How to Practice Letting Go of Your Pain | Stephanie Lyn Coaching 2021
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- Опубликовано: 7 июн 2021
- #mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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Stephanie
www.StephanieLynLifeCoaching.com
Going through my first genuine heart break, without any type of closure. So I’m giving myself closure. It’s not easy. But I’m doing it.
How are you doing?
It hurts! I remember mine I didn't want to get out of bed. I became depressed. Seek treatment if that happens. But 35 years from now you'll look back with a 😃
@@suzanne296 any tips because i am 24. Didn't do anything wrong blindsided blocked and ghosted heartbroken i still don't know how to deal with it
I’m sorry you are going thru this. When I went thru my first heart beak it was years of hell. I didn’t have the tools like RUclips, internet articles, motivational speakers online, etc. But guess what? You’d be glad it happened. What happened to me years later was that he came back, but not doing so well in all areas. He was a different person, of course than long ago. Once you’re completely healed, you’ll know. You’ll also smile and feel better again. Don’t go through heart break alone. Reach out to trusting friends and family. I’m sure you have a hobby or something you may want to try. I did… and I had loads of fun. I met new people and made beautiful memories along the way. I know you will too. So,don’t feel hopeless. It’s a beautiful and new chapter for you. Remember to breathe and you have permission to feel the sadness. Use this time for YOU! ❤️
@@Sariimura The reality of things is that I delved into self-love because of my break up but I’m also thankful that it happened to me because I was able to love myself so much more after the fact. I’m doing great now, I learned that I love too hard, I can’t be my best self if I’m giving my entire self to someone. Thank you for asking
Being angry only kept me attached to the relationship that was not healthy for me. Letting go disengaged me from the source of my disappointment and allowed me to move forward towards a more stable relationship.
Having to co parent with someone who hurt you is the hardest thing ever for me.
You have to constantly see the person and speak to them and be reminded of their existence and be aware that they are moving on with someone else.
It’s so hard to heal like this.
The person you fell in love with never existed! You fell in love with a character, a mask. This is a hard pill to swallow, but it is very true and helps healing. Keep in mind that a trauma bond is harder to break than a heroin addiction.
I feel like it will kill me
This was so helpful. I have been Ruminating for three years. I haven’t been able to let the relationship go at all. I wanted the dream. Thank you Stephanie!
You are the dream, and you are going to make it.
You will recover from this. It was not your fault. You will heal.
Forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about you! Choosing to let go is choosing to make YOU happy, at peace, and ultimately fulfilled! 💕
Well said 👍
Forgiveness means to suffer.
Indeed!
Love the advice
Forgiveness is for God to decide, not use that's just psychological invalidating bable. We don't need to forgive to let go. But we do have to "accept".
Narcissists fully endorse the mindset of "forgive and forget and continue forgiving and forgetting".
Learning to let go of these toxic people that don't serve you and realize that you are responsible for your own happiness.👍 up Stephanie.
Exactly, i am learning and as the day goes by i feel better and i am more happy.
@@denisguay4315 Lucky You
I am crying so muuch right now, I started to hate feeling like I am being used by my boyfriend and he just simply didn't care what I had to say. I helped him finanancially and it became a lifestyle for me. Now I can't stop the bleed of what I have done. I felt that he was the only one that wanted me and I didn't want to be alone but I feel more alone than ever.
I went through hell before everything back to normal but I’ve change so much . If not that demon from hell in my life for 5 years I wouldn’t be as strong and compassionate the way i am now . Something great came out of that mess but it took a few years . Thank you Stephanie for all your awesome videos that helped me so much through my lowest times . May God bless you and everyone who is watching . ❤️
Don’t undermine your emotions, work through them. Deciding to let go it’s another way to choose yourself. Choose yourself and begin to heal. Live your life the way you deserve to not as a prison of your past/pain.
From a self love content creator to another creator, beautifully said Stephanie! ❤️
Trying
Thanks
@@porcelli5566 U Ok?
@@porcelli5566 That’s all we can do. It’s a process.
@@heavenlove4783 You’re welcome!
Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.....
Meditation, mindfulness, breathing and prayer along with trying to create for myself a healthy lifestyle that includes eating well and healthy and taking care of my body and my heart and my mind all helped me to heal and let go, especially during difficult times, of the narcissistically induced pain and anxiety I've been through with a very malignant/toxic narcissist.... thank you, Stephanie, so much for your video today! It gave me inspiration to go on and not give in....🙏🙏🙏
yess
What kind of prayer do you recommend ?
@@iamyou111 Prayer, for me, is very personal! I don't think there's a right way of praying or a wrong way of praying. It is the earnestness and seriousness of your prayer that resonates. I was told sometime ago that before you pray for your own self you pray for the well-being of someone else first and then and only then will your prayers be answered. During meditation I assume the posture of prayer and I think that helps! I pray to angels for help and those in spirit that I know can hear me. I'm not an expert on prayer but I do it all the time. You can't go wrong! 🙏🙏🙏
I filed for divorce from my Wife two weeks ago. She was emotionally and verbally abusive. A narcissist from everything I’ve watched and read. I’m hurt even after everything I did to try and make HER happy. I feel used. I left her and it was not a surprise for her other than she thought I never would actually do it. This video has helped me and I am working through trying BOT to think of her. I definitely feel that I deserve better and I did lower my standards. I knew it in my Gut the entire time but thought she would eventually relax or show she cared. It never happened and I realized that she never would. Just not in her dna 🧬
I so needed this video, Stephanie. Trying to let go of a narcissistic relationship is so hard. It is so hard to meet genuine people these days so I hung on even though I knew it was toxic because the fear of being alone later in life is scary. Just need to work through it in my time. Stay strong everyone!
The belief that is was supposed to last forever. I had let that old belief go. Thank you.
“You have to feel it in order to heal it” - Now I feel like I’m making a song. 🤣 love your videos, thank you, my soul needed them.
from what i've been through, what's the hard part of forgiving is even setting the goal for your own. because you already not trusting yourself. really need times to actually realize that the pain is actually grab our own authority as a human.
This really helped me tonight whilst crying over a situation i have pulled myself away from.
I dated a guy and after the second meeting i found out he had a gf. He fed me so many lies and made out he wasnt happy with her. I did wait for him but come to realise he wasnt ever going to leave and was having his cake and eating it. Today i put a stop to it which was difficult as i really felt we had a strong connection. I want more for myself, i do not ever want to be someones bit on the side and i refuse to be. Its painful but your video really clarified alot to me and although im hurting im deciding to focus on myself, get fit, spend precious time with my kids, finish decorating our home and as you said being responsible for my own happiness.
Its always been my downfall trying to see the good in bad situations. I certainly havent been at all lucky in love but i still hold onto hope and in the meantime live life and be as happy as i can be x
I’m goin though this rite now started last nite !
You are doing a very good job on explaining what to do in my situation. My wife of 22 years just left me last week. I never new want a narcissist was until I started watching your videos.
Thank you very much. You are very helpful to people who are going through a difficult time in our lives. God bless you!
Narcissist isn't something you get to diagnose her with just because the relationship didn't work that a trained psychologists job.
I just want to forget it all.
“You gotta feel it, to heal it” That’s AWESOME 🤩
Thank you 🙏🏼 I’m going through healing now. I’ll feel great for a few weeks or month and then I’m back to having anxiety attacks for a week then back up. It’s not easy but I’m trying!
That last line about putting my energy towards the situation, and not about my future. Yeah. I have totally done that. I have alot to work through, and I appreciate all the helpful insite your are providing. ♡
Okay, this shit is gold. I have been struggling to move on and have been stuck in a false narrative for years. Thankyou thankyou thankyou. I will be coming back to this video
My new fav quote though is, "You gotta feel it, to heal it." This is an ingenious quote!!
100% truth for me... What was supposed to be vs. Reality keeps me stuck Sometimes. Thank you!
Thank you for your videos .. I have been so stuck in the cycle, after 2 years I am starting to be sick and tired of being sick and tired.
You are so brilliant and knowledgeable! I learn so much from every single one of your videos! Thank you for taking your time to share your experiences and wisdom with all of us! You have been a critical part of me choosing my freedom from my narcissistic, abusive husband and changing my life! I am forever grateful for you! ❤
ON REPEAT 🙏 my biggest thing is filling in the void that he filled
My life story is just to heartbreaking to share..the pain is too real .thank you Stephanie your amazing couching really helps Mee...
It’s: “ I let you go so I can live my beautiful life.” 💫💞💥
I may have to watch this daily finding it hard to forgive even though its been almost 3 years but I know I'm giving my past experience way to much
I let go, at least today. It’s nice to have tools to use when the waves come. I liked hearing the kids in the background today on your video. They know how to have fun. I’m saving up for a lesson, thank you!
Forgiveness is a self-care practice - people act from their own emotional wounds.
Radical acceptance - seeing the facts & life as it is; not what you dreamed it to be.
Tired of being sick & tired? Live in the now, and have a vision of your future. Visit the past only to learn your mistakes.
"What was supposed to be."
Ohmygosh
Me rn 🤯
Reading through messages on so many videos is heartbreaking itself, such devastation in so many peoples lives ,due basically to having someone you love wanting to destroy you .don't figure.......no wonder the 🌎is how messed-up it is .I'm glad I'm an empath ,it gives meaning to my life ,I think we will always ruminant ,it's who we are ,but time does heal ...you either sit in the corner and give up ....or take your empathy your loyalty your strength your dignity & your Love - and bring a light shining in to the world like a lion . in God i trust ...
Yes. I am going through this right now. My mom passed away 2 years ago from cancer. I am still holding onto her memory and love she had for me as one of her children. I'm beginning to learn that holding onto the pain is affecting any future relationships with other women.
I’m sorry to hear of your loss brother. I pray you feel better
Thank you for the video, great advice. Believe it or not, you actually don't have to forgive anyone, you can just feel indifferent towards them. "Forgiveness" is moreso for you, not the other person.
Stephanie, I have been watching your videos for about four or five weeks now and they have made a very big impact and how I view the world and people. I came from a very loving and non-toxic household so I thought. not such a wife ranting and raving about my problems but I have given a lot of thought as to why the recent generation are having so many problems with anxiety Panic Etc.
I truly believe all this stems back to World War 1 & 2. where are all these emotions the Panic anxiety blah blah blah has been passed on from one generation to the next to the next to the next to where we are now. a very very large percentage of our grandparents aunts uncles great-grandparents great-uncle's great-uncle's went to war. so all these emotions Panic anxiety etc. have been passed on. this is what they were all feeling at the time. so when they came back from the war they're training emotions and feelings we're put into relationships and raising their children. so their children took on all their traits Panic anxiety etc. and then the next Generation went through the same thing and the next one and the next one to where we are today. we are now becoming very somewhere in educated as to how unhealthy this is. years ago there was no worry about the healthiness of the Mind because your main priority was staying alive today not tomorrow, you most likely were thinking you're not going to make it to tomorrow or make it home.
I just felt that I needed to send this out to you and maybe get some input as far as maybe this is why all this is happening. we never knew Panic anxiety gaslighting stonewalling projecting Etc. you were never given time to think about this stuff you were just going through the motions of Life day by day.
I would also like to say then I am benefitting greatly by each and every video. this is a whole nother way of living before I felt like I was fighting life. now after 58 years I can look at life as a journey not a battle. yes I do have many many flashbacks but I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and it is such a good feeling where I can look ahead and see where I'm heading to. rather than waking up each and every day jumping on a bed like a gunshot and powering through until I just cannot stay awake any longer. I am sleeping better and loving life like never before.
thank you again from the bottom of my heart you have greatly changed my life for the better. Barry G
I say thank you, again!
Stephanie…This video was for ME! I’m truly grateful I found your video😌 I’ve liked and subsided! I love ❤️ all your content. I know it’s going to beneficial for my healing journey after letting a toxic situation-ship/relationship. I’ve ended that “ship” and I’m on a journey to re establish boundaries that I allowed individuals to break! I’m embracing the woman I use to be that valued her peace, happiness and self-respect! I’m watching it a 3rd time because it’s just that good💪🏽🥰
Me too watched few times made notes to read read and practice
So good! it's all a grief process and we get stuck in the denial phase for too long sometimes, because it feels better than facing reality.
9 minutes with you, babe and all pain is away. My grandma's name was Stephanie btw
Great lyrics. Deal with how you feel. You have to feel it to heal it. This rocks. Thank you.
I would really value having a video on the very difficult struggle of a mother and child living the nightmare of the emotional abuse, acceptance, letting go and what is acceptable/unacceptable to say when trying so hard to salvage the relationship.
Justme MandaLee,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
The perceptions of reality. Do we really fall in love with someone? Or do we fall in love in the ideal of what we think someone is. And that being in relation to how it effects us. And so many have marriage and divorce, because it was not mr right or mrs right, but the imagined concept of that person being mr(s)right. This is why internet relationships fall in love quickly. With the other factor that you are not seeing them all the time and their "bad aspects" that would turn you off. So they are always on their best behaviour. So two people on their best behaviour think they are perfect for each other... until they start to look past the ga ga feelings that FEEL like falling in love, and realise that much of the other things are incompatible for the longer term. This is why many children are conceived by the people who cannot stay around each other. But perhaps that is fate for the child, or else they never would have existed. Perhaps there is a Cupid like factor involved to get those genes mixed to the new child of destiny. Ah perceptions of reality, just need a good story that evokes feelings and don't break the flow of the spell to keep the magic going. And they lived happily ever after, in separate lives... with other partners... and some preferred to be perfectly happy alone.
On the other hand. We can consider someone to be a bad guy because of triggers of the internal bad guy judgment we have. Like if someone was a bad guy/gal the emotional feeling as if they were that person is then projected on the real person. Either from an imaginary bad person, or a past experience of a bad person etc.
You only have to say some words and they put ideas and emotions in peoples heads as that of disgust or loathing etc. The sludge at the bottom of the drain for example. Seems to trigger stuff in people... Be kind, because nobody really knows what they are doing in the chain reactions of perceived realities. Rewind and give everyone a break. You don't have to judge another and you don't have to hold onto pain. You don't have to hold onto things that they become yours... your pain, your sickness, your suffering... let it go and be free. Actually JC said this as one of his last things to Peter about giving him the keys to the kingdom of heaven. The Catholics think he made Peter Pope with these words. But he said, behold I give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. What you hold on to you retain, what you forgive you let go.... that is let go of your pain or you are the one holding onto it and keeping it going... it is a key to the kingdom of heaven, and that kingdom of heaven is within you, in your perceptions and feelings and is your reality. You can be glass half full or glass half empty. You can make it happen, or blame others for it not happening. All is real to you as you see it. But there is always at least another perspective that can make things better and empowering. And sarcasm is a root of what will destroy your true personal power. Words have power, feelings have power. Don't undermine the positive power with a negative energy evoked by destroying the good flow. Be kind, be genuine, be the change you want to grow into becoming. Evolve to be your higher self, no longer a mere chain reaction of an illusion.
God is faithful.
U spoke alot of wisdom on this.
Very intellegent lady. Very clear and straightforward ideas. Appreciate your time.
Oh! I can let them go! Elvis has left the building!
It's hard though, sometimes i do think of the past and it can creep up on you though. I'm learning how to let go of the past, thank you Stephanie!! Much appreciation.
"You have to deal with how you feel."
"You have to feel it in order to heal it."
I know you didn't mean to do that, but those are my key takeaways now!
You're Awesome Stephanie!
spot on sistaaa we out hereeee doing this thing of feeling the feelings and then letting them go sista from anotha mistaaaa
Thank you Ma Stephanie. You are a true blessing ❤️🩹❤️
Accepting definitely does help tremendously
I can feel the pain in ya voice ..i can undersatnd...because i have gone through the pain myself ...the pain never leave
Kindly make video on getting out of any ADDICTION?
Loved this! 51 I so struggle with letting go and blaming myself for what went wrong in my relationships. Engaged 3 times goal is to find a loving healthy relationship!
We had a really great relationship. I wasn’t settling. We were so happy. Something changed about a year ago, after 16 years. I just don’t understand the concept of forgiving, when he did this and it turned my life upside down at 57. I’ll keep trying.
Even if I have to forgive that person everyday, I try to think of it as cutting a tie with them. That doesn’t mean I’m giving them a ‘pass’ for what happened. It’s so hard to do.
Renee Burich,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!!
The timing of seeing this video was meant for me. Thank you ❤
Stephanie you did such an excellent job of explaining how to let go of your pain! This is a keeper for me!
@7:42
It is a practice to forgive someone. It doesn’t happen all at once. Pain and disappointment ebbs and flows.
I enjoy listen to this coaching about of letting go of the past is for many years did not forgives my self or family members since this pandemic has happen , teaching me to realize how people really are these days had to cut back on people is because of the cycle , focus on my mental and well-being marriage
Amazing video... really ! And, i've not finished it. Maybe, need to see it several times... Thank you !
Love your channel Stephanie so helpful to me in my life!!!💜💜💜
I referred you to my daughter. I haven't looked for long time. You are more wise and more beautiful.
Let ppl go have fun
Beautiful insight and so wonderfully and authentically presented. Thank you!
Stephanie, you are a God send. I always look forward to your uploads. This was right on time. Thank You. ♥️
Finally a video with real steps
Thank you Stephanie. This is really what I needed to hear. I’m sure I speak for a lot of people here but your videos are really helpful
Thank you Stephanie Lynn for being who you are! You are helping me through this process of healing ❤️🩹 and I know you were blessed for this purpose!
The four times I (thought) fell in love were all all mistakes I made about the depth of the relationship. Every time I declared my affection I was summarily rejected. After the fourth time I gave up, recognizing that I had no idea how to relate to a woman in a romantic way. I have been single all my life because of this. The pain has subsided some but I have lived with it for decades now. My only comfort has been crying out to God in surrender!
Feel as though this video was meant for me today, came at just the right time, thank you so much Stephanie. I've come such a long way from doing your 9-week course but on the odd occasion, I still have a day where my mind will play tricks on me again, usually after coming into contact with the narcissist in my family who caused me so much suffering. Listening to everything you say puts it all back into perspective again, if I could "double like" this video I would. Being mindful now of my thoughts and not getting stuck in a loop like I used to has made a life changing difference to me.
I love you Stephanie Lyn! Thanks for the wise and genuine perspective as per usual.
Great video. Really made a lot of sense, and gave insight into the feelings that come along with a break up, especially a break up from a relationship that has been attempted multiple times, and has been nothing but a repeat of the last time and time again.
SO needed this video today! Thank you!
Thank you. Totally needed to hear this as I heal from trauma therapy and am figuring how and where to move forward to. 💖
Always very good topics. You bring them to the table with such flow and ease. That's a talent. Thank You
Gosh I needed this so bad!!
Thanks again Stéphanie 😊
Such an Awesome video. Just hits all the right notes on all the wrong ones. Thank you so much
That was very helpful ! Thank you Stephanie.
I loved this video! Thank you Stephanie.
I think I'm getting better at letting go of pain it's still hard for me At times but I'm trying
Stephanie has did it again! I felt this video in my spirit. Hopefully my subconscious did too.
Thank you so much Stephanie. Love lots.
Thank You 🌹🌹🌹
I am working on myself and I seeing that it's possible to be incharge of self 💯🙏🙏🙏💞💕💞
Amazing video!! Love them. Thank you😊
this video is what I needed ...thank you so much 🥰
Feeling that way. The what next question is not clear. Thanks Stephanie.
Thanks Stephanie. I needed the reinforcement.
Great video. Really helps! Thx
This helped me so much. Thank you. Your videos are dynamite
I so needed this. Thank you
This is the best break up advise I have ever got. Thank you!
Best video EVER !!!!!!
Thank you...
I really needed this today. Thankyou. Just subscribed :) made perfect sense to me xx
Great video, thank you.