Destiny And Aba Get HEATED In Divorce Debate And Lead Attorney Steps In
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
- DEBATE: Destiny gets into a heated debate with Aba and Lead Attorney steps in with a follow up debate...
Date: 29 May, 2023
Aba N Preach
► / @abanpreach
Lead Attorney
► / @theleadattorney
▼Follow Destiny▼
►STREAM - www.destiny.gg/bigscreen
►TWITTER - / theomniliberal
►DISCORD - discordapp.com/invite/destiny
►REDDIT - / destiny
►INSTAGRAM - / destiny
►MERCH - shop.destiny.gg/
Check Out My Amazon: www.amazon.com/shop/destiny
Buy My Merch: shop.destiny.gg/
00:00 Teasers / Intro
00:17 Debunking custody myth
22:35 Aba debates Destiny
37:30 Lead Attorney debates Destiny
#destiny
#politics
#debate
This is good. I'm glad the writers are putting conflict between Steven and Aba. The season finale is gonna be fire
This is just filler for Destiny and Aba. They are usually involved in big Thanos/anime level arcs, where they take down the Red Pill 💊. And cuck the whole manosphere.
I'm just waiting for the Vaush storyline to be resolved, Also there's still MG Plot holes They need to patch up
For sure. The writers understand there needs to be conflict among the heroes. I just hope they don't do something cliche like Destiny turning evil or something like that.
😂
@@yoyyoy6376 Vaush never should have traveled to Essos. Once he did, he just turned into a moron
Lol Destiny realized he was about to say "So its half his kid" but caught himself and changed it to "Its half his kid he has to fund". Destinys take on this is insane.
His chat called out his trash take and he went full meltdown! 😂
Someone said cuck take!
I also like how here 1:21:05 he basically admitted that his knowledge on the subject comes from pop culture
As an attorney that practices family law, I can back up what this attorney was saying when he said most men would like to have primary physical care of their child if that was an option. Just as most female clients want primary physical care. Most clients believe they are the superior caregiver regardless of their gender.
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, so if I may ask you… what do you think is causing such elevated divorce rates? Any insight you can share? Thank you
@kyledodson2992 I don't think being an attorney necessarily makes me qualified to give an expert opinion on what leads to divorce because that seems to be a more general relationship question. My expertise is the process, understanding what judges want to hear, and understanding negotiation.
To your question, all I can report is what I hear from clients. For divorce, the main problem seems to be communication. Many men and women are really bad at speaking their partner's love language, checking in, and putting in the effort to be a true partner. Boring answer, I know. I would honestly recommend any struggling couples to attend couples therapy and reading books on relationship communication. The only reason rates are higher now than prior decades is because divorce is so much more accessible and accepted. So, couples that don't work aren't terrified to divorce.
One thing I will say I've observed. The vast majority of clients claim their partner is a "narcissist". I see people online talk about words that lose their meaning all the time. In my line of work, "narcissist" truly means nothing, and I roll my eyes every time I hear someone say it.
@@kyledodson2992 I see what you are trying to say but how does this relate?
@@PKPAPN Ya I would not expect an attorney to be able to answer why there is elevated divorce rates... Seems irrelevant to the issue at hand. I would expect an attorney to shed light on the process which, I think you have so thank you for your insights.
Very interesting
I ain't redpilled, I see alot of people lumping deadbeat dads with dads who want to actually be there for their child, but are prevented from doing so. These arguements always shift from the fathers who WANT to be present for their children to fathers who are deadbeat, which seems to be a strong talking point.
Sounds like anecdotes.
Of men being EXCLUDED FROM A CHILD'S LIFE, there are really two options, either the MAN IS UNFIT, or the WOMAN IS MALICIOUS, both of these situations are outlier situations. It is a SAFE BET that if a man WANTS TO BE IN HIS CHILD'S LIFE, he will NOT BE EXCLUDED FROM HIS CHILD'S LIFE, if he IS then it falls under the outlier situation of the woman being malicious or the man being unfit.
You cannot fix a system by pretending that the outlier situations are the AVERAGE situations, it will not work.
@@reddillon8425 you forgot alternatives like men not seeking custody. Majority of situations both parties decide on custody arrangements.
@Therethere where?
Well most men with kids that arent with the mom are barely in the child's life. Its less common to find a man actually fighting for their kid and cant get them.
Glad the comments are holding Destiny accountable for this massive L
lol
Not an L when he has data to back it up
@@justingovas415 . Outdated study with very very limited sample size and that study doesn’t even necessarily prove there isn’t biases against men in family court .
So no destiny didn’t prove shit
I realized from watching this that destinys problem is he doesn't actually understand how to do research on a topic.
@@justingovas415 what data? 😂😂😂 the guy produces self reported opinions
Destiny is so emotionally vested in this argument. Hes yelling about people not having data while his entire position is also grounded in his bias.
Grounded in bias (when he actually appeared to switch his perspective based on evidence) versus “I feel like women always win.”
Yeah I was surprised he was taking such a strong stance with his only data being the 1 study from 1990 done on 500 people, so basically no valid data.…even tho it was done in my county, so I can assure it’s definitely credible lol. Destiny was reaching heavy, and lost me from the start.
@@KJ-od8wq His conclusion is not bore out by data. He is extrapolating massively from a single point. He's making claims that you'd need more information. Then when someone makes a counter claim he asks for hard data.
This guy works in the field. Is hard data better than experience? Of course. But Destiny is essentially arguing his bias (a streamer who doesn't have a ton of friends) vs a lawyer who experiences this daily.
What blows my mind is he never asks the obvious question. Why is data not collected on this subject? That's a pretty big red flag imo.
Is there any study pointing to the contrary? Like I know 500 sample size is not ideal but it’s still a lot of couples…how many samples in the counter argument? Or is this bad study vs no study?
@@TonyCox1351
Should we use bad data if it's the only data available?
How can he say 75% of men are “dog shit” without accounting for how dog shit the mother can be at all 😂 I’ve never heard him be so wrong
Legit I don’t get it
I think debating the red pill has pushed him more than a bit in the other direction. That’s not always a bad thing but here it’s like 😅
You honestly believe that Destiny thinks that no mothers are “dog shit”?!
Is this your first time watching Destiny? 🤔
@@Smayor75 no but he stated that the reason men don’t gain custody was because….
He’s specifically talking about men who fight for custody and don’t get it. Which is less than 50% of the men who sue for custody which is less than 9% of the people that actually go to court over custody. So it’s less than 5% of the population
Destiny was behaving like Pearl here; taking an outdated, poorly constructed study as his sole point of evidence and then propping up his entire primarily emotional argument behind that study.
Exactly.
Thank you.
Which is better than none.
Out of date would be better as there was more social prejudice against dads having custody then.
@@Pantifaximile No, it’s actually worse. It’s one thing to have a position because of a strong personal belief. But it’s another to willfully choose to be misinformed, because being knowingly misinformed is (in Destiny’s opinion) better than admitting to complete ignorance of a subject, especially when talking to an actual SME of that subject.
Pearlstiny
@@user-ly1fw1du5q Is there a secret population of fathers in poor communities where unplanned parenthood is prevelant that are ready and qualified to care for their kid?
In black communities where crime can be highly concentrated in America with the guys statistically commiting almost all of it are the guys secretly eagerly waiting for someone to come after them for child support so they can be dads?
Destiny is right. Most guys don't even bother fighting for custody and many have to be chased down for child support. Women in these communities aren't going out of their way to struggle as single parents but the attorney only engages w men who want to be parents bc his job obviously necessitates that so he is biased. You guys are assigning so much malice to women the same way the RP does.
Another debate where destiny refuses to admit he is wrong
Does he ever do that? Lmao, come on now.
He still seems reasonable even though his arguments are weak when it comes to valuing an old study more than the 20 years experience of an attorney.
Destiny came into the discussion thinking he will spout out redpill statements. The problem with Destiny is he's an emotional guy who is able to provide logical arguments. However, when Destiny is wrong, he will never admit it. After watching his conversational with CosmicSkeptic, Destiny relies too much of his skill in debating to justify his illogical answers.
*all of the time
idk where Destiny is even getting his info to create an overall viewpoint that court systems do not have bias towards women. Even in criminal cases, women defendants have a more favorable bias
They way Destiny's relationship is with his kid, if he wasn't rich, wouldn't others be calling him a dead beat father too?
I don't get why destiny just throws people's 20-year experiences away like they don't mean anything unless they are part of a study, this is such a stupid way to go about life. "IDC about your professional 20-year experienced opinion" "I have my studies from 33 years ago" "I won't take anything you say as fact", does destiny not see the irony in this? This is so stupid. ICANT
Exactly. After 20 years, you've probably done hundreds approaching thousands of cases, and the 40 year old study only did a sample of 600.
Destiny pretends he knows about stats but is an illiterate on statistics.
The time of the study isn't the issue. All 500 samples are from Massachusetts, therefore, you can't apply this study to argue for the entire US population. Which is unknown, what's known based on the study is custody within Massachusetts and only Massachusetts
Because of confirmation bias, as a lawyer that primarily represents men in divorces, he will not have a broad view of all the divorces between couples with children. He will only have a narrow scope of it built on men that want to go to court, suggesting that they 1. want custody. 2. think they have a case suggesting they are good fathers.
@@NotEvenCloseToMe And you think as a successful lawyer he wouldn't address this before making a point, or we could at least hear him out? He knows what biases are, he's taught classes about them in law school lol. I've heard some of his points, which is that regular employees are advised not to take it to court. since being bankrupt with a child sucks. Looking at the average median income, destiny's 2K tone deaf nonsense is crazy. A good parent puts aside personal feelings right, what would a good dad do if the woman became vindictive? I think we absolutely need more of a framework for this type of checks and solutions for fathers in these situations. It also matches various anecdotes from the kids saying they weren't allowed to see a parent that cared. I'd definitely want to see if this was real at least. No funding provided I guess for further studies that's why you just have that one.
@@NotEvenCloseToMe you forgot that he also represents women. He has stated before and including in this video that he is part of the problem, he has taken away children from their fathers. It is not bias when you are a lawyer that represents both genders and you point out how one side is already in a disadvantage when it comes to playing the game of custody. Learn to listen.
Basically what I heard destiny say is you have to pay for the kid because it’s your kid… but you aren’t entitled to see your kid because it’s your kid?
Yup
Destiny's hate for redpillers makes him oblivious to nuance on these topics.
I’m not a fan of the label but they have some very valid points.
Bruh. Destiny “women SHOULD have sole custody when unmarried.” Also Destiny “men should pay child support cuz it’s half his kid.” Then calls anyone who pushes back delusional…
I love the idea that an absentee father and literal cuck is aggressively giving half baked loser takes on this
That’s what happens to your brain on femism.
Why do you think that paying child support should automatically give you the right to see the child? Do you see the child as a commodity that you can access with money?
Yeah like wtf? How can he not see that these two positions contradict each other?
@@Hemlocker He didn't say he thought that. The point he was making was that the woman gets the automatic legal right to full custody of the child when unmarried, which means the father of that child is legally forced to pay money for the child solely by virtue of the fact that he's placed in the same position as deadbeat parents who have been declined custody. It's not about the commodity or even accessing the child for money, it's just an unnecessarily turbulent and jarring way to welcome men to being a new father. It's kind of obvious how that would foster resentment, which is why it's kind of weird to call anyone who pushes back delusional.
I don't really agree with his point (except for the part where Destiny shits on anyone so much as typing ?? in the chat for maybe disagreeing with him) but I think it's good to characterize people fairly for our own benefit if not theirs
one of the rare times i disagree with destiny. i thought lead attorney was making a good case
His argument was literally we can't trust studies but we can trust him because he's a lawyer. That's not a good case.
@@EvolianTiger men not going to court because it's a waste of time. Checks out
I thought the lawyer mopped the floor with Destiny.
@@EvolianTiger Yeah, Destiny's 30 year old google findings are definitely more valid than an actual lawyer who has worked in that field for over 20 years.
@@EvolianTiger
One or two studies are almost nothing, scientific wise. You need far more proof than that
Lol “men only want shared custody to get out of child support.” Dest, some fathers legitimately want to spend time with their kids. You’re projecting.
Like even if they want it for that and so?
Destiny also has a natural contrarian bias, I know bc I also have this problem so ofc he wants to fight the narrative
Where's Destiny child? He doesn't seems he give a shit about or care
@@Qdawwg’I know this because I have it too.’ Lol
I don’t know much about destiny but didn’t he abandon his own child?
I love how Destiny has no argument against "why is the father forced to pay child support, but not given any sort of custody?", but instead just goes on a tirade how people are "brainwashed by redpillers, especially black redpillers"
Child support is for the benefit of the child and not a transaction for the father. The child has to eat, get clothes, go to school, etc. The father doesn't have to get anything; although I do believe a child benefits from having a father around.
he’s losing it
Destiny was wrong on that, fathers not getting custody is actually to protect them from having to pay child support without being acknowledged as the father and getting custody. The only way a father will pay child support with no custody is if he was acknowledged as the father and received custody but then a judge took it away from them. If the mother does not acknowledge the father's paternity he will not be responsible for any child support.
@@BoldBoC
Should be alot more strict on the income of the mother and the financial support they get from boyfriends.... while still receiving child support.
@@BoldBoC I don’t think it’s a transaction I think it’s natural, same way destiny was arguing. If a father is paying for a child, you don’t think it makes sense that he also should have some input, some custody of said child. It’s not “I’m paying to raise this kid” it’s “I’m already fulfilling this part of my role as a caretaker, why do I just have just this part?”
Hopefully that makes sense, edited
The fact that Destiny said "just because you pay child support doesn't mean you have right to access a child out of the gate" is absolutely insane.
So you can be held accountable for payment for a child out of wedlock, but if you try to have custody of said child as a male you are denied and it's perfectly fine? Insane logic.
@@natediaz1863 I dunno seems faulty if you need extremes to make it work. Most dads aren't diddlers so the statement above still is insane logic
The idea is that if
@Dylan Sevitt but it's an Automatic decision regardless lol. It's just "if" they try then it would be extremely difficult since most people that would be in this situation would be poor
@@manwithaplan135 the automatic decision makes perfect sense though. no one with a brain wants a 1 day old baby to switch homes every 2 days. you don't even need a lawyer to get visitation rights, but expecting a breastfed baby to be under joint custody automatically is insane.
@@dylansevitt You clearly lack any understanding of how joint custody works.... even in under normal circumstances the court will clearly state when the child is capable of seeing the father to keep the child from being taken from home to home as a newborn or even up to a 1 year old depending on the situation.
No judge will make a judgment demanding joint custody to be in affect during these phases of a child's life. But if joint custody is granted during that time or before the child's birth (which is possible if the people have a newborn while divorcing) the father will have his joint custody enforced after a specific period has been elapsed for the child to grow and it be deemed safe and humane to let the parents share custody. Again this will all vary state to state or even counties.
If the father waits 1 year after the child has grown up or even 2 years it will be much harder for him to get joint custody because it would be deemed he was an "absent" father on paper, or the child has grown accustomed to the mother and the court can decide that the child will face hardship in transitioning to seeing the father which they won't know until joint custody is enforced or the mother allows it by her own volition.
LOL, Lawyer of 20 years, focusing on divorce (both men and women), along with colleagues who share notes says men get the short end.. Destiny, "Naw, dog. You're wrong because RedPillers are evil"
He really just wants to dismantle the whole redpill culture by any means necessary it’s kind of funny
Yes surely the redpill lawyer who probably makes more money off his rumble streams than actual legal services can't be biased in any way. Let's just trust him and not consult any data or get second opinions from the several million other divorce attorneys that exist.
@@rodiculous9464 yeah let’s also not trust destiny because he’s neither
@@rodiculous9464 yeah but his data checks out
@@rodiculous9464 I love your "probably's" when trying to make an argument to discredit someone. LOL. Go for it, talk to more divorce attorney's and you'll find out TLA speaks the truth.
Glad to see the comments so united on this one, Destiny hold this fat L
Not gonna lie, Destinys view on kids out of wedlock are all over the place. I think he is just holding on the certain data points for him to justify why his view is right while ignoring other things by saying things like "Wait, if they are unmarried shouldn't that be the case?" What on earth makes you think that. Because keep in mind, this is SOLE Custody. The father has absolutely no right to ever see his child. That seems fine to you?
101 iq
It really depends on where you live. Different countries and different states have different laws. You might have more custody rights if you were legally married and now divorcing. Out of wedlock, parents don't always have the same legal protections if there wasn't a custody agreement already made in writing.
I think you need to google the definition of sole custody. The father does have the right to see his child, unless the courts determined for whatever reason, he's unfit.
Sole custody should absolutely be given to the mother with a child born out of wedlock. It weird and disturbing that people would think otherwise.
Funny how he does that and calls out Redpillers for doing the same exact thing....huh!
it's fine to him clearly
My parents got divorced when I was 7 and they both wanted to make sure that I had as much access to my mother and father as I wanted because they aren't *writhing pieces of shit*. Equal time with both parents and they had no problem with me going over to the other parent's place when I wanted to.
(Assuming parents aren't criminals and/or abusers) If you hate your ex, I don't care. If you stop your kids from seeing their mother or father just because you hate them then you are *actual garbage*. Congratulations, you care more about being vindictive than raising your child.
Currently going through this with my ex and 7 yr old. Had a 50 50 split until recently, she's moving further away, but I offer a more stable and productive household so I'm getting 90 percent custody.
Based
@@greenyodais Congrats on that FAT 90%! Glad you get to spend so much time with your kid
@frizzman1991 thanks man, it means a lot. She's not a bad mom and I feel bad for her but really I think it's best for him. She gets every weekend.
@@greenyodais That's good. Glad he still gets to see his mom.
Destiny is woefully unequipped to have this conversation.
Thank you 🙏🏻 finally someone said it.
any conversation if he thinks he doesn't have the 'burden of proof', caaaaause he does.
I can't stand how this debate is framed... If the dad doesn't get custody because he's a bad person, why would you assume the mother is better and give her custody by default? Don't you think that's a bias? I know it's easier to tell who the mother is, but why wouldn't you just check and give the child to who's better instead of assuming? Destiny's take is just insane here. I'm not a red-piller, so don't try to discredit me with that bad faith bs either...
Because if its proved he's a bad person, bad people tend to be bad parents. The reason she gets custody is because outdated gender norms that redpillers and right leaning idiots believe in.
Destiny and Aba arguing gave me a huge smile on my face😂
I was rubbing my hands while saying “Goood Late the hate flow through You!”
@@13984980 🤣🤣fr fr
Can destiny not understand that not everyone that has a kid out of wedlock wants to be a deadbeat and to have your ability to be a father dependent on having a good relationship with the mom is insane.
Don't get women you don't get along with pregnant?
Destiny is too feminist.
It's his greatest flaw.
@@Ni-boo no shit brother. the conversation is about what happens after that decision has been made. really unhelpful advice for the people in these situations
@@Ni-boo Best Car Insurance Plan? Just never get into a car accident.
@@fifiadan lmao way to take accountability off of the wmn, simp
Destiny seems to shift his stance or move the goal posts quite a bit here. Surprisingly he has a massive blind spot on the entire topic. He defaults to the notion that most dads are deadbeats with no interest in the child, yet he'll immediately jump to automatic custodianship for the mother even when the father may desire a form of custody. The generalizations about not going to court somehow being designated as amicable is also completely off. Overall he's coming off as bad faith and disingenuous.
hes so desparate to be right its actually so fucking infuriating and cringe how disingenuous he gets.
TRUE
Facts
For people that don't go settle custody in court, what percentage do you think are amicable vs. non-amicable?
He probably shouldn't have an opinion on it. His liberal bias is showing.
Destiny got BODIED by Aba, The Attorney and his OWN chat lmfao 😆
The Lead Attorney is correct. I worked a decade in family court and another decade working in family law. I have seen the most ruthless disguising people who would stop at nothing to hurt the other parent. I have watched men spend every penny they have to the point of bankruptcy to get joint custody of their children.
Yup, looking at bulk statistics is not the way to analyze this. The courts have a bias and abusive women can take advantage of it. This isn't about your divorce between 2 normal people, it's about how the abusive, horrible people can ruin lives.
Destiny takes a mad L here
Yes, lead is hardly ever wrong. His takes and advice are pretty solid.
Anecdotes.....
I heard lead speak out that the main problem are the judges that are old and still believe that the woman should get primary custody. It's kind of funny how Destiny doesn't want to give an inch while having lackluster proof of old studies that apply to a tiny fraction of the population.
@@SoldierGeneral64 Yes, when ther is no proof in the data, that's what we have to do, listen to the person that is directly involved anecdotes. Sorry to tell you this, but Destiny has no ground to stand on this one with the bogus outdated studies of a tiny percentage of the population.
Destiny is never beating the cuck allegations at this rate
So Aba has legit experiences with people he knows that he brings up. Destiny then says I can't argue against your stories but I feel that 70% of the time the men are just dogshit.
Aba should just say well I can't argue against your feelings. like Destiny is way out of pocket.
if you still think anecdotes are worth literally anything then you need to stop leaving comments until you learn how statistics work.
@@reddillon8425 statistics study reality. the difference between a data point and an anecdote is which side of the argument you're on
Great point. Destiny like women goes with his feelings.
@@dudestolemyname69 bro he randomly said 75 percent of dads with no custody are deadbeats who want out of child support lol. With 0 backing
@@reddillon8425 Do you even know what a statistic is?
"Statistics is the discipline that concerns the collection, organization, analysis, interpretation, and presentation of data."
"a single term or datum in a collection of statistics"
"a quantity (such as the mean of a sample) that is computed from a sample"
"a random variable that takes on the possible values of a statistic"
First and foremost, unless you have seen the data yourself and qualified the methodology and came to your own conclusions reading a stat from someone else is stupid at best. Stats are manipulated all the time all the way back to how the data was gathered.
When Steven did that search for the 65 stat from the one website was even searcing the actual research paper or someone else analysis of the paper? If it wasn't the actual paper well duh he isn't going to find it. If it was the actual paper then he should have maybe looked further as to why the statement was made because I am pretty sure the author points to the information in the paper the stat comes from.
That's so dumb destiny. So you get a woman pregnant and it's also your kid so you think it's fine to have to pay for the kid but you don't get any custody of the kid? That's so ridiculous. You shouldn't have to pay then. It's that simple.
Most men don’t 😂
@@alishamuhidin3604 most man do. What are you on about? It is estinated that 15% of man dont pay at all
@@ng4logic damn. Got her good
@@ng4logic no, she's talking about how only 10% of divorce cases actually end up with alimony going either way.
@@alishamuhidin3604 The thing is that even if this was true you are completely missing the point. No one here thinks that is okay for a man to not pay child support if it is fair to do so.
aba really turned up around ~30mins, he legit bodied destiny so hard on the controlling arguement
I genuinely think a lot of Destinys view on this is heavily based on his relationship with his kid which is pretty hands off. I think the idea that a man would have a real desire to be around their kid is some what foreign to him seeing that he has the means to do so and doesnt.
Glad you said it lol
Hes not really in his son’s life? Or his son just mainly lives with mom
@@kant5696 He as a wealthy individual chose to move to a different STATE rather than to stay around his child and more actively raise him. So yes I would def say he CHOSE to take a hands off approach to his kid
Exactly, when he said "guys just want custody to avoid child support" I lost it. He's a great orator, but seriously messed up in the head.
As a dad fighting for 50/50 custody, it would be WAY cheaper not to invest the time and money in physically raising my kid, and instead just pay the support. But I want to raise my daughter because I enjoy seeing her, and I want her to know that she has 2 parents that will always be there for her.
@@unklegil9856so Destiny is a deadbeat , and thinks that’s how men are. Nah, they’re not. Most men also wouldn’t be cool with their spouse getting railroaded by other dudes, but Destiny seems fine with it. He’s the exception, not the rule.
Destiny is 100% being disingenuous once Aba came in.
I thought his argument that it makes sense for the children of unmarried couples to default to the mother made a lot of sense, but Aba's response that men can't just go to court to get custody because that shit costs money is a very reasonable counterpoint that makes a lot of sense as well.
D responded to that argument by saying "men are only prevented from seeing their kids because they did something wrong" when he already explained that it defaults to the mom? How does that make any sense?
You forgot one of the points. They did something wrong by not being there when the child was born so they'd be on the birth certificate.
Yeah, I can't afford the lawyer to get custody of my kid, but I want sole physical and financial responsibility of said kid. Gonna be a lot more expensive to raise the kid than pay a lawyer. Kinda fucking retarded to me idk.
@@aylio3745 you don’t need to be there to have you name on the birth certificate, the mother can name the father. If the man fucked up by not being there did the mother fuck up by not naming the father?
You can be a great dad and still have the child taken from you.
@eric hooper is that true?
This man is incredibly patient with Destiny trying to tell him how being a lawyer works.
It's internet people.
he isnt implying he doesnt know how his job works, he's implying he's lying
Destiny isn't telling him how lawyering works. He is trying to tell him how data and research work.
That's not what Destiny was doing at all, were you even listening? He's explaining the bias that is involved in all of the lawyer's experience, and additionally the experiences of all the lawyer friends and judge friends of his will have, and how that doesn't give a comprehensive view of what's actually happening like data from studies does.
@@FlipsMG Ang the lawyer is telling Destiny that looking at the studies alone does not give him a comprehensive view of the topic. Neither party seemed willing to reevaluate their viewpoint.
"He got the woman pregnant".
No the woman and him accidentally got pregnant and the man accidentally got the woman pregnant.
Again. All responsibility points to the man. It's the women's choice but the mans responsibility.
Gynocentricism, inherent negative default bias towards men. Unfortunately, this is the norm.
But he's the one that got her pregnant...
@@false-set did they both agree to sex?
If the answer is yes, they are both responsible for the result. Its that simple.
@@REDDAWNprojectill take it a step further, she opened her legs to get mauled by the man, its her responsibility, with great power comes great responsibility, unless its grape then its the mans fault 100 percent
@@REDDAWNproject yeah both are responsible, she is the one that got pregnant by him, just like he’s the one that got her pregnant tho.
Destiny is just aggressively wrong about the courts, because the data does show it is massively skewed in the favor of women when it comes to custody.
It's based on who is raising the child.......
Fact:
90 percent of divorces there are court no involved.
Out of that 10, 60 percent of men who go to court win custody.
@T Time and also a lot of men realize the court is against them so that could be a reason less men even try since it would just be a waste of money.
@@vibez2806 So if men think it is a waste of time, but result show that 60 percent of the time, men get custody. It would seem like men have the wrong ideal, that the red pill tries to push. Why not tell men to go to court more?instead of assuming you will be there victim.
@vibez they win a majority of the time when they take it to a judge. How is that biased against men?
I think Aba's perspective of a financial stance is one destiny always forgets about. My friend had to go $20k in debt and after a 2 year battle finally got custody of his daughter and thats with his ex being a drug addict, her dating a drug dealer, and getting multiple testimonies against her. Not everyone has the finance or time to fight and most women know that
Yeah and I have seen many dudes get full custody with a FREE lawyer.
The destiny formula:
put money on an anecdote
State idealistic anecdote
Refute point with "i've never seen research that states your point"
Then screech strawman statistics really fast
Repeat.
*Fairly accurate lol.*
You’re not wrong.
True... Very True 🤦😂
💯
This literally should be top comment
Destiny has baises against men, how the f does he know fathers that fight for custody are" dead beat' if so why would they fight for custody plus what marriage do with being a father or not you can do dna test if court doesn't know who the fck you are to the partner.
He's projecting his own disinterest in being a father to his children onto others. Maybe a slightly bad conscience about this is making him so emotional and hard-line on this issue as conceding woukd mean for him to reflect on his own role as a father, which he's totally failing at.
I trust The Lead Attorney opinion on this way more than Destiny. He has wayyy more experience on this topic than Destiny
@@angelmartin7310 he literally has his plaque on his wall in the background of his streams.
zoom in and find out but youre probably a femcel
It's been proven that he is legit and is verified in his state
@@angelmartin7310 you can very easily find his name and Bar Status by searching The Lead Attorney on google
@@LiberianHokage It literally took me five minutes lol. Even if he was fraudulent. Destiny is still uneducated on the topic.
"Erm ik you have 20 years of experience on both sides of these cases, but do you have a study to disprove my regional study from over 20 years ago that even I call shoddy?" "Also even though this study doesn't say this IK that most dad's who don't get custody are probably lazy bums who don't even want to see their kid and if you say otherwise it's on you to show proof against my nonexistent evidence also if you even disagree you're just a sexist redpiller!" Destiny really taking the L on this.....
The fact that Destiny argues family law and the outcomes of those cases with a 20 year divorce attorney and constantly pushes back is WILD!!!
He knows it all bro
Facts
it's his pride and ego. it's very fragile.
One attorney isn't always right he could be suffering from a selection bias based on his area, his clients etc. Esp if he has an online presence and bills himself as some kind of "pro male" divorce attorney then he's automatically going to attract a certain type of client that feels they have some kind of grievance towards the woman.
Lmaooo that’s how destiny does it 💀
I like that they're able to have disagreements and still be friends. These discussions are really interesting.
@Y Y 😅
27:00 "sole OR JOINT" custody. Destiny doesn't understand that 90+ percent of those cases are the father lawyering up (spending lots of money) to win JOINT custody... aka get to see their child. Destiny acting as if JOINT custody is some victory for the dad is a gross misunderstanding of the reality of the situation. 9 times out of ten, the mom is acting to take away as much custody to the father as possible, for child support or vengeance or whatever drama they got going on. The dad "getting JOINT custody" is a consolation prize after the mother (9 times out of 10) has gone nuclear against the father for whatever reasons mentioned above.
Not sure how long that will last though. Destiny seems to be getting more and more arrogant and insulting rather than being able to discuss, explain and disagree in any respectable manner.
💯💯‼️
@@onemicdebates wait so is there any data or study demonstrating that 9 times out of 10 the mom is trying to take away as much custody as possible and/or the father isn’t trying to do the same??
This is from my mom personal experience but my dad tried to take me away from my after he left my mom when she got pregnant and then refused to believe I was his son until later. He tried to say my mom was unfit to be a mother, that I had all these learning disabilities (I didn’t) and that she was abusive to me. He was only able to get joint physical custody.
This is just a personal experience so obviously this doesn’t paint the broader picture but I highly doubt the more is trying to do what you say 90% of the time and the father wasn’t also lol.
Destiny has lost his mind in this take
There's actually a friend of mine who is fighting for custody because the child's mother refuses to let him communicate with his son. It wasn't until he started reporting these incidents to the police that the judge actually started taking his side. I feel like if men are truly serious about asking for custody they have to stand up for themselves and prove that they are responsible enough to take care of the child in a loving and supportive home. Even then, I know this is a super rare case and most dads would just move on.
I agree but I also have a friend that spend 25k! On a lawyer just to have his daughter on the weekends.
Not everyone has the money to "fight" in court.
Lawyers cost.
No one can afford a lawyer working a minimum wage job.
You were so so close but you missed the point. The fact that the dads have to fight at all is the major issue here. No dad should have to *fight* to get to 50% custody. Not every dad has the funds to fight to get 50%. You’re still normalizing the fact that moms can kind of just chill, and dads have to go broke or go into debt just to make things somewhat fair and even then it isn’t anywhere near fair. Like holy shit.
That's the thing...... Most men just move on! So who's fault is that?
We can't as a society keep blaming women for fathers being to lazy or disinterested to get and follow a custody order..... And to file a contempt of court charge if the mother is breaking the oder.
It's not hard, and contrary to popular belief you DON'T need a lawyer...... Just the ability to file a court documents and ask for a hearing....... It's doing the bare minimum for anyone that wants to raise a kid.
@@stepfaniehawkins205 the system that expects a father to pay thousands of dollars to have custody of their children
@@stepfaniehawkins205 We'll reverse the story, men have automatic custody and women have to jump through all the hoops and get the wallet out to get custody. You'll see the same thing, a lot less women will have custody.
Not everyone is in the situation to take up that fight.
It is wild seeing Destiny, as a deadbeat dad, defend the idea that most men who don't see their kids is bc they're deadbeat, not bc women are not allowing the father's in their kids lives. I mean, yeah, that's on brand for him
survivor bias
Sooo... is he truly a deadbeat? You gotta provide facts man.
Destiny's take here is absolutely insane. If you pay child support you should absolutely get some type of custody unless you're unfit.
I'm not even redpill, I think you should get married and anything that happens if you don't is kind of your fault, but Destiny's take is so insane and the fact that he painted everyone who disagreed as redpill is insane.
Edit: Destiny's assumption that if the dad is at the hospital his name goes on the birth certificate makes this less bad
Only slightly less bad.
Also on a different note regardig that, although the rates of paternity fraud are quite low, if you ARE at the hospital and your name gets put on the birth certificate, you'll STILL be on the hook for child support if later you discover that the child isn't actually yours
@@kylesizemore2751 he thinks because he has a kid he's the CEO of all custody opinions
He said, quite specifically, "Paying child support SHOULD NOT MEAN YOU AUTOMATICALLY GET SOME TYPE OF CUSTODY"
which, even in YOUR own words, is objectively true "You should absolutely get some type of custody UNLESS YOU'RE UNFIT"
It's obvious he's referring to the extremes because the statement "Child support should always = custody" is objectively wrong.
@@reddillon8425 are you saying that because I think there should be some exceptions to automatically linking custody to child support that I actually agree with Destiny?
@Red Dillon it should be an automatic thing unless for the extreme examples like the dad is abusive. Just like you are automatically able to go around society and live your normal life unless you break the law.
Destiny claimed that an unmarried woman should automatically get custody of the kid. Why aren't he talking about the extreme for this one too? Either he is being disingenuous or biased.
Destiny is an amaizing debater, who can crush people in convo when they are wrong. Unfortunately he is also extremely prone to becoming blinded by his "emotional elephant" and just trample all over things in anger, even confronted with clear evidence showing that he is wrong.
there was no clear evidence anywhere in this video proving that he was incorrect
@@blakk6lass There was. Rewatch it if you need to.
@@Cybertech134 can you please direct me to it? I apparently have failed to see it after listening to the whole debate.
@@blakk6lass a lawyer with years of experience in the field completely dismissed because he's not a 'study'. Most of the time was spent attacking the lawyer's credibility rather than listening to anything he had to say.
@@ferinzz the dude said that he’d rather listen to a single soldier that is boots on the ground over a journalist that takes perspectives from all kinds of different people, and tried to say it was the same
I could be wrong, but I feel like some element of Destiny's relationship with his own son and whatever custody set up he has is coloring his Bias here.
Big time
Undoubtedly.
What? That it proves that men who ask for custody(if that happens) more or less get joint custody? Shocking!
Deadbeat dad Destiny who does not live in the same state as his child thinks it's natural for other men to be deadbeat dads just like him. Destiny projecting hard. 😊
My dad was a family law attorney/ Destiny could not be more wrong. He has no idea what he’s talking about/ good dads get screwed ALL the time. And so many times they love their kids and the mom is trying to screw the dad and not worried about what’s best for her kids. I love destiny; he just has no idea what he’s talking about in this area and he’s taking a guess in something he has no idea about.
I think tons of guys get screwed. But destiny is talking about the big picture where as people like you’re father are in a specific group. 90% of all custody disputes end without court intervention. Only 21% of children live only with their mother. 1 in 5.
In the cases where children only live with their mother, destiny is saying that the majority of these dads are deadbeats. Idk if there’s data on that, how do you know whos a deadbeat but the vast majority of people I’ve known in single parent scenario their dads were pieces of shit who didn’t even show up to birthdays. I have multiple friends where their dads hade more than 2 baby mothers.
I think this is where everyone gets caught up. Sure guys get screwed sometimes but where are we accounting for the guys who literally don’t give a fuck?
Dude, no offence, but please refrain from trying to debunk Destiny's takes using vague statements like *all the time*, you are not referring to any research and just appeal to personal experience which is not in any way indicate of a true debunk on a guy that actually uses research in his arguments. Although, those researches are old af, there are no better sources
@@cwhit0110 90% of all custody cases are settled, because in general, a good attorney would tell a man that if he can’t provide concrete evidence why he’s a *better* (not equal, but objectively better) parent to the kid, then they won’t tell him to fight. There’s already a selection bias in the cases that go to trial, because that means the men either have strong cases or the disposable income to risk a loosing battle.
No one has a problem acknowledging the existence of shitty fathers. The problem people have is not acknowledging the existence of shitty mothers as well. For every story about a deadbeat dad, there’s also a story about an abusive/toxic mom. But because women tend to have custody, they’re given a benefit of the doubt and charitable interpretations of their intentions that men aren’t given. There’s nothing rational or fair about that. Destiny himself believes that if a man doesn’t have full or joint custody of his kids, there’s probably something wrong with him, yet thinks women should be given preferential custody over a man in most cases.
@@AJweathersby for your first paragraph, women obtain sole custody only 20% of the time. So 4 out of 5 times men get some sort of custody arrangement. This would prove that your assumption about men not pursuing court because they will most likely lose is probably not as true as you assert. Maybe your assertion is true in cases where men file for sole custody. I grew up in a community where single parenthood was very common. In my experience, the vast majority of my peers who grew up in single parent homes had a deadbeat dad who was not present whatsoever. Wouldn’t even call on birthdays.
For your assertion about deadbeat dads = toxic moms is crazy. IMO when it comes to parenting being toxic is not equivalent to being absent. Being absent is obviously worse. I would say there may be equivalent cases of toxic dads and toxic moms. But it is undoubtedly true that cases of absent fathers are far greater than absent moms.
Lastly, destiny is not saying women should be the preferred parent but rather we can only have a functioning system in which women are automatically granted custody. I think you’re failing to see the practicality of assigning parents. In every single case the state can determine who a child’s mother is because they literally give birth. Contrasted by the fact that in some cases the father cannot be identified. Therefore, unless the father is present, like what destiny said, the mother would automatically get full custody. It is not that complicated. Is the system completely fair? Probably not, but destiny’s argument is not in defense of a fair system but rather in opposition to the red pill assertion that men always get fucked over in custody battles. Like I said initially 4/5 times a man can get some form of custody. And this fact becomes even more true the more responsible men are about childbirth. Firstly being married before you have a child. And after that have a stable income etc if you can’t be married. Don’t know how this isn’t obvious. Be responsible out there gents.
@@cwhit0110 1) Not true. Most women don’t want sole custody, they want primary custody. So what makes you think women having sole custody 20% of the time is a marker of father’s success? And you misunderstood. The threat of losing isn’t what keeps fathers from fighting. The threat of going bankrupt to fight is what does. The average American doesn’t have any savings. Where do you think they’re going to get 3k to even begin the process of fighting by hiring an attorney? Having the money to fight a case already implies the man is a top 10% earner or at least has a retirement fund to blow out.
2) Simple scenario. 2 working class young adults in Florida have a kid out of wedlock. The mother takes the kid and moves to California, knowing the father has no money to chase after her and maintain a relationship with his kid. And then she’s uncooperative with letting him have contact. After a few years of ineffective fighting, he gives up. Is this a case of a father’s abandonment or parental alienation? Situations where Mothers do things like this aren’t rare.
3) This is a false statement as women weren’t always granted primary custody. It used to be that fathers were automatically granted custody. TLA, as well as numerous other family law attorneys, have repeatedly said that in order for a man to “win” he has to prove he’s a better parent. Not as good. Better, by some objective measure. So the idea of men having primary custody of children is not some unprecedented phenomenon. It’s only recently become the case here in Georgia, as of 2022, that family courts are obligated to start with the assumption of 50/50 custody.
Destiny: one of the biggest problems society faces is fatherless children
Also destiny: hahaha, if you want your child to have a right to see their father you need to marry
destiny redpill arc?
I didn't know Destiny was quoting studies from the '90s to bolster his arguments about divorce and alimonies and child custody. His arguments are a lot less believable if that is the case because the world has changed so much in the past 30 years.
@@TheKomentor Yea maybe but he's right when he says most fathers don't get custody bc they're not qualified and don't even try for it. This is especially obvious in black communities where crime is highly concentrated with the men statistically commiting like all the crime.
@@TheKomentor Even so, it's better than one attorney's anecdotes.
@@sugarwaterpurple5280 No it isn't...Bcoz the attorney's anecdotes are current and not from a 33 year old survey from a small population state like Massachusetts.
Thank Aba for coming in around the 20 minute mark to preach some type of logically based reality about relationships.
Its weird how a bunch of tools on the internet, most of which aren't making 6 figures, can sit back and critisize a lawyer of 20 years about which school he went to ecetera. Mind you none of these people have been through family court. Its incredible.
@ 34:13 women get free lawyers in most states in family court. The fathers are then ordered to pay for the legal fees of the mother.
Destiny: men don't wanna have custody of their kids
some projection right here
It’s such a nasty way to think about a whole gender. Let’s ignore the guys that knock a woman up, if a man gets married and has kids then his wife files, it would be very unlikely he wants nothing to do with them.
He just assumes every father is deadbeat. Was his father there? I’ve never seen him this irrational.
I don’t understand how redpillers can say that women are better caretakers and nurturers and then complain when the judges side with them. The mom is more likely to be the responsible one and actually want to take care of their child
THIS! LOL and the fact that they can't even see this is actually the type of world they're advocating for. It gives merit to the belief that many of these men don't actually want more parenting time except to decrease the child support they'd be ordered to pay
Destiny prefers outdated data over the experience of an Attorney.🤦♂️
Also that “60 percent” figure destiny keeps babbling about doesn’t necessarily prove that the system isn’t in some ways biased against men. If in those 60 percent cases of men winning there women is dysfunctional or it’s a unique set of circumstances to why the man is winning , that does not men that if every man fights for custody they’ll have a 60 percent case of winning
lol at around 26:00 he tells Aba not to use an anecdote and then starts his next sentence off with "I feel like" lmao
That comes in at 27 minutes but isn't he explaining how he "feels about a study" and not "I know a guy" like Aba did?
Are those the same?
Guy1- I know cops are racist towards black people because I kept getting pulled over.
Guy2- I feel like it's not racism because this study says a majority of black guys ride around with tinted windows in areas where it's not allowed. 90% of tinted window owners pulled over are black men.
First time Ive heard Destiny use his fighting tone of voice with Aba. Dont burn that bridge Steven, Aba is good people and you know it. He didnt seem like he took it personally but you should never try to make your friend feel stupid unless its a joke
If someone is being stupid they need to be made to feel stupid until they stop being fucking stupid.
Destiny's tone was tame compared to the Steven Crowder debate he and Aba had. This was nothing.
Dude, Aba thinks. No way he would end a friendship over "ooh he got heated while debating" NO WAY
@@prplsun Aba also came in and immediately told Destiny to keep that same energy. I dont think Aba is gonna read into it like some outside people looking in might.
Let this be a lesson that much of Destiny's effectiveness as a debater comes from his loud, unbridled confidence in what he says, and his absolute refusal to cede ground. Bro spent the first 25 minutes being wrong at max volume until educated by an attorney. Lmao.
Which he then relegated to being an anecdote becuse he can't have his anti redpill takes be obstructed by anyone.
When he tried to spin the word “controlling” as a positive just for the sake of arguing I checked all the way out. 🤣
@@kiwiifruit9408 hey come on, its not his fault the red pillers use controlling as a word to just me "my ex-wife asked me to take out the trash"
@@kiwiifruit9408 Then you misunderstood. He wasn't saying controlling is good. He was saying that it's not uncommon for a bad example for person A to call person B "controlling" over reasonable and good things because it's more of an issue with person A. Like druggy teens that call their parents "controlling" for not wanting them to drugs. His point is that the word gets misused often.
@@niclastnamehe literally said the mother gets to be more controlling over her child over the father
9:03 I think child support and finances are only half of the reason they want custody or joint custody but children are used as leverage on the other parent these days. It's sickening.
Surprisingly bad takes from destiny, he probably sees his kid once a year.. and volunteered to have no custody.
He’s got a hot blonde 24 year old, who need a kid 😂😂😂
Bet he didnt fight for ir
Destiny doesn't know what he's talking about. Even if you have 50/50 physical custody. You still have to pay child support. I know this as fact. I am living through it
Damn , that sucks
Personally, I couldn't afford to go to trial and had to settle for a suboptimal schedule with my daughter because of it...thankfully I have a decent relationship with her mom now and she finally agreed to 50/50. Lawyers were all discouraging to me because I was the dad even though there was no dirt on me and I had a strong support structure for my daughter just because I was the father not the mother
My husband was strongly discouraged from fighting further and he had an attorney. He was trying to stop the mother from moving his daughter out of state and actually had members of her family write letters of support for him being awarded custody. After a year of fighting and having to switch attorneys, the new attorney told him to settle, so he did. We got his daughter over 100 days a year but it was a lot for him to deal with.
Yeah but remember this is all anecdotal….😒
@@austinroberts7492 Awful lot of anecdotes that point to the same conclusion tho.
@@redcube9629 data isn't the plural form of anecdote
@@redcube9629 When people are relaying their personal experience with something like this, many of they are going to lie or twist the story to paint themselves in the best possible light. There is no shortage of men who are willing to claim that an ex is actively preventing them from seeing their kids while not telling you about X, Y or Z bad behavior that caused them to lose their shot.
My gf is an attorney practicing in family law and based on her description, what this man telling Destiny in the video seems to be correct. When people do fight over custody, both the mother and father wants primary custody because they both see themselves as superior caretaker and the better parent. And they see the other side as self centered and imcompentent that can't communicate.
The attorney in this video is very patient with Destiny.
But, there are attorneys who have experiences that contradict what he's saying. So ,which side is more correct?
@@STARK0181 There aren't though.
@@Kuroganemk2 There definitely are. The lead attorney and all his colleagues aren't the only family attorneys in the US.
Yeah man, people are always going to be contrarian, ESPECIALLY when there is nosolid data. Oh well 🤷🏾♂️
@@STARK0181 *Name one.*
Destiny complains that lead attorney only has a small sliver of society but 100% believes and relies on one study that was done in one state that has one set of rules that might be totally different then every other. That isn't a small sliver of society?
It is a snapshot of society with controlled variables vs your highly selected view.
@@emeryboehnke4259 Not necessarily. I will give you an example.
I was in a stats class during secondary education. The project was to make an hypothesis and do a study and produce the results.
My hypothesis was that most college age men would prefer to have a son as their first child over having a daughter.
I started asking the males in my gaming group and most of them were saying daughter instead of sons which was not fitting what I wanted obviously. So instead I went and started asking athletes.
In the end I was able to prove my hypothesis without having to show how I rigged the system.
So again. This study was done in one state that has one set of rules so already you have a small sliver of society. Then you would have to take into account how many cases they looked at. Then how they decided which cases to look at. Did they look at them all or did they have a selection bias like I had in college.
Old study vs his view and interpretation of a couple hundred cases max.. Even when he speaks its not a full engagement that I personally want to some of the questions, it just feels anecdotal
old data trumps anecdotal experience the second you have to make assumptions for scenarios and circumstances outside of parameters of your experience (in this case, the cases settled out of court and without an attorney), the best the lead attorney could do in the absence of data to support his arguments is to lay the foundation for why destiny’s data is not relevant. Which requires him at the very least point to a wide spread change in how law is practiced or present MORE DATA. Appealing to authority is already short of evidence, appealing to your own authority is the epitome of fallacious. And it’s not that the lead attorney is being bad faith or that he isn’t intelligent but he genuinely seems to only see the “burden of proof” from the legal perspective. In the academic sense it much different
@@bigboma This hurts your own argument. If the study only looked at court cases then how could it make the claim that 70% of the time men fight for custody they get it? Does fighting only mean taking it to court? Maybe they fought the best they could up till court and lost. That would lower that 70% wouldn't it?
Destiny makes it sound like if they don't take it to court they are likely just deadbeats that don't want their kids. He won't even consider that maybe they just can't afford it. That right there is a bias toward the woman because they don't have to fight that battle since they are just given the kids by default.
As a father who was removed from his kids because false allegations only to get full custody after my ex was incapable of taking care of children. She absolutely did it it live off the child support I provided for the children. Destiny is full of it
you're just one story, sorry bro, but you're not the majority
@@imadedisaccount2commentido693is his extreme case the majority? No. Is his case indicative of the ABILITY that women have to legally destroy men if they want to? Yeah
@@eggbertjohnson2591 the point is that women don't. destiny's whole point is that redpillers create this caricature of the insane woman who has a kid just to screw over the guy financially
@@imadedisaccount2commentido693 the point is that saying "women don't" is a fucking r3t@rd3d argument. Because 1. They obviously do
2. It wouldn't even matter if they do, it matters if they CAN. Why would I sign a contract where someone could screw me over if they wanted to, just because someone said "oh it only happens sometimes!". The fact that the system even allows it to happen is reason enough to be concerned about getting married and to criticize family court
3. Nobody is ever making the claim that the vast majority of women are having a child purely as some grand premeditated plan to screw a man over. Women's feelings about you are subject to change at any time. A woman could be fully in love with you, and later turn sour and vindictive. The point is that it is unjustly the woman's prerogative to legally fuck you in the butt if she chooses
I'm not even going to talk about how much destiny was coping about this 30+ year old study with flawed methodology to cone to his conclusion
@@imadedisaccount2commentido693 the point is women do and they get free lawyers, government funding, free housing and step by step instructions to make it happen and all that support comes from just an allegation no proof required. I am not one story and it is absolutely done constantly as it is the number one reason men are dining on a bullet and that is not anecdotal.
I am by no means a fan of the red pill online personalities, but claiming they only want joint custody to avoid child support is a hard take. Lol
Lol destiny was out of touch there
I would absolutely call him out on that nonsense and require a show of actual hard proof to that claim and not him just projecting himself being a garbage father onto every other father out there. Reality is he would never find proof though because thats not true.
@Honest Jim idk if he's a garbage father, to be honest I don't dive into his family history. He has a point with understanding what the data establishes but he seems to exclude the gaps in the data on selective topics. I would suggest it's also an issue of his bias as opposed to him doing it selectively in bad faith.
@@TheIcup24 Ok the best way to consider him being a father is he isn't really interested it seems since he moved away from his child in a different state. So garbage might not be the worst term. But he is defiantly projecting how much he cares for his child onto other fathers as well and with no data to back it up
@Honest Jim I feel like your assumptions are fine to question, I just know if I was a public figure, I would like my personal life to be as private as possible, especially with my children.
Speaking from bias but I'm in the opposite foot as he is. I am a divorced father, but I have custody of my children, and their mom lives several states away (in FL, ironically). I'm not famous, and I also do not put my children's photos or maneuvers on my social media.
Does his ex ever suggest this to be true? If not, I would be inclined to believe it's not really the case. I know at 12 I also didn't fuck with either of my parents and really only went to their homes to crash for a few hours and leave again.
@1:43 What Destiny always forgets when he quotes "the 70% get custody when they challenge" it is that to challenge it costs a huge amount of money that economically might be better kept for the welfare of your kids rather than paying some lawyer. Not only that unless you've got a really good case, most lawyers will advise that it isn't worth the argument because you'll spend the money and be no better off, meaning those that actually do challenge have the best prospects and even then only win 70% of the time.
TL;DR - Any father that can't demonstrate a better reason for custody over the mother won't waste the money, even if they are just as worthy.
My guy it cost money for woman aswell
@@fifiadan to keep the child
@@EmperorDxD not necessarily, especially if they are the lower earner. Depending on the jurisdiction there are often orders that the spouse with the greater amount of assets is required to foot some if not all of the other's costs, that way you don't get an imbalance.
@@fifiadan she still have to take care of the child
@@fifiadan the guy that doesn't fight clearly gave up
If Red-Pillers posted a study from the 90s about something, Destiny would probably say its age makes it unreliable. It being the only study he can find doesn't change that it's not that reliable imo
I think Destiny is allowing the extremists to dictate his position in this instance tbh. He won't allow a reasonable conversation to take place because he has now taken the most opposite position he can to the red pillers. Which is a shame. A lot of people going through this listen to Destiny and are gonna be massively thrown off by him railing against them when they don't like the red pillers either.
The current court system surrounding this is a complete mess even going off their data and I wish we could have conversations about how to fix it.
Edit: oh come one Destiny. Your whole basis from this extremists take is based on multiple decade old data. The whole deadbeat dad thing is also super tone deaf and his example is really bad
Yeah he always defeating these redpillers and he probably got a lil jaded
@@iamsheron7408why would he get jaded unless their argument are getting to him because he cant arguenas much factually as he does emotionally?
Pulling a 30 year old study of 500 people shows how emotional this argument is. Current data BTFO’d destinys argument
Xpatriarchy uses current data. The person that dadvocate attacked
Destiny throws out research of trans issues for being ineffective and doesnr use them ro form his opinion, but then holds on for dear life to these 40 yr old custody studies.
Lawyer dude seemed completely reasonable, Destiny L on this topic.
Well one is a pro with life exp and legit status, while the other is a guy who sits in a computer all day
I thought he gave some really poor examples to support his arguments honestly
@@soundsaboutright--- didn't have to dig deep when destiny was falling over giving his own arguments here
@@jase7401 we just have a difference of opinion. The attorney said we should give different information different weight and I agree with that. His whole Karen study was a good example. The issue is all of his experience was a Karen study that he wanted more validity for merely for being an attorney even though we're stuck just taking his word for jt
There are evil, insane, vindictive women out there who use their kids as bargaining chips against their ex husbands. I knew a guy in college whose ex wife cheated on him, he divorced her, and she denies him joint custody out of spite and it drove one of their kids to attempt suicide
The fact destiny is saying these women dont exist is insane
yup
I agree with Destiny on most things, but I truly despise him for his spreading this nonsense.
He would dismiss your comment as "anecdote."
In fact, if Destiny wants to win, he can out "study" his opponent
@@CEWIII9873 the hilarious thing is his outlook on most divorced dads being deadbeats is every bit as unsubstantiated and anecdotal as the alternative
@@fwwaller Let's go by the video.
Destiny ADMITTED the study he quotes is from Massachusetts from the 80s or 90s, and then says because there are no OTHER studies - he argues his position based upon this.
Then, Destiny dismisses the Lead Attorney's 20 years experience and interaction with all other actors within the family law system?
The Lead Attorney also provided a reason as to why there are no other studies on this.
It is like I am watching Dr. Phil playing to his audience by calling all men deadbeats.
Can you think of a reason Destiny feels this way?
@@CEWIII9873 he's gotten comfy as a millionaire streamer in a polygamous relationship, probably been hanging out with and shagging too many feminist twitch streamers
As a father that’s getting his daughter taken from him by his baby momma just because she doesn’t like me… this shit really does happen. I’m not the only person I know that’s even going through this either. I got a neighbor, one of my hs friends going through this, my own father went through this, and ironic enough my baby moms mother did this to her dad. Some of us are scared to go through the court system for help. I’m the only guy I know that’s going through the courts and I didn’t even want to. I tried to work it out with the mother but she just “can’t stand me”. I’m a good father and she’s a good mother, we both have provided for our child and we both love and care for our daughter and yet I’m getting the shit end of the stick cause this girl doesn’t like me. This shit does happen.
If this is true. She’s not a good mother because she’s depriving her daughter of a father. Sorry you have to go through this. Good luck.
Sorry bud…just anecdotal so it can’t be real bro….
Naw but for real wishing you the best man. I know it’s tough but I know we have a lot of AMAZING fathers who really want to be in their children’s lives, ESPECIALLY those who come from a communities where drugs, alcohol, poverty, and crime left many of us fatherless. Our generation are working to ensure fathers are in the household. It’s thought when you have the mother of the child and the system going against you
Don't let the doom mongers with their stories defeat you before you even get started.
Have u applied for visitation/guardianship? Taken parenting classes? Have suitable housing? Have a record of how you financially contribute? This can possibly assist in your hearing.
Also, why did D man strawman Aba's point about being controlling? If a girl says that her boyfriend is being controlling, no one (maybe RP bros) think that the bf is just exterting his boundaries. It usually has a negative conotation attached to it.
If want specifics. Sometimes “being controlling” = him not wanting her to do something harmful to herself the relationship.
"I could be wrong, and if I'm wrong, good for me"
damn he's bulletproof
I love when destiny debates the lead attorney because the lead attorney show just how unintelligent destiny is. Destiny just can’t admit when he is wrong and is disingenuous in his arguments.
Destiny and Abba have such good vibes, so glad they still chat about stuff together
I love how destiny reading a couple articles makes him a reliable source to speak on these issues
Yes reading a study (even an arguably outdated one) is better than women bad anecdotes and personal bias
@@Seri-dy5dd is Destiny qualified whatsoever to speak about this? The answered is obvious no
Redpillers reading articles makes them reliable?
@@fifiadanyou can see what he typed and it’s very unbiased language
I love how nobody says "is destiny even qualified to be talking about this?" Anytime he brings up a study, but when it's about disproving "women bad", then it's a problem.
Destiny likes to call people the R word. Destiny IS the R word.
man Destiny sprinted from "these are black problems i cant comment" to "dead beat dads are an epidemic in the black community" quick. he is just fucking wrong on this stuff over and over its pretty sad to see
Destiny took an L in this one. Black red pill men arguing their lived experience and Destiny arguing with them about what happens in THEIR community is almost comical. “I don’t believe” is not an argument.
Cap
@@tarfielarchelone2674 explain
@@tarfielarchelone2674yeah, explain that.
Why is destiny arguing so hard something he's not even an expert in against someone whos been in it for 20 years? And his only argument is data.I will never understand. Get another attorney and see if they agree with the lead attorney.
The arrogance of Lestiny is outrageous.
It is wild to me destiny tried to say this lawyer rejects the scientific method because he doesn't base his entire worldview on a study destiny himself described as "shoddy"
B.S. in Cali you DONT automatically get joint custody you have to go to court to establish custody...
Just to comment on the dad custody thing. I have 3 brothers and 1 friend who all went through this. 3 of the 4 of them did get joint custody where they split time 50/50. However, it costed all of them tens of thousands of dollars to fight for it in court. Multiple times the mother would just not attend and request an extension which was always granted, she never had to provide her financials (per state law, completely left up to the judge) in order to determine any type of financial responsibility or support payments, and took months - years to finally conclude. In my state once the woman goes and files for child support the automatic custody arrangement is the father gets every other weekend and mother has custody and father has to pay child support. You then have to have an uphill fight from there to change it. If you are lucky you can solve it in mediation, but that isn't binding here and if the mother chooses to disregard it she can, then forcing you to take her to court.
Idk about other states or if this is even true, but I've always heard that DSS gets some sort of financial incentive for collecting child support. Idk any other reason it should be so one sided and arranged in a way to make it so difficult to establish joint custody. There is a problem in how this system functions regardless of who wins or losses.
DSS? Are you in South Carolina? Because if so, you are $1000 wrong on the women not having to provide their financial information. There is no automatic custody arrangement when seeking custody. The court looks at the situation and outlines temporary custody agreements while the case is being decided. There is probably a template closely followed that applies to a lot of situations, but tons of things can lead the court to deterring from it.
Also, if DSS is involved in collected child support, then that's because the other parent wasn't paying and the mother has signed up for government assistance. It makes complete sense for the agency to charge some sort of administrative fee to pay the people that have to work the courts and collect.
@ashleygraham1011 my brother was called by DSS the day after his son was born to come and sign the papers to pay child support. He was in the hospital when he was born. He signed the birth certificate. She was living with her parents rent free, and making more money than he was at the time, refused to share custody and it took 2 years of mediation before she admitted to him that she didn't want to give him joint custody bc she was concerned she'd get less child support even though all he wanted was more time with his child.
I'm not saying this is every case, but it's also not a great system. At least in my state. It can be done better.
@@Not_CIA are you in SC? If DSS is going after someone for child support, it's because the kid is on government assistance. Was the mother on Medicaid? That's the only assistance the kid could have been on right from birth. Even then, DSS has to take the father to court to get put on child support. DSS can't make you pay anything without it.
If the mother is on government assistance, the state will seek child support from the other parent, as they should. You need to pay for the kid.
@ashleygraham1011 I'm in NC. She was not on medicaid or Medicare as she was working full time and had insurance through her job. He started paying child support the day after he was born. And took two years and thousands of dollars to get 6 extra days a month with his kid. My other brother went through the same process when him and his wife divorced. She left, she got full custody and he had to start paying her. All the kids were over 10 years old and he had to fight for years to get custody. So once again, why should he have to fight and pay thousands of dollars just to get equal rights? Especially when they raised the kids together and he wanted to be with his kids more than his ex? I've seen this numerous times. I understand paying child support, no one is arguing that. But if you're paying child support and you want to be the father you should not have to fight the mother and the system to get equal rights. That's it.
Has steve ever said its bad to have total blind faith in a system youve never been a part of? He should
No, but he has said he trusts the institutions and not the individuals that make up the institutions.
@@chpgmr1372that only works if said institution has written rules and regulations with little wiggle room. The constitution is one yet he bitches about that.
@chpgmr1372 fair, but it only takes one person to beat you outta a whole system
Rare destiny L? I think automatically giving custody to a mother is kinda dumb if the guy genuinely wants to be with the kid
Yeah, but how do you determine the father is the father till a paternity test gets back. Once he proves paternity then he can have custody, or if he's there and puts his name on the birth certificate. You're arguing about a situation where the woman shows up by herself to the hospital.
@@xbabu142x The redpillers are all for mandatory DNA tests. Could go with that and give both 50/50 custody rights as a basis unless one of the parents gets proven to be unfit.
@@xbabu142x If the court thinks it has enough proof to order child support then it can order shared custody.
I don’t think there’s any level of new info outside of studies that don’t exist that’ll help Destiny understand things from a different perspective
Destiny is so argumentative sbout subject matter that he admits he doesn't know much about.
In these conversations hes constantly injecting his own bias about guys but then wants a stat fir anything someond says counter to his own bias
*Sad but tue.*
I normally agree with Destiny but in this topic as a father not married and my friends we all want our kids to primarily live with us wtf?
So basically what you're saying is that because you actually have real world experience that refutes destiny's idealistic bubble arguments in this instance, you're able to see through it. Now extrapolate that further and you'll see how ridiculous he sounds to the rest of us.
If a man gets a woman pregnant on accident and says he does not want a child but the woman refuses to give up the fetus, why should he be forced to pay for the child he never wanted and asked to not have?
He should’ve been more responsible dude.
This is a BS take. You can’t just go around knocking chicks up and then act like an asshole.
I don’t want to mind-read too hard here, but it felt like Destiny felt obligated to take bad positions under the perceived threat that they undermine his narrative when in my mind they don’t.
It can still be perfectly true that most men are deadbeat dads with no interest in taking care of their child while also acknowledging that the portion of well-meaning Dads that do fight for custody are disadvantaged in the system.
On the point towards the beginning about declaring custody in the cases of unmarried couples, it felt like the point was missed super hard. It makes sense in the case that the father is absent that full custody would be granted to the mother WHILE STILL requiring child support.
It’s also true that if you are on good terms with the mother, it’s likely a non-issue and she’ll have no problem putting you on the birth certificate and granting joint custody.
However, in a scenario where you are on BAD terms with the mother - it’s an unreasonably high standard to have to prove that the mother is UNFIT to get any custody. The mother very well could be a fit caregiver and is also just an asshole. “Lol dont have kids out of wedlock” is a very lame handwave at this.
I am sympathetic to the idea that it’s hard to engage with material without appealing to objective sources like data - and it’s not that everything the lawyer says just has to be accepted as 100% automatic fact - but it’s very important to acknowledge the lawyer’s point that the tiny amount of studies that do exist can’t provide the whole picture.
This also isn’t something that necessarily HAS to counteract Destiny’s greater narrative either, but he seemed to feel like it did.
I’m not saying I have a perfect or even good understanding of the set of incentives family law attorneys have in a debate like this, but it felt like Destiny believed there was some sort of bias on the lawyer’s part that I didn’t quite understand.
The point was made that the lawyer only sees the messiest fractions of all custody negotiations, but isn’t that “sliver” precisely what’s being fought about? If we’re trying to get to the bottom of how men fair when they have to fight for custody, and it’s stated that only 10% of divorces even go to that point, aren’t we only actually talking about that extreme messy 10% that the lawyer would be reached out for?
I might be tripping, but I felt a little lost on parts of this.
I think Destiny doesn't want to open up pandoras box here, like if he agrees with the lawyer he will look bad and also won't be able to use studies for his points anymore. If one study was bogus then how many other ones could be?
Destiny over relies on studies and assumes they are 100% accurate simply because they are studies. If they are based on interviews about behavior then yes, people can lie. And you shouldn’t therefore assume the studies have the same veracity as a study where they check for all perimeters.
@@Kuroganemk2 Well any statistician could destroy Destiny's point.
The study has sampled population from Massachusetts only. How can destiny use that to argue for the entire US? The sampled population and target population are entirely different at this point.
"the only reason they fight so hard is to get out of paying child support"
what?! is it impossible that they are fighting to have a life together with their own children? Destiny is a robot.
Ya.
“WhERe arE tHe sTaTs DeStIny”
Not only red pillers argue that the courts favor women in custody battles destiny.
Yea he’s so set on destroying the red pill that the actual few good points they make he still fights against
Thank you.