I was watching this video and my 10 year old came and started watching with me. After awhile i paused and asked him what he thought. He said it made sense. As soon as the video was over he goes “well let’s get started.” I think I’ll have my other kids watch it too.
First child : had Lovevery. I obsessed over the play guide and timeline of it all Second baby: bopping around the floor with a comb and a rain boot for half hour
@@ChristineCraythorne you send the people home with the junk they bought and they start to catch on how serious you are tell them that your kid could play with it at there house next time your over
Ask them to give a gift receipt and then exchange it for diapers you need. In laws burden us with the toys. I have barely bought any for our son. He has so many though that other people bought him. One triumph was getting to return an obnoxious FP “playhouse” set with 80 sounds, phrases and lighting up including a toilet flushing. I said no and my husband agreed and we got to take that back and use the money for diapers all he needed.
One set of grandparents love to bring SUITCASES full of toys and clothes every single time they come over. Our little apartment is overwhelmed and they don't listen to our Please, NO MORE.
I decided this; I've told them over and over so if I donate it right after, or a week later, then I will because I tell them at every holiday and birthday.
I was a kid whose parents randomly (not systematically) got rid of things they thought I wasn't using anymore, and they made some BAD mistakes. I started hiding things I loved but didn't fit my age anymore. To be clear, I fully support the process outlined above, but do NOT think you are doing your children any favors by making it a slow and continual process - especially if those kids are older. Set a new standard and stick to it. If there is a pattern of continually "stealing" your children's toys, over the years, it can really shatter trust.
I think age is relevant here. Her kids are very young. I feel like if you have memories of hiding toys you were probably older when your parents declutterred your toys.
That's understandable. Stealing is never ok even if its a child. From the age of 4 I taught my daughter that letting go of things we don't play with is a good thing and by donating them we can give them to other children. Or by selling them we can save money for something else, like a day at the arcade or save up for a scooter. Obviously we cover most of the cost but it can teach the importance of saving money at the same time. I only donate toys that my kids approve of. Sometimes I ask them to pick toys to donate or I'll come to them asking if they are OK to donate a specific thing. I keep a box by the stares that is always for donated items and one day I found my daughter who is 8 now, putting some books in it. I didn't even question her, she knew what the box is for and wanted to let something go, I was so proud of her.
@megana5658 I agree. I think they must have started when I was young, but then continued too long. I also continued to play with a broad range of my toys much longer than many children, I think (well into high school), so I wasn't really ... aging out of things at the expected rate. I don't think most kids would have noticed.
This is important. There’s no way I can get rid of my 6yo son’s toys; he has a mind like a steel trap and, like me at that age, many of his toys have deep backstories and personalities in his imagination. Yes, there are too many toys, but this is such a short time in our life. He will be grown and the clutter gone before we know it. Until then I watch and enjoy, and occasionally shove it all into a box for him to rediscover months later :)
I’ve been a nanny for many families and I think if parents implemented this system it would dramatically transform not only their children’s play but the whole atmosphere of the household and the behavior of both the children and parents. We are all so much more overstimulated than we realize.
Hi! Saw this comment and I know this is super random, I’m curious if you’re still nannying and/or have any connections in Florida that you would recommend :)
I have to laugh…I’m a 56 year old mother of a 23 year old daughter who saw the empty box our new treadmill came in and climbed right in. She was so excited to have a box seven feet long that she could lie down in. She is a teacher and hasn’t lost that sense of play.
I have six children (27-14) and I wasted so many years dealing with toy messes until I finally figured out how needless they were and got rid of almost all of them. My children were nothing but relieved. They didn’t like cleaning them up anymore than I did! When I stopped taking piles of toys in the car my daughters started playing “foot babies”. It was adorable. 😅 Children are so much smarter and more creative than we can even comprehend. The danger is in doing this for your children with some idea of it being better for them, making them smarter or more creative. It isn’t and it won’t. They might thank you for it or they might not. Do it because it feels good to you and for no other reason. Your children are responsible for figuring out their own feelings and their own future.
Same.. Even though our house is full of toys the best moments of the day are outside. They actually have very little interest in their toys. Now I dread birthday parties and Christmas where we will end up with even more toys! Though I do recall Christmas as a child where receiving gifts was so exciting, so I guess that is the highlight of receiving even more toys they will likely lose interest in quickly.
That's not especially a comment on minimalism-- there are tons of intervening variables there, including novelty, change, sensory input from smells and the breeze, the stimulation of bright light, normalizing circadian rhythms, soothing hormones put out by trees, the way we're wired to like the color green...
I had wanted to organize my 5-year-old daughter's toys for a while. When I saw your video, I started right away. Took me 2 hours to pack everything up in the end, but now it's in 3 trash bags, hidden in her closet. When she came home she looked at her shelves and THANKED me. She did ask for one specific toy but was ok when I told her we were taking a break from some toys and could get it back later. I'll keep everything for a few more months and then donate what she doesn't ask for. All that to say, the space looks so much cleaner and more inviting and we are both thrilled. Thank you!
@@papertownhome update a few months later: I donated everything I had packed up and she didn’t even notice. Thank you for giving me the courage to be radical.
this was quite literally an answer to prayer. My children unpack the toys and don’t even play with them! Nothing except for the magnitiles or blocks! Been praying about simplifying our lives but just didn’t know how far to go… Really felt like you were speaking my language. So appreciate your approach- so solid.
After 8 years of parenting my theory is that toys are made for buying. That is their purpose to be purchased. But when I try and talk about my theory peope look at me like I have 2 heads lol. The other thing I think toys provide is a common play script, so at the library my kids will play with new kids with toys that they ignore in our home.
This is SUCH A GOOD POINT! When I was reading about the history of play in Colonial America, I learned that, historically, toys were owned by ADULTS! They would own blocks and figurines and such. I was initially shocked and then thought, no that totally makes sense. I'm very drawn to toys as an adult. Historically, children made their own playthings from objects found in nature or around the house.
Oh my goodness yes I agree. Mine and my husband's parents are remarried and + great grand parents there's 10 grand parents and we are the only ones with kids. They are very spoiled on Christmas and birthdays because of this. My mother thank goodness listens to me when I say please don't get them more than 1 thing or nothing at all lol. Iv asked other grandparents to either just spend time with them or donate to their college fund, but if they insist on toys we have an Amazon wishlist the kids get to curate. My mom just renews a zoo pass every year and takes them to the zoo periodically.
I agree with the buying part. I’ve always tried to but one good solid won’t break easy type toys for Christmas, birthday & sometimes Easter. Been raising kids since 1993 and it really does seem a handful of good ones is much healthier, more enjoyable then an entire sea of stuff.
And here in the UK if the health visitor (which is the professional who does a home visit to check on your and baby once they’re born for up to two years) They raise no or little toys as red flags! I get there are situations where the child maybe neglected over all and that is one of the red flags. This is something I’ve contemplated for some time and amazingly, God put this on my feed without me having to search for it at all. ❤
I needed this video today! My 2 year old doesn't even play with the toys. He plays with our nugget couch and cars. I needed the permission to ditch the rest like I've been wanting to. Thankfully he's young enough he won't notice the drastic reduction of clutter.
This is how my son is, just obsessed with cars/trains. I keep wanting to downsize his toy collection both in and out of rotation, but I just keep thinking “how can I get rid of all this?!” I feel like I’m looking for permission to do it.
@@JonasBrosGirl You have permission! :) But, seriously, you just saw me unload hundreds of dollars of heirloom quality toys. You can do it! I've found that decluttering, though it involves a lot of facing disappointments from purchases that didn't work out, teaches us SO MUCH about how to forgive ourselves and learn from mistakes. I'm a wiser and more careful consumer today than I was four years ago.
@papertownhome decluttering the love every toys (I have a few toys and puzzles I got recently 2nd hand, never did a subscription thank fully) and I'm keeping the puzzled but letting go of the magical toys for diy versions to bond more and I deleted fb so I'd stop buying and selling things for awhile but I know it's in a bin in my shed just waiting. Should I try to wait and resell one day or donate? I donated almost anything I spent 50$ or under this year while decluttering and I spent that much or less on these but struggling to let go of them or the idea of them and we didn't even use them lol
@@feliciasuris2381This is so tough! I’ve found for me if I find someone who really needs something I need to get rid of it’s easier to let go of. For example I’ve passed lots of baby and maternity stuff on to my sister-in-law. I always ask if it’s something she could use. I also post things on my local Buy Nothing group and watch for people’s requests in the group as well. It really makes it easier to give things away.
Mom of 5. Legos, Duplos, Magnet Tiles, Matchbox, a barn and schleich animals, Sarahs Play Silks as our dress up, a nugget sofa thing, coloring stuff. Our Yoto players. Wooden blocks are available but notc used daily. My kids really love crafting so i give them access to paper, cardboard, scissors, tape etc. That's about it. Weve gone thru the various stages of kid clutter and toys has been where we've landed. And no battery toys ever! Books galore. Great video! Get the kids outside and let them play.
My kids are a bit older, but I've realized that they literally dump their toys simply to play with the box. They don't even want the toys! I've seen videos like this a million times, but your realization that kids don't even need the "learning" toys has really hit home. Thank you for this. I love it. Ps. Your kids climbing out the window into the rain is adorable. We should be friends. 😂
I had planned to be like this when I first became a parent! But my babe turned one recently and over the year, we have been gifted SO many toys we felt bad donating ... and of course I'm also guilty of buying educational toys too.. who wants their child to be uneducated! But now we have so much, my rotation shelf is packed, the display toy shelf is full, and babe's independent play isn't great. So thank you for this video - it was a welcome reminder of my initial values around toys.
I totally get feeling bad about donating toys. If you need some inspiration from someone with the same experience as you but 3 years further down the road.. We are very intentional with receiving gifts. We ask people to give gifts together like all the uncles gave my daughter a water table for outside. And we ask more practical things like new rainboots, umbrella, jammies, cap. Or something to do with the grandparents like going to the zoo. And last if people really want to give something small, I love colouring books, stickers or sketch paper. Depends of course if your child likes that, but it will disappear in time just by using it.
There is still a lot that needs to happen in mainstream culture
3 месяца назад+4
Oh, the gifting is a real struggle! I am appreciative, but then ... what to do with it all? We are certainly a culture of excess, and any attempt to say "no toys as presents, please" is met with disgust from family that just want to spoil them.
I admit that I approached this video with considerable scepticism, but was drawn in by your unideological and intelligent presentation. And halfway through I noticed that I have already done what you suggest. I have always tried to keep my son's toy selection simple, and it works. I had expected some radical minimalism, and instead what I got was a common sense approach that really validated me and eased my doubts about how I do things. Thank you!
I also noticed a lot of the toys in the video are not age appropriate. At some point they were probably challenging but the kids are over 4 already; the skills have been acquired for years.
This video may have changed my life. I did a massive purge, it took a couple days and I'm not sure if I'm done yet, but the difference in my home, kids, and self is palpable. Thank you! There is a lot of general decluttering left to take care of but this made a larger dent than I would have believed.
I have a 14 yo and can confirm she never cared when I would trim back her items. It really helped her enjoy what she had. Now she doesn't emphasize stuff in her life. She never has a holiday wishlist saying she has everything she needs, even when grandma asks for a list. She's an artist and as long as we always have art supplies and journals around she's a happy teen. Emphasizing time together with experiences like hikes, local theater performances, etc is helpful.
Thank you for this video! I unintentionally did a similar experiment. With this 4th pregnancy being harder the first few months, I ended up putting all of my toddlers toys away except for cars, magnatiles, kitchen supplies, craft supplies, and baby dolls/stuffed animals. They saw me packing them up to be put away and asked why. They were upset for maybe 2 seconds and then literally didn't care. About 2 months later and it's now easier to get them to clean up their toys, their imaginations have grown even more, and they play slightly better together. This video gave me the extra push I needed to officially get rid of the toys they don't truly need/care about.
Love this and been saying this for years. I'm an educator, Ive even tried to speak to administration about this and its dismissed or said "Kids need all the toys out for language development". We are the ones in the classroom who have to manage behaviors and support with routines such as cleaning. Now I can say, I'm happy to get out of the classroom now lol and no longer under that administration. Hope this catches on in a system that refuses to move forward but stays behind. Thank you for sharing this!
I just finished decluttering all of my toddlers toys and she only has a few out right now simply because I haven’t set up her play area yet… she’s been playing with what we have so deeply and for so long it’s been blowing my mind. I might get rid of even more.
Am I a mom in my 50s who has 6 grown children? Yes, I am. Did I watch every minute of this video? Yes I did. We didn’t have tons of toys because we did not see the need and grandparents couldn’t afford spoiling six. I was always amazed at watching my children, girls and boys, play with shoes as cars and reinvent other toys into something else. I was fascinated with how they played best together when they played like this. They still speak of these days and their play. My personal fondest memories were fixing “dinner” for my brothers out of acorns and berries using old pots and sticks in the little house in the woods at my grandmother’s house. She had a small box of toys, no tv, books and an acre or so of land. We liked exploring outside best, or as we grew older, making up stories and adventures or chatting in an upstairs bedroom. My brothers even wrote and illustrated stories and we carried these adventures through our play anywhere. I still miss those days so very much!! I hope your children grow to have fond memories of childhood as well.
Thank you so much! Such an encouraging and important message here. I have similar memories from my childhood and the magic of those days is still with me.
I have my kids involved in the process and talk with them about it. When i was four years old, my mom got rid of my fisher price cash register, and it made me really sad all the way into my teen years.
Those were the best! I still remember playing with one every time I visited my grandma. I can see why you were upset. It’s definitely a good idea to pay attention to what our kids play with before decluttering and keep it stashed away for a time just in case.
I played with only my hands and a couple of little trinkets (usually hairbands and very small containers) when i was little because everytime my parents bought a toy, it would be destroyed within hours after entering the house. It was always my brother's fault too. I was quite sad when they stopped buying me toys altogether. Honestly i don't really care now because they were just some cheap fragile Chinese toys.
This is not to be understated. One of the biggest mistakes I made as a parent was buying too many toys in the beginning. I've donated so many, but still, too many remain, stashed away. All ready to be donated.
The kids forgot about them pretty fast. Less is more. I aim to keep it simple with their favourites: Legos Blocks Trains Doll + clothes But theres still so much to offload. I have told everyone: "we dont need anymore toys"
Just the other day I just put 90% of my kids misc. toys in a bag out of frustration at the constant mess and neglect of their things. They have indeed been way more creative in how they play and what they use, and have only asked about 1 or 2 specific toys which lets me know what toys they are actually interested in!
I LOVE that I'm not the only one who took this approach! I'm thinking about calling it "The Bag-and-Banish Method" or maybe "The Hide-and-Decide Technique" 🤣
This is my first RUclips comment. I work in a Montessori kindergarten in Beijing and often use educational toys in my daily work. You are absolutely right, and I really like your video. Less is more. I do a similar thing with educational toys. I’ll share the video with some of the teachers here. Thank you for sharing your experience!
I'm 56. One of my fondest memories from my childhood is playing "little house on the prairie" outside. We didn’t use toys. We'd build forts with what we could find and create a house. We'd collect items to be sold in the store. We'd use small rocks for money. I think kids today miss out on creating their own fun. If my daughters ever told me they were bored, Id tell them that being bored is a choice because the world is full of exciting things, you just have to find them. 😊
That sounds very similar to my childhood. Memories I cherish. Have you ever read the children’s book Roxaboxen? It perfectly captures these kind of childhood experiences.
We were never bored. I do think we had toys, but we had free rein of the yard and also if we said we were bored, my parents liked to suggest a chore we could do. We were never bored.
Seriously....thank you. I had been talking to my 5 year old about how neither of us like to clean up the toys, so maybe its time to let go of some. Its good to not be too attached to objects and I've been modeling that in all the stuff I'm trying to go through myself in my decluttering. It does not always feel better having more, and I hope to instill that in her in a way that benefits her later on. Sometimes we buy things for the way buying it makes us feel, but no longer feel any happiness after we have it. Then it takes up space and becomes a burden. She seems to understand, crazily enough.
This video is so timely! We were drowning in my 2 year old twins' toys 🙈 I fell into the trap of educational toys as you were. I'm gonna try this experiment. Thanks for sharing ❤
"Like them, I am just an idiot with a camera." I don't know you, but I really appreciated this comment as it made me laugh and relax! Thank you for taking the time to make this video. It was a calm experience for me because of the lovely music, and the slow image transitions, without any hype. I also appreciated you taking the time to type out the bullet points for the journal. I love the idea of taking a few months to review the progress before making a decision, and sort of savouring the time to observe and engage with the process. I'm showing my other half this video as he's mentioned he thinks we have too many toys, and I think I'll enjoy running this experiment in the run-up to Christmas (when grandparents do their thing...!).
@@ChristineTorrance-t3e I'm so glad somebody appreciated that joke! LOL. Good luck with trying out this approach! I've gotten some great feedback from others who've already tried a similar approach, which is encouraging that it's working for folks!
For those who just want to get the key points, here’s a summary of the video: 1. Overstimulation from Excessive Toys: Research and experience show that too many toys can overwhelm children, leading to shorter play sessions, interruptions, and a lack of focus. Reducing toy quantity encourages deeper engagement, imagination, and cooperative play. 2. Historical Perspective on Toy Usage: Hundreds of years ago, children had few or no toys, instead using found objects to create their own playthings. The rise of mass production and educational theories led to today’s cultural focus on toys as developmental tools, which may not be necessary. 3. Decluttering Strategy (The 30-Minute Method): The method involves quickly identifying toys that are essential for imaginative and long-term play. The focus is on selecting a minimal, beloved collection and packing away others for a set period to test the effects of a simpler setup. 4. Observing the Benefits of Fewer Toys: After simplifying, children’s play became more creative and focused, lasting longer without interruptions. The reduced clutter fostered collaboration, self-sufficiency, and resourcefulness as they reimagined the available toys in various ways. 5. Experiment-Based Decluttering: Treating the decluttering process as an experiment allows for flexibility. Parents can test the impact of fewer toys before making final decisions, potentially building confidence to let go of unneeded items based on positive results observed.
Our kindergarden has a 3 month period each year that is "toy-free-time". They remove literally every single toy or even crafting supplies. The kids are left with scarfs, pillows, boxes, tape or blankets. They love it.
I’ve watched a bunch of these videos and nobody has explained this as well as YOU have!! I feel a sense of purpose and less confusion and guilt and paralyzed of where to start this decluttering journey. Thank you so much!!!😊
I am a mom of a 3.5 year old and a 22 momth old. I am so glad I stumbled accross this video. It is so freeing!!! Just last night and today I put away so many toys! I could never decide what to put away and what to keep before. This made it so easy! I can't wait to see the difference it will make! Already the lack of clutter is just so nice!! Thank you!
I'm a mom with two yr girl who doesnt like the toys i bought... Thanks for the video releasing me the obligation to always watching for new toys and games😂
I love this. My husband and I read Simplicity Parenting together and drastically reduced the toys available to our children. In the weeks following, our kids would get so deeply into play that they'd play with a single set of toys (like train tracks) for HOURS. It was mind blowing. Nowadays they have found the extra toys in the closet and we're back to the overwhelm. Glad I'm not the only one, and I may do what you suggest in the video. Thank you.
I had a set of Care Bares growing up and I would constantly play with, read or just my imagination outside. Funny how we are over complicating parenting these days. I genuinely can’t remember any other toys than those ones.
I love this. My best memories of play as a kid were ones where I was either making my own toy or game from scratch or just using my imagination with what I had. I really loved making my own toys though. If I wanted something at the store my mom would say something like "you could make a cooler version of that!" She thought she was just keeping me from thinking I could spend all her money on toys but really she was helping me learn creativity and resourcefulness. Usually this involved craft supplies she always made available to us. Sometimes she let us paint over Legos, which maybe some would think is bad, but we made lots of "new Lego sets" we basically saved my parents hundreds of dollars haha
Thank you for sharing this! Makes me feel encouraged that I let me kids draw on their toys, hahaha. My research into the history of toys and play in America taught me that, historically, children made their toys from objects they found in nature and around the house. I thought that was amazing!
This is one of the best videos on RUclips. You speak clearly, calmly, & at a great pace. I usually skip through videos or speed them up-- but not here. This was immensely helpful & educational. Thank you.
I love this ❤ I did the same thing almost 2 years ago and it’s truly a beautiful experience. I have 3 kids, two who are Neurodivergent. I strongly encourage this method and lifestyle, typical or not, it’s amazing! Not many people would agree with it, but it’s about what’s best for your family. ❤
This is the best!! In 3 short years of being a mom I’m realizing the educational toy rotation hype is sooo unnecessary & borderline damaging. For kids, in terms of restricting and overwhelming imaginative play. And for parents, causing financial strain and guilt of not having the best material items for their kids at every little developmental stage and/or the space mentally or physically to keep track of them. I love how you include quotes from some of my favorite authors.
Wow. I totally agree, my sister and I would have the most sustainable fun with the least. We had a painters tape roll that we played with in a big empty house that my parents were painting and updating electrical for. I still remember that single play session maybe 20 years later.
Love this video. I notice this a lot whenever my nephew spends time at my house for two week or so. I have some books for him but hardly any toys. He just naturally starts playing with my kitchen things, cushions, the vacuum whatever he finds really... I sometimes have to remind myself that he spends all morning at kindergarten anyways where he has a lot of things to explore and play with
I always appreciate the calm in your vidoes. You don't have any background "audio clutter". I just realized as a full grown adult that what I have are some sensory processing issues. I get overwhelmed easily. But your videos are relaxing to watch and I always learn something. I love decluttering! Thank you! Im off to bag up some toys. 👌
So happy I found this video! My daughter has an overwhelming amount of toys that end up ALL over her room, and this seems like a great way to reduce them without the stress of having her decide which toys to get rid of forever.
I did this. I got a package of 30lb black trash bags. I filled 10 (TEN.) of them with toys. We have 5 bins (fairly large, 18" x 18" x 36") of toys left out for my 4 children to play. Immediate difference. Calmer play. Longer stretches for play. Happy children. Thank you. After 3 months I will donate the 10 bags. In the meantime if anyone's asks for a toy that is missing I will get it. They don't know where the bags are and haven't even noticed 80% of their toys were missing. They are too busy playing together. Thank you for saving their childhood. Seriously. This was the most important video I have etched this year.
This was incredibly helpful! My son loves legos and cars. I have constantly wondered if I’m giving him enough in different areas of play but even when we have tried branching out, he loses interest and always goes back to the same categories. My hardest part is the books as a homeschooling family! There is always the library so we just need to keep favorites. So glad to see a video from you again!
Thank you!! I agree. Books are a tough area. As I mentioned in the video, I'm doing a book rotation still. I think books are easier to rotate, but I'm not sure if I'll stick with it. I'd like to cover the subject of books too (but it needs some good research first). We've also just started homeschooling this fall, so our book collection is growing. I try to get things from the library, but it doesn't always work out.
The number of GOOD books available at small local libraries.... Flabbergasts me. I grew up in a larger library network, and walking into our local library and not being able to pick up a book on George Washington (not a specific book, ANY non-adult book) was just.... I can't lean on our library. I mean seriously. NOTHING on GEORGE WASHINGTON?!!!!
@@elemaster3428 Preach! That's my exact experience. I'm working with my local library to learn more about the resources available to parents and homeschool educators to get specific books quickly. Hoping I can share down the road because I think those of us in smaller networks need extra support in this area.
I am a mom with a now 8 year old son and a six year old daughter and I can attest that this is true. Less really is more. Not only has it eliminated my stress level because of all the visual clutter being gone, but my children's stress level was also significantly reduced of not eliminated. It's okay moms! You know what your house should have in it and what it shouldn't. You got this!!
This is such a wonderful video and couldn't come at a better time. I agree that our children don't mind the missing toys, but grandparents are another story...
I just listened to hunt gather parent on audible. I have one kid who just turned 3.5. We recently moved into a one room log cabin w a loft. I eft most of our things boxed up in the barn but we still have 3 small shelves of toys and and its just too much. I want to reduce and this was helpful encouragement. Thank you!
Thank you so much for this! As a new parent to a 6 months old, i recently started noticing the difference in behaviour when my child is surrounded by toys vs. not that many. Although wasn't consciously looking solve this, I found this video at a very fortune moment. Thanks again!
This was one of the very best parenting videos I have watched on RUclips all year. You are making deep and quality content. I really appreciate your honest reflections and your guiding the viewer through your process. Even as a speech therapists and evolving minimalist-ish mom, I am completely overwhelmed by my child’s toys. Especially the grandparent gifts. I declutter constantly and own a lot less than the families we’re friends with but I have still felt completely overwhelmed by the ‘mental inventory.’ I really really appreciate your taking the time to make such a thoughtful video. I have found it so helpful and encouraging and affirming of my gut instinct that our child will do better with even less (even though that is in complete opposition to the cultural norm). Thank you thank you thank you💛
Uow! The video I needed. I felt into the same traps (fancy educational toys, complex montessori activities, toy rotation that made me exhausted). They all stopped working after my son was 2 years old. And I am constantly trying to create an environment to make him entertained for longer periods…
Oh God I'm just through the first 2 minutes and it's sooooooo TRUE!!! Rotation system also doesn't work for us!!! He knows where we keep the rest of the toys and asking for those more than the one we provide!! And their focus distraction is so real!!!
Observing children play should have dismissed the idea pretty fast. I just wonder how low iq or how detached a person have to be to fall for such stupidity. Why on earth would anyone think it is smart to force a kid to play with a particular toy for correct mental education? It hurt my brain to read these comments.
So glad to see someone admitting how time consuming rotation systems are! I’d love to hear if you’ve been through gifting seasons and birthdays since implementing this new system. Family love gifting our kids with physical things and seeing their joy in opening things - which then become part of our (cluttered) home. How do you manage to maintain your system whilst managing your kids’ and everyone else’s expectations around gifting?
Yes, please, address this. Birthdays, Christmas, etc. Especially address what grandparents should do. I am a grandma now but raised eight kids. Even though the grandparents would give only one gift per child at Christmas, that's 16 additional toys (two sets of grandparents) that entered the house that one day. It was almost like each kid got 16 new toys because of course they play with each other's toys (though not all ages played with all levels of toys.)
I needed A LOT of convincing on this topic, so I had to dive deep on that "why." So glad I did! It's given us enormous freedom. I hope it can do the same for other families!
I've re-watched this video multiple times. I'm a long time follower of Dawn from the minimal mom and was already pretty minimal with kids toys. This video was the push I needed to go even farther and eliminate my toy rotation entirely after recently welcoming my second child and feeling the need for extreme simplicity in this stage of life.
We have ALL the lovevery toys. I studied child development and tried to keep it very minimal. We have the same issue with rotations and the toy closet my kids constantly want to pull from. I’m struggling to minimize because it was such an investment and because we are having another on the way. Thank you for this video. I can give this a try!
You can try reselling! I’ve seen a lot on eBay and you can get a good amount back because some parents either don’t want the entire box or lost and item, or just can’t afford it. I’m also a Lovevery mom and that’s what I plan to do. It’s been worth it so far imo 😊
I LOVED THIS VIDEO!!! The information was exactly what I needed to hear. BUT, more than that, seeing a thoughtful and intelligent woman apply her depth and interesting mind towards motherhood. It seems society pits motherhood against career achievement for intelligent women and this, to me, is perfection.
I have the lovevery subscription as well. Months 0-12 were great (not necessary)--my toddler still loves them. I stopped at adventurer 16-18 month because my toddler would rather play with stuffed animals and cars than his educational toys. It's crazy how many toys we accumulated just from lovevery alone from 0-18 months!
I often feel like when we started lovevery is when we went down the toy rabbit hole. Before, we had a couple open ended things for our then 1 year old and suddenly there was that constant influx of toys. And it came with that philosophy of rotating toys, so there was no harm in accumulating more and more since of course I won't overwhelm my kid, I'd never have everything out at the same time. And from there it spiraled, until the rotation was overwhelming and toys were everywhere. We have 3 kids now and exactly 2 lovevery toys survived the test of time for us (we stopped middle of the third year I believe). Nowadays, instead of toy rotation, we have areas of different types of play set up. It looks like a lot since it's all over the place but because like things stay together in a simple system, our 4 and 3 year old easily can clean up every evening. We only keep what they play with at least weekly - which is a lot since everything has a place and they always know exactly where everything is. But in all their building toys, pretend, dress up and gross motor, there is absolutely no interest in educational toys 😂 except puzzles. Which is a nightmare in itself - but also here, once I found a system they can maintain themselves, it's great. As much as I despise advertised educational toys for the scam most of them are, I very much enjoy how much our kids play with all their open ended toys, creating their own worlds.
@@ronjab4586 after my second is born and plays with the toys, I'll probably pass on the least loved ones. But I was very clear with my husband and family that I did NOT want a lot of toys which is why I opted for lovevery (not realizing how many toys we would end up getting ☠️). We have stuffed animals/beanie babies and brio train set passed down from my husband, a play kitchen with random kitchen items as complementary toys that I have multiples of, a tool set, the cars, and the Lovevery 0-18 month subscription in addition to their block set. The only toy I want to add is magnatiles and that's it 🤣 my toddler has played with them in other places and he really seems to enjoy them. I definitely learned that my toddler would rather "play" with items in using like the sink, vacuum cleaner, mop, etc, than his toys most of the time. I tried more frequent toy rotations and it just doesn't work for me. Our house is very small so we only have the play kitchen in the kitchen and a shelf with 6-8 toys in the living room. I do a monthly toy rotation because we don't have the space to have his select number of toys out all at once. I usually pick 1-2 messy toys (like the blocks, tools, trains, cars etc) and the rest are ones that are easy to put away.
Thank you for this video! I have been declutterring toys recently and donating them, but there is still so much! Toys have over run our home and it causes so much stress. By showing how to take the emotion out of the process, it will really help me to take away more. Between my daughters emotional attachments, mine and my husbands it can be hard. My husband was actually taking things out of the donation box as we were loading the car. I had him listen to your video as well. He is now prepared and agrees to letting more things go. With Christmas around the corner we have even notified our relatives that she has too much and have asked for science kits and crafting items and clothes instead of toys. My 4 year old really wants to be a scientist and is very into discovery and experiments. So we really want her to explore. Thanks again!
What you decided to keep is what my kids have. We live in a small home and I’ve always been conscious about not buying random toys because of our space. They have what they use and other times they play with furniture, stuffies, they make forts or use their outdoor scooters, bikes. Etc or play in dirt and water. They also like to collect flowers, leaves, bugs.
I really really appreciate that you do a lot of research and reading before making a video! I have been really enjoying watching all your videos since I recently discovered your channel. They're very calming to watch too ❤
I appreciate that! I'm loving doing the more heavily researched videos, though they take between 80 and 120 hours to produce so I may have to limit them to a few a year and fit in some more casual topics as well :)
We went pretty minimal when our kids were little at first out of necessity (we lived in some pretty small spaces) and then because ei saw how much better they played with open space and few toys. To be honest, they okay most with magnet tiles, backpacks, stuffed animals, and things they find around the house. They also are all really creative, choosing to draw, color, craft, build puzzles, and read so much more than they did when we had more. Overall their relationships (there are 4 ranging 7yo-2yo) are so much stronger, they come up with games together, and even have developed a sense for when one is feeling overwhelmed and just needs to be alone for a bit. It's wonderful.
This video was so beautifully done!! After reading Simplicity Parenting, we decluttered 90% of our kids toys (which we felt was previously minimal)… and it was life changing for our family! Thank you for this video, I hope it reaches more families who need it!! ❤️
My two children 7 and 5 always had a lot of toys and my daughter’s room was always a mess. Recently, I cleaned up the clutter and made displays out of their playmobil sets and everything that they don’t play with much went into the closet. They don’t even go into the closet for toys now 😂 they love magnetiles and legos but most of all they love the palaces I make them with our L shaped couch. I see my daughter cleaning up after herself without me begging her all day 😮💨 it feels amazing. I plan on decluttering their toys even more as the ones in their closets are almost untouched and collecting dust. Thank you for making this video, it further motivates me to have a minimalistic approach to toys and less toys = less mess = less cleaning
I really love the thought and intention in this video. I have long agreed with the philosophy and I would love to reduce my kids toys further. I used to be able to keep it quite minimal, but in the last few years we have gone through the onslaught of birthday gifts in the first couple of years of school, several Christmases with overly generous relatives, and as the kids are getting older it is getting much harder to keep a lid on it. I would love more info about the 30 minute method your video is suggesting, as I went in for that - as an overloaded working mother I'd love to know how to truly reduce the overwhelm in a 30 minute (or even a one hour) method! Please give us more on that! I get so overwhelmed every time I even think about tackling this huge task.
3 месяца назад+1
I feel this works really well with young children but a lot less with older ones. I think at some point we have to let them desire some things (and get them, not all, but some). They go to friend's houses, they get their own money, their own tastes, it's normal they just develop tastes and desires bigger than a few blocks and toys.
I completely agree. While certain aspects this video can be helpful and beneficial for my younger 2 kiddos, it wouldn't necessarily work with or for my 9 year old. Also my kids read dozens of books a day and we definitely need a lot so that we can rotate them in and out.
i am neither a father nor a mother, but I subscribed to your channel because your approach is so calming, and it is amazing to watch you to prep myself to be a future father! Thanks a lot for your marvelous editing & audio work too. ❤
This is all great in theory. I have a few family members that don't respect my minimalist nature. They buy toys non stop. There is no way I could pare this down in 3 hours. Forget 30 minutes. I love your dream life. Before i had a kid i lived there too.
It’s not a dream. You just need to take authority. I don’t ask people to treat us a certain way, I let them know “we will not be accepting toys any longer. Thank you!” All the toy gifts that come after that get promptly sent back!
Start by throwing out all of the broken/missing pieces toys. That really helps clear some out. Another thing you can do is teach your kids that for every one coming in, one has to leave. Be honest about condition of toys leaving, some need to be trashed, but others can be donated to domestic violence shelters, homeless shelters, sold at yard sales. Bonus points if you know where a new toy was purchased. Even without receipt, most stores at least give store credit you can use on things you do need or want.
I agree with everything you said in this video. I have a 4 year old & soon to be 2 year old & we really didn’t have a lot of toys for them. Kids are happy with the simple things in life & i also realize this helps them to use their imagination 😊. I love seeing my kids play great together & how creative they are with using their imagination!
I do agree with you from my experience. I moved to another country with 2 suitcace we were expecting to receive the container after 4 weaks. It came after 4 months. So my kids 3 and 5 years old had almost no toys no tv only play9ng outside in parcs and at home coloring drawing painting. They were way more calm no foghting no anger and didnt miss the toys.
Fantastic video. We just did something similar for our 4 year old. I appreciate the scientific approach you took to the process, feels validating for getting rid of so much excess
This is such a great idea! My son plays so much better when I take him to parts of the house where there are no toys. Your videos are awesome, please keep making them ❤
THANK YOU! My own child can testify to this. I would buy toys and she would play with it once or twice and then seek out every day stuff (water bottles, keys, pots and pans, boxes etc. ) i dreaded the thought of getting more toys because it seem like a waste of money. Now I know why! Totally agree with your video
I really enjoyed this video-- everything from the topic, your work on the research, your approach with the experiment and the way you presented it all. And, the way you explained your previous thought process on educational toys really hit home. Thanks so much for creating and sharing!
My baby is 10 months and has so many toys already. I noticed he doesn’t really like being confined in a big baby playpen with toys, but he’ll rather play with the cardboard box with clothes I want to donate in the room. Interesting video and I observed myself that toys makes my baby ask for “more” and “more”.
Thanks for the video. My heart definitely ached a little bit seeing so many Loverey toys going! I stared at these toys online lovingly when bub was a baby, but I just couldn't justify the investment! I am so glad I didnt get them, it would be so hard to part ways with them!! Good on you for that emotional strength! We do still have a toy rotation but my husband (who is no minimalist by any standard) has mentioned that our 2 year old might be better off with just 3 books and 4 toys out to help her focus - just through his own observations. She currently has 12 -16 books out on her front facing bookshelf and 6 toys on her shelf and a few more lying around in other rooms. I thought that wasn't a lot when I'm bombarded with images of other people's toy rooms looking similar. But I think my husband is right! It's also helpful to hear about what you've found out from reading about this topic as well.
Yeah, unfortunately the Lovevery toys turned out to be more of an emotional burden for mom than a blessing for my kids. And, I've heard as much from other moms who watch the channel. I think you're much better off! Good luck with simplifying things for your little one. I love that your husband is on board too! That's a real blessing!
I've saved this video to watch soon! We live in a small flat with two young children (3&1) and have way too many toys and it's overwhelming. I struggle to declutter, mostly due to sentimental reasons, feeling bad for getting rid of gifts and thinking some toys are beneficial. My 3 yr old will soon be turning 4 and im dreading a new influx of toys! Im keen to glean from what you share in this video and hoping for a shift in my thinking!
Thank you for your video! I just wanted to add that it really might be a little bit harder with older children. I have three children, 9, 5 and 2. When my 9 yo gets a present from grandma that he really loves but I don’t…. You know, I don’t think that I can do anything about that. Even though he doesn’t play that often with it, he still has memories attached and doesn’t want to get rid of some things. We still don’t have a lot of toys, but we sure have a lot that I would not have chosen for them earlier in their lives. But it is what it is. I also think the part about the observation and being present but quiet is really good.
Yes, this is our problem! I can clear out most of the 3 year olds room and she wouldn’t notice but my 6 and 8 year old have a very precise mental log of what is theirs and its purposes. So it just a more complicated process for their things- teaching, explaining, coaching- which is of course a good life skill for them, but it is a different process.
It stars with talking to grandma first. I also preview presents people give my children and decide if they get them or not. Talk with the present givers and explain that you will not be receiving these gifts any longer
If someone is expecting another kid, how to declutter and how to save some for the new kid? I do not want to keep buying new stuff if I knew I had in the closet. Then again I can't hold on to everything.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Toys are very easy to come by via birthday and Christmas gifts and even thrift stores. You can always keep a small box of a select few things. I used to be concerned about the same thing. Now I have three kids and have a harder time keeping things out of the house. We’ve received toys for younger kids that I’ve declutterred in the past with my older child. They keep coming back like a boomerang! 😂
Thiiis is so interesting! I actually learnt new things that I didn't know. We reduced in half the amount of toys with my kids, we donated what we could and I plan on decluttering even more. It feel like a weight lifted up off my shoulders. Kids are also content and play more.
As a mom for the last fifteen years I fell into all those developmental toy scams even buying the Your Baby Can Read with my first. Because they knew i was an emotional ball of hormones and fearful new parent. 😅 And then with my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th which i had 8 years later and consecutively they all just played with the open ended toys that I had curated. No more baby toys that have promises a mile wide. And guess what? My kids still know how to do all those finemotor skills etc. Without the junk.😊
YAAASSS! That's honestly what happened with my second. We had all the Lovevery toys and guess what, his mom kept forgetting to rotate them. He developed his fine motor skills by drawing and by picking up extremely tiny things he found on the floors. LOL.
I want to do this for myself!! I think the excess of fabric and yarn I own actually limit my creativity. But what great advice for everyone! Thank you!
Love all this, how do you plan on handling Christmas as in will you buy new toys for your kids and what do you think of family? In the past I have asked profusely to give experiences for my kids and we only do 1 toy gift for each child but grandparents and aunts/uncles who mean well always give toys and it is frustrating.
Great question! I was wondering the same thing. We’ve got a birthday coming up for my almost 5 year old and he’s already talking about all the toys he’d want 😅. All the other birthday parties we’ve been to this year, his favorite part was when the birthday kid opened the presents and seeing the toy . Would be thinking about how I could be doing this differently this year.
@@CorneliaPauline @molls784 These are really important questions. Especially if you've already tried to set the boundary with the family and your preferences/recommendations weren't listened to. I've had quite a few questions along these lines so I'm going to schedule a Live Q&A to address it there. It will be available as a regular video after, so no worries if you can't join the Live.
@@papertownhome oh love this and thank you!! Great video you’ve created and made there and love following all the discussions on this thread. Keep it up 🔥
Okay, I didn’t even reach half of the video but I had to stop and say THANK YOU! I’ve read many educational books , bought many similar toys (often times the same) as you have. The rotation of toys drove me crazy and my kid’s reaction was the same as yours. The importance of your videos relies on helping how to do this change when before l thought I was doing the right thing for my kids. In the past I had noticed that after declutterring the kids always played better.
I have decluttered almost all of our toys and we didn't have a lot to begin with. I started by telling my toddler (2) that if he didn't pick up his toys, they would go away. He would look me in the eyes, wave his hand and say, "bye bye." They happily watch as I packed up the toys and donated them. Now if he doesn't want a toy he simply tells me and it has only been a few months. He doesn't ask for toys and I have never fought a toy out of his arms while in a store, he's happy to put them back.
That's so awesome! Thank you for sharing. It's so encouraging to hear that even young children can have this attitude with things when it's been modeled.
I’ve started slow recently by putting some toys away. Just one bag at the time. NONE was remembered or asked for. Bag after bag after bag. I was shocked, to be honest. I think your method is great - quick and eye opening.
This is intense. I love it! ✨ I heard Diana Kokku say that she felt her children couldn’t keep their toys tidy even though they were simplified a ton and I could relate. But the solution wasn’t what I wanted to hear either… simplify more! Needless to say I’m inspired by your video & confidence that they don’t need them! 💐
Oh and I should also thank-you for the distinction between exploration and play -game changer! 🌹 And a quick question. Did you keep any cars/trucks? That is a huge category in our household with 2 boys.
Grama of 8 year old girl, full time grandparenting for almost a year. First, I love this video! Thank you! Second, right away we were choosing to have less. I already believe less is better. Now we've gone through Christmas and her birthday and I really believe this will help me with helping her have less. It felt like things were getting to be too much. She doesn't have any siblings to play with and she longs for that, and I wish we had room for large boxes like that and didn't mind our couch cushions on the floor getting walked all over. You parents definitely have more freedom with all that and I just loved watching that in this video. I suppose at 8 years she wouldn't be pulling the cushions off the couch, but maybe she would if she felt free to do so. 😀
This was timely! I was just lamenting to a friend this morning about how the toy rotation system was not working for us & how I've noticed that they really only play with a few toys consistently and deeply. I really hate having a toy closet that I have to manage. I'm going to try this! Question though - how would you handle incoming toys from bdays/christmas/grandparents while doing this experiment & afterwards?
I suggest family to gift experiences (such as an annual zoo pass or a day of fun at the amusement park). It just has to be an activity we do as a family together. It puts emphasis on the value of experiences and not things. Also, asking for practical items to gift (new bedding set, next size up clothing, etc.). My husband and I also don’t buy any new toys. That way if someone really wants to buy a toy for a birthday or Christmas, we aren’t inundated with an excess amount of toys. We also declutter around every Christmas and birthday.
I have the same question. We have a constant inflow of new stuff from several sources. A lot of times I’ll accept the gifts then immediately donate or toss them before my kids are even aware of them, but it doesn’t always work.
I guess my question is what would you recommend for Christmas or birthdays? And what if relatives insist on giving lots of toys and get upset if you donate them etc.?
@@rebekahtablante327 what I personally do is ask for things that they like that are like expansions (more magnatiles, things that will work in her dollhouse) but I know that’s a slippery slope. I also like “consumable” things like play doh, slime (I’m crazy I know), craft supplies
Thank you for this video. It's like you read my mind. I've recently started decluttering my kid's toys because I noticed they only play with a few things. The rest of it is in the way!
As a teacher and researcher of young children for almost 40 years , I’m thrilled that you created this vital video. Well done Mama! ❤
@@sl9906 oh my goodness! Thank you! That’s so encouraging 🥰
I was watching this video and my 10 year old came and started watching with me. After awhile i paused and asked him what he thought. He said it made sense. As soon as the video was over he goes “well let’s get started.” I think I’ll have my other kids watch it too.
That's amazing!
How’d it go?
First child : had Lovevery. I obsessed over the play guide and timeline of it all
Second baby: bopping around the floor with a comb and a rain boot for half hour
Thank you for your feedback.
I am a stay home dad and i 100percent agree hardest thing for me is getting all the relatives to stop buying the junk
This! I have outright ASKED them to stop buying, but every little thing is "it's so cute" 😢
@@ChristineCraythorne you send the people home with the junk they bought and they start to catch on how serious you are tell them that your kid could play with it at there house next time your over
Ask them to give a gift receipt and then exchange it for diapers you need. In laws burden us with the toys. I have barely bought any for our son. He has so many though that other people bought him. One triumph was getting to return an obnoxious FP “playhouse” set with 80 sounds, phrases and lighting up including a toilet flushing. I said no and my husband agreed and we got to take that back and use the money for diapers all he needed.
One set of grandparents love to bring SUITCASES full of toys and clothes every single time they come over.
Our little apartment is overwhelmed and they don't listen to our Please, NO MORE.
I decided this; I've told them over and over so if I donate it right after, or a week later, then I will because I tell them at every holiday and birthday.
I was a kid whose parents randomly (not systematically) got rid of things they thought I wasn't using anymore, and they made some BAD mistakes.
I started hiding things I loved but didn't fit my age anymore.
To be clear, I fully support the process outlined above, but do NOT think you are doing your children any favors by making it a slow and continual process - especially if those kids are older. Set a new standard and stick to it. If there is a pattern of continually "stealing" your children's toys, over the years, it can really shatter trust.
I think age is relevant here. Her kids are very young.
I feel like if you have memories of hiding toys you were probably older when your parents declutterred your toys.
That's understandable. Stealing is never ok even if its a child. From the age of 4 I taught my daughter that letting go of things we don't play with is a good thing and by donating them we can give them to other children. Or by selling them we can save money for something else, like a day at the arcade or save up for a scooter. Obviously we cover most of the cost but it can teach the importance of saving money at the same time. I only donate toys that my kids approve of. Sometimes I ask them to pick toys to donate or I'll come to them asking if they are OK to donate a specific thing. I keep a box by the stares that is always for donated items and one day I found my daughter who is 8 now, putting some books in it. I didn't even question her, she knew what the box is for and wanted to let something go, I was so proud of her.
@megana5658 I agree. I think they must have started when I was young, but then continued too long. I also continued to play with a broad range of my toys much longer than many children, I think (well into high school), so I wasn't really ... aging out of things at the expected rate. I don't think most kids would have noticed.
Nope. As much as I would love to get rid of some clutter and as much as I think my kids would be happier, unless they ok it, nothing leaves.
This is important. There’s no way I can get rid of my 6yo son’s toys; he has a mind like a steel trap and, like me at that age, many of his toys have deep backstories and personalities in his imagination. Yes, there are too many toys, but this is such a short time in our life. He will be grown and the clutter gone before we know it. Until then I watch and enjoy, and occasionally shove it all into a box for him to rediscover months later :)
I’ve been a nanny for many families and I think if parents implemented this system it would dramatically transform not only their children’s play but the whole atmosphere of the household and the behavior of both the children and parents. We are all so much more overstimulated than we realize.
Hi! Saw this comment and I know this is super random, I’m curious if you’re still nannying and/or have any connections in Florida that you would recommend :)
I have to laugh…I’m a 56 year old mother of a 23 year old daughter who saw the empty box our new treadmill came in and climbed right in. She was so excited to have a box seven feet long that she could lie down in. She is a teacher and hasn’t lost that sense of play.
I'm a 42 year old dad and that's the first thing I would do with a box like that. Build a fort! 😅
I remember making cars and houses out of boxes as a kid. So fun!
I would get in it and then turn it into a doll house.
Kids and cats love empty boxes
My kids do that too@@user-me2bc2zd8q
I have six children (27-14) and I wasted so many years dealing with toy messes until I finally figured out how needless they were and got rid of almost all of them. My children were nothing but relieved. They didn’t like cleaning them up anymore than I did!
When I stopped taking piles of toys in the car my daughters started playing “foot babies”. It was adorable. 😅 Children are so much smarter and more creative than we can even comprehend.
The danger is in doing this for your children with some idea of it being better for them, making them smarter or more creative. It isn’t and it won’t. They might thank you for it or they might not. Do it because it feels good to you and for no other reason. Your children are responsible for figuring out their own feelings and their own future.
Mind blown… My kids are indeed happiest outside in nature, when they aren’t even around their toys. So interesting!!!
Same.. Even though our house is full of toys the best moments of the day are outside. They actually have very little interest in their toys. Now I dread birthday parties and Christmas where we will end up with even more toys! Though I do recall Christmas as a child where receiving gifts was so exciting, so I guess that is the highlight of receiving even more toys they will likely lose interest in quickly.
That's not especially a comment on minimalism-- there are tons of intervening variables there, including novelty, change, sensory input from smells and the breeze, the stimulation of bright light, normalizing circadian rhythms, soothing hormones put out by trees, the way we're wired to like the color green...
My kids takes her toys outside to play with. 🤷♀️ Dolls, animals, etc. She plays with her toys and nature at the same time.
@@laurenell1112a good strategy for me was new toy comes in, old one goes out. Birthday and Christmas you’re only dealing with twice a year
Yep! A decent tree to climb, surrounded by a garden to pick snacks from can go a long way.
I had wanted to organize my 5-year-old daughter's toys for a while. When I saw your video, I started right away. Took me 2 hours to pack everything up in the end, but now it's in 3 trash bags, hidden in her closet. When she came home she looked at her shelves and THANKED me. She did ask for one specific toy but was ok when I told her we were taking a break from some toys and could get it back later. I'll keep everything for a few more months and then donate what she doesn't ask for. All that to say, the space looks so much cleaner and more inviting and we are both thrilled. Thank you!
I'm so thrilled for you and your daughter! Congrats and thanks for taking the time to let me know!
@@papertownhome update a few months later: I donated everything I had packed up and she didn’t even notice. Thank you for giving me the courage to be radical.
@ that’s amazing!! Thank you for being courageous!
this was quite literally an answer to prayer. My children unpack the toys and don’t even play with them! Nothing except for the magnitiles or blocks! Been praying about simplifying our lives but just didn’t know how far to go… Really felt like you were speaking my language. So appreciate your approach- so solid.
Thank you! I'm so happy this video was a blessing to you!
Our boy is almost 3 and he does the same now. Just dump the toys out and move on
After 8 years of parenting my theory is that toys are made for buying. That is their purpose to be purchased. But when I try and talk about my theory peope look at me like I have 2 heads lol. The other thing I think toys provide is a common play script, so at the library my kids will play with new kids with toys that they ignore in our home.
This is SUCH A GOOD POINT! When I was reading about the history of play in Colonial America, I learned that, historically, toys were owned by ADULTS! They would own blocks and figurines and such. I was initially shocked and then thought, no that totally makes sense. I'm very drawn to toys as an adult. Historically, children made their own playthings from objects found in nature or around the house.
Oh my goodness yes I agree. Mine and my husband's parents are remarried and + great grand parents there's 10 grand parents and we are the only ones with kids. They are very spoiled on Christmas and birthdays because of this. My mother thank goodness listens to me when I say please don't get them more than 1 thing or nothing at all lol. Iv asked other grandparents to either just spend time with them or donate to their college fund, but if they insist on toys we have an Amazon wishlist the kids get to curate. My mom just renews a zoo pass every year and takes them to the zoo periodically.
The amount of toys I bought because my toddlers played with them in some other place for them to collect dust at my house 🤦🏻♀️
I agree with the buying part.
I’ve always tried to but one good solid won’t break easy type toys for Christmas, birthday & sometimes Easter. Been raising kids since 1993 and it really does seem a handful of good ones is much healthier, more enjoyable then an entire sea of stuff.
And here in the UK if the health visitor (which is the professional who does a home visit to check on your and baby once they’re born for up to two years)
They raise no or little toys as red flags!
I get there are situations where the child maybe neglected over all and that is one of the red flags.
This is something I’ve contemplated for some time and amazingly, God put this on my feed without me having to search for it at all. ❤
I needed this video today! My 2 year old doesn't even play with the toys. He plays with our nugget couch and cars. I needed the permission to ditch the rest like I've been wanting to. Thankfully he's young enough he won't notice the drastic reduction of clutter.
This is how my son is, just obsessed with cars/trains. I keep wanting to downsize his toy collection both in and out of rotation, but I just keep thinking “how can I get rid of all this?!” I feel like I’m looking for permission to do it.
@@JonasBrosGirl You have permission! :)
But, seriously, you just saw me unload hundreds of dollars of heirloom quality toys. You can do it! I've found that decluttering, though it involves a lot of facing disappointments from purchases that didn't work out, teaches us SO MUCH about how to forgive ourselves and learn from mistakes. I'm a wiser and more careful consumer today than I was four years ago.
If anything he'll just notice the extra space to jump around on that nugget!
@papertownhome decluttering the love every toys (I have a few toys and puzzles I got recently 2nd hand, never did a subscription thank fully) and I'm keeping the puzzled but letting go of the magical toys for diy versions to bond more and I deleted fb so I'd stop buying and selling things for awhile but I know it's in a bin in my shed just waiting. Should I try to wait and resell one day or donate? I donated almost anything I spent 50$ or under this year while decluttering and I spent that much or less on these but struggling to let go of them or the idea of them and we didn't even use them lol
@@feliciasuris2381This is so tough! I’ve found for me if I find someone who really needs something I need to get rid of it’s easier to let go of. For example I’ve passed lots of baby and maternity stuff on to my sister-in-law. I always ask if it’s something she could use. I also post things on my local Buy Nothing group and watch for people’s requests in the group as well. It really makes it easier to give things away.
Mom of 5. Legos, Duplos, Magnet Tiles, Matchbox, a barn and schleich animals, Sarahs Play Silks as our dress up, a nugget sofa thing, coloring stuff. Our Yoto players. Wooden blocks are available but notc used daily. My kids really love crafting so i give them access to paper, cardboard, scissors, tape etc. That's about it. Weve gone thru the various stages of kid clutter and toys has been where we've landed. And no battery toys ever! Books galore. Great video! Get the kids outside and let them play.
The battery toys 🫠 love your comment. I can relate!
This is almost spot-on for the toys we have for my 5 year old! Lol
I'm so into this list!
My kids are a bit older, but I've realized that they literally dump their toys simply to play with the box. They don't even want the toys! I've seen videos like this a million times, but your realization that kids don't even need the "learning" toys has really hit home. Thank you for this. I love it.
Ps. Your kids climbing out the window into the rain is adorable. We should be friends. 😂
I'm so glad it was helpful! Yes, let's be friends!
Where are these videos you’ve seen a million times? Id love to see more info on this. It’s very encouraging
@@vrock913 if you google "20 toy rule" you will find some, plus some articles about it :)
I had planned to be like this when I first became a parent! But my babe turned one recently and over the year, we have been gifted SO many toys we felt bad donating ... and of course I'm also guilty of buying educational toys too.. who wants their child to be uneducated! But now we have so much, my rotation shelf is packed, the display toy shelf is full, and babe's independent play isn't great. So thank you for this video - it was a welcome reminder of my initial values around toys.
I totally get feeling bad about donating toys. If you need some inspiration from someone with the same experience as you but 3 years further down the road.. We are very intentional with receiving gifts. We ask people to give gifts together like all the uncles gave my daughter a water table for outside. And we ask more practical things like new rainboots, umbrella, jammies, cap. Or something to do with the grandparents like going to the zoo. And last if people really want to give something small, I love colouring books, stickers or sketch paper. Depends of course if your child likes that, but it will disappear in time just by using it.
@@ANNEM90 These are such great ideas! Did you have a wishlist you gave to people or just told them what you could use instead of more toys?
@@xtinafusco I had a wish list but more in categories.
There is still a lot that needs to happen in mainstream culture
Oh, the gifting is a real struggle! I am appreciative, but then ... what to do with it all? We are certainly a culture of excess, and any attempt to say "no toys as presents, please" is met with disgust from family that just want to spoil them.
I admit that I approached this video with considerable scepticism, but was drawn in by your unideological and intelligent presentation. And halfway through I noticed that I have already done what you suggest. I have always tried to keep my son's toy selection simple, and it works. I had expected some radical minimalism, and instead what I got was a common sense approach that really validated me and eased my doubts about how I do things. Thank you!
I also noticed a lot of the toys in the video are not age appropriate. At some point they were probably challenging but the kids are over 4 already; the skills have been acquired for years.
This video may have changed my life. I did a massive purge, it took a couple days and I'm not sure if I'm done yet, but the difference in my home, kids, and self is palpable. Thank you! There is a lot of general decluttering left to take care of but this made a larger dent than I would have believed.
I have a 14 yo and can confirm she never cared when I would trim back her items. It really helped her enjoy what she had. Now she doesn't emphasize stuff in her life. She never has a holiday wishlist saying she has everything she needs, even when grandma asks for a list. She's an artist and as long as we always have art supplies and journals around she's a happy teen. Emphasizing time together with experiences like hikes, local theater performances, etc is helpful.
Thank you for this video! I unintentionally did a similar experiment. With this 4th pregnancy being harder the first few months, I ended up putting all of my toddlers toys away except for cars, magnatiles, kitchen supplies, craft supplies, and baby dolls/stuffed animals. They saw me packing them up to be put away and asked why. They were upset for maybe 2 seconds and then literally didn't care. About 2 months later and it's now easier to get them to clean up their toys, their imaginations have grown even more, and they play slightly better together. This video gave me the extra push I needed to officially get rid of the toys they don't truly need/care about.
Love this and been saying this for years. I'm an educator, Ive even tried to speak to administration about this and its dismissed or said "Kids need all the toys out for language development". We are the ones in the classroom who have to manage behaviors and support with routines such as cleaning. Now I can say, I'm happy to get out of the classroom now lol and no longer under that administration. Hope this catches on in a system that refuses to move forward but stays behind. Thank you for sharing this!
I just finished decluttering all of my toddlers toys and she only has a few out right now simply because I haven’t set up her play area yet… she’s been playing with what we have so deeply and for so long it’s been blowing my mind. I might get rid of even more.
As a montessori teacher this is a very good video that goes in the deepth of this theme :)
Am I a mom in my 50s who has 6 grown children? Yes, I am. Did I watch every minute of this video? Yes I did. We didn’t have tons of toys because we did not see the need and grandparents couldn’t afford spoiling six. I was always amazed at watching my children, girls and boys, play with shoes as cars and reinvent other toys into something else. I was fascinated with how they played best together when they played like this. They still speak of these days and their play. My personal fondest memories were fixing “dinner” for my brothers out of acorns and berries using old pots and sticks in the little house in the woods at my grandmother’s house. She had a small box of toys, no tv, books and an acre or so of land. We liked exploring outside best, or as we grew older, making up stories and adventures or chatting in an upstairs bedroom. My brothers even wrote and illustrated stories and we carried these adventures through our play anywhere. I still miss those days so very much!! I hope your children grow to have fond memories of childhood as well.
Thank you so much! Such an encouraging and important message here. I have similar memories from my childhood and the magic of those days is still with me.
Hey what’s the age gap between kids and is it more and more difficult the more kids you have ?
I have my kids involved in the process and talk with them about it. When i was four years old, my mom got rid of my fisher price cash register, and it made me really sad all the way into my teen years.
Those were the best! I still remember playing with one every time I visited my grandma. I can see why you were upset. It’s definitely a good idea to pay attention to what our kids play with before decluttering and keep it stashed away for a time just in case.
Yea my mom got rid of big stuffed bear named Big Bear when I was 4. I was bitter about it forever 😅
I played with only my hands and a couple of little trinkets (usually hairbands and very small containers) when i was little because everytime my parents bought a toy, it would be destroyed within hours after entering the house. It was always my brother's fault too. I was quite sad when they stopped buying me toys altogether. Honestly i don't really care now because they were just some cheap fragile Chinese toys.
You already bought the same vintage one right?? We found it, kids love it and it’ll make you feel some closure!!
It was a tiger stuffed toy for me
This is not to be understated. One of the biggest mistakes I made as a parent was buying too many toys in the beginning. I've donated so many, but still, too many remain, stashed away. All ready to be donated.
The kids forgot about them pretty fast.
Less is more. I aim to keep it simple with their favourites:
Legos
Blocks
Trains
Doll + clothes
But theres still so much to offload. I have told everyone: "we dont need anymore toys"
SELL & Buy a zoo membership or have a cinema fund.
Just the other day I just put 90% of my kids misc. toys in a bag out of frustration at the constant mess and neglect of their things. They have indeed been way more creative in how they play and what they use, and have only asked about 1 or 2 specific toys which lets me know what toys they are actually interested in!
I LOVE that I'm not the only one who took this approach! I'm thinking about calling it "The Bag-and-Banish Method" or maybe "The Hide-and-Decide Technique" 🤣
Hide and decide 😂 love it
This is my first RUclips comment. I work in a Montessori kindergarten in Beijing and often use educational toys in my daily work. You are absolutely right, and I really like your video. Less is more. I do a similar thing with educational toys. I’ll share the video with some of the teachers here. Thank you for sharing your experience!
You're welcome! Thank you for taking the time to comment :)
I'm 56. One of my fondest memories from my childhood is playing "little house on the prairie" outside. We didn’t use toys. We'd build forts with what we could find and create a house. We'd collect items to be sold in the store. We'd use small rocks for money. I think kids today miss out on creating their own fun. If my daughters ever told me they were bored, Id tell them that being bored is a choice because the world is full of exciting things, you just have to find them. 😊
That sounds very similar to my childhood. Memories I cherish. Have you ever read the children’s book Roxaboxen? It perfectly captures these kind of childhood experiences.
We were never bored. I do think we had toys, but we had free rein of the yard and also if we said we were bored, my parents liked to suggest a chore we could do. We were never bored.
Seriously....thank you. I had been talking to my 5 year old about how neither of us like to clean up the toys, so maybe its time to let go of some. Its good to not be too attached to objects and I've been modeling that in all the stuff I'm trying to go through myself in my decluttering. It does not always feel better having more, and I hope to instill that in her in a way that benefits her later on. Sometimes we buy things for the way buying it makes us feel, but no longer feel any happiness after we have it. Then it takes up space and becomes a burden. She seems to understand, crazily enough.
This video is so timely! We were drowning in my 2 year old twins' toys 🙈 I fell into the trap of educational toys as you were.
I'm gonna try this experiment.
Thanks for sharing ❤
You're welcome! Good luck!
How did it go?
"Like them, I am just an idiot with a camera." I don't know you, but I really appreciated this comment as it made me laugh and relax! Thank you for taking the time to make this video. It was a calm experience for me because of the lovely music, and the slow image transitions, without any hype. I also appreciated you taking the time to type out the bullet points for the journal. I love the idea of taking a few months to review the progress before making a decision, and sort of savouring the time to observe and engage with the process. I'm showing my other half this video as he's mentioned he thinks we have too many toys, and I think I'll enjoy running this experiment in the run-up to Christmas (when grandparents do their thing...!).
Also, wonderful tip about starting with ourselves first! Heading over to that video now. :)
@@ChristineTorrance-t3e I'm so glad somebody appreciated that joke! LOL. Good luck with trying out this approach! I've gotten some great feedback from others who've already tried a similar approach, which is encouraging that it's working for folks!
For those who just want to get the key points, here’s a summary of the video:
1. Overstimulation from Excessive Toys: Research and experience show that too many toys can overwhelm children, leading to shorter play sessions, interruptions, and a lack of focus. Reducing toy quantity encourages deeper engagement, imagination, and cooperative play.
2. Historical Perspective on Toy Usage: Hundreds of years ago, children had few or no toys, instead using found objects to create their own playthings. The rise of mass production and educational theories led to today’s cultural focus on toys as developmental tools, which may not be necessary.
3. Decluttering Strategy (The 30-Minute Method): The method involves quickly identifying toys that are essential for imaginative and long-term play. The focus is on selecting a minimal, beloved collection and packing away others for a set period to test the effects of a simpler setup.
4. Observing the Benefits of Fewer Toys: After simplifying, children’s play became more creative and focused, lasting longer without interruptions. The reduced clutter fostered collaboration, self-sufficiency, and resourcefulness as they reimagined the available toys in various ways.
5. Experiment-Based Decluttering: Treating the decluttering process as an experiment allows for flexibility. Parents can test the impact of fewer toys before making final decisions, potentially building confidence to let go of unneeded items based on positive results observed.
Our kindergarden has a 3 month period each year that is "toy-free-time". They remove literally every single toy or even crafting supplies.
The kids are left with scarfs, pillows, boxes, tape or blankets. They love it.
I’ve watched a bunch of these videos and nobody has explained this as well as YOU have!! I feel a sense of purpose and less confusion and guilt and paralyzed of where to start this decluttering journey. Thank you so much!!!😊
You are so welcome! I'm thrilled to hear this!
I am a mom of a 3.5 year old and a 22 momth old. I am so glad I stumbled accross this video. It is so freeing!!! Just last night and today I put away so many toys! I could never decide what to put away and what to keep before. This made it so easy! I can't wait to see the difference it will make! Already the lack of clutter is just so nice!! Thank you!
I'm a mom with two yr girl who doesnt like the toys i bought...
Thanks for the video releasing me the obligation to always watching for new toys and games😂
I also have a two year old girl and have been doing the same! She gets bored of a lot of her toys so fast!
I love this. My husband and I read Simplicity Parenting together and drastically reduced the toys available to our children. In the weeks following, our kids would get so deeply into play that they'd play with a single set of toys (like train tracks) for HOURS. It was mind blowing. Nowadays they have found the extra toys in the closet and we're back to the overwhelm. Glad I'm not the only one, and I may do what you suggest in the video. Thank you.
I had a set of Care Bares growing up and I would constantly play with, read or just my imagination outside. Funny how we are over complicating parenting these days. I genuinely can’t remember any other toys than those ones.
I love this. My best memories of play as a kid were ones where I was either making my own toy or game from scratch or just using my imagination with what I had. I really loved making my own toys though. If I wanted something at the store my mom would say something like "you could make a cooler version of that!" She thought she was just keeping me from thinking I could spend all her money on toys but really she was helping me learn creativity and resourcefulness. Usually this involved craft supplies she always made available to us. Sometimes she let us paint over Legos, which maybe some would think is bad, but we made lots of "new Lego sets" we basically saved my parents hundreds of dollars haha
Thank you for sharing this! Makes me feel encouraged that I let me kids draw on their toys, hahaha. My research into the history of toys and play in America taught me that, historically, children made their toys from objects they found in nature and around the house. I thought that was amazing!
This is one of the best videos on RUclips. You speak clearly, calmly, & at a great pace. I usually skip through videos or speed them up-- but not here. This was immensely helpful & educational. Thank you.
Same!
I love this ❤ I did the same thing almost 2 years ago and it’s truly a beautiful experience. I have 3 kids, two who are Neurodivergent. I strongly encourage this method and lifestyle, typical or not, it’s amazing! Not many people would agree with it, but it’s about what’s best for your family. ❤
This is the best!! In 3 short years of being a mom I’m realizing the educational toy rotation hype is sooo unnecessary & borderline damaging. For kids, in terms of restricting and overwhelming imaginative play. And for parents, causing financial strain and guilt of not having the best material items for their kids at every little developmental stage and/or the space mentally or physically to keep track of them. I love how you include quotes from some of my favorite authors.
Wow. I totally agree, my sister and I would have the most sustainable fun with the least.
We had a painters tape roll that we played with in a big empty house that my parents were painting and updating electrical for. I still remember that single play session maybe 20 years later.
Oh my thank you for the idea! A roll of painters tape is much more play for much less money! Lol. And more fun!! What a great memory you have!
Five minutes in and I am so glad your eyes were opened to the developmental scam of these toys! ❤
Thank you, Katy! Only took me four years 🤣
3:55 When kids have less things.. i'd say this is true for adults too. Simple living is beautiful and far more rewarding than always wanting more
Materialism is a suffocating quicksand that sucks the soul right out of us. Less things = more peace
Love this video. I notice this a lot whenever my nephew spends time at my house for two week or so. I have some books for him but hardly any toys. He just naturally starts playing with my kitchen things, cushions, the vacuum whatever he finds really... I sometimes have to remind myself that he spends all morning at kindergarten anyways where he has a lot of things to explore and play with
I always appreciate the calm in your vidoes. You don't have any background "audio clutter".
I just realized as a full grown adult that what I have are some sensory processing issues. I get overwhelmed easily.
But your videos are relaxing to watch and I always learn something. I love decluttering!
Thank you! Im off to bag up some toys. 👌
So happy I found this video! My daughter has an overwhelming amount of toys that end up ALL over her room, and this seems like a great way to reduce them without the stress of having her decide which toys to get rid of forever.
I did this. I got a package of 30lb black trash bags. I filled 10 (TEN.) of them with toys. We have 5 bins (fairly large, 18" x 18" x 36") of toys left out for my 4 children to play. Immediate difference. Calmer play. Longer stretches for play. Happy children. Thank you.
After 3 months I will donate the 10 bags. In the meantime if anyone's asks for a toy that is missing I will get it.
They don't know where the bags are and haven't even noticed 80% of their toys were missing. They are too busy playing together.
Thank you for saving their childhood. Seriously. This was the most important video I have etched this year.
This was incredibly helpful! My son loves legos and cars. I have constantly wondered if I’m giving him enough in different areas of play but even when we have tried branching out, he loses interest and always goes back to the same categories. My hardest part is the books as a homeschooling family! There is always the library so we just need to keep favorites. So glad to see a video from you again!
Thank you!! I agree. Books are a tough area. As I mentioned in the video, I'm doing a book rotation still. I think books are easier to rotate, but I'm not sure if I'll stick with it. I'd like to cover the subject of books too (but it needs some good research first). We've also just started homeschooling this fall, so our book collection is growing. I try to get things from the library, but it doesn't always work out.
The number of GOOD books available at small local libraries.... Flabbergasts me. I grew up in a larger library network, and walking into our local library and not being able to pick up a book on George Washington (not a specific book, ANY non-adult book) was just.... I can't lean on our library. I mean seriously. NOTHING on GEORGE WASHINGTON?!!!!
Needless to say, I will be holding on to our books.
@@elemaster3428 Preach! That's my exact experience. I'm working with my local library to learn more about the resources available to parents and homeschool educators to get specific books quickly. Hoping I can share down the road because I think those of us in smaller networks need extra support in this area.
I am a mom with a now 8 year old son and a six year old daughter and I can attest that this is true. Less really is more. Not only has it eliminated my stress level because of all the visual clutter being gone, but my children's stress level was also significantly reduced of not eliminated. It's okay moms! You know what your house should have in it and what it shouldn't. You got this!!
This is such a wonderful video and couldn't come at a better time. I agree that our children don't mind the missing toys, but grandparents are another story...
I just listened to hunt gather parent on audible.
I have one kid who just turned 3.5. We recently moved into a one room log cabin w a loft. I eft most of our things boxed up in the barn but we still have 3 small shelves of toys and and its just too much. I want to reduce and this was helpful encouragement. Thank you!
You're welcome!
Thank you so much for this! As a new parent to a 6 months old, i recently started noticing the difference in behaviour when my child is surrounded by toys vs. not that many. Although wasn't consciously looking solve this, I found this video at a very fortune moment. Thanks again!
This was one of the very best parenting videos I have watched on RUclips all year. You are making deep and quality content. I really appreciate your honest reflections and your guiding the viewer through your process. Even as a speech therapists and evolving minimalist-ish mom, I am completely overwhelmed by my child’s toys. Especially the grandparent gifts. I declutter constantly and own a lot less than the families we’re friends with but I have still felt completely overwhelmed by the ‘mental inventory.’ I really really appreciate your taking the time to make such a thoughtful video. I have found it so helpful and encouraging and affirming of my gut instinct that our child will do better with even less (even though that is in complete opposition to the cultural norm). Thank you thank you thank you💛
You’re so welcome! I’m so thrilled it was helpful.
Uow! The video I needed. I felt into the same traps (fancy educational toys, complex montessori activities, toy rotation that made me exhausted). They all stopped working after my son was 2 years old. And I am constantly trying to create an environment to make him entertained for longer periods…
Oh God I'm just through the first 2 minutes and it's sooooooo TRUE!!! Rotation system also doesn't work for us!!! He knows where we keep the rest of the toys and asking for those more than the one we provide!! And their focus distraction is so real!!!
Observing children play should have dismissed the idea pretty fast. I just wonder how low iq or how detached a person have to be to fall for such stupidity. Why on earth would anyone think it is smart to force a kid to play with a particular toy for correct mental education? It hurt my brain to read these comments.
So glad to see someone admitting how time consuming rotation systems are! I’d love to hear if you’ve been through gifting seasons and birthdays since implementing this new system. Family love gifting our kids with physical things and seeing their joy in opening things - which then become part of our (cluttered) home. How do you manage to maintain your system whilst managing your kids’ and everyone else’s expectations around gifting?
Yes, please, address this. Birthdays, Christmas, etc. Especially address what grandparents should do. I am a grandma now but raised eight kids. Even though the grandparents would give only one gift per child at Christmas, that's 16 additional toys (two sets of grandparents) that entered the house that one day. It was almost like each kid got 16 new toys because of course they play with each other's toys (though not all ages played with all levels of toys.)
Yes!! Thank you so much! I love that you put so much research into the "why" this needs to happen, not just the how to do it.
I needed A LOT of convincing on this topic, so I had to dive deep on that "why." So glad I did! It's given us enormous freedom. I hope it can do the same for other families!
I've re-watched this video multiple times. I'm a long time follower of Dawn from the minimal mom and was already pretty minimal with kids toys. This video was the push I needed to go even farther and eliminate my toy rotation entirely after recently welcoming my second child and feeling the need for extreme simplicity in this stage of life.
"hundreds of years ago kids had almost no toys"
Kids had no toys 60 years ago unless they were rich.
While it may be beneficial or not, this is the naturalist fallacy
I'm 26, grew up in Kenya and I didn't have any toys. And it's not sth I so long for. They won't die if they only have a couple of toys
Thanks!
I'm so glad it was helpful! And thank you!
We have ALL the lovevery toys. I studied child development and tried to keep it very minimal. We have the same issue with rotations and the toy closet my kids constantly want to pull from. I’m struggling to minimize because it was such an investment and because we are having another on the way. Thank you for this video. I can give this a try!
Yep I started out trying to do minimalist too and still struggled. Lol😊
Yess....I'm low key attached to the lovevery toys...they are nice and they weren't cheap
You can try reselling! I’ve seen a lot on eBay and you can get a good amount back because some parents either don’t want the entire box or lost and item, or just can’t afford it. I’m also a Lovevery mom and that’s what I plan to do. It’s been worth it so far imo 😊
I LOVED THIS VIDEO!!! The information was exactly what I needed to hear. BUT, more than that, seeing a thoughtful and intelligent woman apply her depth and interesting mind towards motherhood. It seems society pits motherhood against career achievement for intelligent women and this, to me, is perfection.
I think I needed to hear this encouragement today. Thank you for your kind comment :)
I have the lovevery subscription as well. Months 0-12 were great (not necessary)--my toddler still loves them. I stopped at adventurer 16-18 month because my toddler would rather play with stuffed animals and cars than his educational toys. It's crazy how many toys we accumulated just from lovevery alone from 0-18 months!
I often feel like when we started lovevery is when we went down the toy rabbit hole. Before, we had a couple open ended things for our then 1 year old and suddenly there was that constant influx of toys. And it came with that philosophy of rotating toys, so there was no harm in accumulating more and more since of course I won't overwhelm my kid, I'd never have everything out at the same time.
And from there it spiraled, until the rotation was overwhelming and toys were everywhere. We have 3 kids now and exactly 2 lovevery toys survived the test of time for us (we stopped middle of the third year I believe).
Nowadays, instead of toy rotation, we have areas of different types of play set up. It looks like a lot since it's all over the place but because like things stay together in a simple system, our 4 and 3 year old easily can clean up every evening.
We only keep what they play with at least weekly - which is a lot since everything has a place and they always know exactly where everything is. But in all their building toys, pretend, dress up and gross motor, there is absolutely no interest in educational toys 😂 except puzzles. Which is a nightmare in itself - but also here, once I found a system they can maintain themselves, it's great.
As much as I despise advertised educational toys for the scam most of them are, I very much enjoy how much our kids play with all their open ended toys, creating their own worlds.
@@ronjab4586 after my second is born and plays with the toys, I'll probably pass on the least loved ones. But I was very clear with my husband and family that I did NOT want a lot of toys which is why I opted for lovevery (not realizing how many toys we would end up getting ☠️).
We have stuffed animals/beanie babies and brio train set passed down from my husband, a play kitchen with random kitchen items as complementary toys that I have multiples of, a tool set, the cars, and the Lovevery 0-18 month subscription in addition to their block set. The only toy I want to add is magnatiles and that's it 🤣 my toddler has played with them in other places and he really seems to enjoy them. I definitely learned that my toddler would rather "play" with items in using like the sink, vacuum cleaner, mop, etc, than his toys most of the time.
I tried more frequent toy rotations and it just doesn't work for me. Our house is very small so we only have the play kitchen in the kitchen and a shelf with 6-8 toys in the living room. I do a monthly toy rotation because we don't have the space to have his select number of toys out all at once. I usually pick 1-2 messy toys (like the blocks, tools, trains, cars etc) and the rest are ones that are easy to put away.
Thank you for this video! I have been declutterring toys recently and donating them, but there is still so much! Toys have over run our home and it causes so much stress. By showing how to take the emotion out of the process, it will really help me to take away more. Between my daughters emotional attachments, mine and my husbands it can be hard. My husband was actually taking things out of the donation box as we were loading the car. I had him listen to your video as well. He is now prepared and agrees to letting more things go. With Christmas around the corner we have even notified our relatives that she has too much and have asked for science kits and crafting items and clothes instead of toys. My 4 year old really wants to be a scientist and is very into discovery and experiments. So we really want her to explore. Thanks again!
Im already an extreme minimalist but you made me decide to declutter 5 more things.
What you decided to keep is what my kids have. We live in a small home and I’ve always been conscious about not buying random toys because of our space. They have what they use and other times they play with furniture, stuffies, they make forts or use their outdoor scooters, bikes. Etc or play in dirt and water. They also like to collect flowers, leaves, bugs.
I really really appreciate that you do a lot of research and reading before making a video! I have been really enjoying watching all your videos since I recently discovered your channel. They're very calming to watch too ❤
I appreciate that! I'm loving doing the more heavily researched videos, though they take between 80 and 120 hours to produce so I may have to limit them to a few a year and fit in some more casual topics as well :)
We went pretty minimal when our kids were little at first out of necessity (we lived in some pretty small spaces) and then because ei saw how much better they played with open space and few toys. To be honest, they okay most with magnet tiles, backpacks, stuffed animals, and things they find around the house. They also are all really creative, choosing to draw, color, craft, build puzzles, and read so much more than they did when we had more. Overall their relationships (there are 4 ranging 7yo-2yo) are so much stronger, they come up with games together, and even have developed a sense for when one is feeling overwhelmed and just needs to be alone for a bit. It's wonderful.
This video was so beautifully done!! After reading Simplicity Parenting, we decluttered 90% of our kids toys (which we felt was previously minimal)… and it was life changing for our family! Thank you for this video, I hope it reaches more families who need it!! ❤️
I love that you had a great experience with it too!
My two children 7 and 5 always had a lot of toys and my daughter’s room was always a mess. Recently, I cleaned up the clutter and made displays out of their playmobil sets and everything that they don’t play with much went into the closet. They don’t even go into the closet for toys now 😂 they love magnetiles and legos but most of all they love the palaces I make them with our L shaped couch. I see my daughter cleaning up after herself without me begging her all day 😮💨 it feels amazing. I plan on decluttering their toys even more as the ones in their closets are almost untouched and collecting dust. Thank you for making this video, it further motivates me to have a minimalistic approach to toys and less toys = less mess = less cleaning
I really love the thought and intention in this video. I have long agreed with the philosophy and I would love to reduce my kids toys further. I used to be able to keep it quite minimal, but in the last few years we have gone through the onslaught of birthday gifts in the first couple of years of school, several Christmases with overly generous relatives, and as the kids are getting older it is getting much harder to keep a lid on it. I would love more info about the 30 minute method your video is suggesting, as I went in for that - as an overloaded working mother I'd love to know how to truly reduce the overwhelm in a 30 minute (or even a one hour) method! Please give us more on that! I get so overwhelmed every time I even think about tackling this huge task.
I feel this works really well with young children but a lot less with older ones. I think at some point we have to let them desire some things (and get them, not all, but some). They go to friend's houses, they get their own money, their own tastes, it's normal they just develop tastes and desires bigger than a few blocks and toys.
I completely agree. While certain aspects this video can be helpful and beneficial for my younger 2 kiddos, it wouldn't necessarily work with or for my 9 year old. Also my kids read dozens of books a day and we definitely need a lot so that we can rotate them in and out.
i am neither a father nor a mother, but I subscribed to your channel because your approach is so calming, and it is amazing to watch you to prep myself to be a future father! Thanks a lot for your marvelous editing & audio work too. ❤
This is all great in theory. I have a few family members that don't respect my minimalist nature. They buy toys non stop. There is no way I could pare this down in 3 hours. Forget 30 minutes. I love your dream life. Before i had a kid i lived there too.
It’s not a dream. You just need to take authority.
I don’t ask people to treat us a certain way, I let them know “we will not be accepting toys any longer. Thank you!”
All the toy gifts that come after that get promptly sent back!
Let them know that the toys that they give your kids will be donated automatically if they cannot respect your wishes and then follow through
Start by throwing out all of the broken/missing pieces toys. That really helps clear some out. Another thing you can do is teach your kids that for every one coming in, one has to leave. Be honest about condition of toys leaving, some need to be trashed, but others can be donated to domestic violence shelters, homeless shelters, sold at yard sales.
Bonus points if you know where a new toy was purchased. Even without receipt, most stores at least give store credit you can use on things you do need or want.
@@tracyjohnson5023I was doing "one in, one out" but it wasn't helping. I now do "one in, FIVE out" and it's a big step forward.
I agree with everything you said in this video.
I have a 4 year old & soon to be 2 year old & we really didn’t have a lot of toys for them. Kids are happy with the simple things in life & i also realize this helps them to use their imagination 😊. I love seeing my kids play great together & how creative they are with using their imagination!
I do agree with you from my experience. I moved to another country with 2 suitcace we were expecting to receive the container after 4 weaks. It came after 4 months. So my kids 3 and 5 years old had almost no toys no tv only play9ng outside in parcs and at home coloring drawing painting. They were way more calm no foghting no anger and didnt miss the toys.
Thank you for sharing!
Fantastic video. We just did something similar for our 4 year old. I appreciate the scientific approach you took to the process, feels validating for getting rid of so much excess
This is such a great idea! My son plays so much better when I take him to parts of the house where there are no toys. Your videos are awesome, please keep making them ❤
Thank you! I will! :)
THANK YOU! My own child can testify to this. I would buy toys and she would play with it once or twice and then seek out every day stuff (water bottles, keys, pots and pans, boxes etc. ) i dreaded the thought of getting more toys because it seem like a waste of money. Now I know why! Totally agree with your video
I really enjoyed this video-- everything from the topic, your work on the research, your approach with the experiment and the way you presented it all. And, the way you explained your previous thought process on educational toys really hit home. Thanks so much for creating and sharing!
My baby is 10 months and has so many toys already. I noticed he doesn’t really like being confined in a big baby playpen with toys, but he’ll rather play with the cardboard box with clothes I want to donate in the room. Interesting video and I observed myself that toys makes my baby ask for “more” and “more”.
Thanks for sharing!!
Thanks for the video. My heart definitely ached a little bit seeing so many Loverey toys going! I stared at these toys online lovingly when bub was a baby, but I just couldn't justify the investment! I am so glad I didnt get them, it would be so hard to part ways with them!! Good on you for that emotional strength!
We do still have a toy rotation but my husband (who is no minimalist by any standard) has mentioned that our 2 year old might be better off with just 3 books and 4 toys out to help her focus - just through his own observations. She currently has 12 -16 books out on her front facing bookshelf and 6 toys on her shelf and a few more lying around in other rooms. I thought that wasn't a lot when I'm bombarded with images of other people's toy rooms looking similar. But I think my husband is right! It's also helpful to hear about what you've found out from reading about this topic as well.
Yeah, unfortunately the Lovevery toys turned out to be more of an emotional burden for mom than a blessing for my kids. And, I've heard as much from other moms who watch the channel. I think you're much better off! Good luck with simplifying things for your little one. I love that your husband is on board too! That's a real blessing!
I've saved this video to watch soon! We live in a small flat with two young children (3&1) and have way too many toys and it's overwhelming. I struggle to declutter, mostly due to sentimental reasons, feeling bad for getting rid of gifts and thinking some toys are beneficial.
My 3 yr old will soon be turning 4 and im dreading a new influx of toys!
Im keen to glean from what you share in this video and hoping for a shift in my thinking!
Thank you for your video! I just wanted to add that it really might be a little bit harder with older children. I have three children, 9, 5 and 2. When my 9 yo gets a present from grandma that he really loves but I don’t…. You know, I don’t think that I can do anything about that. Even though he doesn’t play that often with it, he still has memories attached and doesn’t want to get rid of some things. We still don’t have a lot of toys, but we sure have a lot that I would not have chosen for them earlier in their lives. But it is what it is. I also think the part about the observation and being present but quiet is really good.
Yes, this is our problem! I can clear out most of the 3 year olds room and she wouldn’t notice but my 6 and 8 year old have a very precise mental log of what is theirs and its purposes. So it just a more complicated process for their things- teaching, explaining, coaching- which is of course a good life skill for them, but it is a different process.
It stars with talking to grandma first.
I also preview presents people give my children and decide if they get them or not.
Talk with the present givers and explain that you will not be receiving these gifts any longer
Yes! It makes perfect sense that by reducing the toys they would be more aware of the real world around them.
If someone is expecting another kid, how to declutter and how to save some for the new kid? I do not want to keep buying new stuff if I knew I had in the closet. Then again I can't hold on to everything.
I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Toys are very easy to come by via birthday and Christmas gifts and even thrift stores. You can always keep a small box of a select few things. I used to be concerned about the same thing. Now I have three kids and have a harder time keeping things out of the house. We’ve received toys for younger kids that I’ve declutterred in the past with my older child. They keep coming back like a boomerang! 😂
Thiiis is so interesting! I actually learnt new things that I didn't know. We reduced in half the amount of toys with my kids, we donated what we could and I plan on decluttering even more. It feel like a weight lifted up off my shoulders. Kids are also content and play more.
As a mom for the last fifteen years I fell into all those developmental toy scams even buying the Your Baby Can Read with my first. Because they knew i was an emotional ball of hormones and fearful new parent. 😅 And then with my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th which i had 8 years later and consecutively they all just played with the open ended toys that I had curated. No more baby toys that have promises a mile wide. And guess what? My kids still know how to do all those finemotor skills etc. Without the junk.😊
YAAASSS! That's honestly what happened with my second. We had all the Lovevery toys and guess what, his mom kept forgetting to rotate them. He developed his fine motor skills by drawing and by picking up extremely tiny things he found on the floors. LOL.
I want to do this for myself!! I think the excess of fabric and yarn I own actually limit my creativity. But what great advice for everyone! Thank you!
You should! Such a great idea!
Love all this, how do you plan on handling Christmas as in will you buy new toys for your kids and what do you think of family? In the past I have asked profusely to give experiences for my kids and we only do 1 toy gift for each child but grandparents and aunts/uncles who mean well always give toys and it is frustrating.
Great question! I was wondering the same thing. We’ve got a birthday coming up for my almost 5 year old and he’s already talking about all the toys he’d want 😅. All the other birthday parties we’ve been to this year, his favorite part was when the birthday kid opened the presents and seeing the toy . Would be thinking about how I could be doing this differently this year.
@@CorneliaPauline @molls784 These are really important questions. Especially if you've already tried to set the boundary with the family and your preferences/recommendations weren't listened to. I've had quite a few questions along these lines so I'm going to schedule a Live Q&A to address it there. It will be available as a regular video after, so no worries if you can't join the Live.
@@papertownhome oh love this and thank you!! Great video you’ve created and made there and love following all the discussions on this thread. Keep it up 🔥
Such a good question, looking forward to your answers!
Okay, I didn’t even reach half of the video but I had to stop and say THANK YOU! I’ve read many educational books , bought many similar toys (often times the same) as you have. The rotation of toys drove me crazy and my kid’s reaction was the same as yours. The importance of your videos relies on helping how to do this change when before l thought I was doing the right thing for my kids. In the past I had noticed that after declutterring the kids always played better.
I have decluttered almost all of our toys and we didn't have a lot to begin with. I started by telling my toddler (2) that if he didn't pick up his toys, they would go away. He would look me in the eyes, wave his hand and say, "bye bye." They happily watch as I packed up the toys and donated them. Now if he doesn't want a toy he simply tells me and it has only been a few months. He doesn't ask for toys and I have never fought a toy out of his arms while in a store, he's happy to put them back.
That's so awesome! Thank you for sharing. It's so encouraging to hear that even young children can have this attitude with things when it's been modeled.
Моя дочь помнит и играет во все игрушки и даже поломанные не хочет отдать. Она согласна даже убирать их по местам😮чтобы я не отдала...
I’ve started slow recently by putting some toys away. Just one bag at the time. NONE was remembered or asked for. Bag after bag after bag. I was shocked, to be honest. I think your method is great - quick and eye opening.
I love a slow approach like yours too! Allows you time to learn and gain confidence!
This is intense. I love it! ✨ I heard Diana Kokku say that she felt her children couldn’t keep their toys tidy even though they were simplified a ton and I could relate. But the solution wasn’t what I wanted to hear either… simplify more! Needless to say I’m inspired by your video & confidence that they don’t need them! 💐
@@AmeliaUnleashed I actually watched the video where she said that today!
Oh and I should also thank-you for the distinction between exploration and play -game changer! 🌹
And a quick question. Did you keep any cars/trucks? That is a huge category in our household with 2 boys.
Grama of 8 year old girl, full time grandparenting for almost a year. First, I love this video! Thank you! Second, right away we were choosing to have less. I already believe less is better. Now we've gone through Christmas and her birthday and I really believe this will help me with helping her have less. It felt like things were getting to be too much. She doesn't have any siblings to play with and she longs for that, and I wish we had room for large boxes like that and didn't mind our couch cushions on the floor getting walked all over. You parents definitely have more freedom with all that and I just loved watching that in this video. I suppose at 8 years she wouldn't be pulling the cushions off the couch, but maybe she would if she felt free to do so. 😀
This was timely! I was just lamenting to a friend this morning about how the toy rotation system was not working for us & how I've noticed that they really only play with a few toys consistently and deeply. I really hate having a toy closet that I have to manage. I'm going to try this! Question though - how would you handle incoming toys from bdays/christmas/grandparents while doing this experiment & afterwards?
I suggest family to gift experiences (such as an annual zoo pass or a day of fun at the amusement park). It just has to be an activity we do as a family together. It puts emphasis on the value of experiences and not things.
Also, asking for practical items to gift (new bedding set, next size up clothing, etc.).
My husband and I also don’t buy any new toys. That way if someone really wants to buy a toy for a birthday or Christmas, we aren’t inundated with an excess amount of toys.
We also declutter around every Christmas and birthday.
I have the same question. We have a constant inflow of new stuff from several sources. A lot of times I’ll accept the gifts then immediately donate or toss them before my kids are even aware of them, but it doesn’t always work.
One in one out rule applies to everything
The title of the video doesn't do it justice. This is very thoughtfully presented and well researched.
I guess my question is what would you recommend for Christmas or birthdays?
And what if relatives insist on giving lots of toys and get upset if you donate them etc.?
I’d suggest letting them know you’d like a membership to a museum or zoo or aquarium
@@andreabrand5343and if they still insist on giving an actual object?
@@rebekahtablante327 what I personally do is ask for things that they like that are like expansions (more magnatiles, things that will work in her dollhouse) but I know that’s a slippery slope. I also like “consumable” things like play doh, slime (I’m crazy I know), craft supplies
Disposables like art stuff I'm
So many great suggestions already! Gonna address this in a future Live! It's a question that's coming up a lot. :)
Thank you for this video. It's like you read my mind. I've recently started decluttering my kid's toys because I noticed they only play with a few things. The rest of it is in the way!