Is It Okay to Reveal How Deep in Debt You’re in Before Getting Married?
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
- Do you think it’s important to reveal how deeply you are in debt before getting married? We weigh in on the importance of being honest upfront.
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#Marriage #Debt #Money 
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I believe that a full financial disclosure should be part of pre-marital counseling! Everyone has a right to know what they are getting into!
Yup
People should discuss finances when marriage discussions come up in a relationship.
and if i have debt, it should be discussed what role my spouse is expected to play when it comes to that. becuase it isnt always that the spouse has to take on the other persons debt or history. its all choices
The moment you realize that the relationship is serious and it could potentially lead to marriage, you should disclose EVERYTHING that you think is important and necessary for the other person to know. This includes expectations and issues related to - MONEY, spirituality, children, career, counsel, family, past traumas, etc.
Exactly
Loni made a valid point about asking what type of debt he/she has. Student loan debt is one thing but then there's credit card debt *i only mention these two as they are the only forms of debt i can talk about*. If you're in credit card debt that calls into question how much, why are you in so much credit card debt but also now your debt hinders our ability as a couple to do things or make major purchases. If you're in so much debt and can barely make payments do you then expect me as your partner to pick up your slack? It also calls into question that your partner might not be good with budgeting or even handling money. I'd say discussing your issues with debt should be talked about right before an engagement happens
I agree that the type of debt matters. 300,000 student loan vs 100,000 credit card loans tells 2 different stories. One says you were getting an education and are responsible and the other says you’re irresponsible.
The amount of student loan debt doesn't matter. People use student loans for things other than school. Plus, many people have degrees and jobs that will never pay off their debt. If someone is deep in debt it's best not to marry them until they clear it up. If it never gets cleared up then at least you won't be stuck with it.
Thank you 👌🏾👏🏾
That job needs to be funding that debt... you should not have 300k in loans making under 130k
@@tiffanydaniel4261 completely agree. I went out with a guy who had 150K in loans with a computer science degree and I was like nope! but ended up marrying a guy who had 300K in student loans who is a doctor. So there's definitely layers to it.
I think the type of debt matters because if it is student loan dept and you're a doctor or have a PHD than I can understand and you hopefully got a degree that will help you get a good paying job. So that will be paid off eventually. If it's credit card debt then depending on the amount, I would think you have a spending issue and are not good with money management or saving. But that also depends on how much money you're making. For example if you have 16k in Credit card debt but making 130k a year the debt is not as significant as if you were making 50k a year.
👏🏾
I agree 110%.
I don’t care if they are making 130k! Credit card debit is an indicator that the person is bad with money management or living above their means. Why would you carry debit and pay loan shark prices to banks when you can used that money for other things like vacation and investing into your future? No, on excessive credit card debit period because it can lead to bankruptcy in the future! What happened if they lose their job out dies?! U would be responsible to pay their debit off because you are their spouse.
Basically
I recently ended a relationship with a guy who had $350,000 in student loan debt. We only dated for a month and a half and were pretty serious about getting married in 3-5 years and we were very compatible. I completely overlooked the debt issue and he didn’t talk about it much. We ultimately ended the relationship due to other reasons. In hindsight I realized he wasn’t good at budgeting. He spent a lot of money taking cruises with his family every year and trips with friends etc. even bought a brand new Jeep. I seriously think I dodged a bullet with that.
you definitely did. He’s immature
Wow what was his occupation
@@msbrad2013 he’s a pharmacist
@@karendinesh6540 geesh !!!
You ladies should start a podcast when the show ends
Once you get married to the person their debt becomes your debt. It’s not all about love.
It is about love. Love is honestly. These are things you should talk about because your own assets may be threatened if his creditors come to realise their debt and you have merge your finances.
Absolutely! U shouldn’t marry someone who isn’t transparent.
Honesty is always best in a relationship no matter what it is
I love this maturity with Jeannie 🥰
Student loans like $150-$300+ per month if you’re paying $20 PLEASE switch with meee
I agree with Loni about the type of debt. For example (not to be morbid) but student loan debt is discharged if, God forbid, you pass away. Whereas like a mortgage loan, the bank will put a lien on our home if you owe too much and aren’t paying, if you pass away the debt gets passed on to me or our children…etc.
I think it’s even important to share or just prelude while seriously dating. Debt hinders your ability to do a lot of things.
My husband I got engaged and we waited until we both cleared our debt to get married, buy a house and have children. I’m sorry but I will not get married to a man with debt cause that something he accumulated before me and I’m not going into something as serious as marriage, buying a home and having children until I’m good financially. Definitely should be disclosed as you guys are getting serious and as Loni says find out what type of debt it is!!
Very wise of you to do!
This was a really good topic! I agree with Loni. There are different types of debt. I saw some reality person had over $3M in debt due to failed businesses. That's a lot!! It also makes you wonder if this person is a good provider w/so many failed attempts @ ownership. Medical, college, and auto debt are no biggie. However, credit card debt bc you have a problem shopping is a huge problem!
I get legit upset every time I think of how this show is ending soon. 😅 You will NOT find this kind of free vibe on any similar shows. 🙌🏾
I had HORRIBLE credit and debt when I was younger. I worked hard to get the credit high and the debt low and was able to buy a house. So now the debt is all about the mortgage and the few credit cards (keeping it low). I had to be disciplined and break some generational habits. Let's face it everyone has debt; I think what is more important is how you respect money and what are your spending habits. Like am I gonna pay this light bill on time or buy a new outfit for a party next week?! Those judgement calls with spending are red flags and are very important. I learned the hard way and I am not letting anyone take me back there.
The type of debt is key. If you are in debt in pursuit of career, that is totally different from being reckless with credit card. You should definitely know how responsible someone is with money before you even get engaged.
That’s a pro about being a high school sweetheart, you essentially grow up together & make those decisions together!
Loni and Jeannie are on point here, fine you won't disclose this on a first date Garcelle but you should be honest with your partner before they get in too deep. Its like Loni said when are you going to tell them? You going to wait until you are engaged? No you have to be upfront before things get serious.
💯
Not only that Jeannie but some people are traumatised by debt from past experiences, so be transparent so you can give your partner a chance to decide whether they would like to continue with whatever decision or if they want to end the relationship all together.
An enlightening conversation, loved it
The type of debt absolutely matters! I feel like student loans are more common and understandable. However, if you have rank up thousands on a credit card blowing your money than that is a completely different story.
What Loni said is so true ASK them what kinda debt because it could be something like student debt or a old car payment then I don’t think that’s so bad. But if it’s child support or alimony or even if you you were sued because of some criminal activities you had partaken in and now you have to pay the debt off, for me personally, it would be a no
Beware the person who does not tell you about their large sum of debt until after you have fallen in love with them!
Its definitely important not only does it help understand someones money habits , if the prefer to buy cash or get into debt and pay later. OR even if they are reckless with money do they have a plan to pay back the debt faster especially credit cards. Are they living beyond their means!! Questions that need answers and knowing what money philosophy you will use for your financial future!!
**** YES!!! Have family/friends who married into debt with no clue until months after the wedding. It’s unfair.
It is REQUIRED
I think financial literacy is the only thing that matters! We gotta look at the entire picture, not just the debt. If we don't view finances the same way, then it doesn't matter how much debt you have, how much income you make....we are bound to have financial issues down the road.
For instance, If Bill makes 150k a year and has 20k credit card debt, you'd think, oh okay that's doable. He can tackle that. But also, if Bill has all his money tied up in crypto, no retirement accounts, no emergency fund, no fluidity, no savings for a house or an engagement ring or any other big mildstone we have ahead of us, then there's a bigger issue here. I no longer can trust that Bill even prioritizes that 20k credit card debt in the same way I do.
If we’re serious, run that credit report. I’ve worked hard to improve my own and I have good credit. Ain’t no way I’m getting with someone whose debt can mess up both of our lives. And yes, student loans are one thing, but I need you to be able to use credit cards for your advantage, not running up the bill.
We need this show!!!!
I believe that people should reveal what they believe what are important as soon as they realise the relationship is important. For example my father never revealed how in debt he was before my parents got married and never truly aided financially with my brother and I especially since we were in a different country. Now my mother sadly passed away and things are a bit of a mess
Loooool at Loni’s eye
All I saw was the elephant from Sesame Street lol
Yes your partner should know
What an interesting topic!
Just don't marry someone who is deep in debt.
I would need to know before we become exclusive. Finance is an important part of a relationship. I don't want to build and grow in love, in intimacy, for then having to break up and become heart broken because there was an issue that was conveniently hidden...
Yes cause I’m not fixing anyones credit
I'm going to miss this show so much!!! 😢
Just Wanan say thank you so much I started crying bc I hate my job so much an this is motivating me,but i wanna also thank instant profit ❤️org they give me a reason so much to hustle harder Ty ❤️
Just Wanan say thank you so much I started crying bc I hate my job so much an this is motivating me,but i wanna also thank instant profit ❤️org they give me a reason so much to hustle harder Ty ❤️
Jeannie said something profound [as usual], “you have to disclose what you’re burden with…” that’s deeper and goes beyond finances
YES, YES, YES!
Disclosing how much debt you have and/or how deep you are IN debt, IS MANDATORY! ESPECIALLY, if you plan on marrying that person!
Its NOT fair NOR okay for the person with bad credit 👎🏽 to NOT disclose that they have bad credit/debt!
That can EASILY F*** UP the GOOD 👍🏽 credit the OTHER person has and that's NOT okay! 🙅🏽♀️
Its NOT fair NOR okay for someone to accumulate the SAME bad credit and DEEP DEBT as their spouse! 🙅🏽♀️ Either get that crap together BEFORE marrying or DON'T get married AT ALL! 🙅🏽♀️
1:53 Who's in there🤣
Loni looks beautiful 🥰….. loving the hair sis
Where is Ade?
When my now husband and I moved from the dating to the courting phase (there is a difference in the two stages) we pulled our credit reports sat down reviewed them and discussed our plans.
We dated for 6 months, officially started courting at that 6 month mark and by the 8th month mark we pulled the reports. We both individually owned houses I had 2 kids(22,15 still living at home), had businesses, student loans, and a few credit cards each it was ABSOLUTELY necessary to not only Talk about debt and a plan of attack but to talk about money habits in general. We’ve been together 3 yrs and married 7… Have the Money/Debt Talks people!
Thank you for sharing. This will help someone else too.
I love Jeannie. She’s always right when it comes to relationships
Debt is debt yes but medical debt doesn’t affect your credit profile ( as of July) and student loans are irrelevant haha
I don’t have an issue if a man has a poor credit score. Credit scores change monthly, I look more at his credit profile and his relationship with money. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who isn’t responsible with saving and building wealth
I’m 26 and I’m not carrying somebody
They are speaking from the point of women who have money and worried about getting got, but most women who are not in this situation will have a totally different view. Most try and hide everything until hitched.
Definitely agree...once the relationship gets serious as in you see forever with the person as Jeannie said, then it needs to be discussed. But the debt must remains the debtors responsibility. It must be clear that you are handling it and how you intend to get out of it. I guess if the other party doesn't trust you enough and dont want to stick around....well that's it! But at least you were honest.
I think that’s something your future spouse should know. Why hide that? Because it’s gonna come up eventually. A friend of mine lost her home because her ex husband wasn’t handling their money right. He was gambling and not turning in their bills.
I think it also depends on the genders. The man knows more for sure if the woman he is dating is his future wife since he's the one who proposes. But I'm not telling a man who might or might not even be my future husband my business, especially not about my personal financial information.
Yup I have excellent credit I will neva marry someone with bad credit
Yes what you marry into that then becomes your shared burden to carry. If possible pay off debt asap. I want to pay all college loans before engagement, no debt in my side. Talk about every subject sooner than later especially important topics/faith/beliefs/lifestyle, what if scenarios ^_^❤
I had a small debt right before our wedding and but my husband was so kind took over the payments,he would only let me use the card if we could spend a little extra.
Top reasons for divorce: finances, and sex!
Third month of the relationship let's sit down and talk about our finances. I want us both to have the opportunity to move on sooner rather than later.
I think sharing financial history status should be mandatory before getting married. Cause that can affect the other person as well financially
Hell yea the debt need to be discussed before marriage. Now if he was in heavy debt, He need to have a plan or I’ll help w/ a plan.
I better know before we get married!!
You must disclose all your assets during divorce, or not your breaking the law
This is the only talk show I legitimately want to watch the videos of on RUclips. I think anyone who is watching it should watch it live if you can. Find out what channel it comes on. So sad that the powers that be have decided to end such a good talk show.
Loni's hair❤
If you not ok with sharing your bank account when you get married , you are living as roommates !!!!
Any debt is too much!
Best hair on Loni hands Down!!!!
This needs to be doing dating and courting
Is it okay? Hunny Issa requirement
It’s mandatory
no it’s not people lie !
If you are in financial ruin im sorry but you dont need to be getting married period. And you should NEVER take on another persons financial burden. NEVER.
Good topic!!!
Did she say $20???? $20 a month?!?!? Where??
What happened to for better or worse? 👏👏🤪
Aside from a house not more then 25k
That’s not the same Jeanie. Debt is self inflicted. Getting sick or laid off isn’t.
Now I know y'all in did cuz y'all makes a lot of money but you have to pay a lot of taxes and stuff
Where is the lovely Adrienne at?
Good question!!!
Disclose when you know it's serious. But also watch carefully how they spend and generally view money. If they have debt, what's their plan to pay it off and make sure they DONT GET BACK INTO DEBT. Also, discuss how you would manage your finances together going forward if you were to get married. At a certain stage in life, you're trying to create peace, financial stability, invest for your future etc. You don't need things/people that are going to threatened that.
The Real GOING GOING GOING GONE.Out to CURB ladies it’s OVER abs they are OUT OF HERE…. So Long ladies
I need to know how honest the person is, if he doesn't tell me before we get married, I'd wonder how honest he was and why he really married me in the first place. Then, the marriage is over based on fraud. Because I would have made sure we discussed money first, and since we've discussed money that would include discussing debt. I know someone who got engaged to someone and the person I knew brought up money and saving (handling) it, and the fiancé replied, "That's your problem," and stormed out. He came back later and apologized and said something to her about something else and she replied, "That's your problem," and needless to say it ended the relationship and she is now married to someone else. He never did tell about his debt. She found out when he had either become engaged to another woman or after marrying her; his son told her about it, and that relationship ended. (They (all three) were in the same line dance club.) It seemed like he was mainly getting married for his debts to be paid off.
Yes absolutely, especially if it's a way more serious commitment like engagement or marriage. I am with Loni and Garcelle when they said ask what type of debt. Because some of it may not be that deeply serious and can be worked on or it can be super serious where (I ain't using my money😂) I'm not handing you money, but I can look up and connect you with resources to help lower the debt you have.
Really Jeanine, stop, do you think they are going to be totally honest. I will not mix my finances with my spouse! I am selfish with my money, I have been burned before.
Yes u can’t go I to marriage w debt and hide it
Jeannie looking so beautiful!!!!
It doesn't matter what type of debt you're in, you need to disclose it if you're considering engagement etc. The problem because both of yours
Great discussion. I definitely have those conversations and will have even more in depth one prior to marriage. What Loni said is on point too. Plus that can effect filing taxes or household income being effected.
Never merge your money.
Marriage is about more than financial burdens. Many people, especially men don't want to be burdened with the inability to procreate and taking care of a sick spouse so they should require health records and testing for hereditary diseases also.
child support in the rears will take away from any tax return yall are expecting as a married couple .... periodt
I need to know before engagement
Am with Jeanie 🎯 am 43 and established so therefore am not dating anyone potential
Once the relationship gets serious, it’s time to talk finances and kids and future. In my opinion
Does a mortgage count?
Lonnie is looking great
Yes, for sure 😂🤣 but it must not be other party responsibility
Miss loni hair an makeup SAAAYYYYYYYY...............................................