I fit the stereotype like a glove, but it works for me perfectly, and I am so grateful.
Wow I had an obsession with trains when I was a kid. And then I moved onto castles. I recently realised that I have adhd but now I'm also beginning to realise I have some autism in there too.
The Autism stereotypes I meet is fixation on fictiois things..I fixate on collecting a type of animated toys..it used to be those pop dolls know I fixate on these gothic creepture figures..my house is covered with them also I have the creativity thing
Im 64 and on the low end of the spectrum. I lack some social skills and I definitely speak at the wrong time. My routine is important to me and I have no friends.
I admittedly fall under the trains stereotype, but other than that, none of the other stereotypes you mentioned in this video apply to me personally. Definitely not a maths genius (got a B on my GCSE back in 2014 and didn't have any interest in pursuing maths any further), not a savant (not especially good at anything in a superhuman way) and definitely feel emotions, albeit in a different way that can sometimes overwhelm me.
I also don't fit a lot of autism stereotypes, I've only just now been referred for my formal diagnosis at age 40. My doctor was incredibly reluctant to refer me, asking why? What 'difficulties' was I having? The impact on my mental health has been profound but I'm only just unpicking why.
I have also difficulties expressing joy or gratitude. Sure I am happy, glad, thankful whatsoever, but do I have to jump or scream or make a 500 words speech?
Thank you for this video. I remember when I was diagnosed, I was confused. To me, there were two kinds of autism, Sheldon Cooper and Rain Man, and I fit neither. I'm decent but not genius level at maths, my big interest is lakes (I have always loved lakes), and I am the opposite of the non-empathy stereotype as I have so much empathy I even feel sad when inanimate objects are hurt and I can't enjoy a lot of comedies because I feel sad for the person we're expected to laugh at (unless it's so over the top that I can't really immerse myself in it and just distance myself from it). Another autistic stereotype that I don't fit, gender specific, is that autistic girls mask and are introverted. I'm extroverted and have never been good at "fitting in". Two words I would hear a lot from my peers is "nobody cares" when I would start talking about something I was currently fascinated with. Unless I happened to have interest in something mainstream at the time, then I'd be much more tolerated. My speech has always been a little "different", I've been compared to a text to speech program before. I also don't fit the nonverbal stereotype at all, as I am extremely verbose. In fact, I talk so much that I don't pause to swallow my saliva until I'm foaming at the mouth and talking like I have a hot potato in my mouth. It's a bad habit, I know, but I just want to keep talking! I have so many words to say! As you can tell from my comment, I do indeed use a lot of words. And I am the worst at flirting. Whenever I have a crush on a man, I "flirt" by turning my normal personality up to full power, and I don't mean to, it just happens. I always want to cry when someone who was initially interested in me no longer is after just a few minutes. I think it's that I like something and I want to share that joy with someone else so they can experience the same kind of joy that I did, and I'm terrible at doing that.
Rainman' was NEVER autistic - why do even autistic folk keep saying this? And I've heard more from autistic folk than NTs. He was Fragile X Syndrome; he simply became a cypher in America for low function/high needs autism. Just cos it says it on the box, doesn't mean the contents are as described
@@TheGenbox2 I didn't know that, I knew Sheldon Cooper was never officially said to be on the spectrum (although Jim Parsons said Sheldon is), but I didn't know that about Rain Man. I apologize for perpetuating misinformation, that was not my intent. However, I do think it's accurate to say that the common perception is that Rain Man and Sheldon Cooper are go-to examples for the average person of people with autism, even if it's not accurate? Actually, the Rain Man comparison is common outside of America as well. I grew up in Ireland and was compared to Rain Man a few times when I was really young and Sheldon Cooper when I was older (I'm 22, so I'm still really young, I suppose)
Literally the only reason that I'm good at math is because of autism. But, only because it was my special interest for many years and I was hanging out on college campus doing a ton of work with it.
I see stitch in the background!! 😁. My cute little big-eyed boy is autistic... His interests are constantly changing. My daughter who seems neurotypical (but probably isn't because no one in our family is lol) is the one who loves choo choo trains 🚂
Arithmetic is not mathematics, you can be horrible with arithmetic and still be a savant with mathematics... the two are not really connected in any way at all.
Spirituality is where we hold our power , I'm fully awake I'm aware I'm having an experience as a human I know I am a soul... Stereotype people anyone is wrong we are all different we need to be ourselves and not how society has led us to believe.... Gender.. age.. hight... We are not our minds..... We are consciousness, be free be still be you and not what everyone else thinks
I think stereotypes are why I never even considered my self autistic until it was pointed out and got diagnosed, for example I had thoughts like oh I can't be autistic I don't have those super powers or I'm not good at maths
I think the interest itself could be autistic. For example a little girl becoming fascinated with canals or sidewalk cracks. Or phone number exchanges. Being fascinated with a Barbie doll is normal; that's what the doll is for: to enthrall a little girl. It's a pretty, miniature lady, and it makes sense for a child to love her Barbie. But...canals? Airplane runways? Sidewalk cracks? Phone number exchanges? Those are all odd; indicative of autism! I have a formal diagnosis of ASD by the way.
Well, I do enjoy train stuff but I failed calculus 3 times in a row! And algebra was quite a struggle. Geometry turned out to be both relatable and enjoyable.
The is a form of empathic mathemtics that deals with alignment and shapes and folding and so on - called topology. It is the highest form of maths - expressed most beautifully by Roger Penrose with his Penrose Tiles - he needed extra time in maths exams because he thought in shapes. Modern maths education does not suit us. The last part about having struggles with the mask personality - oh man that is hard. I'm just starting. Thanks for the video. I thought I was going mad.
What’s interesting is that I fit a lot of stereotypes but don’t fit other ones! I actually am an autistic savant; when I was tested they found my IQ was in the 140s and I do have special talents. I’m extremely good at math, I even taught myself calculus at 13 years old without even knowing that the “number games” I was playing were calculus! I’m also very good at music. I’ve won national awards and have had a professional career in music since I was 15/16. That being said, I’m also a genderqueer bisexual Latine who can sometimes mask. Generally, autistic savants aren’t portrayed as anything but cishet white men. Also, I’m an adult… it turns out that autism doesn’t only appear in children!
I told someone i have autism (diagnosed by a psychologist) and they told me that i probably was wrong because his son has autism and he lived with someone with autism for 10 years so he knows what autism is so i must have a very rare sort of autism then like kinda like he was mocking me
I can't be autistic because I don't look like it and my school grades were too good. As we all know autistic aren't very clever people.. I've been treated like I didn't know how to read or understand normal speech when had to use Finland's not so great health care services, which I do try to avoid. My emotions are clearly stronger than average (heard about this all my life). And because I feel other people's feelings (which I guess is part of my synesthesia or one feature which Tony Atwood's talked about. Don't know if these are actually the same phenomenon.) And I don't like trains at all. I'm misdiagnosed for sure. Think about it. I love to tell sarcastic jokes but if I'm really autistic, I shouldn't be able to understand sarcasm nor know how to tell jokes.. far too social.. and I'm terrible at math as well.
The sarcasm is an interesting point. I can BE sarcastic, because I know my own intention, but frequently have issues with sarcasm from others. Especially people I don't know.
Trains and dinosaurs. LOL I love them both. My interests can range very widely but when I'm into something I definitely delve in deeply. It can take away from more important things. Oops. My child (also autistic) could care less about trains and dinosaurs for the most part. It also bothers me that people don't understand SPD much, even when in the field of special education or similar. SPD can be a part of ASD or independent. I've too often heard people lumped into "sensory seekers" or "sensory avoiders" . But again it seems to be more about the compulsive and intense feelings and sensations whether rejecting or seeking. Yes it can lean one way or the other but everyone I have met has a range. My child has severe ASD but actually copes with sensory processing very well. I have less severe ASD but my SPD is one of the main criteria of my dx. But I have very strong reactions to audio; if I like a song/sound I can listen to it repeatedly beyond what most people will tolerate. BUT if I don't like a sound I can quickly feel very disturbed, unable to think about anything else, and even physical symptoms such as nausea and strong frustration and exhaustion. I mostly seek tactile experiences but there are some that I CANNOT tolerate like a normal adult. As a child I actually used to cry and be off-put form my hands being dirty.
I failed my GCSEs too but i passed RE with a C. A lot of autistic people get called gifted but for me I was an underachiever and I was in the bottom set for maths and nearly the bottom set for English.
Regarding math(s)-I don't think I believe even that there is a clear distinction between "systematic" and "empathetic" approaches, or that, if so, one would be necessarily associated with ability in math(s).
Very interesting, I am also terrible with maths and often wonder if I have Dyscalcular as I have been diagnosed with dyslexia. I was wondering if you have discussed how childhood trauma/trauma in general can be experienced when someone has Autism and ADHD?
I find the most ableist people are usually the ones who not only stereotype all autistic people as savants, but also completely misunderstand what being a savant is. In a recent interview, for example, Joe Mantegna referred to his “As We See It” co-star, Rick Glassman, as a savant merely because he was good at standup comedy. Alison Singer of the Autism Science Foundation (and the infamous Autism Speaks video) has referred to skilled autistic people as being on the “savant end of the spectrum.” I find this especially offensive, because they’re conflating competence with extraordinary ability. They’re also suggesting that being incompetent is the default autistic state and that we must be something special if we’re good at anything. Quite frankly, I feel statements like these are often a deliberate attempt at infantilization and disrespect (especially in Singer’s case).
also i am not sure if it's an autistic trait to constantly be obsessed with something but then lose interest after a period of time only to become interesting in something completely different, but eventually become "re-interested" in the thing you were interested in before you stoped being interested in it (basically i cannot seem to ever finish anything) part of me thinks this is why i am intelligent though, as a child i would find something that interested me and i would NEED to know everything i possibly could about that interest, but then i would find something else, and then something else and by the time i was 10 years old i was reading college level books on science and history and physics (i am not good at math in any way, but i like physics stuff)
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My son fits the stereotype. He is nonspeaking, toe walks, hand flaps, spins, constantly in motion and he's a child. I present very differently from him and I think that's why it took me until I was 30 to get diagnosed. Wonderful topic! ❤
Oh my I was a toe walker and ran that way.
How did you present?
@@Shadow-zf5ucI am able to speak and have lower support needs. I mask and purposely give eye contact. My stims are more subtle like hair twirling, nail biting, bouncing my knee, etc.
@@whitneymason406 I'm very similar.
When I was a child, I would toe walk (was operated on when I was 8 to correct it) and stim by violently flapping my hands and being engulfed in my stimming thoughts on recesses in school, now I only do it at home when no one is watching me because I've learned to mask everything.
The paradox is that everyone expects me to behave as if I'm neurotypical, and then when I do, they think I'm not that autistic and so they expect me to perform as a neurotypical, and because I have obvious competences beyond what most people have, they (mostly family and friends) expect me to apply that and perform accordingly... Add to that my own desire to perform and a severe, somehow undiagnosed ADHD that drives me to take on burdens I can't handle without getting burned out... It's a recipe that has made me completely burned out six times by the age of 31, and still people don't understand that I'm severely neurodivergent...
you might not have "super" powers, but you do have at least one good "regular" power: explaining concepts in way that's approachable and easy! thanks🌈
yessssss! i think it is a super power!
Aw thanks, do I get a cape for that? 😂
@Guy Whose opinions will offend you I also have perfect pitch. I play the clarinet. I'm good at replicating and naming notes on my clarinet(which my other friends can't do), and I'm also good at knowing when a note is flat or sharp. I can play really well on my clarinet, but sometimes my fingers can't keep up.
My therapist told me I don't look autistic -- I am too empathetic. My emotions inside me are a fucking explosion waiting to get out on the wrong day. It's extremely hard to process these things. Some days I have to sit there in my bathroom crying and screaming with the door locked and the water on, because I cant handle them. I'm horrible at math, I have to count on my fingers. People in my family have never understood. None of my therapists have either. I just got diagnosed in March of 2021.
that comment about not "looking autistic" is so rude - especially from health providers. even my neuropsych after affirming me as autistic said my empathy is rather high for someone with ASD, there is still so much education to be had. i have shown more empathy towards every single doctor i've seen then they have for me. we are the ones doing the work. a lot of people just don't know or understand, i am choosing compassion for them.
@@wdlovesthee736 thank you
@@wdlovesthee736 this is why im worried that I won't have a very good first time experience trying to get my diagnosis. Some people live in big cities and states and are "lucky" to have multiple sources they can try for their diagnosis. I live in Arkansas, in the states. Prejudice and stereotypes run as deep as you can possibly think. One of my closest friends said this when I told them I think I am autistic and I'm pursuing a diagnosis: "Well, to me atleast, you don't seem disabled or *r word*".
@@Wizard826 understand that completely, why you would be worried. your first experience may be quite difficult. i've had many doctors visits that were hurtful & unhelpful. they are behind on the actual research.
you are a beautiful wizard, no matter what your closest friends or doctors think or believe. it may be time to educate your friend on how they can be more supportive of you & be a better friend. self diagnosis is valid. you know your experience more than anyone else. you've got support & love from the whole neurodiverse web, we are here.
@@wdlovesthee736 thank you so much for your kind words. I just know that this will be a thorny path for me to travel on for this diagnosis. The only 2 family members that will support me are my grandmother (who is now deceased) and my aunt. My father refused to have me tested when I was very young because he "didn't believe in that nonsense". I have yet to inform him. My grandmother passing has not only been hard on me emotionally and practically, but she knew much more about my childhood and what I was like than I can remember. I've been gathering up traits and putting them in a note section to present to my pcp.
This was very interesting.
I have felt for many years that my now 12 year old granddaughter had decidedly autistic traits. She stims a lot, mostly 'playing' with her hair but also exhibits hand flapping when stressed, she is incredibly invested and passionate about VERY specific activities, ( anime drawing and the performing arts ) often to the exclusion of everything else. These two interests is all she will talk about spontaneously, though when other subjects arise in conversation, she can contribute, even voluntarily, but only if the subject is directly related to her interests, current situation or needs. She takes everything said completely literally, constantly splitting hairs on what exactly is being said.(eg she recently got highly agitated when waiting for a postal delivery because I used the word parcel instead of padded envelope to describe the package....she wouldn't accept 'package' as an alternative word either.) This actually creates problems for her when people question her generally about something, her opinions, her hopes, her wishes etc. She almost always finds it extremely difficult to answer, other than in single words, because ' she's not sure what they are actually asking her, she doesn't really understand what they want her to say', yet two, three hours later, she can talk spontaneously about all of them, often with considerable insight. She becomes noticeably anxious at even small unexpected changes to her daily routine , and confined public places, especially if they are crowded. She never speaks up in class, but is pretty intelligent.....an 'A ' student outside of the maths. She sucks at that.
Yet she has good eye contact (though not with strangers), is very empathetic, an expert problem solver, a really good performer on stage, kind and both thoughtful of and helping towards others. She has no problems making friends, nor keeping them. She appears to be a very popular student. BUT, she is almost invariably frustrated by the end of a day, because , it seems to me, she is constantly working hard to 'fit in '. She lets it all out on her mum later. When she was younger there were ALWAYS meltdowns and tears immediately she came out of school. She also would rather be alone in the playground than play what she called 'silly games' with the other kids. Now she waits until she's home, and is slowly gaining insight into why she feels that way. Her mum has not had her tested because my granddaughter, herself, while she is aware of her problems, still does not feel that any of them are impacting particularly badly on her life, and so she (her mum) does not feel that a label will currently help her deal with them, rather she might us it as an excuse to not even bother trying to deal with any kind of problem. Things may well change though, as she goes through puberty, and meets more challenging problems, and she may need expert advice then. So for now, it's wait and see.
Great video! I just got my autism diagnosis today and after the session I mentioned to the psychologist I was worried I wouldn't get the diagnosis because I don't fit many of the stereotypes for autistic people. The psychologist assured me regardless of the stereotypes out there that I was definitely autistic and he was very understanding about my concerns.
@Marissa Miller Happy diagnosis day to you too!
Congrats on getting the diagnosis
@@PurpleElla Thanks Ella!
Very helpful in helping me deal with the imposter syndrome (despite official diagnosis). Thank you!
It's weird right? Like a professional definitely told me I am autistic but I just feel like a fraud, like I'm not really an Autist...
@@Mountain-Man-3000 Got the Dx this week. Waiting on the report to explain my particular 'flavour' - perhaps that will help. 🤔
My special interest is reading, imagine that. A little kid who "reads everything with letters" is a completely socially acceptable, and even praise-worthy. Don't mind said little kid annyoing everyone with random facts from various encyclopedias because we ran out of fairytale books 😅
Another great video, thanks.
As someone with ADHD, may I recommend that when you're talking about a list, you write each list item on the screen while you're talking about them?
Watching your videos really helps me understand myself!! Delayed emotions is definitely something I have always given myself a hard time over! In January, we had neighbours over for tea and I served some cheese and crackers that we received as a gift. One of those cheeses was a strong provolone. The neighbour tried it, looked at me and actually said in quite a quiet and disappointed voice: “I find this offensive. Smells like a rat infestation.” I didn’t know what to say and at the time felt absolutely nothing at all. A few days later, I felt such rage almost to the point of tears at the horrible and disrespectful way he basically said “This cheese isn’t for me”. In fact, months later and I still haven’t let it go. We haven’t had them over since and I know they’re kind of hurt and confused as to why I’ve become so cold. My husband tries over and over explaining to me why holding onto the rage isn’t good and the neighbour isn’t a monster, but as you’ve said, I cannot empathise with neurotypicals.
i dislike the sterotypes but i fit some of them, however i only recently found out i had autism and i have lived my entire life just accepting that i was a "jerk" an "asshole" and a "loser" i know many people who do not have a diagnosis and refuse to get one and i am confused by this, it was a huge relief for me to know WHY everyone hated me my entire life why everyone abandoned me constantly , why every single human being who was supposed to love me or care for me left me or sent me away, finally knowing that it wasnt my fault really, it doesnt change much else but that though, my existence drains everyone around me who is forced to deal with me. i wish i new how to be happy but i dont think i do, i only feel negative emotions, with some bursts of happiness randomly mixed in but it dissipates quickly, how does one feel happy when they fully understand they need so much help it bothers the people around them so much that they eventually explode on you and say the most horrible things, and they are not bad people, i once made a teacher so upset when i was 8 she hit me in the head, she wasnt evil or terrible after she did it i'll never forget the look on her face, it was as if she had died and i understood even as an 8 year old that this was my fault that something i did made a normal person lash out when they would never do such a thing. it was profound because at that moment i understood how different i was and i understood how my existence affected (effected? i hate english honestly) other people who were not like me. but worst of all was i didnt know how to change it or fix it, i would try and i would make progress but i would eventually get more and more stressed out trying to behave like a normal person and then i would have an "episode" and be back at square one.
(i never told anyone my teacher hit me, she shouldnt have obviously, but that is the common reaction my existence has on regular human beings over a long period of time, somehow i just understood it was her fault and i didnt want to cause her any more stress)
There is no excuse for your teacher hitting you. I have worked with kids who got on my nerves. If you’re that mad walk away.
Hi PE! - I was diagnosed about 4 years ago (ASD age 59) and ADHD/Dyslexic when I was about 11. Since the ASD diagnosis I've struggled accepting the diagnosis because my traits are so different than other late diagnosed adults I've met. I was also in denial/avoidance I had any "problems" for 59 years so have a lifetime of dysfunctional coping skills to "unlearn". It is not easy taking down all the walls we've built and letting our true nature free. Autistic people can benefit so much, around other autistic people. Our differences become similarities when we are with others that share a similar neurological foundation. Thank you for what you share with us all.
I just subscribed! I think I got here through Facebook. Anyway, I only found out I was on the spectrum at 60 years old and it certainly answered a lot about my lifelong struggles. Keep up the good work you're doing. I'll be following you. Prayers and blessings!🙏❤
What I find most valuable about this video is that you are verbalising things that I find difficult to explain or express. By listening to you, and reading through the comments, I can see I'm not the only one with these challenges or traits, which helps me feel normal again, if that makes sense.
My passion was initially personal development but this came from a desire to understand how other people work so that I could fit in and be a success. I was trying to fix myself and not be who I am. When my life to that point ultimately failed, I focused on my passion for the metaphysical, healing from trauma and self-love.
I am 52 at the end of the week, and have only recognised my autism (and the extent of it) in November last year. What I've learned in the past week is that my autism is invisible to everyone else, but due to my ability to mask and cope in the moment, it is also invisible to me until after I've breached my own limitations. It's time for me to accept where my limits lie and draw a new line in the sand. Hearing you talk about your own challenges helps me to know that's okay. Thank you.
I am highly empathetic and especially towards animals. But the same people who recognise just how caring and empathetic I am call me all sorts of things like cold/calculating/the b word in certain situations like in arguments because I break everything down into systems and approach it very efficiently. But the way I approach problems comes from my intent to be caring (figuring things out the best way possible to save everyone heartache
Great video, I think myself having ADHD and Autism makes me differ from someone with just autism. For example my extreme interests are capped by the hyper mind and inability to focus for long periods. If I didn’t have ADHD there’s certain subjects I’d be a genius at. Also maths is a particular issue as it requires a level of concentration I couldn’t ever achieve.
Thank you. So vibrant, inclusive and clear. And I resonated with a lot
LOVED this. So true. So funny how these stereotypes exist and develop. Thank you for dispelling the myths x
Oh Ella I love you. "Autistic people are all humans and humans are all different from each other."
In this day and age, you would think everyone would get this by now.
Great video again, will be sharing with friends and family
I am on the spectrum. All the autistic people (diagnosed or not) seem to me to be *more* empathetic than neurotypical. Yes, delayed reactions, and also how to show «appropriate» emotions, and shutting down and more confuses this fact. I have also read that autistics are far more likely to be upset about unjustice. Great video!
I have autism and anxiety and I've started to have migranes
My challenge is when my husband or my manager and co workers think I am mad or miserable, when I am actually content with my job. I have learned to smile a lot so people won't think I am upset
It's funny because I just realized that my manager is walking on eggshells around me even though the angriest I've been is mildly annoyed by something and I specifically indicated that I knew it wasn't her fault. And this has probably been going on for at least 6 months.
Lovely presentation. Really appreciate it. Thanks, Ella.
Got diagnosed at 3 years old I'm female too which is rare diagnonsis sometimes it's so frustrating when someone thinks my disabillity is not valid because I dont "seem" autistic and see my case as mild when infact i really struggle even though I'm able to work.
Yes me too, I struggled getting reffered as My GP assumed because i was working and passed school i couldnt be autistic....
It feels like a curse, being "functional", as people dont take my issues seriously
@@halogeorge1 I feel your pain
This video cheered me up. It's so true what you say about these universally hyped false attempts in society by neurotypicals to misrepresent autistic people. I have the Asperger-related trait called 'Obsessional Paranoia'. The consultant psychiatrist noted the intensity of my long-term obsession with my role model since childhood as very intense which made my life difficult. Now my interest has moved to intense research on things I am passionate about which keeps me shut out from the world.
I sometimes think that, with emotions and loss, it can be a mix of not have control of that particular “volume control” and so either full on or full off, coupled with not really being able to quite understand the role someone played in your life, particularly a parent!
Thank you, delayed emotions and delayed understanding... most of the others also check...
Most of my emotional masking are around people both expecting a different emotional response than my natural one and invalidating my emotional experience when I try to explain it either in explaining what I should have felt, or that the intensity are wrong. Or well this person has it worse so you know you shouldn't feel because it could always be even worse...
I love computes/tech and the video game Warframe. I call myself Autistic Tenno because I love the game Warframe. Tenno is the human character we play in the game. I chose my name to pay tribute to my current favorite game. I am open about my autism because I can show people there are many different kinds of autistic people.
My math skill is strange. I’m not good at getting the answer right but I can do the step procedures right. I’m also Asian so I get hit with the stereotype of being good at math.
I like how someone who is autistic that doesn’t talk was given a computer or something and was able to communicate their thoughts. It shows to neurotypical people that autistic people who don’t talk have thoughts to.
I hate masking but it’s sometime that’s become kind of second nature to me so I can survive in a neurotypical world. I’m guessing that’s why I get hit with comments saying that I don’t seem autistic or they never would have guessed I was. It hurts. I hate it. I also hate it when people say I should take those comments as a compliment. Masking is exhausting and probable does me harm for me it’s what I have to do to survive in real life. Blah.
Sorry for the vomit of information. I liked your video and wanted to share stuff with you. There is a lot of stuff I can relate to. Thank you for sharing.
Great video - you’re so good at explaining things in an interesting and accessible way 😊
The first time a therapist tried to point out I might be on the spectrum I rejected what she said because I compared myself with the stereotypes of Autism I'd seen on media at the time
My special interest has changed over the years. It started as thomas the tank, then dinosaurs/jurassic park, then the lord of the rings, then i started masking and guitars became my special interest as they helped me fit in a little more, then last year i embraced my true interest in the lord of the rings again (i masked my interest in the lord of the rings when i started becoming interested in girls as a teenager)
I absolutely love your videos. You explain things so well and I feel so comforted by this corner of the Internet. Much love!
TY, I'm so glad
It’s great u have honest face and saying it honestly
I can relate to so many things you said to describe yourself that I wish we were friends in real life. Except that I would never text you or ask you out because I've always struggled to keep friends. Anyway, great video!
Have stereotypes happened bc it's NT's deciding what is ASC rather than- now revolutionary idea- letting ASC folx be their own expert. Great video, especially the part regarding emotions. Thank you
The only stereotypes I fit are that I'm good at math and I have been identified through tests to be intellectually gifted. I think the only person to believe my autism is my therapist because she was the only one to be able to identify it, probably because I was at the point that I was unable to completely mask anymore.
Omg I relate.
I heard something the other day about Autistic emotions saying, it's not that we don't feel emotions, it's that we react honestly. I think a lot of NTs react the way their expected to react, whilst with some of us Autistic people, you get the genuine reaction. Although I do sometimes mask but trying not to mask as much now.
Thank you for this video, I really identified especially with the last part regarding emotion processing. I m questioning myself a lot about either I am on the spectrum or not and your videos are helping a lot with my feeling of always being an imposter and trying to find "excuses" to my issues.
I am so glad that you are doing these videos. I recently got an ASD/ADHD diagnosis and listening to you talk and explain about "all the things" is incredibly helpful.
This happened to my character. He had all these stereotypes of how love should feel in his mind and when his feelings didn't feet them he felt guilty for not returning his boyfriend's feelings. Also many characters thought of him as emotionless but it turns out he was actually an empath. When I was working on the plot I didn't think I was experiencing alexithymia but his character made me learn so much about myself. I even sometimes try his prefered stim to control my own skin picking stims.
I keep getting compared to Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. I wish I had a genies level IQ
I haven't been diagnosed (yet). But since age 5 my interest was nutrition. I used to "force" my mom to buy me certain fruits and vegetables to ensure I was getting certain nutrients I wanted to improve specific organ function.
Okay firstly: I love your videos. You have such a great way of explaining things.
Also: I actually really love math and science, I always have since I was in grade school. I realized later on though that I'm not bad at it, it's just that no one taught it to me in a way that I could understand. I think that's probably a good way of thinking of most abilities as an autistic person. We're probably really good at a lot more than we realize, it's just that no one took the time to explain it differently or accommodate us.
Thank you! I was aware that all those were myths, but what I found most interesting was your descriptions of what you are like instead. Those were almost all the same as my own experiences with myself. Your videos have helped me finish connecting various pieces of my own puzzle...in this case, empathy. I knew I was capable of feeling empathy, but only recently realized that the reason communication with others often goes poorly is that I assume that what I feel (or don't) about a given situation is what others are feeling, and it generally isn't. This is why the responses I get confuse and frustrate me. I think it's also one reason I did not pick up on my own neurodivergences for a long time...I just assumed that what I did or felt must be what others do too. Having two parents with the same traits probably added to this (one of your videos, with your sister, helped me figure that out too).
I have liked your video at the first sentence!! This is so absolutely true! Such a brilliant topic! You always inspire me to get a diagnosis, please say fashion as one of the extreme interests, oh gosh you just did. You are amazing!
Excellent video, thanks Ella :-) Thinking of showing this to my family as it's short & clear and makes good points.
Brilliant, mrs purple. Well done. Well said. All very relatable a nd necessary to have talked about. Thank you. Love from Australia.
I can't lie, but that's only because my dad lectured me when I told a white lie to my mom because I didn't want to ruin her surprise that we were getting. Since then I've had this rule that lying is never acceptable. Instead I just won't say any thing.
I also don't behave different from everyone else. When my brother died years ago, I don't think I cried at all. Mostly I was helping his daughters (who were around 8 or 9) to deal with their grief. Over the next few days they would come in and watch shows with me. I gave them a place they could relax and do whatever they needed to do as they grieved for their dad.
When my mom died at the begging of 2021, I again didn't cry. & sot of went numb. At the same time I let my nieces cling to me as they cried. I knew I probably had covid and covid problem killed my mom. But I was not going to push my nieces away from the comfort they needed just because I might give them covid. I wound up being admitted to the hospital for about a week and brought home an oxygen tank because I wasn't getting enough oxygen on my own. At one point I shocked my dad when I needed my own hug.
Yes, but isn't that still you choosing not to lie. I choose not to lie but it doesn't mean we aren't capable? I'm so sorry about your Mom
@@PurpleElla I agree. I could lie before that incident. But my mind took my dad's lecture as if I had done the wrong thing in that situation and I needed to make sure I acted like everyone else. Hence the rule I made. It's very hard for me to go against these rules. For example, another rule tells me if someone talk to me, it's only polite to say something back. It's the only reason I have online friends. A Streamer acknowledged what I had written, so I had to respond back.
I didn't mean autistic people couldn't lie (my nephew figured out how lie to me) , just events in my life had conspired to make me incapable of lying.
Ooh I've not heard anyone mention the not being upset immediately when someone dies thing. My grandad died last year and I couldn't figure out why I was broken!!
My other grandad died years earlier and I was upset, but I think because everyone around me was upset and all of my family got together. Whereas we couldn't do that in covid.
It feels like I'm only sad for other people for how they must be feeling and I'd confused that as my own sadness my whole life. Maybe that part of me has actually always been broken.
Love it! One of my special interests is psychology/neuroscience so I can often identify and explain why people behave a certain way. That made me really doubt my autism but now I accept it.
Never clicked a video so fast! Thanks for this 🥰
Would be interesting if you are actually bad at maths or if it were just the teachers and/or learning material that were bad.
I nearly failed math one year, but the next year I was among the best three of 2 classes.
I loved this teacher and he did nothing else the whole year but telling us what examples we should work through and answering questions when we got stuck.
I'm mostly good at math with a few exceptions. When I was in high school, I ran into my math teacher from the year before. I told him I was switching to his class. He responded with a "We know what grade you'll be getting". He said this because the previous year I had gotten 100% on the final. As I said I'm normally good at math and can help my classmates understand it too.
While I'm good with math , I do have some glaring holes in my math abilities. I think math I struggle with are all math you will do as an adult. I'm not the best with fractions and percentages. I always use an app to figure out how much tip I should. I'm also really bad at loans and interest. I know the basics, but anytime someone tries to explain it in detail, my mind goes "Nope. Not going to remember this. It's confusing me."
Ok, now this one! Not being a Savant is why I masked my “issues” almost until it killed me for many, many years. I tried to keep it hidden (yeah, that worked…) because I took things people said literally and came to believe one couldn’t be autistic without being a savant! Or, at least that one could be non verbal autistic with comorbid brain damage (my brothers diagnosis) or one could be an Asperger’s Savant…
My cousin who I suspect is also on the spectrum told me I talk too much to be autistic. Later he told me I am shy instead of autistic. I guess he can't make up his mind but knows deep inside.
All autistic people are different. Lets take me for example, I get humor, sarcasm, kind of good social cognition, I can read body language, keep eye contact. I can sense days when im more intuned with other peoples emotions and days when im not, then ill mask because I feel disconnected in myself and in others. I usually tell my close ones when im having a bad day. Process disorder. Fradgile nervous system. Thats about it.
A guy in my school was also autistic, he told me he had to learn how to laugh, dident understand ironi nor sarcasm. He took evetything litteral and was good at math. Also met a girl with autism, she often cried out of the blue, i always wondered why she behaved like that, now later when I myself got diagnosed i read about alexithymia which means no words for emotion. She had trouble knowing what she was feeling, i noticed she masked alot, perhaps masking is due to emotional disconnection
I appreciate this video so much. 50 and just finding out this had been my life long issue after many diagnoses. I'm sooooo bad at math!!!
1. Yeah I've never been all that interested in trains either, but I do have a lot of other special interests.
2. I also go against the stereotype there as math was actually my worst subject in school and I've failed some math classes too.
3. Yeah I agree with you about the empathy thing I don't think it's a matter of not having empathy it's a matter of neurotypical and non-neurotypical people not being able to understand each other.
4. I've become a good musician/singer but I wouldn't really attribute it to any sort of "savant syndrome" sort of thing since it took years of training to get as good as I am.
5. Yeah I never really understood the "don't have emotions" myth but I think that makes sense that it originated from people not being able to identify it.
Haha, my superpower is forgetting, give me 10 years, and I forget who was the main killer in the crime book, and forget all the details within a few years.
I also wanted to say how good you've became as a presenter in the video. Before I used to only listen and fidget with something while I'm doing so, but now it's a pleasure to watch as well.
I am intellectually gifted with a talent for math. I am pursuing math grad school. Before encountering math, I was somewhat talented at writing and art. But I was extremely stressed out by the culture where all judgement is based on the subjective feelings and opinion of whoever is in power. It was mostly social games instead of liters try merit. So I quit, and switched over to science. I have never been happier!! I discovered I am autistic, and now I’m surrounded by other autistics day in and day out. I fit the stereotype like a glove, but it works for me perfectly, and I am so grateful.
*literary merit
Thanks so much for this, Ella!
Wow I had an obsession with trains when I was a kid. And then I moved onto castles. I recently realised that I have adhd but now I'm also beginning to realise I have some autism in there too.
The Autism stereotypes I meet is fixation on fictiois things..I fixate on collecting a type of animated toys..it used to be those pop dolls know I fixate on these gothic creepture figures..my house is covered with them also I have the creativity thing
Im 64 and on the low end of the spectrum. I lack some social skills and I definitely speak at the wrong time.
My routine is important to me and I have no friends.
I’m 22, autistic and recently I had 2 people tell me that I don’t seem like I have autism even though I actually do
This video is so didatic and necessary! You are awesome ❤
I admittedly fall under the trains stereotype, but other than that, none of the other stereotypes you mentioned in this video apply to me personally. Definitely not a maths genius (got a B on my GCSE back in 2014 and didn't have any interest in pursuing maths any further), not a savant (not especially good at anything in a superhuman way) and definitely feel emotions, albeit in a different way that can sometimes overwhelm me.
I love Helen Hoang! I’ve read her books as well, and have really enjoyed them. 😊
I also don't fit a lot of autism stereotypes, I've only just now been referred for my formal diagnosis at age 40. My doctor was incredibly reluctant to refer me, asking why? What 'difficulties' was I having? The impact on my mental health has been profound but I'm only just unpicking why.
I have also difficulties expressing joy or gratitude. Sure I am happy, glad, thankful whatsoever, but do I have to jump or scream or make a 500 words speech?
Thank you for this video. I remember when I was diagnosed, I was confused. To me, there were two kinds of autism, Sheldon Cooper and Rain Man, and I fit neither. I'm decent but not genius level at maths, my big interest is lakes (I have always loved lakes), and I am the opposite of the non-empathy stereotype as I have so much empathy I even feel sad when inanimate objects are hurt and I can't enjoy a lot of comedies because I feel sad for the person we're expected to laugh at (unless it's so over the top that I can't really immerse myself in it and just distance myself from it). Another autistic stereotype that I don't fit, gender specific, is that autistic girls mask and are introverted. I'm extroverted and have never been good at "fitting in". Two words I would hear a lot from my peers is "nobody cares" when I would start talking about something I was currently fascinated with. Unless I happened to have interest in something mainstream at the time, then I'd be much more tolerated. My speech has always been a little "different", I've been compared to a text to speech program before. I also don't fit the nonverbal stereotype at all, as I am extremely verbose. In fact, I talk so much that I don't pause to swallow my saliva until I'm foaming at the mouth and talking like I have a hot potato in my mouth. It's a bad habit, I know, but I just want to keep talking! I have so many words to say! As you can tell from my comment, I do indeed use a lot of words. And I am the worst at flirting. Whenever I have a crush on a man, I "flirt" by turning my normal personality up to full power, and I don't mean to, it just happens. I always want to cry when someone who was initially interested in me no longer is after just a few minutes. I think it's that I like something and I want to share that joy with someone else so they can experience the same kind of joy that I did, and I'm terrible at doing that.
Rainman' was NEVER autistic - why do even autistic folk keep saying this? And I've heard more from autistic folk than NTs. He was Fragile X Syndrome; he simply became a cypher in America for low function/high needs autism. Just cos it says it on the box, doesn't mean the contents are as described
@@TheGenbox2 I didn't know that, I knew Sheldon Cooper was never officially said to be on the spectrum (although Jim Parsons said Sheldon is), but I didn't know that about Rain Man. I apologize for perpetuating misinformation, that was not my intent. However, I do think it's accurate to say that the common perception is that Rain Man and Sheldon Cooper are go-to examples for the average person of people with autism, even if it's not accurate?
Actually, the Rain Man comparison is common outside of America as well. I grew up in Ireland and was compared to Rain Man a few times when I was really young and Sheldon Cooper when I was older (I'm 22, so I'm still really young, I suppose)
i am autistic and i love technologies like tiktok, minecraft but what I love most is teaching nero typical people about autism
Literally the only reason that I'm good at math is because of autism. But, only because it was my special interest for many years and I was hanging out on college campus doing a ton of work with it.
I see stitch in the background!! 😁. My cute little big-eyed boy is autistic... His interests are constantly changing. My daughter who seems neurotypical (but probably isn't because no one in our family is lol) is the one who loves choo choo trains 🚂
This was a super interesting video Ella
Does savant syndrome apply when people are extremely gifted in a more conventional way? 🤔 And is it recognized officially as a syndrome/condition?
Truly wonderful. So glad I clicked in.
Watching your videos is like a visit with a friend. Thank you.
Arithmetic is not mathematics, you can be horrible with arithmetic and still be a savant with mathematics... the two are not really connected in any way at all.
Maths is really about problem solving. Arithmetic is just learning a load of number rules.
I really like your lego bonzai, I have the same and it's my favorite lego set!
Spirituality is where we hold our power , I'm fully awake I'm aware I'm having an experience as a human I know I am a soul... Stereotype people anyone is wrong we are all different we need to be ourselves and not how society has led us to believe.... Gender.. age.. hight... We are not our minds..... We are consciousness, be free be still be you and not what everyone else thinks
I think stereotypes are why I never even considered my self autistic until it was pointed out and got diagnosed, for example I had thoughts like oh I can't be autistic I don't have those super powers or I'm not good at maths
I think the interest itself could be autistic. For example a little girl becoming fascinated with canals or sidewalk cracks. Or phone number exchanges. Being fascinated with a Barbie doll is normal; that's what the doll is for: to enthrall a little girl. It's a pretty, miniature lady, and it makes sense for a child to love her Barbie. But...canals? Airplane runways? Sidewalk cracks? Phone number exchanges? Those are all odd; indicative of autism! I have a formal diagnosis of ASD by the way.
Well, I do enjoy train stuff but I failed calculus 3 times in a row! And algebra was quite a struggle. Geometry turned out to be both relatable and enjoyable.
you know you can wear a cape without being a superhero, right?
Thank you Purple Ella👍🏼🌱
The is a form of empathic mathemtics that deals with alignment and shapes and folding and so on - called topology. It is the highest form of maths - expressed most beautifully by Roger Penrose with his Penrose Tiles - he needed extra time in maths exams because he thought in shapes. Modern maths education does not suit us.
The last part about having struggles with the mask personality - oh man that is hard. I'm just starting. Thanks for the video. I thought I was going mad.
What’s interesting is that I fit a lot of stereotypes but don’t fit other ones!
I actually am an autistic savant; when I was tested they found my IQ was in the 140s and I do have special talents. I’m extremely good at math, I even taught myself calculus at 13 years old without even knowing that the “number games” I was playing were calculus! I’m also very good at music. I’ve won national awards and have had a professional career in music since I was 15/16.
That being said, I’m also a genderqueer bisexual Latine who can sometimes mask. Generally, autistic savants aren’t portrayed as anything but cishet white men. Also, I’m an adult… it turns out that autism doesn’t only appear in children!
I didn't realise the emotional delay was an autism thing. Thank you xxx
I told someone i have autism (diagnosed by a psychologist) and they told me that i probably was wrong because his son has autism and he lived with someone with autism for 10 years so he knows what autism is so i must have a very rare sort of autism then like kinda like he was mocking me
I can't be autistic because I don't look like it and my school grades were too good. As we all know autistic aren't very clever people.. I've been treated like I didn't know how to read or understand normal speech when had to use Finland's not so great health care services, which I do try to avoid.
My emotions are clearly stronger than average (heard about this all my life). And because I feel other people's feelings (which I guess is part of my synesthesia or one feature which Tony Atwood's talked about. Don't know if these are actually the same phenomenon.)
And I don't like trains at all. I'm misdiagnosed for sure. Think about it. I love to tell sarcastic jokes but if I'm really autistic, I shouldn't be able to understand sarcasm nor know how to tell jokes.. far too social.. and I'm terrible at math as well.
The sarcasm is an interesting point. I can BE sarcastic, because I know my own intention, but frequently have issues with sarcasm from others. Especially people I don't know.
I just found your channel and your videos are really helpful thank you!
Trains and dinosaurs. LOL I love them both. My interests can range very widely but when I'm into something I definitely delve in deeply. It can take away from more important things. Oops. My child (also autistic) could care less about trains and dinosaurs for the most part.
It also bothers me that people don't understand SPD much, even when in the field of special education or similar. SPD can be a part of ASD or independent. I've too often heard people lumped into "sensory seekers" or "sensory avoiders" . But again it seems to be more about the compulsive and intense feelings and sensations whether rejecting or seeking. Yes it can lean one way or the other but everyone I have met has a range. My child has severe ASD but actually copes with sensory processing very well. I have less severe ASD but my SPD is one of the main criteria of my dx. But I have very strong reactions to audio; if I like a song/sound I can listen to it repeatedly beyond what most people will tolerate. BUT if I don't like a sound I can quickly feel very disturbed, unable to think about anything else, and even physical symptoms such as nausea and strong frustration and exhaustion. I mostly seek tactile experiences but there are some that I CANNOT tolerate like a normal adult. As a child I actually used to cry and be off-put form my hands being dirty.
It takes one to know one, i think. I can usually tell when someone is "one of mine". : )
I love us!
Am also adhd.
I failed my GCSEs too but i passed RE with a C.
A lot of autistic people get called gifted but for me I was an underachiever and I was in the bottom set for maths and nearly the bottom set for English.
I probably have an underlying learning difficulty or something
Another excellent video! Thanks for sharing! 👍
Regarding math(s)-I don't think I believe even that there is a clear distinction between "systematic" and "empathetic" approaches, or that, if so, one would be necessarily associated with ability in math(s).
Very interesting, I am also terrible with maths and often wonder if I have Dyscalcular as I have been diagnosed with dyslexia. I was wondering if you have discussed how childhood trauma/trauma in general can be experienced when someone has Autism and ADHD?
And, yes, this entire list!!!!
I find the most ableist people are usually the ones who not only stereotype all autistic people as savants, but also completely misunderstand what being a savant is.
In a recent interview, for example, Joe Mantegna referred to his “As We See It” co-star, Rick Glassman, as a savant merely because he was good at standup comedy.
Alison Singer of the Autism Science Foundation (and the infamous Autism Speaks video) has referred to skilled autistic people as being on the “savant end of the spectrum.”
I find this especially offensive, because they’re conflating competence with extraordinary ability. They’re also suggesting that being incompetent is the default autistic state and that we must be something special if we’re good at anything.
Quite frankly, I feel statements like these are often a deliberate attempt at infantilization and disrespect (especially in Singer’s case).
also i am not sure if it's an autistic trait to constantly be obsessed with something but then lose interest after a period of time only to become interesting in something completely different, but eventually become "re-interested" in the thing you were interested in before you stoped being interested in it (basically i cannot seem to ever finish anything) part of me thinks this is why i am intelligent though, as a child i would find something that interested me and i would NEED to know everything i possibly could about that interest, but then i would find something else, and then something else and by the time i was 10 years old i was reading college level books on science and history and physics (i am not good at math in any way, but i like physics stuff)