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The Illusion of Narc Relationships | Stephanie Lyn Coaching
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- Опубликовано: 9 авг 2021
- #mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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"You can't have a deep relationship with a person who can't go deep within themself"! I felt that !!!!
Being with him was a war but being without him is a constant battle with myself even though I know I did the right thing.
Move forward. Find your life. Fill it without them.
I'm here today. I can't work
Battle of the mind is the hardest one of all- But YOU will get there one day at a time sis x
@@alleng9755 I’m trying but so depressed. I’m looking for one crumb of validation from him
@@Celeste.Cooper understand where you are at right now. I am also having stages where I feel myself doing the same thing. It’s okay if you feel that way. I hope we can both move forward into healing and self acceptance.
I was the “second” wife. To the outside world and to his first wife, I am sure it appeared that we were charmed- the Brady bunch- a big blended family. A $2 m new home, cars etc.
Five years into marriage, I woke up one and am waited for him to leave for court, I pack four suitcases and a box of toys for my twins and left. Left it all. This was 8 years ago- at the time I didn’t have a clue about narcissistic abuse, I just knew my twins were not thriving and we were living in a pressure cooker and something was very very off with this man.
He asked me one day if I thought he was a monster- I was taken a back- why would someone describe themselves as a monster? Because he knew what he was.
The illusion that they love the new person more or that their life with this new person is “different” is just smoke and mirrors. They hone their “craft” with each relationship. They become better manipulators with each relationship experience.
I actually felt sorry for the one after me. She was a judge and I knew he was using her - she was a family court judge and he was using her as a sounding board. He dumped her as soon as our divorce was over.
Take care of yourself and your children. Put these monsters in the rear view mirror. They NEVER change.
Oh gosh!! Your story is so similar to mine!
2 million dollar home!
He has businesses that thrived in the golf community.
I knew nothing of his hidden money.
Cheater I found out.
When I decided I had to leave I was so broken down that I figured if I made him hate me then it would be easier to leave. I knew if I didn't leave my son would be brought up to think that it's OK to treat woman as objects. I thought if I could show him another side he would learn that life isn't just easy and woman weren't beneath a man. Hes brainwashed right now by his father!
I didn't have the power nor the money to fight this man. My husband! Yah right! He threatened me more than once with taking my son away. Made himself the Disneyland dad! Has made me out to be the BAD mom. It's heartbreaking! My therapist (which I have because of this marriage) has told me to let my son know I love him and wait til he's ready to talk.
SO I WAIT. Only a narcissist on a monumental level could do what this man has done!
Hi no n
1mil home here. 7 years of all kinds of fake promises.
During discard he said that I had called him a monster. I never did. Way to project you self-image.
OH MY GOD. "He asked me one day if I thought he was a monster- I was taken a back- why would someone describe themselves as a monster? Because he knew what he was."
Mine also asked me a few times if I thought he was a monster like other girls. I'd be paralyzed not understanding, if he was so sweet with me. Then I understood.
Had goosebumps because he also used to say similar lines to the "I'm a monster" / "Okay I'm the bad person" etc etc
"You stopped giving this person what they wanted, and that is the best compliment you are going to get in your entire life." - Good medicine there, Stephanie.
This really resonates with me. 5 years out I sometimes still look back and wonder if I was imagining things. Maybe it was me? Maybe it wasn't so bad? She's been with a new guy for 5 years so maybe it was just me? But no... I hear bits an pieces... she still lies to our kids to create a narrative that suits her. She still manipulates to feed her own needs. She still uses people. And I'm still free :)
Stay free brother
Yes! The continued narrative from them is just incredible! I'm still trying to get things straight with my son. I did hear that my ex has gone to therapy to fix his current marriage. She's horrid! Very mean! But I think she listens to what he tells her alot. Good luck to her! She not nice anyway. She used to be his secretary. Lol he cheated on me with one of his retail buyers years ago...I dont think he will change! He will always need to feed his fragile ego.
My narc is still with her supply after 5years .i often feel like I was wrong ..but when I look at the list of horrible things she did and said to me I know the truth !! The new person is just low on self esteem and as probably been told they can’t get any better than them , so they just stay and put up with the abuse .we know how that goes ..they are on their own journey 🙏
No it wasn't you!!!!
They do not change. They only change the mask they wear for their next victim. Go, live your life in peace. You have earned it. Never look back. Peace and love!
The moment I told him that he must end his relationship with a newly discovered woman to save our marriage and he responded , "what is there to save?", the mask was off. He was a completely different person. I struggle to understand had he actually changed or was it that I been in denial of an unhealthy relationship, how I had been treated and who he was? We were actively planning our retirement and I was in total shock. He stonewalled me for six months. After forty five years together and 35 years married, I'm realizing that I didn't really know him at all. I'm two years out from the divorce and still healing while he moved on quickly to another woman.
I read a lot but don't often remember specific quotes from book except for this one "I saw the red flags but did not understand the consequences of ignoring them". when you look back you can often see those flags but they were always "tolerable", or "fixable"....until the inevitable happens. Either you are so tolerant that you stay and they eventually leave you or you find enough strength to move on.
Wow. Revalation. "Consequences of ignoring them". That's what anyone who got abused had to learn the hard way.
Which book please ?
I've been thinking of what you say a couple of days. That quote is so so relevant. I wish also to read that book. It hit the nail straight on the head.
Some RUclips comments really give a whole new outlook. I want to thank you for sharing that. Reality hit.
@@RippleDrop. what is the name of the Book ?
@@suir1828 I don't know. I didn't leave the comment. I was asking it myself.
The truly toxic people part is so true. People that screw with your sense of reality and damage your judgment. I hate them.
All masons Illuminati church narc filth fake plants who target the gifted healers and empaths for abuse projecting and scapegoat covert after they abuse our lives
I walked away 6 weeks ago. Covert narcissist constantly lying, on dating websites, pretending to be single. After a few months I saw the real person and the abuse started. Still hurts like hell but so glad I had the balls to walk away.
Stephanie...my 22 yr old precious daughter has been in a 3 yr relationship with a complete wack-job narcissist. She’s now 12 weeks pregnant and he left her in such a cruel way emotionally and physically. I’m here to pick up the pieces because I love her and I know through this time, she will heal and grow stronger. She has a loving faith-filled family who will support her. She’s with me at this very moment and we’re going to listen to this timely video from you. Thank you!♥️
Good for you girls!
@@kirkhullinger1934 Yes...thank you!
She’s free to heal and pursue real loving relationships. God bless!
Healing does take time. Wish you and your daughter the best 🙏🏼.
Strongly consider refraining from listing this guy as the father on the baby's birth certificate. He will use the baby as a shoehorn to hoover your daughter back in, and be a toxic curse. But, it will also mean legally forfeiting child support - ensurng 100% of the financial load onto your family.
“ It chips away our soul” that’s the point why healing and mowing on is so hard. I lost myself. I didn’t know who am I? My intuition said from the beginning, that something is wrong… ( the person I met was my first love, and he told me I was always someone special in his life and so on…, a lot of little things he remembered from this teenage time I didn’t, and I trusted and believed him. ) I was a fool hungry for attention and love. The first I have to give attention and love is me.
Story of my life, he’s married for 6 years now and forget our story and everything I did for him like a sociopath. It’s a big trauma to deal with even after years.
I’m sorry to hear that. It must’ve been difficult for you.
I grieved i what I thought she was, what I was offering that was rejected- love, what could have been. Now I'm over it.
This is my situation to the T. I grieved who I thought he was and what we could have been-well said! Praying I get through and over the grief. It’s been 8 months and I still have my moments!
@@teresadockery8043 I am sorry, but that person never exists. I am going also over it. You have to understand that all that pain is coming from hope. Hope to be with someone who was playing a role for getting what they need and it was not you. No hope = No fear.
@Patrick Gibson, THANK YOU!!!! Yes, I think you’re exactly right. It’s that HOPE that has me in all this pain. I’m slowly getting better as I learn more and more about these soulless monsters. I can feel myself starting to accept it for what it truly was, forgive myself, continue to stay no contact and move towards healing. Thanks again fellow empath, may the force be with you💕
@@teresadockery8043 wish you all the best. Stay strong.
Narcissists love is lots of imagination and illusion! Most of it is about themselves! And/or getting supply..... it's calculating and fake! Thanks Stephanie! You help so many of us to understand these creatures....💞
Always important to ask oursleves questions about the red flags we have, or even those observation others point out to us. Visit ourselves, ask and try to speak honestly with ourselves.
But not everyone knows what a true narcissist is. In my marriage I didn't. We dated for 6 years before we married. My therapist had to explain this to me. I learned! I took on the blame of the divorce etc for almost 11yrs. Now my 22yr old son has been told how rotten I am! Now I'm trying to get my relationship w him fixed. He's been brainwashed. He's 22. I have to pretty much wait til he's ready to talk about it. Very hard!!
@@staceyboreta875 I think many of us have not been taught, trained to know what to look for! Because we are a nice, conscientious person we can often assume others are too
BE LOVING AND GENTLE with yourself!! ❤️
If you believe in God, HE knows all the pain you went through. HE will surely vindicate you! Also, pray that your son sees truth. God sees, He hears and He knows!
Keep protecting yourself
"Visit ourselves" is a great reminder
Yeah good luck getting there because the whole outside world is a gaslighting Darvo illusion rape farm lol
Thanks so much for all of the wisdom and truth you share around narcissists! My experience is that from the very beginning of the relationship, the narcissist is abusing, even before it becomes obvious, because they know it's all a lie, whether or not they delude themselves into believing their feelings and/or mask is real. The con is on from day 1 in my experience.
So true! It is IMPOSSIBLE for a narcissist to go deep. All of the conversations with my narcissist ex were superficial and more often than not about HIM. In the [almost] one year that we were together, he may have asked me once or twice how my day was. He rarely asked questions to get to know me on a deeper level. Whenever I said, "Don't you have any questions about me?" his response was that he was just "observing". What in the world is that garbage response?! I don't think he had a clue what a typical work day was even like for me. Any issues we had were NEVER resolved because we couldn't have a deep, honest discussion. Everything was perceived by him as an attack, when that was not the case. Even though we have now been broken up for over one year, I still experience sadness. I am still grieving the "illusion" I created in my head about this man. The reality is that this person does not exist and never will. Eventually, I know I will heal and get over him by keeping no contact and continuing to put one foot in front of the other. Healing takes time and all I can do is live my best life during this process, however long it may take.
You sound just like me…. I just ended my 14 mo relationship with him as I uncovered who and what a POS he really is. I thought I was so in love… I ignored red flag and let my guard down because of our long history of friendship together. It’s been 16 days of no contact but still grieving for the person I thought he was, for the beautiful love story I thought we would be… knowing that it was all an illusion from the very beginning when we met and became ‘friends’ 10 yrs ago. Knowing he never cared or the sweet moments/memories shared were all an act.. beyond crushing!💔
So accurate and describes the NPD ex I divorced.
All relationships including with his children are transactional and conditional.
In his malevolent delusional world humans are replaceable objects to be used to benefit him and only get what he wants as his servants and do his bidding to fight his fights as he also backstabs and blames them when his enemies come for him.
He grooms , corrupts , manipulates , abuses, and coercively controls his victims creating his trauma bonds and cognitive dissonance.
He robs them of their autonomy to become soulless shells of the authentic beautiful humans they once were .
He takes on the imposter role of victim
And rescuer
As he proudly slithers away preying on his next victims.
Love your breakthroughs in how the narcissistic “animal” behaves. What their world is.
❤
This video is my husband to the t. Currently going through the discard phase; but unlike other times, i have reach my breaking point. I have reached my limit. In the spiritual sense, these past two weeks have been hell. Your videos are helping me soo much though. Also TD jakes preaching titled, "the courage to change" has been a help. Thank you.
Check out RC Blakes content on narcissistic relationships... and the tea on NPD... and dr.
Ramani all really good content as well as this channel to understanding and healing from this!!! Hope this helps!!
How are you doing now? Im going through the discard phase with my wife right now, and she left me and our two kids, and its killing me. Its only been two weeks but i kept asking her to come back home.. and its just rough
I just started watching your narcissist videos two days ago and it’s painful to realize the literal abuse that I put up with for three years. I can’t believe I tolerated it as long as I did. The red flags were always there but it wasn’t until we moved in together six months ago that I couldn’t look past the red flags anymore
Such an insightful video- Even though I have been out of a narc relationship for almost 3 years I still watch your videos because knowledge is power. It was not until I left that I realised just how emotionally abusive and toxic my ex wasp The gaslighing and the silent treatment. The walking out of resturants the walking away from me the cursing the belittling me walking on egg shells- I thought he broke me but in fact he made me realise I am so much more than his abuse and I am glad i left. Thank you Stephanie x
My narcissist (ex) boyfriend began devaluing me after the 1st year of living together. That's when the abuse began. Fights, fake jealousy, fabricating stories to call me all names, etc and when he was nice to me...he bullied me for fun...One month he was happy the next month, out of nowhere, he was angry all the time. It's sad. He was actually a nice and cool person under that damaged persona, but he had horrible parents. I cried when I met his mother and when I confirmed his childhood stories. I loved him more after that. But I had enough. After 4 more years of being a placeholder, not being sure if he did or didn't love me, I did the math and broke up. I still miss him from time to time, but only the good side. He never spoke to me again. It's kind of unsettling, but...that's a narcissist. They can't deal with emotions, they don't feel love like we do.
Sounds exactly like mine !!! Maybe we can chat a bit.
@leila we do Not know. Do you want to email me ?
@leila "They're here" 😁
You don't understand how much I needed this
Love your videos, they mean a lot to me because it's like somebody understands and reminds me that abuse is not easy to just "get over"
Thank you for this - my wedding anniversary with my narc ex-husband was on August 7th. This video has impeccable timing and helps a lot in my healing process.
A narcissist said that he believes the beginning IS real love for them and then a switch goes off within them.
It's true.
I just want to let you know a little bit about what you have done for me as far as helping me! I was in a very toxic, narcissistic relationship with a family member, and for years I didn’t realize what was going on. I just thought I was a bad person and could never do enough, and everyone always told me how sweet I was but this person‘s opinion I cared a lot about because I felt like this person knew me better than anyone. Your videos made me feel like I wasn’t alone I felt like you were the person that I didn’t have in my life that would help me. I grew up in foster care, so I’m out here alone I’m 26 but anyway, thank you so much for making these videos. Sending prayers of love and joy to you and your family. Bless her Lord in everything that she does. Satisfy her and her family with long life and joy.
The one thing I learned too is, we knew in our hearts we love them that's why we are here validating ourselves to know if our decision is right when we choose to leave and to stop them from what they doing bad on us! It feels miserable guilt conscience and blames our selves! But only we can answer the question and pushing our self to move on because they aren't going to do that for us! The pain that we feel and the grief I pray that God helps us to heal our broken heart and lead us to the right path that he wanted for us! I just cry I think 3 times a day and think what happens I want to feel all the pain! And accept that he is gone! That he is only the part of my life.
Stephanie, I must say out of everyone I have ever watched on RUclips and have read so many books etc etc YOU are the only one that explains all of this on a simple and altruistic level. It’s plain and clear and so spot on. Easy to understand without all the fluff and technical stuff per say. Even though I understand all the others I guess I’m trying to say you have made it so plain and given the specific clarity of EXACTLY what I just went through. I mis-read some of those red flags but ended the relationship early on even though we are married. Before me he was in a 20 yr marriage so in this video you explaining the shortness and longevity explains a lot! Thank you so very much for all your videos and advice.
Growing up in a toxic family its no wonder it seemed right to gravitate to a toxic broken person. it became even worse as time went on. Never good enough, my needs were irrelevant. Same as my core family. Videos like these are helpful. Ive had to do a lot of soul searching and realize my choices were my choices and i have to change in order to be happy with myself. Not an easy task. but we can get through this , i believe or tell my self that. Fake it till i make it
Thanks for all the helpful videos. I was going through a separation years ago and whenever things felt overwhelming I would put on one of your videos. Really helped me get through a rough patch in my life.
🙌👍
Me too
"I`m good/I have you"!!!
It's nice to see other men on here, she's got good material and she's not too bad to look at lol. .but I'm not trying to be my best women 😅
@@kirkhullinger1934 She's pretty.
Wow. I watch you speak from experience no? Youre literally unstoppable. Its gonna be hard for someone to catch you off guard
Awesome video! Lived with this for 30 years.
I am a 47 years old man who basically trashed his life away for about twenty years with the most ignorant, unjust and empty person I could ever picture in my mind. Except it was my real life, I thought she needed help to grow but I overextended and lost the opportunity to create a real thing with someone worthwhile.
She is in the other room and I just feel the loneliest person ever. But I am definitely over this.
You just descibed my relationsship with my ex.!!
Its been 2,5 months since I went “no contact” with him. He tried to hoover me back a month ago but I ignored him completely.
Its SO tough realizing the truth about the relationship and his abuse of me.
He was very toxic looking back and I’m glad hes gone, but I’m devastated having gone through an abortion - he wanted me to have - and when I said goodbye because he wasn’t good to me he asked another girl out 5 min later (I know because I had made a fake profile).
Thank you so much Stephanie for your videos - they help a lot! ❤
passive aggressive coverts are the worst
My ex…exactly! A complete monster!
I think what's scary Stephanie is that I have full access to your videos that are here to guide me, but the real courage comes when I actually have to step up to the narc and speak my mind and communicate my boundaries. Although it is not excessive behaviour, but the devaluing truly stings!
Earlier I was asked what I was up to, and I said I am working on myself. Then I asked why? The response I got was please make me tea. Although it was tea, my body and mind said "NO" but I couldn't get to say that. So I asked, what they are busy with that they cannot make it themselves, and the answer I got was "I'm working." Honestly, I felt that i stood in the way of myself by putting them first before my own needs and I felt internally blocked and my energy shifting to a lower vibration. It knew what I needed but I lacked the courage.
@@maggiemaggie2624 I have to agree with you. The road continues.
It takes practice 🙌
You really know your stuff. I was in a relationship with a narcissist and I can't emphasize enough how right you are, especially about how the narcissist will idealize a person, devalue them, and then potentially discard them. I saw it happen after me with her first hand. She even especially posted about it on Facebook. I was embarrassed for her. After me she met a guy, moved in with him, got engaged to him in one week, left him a month later, then two week after that she posted she found Mr. Perfect. I was with this narcissist for 2 years.
Sounds like you were with my ex.. 🤣🤣
I'm a male who has recently come out of a relationship with a narc. I thought I was tough, thought I was strong willed but I've discovered that even after her abuse, her lies and her cheating, I still can't erase her from my mind. I don't understand why, that I know her faults, I know that she will never be satisfied with just me or just anyone else and yet, I can't get her out of my head. Cognitive dissonance in my case is better defined, madness.
Same💔
These narcissists have the spirit of fornication. Rebuke that spirit, in Jesus's holy Name, and tell it to leave. Your desire will vanish.🙏+
Trauma bond.
@@timmywitty1432
Watch Danish here on RUclips as well one of his latest videos talks in detail about our brain and the effects
Thank you so much for the information in this video. My wife said she wanted a divorce in 2017 and I feel like I am just getting to an even keel now. What you said about about the narcissist that chips away at your self image covertly. Where you think "Was that comment inappropriate or am I being oversensitive" perfectly describes what happened to me.
She then went and married a good friend of mine. I do wonder what will happen with them. I honestly don't want him to be hurt but that's what I really think will happen.
Loved the comment that when they divorce you it's the biggest compliment they can pay you. A good way to look at it.
Yes, the subtle chipping away, brings confusion!!
The true NPD also gets a hit when the give to take away any or everything, to get a rush and a reaction. The emotional blackmail is so damaging. NOTHING is worth whatever you get/got. He started a new relationship behind my back, she has no idea he was cheating on her with me!
Spot on video 👊💪
Thank you!!
Thanks
The most difficult part for me, the victim, was coming to grips with the fact that it was all illusion. She was manipulating me for what I owned, my money etc. Again it was so hard to accept and that's because those of us who are normal don't process like they do. They are whacked, have used you and you must accept this fact. In quiet times just sit back and really focus on their behavior; past and present. It will become obvious that no normal person could do what these monsters do.
Said it best Steph!!!! Im learning lots from you, Happy Tuesday!!!
I used to feel crazy and ask myself like was that hurtful? Was that should I take offense to that? Or am I being overly sensitive. The little digs that are subtle it explains so much! I am not with that person anymore and did not get closure from that person either so listening to your videos really just confirms everything I felt was real and that I was with a text book narcissist. 🤦🏻♀️ I appreciate you Stephanie
Can relate to this so much😅
A 110 days of no contact and I've never felt so much better. I could not see the manipulation and lies before my eyes.
Your always on point! Glad to have you teaching us about narcissist. Exactly what you said today has happened to me and continue to go through. It's almost over for me soon. Thank you.
Thank you SO much for your channel. You are making a huge difference
It completely changed when I gave up my apt..I waited 3 years to do so . Then got new car...he purchased for me ..it was a whole new ball game ...You mentioned the little undermining statements being the abuse . I remember being so ready to cry in a public scenario so many times from this are being completely ignored at an event with him standing with another guy in a group..I would walk up he would turn away quickly speak to me and turn back around. I didn't know any of them I was hurt humiliated and 6,000 miles from home..he had my passport and ticket.
The other thing he did was walk 15-20 feet behind me to get attention and cruise...male couple here...We are apart for 16 months...he has moved a good friend of mine in with him ...when does the backstabbing and pain end
I'm kind of looking at his new guy as the one that will actually validate what I've told my friends
15 years I gave
I love that you make it make sense 💙..
I try!
I love your videos you explain them so well. That’s where my boyfriend always gets me confused because any little idea that we can talk about he immediately disagrees with me or he tells me I can’t do that and I used to be such a confident and glowing person and now I don’t even wanna go to the grocery store because I think everyone is thinking bad things about me
Ohhh this makes so much sense, the discard doesn't always have to be them ending rhe relationship , it could mean that they are still WITH YOU, but they just don't care anymore and are just doing the bad things and don't care about hurting you.. this makes so much sence... my ex, he lied and lied and cheated and I wondered if he was so unhappy why didn't HE leave me, because I NEEDED him, I was so co dependant, I couldn't leave him, but I needed HIM to ealk away, but he never did, he just kept abusing me, and stayed, until finally I left.
Listening to you gives me so much clarity! 🙌🏼
That describes it perfectly,soul wounded,and they do it on PURPOSE,pretty disturbed
I couldn’t tolerate more his disrespect, now I’m the abuser and he is the victim- lashing me out w his family and friends. It’s embarrassing and so sad 😞 to know my husband wants to destroy me 😔💔💔
I don't have any of these issues with my dog
True. My cats always come home at night, they appreciate me, and are 100 percent loyal. Eventually though, you will crave human touch. I'm assuming you are not intimate with your dog.
This is a great video. It explained the Narcissist down to the smallest detail. Thanks for sharing! 👍
Hello Mr ( Wilson ) he is the best when it comes to recovery relationship. He was the one that helped me
M e s s a g e h I m n o w .
I feel like this was meant for me to see you today! Wow. Thank you for being amazing and putting things into perspective.
Stephanie Lyn, I walked Away from my Narcissist girlfriend tired of being Used and Taken for Granted. 15 years of dating someone is a pretty long time. I saw RED FLAGS but looked away. Ouch. She knows without a doubt that I was A-1 Supply She can go back to Ex Husband or with a Coworker or whoever. But she will never change her Narcissistic Ways. When all I ever did was treat her very good.
I never got that kind of Love from her. I don't think she ever told me she Loved me unless I had said that to her first. So because she knew what she doing all along to me, just stringing me along until she knew that I can see that her Mask was slipping off. I walked Away and Dumped her before she did it to me. I'm glad that I had control over the outcome of the my Relationship with her. And not the other way around. Its not easy because I'm the one who got kicked in the you know what.
But I do believe in Karma and what goes around comes around when you hurt people on purpose for your own gain and benefit. When you treated them with nothing but Love and Kindness. And they just turn around and stab you in the the back with smile and smirk face while doing it. No gets to do that for free and gets away with it. 4 months NC I have not heard a Peep out of her. Tells me everything I need to know about her. I just want to say to you. I love watching and learning from your Videos Just listening to you speak and watching bring these videos to Light for everyone to see is something very special. You should be very proud of yourself. Thank You.
25 years, healed for a year and damned if I don't fall for another. 2 months out. Never again.
You are amazing. Thank you ❤
A hollow shell is a hollow sell no matter what form they try to morph themselves into!
So glad to see you 😊 I’m going through separation now I’m struggling trying to hang on for dear life 😓
you are not alone
Excellent video!!You are fantastic Stephanie:)
Another fantastic video Stephanie, I'm so grateful for your amazing work, you changed my life, thank you so much.
Thanks for watching 👍
Thank you for a great description of the narcisistic abuse cycle. These are not relationships but transactions.
You have helped bring so much that ( I overlooked ) too the light! Thank you!
Thank you.
👍
Thank you, Stephanie. You have provided me with an inner piece and relief that I’m not the crazy one. Prior to accepting that my partner is a textbook narcissist, I agonized over every little action and word and tried to figure out how to change her. I am past that. Now, I understand that she is who she is and that is unchangeable.. The challenge now is, how to get out of it?
This is so spot on!amazing Thank you 🙏
If they are not aware of themselves they won’t change. Thanks Stephanie.
Thank you for this. I’ve been watching your channel and you’ve really helped me understand what I experienced with my ex narc BF. I broke up with him only a few weeks ago after realizing what kind of relationship I was in for 6 years. This video especially has really validated what I’ve been feeling and wondering about it all. Trying to work through my recovery now with help from a therapist and your words of wisdom. Thank you!!
such a good video ! thank you Steph
This knowledge is priceless. You are doing a great job. Thank You :-)
Thanks!
Thanks for your kindness,
Amazing! Always. Thank you Stephanie
Thank you 🙏
Brilliant video. Thank you!
Thank you so much, one of the best videos i ever listen to!!!!
I’m 21 and my ex narc is 22. We have one baby and another on the way and I left him first . He moved on to the new supply super fast and it broke my heart . It’s like I had to watch it happen while I’m still pregnant with his child . He boasted about how happy he is with her.💔 but it was all designed for me to hurt .
I’m sorry. Just hold on to the knowledge that you did the right thing if someone would intentionally hurt you like that. Just love those babies and yourself. God bless you. 💛
He’ll do the same to her
Now I understand why I always felt something wrong on how they treated but never could explain to myself what is it called as and constantly being manipulated and not sure how to face them
Stephanie, how you explained it was so amazing. Thank you for doing what you do ❤️
I m so happy you are back again!
Spot on video. Thank you🙏
I seem to start getting alot better and then think I can handle after I have left and don't understand why I let him back into my life knowing all this.. I know it lies within myself ...
Because of "hope"
My issue was recognizing the holes from childhood that the narc filled. Look there.
@@alleng9755 They seek those but artificially fill them
You are definitely right, it takes a lot of effort and time to change the personality flaws. I am changing my personality a lot since I have started the huge progress have been made and I am a much more loveable person than before but it took me a lot of time and effort.
if only i knew these things before. wow this is sooo relatable. It helped me a lot when I decided to leave for good. I have peace of mind now
Damn… the comment about the little sneaky putdowns just confirmed a LOT of stuff for me. I was saying exactly that to myself: “wait… did she just say what I thought she said.” Evil.
I just started watching your channel and you have taught me so much. Thank you.
Amazing information! Thank you!
However; sometimes they stay with the good old supply that stay by their side. I know this because I was in a short term relationship with a narc...boy did he keep me confused thru manipulation, gaslighting, give & take...you get the idea. Anyhow, I finally broke up with him after four months. After I broke up with him I found out that he has been in a relationship with a woman for about 10 years! I reached out to her to let her know he 'cheated' on her and guess what?!! She's still with him!! She told me about some of the ways he treats her. He yells at her for silly things, won't spend holidays with her and the worst is last summer her son died and he was texting me from the funeral home asking when he could see me again! He KNEW this young man that died well!!
Sadly, she still puts up with it and is still with him.
Unbelievable!
Thank you so much Stephanie. You are helping so many people understand what’s going on in their lives. You are so generous.
Hi Stephanie!! I absolutely love your videos! They’ve been super helpful! I was wondering if you are able to make a video of when you know your not ready to make a change and are choosing to be stuck on habitual thoughts/ behaviors.
Thank you
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!
You are in point with this video her last words before discarding me was that she loves me and her and her daughter will always be my family and that they both love me but I realize it was just an illusion because she had a new supply already that's not love .