My Stupid 21 yr Old Lives At Home
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
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She's probably been calling him stupid for years and now her son has low self esteem and Zero motivation to do anything....
This☝🏽
Yep. Emotional abuse. It is worse than physical abuse.
Yea.
I doubt shes calling him stupid in the house just cause she said it once on here, give me a break snowflakes.
@@whitegoodman7465 i am emotionally hurt because you called me snowflake.
Me, a 22- year-old chemistry student commuting from home:
*Sweats profusely*
The big word there is student. You have a reason to stay home Longer.
Same lol. I’m not going into debt $10k a year when my parents are 20 minutes from the university lol. I’m biochem so I feel your pain.
@@tristanskipworth4377 *still goes into 10k of debt a year because of useles college.
@@americachillout9386 what I am doing is not useless at all...an art degree is. I actually get a check cut to me becuase I worked and got scholarships.
@@tristanskipworth4377 nice im glad you are a good worker!!
Sounds like more of a case of poor parenting than a "stupid child." Boys need leaders/coaches, not dictators.
*****
The mother could have tried to teach him but in the end he is an adult and has made his own decisions. Who does he hang around with and what influences have his school had on him.
I send my children to private school and know exactly what the ethic of the school is. There are not liberal civic classes. No black history week. No transgender awareness days. No day trips to cultural centers.
The children are taught by experience to treat others with respect and how to be independent. Children could be sitting in school all day with a liberal teacher who does not but teach them about communism.
Not necessarily. Could be ADHD.
Arsene Remy so true this lady is an idiot,
Arsene Remy an authoritarian parent isn't too bad
@TheJerseyJenn I went to a private school and it was a GREAT experience!!
I’m 27 and still live at home. I have no debt and I’m saving 60% of my income. $16K goes to 401K. $16K goes to investments. $2k goes to my HSA. $4K goes towards vacation. I have 3 months wages in an emergency fund. I pay rent to my parents so we can pay the mortgage. Staying at home isn’t always a bad idea.
Well you’re paying rent, so that pretty much sums it up
Not everyone has that option.
You make wise decisions
Good job. It’s helping them and you. Save up to buy your own house instead of renting and paying someone else’s mortgage.
@@prometheuspredator7971 Why? If he says what is true, he could probably retire in his mid 40's and actually enjoy retirement and not a time where he's shitting in depends all day.
You're an idiot if you think retirement needs to be at 65.
My goal is to retire in my 30's/40's. Not 65-70s.
If he has the option to stay home, and pay rent and help his parents. So be it.
Parents that bash their kids bother me so much. We, as parents are responsible for equipping our children for real life. We cannot wait until they are 21 to teach them how to be responsible
YES! The caller Mom sounds so smug about her 'stupid' son and fails to see that he is that way because of her.
@@philipmurray9796 some kids just don't learn..... 🤷♂️
Typical baby boomer. They deny root cause and don’t take responsibility for their mistakes.
@@Bierman2121 thanks for calling the boomers out. Ramsey is the worst kind of Boomer too. Good financial advice, bad social advice. God help you if you take dating or relationship advice from Ramsey.
Agreed. It’s gotten better now but growing up, my parents rarely complimented me and the negative comments and the parenting out of fear were much more frequent. It’s set me back so much in the ways of low self esteem, depression, anxiety, and lacking the confidence to go out and try things by myself to the point that I always took the easy road. Even though now I know I’m actually capable of more/better, not trying earlier in my life has impacted me in so many ways. I believed I truly was stupid, less deserving, and incapable at pretty much everything. Now they wonder why I’m depressed and apathetic to life. Currently in therapy trying to change things at 24 y/o.
Parents, please be careful w/what you say to your kids because *your* words become their inner voice, and you will end up reaping what you sow.
Parents out here expecting children to automatically know life skills by a certain age like it's a dlc 🤣
*Turns 18* "Congratulations, you have purchased the 'do everything by yourself' DLC!" *Tries to buy a margarita* "Please purchase required DLC"
Are you Pamela’s son 😂😂😂
@@EllieofAzeroth loll
Gen Z much?
My parents never sat me down and taught me anything about money. Money is common sense. The first few times you run out of money before your next check you figure it out. It's not really hard.
The way she talks about her son makes me sad
BBD Design exactly what I was thinking
She’s a dunning Krueger.
She a KAREN!
@BBD Design well what do you expect, the man is a lazy disrespectful dude.
@port nut You're sad
I moved out of my mom's house the day I walked out with my wedding dress at 26 years old. Before that I went to college, worked retail, helped my mom with rent and paid my bills. At 26 my mom still didn't want me to leave. 'Till this day my mom tells me I can move back in whenever I want. I am 30 years old and married, but it's nice to know my mom wants to keep me forever 😊😍.
itssandytime LOL Well, at least you have a good, caring mom. Good to know that if anything ever happened, you would still have something to fall back on.
?
That's nice.
Mom kind of sounds at enabling...
.......and what's your marriage like? Mom always meddling?
Gosh I divorced his dad and married an abusive army rat and we both yell at him and call him stupid, why isn't he a high functioning adult yet?
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I WONDER
😂😂😂
Lol
HMMMMMMMMMMMM xd HMMMMMMM
Lol I love when parents complain about stuff like this. If your kid doesn't understand basic life skills it's because YOU didn't teach them. Keep them alive and teach them how to stay alive when you're not there. That is your only job. My parents would complain all the time about me not knowing so many things. I'd always think how annoying it was since now I have to read books to learn basic stuff my parents should of taught me while at the same time being screamed at for not just being born already knowing the information. Drives me insane.
Team Shmo yea it's odd. I see a lot of American parents doing this. They don't take the time and effort to actually teach their kids life skills. My parents never complained because they were constantly teaching me useful life skills.
Agree 100%. I think this is prevalent in minority (Spanish) homes, especially. My parents didn't teach my crap--I'm 19 learning how to cook and trying to get a grip on personal finance as best I can. At least I don't have debts
Exactly. I don’t get why people reproduce only to complain about their children throughout their life.
I'm from Naperville. This is not an unusual kind of mindset
Gee Cee Based on what i see in society these days, far fewer people should be reproducing.
My son is turning 21 this year and he still lives with me. He works full time and has $30000 in the bank. I told him he can stay with me as long as he wants. I would love him to pay cash for his first house.
I think that if I would have been thrown out from my parents house as Dave usually advises, I would never talk to my parents again.
Yes, they are not obligated at 21 to keep me in their home but I also am not obligated to acknowledge them as parents or human beings. This can go both sides.
Imagine hating your kid so much to the point where you call him “stupid” to other people. No wonder the kid doesn’t listen to her.
This was ridiculous.
She said he's terrible with money, mooches, and calls him STUPID
Where, oh where, would he learn these things? AT HOME??? Does she see that the way she speaks about him is a reflection of her?
Logic Bombs not true at all, my father is irresponsible, doesn't work, and mooches of his mother but I'm the complete opposite working and going to school (had to take a semester off to get more money). My point being that you can't compare someone to their parents
@@gangatalishis exactly you are your parents until you have a personality of your own, roughly 13 -15 or so you are your own person and can make your own decisions good or bad...You can continue to do what you lived with or you can be your own person at that point...
Don't forget the 'forceful' aka probably abusive stepdad she picked for him
thats why i dont talk to my mom anymore. I started paying her bills at 17. (27 now) one day a few months back she decided to name call me on facebook for the world to see.
ooh ok, yea im the problem. youre talking trash about me on facebook.
@@HereIsWisdom1318 whats stupid about that? Do you think that 21 year olds live in the same conditions as the generations before?
I don't understand this culture of shaming people that choose to stay at home until they are financially secure. Why would you willingly put yourself into a strenuous situation when there's an easier way that gets the same result? To brag about how you are independent? Okay, you live an independent, stressful, paycheck to paycheck lifestyle. Meanwhile, the person that saved while staying at home is able to afford a nice place to live without any unnecessary stress.
I stayed with my parents until I was 27, but i worked full time and paid them rent... I was able to pay off all my student loans and be debt free before I met my wife and bought a place of my own
Ryan Cook thats the way to do it man.
I think you are missing the point. Dave is not shaming this individual for living at home, it is the fact that he is not budgeting his money and living far beyond his means - hence the comment that he spends his paycheck in 1 week leaving a week without money until the next paycheck. This is not about shaming, it is about teaching. I know many individuals who have lived at home rent free because their parents allowed them to, but they took full advantage of the opportunity and saved like mad. They took the $300/$500/$1000 whatever amount they would have spent on rent, utilities, etc. and saved it or used it to pay off debt.
Honestly, you could completely ignore the fact the guy lives at his parents. He is financially dumb and needs teaching. The fact that he lives at home just gives his parents the leverage to force him to learn, and unfortunately for some of us that is the only way that we do.
I agree. I'm 21 and live at home. But I'm doing it for logical financial reasons. I am in school, (pre-nursing student) working part time & I have a goal plan of when I plan to move out. Make sure you hear the situation first before judging other people's lifestyle choices. Very important.
Yep, I agree and I actually know of many students who are doing that exact same thing, I myself included. But what I don't understand is if it's economically viable for the individual to stay home and pay partial of his or her income on rent or whatever, while the rest go's to paying down the rent; why not after paying down the debt can't we just stay with our parents, and spend a larger portion of our money on saving up for a house and retirement, rather than spending a huge proportion of our money on rent, and food? Also, what if some of us are still single, and have no plans of getting married; therefore, no two income household?
Some of these parents that call in are just awful. Their kids have got to hate them. I hope they enjoy the nursing home.
He lives with them must don’t hate that much
@Jaz Caddell, he is irresponsible with money while living with them. At his age, he shouldn't be asking his mom for money. His parents are already housing him for free and he needs to get two jobs if his job is not paying enough. He is just taking advantage of them. Tbh I am jobless but that is because of depression and OCD. I am getting help but I don't ask my parents for a single dollar. The pain of having no job at my age is depressing and I really wish I was 18 again so I can start over.
If you’re enjoying a nursing home that means you’re a good parent. A bad parent makes their kids take care of them to avoid a nursing home
@@mayataylor5743Maybe he doesn’t have a choice
You don't bake a cake in the oven for 21 years then blame the oven for not baking it right. It's the chef's fault it didn't come out right.
gimpinmypants
What about schools and his friends are they an influence as well.
Could he also be suffering from depression.
All of this could be beyond the mothers control.
gimpinmypants Actually it's not. Some kids are just destined to be stunted. Best solution is to set them free so they can fly a few years.
gimpinmypants
Let the kids save some money. What are the stats on empty nesters divorcing? Pretty high, I'll bet. Maybe the problem starts with the parents and society? No?
americans are obsessed with kicking their kids out, and the kids about leaving even if they live with 3 roomies, eating noodles, not saving anything
Moms’ got a chip on her shoulder. Sounds like an abusive household.
Then he should leave… hes been an adult for 3 years
American parents be calling their child stupid on international radio, kicking them to the streets. But when they old and the kid sticks them to retirement home
**confused pikachu noises**
My 20 year old daughter is living at home. She finished high school at the #7 school in the country with a 4.65 GPA. She could have gone to nearly any school she wanted. She opted to stay at home and finish college debt free. All her friends who left for Ivey league schools and high priced programs are on "free rides" but are amassing debt to covering living expenses.
She plans to finish nursing school and become a CRNA. She impresses me with how level headed she is about what she wants. I'm retired military and I explained that when she finishes college we would get her a good credit card and how to use it, how to buy a good used car, and early investments. She is the type if I tell her to start investing because that's what you are supposed to do, she will.
My 10 year old wants to start now. Next summer he wants a lawn business. I showed him a video on compound interest and he is ready to start!
Aikidoman06 That is excellent parenting! You're doing right by your children, and thereby increasing their chances at success. If only more parents were as hands-on as you are.
This comment is super old, but I'm assuming by now your kids are older, you did a great job!!
Samira yeah I agree! I would like to know the outcome of these events if at all possible! Good job!
4.65????
@@normanreeves3536 In some high schools, you can take college classes which are out of a 5.0 instead of a 4.0. Some also offer honors courses to receive up to a 4.5 or 5.0 GPA as well. That's a hard GPA to get but it is possible.
Weird parents. This lady just wants to kick out her son. Calls him stupid, said "ok!" happily when Dave brought up the fact that her kid might be homeless if they throw him out without a car. Dave's advice is spot on here though, help him move out but don't tear the relationship apart.
IJest
The mother is probably at wits end with her 21 year old man son who clearly cannot look after him self.
I bet you he has a mobile phone but yet cannot pay his way in life. He probably plays video games yet cannot pay his way. He probably drinks alcohol but cannot pay his way.
When I was at university there was people who spent all of their money on drink and had none for food. How does that make sense.
That man child needs tough love. You know cut the line for him.
Dave, when we were 21 there were actual Full Time Jobs. The job market is SICK nowadays. The step dad probably wants the kid out and she is going along with it.
there plenty of full time jobs or he can get two part time
Good luck with that, they change his days and hours weekly. They do this on purpose so it's almost impossible to have 2 jobs.
+pepela not true, morning job-evening job- I did it
+TheJerseyJenn cool! science field doing what?
There are jobs everywhere.
The best part about kicking there son out is the fact that he has no relative skills or experience that employers nowadays look for. So when he fails to get a job and or keep one, then maybe he'll start commiting crimes to pay for his own living and probably end up in jail where your tax money will go to supporting him haha. Full circle.
Did your brother receive any support from charity or government? How did he survive without succumbing to ammonia or any other health risks? I believe he either got support from someone, or he was able to apply a skill to a certain demand (a job) and was fortunate enough to get off the streets before he did succumb to health issues (hygiene also comes to mind). Or... he is actually Bear Grylls son, In which case i can understand how he survived now.
steve b Its supposed to be "their", but whatever champ.
What if i have a job, and i dont live with my parents? Assume much? Dont let other peoples comments get to you man, it makes you look ripe for trolling.
So parents should never force their children to grow up because it will force them to turn to a life of crime?
I'm sure anyone would be matured if they were completely on their own. I was just mentioning alternatives, if gov assistance isn't cutting it, or charity is not enough to live on during times of need. But assuming the person is struggling marketively to get a job, and thus an income, than I wouldn't be surprised if they committed petty crimes such as, shoplifting, stealing, and so on for money.
me watching this with 23 and living with my parents 👁👄👁
Someone needs to come up with a dorm apartment system for kids out of high school that can't afford anything. Make it so you can rent space on a minimum wage.
I didn't move out of my parents place until I was 23. If I had moved out earlier, I would have done anything to stay out. Once you get a taste of not having to put up with your nagging parents, you never want to go back. So get them on their own so they get over the fear of having to fend for themselves. That's really all it takes.
I agree. I'm 20 and getting ready to start work for the summer. Probably gonna get a studio apartment. But every here the prices are still hella expensive for a decent place.
Rexx Thunder or maybe pay a living wage so people can afford rent?
I moved out when I was 18. I rented a house with three other people, worked part-time, and went to college. Renting a house or an apartment with other people allows the possibility of splitting up the cost of rent.
Sounds like a typical 21 year old to me. Give the kid a break. Coach him and have expectations sure. But don’t call into a radio show and call him stupid. Terrible parenting
I 20 years old, i work part-time, in nursing school and i give my parents $200 a month for rent.
I dont have a car and walk or take the bus or train with my free public transportation pass
It’s not an income problem.
It’s not a spending problem.
It’s a parenting problem.
As a mother, I don't relate to this woman at all... it would take more than my kid being a lousy saver for me give up on him/herI wouldn't be surprised if the stepdad has been borderline abusive with her son.
melijaje06 This mother also fails to realize that it's her OWN teachings that are resulting in her "loser" 21 year old.
Yeah I kinda think maybe she just wants her son to move out so maybe she could start a family with her 12 year old husband and say goodbye to her past and have a life or just go do things. Sad to see parents will place whatever happened in a failing relationship and don’t maintain a relationship with their kids.
She sounds toxic. And the stepfather definitely is.
I'm 25 and I am about to move out but the reason I stayed was because it took me a few years to find my career job and I saved up money to buy a home. Smarter than trying to save while flushing money away in an apartment.
Hmmmmm how much money where you saving per month? Thinking about doing this as well.. i'm currently 23
+Alonso Gadea in about 8 months I was able to save close to 10 grand.
GamerNRetro did you contribute financially toward the bills while you lived with your parents?
They didn't ask for it. It be one thing if they saw me just blowing my money on stupid stuff but since they saw I was saving up for a house, they were supportive of it. They too share the same idea that it is dumb to rent just because I'm paying towards something that will never be mine. I guess it's one of those ends justify the means type deals. Because they were so generous in letting me do that, I am a single 25 year old who owns his own home and lives comfortably.
GamerNRetro Awesome. congrats man!! I hope to follow in your foot steps :)..advice? thoughts?
Poor kid. cant choose your parents.
I can relate to this. My parents taught me absolutely nothing growing up and just expected me to just know everything after high school. Didn't know about savings, credit scores, how to plan future ect. I was lucky enough to find some outside guidance and get my life together.
I can relate as I'm currently 17, I'm learning financial stuff on RUclips
My parents taught me but not by actually sitting down and teaching me. They gave pretty much every real life example of what not to do lol
Step one: stop hating your son so much that the only things you have to say about him are negative
during the 2008 market crash how many people had to live with there family .funny dave teaches money destroys relationships .my sister did this to me when i had financial problems now she lost her job lost her car and home and comes to me for help, because now i own a home have cars money credit , careful on who you cast judgement.
The worst mom calling your kid stupid smh 🤦♀️
Times have changed good paying jobs are harder to find these day's.
***** Good paying is not moving out till he has plenty of cash saved for big purchases as in not working for the Banks.
perhaps a decent job, not necessarily a good job, requires you to know how to spell...think about it, reread your comment and try to figure it out.
findAplaceToCallHome I have a great job.
findAplaceToCallHome I have zero debt with my home paid in full,I do have good debt which is 3 rental properties that pay me well so never assume when you don't know someone and by the way savers are loser's ever hear of Rich Dad Poor Dad.
Danny Smith I
Wait he's stupid because he's working? It's part time of course his paycheck is gone. Just ask for more hours. Don't call a working man stupid. I was on my own at 20, living off minimum wage. It is possible.
Renewed_ Mind777 you made it work, why can't this dude?
She's not a good mother. He's only 21. If you taught him well and helped him instead of being the type of person to call ur kid stupid as if you didn't raise him w the values he has he would be more well equipped. Help him to learn to win on his own not talk down on him for trying n not making enough
He’s 27 now I wonder how he’s doing
I thank God this is not my custom we all help each other out as a family
My kids are working and successful. I'm glad that they aren't living in our basement.
@@jimroscovius As a 24 yr old who got my own apartment since when I was 22, I'm really glad that I don't depend on my parents. It helps them save their money for retirenment.
@@GUURL101 You could also have stayed home and contributed to the bills, rather than pay rent to a stranger. That would have also helped them save for retirement.
@@GUURL101 and when my father is too old to work I’ll take care of him just like how he took care of me?
Same here. I think it's awful what Americans take for normal and good.
Mom: "I was out at 19"
Son: *"Mom I can't sleep with men to get by like you did"*
i mean whats stopping him
@@bbseal6174 men with money probably dont want some random homeless 21 year old they got much better options
@@yourvirtualdad maybe. but if you're just doing it for money then you've got the whole internet to work with.
@@bbseal6174 He is a man. An average looking girl can make thousands on only fans stripping, a top 10% looking guy can't make a dime.
if you let junior stay in your home without paying rent, and letting him use your car, he will think that his cash is all play money.
Wow so you’re a “guest” in the home you grew up in? Some of these American households act so cold to their kids. Just remember that there will be a time when you’re old and will need your kids help. Pretty sure they will remember being kicked out at 18...
kman20 yaaaa it goes both ways
It's just the way it is here. Then when the parents get old the kids stick them in a retirement home.
@BBD Design wdym the staff works in fear? I haven't noticed that, they seem to love him
@BBD Design huh, I never really noticed that before, what did his employees post their opinion on? Like on Twitter or Facebook or.....?
@BBD Design oh ok gotcha, that's an interesting observation
In the current economy and job market, anyone who expects their kid have their shit together before 24 is smoking some strong substances. Maybe its different depending on where you live, but here in Toronto, its near impossible to live anywhere decent if you make less than 40k by yourself.
Yup. I'm from Toronto and in 2020 this is truer than ever. Gotta move out 2 hours east or west at least to rent reasonably, and even then its not guaranteed.
Not true in the US. The average household income is still only around 50k. Depending on where you live and how you manage money, you can make it.
If her stupid 21 year old is still living at home, that’s her stupid fault. She must’ve been a great parent. What a role model. Well done. I wonder how she stays so single. Sounds like she’s completely failed as a parent to me.
At 21 he could still be going to college, relax.
I don't like the idea of calling a child stupid. Now, Pamela needs to have a serious conversation with her son and let him know her expectations. Guys do mature slow in some cases, but it's time to grow up for his own good.
He's 21. Not really a child.
BlakeMcTavishe 21 is definitely a child. Just because you may legally be able to do certain things at that age doesn't mean you have the sense to know what you're doing.
On paper he's not a child, but some 21 year olds are still children between the ears.
Clutch Cargo Society says he's an adult so he shoulf act like one.
The brain dosen't finish developing until age 26
There's such a difference in culture when it comes to staying at home between the US and the UK. In the UK it's generally encouraged to stay at home rent free until you are financially secure. Living in London, most people stay in their parents home until at least 25 because housing is so expensive.
I agree. this is mostly an American dilemma. The sad and realistic fact is that nowadays young adults are swimming in all kinds of student debt, working 2 jobs and juggling to stay afloat. Not many young adults can afford to buy a home, have kids, or even enjoy leisure time. But we are constantly reminded of how ungrateful and lazy we are.
What about the. kids who demand money and car and they spend all their own money on drinking or drugs and CLOTHES!!!
Lori Penzato well that says more about the parents than the kids IMO.
I am 21 jobless and i still live with my parents its killing me i am so depressed like my parents dont even care that i live with them they dont want me to get a job they dont let me hangout with my friends.i am a college dropout.whenever i ask them about getting a job then they keep saying that if you are a college dropout student then you will never get a job in anywhere this sucks what should i do my life is a whole mess.btw i am asian.
@@min_swon2841 ..you can get a job .start somewhere .there are places that will hire you without experience.even if it's a weekend at a department store..and...I cant believe your parents told you that ..I guess they dont want you to move out and on with your life ,that's so selfish of them..and you do need friends!..
My kids are everything for me,no matter what theirs ages,I love they're still stay in my house,because life just once and the important thing in my life more than anything is my children☺😙
Good mother
cant he be like Rachel Cruze and get a job at her dad's company?
Shots fired!!
Tool.
Usually, kids learn bad spending habits from the parents. I think the caller allowed her son to get away with not being financially responsible for a long time and now it's a problem.
I’m very glad this woman is not my mother. I would be depressed, homeless and doing nothing with my life if I had to listen to her everyday. Imagine what she sounds like BEHIND closed doors? Woof.
Edit: He’s 28 now and I’m dying to know what he’s doing now.
In Hispanic culture, it’s normal for you to stay in your parents home until you get married. Tbh, it’s more logical. Personally, my mom says that as long as i’m studying and making myself a productive member of society, I can stay in my home 🤷🏻♀️ I don’t get when parents make their children pay rent if there’s no economical need to do so.
Same situation here. I’m in a community college with a full time job. I just turned 20. My parents are okay with me at home as long as I’m helping them and I’m college.
This woman sounds like a terrible mom, she gave Dave small pieces of the puzzle to justify herself.
Not once did I hear Dave ask, or the mom say, what the kid was wasting his money on. There’s probably bad habits there that need to be addressed as well.
As a mom who has a lost a child just the title makes me feel sick. This is her fault. Probably degraded him all his life and didn't teach him the fundamentals of being an adult. I would never belittle my child like that. SMH.
There is a reason why I joined the Army. Haha
+Tyler P Thank you for your service.
They say that in the army, the pay is mighty fine (who said that ish?)
+Daryl A ask any military at the front line and they'll say that it isn't worth it for the money
+Bart Van Riel relax mr. patriot. I spent 7 years in the army. I was reciting an army cadence said while marching.
+Bart Van Riel They Say That in the Army g.co/kgs/AnX0a
You have a horrible attitude towards young people. I would never throw my child out in the street. Just like I wouldn’t throw my mother out in the street. Both are FAMILY and will always be family no matter how old they get. If your child disrespected you then that’s your fault for not earning respect. Respect is earned not just a given.
So you disrespect every person that you meet in your life, because they didnt earn your respect??? You are an IDIOT !!!
@@aster6010 There's a big difference is disrespecting someone you JUST MET and disrespecting a parent who happens to be a POS.
Ha. Had to message my mom to make sure it is not my brother. Maybe Naperville should start a support group for this kind of issue.
+pinknoted Naperville is nice area
Yes, it is; and quite affluent , too. So if the adult children never learned responsibilities nor independence along the way, both parents and the growing children are at fault. Coddling a child is s terrible form of abuse because it cripples them. Then we ALL get to pay for their adult, irresponsible lifestyles and become their support as well. Parents, stop being your children's buddies and bankrolls and start being parents even if it is decades later than it should be. All of you -- grow up.
SafePet Haven Naperville has plenty of jobs and Chicago is close by, which also has plenty of jobs. I don’t see anything wrong with living at home at that age to save money though.
Christian Chichester I know, I grew up there.
The difference is that the parents of this generation didnt teach them to be better adults than they were. Where do you think spending habits come from, where do you think successful children get the ideas that make them successful. Trauma or good parenting
My parents were intelligent people and I turned out (relatively) the same. Can't blame anyone but herself for the way her son turned out. Clearly she failed by the fact she couldn't get him to attend College or tradeschool in the first place.
I'm 25 married and living in my own house. I have a mortgage of $245k but I paid lump sums early, remainding sum is $175k. House is worth $420k now, so $245k in equity and around $40k in savings and investments. Good position for my first child on the way!
California is so expensive, it is normal for even 30 year olds to live at home LOL. An old 3 bedroom home costs 1 million dollars.
Not 30 tho..?
Imagine growing up in her household. No wonder he is rebellious
I get the frustration but don't call your own child stupid
Sounds more like a stupid mother problem. ''I was out at 19'' - Yeah, but you probably got knocked up by the boy's father who moved you in with him and took care of you and you've probably never held down a job in your life. Not to mention how it's much more costly to be on your own or to do practically anything these days in comparison to when you were ''on your own''.
This is the type of woman who, at the most, probably has a part-time (sit down) job or works 4 hours a day, being a cashier at a supermarket who complains about not being able to stand for long periods of time because her cankles swell up on her.
I got kicked out at 16. Was a nurse by the time I was 20.
I made it
what did you go through in those 4 years? Our son left at 16 and hes almost 18 now. While he is fully employed drugs have become a main part of his life.
Kudos to you Haley 👍 hard work pays off
It was surely very hard for you and im happy that you made it, but i think that if you lived in a warm household, you shouldnt have to experience all those stress and maybe you made it even better. 16 year olds are still children, you cant expect that children are going to act more mature than they are. Even 21 year olds arent biologically adults because their brains arent developed as the brains of adults. Expecting adolescents to act more mature than they are, is very harmful for their emotional and psychological development.
Great way to talk about your child.
I lost braincells listening to this.
IS dave trying to score with her or what?
This poor kid is broken. Boys like this are seeking love from their mom...it’s textbook. I bet she’s been calling him stupid. I can tell just by how she talks...he’s a beaten down puppy. Wow
“We are a blended family” 🙄 She’s just trying to get rid of her son so she has more privacy w her husband. She should work hard and give him the tools and guide him so her son can make good decisions.
Not true I'm 31 haven't left the nest and am building 3 companies. I'm as driven as ANYONE out there and then some.
I do my own laundry thank you. Plus live with my dad not mom
u don't have to explain urself to anyone.... u live with it dad as long as u want... u seem responsible... good luck my friend
You're in a safe place, you're with your family, and you're striving to be a success all on your own. If I had adult children living with me, I'd be over the moon. I believe that family is the most important bond we have on this Earth, and if we can't rely on family then there is no one we can rely on. We are probably the only advanced country that treats children and elderly parents like red-headed step children the second they become a perceived 'burden.' Family should NEVER be considered a burden!!!!!
Eventually it will be seen as him in your nest if he gets old enough lol
roy alfred seaberg Agreed. My ex is Hispanic and she lived with her Mom, Grandparents and Aunt growing up in NYC. They saved and bought an apartment building in NYC and houses in Florida. Smart planning in my book.
America has no idea what "family" means
Yes because watching one Dave Ramsey video gives you an accurate portrayal of how the rest of the country lives. Give me a break.
@@MD-pz3cn He's right though.
This mother sounds like a piece of work. Financial education is not taught in school so where else would he learn it? It is the parents job to teach your kids to be independent.
What's with the criticism of men who are ex-military? I heard a woman complaining about her husband's "harsh" treatment of their children and she said, "When he tells them to do something he expects them to do it." DUH! Shouldn't ALL parents have that expectation? My husband was retired Navy and I consider that ONE of the things I respected the most about him.
agree
this works with some people, as long as it is reasonable. my brother was constantly being yelled at and completely shut down. he still lives at home now and gives his paycheck to our parents because he doesn't know how to manage it well. he doesn't have confidence to do much of anything now.
+David Reynolds yep. and there are other people just like that who rely on their parents. honestly I don't know. I wish there was a place you could drop these people off when that happens who could watch them, so they won't be a burden on family members.
My father wasn't ex-military but he definitely had high expectations and expected things done when he said. Haha made my transfer into the military somewhat of a cake walk.
I get annoyed when parents call there kids dumb for not being fiscally responsible. You had 20+ years to teach him what the heck were you doing this entire time haha
I have a question for you guys!
Is there anything wrong with adult children living at home as long as they are working and paying bills?
I don't believe so. if you're not mooching off people, carrying your own weight and helping out. My family all lives together
I would say the adult children living at home also need to be respectful of their parents house and rules. Even if they are working and paying if they act entitled then out on your own. Sry to respond to such an old tread =)
I agree with you, mostly. Rules and boundaries are paramount, and children who were raised to respect their elders will live respectfully in their elder's home. I think that, in our day and age the safest place for children - regardless of their age - is at home. Family loyalties cannot and should not be bought or paid for. Kids should be equally as prepared to be there for their parents when their parents grow too elderly to care for themselves. That is how I see it.
shes the problem, kid probably thinks hes a reject and hates himself cus of her.
21 is young btw
That's what a lot of people don't get
A 21 year old person isnt even biologically an adult. Their brains arent even developed as the brains of adults till their mid 20's.
@Darkfarfetch i lived at home at 21, but i was in school.
@Darkfarfetch The majority of people at 21 still live at home. . . Most people aren't even finished with school yet
u think the kid does not want his own place? he does! . he does not know how to get it. what the kid needed was concrete advice how to increase his income . h
She's annoying and so arrogant. I feel bad for this poor guy.
To be honest. If you've got a 21 year old unable to handle money, that's probably your fault as a parent
Failure on the parents for sure. But it is not nearly as much of an excuse nowadays, considering the internet exists with plenty of information to learn when it comes to finances.
"Naperville, Florida"
Lol, it's in Illinois
it’s bad parenting that’s all...
27 n still at home. Come at me bro!
28 here, no need to move when you get along well, help at home financially, chores and gardening. I already finished college, have a remote job, payed off my car and had saved for like 50% of a good house in cash. I believe people rush out of parent's for several reasons, but it's strategically wrong in the long term
@@andali555 I am in the same boat just graduated with my master's degree and waiting until I get a good-paying job to move out.
I left home at 21...ended up paying over $100,000 in rent over a decade..my situation was a bit different because I moved countries but I would never push my children out once they are responsible and contribute to the home financially.
What horrible parents poor lad .
Dude probably has some serious depression with a mother like that
The Step Dad deserves part of the blame for the way he treated his son. He is not a Private for crying out loud, probable reason is because his mom and step didn’t acknowledge that they messed up and didn’t take responsibility for the issues they had with him. I don’t feel sorry for those who wronged others they have themselves to blame.
Im 24 and still live at home
Still?
soon leaving...its a cultural thing
I couldn’t WAIT to get out of my mother’s house! I did whatever I could, finished school, took on a few jobs. I wanted my independence.
Can you imagine if all millennials just move out of their parents house? This scenario would be a wet dream for landlords, when more demand for apartments gos up further in major cities; therefore, adjusted rent increases (Lol).
your use of wet dream was incredibly hilarious lol
I think Dave has made reasonably clear in the talk that he DOESN'T want the son to move out. Keep him home, but teach him financial responsibility.
Garrik Cook Can you imagine if the baby boomers hadn't of squandered the unprecedented wealth and power passed down to them by their parents, leaving the next generation with nothing.
Uhm excuse me, I'm 21 and live at home. But I'm doing it for logical financial reasons. I am in school, (pre-nursing student) working part time & I have a goal plan of when I plan to move out. Make sure you hear the situation first before judging other people's lifestyle choices. Very important.
As a 26-year-old who grew up right by Naperville, let me tell you...this 21-year-old is not the exception, he's the standard. The amount of entitlement in the upper-middle 'burbs Gen Y is beyond nauseating. Sometimes I wonder what the heck the rest of my generation has been inhaling. It's like I'm living in a "Truman Show" style hidden-camera world where I've been exiled to a remote colony of idiots.
+Jak Carsten I moved away when I was a kid back in the 80's; my 8 cousins still live in and near Naperville. Only 1 of them moved out of the house in their 20's, and that's when she got married at 22 right after college. Today only 3/8 live on their own. The rest ranging form ages 23-33 still live at home, and have no plans to move out...crazy
That's sad, just have pity that their parents didn't make them grow up. Bad, bad, parenting. This is not a kind thing to make your progeny capable.
I’m 33 so millennial not Gen Z (like this guy) and I grew up in the NYC suburbs but my fiancé grew up in Northbrook and we only know one guy who still lives at home in Northbrook and one that lives at home in the region (NWI). I wonder if it’s an age thing or if Naperville is that different from the North Shore. Everyone we know from Northbrook is very successful and either living in the cities (Chicago or Austin) or in the suburbs (buffalo grove, etc).
Selfishness just breeds more selfishness but not really suprising to hear that from the generation that has pulled up so many ladders for their kids and grandkids. The mother shouldn't act surprised when their guest abandons her when she will be old and poorly and in need of help. Technically, he wouldn't need to help her when she's no longer productive and able to sustain herself - eagles don't return to their sick eagle parents also. Also, it's not a good idea to get advice over a 10 minute phone call, from a celebrity who has zero insight into your relationship with your son while the son is not present and is unable to articulate what he might be struggling with.
Best comment so far!!!
Only 21? Try a 50 year old (my brother), and my mom (73 years old). I've nearly disowned them both.
smithraymond09029 your 50 year old brother and 73 year old mom live under your roof?
Wow
That's sad man I hope nothing but the best for them both..
Parents don't teach their children valuable life skills from the start, from their lack of forethought on bestowing wisdom from early on to there seed and then wonder why there children underperform because of their lack of actually raising the children instead them just living in your house and growing up with no guidance
Three kids:
One saves every penny, one spends moderately and one squanders everything. Sometimes it's just personality.
I taught the spendthrift to budget by doubling whatever pocket money he had left at the end of the month.
It was interesting. He said "Every time I went to get money out of the cash point I felt sick."
It worked.
My kids are the same. I've had to be a cautious spender and taught them that. I have no debt.
Why didnt you do that method with the other two of your kids???
@@ivanaandric5703 Because they instinctively knew how to budget already.
This is from 2014; I wonder how this turned out? Did the kid change his ways? Or did he head for the door?
“You’re 21, the law says your an adult. It’s questionable but that’s what the law says” 😂 Dave is a savage.
What does he mean bye that am I dumb at 19 lol
@@trevariusroberts9493 cause even if ur seen as an adult you actually haven’t learn enough in 21 years to be able to do everything in your own. Kind of like that
@@trevariusroberts9493 21 Year olds tend to not be mature enough to be functioning adults.
@@landondean3187 I'm 20 I feel offended lol I'm playing kinda
@@trevariusroberts9493 I'm 19...
I’m sorry to say that they are bad parents. They’ve failed their son by not raising them with the essential tools and now he’s in a situation where he doesn’t know what to and is living life to how they raised him.
I’m going to teach my kids about budgeting as early as possible
I'm glad that Dave subtly shifted the responsibility on the parents.
Im 29, I still live at home paying minimum rent to my Dad for staying. This has helped me become financially secure for my future.
Still at home?
I know 25 year olds still living at home close to me. Doesn't save money, spends it all, goes to college but still doesn't even have a bachelors. This is caused due to inadequate parenting, and if a child doesn't manage to learn it on their own, if they don't have the personality of "saving" intrinsic to them, they are not gonna be good with holding money.
Now its also a cultural issue rather unique to Americans where 18 year olds are "expected to move out". I'd say in recent years this expectation has begun to dwindle but it still exists far more subconsciously than in most other cultures around the world. You go to south america, your mom doesn't care if you EVER move out. Matter of fact, they may even prefer it if you didn't depending on the parent.
Regardless, Dave is absolutely correct on the notion that it is an act of love to show a child that piece of what the real world has to offer. It is the same reason we vaccinate our children anyway, and it works the same way in principle too. On 21 and being a guest, I would argue with that proposition. The older generation does not understand the younger.