This is exactly how I watched my Mom pass. Days before, as the family sat and watched an old football game, talking and reminiscing, my mother just watched my daughter, who sat next to her, with the most incredible look of love in her eyes. I will never forget that moment. The last day was exactly as this film describes. She was unconscious, shallow breathing, the "death rattle", the family all gathered around her. Two daughters, my husband, and her three grandchildren. We watched her take her last breath and she was at peace. I hope my last moments will be spent with my family. I will never regret being there for her. When she was younger, she was frightened of dying. As she grew older, she no longer feared it, but she never discussed it. That was okay. My job was to make sure she went out with love and peace around her. I accomplished that. This is a beautiful film.
It’s not always so “normal.” My little sister who passed away from breast cancer did not go so quietly. My brother in law told me her last words were Help Me. He told me she was scared and didn’t want to go. The hospice people gave her medications morphine to help calm her but she wanted to live. So I wonder if some people do have a hard time leaving life as we know it. I think it’s important talking about difficult endings as well. Also both of my parents were scared - they had heart attacks and were in the emergency room at the hospital after being brought there by ambulance. It’s not always so calm and easy which is why living in the present moment and loving as much as we can is so important. But I feel it is important to acknowledge sometimes it’s not as this video described.
I lost my Nan only two weeks ago. After hearing Kathryn talk only 3 months ago. I felt more prepared, more at peace, and more capable of enduring the process of being there for her whilst she was dying because I'd had space to think about it prior to needing to deal with it in person. Her talk helped me enormously to understand what to expect and helped me model how to approach those conversations with my family. Talking about death, and allowing space to understand and learn about death is such a gift. Thank you for working with Kathryn and making this animation.
I read both of Katheyn's books as my mum's journey with dementia reached its end. I'd hoped that knowing more would help me, but it didn't. Because if her books, I trusted that the staff would make sure my mother was comfortable. I made sure that they had scripts ready to help with pain and restlessness. Then we found ourselves going through hell with her, surrounded by uncaring staff and an rn who was too scared to give her the morphine we felt she needed. We are haunted by the fear that she suffered in her last days and we have no way of knowing when her awareness left because her dementia meant she could not communicate with her and nobody was there to tell us what was happening at each stage. It was terrible. Your books gave me a false sense of trust in the professionals around us. I feel betrayed twice. Once by the system and once by you, Kathryn, for making me think it would be ok. It was not. It was far from ok. 6 months later I am still haunted.
What a beautiful film! It was such a pleasure to write music for this animation gem and important topic. Thank you Emily, Kathryn and Theos for having me!
That is beautiful. Thank you! I lost both my parents in a short time period, and in painful ways. Dying from cancer is not as soft and gentle as described in the video, but I found it comforting anyway.
Thank you for this. My elderly mother passed recently. She basically went to bed for 17 days taking only sips of water. Everything was peaceful. Myself and the Care Home staff sang hymns around her bed during those days and I prayed. In the last two days mum repeatedly pointed across the room and said that someone was there. She eventually said it was her sister. She just stopped breathing one morning, no death rattle and no distress. I miss her very much.
Excellent! I hope this is made into a booklet that can be used (and read!) by health workers involved in the care of dying patients., perhaps adding the role of medication to control distressing symptoms.
I’ve watched this so many times today. It’s so gentle yet so informative. I will be sharing with my patients and their relatives. I think it will help them all xx
Can you do a grieving for beginners PLEASE I have recently lost a family member but still not informed by remaining family members this feels like I too am dead
At every step of the way the Hospice folks were great at helping us understand what we were seeing was normal and was not being experienced by my mom as distress. Looking back on it, that way of presenting information piecemeal felt herky-jerky and left me wondering at each point what sort of mysterious thing would happen next. I wish I could’ve seen this video early in the process as it gently demystifies the arch of what would likely happen in her final week & more importantly what my mom’s experience of it would be.
I think this is one of the best videos which RUclips showed me.. Thank you so much Kathryn Mannix. I am so proud to be a colleague of yours. Lots of love from Turkey
No fear or panic? Lady, you have only observed death of people who pass from old age naturally. Trust me, seeing someone die from unnatural cause such as in combat, there is fear and panic in them. It is unnatural and the helplessness is the worst part.
Kathryn why have you left out the important if not MOST important factors of spiritual, unexpected and other worldly encounters and episodes? Why did you not normalise this aspect if dying? With your experience you must know how normal these experiences are and how most people are frightened and confused by what is very normal in the days or weeks before a person dies. I feel this was very irresponsible and inauthentic of you. If we cannot normalise this aspect of dying, the fact that we don’t simply cease to exist and that we in fact live on how can we ever return to people not being sacred of the dying process and help them embrace what is a normal and beautiful part of our life here on earth? Instead people like you keep the fear going and make death scary and difficult for not only those passing over but also for those who are caring for them and especially those who are so scared by the process that they make themselves altogether absent and miss out in what can be some of the most beautiful, growth promoting and life changing experiences of their lives. Those who are exposed to death through their careers should do everything they can to educate and help others become more comfortable with the life event which is as important and as precious as birth. I challenge you to go further in your work and be completely open with what else you know about the process of dying and by doing so really help us to normalise death.
Sorry, while this person makes some valid comments about dying, this seems something of a fluff piece to mollify and comfort the living. I have had experience of five dying persons, some stoic, some frightened, some not wanting to die, some wanting to die, but not one has been a good death. I am not saying that a good death is not possible; I'm sure it is. But that has not been my experience.
Five? Hardly a representative sample size - KM has personally witnessed over 10,000 - the excellent video is about 'ordinary death'. As for 'something of a fluff piece' - that's quite rude. Take the time to read Dr Mannix's 'With the End in Mind' - your perspective might alter.
I'm currently sitting with my mum who is dying, and I'm playing the sound of the sea as she loved the sea. This video is beautifully made. Thank you x
Thank you for sharing 🙏
This is exactly how I watched my Mom pass. Days before, as the family sat and watched an old football game, talking and reminiscing, my mother just watched my daughter, who sat next to her, with the most incredible look of love in her eyes. I will never forget that moment. The last day was exactly as this film describes. She was unconscious, shallow breathing, the "death rattle", the family all gathered around her. Two daughters, my husband, and her three grandchildren. We watched her take her last breath and she was at peace. I hope my last moments will be spent with my family. I will never regret being there for her. When she was younger, she was frightened of dying. As she grew older, she no longer feared it, but she never discussed it. That was okay. My job was to make sure she went out with love and peace around her. I accomplished that. This is a beautiful film.
Thanks so much for sharing!
My Dad died in agony in hospital (of sepsis) aged 95. I had always wanted to be with him but it happened so quickly.
After watching this video, I feel reassured that my Dad may have heard our comforting words during the final few hours of his death.
Just how my mum passed. Now I understand. Ty ❤
It’s not always so “normal.” My little sister who passed away from breast cancer did not go so quietly. My brother in law told me her last words were Help Me. He told me she was scared and didn’t want to go. The hospice people gave her medications morphine to help calm her but she wanted to live. So I wonder if some people do have a hard time leaving life as we know it. I think it’s important talking about difficult endings as well. Also both of my parents were scared - they had heart attacks and were in the emergency room at the hospital after being brought there by ambulance. It’s not always so calm and easy which is why living in the present moment and loving as much as we can is so important. But I feel it is important to acknowledge sometimes it’s not as this video described.
I think it's for old age death mostly
Sometimes morphine can make people panic (it does for me… it did for my mother who went similarly.)
Thank you now i know everyone is end is different 🙏
Maybe that was guilt; regret ..
It only applies to dying of being too old. Otherwise, you are right, not everyone experiences a peaceful death.
I lost my Nan only two weeks ago. After hearing Kathryn talk only 3 months ago. I felt more prepared, more at peace, and more capable of enduring the process of being there for her whilst she was dying because I'd had space to think about it prior to needing to deal with it in person. Her talk helped me enormously to understand what to expect and helped me model how to approach those conversations with my family. Talking about death, and allowing space to understand and learn about death is such a gift. Thank you for working with Kathryn and making this animation.
Very sorry for your loss, but glad that Dr Mannix's work helped you feel more prepared. And glad you enjoyed the animation!
I read both of Katheyn's books as my mum's journey with dementia reached its end. I'd hoped that knowing more would help me, but it didn't. Because if her books, I trusted that the staff would make sure my mother was comfortable. I made sure that they had scripts ready to help with pain and restlessness. Then we found ourselves going through hell with her, surrounded by uncaring staff and an rn who was too scared to give her the morphine we felt she needed. We are haunted by the fear that she suffered in her last days and we have no way of knowing when her awareness left because her dementia meant she could not communicate with her and nobody was there to tell us what was happening at each stage. It was terrible. Your books gave me a false sense of trust in the professionals around us. I feel betrayed twice. Once by the system and once by you, Kathryn, for making me think it would be ok. It was not. It was far from ok. 6 months later I am still haunted.
What a beautiful film! It was such a pleasure to write music for this animation gem and important topic. Thank you Emily, Kathryn and Theos for having me!
Thanks for composing such a beautiful score!!
This is so needed for adults and children. Existential anxiety is at the root cause of much suffering. Thank you for what you've put into the world.
That is beautiful. Thank you! I lost both my parents in a short time period, and in painful ways. Dying from cancer is not as soft and gentle as described in the video, but I found it comforting anyway.
With your beautiful voice Kathryn, this simple powerful message, artfully animated and sweetly accompanied, is perfect in every way!
Thank you for this. My elderly mother passed recently. She basically went to bed for 17 days taking only sips of water. Everything was peaceful. Myself and the Care Home staff sang hymns around her bed during those days and I prayed. In the last two days mum repeatedly pointed across the room and said that someone was there. She eventually said it was her sister. She just stopped breathing one morning, no death rattle and no distress. I miss her very much.
Excellent! I hope this is made into a booklet that can be used (and read!) by health workers involved in the care of dying patients., perhaps adding the role of medication to control distressing symptoms.
Thank you - this video is a gift
You put me at ease thank you
Beautiful! Thanks Kathryn. As an End of Life doula I love the content and style of this "normalizing" video
I’ve watched this so many times today. It’s so gentle yet so informative. I will be sharing with my patients and their relatives. I think it will help them all xx
This is incredibly beautiful. Thanks to all who were involved for putting it together.
Can you do a grieving for beginners PLEASE I have recently lost a family member but still not informed by remaining family members this feels like I too am dead
Thank you, so reassuring.
Beautifully done, Kathryn and team.
Thank You for posting, such an important and needed conversation. Excellent animation and narration. Will help reduce peoples fear of death
At every step of the way the Hospice folks were great at helping us understand what we were seeing was normal and was not being experienced by my mom as distress.
Looking back on it, that way of presenting information piecemeal felt herky-jerky and left me wondering at each point what sort of mysterious thing would happen next.
I wish I could’ve seen this video early in the process as it gently demystifies the arch of what would likely happen in her final week & more importantly what my mom’s experience of it would be.
我陪伴了爸爸的离去时间。视频里描述的所有关于呼吸和知觉的消失过程，我也一一见证💔 感谢Kathryn，给出了平静安逸的说明，让我伤感的记忆，增添了美好和无悔的鲜花和光线❤️ 天上父母永远爱着我们，一切都在。
I think this is one of the best videos which RUclips showed me.. Thank you so much Kathryn Mannix. I am so proud to be a colleague of yours. Lots of love from Turkey
High praise! Thank you so much ❤
Thank you so much for that - wonderfully reassuring.
What an excellent video. Thank you Kathryn, Emily and the Thoes team
Thank you so much for making this and sharing it with everybody. It was incredible.
My Mom and Dad are now dancing with our Ancestors.
I wish that I'd seen this before my mother died several years ago. I would have done things a lot differently. Thank you for making this video.
Absolutely brilliant. Everybody should see this.
Beautiful and inspiring film Kathryn…. From
Sheena, Flo’s Auntie xxxxx❤
Beautiful film 🥰
Woah thank you so much for sharing
Thanks
Thank you very much.
So good. thank you.
Wonderful animation, Emily! ❤
Two words Dr Kathryn....Thank you. :)
brilliant.
No fear or panic? Lady, you have only observed death of people who pass from old age naturally. Trust me, seeing someone die from unnatural cause such as in combat, there is fear and panic in them. It is unnatural and the helplessness is the worst part.
Kathryn why have you left out the important if not MOST important factors of spiritual, unexpected and other worldly encounters and episodes? Why did you not normalise this aspect if dying? With your experience you must know how normal these experiences are and how most people are frightened and confused by what is very normal in the days or weeks before a person dies. I feel this was very irresponsible and inauthentic of you. If we cannot normalise this aspect of dying, the fact that we don’t simply cease to exist and that we in fact live on how can we ever return to people not being sacred of the dying process and help them embrace what is a normal and beautiful part of our life here on earth? Instead people like you keep the fear going and make death scary and difficult for not only those passing over but also for those who are caring for them and especially those who are so scared by the process that they make themselves altogether absent and miss out in what can be some of the most beautiful, growth promoting and life changing experiences of their lives. Those who are exposed to death through their careers should do everything they can to educate and help others become more comfortable with the life event which is as important and as precious as birth.
I challenge you to go further in your work and be completely open with what else you know about the process of dying and by doing so really help us to normalise death.
Ok kooky boochek
Sorry, while this person makes some valid comments about dying, this seems something of a fluff piece to mollify and comfort the living. I have had experience of five dying persons, some stoic, some frightened, some not wanting to die, some wanting to die, but not one has been a good death. I am not saying that a good death is not possible; I'm sure it is. But that has not been my experience.
Five? Hardly a representative sample size - KM has personally witnessed over 10,000 - the excellent video is about 'ordinary death'. As for 'something of a fluff piece' - that's quite rude. Take the time to read Dr Mannix's 'With the End in Mind' - your perspective might alter.