Hearing you use the word “train” reminds me of Proverbs 22:6. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
@@caterinas6863It obviously is a punishment, as she also threaten her kids with it. Using distance and disconnection as punishment is cruel and harmful.
And I think it is one thing to do it this way, which isn't right in my eyes, privat with your family, but filming the kids every time they are having tantrums and showing this to thousands of people,.teaching them this way, is another thing. Poor kids. Poor society. I don't know if she has any idea of how and in which age a child is capable to regulate emotions. Every parent should read at least one book about emotional development. They don't need to be separated and be "nice" or whatever word U use. They need the parents to co-regulate and help them get through this. At least wehen they are this young....She's just teaching them to hide the feelings and be nice, if not U going to be punished by sitting alone in your time out zone. I don't agree with all of this. It makes me feel very sorry for the children. (I'm German, I am working in kindergarten, hope my English is good to understand ;))
I'm 61 and have raised kids. Children should NEVER be banished or punished for having feelings. That sets people up for a lifetime of people pleasing and all sorts of codependent relationships. Children learn what their parents are living, not what parents are trying to teach or do through behavior techniques. If you want a peaceful loving, thoughtful child then be a peaceful, loving, thoughtful person yourself.
Do you realize that a huge part of the success of your time-out strategy is that you are providing a structure, with boundaries, that is giving River a means to make more sense of his world. I remember having a tantrum when I was less than 2 y/o. My mom left; my aunt was babysitting. I was in a crib, standing, and made a decision that I wanted my mother -- it became my raison d'etre and no force on earth could comfort or dissuade me from crying for mother. Being a young child is like being a speck of dust free-floating in a universe without any anchor point. Watching your videos brought home to me the utter relief a child feels when he or she is given something by which to orient himself, an anchor point, a set of boundaries that provide a welcome bit of predictability. Free-floating in space is at best confusing, and at worst, terrifying. I so enjoy your videos -- and your beautiful family.
That anchor point should be the parent for healthy regulation. This is punishing by isolation, and it's punishing crying, what is harmful, sick and cruel.
@@antigone4309 how is she punishing crying? She's literally asking them to go sit in one corner and cry as much as they want (get it out of your system) and when they are calmer, they can talk and understand themselves better. Mummy is calm, baby is calm and there's no yelling, cursing or slippers flying across the room.
What else is she punishing? And don't tell me this is just to regulate emotions. That is simply untrue. Toddlers regulate in a healthy way in connection. How can you not see it's a punishment? Especially as she also likes to threaten her children with it. I sort of understand people considering it normal, I used to myself. But if you read into current research and listen to healthy instinct, it is absolutely not. Again, PROVEN to be harmful.
Anybody who comments "he's too little to understand" is showing their lack of experience and comprehension of child development, regardless of how many children they've had. Children are absolute geniuses, and you limit their capacity for growth and maturing by viewing them as "unable". Children learn more in the first 5yrs of their life, then the entire rest of their life. They process more data in the first 6 months of their life than the first 5 yrs. They absolutely are able to comprehend expectations & consequences when given at their level, & with consistency. Moreover, they will be happier, more well adjusted, resilient children for having learned those skills as early as possible. Todays youth is proof enough that permissive parenting does not produce healthy results.
Actually, it’s you who doesn’t understand child development. Before the age of 3, kids are literally babies. Best thing for their development is to play with them, and provide good care. PLAYING is for learning, time outs don’t teach them anything at this age, because he is not developmentally ready to comprehend the concept of being nice. Toddlers are not social that way. Notice how she has to do it multiple times. Why? Because it doesn’t work. This kid literally doesn’t understand what he is expected to do. Notice, how toddlers don’t play with other children, they are DEVELOPMENTALLY not ready to be social at this age, and being ready for socializing is when a child can learn how to be nice, share, follow instructions, so on. So, she will spend a year “teaching him to regulate his emotions” and then he matures and stops the tantrums, and she is happy with her parental “success”. If she waited until he is 3 something, she would have to do it once, maybe twice.
I'm so glad I found your channel. My son is 3 and after a lot of parenting fails, and out of control behavior, I stumbled upon supernanny and Jo Frost. After taking her advice, my son is a totally different kid. Not only more well behaved, but more loving, trusting, communitave and affectionate. It looks like you follow the same methods so I'm happy to have found you!
I’m 68 years old and I was a spanker when my boys were kids, but I wish I’d known about this back then! I forward your shorts to my grandchildren that have children 💖
Olivia, you are an awesome Mom. I used the same technique with my children and grandchild. Everyone is all grown up now. My grand daughter who is 31 has told me numerous times I did an excellent job raising all of them. The reason being is that her mom raised her with the same technique. My feelings on children having a voice, but when they are being nice not throwing tantrums, is so vital for growing and maturing.
What is the tantrum in the first place? It an alarm that a need, most of the times emotions, needs to be take care of... we like adults still want to be seen, heard and accepted "good, bad and ugly" It s soooo hard to "regulate" emotions by yourself as an adult much more as a child when he doesn’t even understand what it s that things what he is feeling... "either choose to be nice" later will be people pleaser just to not be let alone.. the things that you are nearby but not connecting with him, doesn't help but worse.. just my opinion. I am a mother too.. somehow i understand you, it s not easy peasy with 7 children.. but look far, think deep... love and blessings
I’m not sure time out can teach young children to regulate. I understand your logic and your right to do what you choose with your children but developmentally young children can co regulate not self regulate. Their brain can really only self regulate around 4-5 and beyond when the frontal cortex is more developed and their language skills have developed
@@antigone4309 Do you think she is not aware of same repetitive opinion you all leave in the comments? People have a right to discipline their kids as they see fit
@@tashanaivancevic1539 people are entitled to their opinions. I mean she puts her children on the internet and that’s what you open yourself up to. I actually quite like some of her techniques
Olivia I have to say I really love your videos, and you're doing a really good job. I'm 33 (going on 34) now, and I wish parenting in the 90s was anything even close how your connecting with your kids.
I don't have children yet and usually don't appreciate people putting their children in social media, but your videos are really informative and you handle your children with much love and care and respect. I like that. Especially that you go on their level and accept and respect their feelings. My parents didn't do that, there was very little respect and lots of talking down towards my sister and me and I always felt I wanted to take a different approach once I have kids. Thanks for showing me a way I like :)
Olivia, I absolutely love that you explained this process. My son is not quite a toddler yet, but I'm already starting to see the temper tantrums occur. He is unable to verbally communicate what he needs right now (9mos), but when he gets a little older, I will definitely be trying the "time-out" method. Thank you so much for sharing!
I’m exhausted from all the talking…I agree with some of these comments. He’s a little little man , they cry because they are tired or hungry , not actively choosing not to be nice. I don’t know , something is off with parts of this. And the little man is always looking at the camera after the time out. It’s alittle creepy to watch feels alittle cold. Can’t totally explain.
Yes! Its controlling in a sheeps clothing. The Child needs validation. Not to be told to "be nice"! Anger is healthy! And SHOULD and NEED to be expressed for healthy development. THIS is how cluster B personality developes.
@@kellychapman8095 I completely agree. This woman, who appears to have no education in child development, believes she's an expert. I really feel for her children.
No they are not little men. He is a child with a profoundly undeveloped mind. A human being has a very long childhood. We do not become fully adult until roughly 25, only then is has our brain grown to it's fullest size, to the comprehension that an adult is capable of.
Your amazing I use to be a child carer and your setting boundaries and you explain why your setting boundaries. Children need boundaries and they appreciate it and they are better people for it.
I am so glad I followed you and seen your videos. I have a 4 year old boy who's behavior has gotten so worse from screaming and yelling at me and his dad and some hitting .
This was great! I love how you provided step by step examples. It’s helped me change some elements of how I’ve been doing time out. My kid does better when he gets some space for sure but I like how you did that while still keeping him close.
When my kids were small I was sick for a long time. I wasn't able to be the mother I wanted to be, couldn't give them the safety of bounderies. The only thing I could give them was a whole lot of love and hugs and they felt save with me even while I was sick. Now they are grown ups and they were reall nice, friendly and polite kids most of the time and they became very social and nice adults to be around with. I'm so thankfull that they turned out to be such beautyfull persons. And they know right from wrong, because they always felt in their hearts what was right and wrong, kind and unkind, good and bad. They chose the right things most of the time. They told me I was a good mom, while I felt like a failure. Why did they say that? Because I was always there for them even though I was sick. I forced myself to get out of bed every day for them. I gave everything I could give, even if that wasn't much, finally it turned out to be enough. I overloaded them with love and they knew whatever happened I would never put them down and never will. Now that they are adults I get so much love back from them. Kids are such a blessing when the are small and even more when they get older.
yep... Imagine you'd give them time out because they "had to be nice to you" instead... 😓 It must have been hard for you, I was ill the 2 past years and now that I am finally almost healed I don't know how I made it!!!
I love that your channel is successful. I saw so many comments from people who clearly dont have children. Lol Girlfriend, i pray God blesses your socks off.
Hi Olivia, I have concerns , not about the time out for actual bad behavior, but the choice of word. "Be nice or not nice" when he is crying, his way of communicating needs, he feels perhaps not understood. He was crying because he couldn't articulate what he wants. Sometimes he doesn't throw a tantrum and cries. He is being told he isn't nice when he cries, in a sense, some of the time. As he becomes older he will stuff down his wanting to cry feelings. If I am crying it's nice to hear something soothing and I know it's hard, give a hug, or something. Every time he cries saying he isn't chosing good behavior with..him not being nice...he looks like he cries because he's being told he he's not being nice for crying. Look how eager he is to please you because you didn't like his crying. I am not saying you shouldn't discipline, but note he doesn't have all the words to voice what he needs so he cries about it. It's okay to cry. It breaks my heart he might feel misunderstood...What can't I cry? Hopefully I explained without misunderstanding my meaning . If you weren't being mean and crying. How would you feel if someone told you you weren't being nice? I would protest too and do my best at attempting to explain.
My goodness thank you so much for this! I’ve only ever heard time out explained as a consequence…so this was refreshing to hear! My son just turned two and we are going through it 😅 I am definitely going to try this method out for a while and see how he responds💕
Thanks Olivia. I am writing from India. Talking to your child, when he/she is screaming, folding up, is difficult for an average adult, as it requires tons of patience each time (the reason you see negative comments). I see most parents either bribe or scare them with something, to make them behave. And your wise words - "Be consistent", make it even more of a WORK, for the adult. If you got, even a shred of guilt, about your way of handling, then please let it wash away. This part of the world is admiring your way of handling the tantrums. More power to you.
About the “where is your smile?” You are teaching him that being happy is also a choice and part of being nice. Human beings are reflective animals. When we smile, others do too. It’s contagious and a way to pay it forward.
For those that are concerned with the word “nice,” you can use behavior specific language. For example, “I need you to sit here until you can play safely in the pool,” or “I need you to sit here until you can keep your hands to yourself while playing with your brother.” Thanks for sharing your successes and tips, Olivia! I hope people can take what works for them, even if it’s not exactly the same as your steps. Unfortunately, it feels very divided on social media when I think most of us are in a gray area. Permissive parenting is damaging (your skits are hilarious) and the structure you explained here falls under authoritative, which is the gold standard. Personally I’ve shifted more to logical consequences instead of a blanket time out technique, but time out can definitely be useful, especially with the little ones. Thanks!
I love this! Thank you so much for your thoughtful input and kind words. I completely agree that everyone should use whatever language works best for their children. "Being nice" is just what resonates with me, but behavior-specific language is definitely a great option too. It’s all about finding what fits each child’s needs!
I'm so grateful for this video, I've been so lost for months, searching for the best way to calm down my son's tantrums. I loved this video!, I'm going to put in practice right now! (Sorry for the English, I'm from Brazil 🇧🇷) I love your Chanel! God bless you! 😘😘
Hi Olivia, I just found your videos at a time that I am struggling with gentle parenting my kids. Thank you so very much for taking the time to share your experience with us. It's been 2 weeks since I've started implementing some of your principles in my own home and i am starting to see some long hoped for positive improvements for me and my children. Love from England ❤
Thank you so much! The thorough step by step explanation plus your examples in practice is so helpful. I know my family used "Time out" as a consequence so as kids we hated it and sometimes got into more trouble because of it...but this is a whole new way of looking at the practice and it makes so much more sense. Even as adults time away from conflict can help us cool off and respond more appropriately. It's awesome to see that kids can learn to do this before they can even speak!
I just watched quite a number of your shorts beside you made me feel nice and have joy, i havent seen such thing, God bless you all. Some people are just talented at some things, hope those works helps other moms, and so have healthy generations spiritually and emotionally and phisically and respectful and…
I don’t have kids yet but I’ll definitely be coming back here to get some amazing advice whenever god blesses me with babies ❤ love the way you parent so amazing now and days it’s so disappointing to see how people parent their children they let the kids walk all over them they don’t take the time and don’t have patience to work with their children so I really commend you for the mom you are your children are going to be such an amazing part of society
As an adult I need from time to time a shoulder to cry on. Even more so do children. I am not saying kicking others is fine but never getting to cry in one’s mom’s arms should feel very lonely. Hopefully it’s not the case
This is a great technique to teach children how to calm down and regulate their behavior. When children are in a tantrum and flailing about, they are crying, unhappy, and out of control. This teaches them to calm down in that moment and later to talk about the issue when they are calm.
My children never really needed time out. They hardly ever had any tantrums. Maybe because I knew what they needed on a emotional level and I gave them the hugs and the understanding, the attention they needed, at the same time still respecting my education and bounderies, and it would just not ever come to a tantrum. Tantrums many times come out of being exhausted and the child is just really tired or because they lack something. So it's still you! You have to change something.
Your videos popped up on my suggestion page and I am so glad. I have been following you for some weeks and I think you are such an inspiration. Just watching your patience has helped me be patient in stressful situations with my kids. Thank you!
I think it also might just help calm yourself in general. It often helps ME be patient with myself and to relax. Some of her methods are probably the most relaxing thing I've tried in a long time. It's amazing!
Amazing method, Olivia! I love it. The whole point is to help the child to learn how to take control of his emotions, not the emotions take control of him, and then be ABLE to verbalize his need. For those leaving negative comments, listen closer to what she is saying. She is empowering her children and reminding them all the while that they are loved and supported throughout this growing process. This is a wonderful method that will help your children be stable, communicative adults in the future. Learning how to take personal time to calm oneself so the emotions don't control the situation is a huge sign of maturity and stable mental health. ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!! BRAVA, Olivia. ❤
Thank you so much for your kind words! I truly appreciate your understanding of the method and how it empowers children to manage their emotions. It means a lot to hear that I am not alone❤️
@@livjowen Hi Liv. The negative comments are exhausting, especially when they’re from the same person over and over again. They truly don’t seem to get it nor do they seem like they even want to regardless of watching this video clearly explaining it isn’t punishment, you’re literally right there and the behavior that started it isn’t really the crying itself. They still don’t understand what nice means in this context and that they can use whatever word they want. No, they prefer to compare you to Ruby Franke which is absurd and thoroughly insulting (and laughable). I love the techniques you use. The grace you display despite the haters is admirable. 💙
Everybody sometimes need a time out. Even we as adults or as parents. Its good to learn them at such young age. I was never learnt by my parents to have a time out, so I only learned it by myself when I was already an adult and a mom myself.
I’m reaching out as a PhD with two master’s degrees-one in psychology and the other in education-to share some thoughts on your most recent video showcasing, again, the timeout method. This feedback is shared with respect for the work and care you put into raising your children. The timeout method, especially when you ask, “Are you ready to be nice?” can make children feel as if they’re being labeled as mean or not good whenever they express frustration or anger. This approach goes in strict contradiction to your comments about how you, as an adult, would often like your husband "to send you to timeout," stating how when you are in a bad mood or angry, you need time to cool down. However, you are not implying that you yourself are not being nice, correct? The opposite of “nice” implies “bad” or “mean,” which may unintentionally send the message that certain emotions are unacceptable and, by extension, they are “bad” for feeling them. Children are inherently GOOD and are still learning to navigate their emotions, and approaches labeling them otherwise can affect their self-esteem and sense of worth. You yourself say, “As we know, having emotions and having feelings is not a bad thing,” and yet when you tell your child, “Are you ready to be nice?” you are clearly implying their emotions are, in fact, a bad thing. I hope you can see this contradiction. It’s a very small adjustment in your wording, to make a significant difference. Here are some alternative approaches to consider: Acknowledge their feelings: Rather than labeling behavior as “bad,” try recognizing what they’re experiencing. For instance, “I can see you’re feeling frustrated, and that’s okay,” can help them understand that it’s normal to have difficult feelings. Give choices to foster agency: Offering them a choice-such as “Would you like to take a break or try again later?”-can empower them to feel some control over their actions and reduce feelings of frustration or powerlessness. Avoid power struggles by validating their perspective: Pausing to hear their thoughts before enforcing a rule can help build connection and reduce resentment. Model self-regulation: Saying, “I’m feeling a bit frustrated myself, so I’ll take a deep breath before we continue,” teaches them a healthy way to handle strong feelings. In another video, Thanksgiving Prep Live (minute 32:03), your eldest daughter comments, “We have to, like, agree to everything Mom says; we’re like, ‘aha, aha, aha aha.’” This statement, along with a moment when you introduced Christmas music as “we have to listen to such music, right?” may reflect a sense of frustration or a lack of agency. Over time, always going along with what you say without feeling heard can build resentment. You also say, “If my husband sent me to timeout when I was feeling angry or frustrated I would say thank you.” But let me ask you this: Would you feel the same way if he told you, “You go on timeout until you’re ready to be nice”? Would you feel the same? And that’s exactly what you’re doing to your children. These observations are shared only with positive intentions, and I hope they might provide ideas for nurturing both connection and a healthy sense of agency in your children. Thank you for considering this feedback, and please feel free to reach out if you’d like to discuss further.
@@tationutube he is totally still a baby and my heart breaks when he is crying and gets taken away to sit alone instead of being comforted , how is crying “ not being nice “ …
@livjowen I don't understand all the backlash saying you're isolating your baby one he's not a baby and two he's not being isolated considering you're right there in his presence and you can clearly see each other.. Some of these parents will have a world of trouble with their kids when they're older. Love your videos and your parenting skills. I've raised seven children myself and they're all very loving and respectful young adults. Keep up the great work mom
I can see that God has truly blessed you and your family!! You're beautiful inside and out, Olivia, you have a beautiful home, beautiful smart kids and a super supportive husband! So kuddos to you too Dad! No one is perfect for sure, but you all are definitely a wonderful family deserving of your successes. I'm a mom of 3. Boys who are 16, 11, and 3. I didn't know what I was doing with the first two, so I was sadly inconsistent. However, they have turned out to be very successful happy kids at home and in school. I was never taught to self-regulate as a child, or given a safe outlet, nor love and acceptance of my emotions the way you give your kids! I'm so happy and impressed with you. Thank you so much for sharing this. I teared up at watching the success after all that training!!! I actually cried because it was such a beautiful thing to watch!!! I giggled at River getting up many times at first cause I can relate. I am not as patient as you, so that is my daily struggle, and I pray every day to be more patient. For those reading, please please keep me in your prayers, so I can raise healthy kids with my husband, so they grow up better than I did, knowing that their feelings are safe and there's an appropriate way to display them, as well as that it's ok to calm down first!! I want my kids to grow up confident of themselves, unlike myself. May God continue to bless you and your family, Olivia, and everyone reading this!! (Also, apologies if I missed this, and I hope you don't mind me asking, but I wonder, did your parents raise you the same as you raise your kids?)
Everyone downing her for doing something that not only benefits her children but also works for her family really need to dig deep and ask yourself why its bothering you so bad because this is such a wonderful way to teach your children to process their feelings and cslm down. Most parents punish and move on, this is such a great alternative!
I’m confused, was he just tired? because he grabbed a pillow and a blanket. I’m not sure how a 1-year old can reflect on his behavior. The brain of a 1-year old can not process it…
Have you raised any children? I have a 10month old who impresses me daily with his cognitive abilities. A minute ago he crawled to me and screamed at me to pick him up. I looked at him, said, "no. Don't scream. Say Mama." He calmed began repeating mama and I picked him up. He doesn't usually say mama, so it's not a coincidence that he decided to imitate it
@ yes I am currently raising a child. I see your point that children are very smart and understand a lot. But I don’t understand your example and at 10 months old if my baby would scream I would pick them up immediately and kissed and hugged them. What are you trying to teach a 10 month old by telling him that he needs not to scream and be a good behaved child otherwise mom doesn’t love him?
He is too little to understand “Do you want to be nice?” He is too little full stop. I’ve done the same as you before. But to be honest when I view it, I see you separating yourself from your child. And it IS a punishment for a child so small. He is too little to understand. His self regulation needs his mother to be present. Not being separated. The Do you want to be nice? Question is kind of ridiculous. It denotes. He isn’t being nice. It’s way too suggestive. They can’t make a choice at that moment as you mentioned, their brain has rewired. A little bub this age can’t CHOOSE behaviour. It’s simply not possible. So your theory contradicts itself.
Especially as he wasn't even "not nice", he is crying! The emotion is ok but the behaviour is not? Crying IS a completely appropriate behaviour to process emotions!
Sorry, you get no "like" for your view of the truth. I totally agree with U. I feel so uncomfortable watching this little boy crying and always be put back in "time out" instead of being there for him and getting through this togethe. I would like to be there for him. It's so sad 😢 she's just manipulating her children. Did she ever hear about conditioning? That's what she's doing. How can she go viral with this? Just because she's a mom of seven doesn't mean she is an expert in parenting.
What do you mean when you say your kid isn't "being nice" or showing "good behavior?" Are they hurting other people or damaging things? Or do you just mean they're crying? If it's the latter, then that worries me because crying is a very natural reaction! Especially for kids that age who can't express their needs using words yet.
In this context not being nice means being in an emotional state that is unhelpful to them because their thinking and communicating brain isn't accessible until they have calmed down. Yes, that's completely age appropriate, but what a great idea to not just wait for them to grow older and more capable, but instead coach them and show them what works to help you cope and come down from big emotions and discover at this young age that wow it is possible to get calm and then communicate. This is so so great.
When I talk about my child not "being nice" or showing "good behavior," I’m referring to their actions, not their emotions. Behaviors like hitting, throwing things, or screaming at me are examples of what I consider not good behavior.
Hi Olivia, i really appreciate what you were doing to your kids, THE TIME OUT and others thinks but in my opinion i think you should let them cry in your shoulders sometimes, i mean when we as a grownman when we feel sad we need someone else to share this feeling with us for Ex: Couple, when the girlfriend cry in shoulders of her boyfriend. And a lot of others exemple when someone is dead... i mean you should add this one in you next pratice. This is just an advice otherwise you really doing good as a mother and i'm so proud of you. Keep continue ! Love u all GOD BLESS YOU🙏 i'm chadian 🇹🇩 who live in morrocco Marrakech 🇲🇦 Good bye😊🖐
Time out punishes bad behaviour, something doing wrong, and absolutely do not punishes emotions. What can do wrong an one year old baby? Who is wrong, very wrong here is the mother! I was in tear how she rudely grabbed, twisted and forced the poor baby's body! Nobody can see it? Really?
@@livjowen hi Olivia! I have a question. What would your response be to behavior that still has consequences even if they say they're ready to be nice? Would punishment in any way take place at all, to let them know that you can't just behave in any way and then say you're ready to be nice, without having/facing any consequences for the behavior? Love your videos girl❤
Hi Brooke! That’s a great question, and the answer really depends on the child's age and their ability to listen and communicate. For example, recently River, who is almost 2 years old, bit Hudson on the arm quite badly. Since that behavior isn’t nice, I removed him from the situation and went through the time-out process with him. To help him understand, I brought Hudson into the equation and showed River how much he had hurt his brother. I pointed out the marks and explained how it hurts and makes Hudson cry. At this age, River is still learning; he isn’t choosing to be mean out of malice-he’s very much in the process of developing his understanding of empathy. I find that taking the extra step to point out the behavior really helps in avoiding it in the future. On the other hand, when Hudson, who is 3 and a half, hits River on the head with a toy, I also follow the time-out process (which takes place in his room). Afterward, I apply a "consequence" for his actions, which could be: - Sitting on his bed during playtime instead of playing with his toys. - Losing screen time (if there was any planned for that day). - Not getting ice cream after lunch. I make sure to clearly explain it to him as well: "You can’t play with your toys right now because you hurt River, and that’s not okay," or "You can’t watch TV during naptime because you hurt River, and that’s not okay," or "You don't get ice cream after lunch because you hurt River, and that’s not okay." Whatever makes sense for you at the time. This way, he understands the connection between his actions and the consequences. I’ve noticed that when one of those "nice" or "fun" things is removed, he remembers it better. The next time he has ice cream, it often triggers his memory, and he’ll exclaim something like, "Mom, I didn't hit River, and now I have ice cream!" To which I always praise him for making the right choice.
I don't understand what does "ready to be nice" mean if a child is crying. This is crying not a tantrum. I always calmed my children by hugging them, talking to them....
I'm sure her son will feel comfortable showing genuine emotion when he grows up and won't repress sadness and become an angry, invalidated person at all.
In 10 minutes of the video. When my son would do that and he would push me away. I would gently "please don't do that, but I'll leave you alone, and I'll be here if you need me." I would lay down with him until he was ready to talk to me bc I don't want him to be a pushover or think that his feelings don't matter. He has barely had tantrums ever since❤
I love your videos and parenting techniques! If I had kids I'd do the same techniques! It's not about yelling and getting angry at kids, it's about teaching them how to behave in a loving, nurturing manner!
So crying is 'not nice' / 'bad behaviour' to you? I watched the whole video and I agree that 'time out' can be a great tool. However, in the video, all you show was your son crying and you asked him, "are you ready to be nice?" Then you repeatedly said your son "chose to be not nice". I mean whatever bad behaviours that led to the crying were finished, he was just crying now. If he kept kicking or hitting or whatever, then yes he chose to be not nice and time out would be a great tool. But he was just crying. Perhaps you meant "let's calm our body down"?
Sadly that is the case although she tries hard to explain that she is accepting of their emotions but not their behaviour (especially in this video) but when someone watches her videos closely one can see that she clearly isn’t accepting of her child’s emotions and him crying means that he is ‘not nice’ and is ‘behaving badly’.
It depends of crying. If it just crying without doing tantrum just because being sad, it is ok. Crying/ screaming to put a pressure on parent to do the thing child wants is a different thing.
@@justines8160 I don’t know if you understand that a 2 year old cannot be manipulative in that way. He has zero capacity to put himself in somebody else’s shoes or have any empathy. He just acts out his emotions because his prefrontal cortex is underdeveloped. He has literally no control over his emotions yet. Of course it’s never too early to show children how to navigate our emotions and this can be done through connection and role modelling. Punishment has zero impact on the root cause of the behaviour. While it may work to stop the behaviour (because children are scared to lose connection with their caregiver), it carries zero teaching. This is the science of the BRAIN, not my opinion by the way.
@caterinas6863 the comment was regarding a mother not a child. Pls read with understanding. More over making a video when your child has a meltdown and tantrum for public to watch on internet is more of the issue than how she handles the child.
One parent to another, in 10-20 years, if you look back at these "lessons"- i hope you are compassionately accountable. Be kind and honest with yourselves folks. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
My children are adults now. In time I hope to become a grandma. That’s why your videos are appealing to me. I really enjoy them. I wish I had had you when my kids were little, but you probably were not even born yet😂
I can't remember if I ever gave a time out. When my todler had a tantrum I just let him be. He didn't hit or kick or throw things. He just threw himself on the ground, cruing very hard and I came sit beside him. To let him know I am there to help him when he is ready. While I quitely sat by him on the floor, he calmed down. He didn't have to apoligies, for having a tantrum, because mostly the tantrum is a reaction of feelings that makes him feel bad, or sad, or alone. I waited till he was ready to be comforted and I hold him in my arms, close to me as long as he needed to be. Its not that he chose to have a tantrum, he didn't like tantrum, but he just didn't know how to handle all these overwheming feelings and the tantrum was just something that happend to him. I just felt very sorry for him. Sometimes he wanted to talk about it and sometimes he didn't and I respected that.
It’s not about being “nice” per se. Didn’t you watch the video and hear what she said about using that word? Apparently not, you keep commenting the same things.
Thank you so much for your videos. I have a 20 year old, a 16 year old and now a 1 year old so it has been like starting all over again for me. I did some of these things with my 16 year old when she was a toddler and it made a world of difference for me, but remembering it all has been quite hard, and I am a visual learner so your videos are helping me immensly. Thank you so much.
Very many thanks Olivia. You are such a star, it’s amazing how you do all this with 7 children and the tone of your voice very calm but firm. Lots of love
Of course they do not want to be on their own... that's why it works, because it's painful punishment... Maybe effective If your goal is obedience, but harmful...
11:40 “He’s still trying to push me away, he’s still very upset” Have you considered that you’re training your child to push you away when he’s upset/distressed? You are literally showing and telling him that he’s not allowed to be around mom when he’s upset.
Ne ugy csinald, mint o! Ha nem tetszik neki a gyermek erzelemkifejezese, megragadja, tekergeti, odavagja szerencsetlen kisbabat, aki azt sem tudja, mi zajlik itt. Probal megfelelni az anyja kitoro duhrohamainak. A rossz viselkedest termeszetesen el kell magyarazni, miert rossz es azert bunti jar, illetve, azert jar a bunti! Es nem a szomorusagert!
But choosing "good behaviour" is so easy for some children (such as me) & by-pass my feelings & grow up a dissociated people-pleaser ! The initial explanation seemed brilliant - about giving the child a safe space to * feel * their feelings & learn to self-regulate .. but choosing 'nice' behaviour, being required to apologise & give a hug, that doesn't mean the feelings are felt or resolved etc. F** "nice"! And couldn't the place be called Time-in or the Calm place name, to avoid all the pre-conceptions. Other option is just to sit a metre away not talking or looking at him just being in the same space which would help him co-regulate. Glad the time out place is still part of things in the house. Maybe this works well for your kids because they are secure & it's a healthy family ~ & the terminology (eg nice) can have different understandings. Love to you all 🎉❤
Children can’t regulate their emotions ‘independently’ until they are 5/6. They aren’t wired that way. Their mom is the ‘safest’ place to regulate their emotions. This is using separation anxiety to manipulate out of convenience. A cop-out strategy for perfectly normal behavior for a toddler. What would be more helpful is this chick do some healing of her own childhood trauma.
@@janetyay242thank you for your comment! I thought something is wrong with me reading all these comments about “gentle parenting” while this is just manipulating
I’ve found that children can definitely learn these skills at a younger age. In fact, if you wait until they’re 5 or 6, they may have already developed habits that make it much harder to teach them those skills later on. Starting early can really make a difference!
@@livjowenseeing your children stop crying after a time-out doesn’t mean that they are self-regulating. So no, they haven’t learnt self-regulating skills. What they have learnt instead is how to stuff their emotions so they can be accepted by mom. Emotional self-regulation eventually happens by consistent co-regulation which can be done with let’s say time-in which isn’t just a different name for a time-out, but a process of attuning to the child and holding a safe space for them to feel their emotions and hence calm down. At that young age they need an adult/their parent/caregiver to hold that space for them, not to left by themselves.
@monicapower6049 What age do you anticipate my children will begin to exhibit negative effects from "stuffing their emotions"? Because at 12 years, I'm still not seeing any. Additionally, could you clarify how my video fails to "hold a safe space for them to feel their emotions and calm down"?
Hi Olivia, I have been following your content for a while. Do you have methods for older kids? I haven't used the time out method for my 10 and 6 year olds when they were younger. And I find that it's so much easier with my 3 year old since I started time outs much earlier with her.
Please check out Big Little Feelings. You will get suggestions from two ladies mamas to 2-3 kids each and they are child psychologists. I followed their method and my kid turned out to be an angel. I strongly recommend (I have no associations with them by the way).
I remember when my toddler nephews were having a fit, i just tell them to face the wall until they feel ok and when they are, they turn back around calm and composed. And then i ask if they're ok and they say they are and they go back to playing or doing whatever it is they were doing. After a while of doing this, when they were angry, they just faced the wall themselves saying they're angry, i just let them do it until they're ready to face us again. I didn't know then but i guess that's a form of time out too. It worked!
Yes tantrums are normal but i personally wouldn’t say “that they aren’t bad” Tantrums are foolish, fleshly, immature But its not righteous or good behavior to GOD Love this video 💜 i learned a similar method from Supernanny
God bless you for the breakdown. ❤🙏🏾 Anyone who still has a problem with this is on their own 😂 You really need to start adding this video as a related video to your shorts for new viewers. That way they understand what's going on and not spazz out in the comment section 😂🤭
Olivia I just saw your tiktok about your parenting journey with your kid at the wedding. Can you make a detailed video on what differences did you find between boys and girls(when tantrums start/finish, are tantrums different) and the process of introducing New parenting measures. I would also love to know do you have any "problems" with the school aged one (being naughty to other kids, them being targeted by bullying, preteen attitude? I think it would be very intersting to see how each child responds with their personalities, and revolution of your journey. Love your videos
I don’t have a child but here I am, hooked on your channel. Great job, mommah! Hopefully, there’ll be more videos with the older ones so we can see the results over time.
As I mentioned in the video, when my older kids need a moment, they take a few minutes in their room to calm down. For me, the violent, physical tantrums usually stop by around 3 to 4 years old as they learn how to self regulate by around 2 years
Still curious about when and why you would put a child in timeout. Have you tried asking them what they’re feeling like a certain emotion? Or do you find that just taking them straight to timeout is more effective in them being able to recognize their emotions?
The time-out method can be good. This, as shown, is not bad behavior but rather a teachable moment. You created a battle over something that the child does not understand. What he learned is compliance and pleasing mom. Not that a spoon goes in the garbage. This is control, not discipline. Her tone at the one minute was angry. I didn't use time out until 2-3 years old, only for defiance or bad behavior. I did use some reward as they grew. Once they are teens, you never know what to expect. All kids are unique as their situations are. This child is maybe under two?
Thanks for the video. But how do you know if they are throwing fit for a physical need? Sometimes kids could be ‘hangry’ right? And no matter how much you explain to them sometimes they calm down only when they had two pieces of food in their tummy. Is this something you start after making sure they know how to effectively communicate physical needs?
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
Hearing you use the word “train” reminds me of Proverbs 22:6. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Really? It reminds me of animals.
@@antigone4309 we are extremely conscious animals in a way :)
Very insightful mom... All good and hard working mom are good
@@cal1bae875I'm happy I still believe our children should be treated like humans that we love.
@@stephenabraham4928Insightful? She is massively ignorant of basic facts.
I find that all very 2001….tiny children need your love contact and communication the most when they are upset…not to be sent away
It does look like a punishment to me although she says it isn’t . I don’t agree that children that young can ‘choose good behaviour’
@@caterinas6863It obviously is a punishment, as she also threaten her kids with it. Using distance and disconnection as punishment is cruel and harmful.
And I think it is one thing to do it this way, which isn't right in my eyes, privat with your family, but filming the kids every time they are having tantrums and showing this to thousands of people,.teaching them this way, is another thing. Poor kids. Poor society. I don't know if she has any idea of how and in which age a child is capable to regulate emotions. Every parent should read at least one book about emotional development.
They don't need to be separated and be "nice" or whatever word U use. They need the parents to co-regulate and help them get through this. At least wehen they are this young....She's just teaching them to hide the feelings and be nice, if not U going to be punished by sitting alone in your time out zone. I don't agree with all of this. It makes me feel very sorry for the children.
(I'm German, I am working in kindergarten, hope my English is good to understand ;))
I'm 61 and have raised kids. Children should NEVER be banished or punished for having feelings. That sets people up for a lifetime of people pleasing and all sorts of codependent relationships. Children learn what their parents are living, not what parents are trying to teach or do through behavior techniques. If you want a peaceful loving, thoughtful child then be a peaceful, loving, thoughtful person yourself.
@@FallenAngelBrass what a nice comment
Do you realize that a huge part of the success of your time-out strategy is that you are providing a structure, with boundaries, that is giving River a means to make more sense of his world. I remember having a tantrum when I was less than 2 y/o. My mom left; my aunt was babysitting. I was in a crib, standing, and made a decision that I wanted my mother -- it became my raison d'etre and no force on earth could comfort or dissuade me from crying for mother. Being a young child is like being a speck of dust free-floating in a universe without any anchor point. Watching your videos brought home to me the utter relief a child feels when he or she is given something by which to orient himself, an anchor point, a set of boundaries that provide a welcome bit of predictability. Free-floating in space is at best confusing, and at worst, terrifying. I so enjoy your videos -- and your beautiful family.
That anchor point should be the parent for healthy regulation. This is punishing by isolation, and it's punishing crying, what is harmful, sick and cruel.
@@antigone4309 how is she punishing crying? She's literally asking them to go sit in one corner and cry as much as they want (get it out of your system) and when they are calmer, they can talk and understand themselves better. Mummy is calm, baby is calm and there's no yelling, cursing or slippers flying across the room.
What else is she punishing? And don't tell me this is just to regulate emotions. That is simply untrue. Toddlers regulate in a healthy way in connection. How can you not see it's a punishment? Especially as she also likes to threaten her children with it.
I sort of understand people considering it normal, I used to myself. But if you read into current research and listen to healthy instinct, it is absolutely not. Again, PROVEN to be harmful.
This is a horrible suppression of age appropriate emotional development.
@@UdegbunamChuksOf course it's a punishment, that's why she also threatens them with it.
Anybody who comments "he's too little to understand" is showing their lack of experience and comprehension of child development, regardless of how many children they've had. Children are absolute geniuses, and you limit their capacity for growth and maturing by viewing them as "unable". Children learn more in the first 5yrs of their life, then the entire rest of their life. They process more data in the first 6 months of their life than the first 5 yrs. They absolutely are able to comprehend expectations & consequences when given at their level, & with consistency. Moreover, they will be happier, more well adjusted, resilient children for having learned those skills as early as possible. Todays youth is proof enough that permissive parenting does not produce healthy results.
Actually, it’s you who doesn’t understand child development. Before the age of 3, kids are literally babies. Best thing for their development is to play with them, and provide good care. PLAYING is for learning, time outs don’t teach them anything at this age, because he is not developmentally ready to comprehend the concept of being nice. Toddlers are not social that way. Notice how she has to do it multiple times. Why? Because it doesn’t work. This kid literally doesn’t understand what he is expected to do. Notice, how toddlers don’t play with other children, they are DEVELOPMENTALLY not ready to be social at this age, and being ready for socializing is when a child can learn how to be nice, share, follow instructions, so on. So, she will spend a year “teaching him to regulate his emotions” and then he matures and stops the tantrums, and she is happy with her parental “success”. If she waited until he is 3 something, she would have to do it once, maybe twice.
I'm so glad I found your channel. My son is 3 and after a lot of parenting fails, and out of control behavior, I stumbled upon supernanny and Jo Frost. After taking her advice, my son is a totally different kid. Not only more well behaved, but more loving, trusting, communitave and affectionate. It looks like you follow the same methods so I'm happy to have found you!
I’m 68 years old and I was a spanker when my boys were kids, but I wish I’d known about this back then! I forward your shorts to my grandchildren that have children 💖
Olivia, you are an awesome Mom. I used the same technique with my children and grandchild. Everyone is all grown up now. My grand daughter who is 31 has told me numerous times I did an excellent job raising all of them. The reason being is that her mom raised her with the same technique. My feelings on children having a voice, but when they are being nice not throwing tantrums, is so vital for growing and maturing.
Wutanfälle sind so wichtig! Es gibt immer einen Grund, warum Kinder wütend oder aggressiv werden. Das muss man verstehen.
@FrauApfel85 Please have this comment translated to English so we may understand what you wrote. Thanks. Have a great day.
What is the tantrum in the first place? It an alarm that a need, most of the times emotions, needs to be take care of... we like adults still want to be seen, heard and accepted "good, bad and ugly"
It s soooo hard to "regulate" emotions by yourself as an adult much more as a child when he doesn’t even understand what it s that things what he is feeling... "either choose to be nice" later will be people pleaser just to not be let alone.. the things that you are nearby but not connecting with him, doesn't help but worse.. just my opinion. I am a mother too.. somehow i understand you, it s not easy peasy with 7 children.. but look far, think deep... love and blessings
Many children are no excuse at all...
I’m not sure time out can teach young children to regulate. I understand your logic and your right to do what you choose with your children but developmentally young children can co regulate not self regulate. Their brain can really only self regulate around 4-5 and beyond when the frontal cortex is more developed and their language skills have developed
Exactly. And self-regulation is actually learned BY co-regulation.
@@antigone4309 Do you think she is not aware of same repetitive opinion you all leave in the comments? People have a right to discipline their kids as they see fit
They don't learn to self regulate on their own. This is how their mom teaches them. Duh.
@@Patriarchywhistleblower well it’s one approach. But it also teaches them other things too.
@@tashanaivancevic1539 people are entitled to their opinions. I mean she puts her children on the internet and that’s what you open yourself up to. I actually quite like some of her techniques
Thanks Olivia, we appreciate your time in making these videos. You have a beautiful family, may God bless y'all.
Olivia I have to say I really love your videos, and you're doing a really good job. I'm 33 (going on 34) now, and I wish parenting in the 90s was anything even close how your connecting with your kids.
I don't have children yet and usually don't appreciate people putting their children in social media, but your videos are really informative and you handle your children with much love and care and respect. I like that. Especially that you go on their level and accept and respect their feelings. My parents didn't do that, there was very little respect and lots of talking down towards my sister and me and I always felt I wanted to take a different approach once I have kids. Thanks for showing me a way I like :)
This shows neither love nor care nor respect.
If you wanna mess up your children for good then follow this channel.
Olivia, I absolutely love that you explained this process. My son is not quite a toddler yet, but I'm already starting to see the temper tantrums occur. He is unable to verbally communicate what he needs right now (9mos), but when he gets a little older, I will definitely be trying the "time-out" method. Thank you so much for sharing!
I’m exhausted from all the talking…I agree with some of these comments. He’s a little little man , they cry because they are tired or hungry , not actively choosing not to be nice. I don’t know , something is off with parts of this. And the little man is always looking at the camera after the time out. It’s alittle creepy to watch feels alittle cold. Can’t totally explain.
Yes! Its controlling in a sheeps clothing.
The Child needs validation. Not to be told to "be nice"!
Anger is healthy! And SHOULD and NEED to be expressed for healthy development. THIS is how cluster B personality developes.
Absolutely concerning vibes. The coldness, no authentic empathy and connection.
@@antigone4309absolutely I feel a cold chilling vibe can’t explain. Something is off like mummy dearest
@@kellychapman8095 I completely agree. This woman, who appears to have no education in child development, believes she's an expert. I really feel for her children.
No they are not little men. He is a child with a profoundly undeveloped mind. A human being has a very long childhood. We do not become fully adult until roughly 25, only then is has our brain grown to it's fullest size, to the comprehension that an adult is capable of.
Your amazing I use to be a child carer and your setting boundaries and you explain why your setting boundaries. Children need boundaries and they appreciate it and they are better people for it.
I am so glad I followed you and seen your videos. I have a 4 year old boy who's behavior has gotten so worse from screaming and yelling at me and his dad and some hitting .
This was great! I love how you provided step by step examples. It’s helped me change some elements of how I’ve been doing time out. My kid does better when he gets some space for sure but I like how you did that while still keeping him close.
When my kids were small I was sick for a long time. I wasn't able to be the mother I wanted to be, couldn't give them the safety of bounderies.
The only thing I could give them was a whole lot of love and hugs and they felt save with me even while I was sick.
Now they are grown ups and they were reall nice, friendly and polite kids most of the time and they became very social and nice adults to be around with.
I'm so thankfull that they turned out to be such beautyfull persons.
And they know right from wrong, because they always felt in their hearts what was right and wrong, kind and unkind, good and bad. They chose the right things most of the time.
They told me I was a good mom, while I felt like a failure.
Why did they say that?
Because I was always there for them even though I was sick.
I forced myself to get out of bed every day for them.
I gave everything I could give, even if that wasn't much, finally it turned out to be enough.
I overloaded them with love and they knew whatever happened I would never put them down and never will.
Now that they are adults I get so much love back from them.
Kids are such a blessing when the are small and even more when they get older.
yep... Imagine you'd give them time out because they "had to be nice to you" instead... 😓
It must have been hard for you, I was ill the 2 past years and now that I am finally almost healed I don't know how I made it!!!
I love that your channel is successful. I saw so many comments from people who clearly dont have children. Lol Girlfriend, i pray God blesses your socks off.
Hi Olivia, I have concerns , not about the time out for actual bad behavior, but the choice of word. "Be nice or not nice" when he is crying, his way of communicating needs, he feels perhaps not understood. He was crying because he couldn't articulate what he wants. Sometimes he doesn't throw a tantrum and cries. He is being told he isn't nice when he cries, in a sense, some of the time. As he becomes older he will stuff down his wanting to cry feelings. If I am crying it's nice to hear something soothing and I know it's hard, give a hug, or something.
Every time he cries saying he isn't chosing good behavior with..him not being nice...he looks like he cries because he's being told he he's not being nice for crying. Look how eager he is to please you because you didn't like his crying.
I am not saying you shouldn't discipline, but note he doesn't have all the words to voice what he needs so he cries about it. It's okay to cry. It breaks my heart he might feel misunderstood...What can't I cry? Hopefully I explained without misunderstanding my meaning . If you weren't being mean and crying. How would you feel if someone told you you weren't being nice? I would protest too and do my best at attempting to explain.
My goodness thank you so much for this! I’ve only ever heard time out explained as a consequence…so this was refreshing to hear!
My son just turned two and we are going through it 😅 I am definitely going to try this method out for a while and see how he responds💕
Thanks Olivia. I am writing from India. Talking to your child, when he/she is screaming, folding up, is difficult for an average adult, as it requires tons of patience each time (the reason you see negative comments). I see most parents either bribe or scare them with something, to make them behave. And your wise words - "Be consistent", make it even more of a WORK, for the adult. If you got, even a shred of guilt, about your way of handling, then please let it wash away. This part of the world is admiring your way of handling the tantrums. More power to you.
I don't even have kids yet, but these videos are so inspiring and awesome to me. God has blessed you with so much wisdom, and you're a great mom.
About the “where is your smile?” You are teaching him that being happy is also a choice and part of being nice. Human beings are reflective animals. When we smile, others do too. It’s contagious and a way to pay it forward.
For those that are concerned with the word “nice,” you can use behavior specific language. For example, “I need you to sit here until you can play safely in the pool,” or “I need you to sit here until you can keep your hands to yourself while playing with your brother.”
Thanks for sharing your successes and tips, Olivia! I hope people can take what works for them, even if it’s not exactly the same as your steps. Unfortunately, it feels very divided on social media when I think most of us are in a gray area.
Permissive parenting is damaging (your skits are hilarious) and the structure you explained here falls under authoritative, which is the gold standard. Personally I’ve shifted more to logical consequences instead of a blanket time out technique, but time out can definitely be useful, especially with the little ones. Thanks!
I like the language you’ve suggested
@@kimberliana5111I’m glad it was helpful!
I love this! Thank you so much for your thoughtful input and kind words. I completely agree that everyone should use whatever language works best for their children. "Being nice" is just what resonates with me, but behavior-specific language is definitely a great option too. It’s all about finding what fits each child’s needs!
@@livjowen ❤️
@@livjowenBecause you believe that crying is not nice. You need to work on that. Get help!
I'm so grateful for this video, I've been so lost for months, searching for the best way to calm down my son's tantrums. I loved this video!, I'm going to put in practice right now! (Sorry for the English, I'm from Brazil 🇧🇷) I love your Chanel! God bless you! 😘😘
Hi Olivia, I just found your videos at a time that I am struggling with gentle parenting my kids. Thank you so very much for taking the time to share your experience with us. It's been 2 weeks since I've started implementing some of your principles in my own home and i am starting to see some long hoped for positive improvements for me and my children. Love from England ❤
Ur such a good mom I have 4 kids hopfully I can teach them tysm
Thank you so much! The thorough step by step explanation plus your examples in practice is so helpful. I know my family used "Time out" as a consequence so as kids we hated it and sometimes got into more trouble because of it...but this is a whole new way of looking at the practice and it makes so much more sense. Even as adults time away from conflict can help us cool off and respond more appropriately. It's awesome to see that kids can learn to do this before they can even speak!
I just watched quite a number of your shorts beside you made me feel nice and have joy, i havent seen such thing, God bless you all. Some people are just talented at some things, hope those works helps other moms, and so have healthy generations spiritually and emotionally and phisically and respectful and…
Dealing with an 18 month old little screaming tyrant as a mom of 3, and this is extremely helpful!!
I don’t have kids yet but I’ll definitely be coming back here to get some amazing advice whenever god blesses me with babies ❤ love the way you parent so amazing now and days it’s so disappointing to see how people parent their children they let the kids walk all over them they don’t take the time and don’t have patience to work with their children so I really commend you for the mom you are your children are going to be such an amazing part of society
As an adult I need from time to time a shoulder to cry on. Even more so do children. I am not saying kicking others is fine but never getting to cry in one’s mom’s arms should feel very lonely. Hopefully it’s not the case
This is a great technique to teach children how to calm down and regulate their behavior. When children are in a tantrum and flailing about, they are crying, unhappy, and out of control. This teaches them to calm down in that moment and later to talk about the issue when they are calm.
No, it does not. It teaches surpression. Healthy regulation at that age is learned in connection.
My children never really needed time out. They hardly ever had any tantrums. Maybe because I knew what they needed on a emotional level and I gave them the hugs and the understanding, the attention they needed, at the same time still respecting my education and bounderies, and it would just not ever come to a tantrum. Tantrums many times come out of being exhausted and the child is just really tired or because they lack something. So it's still you! You have to change something.
Your videos popped up on my suggestion page and I am so glad. I have been following you for some weeks and I think you are such an inspiration. Just watching your patience has helped me be patient in stressful situations with my kids. Thank you!
I think it also might just help calm yourself in general. It often helps ME be patient with myself and to relax. Some of her methods are probably the most relaxing thing I've tried in a long time. It's amazing!
@@brynne77 she's simply amazing!
Thank you for the kind words and the support! ❤️
Thank you for teaching the younger generation!!
Amazing method, Olivia! I love it. The whole point is to help the child to learn how to take control of his emotions, not the emotions take control of him, and then be ABLE to verbalize his need. For those leaving negative comments, listen closer to what she is saying. She is empowering her children and reminding them all the while that they are loved and supported throughout this growing process. This is a wonderful method that will help your children be stable, communicative adults in the future. Learning how to take personal time to calm oneself so the emotions don't control the situation is a huge sign of maturity and stable mental health. ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!! BRAVA, Olivia. ❤
Thank you so much for your kind words! I truly appreciate your understanding of the method and how it empowers children to manage their emotions. It means a lot to hear that I am not alone❤️
@@livjowen Hi Liv. The negative comments are exhausting, especially when they’re from the same person over and over again. They truly don’t seem to get it nor do they seem like they even want to regardless of watching this video clearly explaining it isn’t punishment, you’re literally right there and the behavior that started it isn’t really the crying itself. They still don’t understand what nice means in this context and that they can use whatever word they want. No, they prefer to compare you to Ruby Franke which is absurd and thoroughly insulting (and laughable). I love the techniques you use. The grace you display despite the haters is admirable. 💙
Everybody sometimes need a time out. Even we as adults or as parents. Its good to learn them at such young age.
I was never learnt by my parents to have a time out, so I only learned it by myself when I was already an adult and a mom myself.
No. Connection and co-regulation at that age is what teaches healthy self-regulation.
This mom is a genius. She is teaching her children how to "self-regulate," and THAT is healthy and it's what we need more of in society!!!
No. Toddlers learn healthy regulation in connection. Unfortunaly this woman is lacking the emotional capacity to be there for her kids.
I am a professional clinical counselor and specialized working with kids. It is an amazing representation of timeout tool! LOVE LOVE LOVE
I’m reaching out as a PhD with two master’s degrees-one in psychology and the other in education-to share some thoughts on your most recent video showcasing, again, the timeout method. This feedback is shared with respect for the work and care you put into raising your children.
The timeout method, especially when you ask, “Are you ready to be nice?” can make children feel as if they’re being labeled as mean or not good whenever they express frustration or anger.
This approach goes in strict contradiction to your comments about how you, as an adult, would often like your husband "to send you to timeout," stating how when you are in a bad mood or angry, you need time to cool down. However, you are not implying that you yourself are not being nice, correct?
The opposite of “nice” implies “bad” or “mean,” which may unintentionally send the message that certain emotions are unacceptable and, by extension, they are “bad” for feeling them. Children are inherently GOOD and are still learning to navigate their emotions, and approaches labeling them otherwise can affect their self-esteem and sense of worth.
You yourself say, “As we know, having emotions and having feelings is not a bad thing,” and yet when you tell your child, “Are you ready to be nice?” you are clearly implying their emotions are, in fact, a bad thing. I hope you can see this contradiction. It’s a very small adjustment in your wording, to make a significant difference.
Here are some alternative approaches to consider:
Acknowledge their feelings: Rather than labeling behavior as “bad,” try recognizing what they’re experiencing. For instance, “I can see you’re feeling frustrated, and that’s okay,” can help them understand that it’s normal to have difficult feelings.
Give choices to foster agency: Offering them a choice-such as “Would you like to take a break or try again later?”-can empower them to feel some control over their actions and reduce feelings of frustration or powerlessness.
Avoid power struggles by validating their perspective: Pausing to hear their thoughts before enforcing a rule can help build connection and reduce resentment.
Model self-regulation: Saying, “I’m feeling a bit frustrated myself, so I’ll take a deep breath before we continue,” teaches them a healthy way to handle strong feelings.
In another video, Thanksgiving Prep Live (minute 32:03), your eldest daughter comments, “We have to, like, agree to everything Mom says; we’re like, ‘aha, aha, aha aha.’” This statement, along with a moment when you introduced Christmas music as “we have to listen to such music, right?” may reflect a sense of frustration or a lack of agency. Over time, always going along with what you say without feeling heard can build resentment.
You also say, “If my husband sent me to timeout when I was feeling angry or frustrated I would say thank you.” But let me ask you this: Would you feel the same way if he told you, “You go on timeout until you’re ready to be nice”? Would you feel the same? And that’s exactly what you’re doing to your children.
These observations are shared only with positive intentions, and I hope they might provide ideas for nurturing both connection and a healthy sense of agency in your children.
Thank you for considering this feedback, and please feel free to reach out if you’d like to discuss further.
@tationutube Thank you for the feedback 😊
@@tationutube he is totally still a baby and my heart breaks when he is crying and gets taken away to sit alone instead of being comforted , how is crying “ not being nice “ …
Maybe you should get some additional training if you support something that is proven to be harmful...
@livjowen
I don't understand all the backlash saying you're isolating your baby one he's not a baby and two he's not being isolated considering you're right there in his presence and you can clearly see each other.. Some of these parents will have a world of trouble with their kids when they're older.
Love your videos and your parenting skills. I've raised seven children myself and they're all very loving and respectful young adults. Keep up the great work mom
I can see that God has truly blessed you and your family!! You're beautiful inside and out, Olivia, you have a beautiful home, beautiful smart kids and a super supportive husband! So kuddos to you too Dad! No one is perfect for sure, but you all are definitely a wonderful family deserving of your successes.
I'm a mom of 3. Boys who are 16, 11, and 3. I didn't know what I was doing with the first two, so I was sadly inconsistent. However, they have turned out to be very successful happy kids at home and in school.
I was never taught to self-regulate as a child, or given a safe outlet, nor love and acceptance of my emotions the way you give your kids!
I'm so happy and impressed with you. Thank you so much for sharing this. I teared up at watching the success after all that training!!! I actually cried because it was such a beautiful thing to watch!!! I giggled at River getting up many times at first cause I can relate.
I am not as patient as you, so that is my daily struggle, and I pray every day to be more patient. For those reading, please please keep me in your prayers, so I can raise healthy kids with my husband, so they grow up better than I did, knowing that their feelings are safe and there's an appropriate way to display them, as well as that it's ok to calm down first!! I want my kids to grow up confident of themselves, unlike myself.
May God continue to bless you and your family, Olivia, and everyone reading this!!
(Also, apologies if I missed this, and I hope you don't mind me asking, but I wonder, did your parents raise you the same as you raise your kids?)
Everyone downing her for doing something that not only benefits her children but also works for her family really need to dig deep and ask yourself why its bothering you so bad because this is such a wonderful way to teach your children to process their feelings and cslm down. Most parents punish and move on, this is such a great alternative!
I’m confused, was he just tired? because he grabbed a pillow and a blanket. I’m not sure how a 1-year old can reflect on his behavior. The brain of a 1-year old can not process it…
I felt so sorry when he tried to self soothe by taking the blanket and the pillow
I grew up without the concept or even a phrase “time out”. So sad to see this, he is so little and doesn’t know what’s going on 😢
Have you raised any children? I have a 10month old who impresses me daily with his cognitive abilities. A minute ago he crawled to me and screamed at me to pick him up. I looked at him, said, "no. Don't scream. Say Mama." He calmed began repeating mama and I picked him up. He doesn't usually say mama, so it's not a coincidence that he decided to imitate it
@ yes I am currently raising a child. I see your point that children are very smart and understand a lot. But I don’t understand your example and at 10 months old if my baby would scream I would pick them up immediately and kissed and hugged them. What are you trying to teach a 10 month old by telling him that he needs not to scream and be a good behaved child otherwise
mom doesn’t love him?
He is too little to understand “Do you want to be nice?” He is too little full stop. I’ve done the same as you before. But to be honest when I view it, I see you separating yourself from your child. And it IS a punishment for a child so small. He is too little to understand. His self regulation needs his mother to be present. Not being separated. The Do you want to be nice? Question is kind of ridiculous. It denotes. He isn’t being nice. It’s way too suggestive. They can’t make a choice at that moment as you mentioned, their brain has rewired. A little bub this age can’t CHOOSE behaviour. It’s simply not possible. So your theory contradicts itself.
Especially as he wasn't even "not nice", he is crying! The emotion is ok but the behaviour is not? Crying IS a completely appropriate behaviour to process emotions!
Hey so please watch the full video! Especially the first part lol. she explains it.
@@lukaroselies8151I watched it but I find it contradictory
@@lukaroselies8151She tries and makes absolutly no sense.
Sorry, you get no "like" for your view of the truth. I totally agree with U. I feel so uncomfortable watching this little boy crying and always be put back in "time out" instead of being there for him and getting through this togethe. I would like to be there for him. It's so sad 😢 she's just manipulating her children. Did she ever hear about conditioning? That's what she's doing.
How can she go viral with this? Just because she's a mom of seven doesn't mean she is an expert in parenting.
What do you mean when you say your kid isn't "being nice" or showing "good behavior?" Are they hurting other people or damaging things? Or do you just mean they're crying? If it's the latter, then that worries me because crying is a very natural reaction! Especially for kids that age who can't express their needs using words yet.
In this context not being nice means being in an emotional state that is unhelpful to them because their thinking and communicating brain isn't accessible until they have calmed down. Yes, that's completely age appropriate, but what a great idea to not just wait for them to grow older and more capable, but instead coach them and show them what works to help you cope and come down from big emotions and discover at this young age that wow it is possible to get calm and then communicate. This is so so great.
When I talk about my child not "being nice" or showing "good behavior," I’m referring to their actions, not their emotions. Behaviors like hitting, throwing things, or screaming at me are examples of what I consider not good behavior.
Did you watch this whole video? She explains really well.
@@livjowen thanks for clarifying!
@@calamitypip1066if it’s just crying and not hearting others, the most helpful thing is to give the child a hug
Hi Olivia, i really appreciate what you were doing to your kids, THE TIME OUT and others thinks but in my opinion i think you should let them cry in your shoulders sometimes, i mean when we as a grownman when we feel sad we need someone else to share this feeling with us for Ex: Couple, when the girlfriend cry in shoulders of her boyfriend. And a lot of others exemple when someone is dead... i mean you should add this one in you next pratice. This is just an advice otherwise you really doing good as a mother and i'm so proud of you. Keep continue ! Love u all GOD BLESS YOU🙏 i'm chadian 🇹🇩 who live in morrocco Marrakech 🇲🇦 Good bye😊🖐
Yes i can understand time out..but at 1 year old...what have he done?..just for crying he got timeout?
Time out punishes bad behaviour, something doing wrong, and absolutely do not punishes emotions. What can do wrong an one year old baby? Who is wrong, very wrong here is the mother! I was in tear how she rudely grabbed, twisted and forced the poor baby's body! Nobody can see it? Really?
I love the long form videos from you! Love your channel ❤ this was very helpful ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you! I'm so glad 😊
@@livjowen hi Olivia! I have a question. What would your response be to behavior that still has consequences even if they say they're ready to be nice? Would punishment in any way take place at all, to let them know that you can't just behave in any way and then say you're ready to be nice, without having/facing any consequences for the behavior? Love your videos girl❤
Hi Brooke! That’s a great question, and the answer really depends on the child's age and their ability to listen and communicate.
For example, recently River, who is almost 2 years old, bit Hudson on the arm quite badly. Since that behavior isn’t nice, I removed him from the situation and went through the time-out process with him. To help him understand, I brought Hudson into the equation and showed River how much he had hurt his brother. I pointed out the marks and explained how it hurts and makes Hudson cry. At this age, River is still learning; he isn’t choosing to be mean out of malice-he’s very much in the process of developing his understanding of empathy. I find that taking the extra step to point out the behavior really helps in avoiding it in the future.
On the other hand, when Hudson, who is 3 and a half, hits River on the head with a toy, I also follow the time-out process (which takes place in his room). Afterward, I apply a "consequence" for his actions, which could be:
- Sitting on his bed during playtime instead of playing with his toys.
- Losing screen time (if there was any planned for that day).
- Not getting ice cream after lunch.
I make sure to clearly explain it to him as well: "You can’t play with your toys right now because you hurt River, and that’s not okay," or "You can’t watch TV during naptime because you hurt River, and that’s not okay," or "You don't get ice cream after lunch because you hurt River, and that’s not okay." Whatever makes sense for you at the time.
This way, he understands the connection between his actions and the consequences. I’ve noticed that when one of those "nice" or "fun" things is removed, he remembers it better. The next time he has ice cream, it often triggers his memory, and he’ll exclaim something like, "Mom, I didn't hit River, and now I have ice cream!" To which I always praise him for making the right choice.
@@livjowen Thank you so much for responding back!! This answer helps so much🥰
So much patience...that by itself is a huge lesson for parents
Patience patience more patience.❤
The MOST important thing is to be consistent AND for mom to stay CALM and as loving as possible.
This mom is not calm! She is full with anger! You can see it on child's reaction!
O:
What I love is the respect and unconditional love you show to your children.
That is not unconditional love it’s her ego wake up people
I don't understand what does "ready to be nice" mean if a child is crying. This is crying not a tantrum. I always calmed my children by hugging them, talking to them....
I'm sure her son will feel comfortable showing genuine emotion when he grows up and won't repress sadness and become an angry, invalidated person at all.
I totally agree! Your also teaching self control and learning to re think decisions
Time out is great.. we need time out too😂😂
You parenting methods are freaking amazing 🥰🙏🏻♥️
In 10 minutes of the video. When my son would do that and he would push me away. I would gently "please don't do that, but I'll leave you alone, and I'll be here if you need me." I would lay down with him until he was ready to talk to me bc I don't want him to be a pushover or think that his feelings don't matter. He has barely had tantrums ever since❤
I lke your approach, strict but loving at the same time. Nowadays most people fo not correct their children as they should. 😀
I love your videos and parenting techniques! If I had kids I'd do the same techniques! It's not about yelling and getting angry at kids, it's about teaching them how to behave in a loving, nurturing manner!
So crying is 'not nice' / 'bad behaviour' to you? I watched the whole video and I agree that 'time out' can be a great tool. However, in the video, all you show was your son crying and you asked him, "are you ready to be nice?" Then you repeatedly said your son "chose to be not nice". I mean whatever bad behaviours that led to the crying were finished, he was just crying now. If he kept kicking or hitting or whatever, then yes he chose to be not nice and time out would be a great tool. But he was just crying. Perhaps you meant "let's calm our body down"?
Sadly that is the case although she tries hard to explain that she is accepting of their emotions but not their behaviour (especially in this video) but when someone watches her videos closely one can see that she clearly isn’t accepting of her child’s emotions and him crying means that he is ‘not nice’ and is ‘behaving badly’.
@@monicapower6049exactly.. how is the child going to understand that the emotion of being said is okay but the behaviour of crying isn’t ??
It depends of crying. If it just crying without doing tantrum just because being sad, it is ok. Crying/ screaming to put a pressure on parent to do the thing child wants is a different thing.
@@justines8160 I don’t know if you understand that a 2 year old cannot be manipulative in that way. He has zero capacity to put himself in somebody else’s shoes or have any empathy. He just acts out his emotions because his prefrontal cortex is underdeveloped. He has literally no control over his emotions yet. Of course it’s never too early to show children how to navigate our emotions and this can be done through connection and role modelling. Punishment has zero impact on the root cause of the behaviour. While it may work to stop the behaviour (because children are scared to lose connection with their caregiver), it carries zero teaching.
This is the science of the BRAIN, not my opinion by the way.
@caterinas6863 the comment was regarding a mother not a child. Pls read with understanding. More over making a video when your child has a meltdown and tantrum for public to watch on internet is more of the issue than how she handles the child.
One parent to another, in 10-20 years, if you look back at these "lessons"- i hope you are compassionately accountable. Be kind and honest with yourselves folks.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I looooooove it ❤❤
Can you show how you do it with the older ones .. god bliss you and your beautiful family ❤❤❤
My children are adults now. In time I hope to become a grandma. That’s why your videos are appealing to me. I really enjoy them. I wish I had had you when my kids were little, but you probably were not even born yet😂
You have literally saved me ! You are seriously the best ❤
What should I do when my 2 almost 3 yr old little boy hits and kicks??
You are amazing! Thank you so much for your lovely videos! I have learnt a lot from you! I always look forward for your videos!❤
I can't remember if I ever gave a time out.
When my todler had a tantrum I just let him be. He didn't hit or kick or throw things. He just threw himself on the ground, cruing very hard and I came sit beside him.
To let him know I am there to help him when he is ready.
While I quitely sat by him on the floor, he calmed down.
He didn't have to apoligies, for having a tantrum, because mostly the tantrum is a reaction of feelings that makes him feel bad, or sad, or alone.
I waited till he was ready to be comforted and I hold him in my arms, close to me as long as he needed to be.
Its not that he chose to have a tantrum, he didn't like tantrum, but he just didn't know how to handle all these overwheming feelings and the tantrum was just something that happend to him.
I just felt very sorry for him.
Sometimes he wanted to talk about it and sometimes he didn't and I respected that.
I don’t think a toddler has a ‘choice’ to be nice. Scary when you say he is actively choosing not to be nice. He is crying !
@@caterinas6863 because he isn’t getting his way and he already knows that
Ur seriously still mad about her not “parenting” correctly at least she puts her kids in timeout like normal moms
It’s not about being “nice” per se. Didn’t you watch the video and hear what she said about using that word?
Apparently not, you keep commenting the same things.
Thank you so much for your videos. I have a 20 year old, a 16 year old and now a 1 year old so it has been like starting all over again for me. I did some of these things with my 16 year old when she was a toddler and it made a world of difference for me, but remembering it all has been quite hard, and I am a visual learner so your videos are helping me immensly. Thank you so much.
Maybe try to stay away from cruel and harmful methods and raise your child peacefully and respectfully?
And what does that mean exactly? Like what do you mean by that?
Very many thanks Olivia. You are such a star, it’s amazing how you do all this with 7 children and the tone of your voice very calm but firm. Lots of love
Olivia, you did a wonderful job explaining things! Hope some parents take something from this video.
But what if they don’t want to be on their own? And say sorry for what? He was crying
He has no idea why he’s saying sorry
@ exactly!
Of course they do not want to be on their own... that's why it works, because it's painful punishment... Maybe effective If your goal is obedience, but harmful...
11:40 “He’s still trying to push me away, he’s still very upset”
Have you considered that you’re training your child to push you away when he’s upset/distressed? You are literally showing and telling him that he’s not allowed to be around mom when he’s upset.
Da quando ti seguo mi sento anche io più calma e vorrei fare con I miei bambini come fai tu. Grazie questo video è stato davvero prezioso
Ne ugy csinald, mint o! Ha nem tetszik neki a gyermek erzelemkifejezese, megragadja, tekergeti, odavagja szerencsetlen kisbabat, aki azt sem tudja, mi zajlik itt. Probal megfelelni az anyja kitoro duhrohamainak. A rossz viselkedest termeszetesen el kell magyarazni, miert rossz es azert bunti jar, illetve, azert jar a bunti! Es nem a szomorusagert!
Qué paciencia por Dios!! Admirable
Watching your parent your children is so healing ❤ thank you for sharing this with us
Well done ,amazing what you managed to do.
But choosing "good behaviour" is so easy for some children (such as me) & by-pass my feelings & grow up a dissociated people-pleaser !
The initial explanation seemed brilliant - about giving the child a safe space to * feel * their feelings & learn to self-regulate .. but choosing 'nice' behaviour, being required to apologise & give a hug, that doesn't mean the feelings are felt or resolved etc.
F** "nice"!
And couldn't the place be called Time-in or the Calm place name, to avoid all the pre-conceptions. Other option is just to sit a metre away not talking or looking at him just being in the same space which would help him co-regulate.
Glad the time out place is still part of things in the house.
Maybe this works well for your kids because they are secure & it's a healthy family ~ & the terminology (eg nice) can have different understandings.
Love to you all 🎉❤
Children can’t regulate their emotions ‘independently’ until they are 5/6.
They aren’t wired that way.
Their mom is the ‘safest’ place to regulate their emotions.
This is using separation anxiety to manipulate out of convenience. A cop-out strategy for perfectly normal behavior for a toddler. What would be more helpful is this chick do some healing of her own childhood trauma.
@@janetyay242thank you for your comment! I thought something is wrong with me reading all these comments about “gentle parenting” while this is just manipulating
I’ve found that children can definitely learn these skills at a younger age. In fact, if you wait until they’re 5 or 6, they may have already developed habits that make it much harder to teach them those skills later on. Starting early can really make a difference!
@@livjowenseeing your children stop crying after a time-out doesn’t mean that they are self-regulating. So no, they haven’t learnt self-regulating skills. What they have learnt instead is how to stuff their emotions so they can be accepted by mom. Emotional self-regulation eventually happens by consistent co-regulation which can be done with let’s say time-in which isn’t just a different name for a time-out, but a process of attuning to the child and holding a safe space for them to feel their emotions and hence calm down. At that young age they need an adult/their parent/caregiver to hold that space for them, not to left by themselves.
@monicapower6049 What age do you anticipate my children will begin to exhibit negative effects from "stuffing their emotions"? Because at 12 years, I'm still not seeing any. Additionally, could you clarify how my video fails to "hold a safe space for them to feel their emotions and calm down"?
Hi Olivia, I have been following your content for a while. Do you have methods for older kids? I haven't used the time out method for my 10 and 6 year olds when they were younger. And I find that it's so much easier with my 3 year old since I started time outs much earlier with her.
I’d love more tips on helping older kids too! I have one child with hyperactive ADHD and the meltdowns can be rough 😅
@@kara_the_amazonPlease consult an expert and not this person. 🙏🏻
Please check out Big Little Feelings. You will get suggestions from two ladies mamas to 2-3 kids each and they are child psychologists. I followed their method and my kid turned out to be an angel. I strongly recommend (I have no associations with them by the way).
The best Mom ❤❤❤
I remember when my toddler nephews were having a fit, i just tell them to face the wall until they feel ok and when they are, they turn back around calm and composed. And then i ask if they're ok and they say they are and they go back to playing or doing whatever it is they were doing. After a while of doing this, when they were angry, they just faced the wall themselves saying they're angry, i just let them do it until they're ready to face us again. I didn't know then but i guess that's a form of time out too. It worked!
What an amazing mom you are 💪🏻👏🏻🙂
Yes tantrums are normal but i personally wouldn’t say “that they aren’t bad”
Tantrums are foolish, fleshly, immature
But its not righteous or good behavior to GOD
Love this video 💜 i learned a similar method from Supernanny
God bless you for the breakdown. ❤🙏🏾 Anyone who still has a problem with this is on their own 😂
You really need to start adding this video as a related video to your shorts for new viewers. That way they understand what's going on and not spazz out in the comment section 😂🤭
Your son didn't even do anything wrong he's a toddler and you're acting like he did something major wrong
It’s called training. Train children in a young age and it will be easier in the long run.
@@inspirationoverload3train your child not to express his feelings
He was overwhelmed and tired. Just needed hugs and feeling his mom close to him and he would have fallen asleep
Olivia I just saw your tiktok about your parenting journey with your kid at the wedding. Can you make a detailed video on what differences did you find between boys and girls(when tantrums start/finish, are tantrums different) and the process of introducing New parenting measures. I would also love to know do you have any "problems" with the school aged one (being naughty to other kids, them being targeted by bullying, preteen attitude? I think it would be very intersting to see how each child responds with their personalities, and revolution of your journey. Love your videos
I just found your channel & subscribed. The short of how you dealt with.your son’s tantrum regarding Spider-Man showed up on my recommendations.
How about giving word to your older children to tell how they feel/ felt about this timeout concept?
Nice idea, but I'm very sure these children learn to never question, let alone criticise their mother...
I don’t have a child but here I am, hooked on your channel. Great job, mommah! Hopefully, there’ll be more videos with the older ones so we can see the results over time.
Loved this. Thank you. What do you do with older kids (4-6 year olds)?
As I mentioned in the video, when my older kids need a moment, they take a few minutes in their room to calm down. For me, the violent, physical tantrums usually stop by around 3 to 4 years old as they learn how to self regulate by around 2 years
Still curious about when and why you would put a child in timeout. Have you tried asking them what they’re feeling like a certain emotion? Or do you find that just taking them straight to timeout is more effective in them being able to recognize their emotions?
Gave my child a time out once.. Best 18 years of my life
Realmente bravissima. E video davvero istruttivi, pratici e amorevoli. Una meraviglia il rapporto madri -bimbi. Grazie from Italy👏👏👏🙏🌄🤗
The time-out method can be good. This, as shown, is not bad behavior but rather a teachable moment. You created a battle over something that the child does not understand. What he learned is compliance and pleasing mom. Not that a spoon goes in the garbage. This is control, not discipline. Her tone at the one minute was angry. I didn't use time out until 2-3 years old, only for defiance or bad behavior. I did use some reward as they grew. Once they are teens, you never know what to expect. All kids are unique as their situations are. This child is maybe under two?
You look fabulous for a mom of 7!!
Thanks for the video. But how do you know if they are throwing fit for a physical need? Sometimes kids could be ‘hangry’ right? And no matter how much you explain to them sometimes they calm down only when they had two pieces of food in their tummy. Is this something you start after making sure they know how to effectively communicate physical needs?
Keep up the good work!! 🙌
Can I ask you about the daily chore checker app in another video of yours? What is the app?Is it free? What did you use to display it?
Loved this video!❤
I’d love to hear how you would do this method with an older child, 8-10yrs old, for the first time.