I’m disappointed with dad’s hospice team. The last week of his life and nothing was said. I could tell he didn’t have much longer. I got up very early last Tuesday I saw a light disappear as soon as I saw it, I said, “Oh, ok.” I got dressed quickly my husband offered to go with me, I told him I wanted to be alone with my dad. An aide let me in it was about 6am. I see dad and tell the nurse he’s dying dad is moved to a private room. I call Hospice and tell her my dad is going to die and she says, “How do you know?!” I didn’t go into details. I probably should’ve told her an angel told me. I sang to my dad I can’t sing at all but there I was singing not with my own voice. I was worshipping God and praying for everyone I could name. I finally sit down and he takes his last breaths, shuts his eyes quickly and then they slowly open, his soul was gone. I was among heavenly beings! I could feel them! So many neighbors have told me how dad was good to them and help them with repairs. Dad never overcharged them. He took in the same family twice during Allison and Harvey. Dad is in Heaven! I pray this gives you all Hope. Pray for me because I’m missing him terribly. Dad was 90.
Thank you. My husband passed and it must have been very peaceful. I was sitting in a chair and nodded a little when I woke up and realized that he had died. I felt bad I had wanted to be awake. He was still warm so I laid down beside him and hugged him. I'm glad I did will always remember that moment. I'm 84. I should say my son is frank scarborough and this is phone I use it at times though😊
It's okay that you were asleep when he took his last breath. My father did the same thing when he passed. My mother has been sitting vigil for hours and the moment she stepped out of the room to use the restroom, he took his last breath. I was holding his hand. It was as if he waited the entire day for her to slip out of the room so he could leave too. I thought it was sweet. He adored my mom. They were in their late 50s when he died, and Mom is 87 now.
I can't say, "Thank You!" enough for all of your videos. I'm a 70 yr. old mom with CNA experience. I just had to help take care of my 41 yr. old daughter dying of Stage 4 Lung Cancer. Because of my experience of working in a nursing home and your videos, I was able to tell others around me what to expect and explain that certain things were normal in a dying person. I luckily got to go back to 'mom mode' for a few days when they moved her into an amazing hospice facility. Those nurses were hyper-vigilant with her pain meds, and they quickly got her on a continuous flow of liquid pain meds into her port. Her total cancer battle only lasted 279 days, and she just passed Oct. 1. They gave her 2-3 months but she was gone in 14 days. I've felt so much peace knowing everything was done that could be done.
Same!!! I thought my grandmother was suffering but no one told me what dying looked like. Had someone told me, I wouldn't have suffered myself all these years thinking she was dying a horrible death because her mouth was open and her tongue was hanging out.
@@sarahveine I'm so sorry! Being a newbie to death myself (plus not knowing my family had put on a 'do not resuscitate' for my father), once he actively began to become less alive, I flew out of his room, running up to the nurses station crying and begging for help.... It was terrible... I too am very thankful for this helpful video. Take good care! 🫶
I was with my husband holding his hand and he had no eye contact with me...I just told him how much I loved him and sorry he had to leave me...his breathing was different and I wasn't alarmed...he was certainly unconscious and died in his home while I hugged him..💔
@@margaretalbert69 🫤🥺🫣😩 Awh geez... Margaret, I-I, I just can't imagine 😭 I'm SO sorry dear... I so hope you're healing and your life is soft and gentle.... that's just such a devastating reality... I've been with my best friend and husband for only 24 years... moving forward in this world without him would leave me to wonder what to do with myself, plus a whole host of other difficulties... as I imagine you are presently or have navigated also. There are many outlets online for people that have lost loved ones. Margaret, not knowing your personal information, and if you have emotional support, if you are alone, like many are, don't hesitate to begin connecting with others online with similar circumstances. I've heard nothing but very positive results from engaging with others! I'm here too! I'm always ready to lend an ear. Take care dear. Be patient gentle and kind to yourself. 😊💗🕊💐
Just because something is natural does not mean it is good, dignified or painless. Nature has no sense of right, wrong or dignity. Always be suspicious of those words when anyone, anywhere tells you that.
My mother passed after just a week in hospice. My sister and I shared a cot next to her bed. On the last day, we were so tired, we fell asleep in a deep nap… that’s when Mom let go. I felt horrible that we weren’t awake for her last breaths. The hospice nurses said that it’s very common. By falling asleep, we gave her the opportunity to let go. ❤
Sorry. I missed my dad's passing. I went home to have a shower then I got a call to say he had died. I'm kind of glad I missed it because the pain would have been too much to bear. 4 weeks later my mum dies of cancer but I was there to see her take her last breath.
My wife was a hospice nurse, and she said that it is very common for patients to hang around as long as family members are at their bedside. It’s as if they feel the need to be a “good host”. Very often, the family decides to step out for coffee for “five minutes” and during that time, they will pass away. It’s as though they were waiting for their family to leave, so that they could full let go.
@@bigedslobotomy My dad did this. He lingered for days and we kept wondering what he was waiting for. I even told him that it was okay to go. I finally decided to go home and try to take a nap (I hadn't gotten much sleep at all the last few weeks of his life) and he passed within minutes of my leaving.
My Dad passed away at 101 years old. A WWII veteran. He was in the final stages of Dementia. He didn’t eat or drink for 3 days. We tried IV fluid but his circulatory system wasn’t working. It collected in one arm. We played 2 movies for him with headphones on him. The Benny Goodman Story and the Glenn Miller story. He had a smile on his face when listening . I feel he loved it. He died at home. ❤❤❤. He died on Sept 13 this year .
My wife passed 2 weeks ago at home in our bed. Her active dying duration was 3 - 4 days. I expected to see and saw all of what is being described here. However, the intensity of the items was much more intense than I expected. The secretions (Death rattle) were for 11 hours, and almost more than I could handle alone at home. I called my hospice nurse who brougt a specific oral medicine which I administered and felt it was very helpful. God bless us all.
Thank you. My mother was placed on hospice 4 months ago. She is really a fighter, but I can see her transitioning to the end of life. I appreciate your videos. They have really helped me.
I stay away from watching this part, it's too much, but the one thing I can do is dress a body after death, I dressed my mom's body, it was peaceful, she looked peaceful, it was reverent, it gave me closure, I could feel her presence and my dad was there too, he died 30 years before she did. One of the most spiritual experiences I've had.
My mom passed September 9, 2024. I don’t have the words to explain the feelings of watching her take her last breathe, it was comforting knowing that I took good care of her thanks to Nurse Julie and mom’s hospice care team ❤. My daughter and I washed her and dressed her in beautiful pink pajamas ❤ it was so beautiful ❤
Me as well. I cared for my Daddy solely the last 7.5yrs of his life. No hospice, no nothing. No warning whatsoever. One moment he was here, the next he was gone….dr’s never said he was going. I’m glad he seemed like he peacefully went in his sleep whilst napping at home in my care. Still feels like it was just moments ago. I miss him with everything & every single breath I can muster up still as I type this. • Thank you & your daughter for caring so much for your Daddy too 🫶
Oct 7th, 2024 and thank - you for sharing here. I to am the sole - only care assist for my Brother a major stroke Enduring Survivor near 4 yrs I Just Love Him❤ Too Piece's! there'd be No SNF's ! so 45 day's post stroke "I" discharged him Hospices was ok'd "HOME bound,, a d.n.r. attached to a dangling hospital wrist band LoL, but not too loudly, I mean that stroke really took a lot from him. due to severe speech apraxia dysphasia along with severe global aphasia! both receptive and expressive just shattered all modalities of language, speech, single words, sentences, conversation, all spoken output. "no s.n.f.'s" assistance dependent heavy, incontinent X2, "no s.n.f.'s" I had too continually remind the treating hospitals the doc's the nursing staff, the rehabilitation therapist's, case management bla! bla bla as they'd pour on the gasoline lol regarding brothers level of care I'd Everytime!! "NO!! SKILLED NURSING FACILITIES! PERIOD!" HEAVE HOE too sixteen of the twenty pharmacologies he had in a brown paper sack at discharging They said 1 year ! We're counting nearing 4 year's I love him too piece's ❤ Thanks again for Sharing Your's truly Bradley Parker ✝️
My dad passed 4 days ago (he was very unwell beforehand due to multiple different reasons) but he went very peacefully in the hospital and I was there holding his hand till he took his very last breath. I’ve watched your videos for a while now due to a kind of morbid curiosity and if I hadn’t have educated myself on the death rattle I would’ve freaked out and most likely made everyone else panic too due to me being a very anxious person. But your videos helped me understand and not be so afraid and how to tell that he was peaceful in his passing and I’m glad I was there so he wasn’t alone ❤
My mom was on hospice and she got to a point to were she wouldnt wake up and when she did it was only for a couple of minutes at a time, we were told she was in stage 2 of actively dying we were devastated, she was like this for a couple of days and then all the sudden she woke up, i came in the living room one morning and shes eating chips, i was in shock! That was 6 months ago, shes still very ill but definitely not dying, i dont know what was going on during that time but i thank god every day that i have her back ❤
I worked at a nursing home for a couple of years in the mid-80s and really loved the job that I had on the Alzheimer's wing. The head nurse put me with every person that was dying because I was able to really help them because of my compassion. After passing I had no problem with cleaning and dressing them and making them ready to be taken away. They made me Nurses Aide of the year and then I got a job at caterpillar as a certified welder but will never regret working at that nursing home.
I felt so fortunate to be with my husband throughout his dying process. It wasn't easy, he was very agitated for the last 12 hours, but hospice walked me through what to expect and I was able to be present in the moment for him, hold him and reassure him. It felt very sacred.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish there were more videos discussing this odd near death violent activity. My in-law GFIL had to be put in an awful state institution because his end of life dementia included violent tendencies. He had been the most kind and sweet Southern Gentleman you'd ever be blessed to meet. That brain disease robbed his dignity, his basic compassion and ultimately his physical freedom.
I miss my little brother so much. He was 58 had pancreatic cancer stage 4. Please pray for me to find some comfort. I know he's not suffering anymore but my heart is so crushed. We were very close. I hope he's watching over me
@@Jess-sr3jw Psalms 25:16/17 Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. 17 Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. I hope and pray for you to find comfort 🙏🤗🙏
Dear Jess, please be sure, that there are people all over the world right now... reading of your sorrow and can totally relate to it - like me - a grown up male from Hamburg/Germany (so please forgive my poor language skills) who's heart cries out to you and wanted nothing more than comforting your soul... And I can assure you, that I will pray to our Lord right now to watch over you, to bless you and keep you safe.
Jess, I feel your pain. My oldest brother 64 was just diagnosed with stage four prostate cancer 1 month ago. 2 months ago he was fine. No sign or symptoms other than problems urinating at night, which he has had for years. It has rapidly spread to his bone, lungs, lymph nodes. Doctors are not doing much of anything for him. Meanwhile he is in terrible pain. My family and I are all in shock. I have never prayed so hard in my life. Asking God for a miracle.
My aunt showed absolutely no signs that she was dying. She was in hospice a few days because of cancer. The nurses checked on her around 3 am. She just looked very comfortable sleeping, was warm to touch, and her hands and feet were pink. When the nurse checked on her at 6, she had passed away. They were very perplexed and told me that they were grateful she had no pain or distress.
My mom was 89 when she passed 8 months ago. We had a good hospice team but sometimes they would say things around her that they shouldn’t have. She understood every bit of it. I had to tell them to talk to me in the other room instead of in front of her. She did everything Julie was describing. She had her rally on a Saturday and the next day she just went down hill. Love them while they are here because they are scared of the unknown. Let them know it’s ok to feel this way. My mom went peacefully and in no pain. I thank God for that❤
I lost my parents last year to cancer. My mother was in her dying phase when i reached the hospital. I was with her in her last few minutes. She did the death rattle. I held her hand. Told her I loved her. My dad died of cancer 4 weeks earlier.
My sister just passed on August 29. She had Alzheimer’s, but we had to move her to the nursing home, and she just gave up. She stopped eating and then drinking. Before we left, I could see her moving her lips, and I knew she was talking to someone I couldn’t see. No sound came out. We left, and she passed a few hours later. Her being alone when she passed is bothering me so much. I know that they say that they are never alone, someone is there to bring them to Heaven, but I worry that she felt abandoned by us. I miss her! So many times during the day I think that I must tell her this or that, but I can’t. She’s not here anymore.
My 5 siblings and me, the eldest born, have been mourning the death of mom, we have been taking turns, traveling to Riverside, California, we live all around the nation. Mom died March 19, 2024 at 7:03pm. At first, I was in such shock and I was comforting our dad, who is totally deaf & has had Dementia at least 14 years, dad is declining, but you can’t predict when a person with dementia is dying. My husband was with me for the first week, while I watched over mom, I knew as soon as I saw her in early March that she was dying, she ate a little yogurt that 1st day, after that she refused everything, she had no liquid for 9 days. On the sixth day she entered actively dying, I saw immediately, her mouth was hanging open and her eyes were open but she was like a statue. The head of her Hospice, Mell , came that night (Saturday) and diagnosed my mom as actively dying and told me to get photos of my mom over dad’s bed, because dad became very lucid and he could read my lips, he asked pointedly on Sunday why I was crying and I just said “mom”, he knew she dying and he was so sad. My brother and 1 sister arrived Sunday evening. On Tuesday my siblings had to go to airport and pick up my sister’s husband, I knew mom was dying, but I just was in shock and praying my siblings would get back fast. I told mom, again that she was beautiful and I loved her so much, that my siblings were returning as fast as possible. They got back at 6:45…mom died 19 minutes later. I couldn’t feel my mom’s presence at first, but she was there, loving me through that week as we prepared for her funeral. I just got back from my 4th visit to California to visit my dad for the 4th time, it was very difficult, but I need to let him know he is not alone, we all do. He is getting closer and closer to death, I wish I knew when, so I could be with him when he passes, like I was for mom, I promised her to stay until her end, she asked me to please stay with her, but my husband picked up Covid and we had to leave immediately in February. Everyone’s grief is different.
If it's any consolation, I am not sure if I want my kids around when I go. It is a very private moment/experience between Jesus and myself and I think I might prefer it to be just between Him and me. Know that you loved your sister in the living years, and that bond, you will have forever. It is possible that she felt it might be easier for you to not be there when she too had that very precious, once in a lifetime moment with Eternity. Grieve not, her soul has taken flight. It is a very emotional part of our short lives and maybe she chose to pass away, her way, thinking that it might spare you the tears. Keep her in your heart and talk to here every day. I talk to my dad every day and he passed away in 1975. I hold on to the hope that he will be waiting there for me when it is my time to finally go home. Hugs from Burnaby, BC ss ruclips.net/video/gG4TfA3_u4I/видео.html
I visited my aunt while she was actively dying. She was at her oldest daughter’s home. Much of the education you’ve provided has helped me to know she transitioned appropriately & with no pain. TYSM❣️
I just went through the active dying phase with my father. He started transforming Wednesday and by Monday he was gone. I guess he was active Friday through Monday. I was there with him when he took his last breaths, seemed like 6 or 7 breaths with very long pauses and then finally he was gone. I’ve been preparing myself for about a year now by watching your videos and others on the dying process. They were very helpful. Thank you
My mom was taken off a feeding tube and she went 21 days before death. On her last day the whites of her eyes were black 😔 She did go peacefully, I wish I could go back and hold her more during the process 😢 After she passed my dad went to talk to the staff. Alone in the room with her I distinctly heard her whisper my name “Mandy”, only my family calls me that. I turned to her, she was still gone. I cherish that whisper, even if it wasn’t real ❤
Im so glad to hav found your channel .. I watched my grandpa pass away from pancreatic cancer when I was 11... I stayed with him while all the adults were freaking out... I stayed until his body became cold.....and after a while..I do remember a smell. My kids and I lost a dear neighbor/friend of ours 3 weeks ago.. she was like a granny to us... The first two days before hospice came we were all not knowing what to do...not eating...deep sleeping..not moving....I was wondering if she was starving...she had just ate yogurt 3 days prior...but your videos explained everything so perfectly...I was able to relax. The process is going to happen 😞..we can only pray its as peaceful as Miss Rose went.....like sleeping Beauty. Thank you for educating us!! It is an honor to be with your loved ones as they take their last breath.
I’m worried as my dear beloved uncle went in for his first round of chemo 4 weeks ago to treat terminal pancreatic cancer. His mobility has been severely affected and he also has peripheral neuropathy. When I saw him last night, it exhausts him to even get up out of his seat. My fear is he may not have long left now. My heart goes out to everyone going through this with a loved one. It is truly heart-wrenching.
My mother is in the final stages after 6 rounds of chemo for ovarian cancer and has the same symptoms as your uncle. She can barely walk to the bathroom and is so weak and frail. It's sad but also a privilege to be there for them.
This was excellent. Watching the drawn-out death of a loved one when you don't understand what's happening is traumatic. I know it was for me. The second drawn-out death of a loved one was awful as well - but I knew what to expect, at least. More importantly, I knew what didn't indicate suffering. I hope a lot of people see this. The comment Echo_1174 made about your words healing a fractured mind was spot on. Thank you so much for sharing the how-do-we-know info. It's 18 years later, and that just brought me some peace. ❤
My Dad (stepdad,...but he was WAY more of a father to me than my bio father!) is nearing death from White Matter Disease with Dementia. We had him transported to the hospital Saturday, because he had no more strength to stand for even a moment, and he was hallucinating badly. He has been eating less and less, and was severely dehydrated. This evening he was moved to a nursing home. He has a living will and is DNR. Yesterday he only ate three bites of eggs. I don't think he'll last more than a week, at least I hope not, because he has no quality of life at all. It's time for him to not be in pain any more (back injury two years ago). He is 93. I appreciate your video and several others I have watched about dying from Dementia. Thank you.
Thank you for your videos, the hospice nurses were impressed with how much I knew during the time my Mom was dying. I owe that to you. I have to say even though I knew I was still scared, it was still a shock. I had watched the videos you posted of others dying, but it just really can't prepare you to watch that happen with your own parent. I worry about if my mom was comfortable when she passed. I had given her morphine and anti-anxiety meds shortly before, but discovered she had messed herself (had bad c-diff with colon cancer). Thankfully hospice came quick to help clean her up. I was in the laundry room getting ready to start a load of bedding and clothes for her when she made a noise while they were moving her around to clean her up, her leg was hanging off the bed a bit. It bothered me because she was silent for 6 days at that point in that unconscious state. I went back to her room and asked if she had said something, they said no she just made a little moan. I went back to the laundry room and within 20 seconds I was faced with the nurse telling me that she was gone. I hate that she went while being cleaned up and I hate that she went when I was out of the room. I am glad that I had given her pain meds shortly before though, so I hope she wasn't suffering. The nurse said I did good and that it was a peaceful death. :( God, I miss her.
I knew he was dying. Told his friend. I said, if he lasts the night, I’ll be shocked. He died at 11:30. Right before midnight. He had been unconscious for a couple days, but I felt it.
My mom died in August and we dealt with many of the things you talk about, thank you so much for preparing us for what was going to happen and how to deal with it. She had a great hospice company that helped and went peacefully at home.
My dad passed just 2 weeks ago (93), and my mom almost exactly 4 years before that(87). Both of them were on hospice for only 2-3 days, and both had the gradual shutdown for the month before death. Their bodies just wore out.
Julie, thank you for all your content that has helped me to get to this point……. I’ve been watching your videos as I’ve cared for my wife over nearly a year , and as the end approached I felt more prepared for what was coming. I’m 82, my wife, 80. CHF,COPD… she’s been in hospice care since January. Three days ago she peacefully just stopped breathing.. and I held her hand,called the hospice people and they were wonderful in managing the details of transferring her to the funeral home, etc. our two sons have arrived, I feel a sense of closure as we iron out the details of the cremation process. Again watching your videos was hard at first but it’s been a wonderful experience getting me through this time.
Thank you your videos gave me the strength to give him a peaceful and a dignified transition, he passed away a very peacefully transition whilst sleeping. I held his hand the night before and I felt he was ready, he kept looking over my shoulder then looked straight into my eyes, I felt his energy via his hand and comforted dad assuring him your family that has crossed over are here and when he is ready they will take him home, his eyes were closed and no dropping of his mouth. It was an honour and he gave me a very special gift as a daughter /nurse thanked dad for being my farther said I love him and kept assuring him it’s ok we will be ok be at peace 🙏❤
I held my mom's hand as she died. These things didn't happen to her, she just gradually slowed down and passed. Her eyes stayed closed and so did her mouth. She had one episode about 45 minutes before she passed where the nurse had to aspirate her because she started choking. After that everything was very peaceful. My cousin and I came into the room about 1-1/2 hours before she passed, and she obviously recognized us as her eyes widened in surprise and she looked like she wanted to say something. After the choking spell, she just seemed to sleep. I was taking her pulse, and it just gradually slowed as did her breathing until they just stopped. She was an inpatient in hospice for about 3 days. She was 94 years old.
I wish I had seen this earlier, before my dad died. It would have helped me see what the signs were and be able to accept them and accommodate hi during this difficult time. Thank you for sharing your information.
Having been present for the last hour of my uncle's life, this is exactly what I witnessed. The one thing that did stick with me is when I said something to comfort him and that was very important to him, one eye did make eye contact with me and within less than a minute, he was gone. It was all very natural and no religion needed.
My dad is currently actively after he passes I will send you videos I don't know what I would've done if I didn't watch your videos Thank you so much ❤
Thank you for this. Someone I love is not there yet but her breathing is. When she's asleep she stops breathing completely for a period of time and then really fast, short breaths. We are awaiting one last procedure and so can't get hospice involved but I wish we could. She's also against hospice right now because she said when she was caring for a friend who was dying she had to call hospice constantly to try and get them to come take care of him. And he was very near death. So she's anti hospice. It's hard to watch her go through this. Congestive heart failure.
I feel the exact same way about hospice as your Mom does. I am glad that you're respecting her wishes. Hospice was horrible with both of my parents, and we used 2 different hospices. I'd call them and they wouldn't come. They would say 'call us when they're gone'. 💔
@@debbih0813 That's awful. My aunt has now moved into active dying. I had a client tell me they met with hospice for her Mom. Her Mom said to the hospice worker, "I want to live to see x." Hospice worker says, "Well that's not going to happen."
I need all this stuff when my mama was passing away because it scared the hell out of me all the different changes to her before she died. I won’t never forget watching her die right in front of my face I was forever changed
I'm so sorry. It really does change your life. I was in the room with my grandmother when when she passed, and I was a caregiver before retirement, so I understand. My prayers are with you. 🙏🏾🌹
This channel has been such a blessing . Our 93 yr old father was at Stanford hospital for 33 days before he passed. He had MRSA. Until the last week we did not know that he was passing and in pain
I've beeen with 3 people that have passed away and i knew when they had about 15 minutes before they passed. It was more of a feeling or a knowing they were leaving.
Nurse Julie you give me so much knowledge comfort help security and above all peace of mind and soul in getting ready for my 96 year old demented mother 🙏💕💖
Thank you again for these videos. I was wondering if you could do a slightly different type of video(s) and talk about how you became a hospice nurse. And what type of qualifications someone should have if they were to choose to be a hospice nurse as a career?
My B-in-L ended up in the hospital because of severe diarrhea and dehydration. He died 3 days later and tests showing he had acute leukemia came back just hours before he died. He never knew he had anything other than a stomach bug. Complete shock!! But he showed symptoms that all of us missed including his regular doctor
My grandmother passed this Sunday. She started the process 1 week before bc she fell of her bed...she rolled in the wrong wat and fell to the floor. Either way I noted she was already walking the proces of death..she wasn't eating much and sleeping a lot more that before... Tha fell out jer into active dying process..it took almost 10 days....It gave us time to process and say goodbye. She said good bye too. It was incredibly sad but peaceful. In the last 6 days she was unconscious and Her eyes were close but her mouth open tho. Her breathing was like snoring, the gurgling sound was way before that (the week before )and then faded and the snoring sound started..She didn't have like a long apnea, her breading stopped but was during a shorter amount of time than that the video showed in this channel.. The nigh before passing (she passed around 8:30 am on sunday 6) her body was all sweat. when I saw her in the Sunday morning around 9:17am she was still warm and she had her fingernails bluish..she didn't showed mottled skin in any oart of her body (bc I was checking hehe, reading a lot about active death and watching this videos helped ne a lot)
You never die alone. There is always somebody to guide you into heaven. Some people may not go right away because they are confused. But everybody goes to heaven.
I believe that. A day before my mom because completely unconscious she said there was a man in an orange suit in the corner there. I have no idea who she was seeing.
Thank you for your videos. I am a nurse and I referred friends to your videos because I couldn’t be with them to explain the process of dying in the moment. They were very upset and thought their loved one was dying a painful death. Your videos are so helpful and educational. I am so thankful to have these as a resource. THANK YOU!!!!
Does temperature drop or rise at end of life? During last 24 hrs how fast does it change? I've heard nurses say death is near b/c of temp. Please explain with examples...thanks lady you're a gem for teaching us.
Why did my mother-in-law have secretions just flowing out of her mouth for the 1/2 hour before she died? It was so hard to watch. I was so relieved when she took her last breath.
My mom had the same thing. Her Hospice nurse said the lungs had over filled with fluid and it backs up. Mom had secretions from her mouth and her nose.
My husband has been gone 11 months. In his last hours his breathing was so much like his usual snoring I was unaware he was transitioning. 😞 I still cry every day.
My sister passed away in March 2023.. I saw her 2 days before she died to say goodbye and tell her I loved her.. Even though she was actively dying at that point, I wonder if she knew I was there, if she heard what I said or knew I kissed her goodbye..❤
My best friend passed 3 weeks ago. Your videos and book helped so much. My friend was able to focus on visitors and talk in a whisper the day before she died. We noticed her feet turning purple on the bottoms about a week before she passed. The next day she was non responsive. She started the death rattle around 3 pm and was gone by 11:30 pm. The death rattle was hard to listen to. We used the medication but found soft music seemed to help. About 3 hours before she died, you could see the color leave her lips and her skin. She felt clammy the last two days. She had fluid weeping out of her arms and legs, too. She was on Hospice 13 days. I’m interested in knowing the average amount of days one is on Hospice in the US. I heard it was 11-17 days. My friend certainly fit that. She had treatment for her cancer up til two weeks before she passed. I think the Drs would still be treating her if she was able to show up. I wish our medical community would be honest with its terminal patients. 😢
Watching my mother die was different than watching my father die. She was in a hospice, I was left alone with her in the last hour. I monitored the slowing breathing, and then the breathing stopped. But I was alarmed when, many seconds later, she swallowed, gently, twice. The nurse said it was reflex.
I remember visiting my mum in law the Sunday before she died and I knew she would not live for the week. My husband was going away for work and I tried to convince him he shouldn’t. I actually more know when they have just died . Remember three different times it has happened.
My mom died of cancer 12 years ago. My dad and I never saw her during the dying phase. She died in the hospital and the hospital gave her hospice care. The hospital called us when she died so I never experienced the dying phase of anyone who I was close to. I did see a dying phase on RUclips of this one 14 year old girl who had cancer 8 times.
My experience in healthcare specifically with being with my own parentsat death. Almost all my siblings (6) were in denial at the end. If people don't want to hear it, well, you know...
I took care of my Mom. She seen people she used to know, she asked for a tequila sunrise fr some guy Joe, she said there was a little boy standing behind me and then she asked me to go behind tv and tell the woman on tv that she wanted to talk to her😳, I took in all in stride, then one morning she had the look of death on her face and stopped talking, the smell Of her urine changed and she died 3 days later. Hee breathing made me cry😢. We walked out of room and by herself she passed. I felt like she waited me and my sister to walk out. It changed my life watching her die. Im honored to have helped her but I miss her soooooo much sometimes it makes my heart my stomach tightening and feel light headed. I went through thinking I had cancer because she had it but I don’t thank God. It was such a hard job for almost a year she was bed ridden and I had to feed her clean her etc but I would it again and again for her.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ rest in peace Mom
My sister (T1 diabetic with chronic kidney disease and and extremely low pulse rate) died within 10-15 minutes of calling my daughter for a bit of help opening a bottle of Milton for the dialysis machine. She passed before my daughter got there and couldn't be brought back. It kills me that no one was with her (she was only 53) and I'm just hoping she didn't suffer or feel uncomfortable. I so often wonder if she was okay.
Ok Sweet Julie, I’m gonna need you to do a tutorial on how you get those perfect waves in your hair!!! I have tried and tried and just cannot do it! LOL Help a sister out! ❤❤
I’m disappointed with dad’s hospice team. The last week of his life and nothing was said. I could tell he didn’t have much longer. I got up very early last Tuesday I saw a light disappear as soon as I saw it, I said, “Oh, ok.” I got dressed quickly my husband offered to go with me, I told him I wanted to be alone with my dad. An aide let me in it was about 6am. I see dad and tell the nurse he’s dying dad is moved to a private room. I call Hospice and tell her my dad is going to die and she says, “How do you know?!” I didn’t go into details. I probably should’ve told her an angel told me. I sang to my dad I can’t sing at all but there I was singing not with my own voice. I was worshipping God and praying for everyone I could name. I finally sit down and he takes his last breaths, shuts his eyes quickly and then they slowly open, his soul was gone. I was among heavenly beings! I could feel them! So many neighbors have told me how dad was good to them and help them with repairs. Dad never overcharged them. He took in the same family twice during Allison and Harvey. Dad is in Heaven! I pray this gives you all Hope. Pray for me because I’m missing him terribly. Dad was 90.
Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. May your grief be comforted by angels. 💖🦋💖
God granted you Peace during his transition. I’m so sorry for your pain and loss.
My condolences on the loss of your father. I'm sure your singing was beautiful and a comfort to your dad.
Prayers up for you. I pray my grandma is in heaven too. ❤
I feel you hon . It’s hard. 🌹🙏 Pray you have dreams about your dad visiting you
Thank you. My husband passed and it must have been very peaceful. I was sitting in a chair and nodded a little when I woke up and realized that he had died. I felt bad I had wanted to be awake. He was still warm so I laid down beside him and hugged him. I'm glad I did will always remember that moment. I'm 84. I should say my son is frank scarborough and this is phone I use it at times though😊
That's so beautiful. Blessings
Bless you ❤
So nice to say goodbye with a hug. Thank you.
It's okay that you were asleep when he took his last breath. My father did the same thing when he passed. My mother has been sitting vigil for hours and the moment she stepped out of the room to use the restroom, he took his last breath. I was holding his hand. It was as if he waited the entire day for her to slip out of the room so he could leave too. I thought it was sweet. He adored my mom. They were in their late 50s when he died, and Mom is 87 now.
I can't say, "Thank You!" enough for all of your videos. I'm a 70 yr. old mom with CNA experience. I just had to help take care of my 41 yr. old daughter dying of Stage 4 Lung Cancer. Because of my experience of working in a nursing home and your videos, I was able to tell others around me what to expect and explain that certain things were normal in a dying person. I luckily got to go back to 'mom mode' for a few days when they moved her into an amazing hospice facility. Those nurses were hyper-vigilant with her pain meds, and they quickly got her on a continuous flow of liquid pain meds into her port. Her total cancer battle only lasted 279 days, and she just passed Oct. 1. They gave her 2-3 months but she was gone in 14 days. I've felt so much peace knowing everything was done that could be done.
So very sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the strength that must have taken, hugs to you.
So sorry for your loss. 🙏💛
@@m.gramlich239 I always said Hospice nurses are truly a gift from God!!❤️
GOD Bless You🙏🏼💖
I am very sorry for your loss
"DO NOT BE ALARMED
THIS IS A NORMAL PROCESS"...
Words that will help heal a fractured mind.
Thank you. 🥀
Same!!! I thought my grandmother was suffering but no one told me what dying looked like. Had someone told me, I wouldn't have suffered myself all these years thinking she was dying a horrible death because her mouth was open and her tongue was hanging out.
@@sarahveine
I'm so sorry! Being a newbie to death myself (plus not knowing my family had put on a 'do not resuscitate' for my father), once he actively began to become less alive, I flew out of his room, running up to the nurses station crying and begging for help....
It was terrible...
I too am very thankful for this helpful video.
Take good care! 🫶
I was with my husband holding his hand and he had no eye contact with me...I just told him how much I loved him and sorry he had to leave me...his breathing was different and I wasn't alarmed...he was certainly unconscious and died in his home while I hugged him..💔
@@margaretalbert69
🫤🥺🫣😩
Awh geez... Margaret, I-I, I just can't imagine 😭
I'm SO sorry dear...
I so hope you're healing and your life is soft and gentle.... that's just such a devastating reality...
I've been with my best friend and husband for only 24 years... moving forward in this world without him would leave me to wonder what to do with myself, plus a whole host of other difficulties... as I imagine you are presently or have navigated also.
There are many outlets online for people that have lost loved ones.
Margaret, not knowing your personal information, and if you have emotional support, if you are alone, like many are, don't hesitate to begin connecting with others online with similar circumstances. I've heard nothing but very positive results from engaging with others!
I'm here too! I'm always ready to lend an ear.
Take care dear. Be patient gentle and kind to yourself. 😊💗🕊💐
Just because something is natural does not mean it is good, dignified or painless. Nature has no sense of right, wrong or dignity.
Always be suspicious of those words when anyone, anywhere tells you that.
I was with a friend during the active dying phase. He had no food or water for 11 days. He died peacefully on day 12.
I had no idea a person could last so long without water! How amazing!
@@lorrmurrcoch He was 96 years old and a concentration camp survivor.
My mother passed after just a week in hospice. My sister and I shared a cot next to her bed. On the last day, we were so tired, we fell asleep in a deep nap… that’s when Mom let go. I felt horrible that we weren’t awake for her last breaths. The hospice nurses said that it’s very common. By falling asleep, we gave her the opportunity to let go. ❤
Sorry. I missed my dad's passing. I went home to have a shower then I got a call to say he had died. I'm kind of glad I missed it because the pain would have been too much to bear. 4 weeks later my mum dies of cancer but I was there to see her take her last breath.
This was so beautifully said❤️
My wife was a hospice nurse, and she said that it is very common for patients to hang around as long as family members are at their bedside. It’s as if they feel the need to be a “good host”. Very often, the family decides to step out for coffee for “five minutes” and during that time, they will pass away. It’s as though they were waiting for their family to leave, so that they could full let go.
@@bigedslobotomyyes! Exactly what they said! ❤
@@bigedslobotomy My dad did this. He lingered for days and we kept wondering what he was waiting for. I even told him that it was okay to go. I finally decided to go home and try to take a nap (I hadn't gotten much sleep at all the last few weeks of his life) and he passed within minutes of my leaving.
My Dad passed away at 101 years old. A WWII veteran. He was in the final stages of Dementia. He didn’t eat or drink for 3 days. We tried IV fluid but his circulatory system wasn’t working. It collected in one arm. We played 2 movies for him with headphones on him. The Benny Goodman Story and the Glenn Miller story. He had a smile on his face when listening . I feel he loved it. He died at home. ❤❤❤. He died on Sept 13 this year .
My deepest condolences to you, and thank you for your father's tremendous service during WWII. It was a sacrifice for the entire family.
My wife passed 2 weeks ago at home in our bed. Her active dying duration was 3 - 4 days. I expected to see and saw all of what is being described here. However, the intensity of the items was much more intense than I expected. The secretions (Death rattle) were for 11 hours, and almost more than I could handle alone at home. I called my hospice nurse who brougt a specific oral medicine which I administered and felt it was very helpful. God bless us all.
Thank you. My mother was placed on hospice 4 months ago. She is really a fighter, but I can see her transitioning to the end of life. I appreciate your videos. They have really helped me.
@@judithbennett2292 read my post above.
@judithbennett2292 my mother has also been in hospice 4 months - God has been so kind to keep her alive ❤️
I stay away from watching this part, it's too much, but the one thing I can do is dress a body after death, I dressed my mom's body, it was peaceful, she looked peaceful, it was reverent, it gave me closure, I could feel her presence and my dad was there too, he died 30 years before she did. One of the most spiritual experiences I've had.
Wow. I'm stunned. I'm glad you had that experience.
My mom passed September 9, 2024.
I don’t have the words to explain the feelings of watching her take her last breathe, it was comforting knowing that I took good care of her thanks to Nurse Julie and mom’s hospice care team ❤. My daughter and I washed her and dressed her in beautiful pink pajamas ❤ it was so beautiful ❤
❤❤❤
Oh WOW! That gives me the chills, even though it shouldn't.
Miss my Daddy every day so glad me and my daughter took care of him. No Medicare no hospice..just us
Thank you for doing that for your Dad. I'm sure he was grateful. God Bless you.
Me as well. I cared for my Daddy solely the last 7.5yrs of his life. No hospice, no nothing. No warning whatsoever. One moment he was here, the next he was gone….dr’s never said he was going. I’m glad he seemed like he peacefully went in his sleep whilst napping at home in my care. Still feels like it was just moments ago. I miss him with everything & every single breath I can muster up still as I type this.
•
Thank you & your daughter for caring so much for your Daddy too 🫶
@@kv6826 🙏🏾❤️
Oct 7th, 2024
and thank - you
for sharing here.
I to am the
sole - only care
assist for my
Brother a
major stroke
Enduring
Survivor
near
4
yrs
I
Just Love Him❤
Too
Piece's!
there'd
be No
SNF's ! so
45 day's post stroke
"I" discharged him
Hospices was ok'd
"HOME bound,, a
d.n.r. attached
to a dangling
hospital
wrist band
LoL, but not
too
loudly, I mean
that stroke really
took a lot from
him.
due to severe speech apraxia dysphasia
along with
severe global aphasia!
both receptive and expressive just
shattered all
modalities
of language,
speech,
single words, sentences,
conversation, all
spoken output.
"no
s.n.f.'s"
assistance dependent heavy,
incontinent X2,
"no
s.n.f.'s"
I
had too continually
remind the treating hospitals the doc's
the nursing staff,
the rehabilitation
therapist's,
case management bla! bla
bla
as they'd pour on
the gasoline lol
regarding brothers
level of care
I'd
Everytime!!
"NO!!
SKILLED
NURSING
FACILITIES!
PERIOD!"
HEAVE HOE
too sixteen of the
twenty
pharmacologies
he had in a brown
paper sack
at discharging
They said
1 year !
We're counting nearing 4 year's
I love him too piece's ❤
Thanks again for Sharing
Your's truly
Bradley Parker
✝️
My dad passed 4 days ago (he was very unwell beforehand due to multiple different reasons) but he went very peacefully in the hospital and I was there holding his hand till he took his very last breath. I’ve watched your videos for a while now due to a kind of morbid curiosity and if I hadn’t have educated myself on the death rattle I would’ve freaked out and most likely made everyone else panic too due to me being a very anxious person. But your videos helped me understand and not be so afraid and how to tell that he was peaceful in his passing and I’m glad I was there so he wasn’t alone ❤
My mom was on hospice and she got to a point to were she wouldnt wake up and when she did it was only for a couple of minutes at a time, we were told she was in stage 2 of actively dying we were devastated, she was like this for a couple of days and then all the sudden she woke up, i came in the living room one morning and shes eating chips, i was in shock! That was 6 months ago, shes still very ill but definitely not dying, i dont know what was going on during that time but i thank god every day that i have her back ❤
I worked at a nursing home for a couple of years in the mid-80s and really loved the job that I had on the Alzheimer's wing. The head nurse put me with every person that was dying because I was able to really help them because of my compassion. After passing I had no problem with cleaning and dressing them and making them ready to be taken away. They made me Nurses Aide of the year and then I got a job at caterpillar as a certified welder but will never regret working at that nursing home.
I felt so fortunate to be with my husband throughout his dying process. It wasn't easy, he was very agitated for the last 12 hours, but hospice walked me through what to expect and I was able to be present in the moment for him, hold him and reassure him. It felt very sacred.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish there were more videos discussing this odd near death violent activity. My in-law GFIL had to be put in an awful state institution because his end of life dementia included violent tendencies. He had been the most kind and sweet Southern Gentleman you'd ever be blessed to meet. That brain disease robbed his dignity, his basic compassion and ultimately his physical freedom.
❤ well done for persevering! God loves you so much.
I miss my little brother so much. He was 58 had pancreatic cancer stage 4. Please pray for me to find some comfort. I know he's not suffering anymore but my heart is so crushed. We were very close. I hope he's watching over me
❤️🙏🏽❤️
@@Jess-sr3jw Psalms 25:16/17 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 Relieve the troubles of my heart
and free me from my anguish. I hope and pray for you to find comfort 🙏🤗🙏
Dear Jess, please be sure, that there are people all over the world right now... reading of your sorrow and can totally relate to it - like me - a grown up male from Hamburg/Germany (so please forgive my poor language skills) who's heart cries out to you and wanted nothing more than comforting your soul...
And I can assure you, that I will pray to our Lord right now to watch over you, to bless you and keep you safe.
💕🙏🙏🙏
Jess, I feel your pain. My oldest brother 64 was just diagnosed with stage four prostate cancer 1 month ago. 2 months ago he was fine. No sign or symptoms other than problems urinating at night, which he has had for years. It has rapidly spread to his bone, lungs, lymph nodes. Doctors are not doing much of anything for him. Meanwhile he is in terrible pain. My family and I are all in shock. I have never prayed so hard in my life. Asking God for a miracle.
My aunt showed absolutely no signs that she was dying. She was in hospice a few days because of cancer. The nurses checked on her around 3 am. She just looked very comfortable sleeping, was warm to touch, and her hands and feet were pink. When the nurse checked on her at 6, she had passed away. They were very perplexed and told me that they were grateful she had no pain or distress.
I hope and pray that one day I will go like that, what a beautiful, peaceful end.
Thank you for all that you do. You are helping people that you will never meet but trust me we are here and most appreciative.
My mom was 89 when she passed 8 months ago. We had a good hospice team but sometimes they would say things around her that they shouldn’t have. She understood every bit of it. I had to tell them to talk to me in the other room instead of in front of her. She did everything Julie was describing. She had her rally on a Saturday and the next day she just went down hill. Love them while they are here because they are scared of the unknown. Let them know it’s ok to feel this way. My mom went peacefully and in no pain. I thank God for that❤
❤
I lost my parents last year to cancer. My mother was in her dying phase when i reached the hospital. I was with her in her last few minutes. She did the death rattle. I held her hand. Told her I loved her. My dad died of cancer 4 weeks earlier.
I’m so very sorry
Andrew.
That's pretty rough brother... that much grief over such a short period...
I hope you are healing.
God bless you.
So sorry ..I wish you nothing but blessings..
@@dentedcokecan thank you
@@Echo_1174 thank you. Yes it was tough. Worst few months of my life but I'm beginning to heal
BE WITH YOUR LOVED ONES......🥀
Important words that should stick in everyone's hearts and heads...
Thank you🥀
My sister just passed on August 29. She had Alzheimer’s, but we had to move her to the nursing home, and she just gave up. She stopped eating and then drinking. Before we left, I could see her moving her lips, and I knew she was talking to someone I couldn’t see. No sound came out. We left, and she passed a few hours later. Her being alone when she passed is bothering me so much. I know that they say that they are never alone, someone is there to bring them to Heaven, but I worry that she felt abandoned by us. I miss her! So many times during the day I think that I must tell her this or that, but I can’t. She’s not here anymore.
Often times they wait for us to leave the room. You can talk to her, she's around. ❤
My 5 siblings and me, the eldest born, have been mourning the death of mom, we have been taking turns, traveling to Riverside, California, we live all around the nation. Mom died March 19, 2024 at 7:03pm. At first, I was in such shock and I was comforting our dad, who is totally deaf & has had Dementia at least 14 years, dad is declining, but you can’t predict when a person with dementia is dying. My husband was with me for the first week, while I watched over mom, I knew as soon as I saw her in early March that she was dying, she ate a little yogurt that 1st day, after that she refused everything, she had no liquid for 9 days. On the sixth day she entered actively dying, I saw immediately, her mouth was hanging open and her eyes were open but she was like a statue. The head of her Hospice, Mell , came that night (Saturday) and diagnosed my mom as actively dying and told me to get photos of my mom over dad’s bed, because dad became very lucid and he could read my lips, he asked pointedly on Sunday why I was crying and I just said “mom”, he knew she dying and he was so sad. My brother and 1 sister arrived Sunday evening. On Tuesday my siblings had to go to airport and pick up my sister’s husband, I knew mom was dying, but I just was in shock and praying my siblings would get back fast. I told mom, again that she was beautiful and I loved her so much, that my siblings were returning as fast as possible. They got back at 6:45…mom died 19 minutes later. I couldn’t feel my mom’s presence at first, but she was there, loving me through that week as we prepared for her funeral. I just got back from my 4th visit to California to visit my dad for the 4th time, it was very difficult, but I need to let him know he is not alone, we all do. He is getting closer and closer to death, I wish I knew when, so I could be with him when he passes, like I was for mom, I promised her to stay until her end, she asked me to please stay with her, but my husband picked up Covid and we had to leave immediately in February. Everyone’s grief is different.
If it's any consolation, I am not sure if I want my kids around when I go. It is a very private moment/experience between Jesus and myself and I think I might prefer it to be just between Him and me. Know that you loved your sister in the living years, and that bond, you will have forever. It is possible that she felt it might be easier for you to not be there when she too had that very precious, once in a lifetime moment with Eternity. Grieve not, her soul has taken flight. It is a very emotional part of our short lives and maybe she chose to pass away, her way, thinking that it might spare you the tears. Keep her in your heart and talk to here every day. I talk to my dad every day and he passed away in 1975. I hold on to the hope that he will be waiting there for me when it is my time to finally go home. Hugs from Burnaby, BC ss
ruclips.net/video/gG4TfA3_u4I/видео.html
❤🙏
@j❤💙🙏
I visited my aunt while she was actively dying. She was at her oldest daughter’s home. Much of the education you’ve provided has helped me to know she transitioned appropriately & with no pain. TYSM❣️
I just went through the active dying phase with my father. He started transforming Wednesday and by Monday he was gone. I guess he was active Friday through Monday. I was there with him when he took his last breaths, seemed like 6 or 7 breaths with very long pauses and then finally he was gone. I’ve been preparing myself for about a year now by watching your videos and others on the dying process. They were very helpful. Thank you
@@IzzyLGolfer
You are a God send. Thank you.
My mom was taken off a feeding tube and she went 21 days before death. On her last day the whites of her eyes were black 😔 She did go peacefully, I wish I could go back and hold her more during the process 😢 After she passed my dad went to talk to the staff. Alone in the room with her I distinctly heard her whisper my name “Mandy”, only my family calls me that. I turned to her, she was still gone. I cherish that whisper, even if it wasn’t real ❤
Im so glad to hav found your channel .. I watched my grandpa pass away from pancreatic cancer when I was 11... I stayed with him while all the adults were freaking out... I stayed until his body became cold.....and after a while..I do remember a smell.
My kids and I lost a dear neighbor/friend of ours 3 weeks ago.. she was like a granny to us... The first two days before hospice came we were all not knowing what to do...not eating...deep sleeping..not moving....I was wondering if she was starving...she had just ate yogurt 3 days prior...but your videos explained everything so perfectly...I was able to relax. The process is going to happen 😞..we can only pray its as peaceful as Miss Rose went.....like sleeping Beauty.
Thank you for educating us!! It is an honor to be with your loved ones as they take their last breath.
I wish I had known about your videos when my husband passed in March. I recognize everything now that he went through in his last days. Thank you.
I’m worried as my dear beloved uncle went in for his first round of chemo 4 weeks ago to treat terminal pancreatic cancer. His mobility has been severely affected and he also has peripheral neuropathy. When I saw him last night, it exhausts him to even get up out of his seat. My fear is he may not have long left now. My heart goes out to everyone going through this with a loved one. It is truly heart-wrenching.
He need’s Jesus 🥺❤️🙏🙏👑🫂
My mother is in the final stages after 6 rounds of chemo for ovarian cancer and has the same symptoms as your uncle. She can barely walk to the bathroom and is so weak and frail. It's sad but also a privilege to be there for them.
This was excellent. Watching the drawn-out death of a loved one when you don't understand what's happening is traumatic. I know it was for me. The second drawn-out death of a loved one was awful as well - but I knew what to expect, at least. More importantly, I knew what didn't indicate suffering. I hope a lot of people see this. The comment Echo_1174 made about your words healing a fractured mind was spot on. Thank you so much for sharing the how-do-we-know info. It's 18 years later, and that just brought me some peace. ❤
My Dad (stepdad,...but he was WAY more of a father to me than my bio father!) is nearing death from White Matter Disease with Dementia.
We had him transported to the hospital Saturday, because he had no more strength to stand for even a moment, and he was hallucinating badly.
He has been eating less and less, and was severely dehydrated. This evening he was moved to a nursing home. He has a living will and is DNR. Yesterday he only ate three bites of eggs. I don't think he'll last more than a week, at least I hope not, because he has no quality of life at all. It's time for him to not be in pain any more (back injury two years ago). He is 93.
I appreciate your video and several others I have watched about dying from Dementia.
Thank you.
💙🙏
Thank you for your videos, the hospice nurses were impressed with how much I knew during the time my Mom was dying. I owe that to you. I have to say even though I knew I was still scared, it was still a shock. I had watched the videos you posted of others dying, but it just really can't prepare you to watch that happen with your own parent.
I worry about if my mom was comfortable when she passed. I had given her morphine and anti-anxiety meds shortly before, but discovered she had messed herself (had bad c-diff with colon cancer). Thankfully hospice came quick to help clean her up. I was in the laundry room getting ready to start a load of bedding and clothes for her when she made a noise while they were moving her around to clean her up, her leg was hanging off the bed a bit. It bothered me because she was silent for 6 days at that point in that unconscious state. I went back to her room and asked if she had said something, they said no she just made a little moan. I went back to the laundry room and within 20 seconds I was faced with the nurse telling me that she was gone. I hate that she went while being cleaned up and I hate that she went when I was out of the room. I am glad that I had given her pain meds shortly before though, so I hope she wasn't suffering. The nurse said I did good and that it was a peaceful death. :( God, I miss her.
I knew he was dying. Told his friend. I said, if he lasts the night, I’ll be shocked. He died at 11:30. Right before midnight. He had been unconscious for a couple days, but I felt it.
My mom died in August and we dealt with many of the things you talk about, thank you so much for preparing us for what was going to happen and how to deal with it. She had a great hospice company that helped and went peacefully at home.
you are a saint! Thank you for your channel!!
Just watched my Mom transition to the other side. I was more surprised of the 'fever' temperature she experienced. Thank you for talking about this.
My dad passed just 2 weeks ago (93), and my mom almost exactly 4 years before that(87). Both of them were on hospice for only 2-3 days, and both had the gradual shutdown for the month before death. Their bodies just wore out.
Julie, thank you for all your content that has helped me to get to this point……. I’ve been watching your videos as I’ve cared for my wife over nearly a year , and as the end approached I felt more prepared for what was coming. I’m 82, my wife, 80. CHF,COPD… she’s been in hospice care since January. Three days ago she peacefully just stopped breathing.. and I held her hand,called the hospice people and they were wonderful in managing the details of transferring her to the funeral home, etc. our two sons have arrived, I feel a sense of closure as we iron out the details of the cremation process. Again watching your videos was hard at first but it’s been a wonderful experience getting me through this time.
Thank you your videos gave me the strength to give him a peaceful and a dignified transition, he passed away a very peacefully transition whilst sleeping. I held his hand the night before and I felt he was ready, he kept looking over my shoulder then looked straight into my eyes, I felt his energy via his hand and comforted dad assuring him your family that has crossed over are here and when he is ready they will take him home, his eyes were closed and no dropping of his mouth. It was an honour and he gave me a very special gift as a daughter /nurse thanked dad for being my farther said I love him and kept assuring him it’s ok we will be ok be at peace 🙏❤
I held my mom's hand as she died. These things didn't happen to her, she just gradually slowed down and passed. Her eyes stayed closed and so did her mouth. She had one episode about 45 minutes before she passed where the nurse had to aspirate her because she started choking. After that everything was very peaceful. My cousin and I came into the room about 1-1/2 hours before she passed, and she obviously recognized us as her eyes widened in surprise and she looked like she wanted to say something. After the choking spell, she just seemed to sleep. I was taking her pulse, and it just gradually slowed as did her breathing until they just stopped. She was an inpatient in hospice for about 3 days. She was 94 years old.
I wish I had seen this earlier, before my dad died. It would have helped me see what the signs were and be able to accept them and accommodate hi during this difficult time.
Thank you for sharing your information.
You are truly an Angel...Your videos have helped us more than I can say...Thank you
Thank you Julie ❤knowledge melts away fears you have a beautiful gift and soul to help people making their end of life as good as you can
This is where we're at, right now. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. ❤
My family also
@@Ms.Tee65 So sorry to hear. Not to preach, but do you and your loved one have the Assurance of eternal life as referred to in the Bible?
My love and prayers to all of you. It is so hard. :(
My mother was one of those who lasted 3 weeks. Her hospice said she was the second longest they ever had. Their first lasted 6 weeks!
I so wish I had your videos 8 years ago when I went through the death experience at home with my mom. Bless your heart.
Thank you for this video I lost my mom feb 2023 and her birthday is October 10 she would have been 68 . I miss her .
10/10 💙
I'm 68 😢
Having been present for the last hour of my uncle's life, this is exactly what I witnessed. The one thing that did stick with me is when I said something to comfort him and that was very important to him, one eye did make eye contact with me and within less than a minute, he was gone. It was all very natural and no religion needed.
My dad is currently actively after he passes I will send you videos I don't know what I would've done if I didn't watch your videos Thank you so much ❤
Thank you for this. Someone I love is not there yet but her breathing is. When she's asleep she stops breathing completely for a period of time and then really fast, short breaths. We are awaiting one last procedure and so can't get hospice involved but I wish we could. She's also against hospice right now because she said when she was caring for a friend who was dying she had to call hospice constantly to try and get them to come take care of him. And he was very near death. So she's anti hospice. It's hard to watch her go through this. Congestive heart failure.
I feel the exact same way about hospice as your Mom does. I am glad that you're respecting her wishes. Hospice was horrible with both of my parents, and we used 2 different hospices. I'd call them and they wouldn't come. They would say 'call us when they're gone'. 💔
@@debbih0813 That's awful. My aunt has now moved into active dying. I had a client tell me they met with hospice for her Mom. Her Mom said to the hospice worker, "I want to live to see x." Hospice worker says, "Well that's not going to happen."
I need all this stuff when my mama was passing away because it scared the hell out of me all the different changes to her before she died. I won’t never forget watching her die right in front of my face I was forever changed
I'm so sorry. It really does change your life. I was in the room with my grandmother when when she passed, and I was a caregiver before retirement, so I understand.
My prayers are with you. 🙏🏾🌹
@@niecythebudgetnista3223 thank you very much. It’s been 10 years now, but I remember that day like it was yesterday.
This channel has been such a blessing . Our 93 yr old father was at Stanford hospital for 33 days before he passed. He had MRSA. Until the last week we did not know that he was passing and in pain
You are a Godsend. Thank you for your care and commitment.
I've beeen with 3 people that have passed away and i knew when they had about 15 minutes before they passed. It was more of a feeling or a knowing they were leaving.
Nurse Julie you give me so much knowledge comfort help security and above all peace of mind and soul in getting ready for my 96 year old demented mother 🙏💕💖
Thank you Julie. My mom is in this stage right now. I’ve watched a lot of your videos and they have helped me ❤️
Thank you again for these videos.
I was wondering if you could do a slightly different type of video(s) and talk about how you became a hospice nurse. And what type of qualifications someone should have if they were to choose to be a hospice nurse as a career?
Thank you for these death educational videos! 🩷
My B-in-L ended up in the hospital because of severe diarrhea and dehydration. He died 3 days later and tests showing he had acute leukemia came back just hours before he died. He never knew he had anything other than a stomach bug. Complete shock!! But he showed symptoms that all of us missed including his regular doctor
💔🙏🏽💔 I have heard that exact same thing happen!! Sending prayers.🙏🏽
Hey thank you for sharing with us ❤❤❤❤❤
My grandmother passed this Sunday. She started the process 1 week before bc she fell of her bed...she rolled in the wrong wat and fell to the floor. Either way I noted she was already walking the proces of death..she wasn't eating much and sleeping a lot more that before...
Tha fell out jer into active dying process..it took almost 10 days....It gave us time to process and say goodbye. She said good bye too. It was incredibly sad but peaceful.
In the last 6 days she was unconscious and Her eyes were close but her mouth open tho. Her breathing was like snoring, the gurgling sound was way before that (the week before )and then faded and the snoring sound started..She didn't have like a long apnea, her breading stopped but was during a shorter amount of time than that the video showed in this channel..
The nigh before passing (she passed around 8:30 am on sunday 6) her body was all sweat.
when I saw her in the Sunday morning around 9:17am she was still warm and she had her fingernails bluish..she didn't showed mottled skin in any oart of her body (bc I was checking hehe, reading a lot about active death and watching this videos helped ne a lot)
Thank you.
Ms. Julia great video...I loved your book ....anyone who has someone in hospice needs to read your book....that's my opinion
You never die alone. There is always somebody to guide you into heaven. Some people may not go right away because they are confused. But everybody goes to heaven.
I believe that. A day before my mom because completely unconscious she said there was a man in an orange suit in the corner there. I have no idea who she was seeing.
I recommended your channel and book to Facebook users in the uk when a famous comedienne announced she was in the hospice on end of life care ❤
Thank you for your videos. I am a nurse and I referred friends to your videos because I couldn’t be with them to explain the process of dying in the moment. They were very upset and thought their loved one was dying a painful death. Your videos are so helpful and educational. I am so thankful to have these as a resource. THANK YOU!!!!
These videos are so needed. Thank you.
Thank you. This is exactly the information I needed right now
Does temperature drop or rise at end of life? During last 24 hrs how fast does it change? I've heard nurses say death is near b/c of temp.
Please explain with examples...thanks lady you're a gem for teaching us.
Temperature usually drops at the end of life.
Why did my mother-in-law have secretions just flowing out of her mouth for the 1/2 hour before she died? It was so hard to watch. I was so relieved when she took her last breath.
My mom had the same thing. Her Hospice nurse said the lungs had over filled with fluid and it backs up. Mom had secretions from her mouth and her nose.
I need some Nurse Julie merch like a t shirt with the slogan “changes in breathing” printed on it… or a mug with the phrase “terminal secretions”
LOL! 😂
Out of all the videos on this particular subject this is the best one yet. Thank you
My husband has been gone 11 months. In his last hours his breathing was so much like his usual snoring I was unaware he was transitioning. 😞 I still cry every day.
My sister passed away in March 2023.. I saw her 2 days before she died to say goodbye and tell her I loved her.. Even though she was actively dying at that point, I wonder if she knew I was there, if she heard what I said or knew I kissed her goodbye..❤
Yes she knew.
@@christineleblond7777 ❤️❤️
They say that a person's hearing is the last sense to go. They probably heard you. ❤
Thank You for this information, Julie. Very much needed and appreciated. The background music is very loud and distracting, imo.🎉
Thank you for the content Julie ❤
Thank you Julie. You’re amazing and helpful.
Thank you, Julie!😊
My best friend passed 3 weeks ago. Your videos and book helped so much.
My friend was able to focus on visitors and talk in a whisper the day before she died. We noticed her feet turning purple on the bottoms about a week before she passed. The next day she was non responsive. She started the death rattle around 3 pm and was gone by 11:30 pm. The death rattle was hard to listen to. We used the medication but found soft music seemed to help. About 3 hours before she died, you could see the color leave her lips and her skin. She felt clammy the last two days. She had fluid weeping out of her arms and legs, too. She was on Hospice 13 days. I’m interested in knowing the average amount of days one is on Hospice in the US. I heard it was 11-17 days. My friend certainly fit that. She had treatment for her cancer up til two weeks before she passed. I think the Drs would still be treating her if she was able to show up. I wish our medical community would be honest with its terminal patients. 😢
Watching my mother die was different than watching my father die. She was in a hospice, I was left alone with her in the last hour. I monitored the slowing breathing, and then the breathing stopped. But I was alarmed when, many seconds later, she swallowed, gently, twice. The nurse said it was reflex.
Thank you for your information ❤
This is beautiful, thankyou
I remember visiting my mum in law the Sunday before she died and I knew she would not live for the week. My husband was going away for work and I tried to convince him he shouldn’t.
I actually more know when they have just died . Remember three different times it has happened.
Julie, why is turning someone on their right side make the dying process quicker?
My mom died of cancer 12 years ago. My dad and I never saw her during the dying phase. She died in the hospital and the hospital gave her hospice care. The hospital called us when she died so I never experienced the dying phase of anyone who I was close to. I did see a dying phase on RUclips of this one 14 year old girl who had cancer 8 times.
Thank you again. You are helping in our lives right now. BTW I listened to your book...well done, it's most inormative.
Thank you 💕💕💕💕💕
Thank you this video is very helpful.
My experience in healthcare specifically with being with my own parentsat death. Almost all my siblings (6) were in denial at the end. If people don't want to hear it, well, you know...
I took care of my Mom. She seen people she used to know, she asked for a tequila sunrise fr some guy Joe, she said there was a little boy standing behind me and then she asked me to go behind tv and tell the woman on tv that she wanted to talk to her😳, I took in all in stride, then one morning she had the look of death on her face and stopped talking, the smell
Of her urine changed and she died 3 days later. Hee breathing made me cry😢. We walked out of room and by herself she passed. I felt like she waited me and my sister to walk out. It changed my life watching her die. Im honored to have helped her but I miss her soooooo much sometimes it makes my heart my stomach tightening and feel light headed. I went through thinking I had cancer because she had it but I don’t thank God. It was such a hard job for almost a year she was bed ridden and I had to feed her clean her etc but I would it again and again for her.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ rest in peace Mom
You are always so helpful…thank you
You are a gift. Thank you.
Thanks for the information. My uncle is in his last stages of life.
I love your videos
Mahalo for Sharing Sending Aloha
Thank you 💖🙏
Thank you for your informative videos.
My sister (T1 diabetic with chronic kidney disease and and extremely low pulse rate) died within 10-15 minutes of calling my daughter for a bit of help opening a bottle of Milton for the dialysis machine. She passed before my daughter got there and couldn't be brought back. It kills me that no one was with her (she was only 53) and I'm just hoping she didn't suffer or feel uncomfortable. I so often wonder if she was okay.
if and when you are dieing you get down n out // lose all hope // we all love you we will see you soon
Thank you
Ok Sweet Julie, I’m gonna need you to do a tutorial on how you get those perfect waves in your hair!!! I have tried and tried and just cannot do it! LOL Help a sister out! ❤❤
Thank you❤