The Lasting Effects of Bullying, Could Unknowingly Talking in Your Sleep Get You in Trouble?
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- Опубликовано: 15 май 2022
- You asked, Real fam, and we answered! We weigh in on the lasting effect of bullying and if unknowingly talking in your sleep could get you in trouble.
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#Bullying #TopicTakeover #Sleeptalking 
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I was bullied at school in elementary, and when I came home I was also bullied by my own mother. I honestly don’t know how I got through it, but I had a lot of healing to do.
Beatriz, I can relate. I had the same experiences at school in my first three years of high school and at home. My father would many times defend me when my mother was inappropriate. Then they would argue. I can relate to Adrienne's experience as well. If Adrienne had spoken up for herself, those bullies would have opened a can of whoop ass on her! Believe you me, I know! Sadly, the schools don't do a damn thing! I learned from those experiences that it is not important to be liked. It is important to be RESPECTED!
Omg same but it was from my father
Sorry for that, especially from ur mom.
I can totally relate. Even as a middle age woman, I’m still working on it.
How did your mum bully you?
Jeannie was definitely speaking the truth about adult bullying!
So true! Some people never grow up and keep on trying to bully others for the rest of their lives. It's pretty sick and sad.
@@bsbgirl85 and that girl who cohosted before Gazelle joined them, the comedian who isn't funny
Tamar
@@bsbgirl85 i think Jeanie actually did not like Tamar because of her realness and black personality, something that Jeanie has admired her whole life… black so she played Karyn and played victim to only sabotage Tamar and paint her as a loud mean black bully. But oh now how the tables turn.
Tamar
What annoys me is running into the bully as an adult and they acting as if you were friends in school.
Right!
All I can say is "sticks and stones" was the biggest lie. My bumps and bruises healed. I have memories from over 20 years ago from what was said.
Bullies usually bully because they have no control in their life and want to have control for once. I know it’s hard, but what they did to you was technically not personal. Release the power from their words. Be free, be you.
So glad to see that someone else wrote this. I realized recently that the "sticks and stones" saying is absolutely false. It should've never been taught.
Exactly
I was bullied in high school and it does affect your confidence but the best thing to do is to work on your confidence and surround yourself with close friends. I'm 28 now and that was 10 years ago but I honestly feel like it was a humbling experience. I know I could never treat someone else like they're less than just because of how they look , talk or dress.
Wow you really said that perfectly!
@Book Bag Glad you are recovering from the experience! Also, remember that the way someone treats you says more about them than it says about you. This helps me to give less power to their words. Take care!
I am glad that you're take away because that is mine as well. So it is not always true that hurt people hurt people but some hurt people can sympathize
@@2sense110 Yes and you are stronger for getting through it and know you will never let someone have that much control over your self worth again.
Build your children up! Give them confidence! My mom told me to stand up for myself and she told me they were jealous of me. Best thing she ever did
Garcelle’s “OKAY” at the Maria bit had me 🤣 @5:53
My ex husband would talk in his sleep...it got to the point that I just started asking questions. He answered them! That's how I found out he was cheating!
😮😮😮
Parents have to be more responsible for bullying. I remember in HS this girl said her younger brother calls a student smelly and she was laughing about it saying her parents were called into the office but don't care because the kid is smelly and I was wondering what kind of parent is that? If your are not instilling good values in your child and to treat others like they want to be treated then don't have kids.
This topic is so relevant thanks yall for speaking on it. Also I’m so sorry Jeannie and Adrienne experienced bullying it really is so damaging to your mental health, we need to do a better job at protecting our kids
Most definitlely. I think that bullying may come from bad parenting (not teaching your child to respect others and treat them as you would want to be treated)? I wonder where these kids get this notion to want to bully other kids otherwise?
@@TravelingOnStardust Everything starts at home, the first classroom. Everyone shows us a glimpse of their home environment through their personalities. If parents don’t bother to build a strong and stable foundation of what boundaries, respect for themselves & others and kindness is and how to demonstrate it the children won’t have any concept on how to model those principles. What I’ve been picking up on are bullies are coming from households where they see and are subjected to verbal and physical abuse often if not daily, not properly loved the way they should be and probably ignored. Put those factors together and the child goes out into the real world so hurt to the point they don’t know what else to do but inflict their pain onto others. Misery loves company.
the ppl who bullied adrienne were executives & disney adults
Being bullied in school affected me for a long time and I didn’t realize it until I would talk about it or things triggered that pain.
It carries into adulthood like the ladies said unless you get therapy to address the effects of the bullying.
I understand the harm was done, but if it helps, just remember that what they said about you is more a reflection of themselves than of you. Their pain and anger was released onto you, but you didn’t deserve that. Take care!
@@TravelingOnStardust yeah therapy definitely helped
@@gigiC144 yeah I realize that now 🥰
I was bullied my childhood.
They make fun of me all the time
I got social anxiety and depression
Yeah, Garcelle made a great point with positive reinforcements. It’s so important to “reverse the curse” or the harm that bullies have caused.
I agree Adrienne 💯 about her bullying experience because I'm like that to this day but I'm in the process of working through it. I try to avoid confrontation even if I'm right, stay away from certain people/environment etc....being bullied as a child definitely carries into your adult life 💯
I didnt even realise until she said something. I would force myself to say something so bad, but never understood why my body used to shake and get weak.
Lol Loni looks so happy and proud when talking about James. I love that for her, she’s such a good person and deserves all the happiness and more💕💕💕
This show is really going to be missed, hosts included of course
It most definitely is! There were so many good topics and discusssions!
I was bullied in primary school and I thought it didn’t touch me anymore, but many responses that I have as an adult are results of that. Even when I think of the fact how i tried to be nice as a teen, it was out of kindness but also out of people pleasing to not being bullied again.
Ppl expect you to just brush bullying off, I still have moments seeing the girls on FB that bullied me in my school years, scrolling past their pics angers me sometimes, I always think did they give any thought as to how their actions affected me and others, they probably don’t even remember or care. Something inconsequential to them leaves a lasting impression.
I was bullied my whole childhood. From elementary to junior high to high school. It's followed me to now being a mother and now I will not and cannot allow my children to bullied. I also do not let anyone try and bully me despite their status, their gender. Screw that. You can be my brother in law, my cousin, my coworker. You are not going to speak to me like I'm lower than you booboo
I was bullied my whole childhood and now i just quit my job as a zumba instructor also because i was bullied to being put down and manipulated constantly it's hard and now I'm recovering thru counseling
My child would have one time to tell me that they were scared at school and that would be it! There's no way I would continue to send them to continuously be bullied. Especially, since I see a lot of parents mention that administration never does anything. I was bullied in high school and in college (weird I know) And it seemed like no matter what happened it never let up. My parents would go up to the middle school and talk to the principal, but it just continued and eventually I just didn't say anything. Worst years of my life! So now that I have children, I would never subject them to that at such a young age.
I was bullied when I was a little boy and it was rough for me since I was a student at Jenner Elementary but I learned how to get over being bullied by having a voice and stand up to anyone everyday!!!!!
To be honest I never got the whole concept of 'bullied in school' and you grow up or grow out of it. Bullying is everywhere. I see it in my work place, I see it in higher education, I even see it in the nursing homes. We saw bullying take place on national television this year with a grown ass 53 year old at the Oscars- Will Smith and Chris Rock. The concept of people feeling more powerful and better than others and intimidating the 'underdog' for personal gain is a human condition. Instead of stealing your lunch money at the playground, it turns into outcasting that one co-worker so that they never make it to the "parties" and feel like they don't have a voice. Bullying never disappears, it just changes its form. And that's what is the most sad part of this all.
i remember getting bullied for getting bullied. and when something was done about it, i was bullied for that too. sometimes kids just don’t like another kid no matter what they do.
Remember it’s not you, it’s them. They just decided to fixate their anger on you. You are strong, you are beautiful inside and out, and you are capable!
We taught the kids in our family (and I taught my god kids) from the youngest age into their teens, how to use their voices. If someone teased them, walk up to them, get in their personal space and say "that's not okay" and don't look away....stare them down.
I actually watched one of my nieces through a porch window once as she had a neighbor kid "try" to bully her. The little girl was left speechless.😂 And my niece did not back down and stared at her and repeated "That's not okay Kira" I wasn't even remotely concerned that I should step in just in case. Kira mumbled something under her breath and she didn't attempt to bully any of the other kids for the rest of their time playing.
And that happend when she was 8 years old. She is a grown woman now. And just as I was never bullied, she would tell you the same for herself. My father taught me how to speak to my peers and we have passed his lesson on to all the kids in my family. Which is why we are all confident.
I do have sympathy for kds that are bullied, but I still stand by my strong opinion adults that allow that to happen to them have only themselves to blame. I could not fathom allowing anyone to disrespect me in that manner.
I agree with those teachings.
That's really awesome!
One size does not fit on because like Adrian says you retaliate and it can get worse
It’s crazy how much Ade and I have in common. Appreciate how honest the ladies are, damn this show is a huge support to a lot of people can’t believe it’s ending.
I never really experienced bullying at school but I would at home. This affected me into adulthood because the people who were supposed to be my support were the ones hurting my self-confidence and security the most.
I survived bullying and I’m so grateful!!! It was so bad I didn’t even want to wake up some mornings. Thank You, Jesus, for healing me!
I was bullied twice in my life by a group of girls who didn’t like me based on the fact guys found me pretty and would compliment me and the second time was by my now ex husband who would verbally mentally emotionally abuse me over the past 10 years
Omg 10 years?🙁 How did you survive?
Bullied straight through elementary/middle school. Still working through this in therapy at 30 🙃
I explained the psychology to my nephew behind bullying... It's almost never about the victim and usually the bully has extreme self-esteem issues and searching for power to feel some sense of worth. Do not hit 1st but self defense is a must!! 🥊🥊🥋🎯
This can be difficult because when my parents stepped in for me when I was getting bullied, the bullying got worse because then I was considered a snitch.
And this is why a lot of kids say nothing because they know that will happen 🥺☹️
Better to be a snitch then a bitch
The 'BULLYING' dynamic has always been around...in your immediate environments, the push back has to match maturity levels for effectiveness, plus character identification and inclusion
Why does Naturi Naughton come to mind?
My best friend was bullied so much in hs.. the school wouldn't do anything. They'd threaten her, sometimes hit her, keyed her car and just constantly picking on her. To the point her mom had to follow her to our games& everywhere she went to protect her. And when her baby died, they bullied her even more about that😔
Ppl can be so cruel.
SMH.
I definitely notice the long lasting effects from being verbally abused at a younger age … and am working on it … but it’s a journey 😪 !
I experienced being bullied as an adult, with such a need to please the superior manipulated and belittled me to the point where I doubted myself even when I’m in the right. Thank God it didn’t lead me into a dark place where I thought suicidal thoughts but I was so stressed out that I found myself only eating once a day. It took my now husband of 4 years to be the friend that he was to help me open my eyes, find my voice, speak my truth and stand up for myself. I’m so grateful for him and the circle I kept to help me through that time and I learned a great deal about me that didn’t know before.
I was bullied my whole school life. Starting in Elementary school. They made fun of my parents shitty cars, that my mom was older than their moms. She had wrinkles(she had me at 30). Then it when to making fun of how I looked. I was way taller than the boys and had glassss. On the bus the girls would make fun of how I had knock off shoes and clothes. It never stopped. I literally hated life. And my parents didn't even notice. My mom didn't even notice when they put me on antidepressants as a teenager. And she wasn't on drugs or anything. she wasn't a terrible mom but she focused so much on my dad and not me
I didnt get bullied but my friend did and im mad at myself for not sticking up for her. i hate having social anxiety. I feel like if I didn’t have social anxiety i would have stuck up for her.
Omg I remember being verbally bullied school in middle school and having to coming home getting verbally bullied by my own father. This caused me to become an introvert. And I'm diagnosed with anxiety depression. I'm still getting over it. I now speak up more also. The same girls still discuss me negatively even in adulthood. I remember finding out when the same girls were in my high school grad class and all of us had like a mini reunion. I found out they were gossiping about me. That's when I realized it was jealousy. Those same girls from middle school grew up through high school and afterwards still got me living in their heads rent free
I was bullied at school and church but I do believe that's why I'm so caring now
Loni’s hair!! 😍😍
To Adrienne's point, sometimes parents don't know their kids are being bullied because they don't tell them and they don't want their parents to intervene. Which then the parents don't find out till its too late. In that case what do you do? Personally I feel like if you start to see extreme changes in behavior in your kid whether you know if they are getting bullied or not is when you should take action.
Don’t stop the show we neeeeeeeed this topics
I’ve been bullied for years when I was a kid, mainly for my appearance. I was a cute kid but I was wearing glasses and had crooked teeth. The teachers knew but no one intervened. Being bullied 100% affects me today, although I changed ny appearance, inside of me I still feel that “ugly” little girl. I have perfect teeth and stylish glasses, sometimes I even wear lenses. My confidence has been impacted, I’m very insecure still and are very very shy. This gives me issues in social aspects as well as at work
It’s traumatic for sure. Maybe they chose you to bully, but why did they bully? Most likely they wanted to release their steam and frustration from their home life onto someone else, anyone else. Don’t let others drag you down with them. Shine your light and appreciate all you are blessed with! Take care
💖
Teach them how to fight back, only way to deal with a bully is to whoop ass
My daughter was bullied from the age of 7 for her bigger butt and she never participated in sport ever again. That experience changed her... she was such a bubbly energetic little girl before they did that. Atleast she had music to fall back on so she sang her heart out lol
It's so beautiful how loni takes care of james😊
It warms my heart knowing that Loni is happy 🥰
I was bullied through out my secondary school and even when I told my parents, they'll either say "oh they're jealous of you", when it really got bad and I was getting derogatory messages, they'd come to school and complain, but this resulted in me being called a snitch. Like Adrienne, Still scared of confrontations till today, they give me anxiety. I have to mentally prepare for it, if it's in the moment, I end up walking away.
Got angry and anxious just because I thought about my past and now I’m thinking about all these adults around me that make me feel the same type of way I did in when I felt like I couldn’t stand up for myself … wow.
When schools integrated in my area in the late 60’s. My first teacher bullied me and others black students in her class. We were not allowed to raised our hands to asked questions. If we did she would pop our hand with a ruler. I was in 6 th grade. I didn’t tell my parents. I knew my Dad would come to the school and I was afraid of what they would have done to him. If the police were to be called to the school, I was afraid for his safety. I still get anxiety when remember what she would verbal say and also the pops with the ruler. You learned really quick to just sit and listen. What I learned that year was by listening to the other students (white)asked their questions and learning from that. I didn’t tell my parents until my teen years. It was actually after that teacher had died.
So grateful you all spoke about this. No one talks about how deeply rooted bullying is in our homes and how it then infiltrates our schools and continues in our adult relationships
This comment section just shows how most of us have been bullied. That's why it's so important to talk to your kids & teach them from a young age to accept people as they are & not bully or put each other down for Any reason. This world has so much going on that we can't control. It'd be the best thing if we all just accepted & respected each other.
@Keisha L I was treated very badly and now, I'm a complete monster for it! I sometimes feel like going ragefully insane. I hope I don't snap on someone. I also can't trust anyone. I have trouble making friends and dating and marriage is completely out of the question. I just prefer to be by myself away from people, they make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I don't anyone really cares so for society sake I should stay away from people.
@@pierreseaton2795 I'm so sorry you've had to experience life in this way but I understand how u feel. Honestly being by yourself is a good thing bc u get to know what u like & don't like & what actually brings u some kind of joy. That's what u should focus on, not fitting in. When u find things u truly enjoy the rest just falls into place & just bc it's not what others think is normal doesn't mean there's something wrong with u. It's your life & your story. Things will get better when u don't compare what your living to others. Just so u know, I don't know u & I cared enough to respond. ❤️
@@pierreseaton2795 alot of people are living their life to others standards & aren't as happy as they portray. Don't let anyone else have control of your feelings or actions. You're gonna be ok 😘
@@keishal4930 thanks, hope so. But still I feel so uncomfortable around people. I never hang out with anyone, I feel better that way. I just engage in hobbies like car audio, gaming. I'm an artist also and make money doing that so that keeps me busy. Thanks again for your positive comment!🙂
@@keishal4930 thank you for this! 🙂 Sometimes I feel like staying indoors, work from home and never come out of the house though tbh.
My father bullied me all the time, the whole family… he did this every day.
Jeannie was bullied right on the show but she handled it with so well sometimes I wanted to fight on her behalf, it was so infuriating seeing it happen right infront of us over and over again and nothing was done. Tamar and Amanda, they should be ashamed of themselves.
I don’t think Amanda bullied her. They just had different opinions on many many things.
Tamar was too much 🤦🏽♀️
LOVED this conversation! def relatable and it's so reassuring to hear
We need to treat bullying as abuse. That's the only way to recover properly.
We as adults learn to cope with it by just acting like it doesn’t bother us… and that is one of the worst ways to deal with it only cuz all it does it give a mask and bottle up emotions… to the point where u become a ticking time bomb and who knows how severe the reaction may be
I was treated badly too, I also feel like a ticking time bomb ready to EXPLODE!💣😡
I don’t know if I still do it, but I definitely used to talk in my sleep as a kid. One time my mom was like “oh, so you got in trouble in school today, huh?” I told on myself in my dang sleep. LOL
ADRIENNE!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh. My. Goodness..!! Literally dying over here the maria bit was LOL
I can totally understand what ad said..and that's why now I feel it's so important to teach your kids that it's ok to have e healthy debates and to allow tour kids to respectfully speak how they're feeling because that teaches them early on how to not be so fearful to stand up or protect youreelf...AND adults need to not holler at kids or be too aggressive and overbearing.
Bullying is never ok but it’s just not kids it’s grown people. It’s never ok to bully no matter what age.
The James part..🤣🤣🤣🤣😅😅😂😂
I've heard stories about all the ugly stuff Adrienne use to say at signings about her fans when she was in the music group 3LW. We haven't forgotten how you treated Naturi Naughton either. Adrienne you were the bully..just to find out years later you were just projecting how you felt about yourself!
People bullied me when I was high school,and I couldn't defend myself ,trust me that affect me till to day in my adulthood,I'm so afraid of confrontation ,I was always stay silence and ignore that helps me a lot,I don't know why people do that its so hurtful,people find pleasure in bullying people.its so hard.
There's another side to this. There are those who don't want to be bullied so what do they do they join the bullies. If you can't beat them join them. It's a sick cycle
THE WAY ADE TURNED AROUND TO MAKE SURE JAMES WAS IN CHECK AHAHAH 6:02
Honestly I feel like bullying was worser back in the day nowadays these Bullies Are jokes and some people are just really mean but that doesn't mean that they're a bully
My daughter is 18 and she’s autistic and she was bullied this whole year and the school did nothing
My condolences
It makes me so mad that neurodivergent kids are never protected😤 I’m sorry she (and you) had to experience that
@@lexmatthewtheurbanavenger8538 she’s not deceased
@@countrygyrl4121 I mean you have my sympathies
What do you do when it's your parent doing the bullying? A person that you cannot escape because you live with them. How do you confront that? How do you encourage that person to stand up to their parent? Or convince the parent that what they're saying is a form of bullying?
Maybe talk to a school counselor to find out how to handle this?
Awww... little Mallory.💕 Such a sweet name you don't hear anymore. Parents name their Nam & Jo short for Vietnam and Banjo. I kind you not!
Yep, Tamar
I totally relate to Adrienne on sooooo many things.
I recently got Bullied by one of my good friend while we were on my birthday holiday abroad, well I thought we were friends, but as adult it hurts more and it stems from something that happened to me as a child with my own relationship with my mother so it's why I allowed. some friends behaviour towards me and it took me so long to realise and get help with therapy .
Now I know when it's happening and how to deal with it..and also how to move on...little to say we're no longer friends and I am so happy for growing and getting help.
How do u deal with being bullied as an adult ?😢
I used to call people names and name calling to others when I was in elementary school, middle school and high school since in my childhood. But especially, I used to call my mother ‘stupid’ and the other hurtful words to her last Saturday and then I was so wrong.
I was bullied at school and at home by my grandparents and aunt and other people in community because I didn't have a dad even my cousins too...I still have people loving myself
Adrienne wanted to bring up 3LW but held back
My husband talks in his sleep. I be ALL EARS lmao just in case something slips. But all he talks about is work lol
I think Adrienne was talking about kiely in 3LW
The worse bully is an adult bully... e should know better
Kiely Williams, if i catch you in those streets !
Bullying follow me into my marriage....
Omg Adrienne and Jeannie story I resonatd with
I was afraid of my dad's voice and I was bullied by my teachers and classmates
Lmaooo Loni with that oh he speaking in tounges thing hahahahaha😄😄😁😁😅
Jeannie is talking about Tamar.
Dang Adrienne let people finish their thoughts😭😭
Kind of thinking of Tamar and the Cheetah Girls being the issues here
i nev'r felt soo low az i do now for speak'n up against the constant "don't do az i do , cuz i m done & walk'n if u do " & " the "r u tryna say that bout me, or that i m do'n it ". i have reassur'd her many tymez n ev'n stat'd : "My best intentionz for U n i iz wut I have. Noth'n i do or say iz meant cauze any stress sorrow or pain."
She wuz mak'n me thynk that i need'd to alt'r my wurd selection, n did to no avail. (•ding• go'n down, low'st low & i!!!
Omg I related to this episode so much
Loni😍 💀🤣🤣 I love when she shares stories of her and James 😭🤣🤣🤣
I talk in my sleep so much I am always nervous I snitch on myself lol
😂
He should not have to wake up every morning fearful of going to school.
Talking in your sleep shouldn't get a man or woman in trouble it's human nature I'm single I talk to my Dad resting in heaven in my sleep full Talking. And talk too an Avengers or Batman in my dreams. Bullying I was mildly I told my parents my Dad and mom told me defend myself I pinned my bully against walk made them apologize they didn't get free till they did became friends I was 10
Adrienne and Keely bullied nautari from 3LW🙊
Yep and she only apologized a few years ago. I only started liking Adrienne since she’s been on the view because I heard she was a bully back in the day.
Adrienne wasn’t doing the bullying. Keely was. Nautari even said that, Adrienne just stayed quiet that was the main part
Lol @ lonie talking about james.
Adult bullying never a problem for me I an person know respectfully but with wolverine claws don't damn well test me or they'll get my wrath
Jeannie’s talking about Tamar. Lol
Hahahaha oh Loni I can't
Jeannie was definitely bullied by Tamar
Can we change the narrative can we turn this thing around because usually if you are being bullied is because you're an awesome human being meaning you want stoop to their level you would rather crawl up into a corner and cry
💜💜💜💜