The psychology of narcissism - W. Keith Campbell

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  • Опубликовано: 22 фев 2016
  • View full lesson: ed.ted.com/lessons/the-psychol...
    Narcissism isn’t just a personality type that shows up in advice columns; it’s actually a set of traits classified and studied by psychologists. But what causes it? And can narcissists improve on their negative traits? W. Keith Campbell describes the psychology behind the elevated and sometimes detrimental self-involvement of narcissists.
    Lesson by W. Keith Campbell, animation by TOGETHER.

Комментарии • 13 тыс.

  • @shimpiyaa
    @shimpiyaa 2 года назад +10957

    Narcissus died because he heard about my birth. He was afraid of competition

  • @marveldk
    @marveldk 3 года назад +30527

    My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations.
    I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

  • @elenbalyan3683
    @elenbalyan3683 Год назад +620

    A lack of empathy is a big indicator of narcissism. This indicates that the narcissist is unable or unwilling to understand the desires, needs, or emotions of other people. They find it challenging to accept accountability for their actions as a result. From my own experience, narcissistic people are extremely resistant to changing their behavior, even when it's causing them problems.

    • @jannettekirwin4530
      @jannettekirwin4530 Год назад

      ruclips.net/video/sC-X1FqoliQ/видео.html

    • @caki4695
      @caki4695 10 месяцев назад +6

      Tbf you don't need to understand or share other's feelings to feel bad for and/or have desire to help them. I'm not too empathetic but I don't think I'm a narcissist (though I do get worried sometimes, I don't relate to the symptoms)

    • @kaluidika5534
      @kaluidika5534 5 месяцев назад +15

      Indeed, changing one's behaviour starts with admitting you have a problem, or at least admitting you aren't perfect. But a narcissist would rather die than admit to that.

    • @Szokynyovics
      @Szokynyovics 2 месяца назад +1

      Nah, you are wrong.
      They absolutely understand others emotions, they have a lot of empathy, BUT they only use it to their own advantage, manipulation.
      They are not psychopats. Worse.

    • @se_eikeboom6891
      @se_eikeboom6891 2 месяца назад

      You're wrong, it's more pathological. They are actually delusional, they believe in their reality so much it becomes they reality. They do have empathy for people, because those people are a part of the narcissists life. @@Szokynyovics

  • @mimic5121
    @mimic5121 Год назад +221

    Narcissism isn't generally about thinking they're better than someone or not.. It's more about thinking of one self as the main character in a movie and everybody else exists only in relation to their self-image (supporting casts). Narcissists feel shame, no guilt. They are vaguely dissatisfied with their life. They often feel rage, sadness, anxiety with high intensity and frequently. They don't feel joy or happiness outside of themself.

    • @lamentate07
      @lamentate07 Год назад +21

      The main character in a film they are directing.
      I like how you said they are 'vaguely dissatisfied' with life. That is an important distinction. They aren't fully aware that they are dissatisfied, but they know something isn't quite 'right', and it's this feeling that probably keeps moving them forward, in the search for the next 'hit', 'conquest' etc.
      Their lives are on infinite loop.

    • @krasistefanovlol
      @krasistefanovlol Год назад +4

      so basically they live in gta, but they dont do crimes

    • @potetop9282
      @potetop9282 10 месяцев назад

      I feel like i have this...
      It's weird and I am aware of it but sometimes they just happen even though they are very unreal...
      Edit: grammar

    • @kalleidemation
      @kalleidemation 3 месяца назад +5

      Anybody who refers to another real life human being as an "NPC" is definitely a red flag for a narcissist.

    • @Abcdefjh927
      @Abcdefjh927 15 дней назад +1

      Who tf doesn’t think they are somewhat the main character in some ways? Everyone is the main character in their own life, don’t just throw around a serious clinical diagnosis

  • @stewiegriffin12341
    @stewiegriffin12341 3 года назад +11302

    Fun fact: the flower was named for Narcissus because of how it arcs towards the water; as if it’s looking at its reflection.

  • @mikeh5399
    @mikeh5399 8 лет назад +51163

    I’m way too great to be a narcissist.

  • @x-2954
    @x-2954 3 месяца назад +231

    When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..

    • @miloslavmasar
      @miloslavmasar 2 месяца назад +13

      Reading this was... a journey to say the least💀

    • @beanberry42
      @beanberry42 2 месяца назад +6

      I hate it when I read these and relate to it a lot

    • @absoluuut
      @absoluuut 2 месяца назад +4

      When dealing with narcissism, you should run lol

    • @hukuveltqw7266
      @hukuveltqw7266 Месяц назад

      woww lemme use this comment for some references in my midterm essay ty

    • @CT-gl2zj
      @CT-gl2zj Месяц назад +5

      Wow. That was a long and elaborate ad.

  • @raygun1524
    @raygun1524 2 года назад +92

    I'll never forget my father telling me "Why do you care more about making your mom upset than you care about making me upset?" when I told him I was having nightmares because of stress about wanting my mom to be happy and healthy when she was going through a rough time.

    • @thejanpg3438
      @thejanpg3438 Год назад

      Please subscribe my channel for more psychological videos -ruclips.net/video/OcmOzvuvds8/видео.html

  • @headcanon6408
    @headcanon6408 4 года назад +41511

    I’m definitely not a narcissist, I’m probably the most humble person ever despite the fact that I’m one of the smartest, best looking, most competent, and overall best people I know

    • @belalabusultan5911
      @belalabusultan5911 4 года назад +3948

      you are one of the smartest, best looking, most competent, and overall best people ever.
      I can assure you of this.
      because I am the #1 in all of these things.

    • @RFM-
      @RFM- 4 года назад +1311

      I believe you and we haven't even met.

    • @seli3631
      @seli3631 4 года назад +309

      HeadCanon same but thats me talking about me and also by the way youre lying im the greatest thing

    • @belalabusultan5911
      @belalabusultan5911 4 года назад +223

      @@seli3631 excuse me, did someone call (greatest thing) ??

    • @mustafaal-nidawi2838
      @mustafaal-nidawi2838 4 года назад +42

      You think so?

  • @midnightmidnight6796
    @midnightmidnight6796 5 лет назад +4630

    "For a narcissist, self-reflection is hard from an unflattering angle."

    • @kaliautencio6520
      @kaliautencio6520 4 года назад +16

      Midnight Midnight sounds like my mom. its scares me now

    • @laurensouth5547
      @laurensouth5547 4 года назад +10

      Love that. Perfect way to put it

    • @brianwalsh1401
      @brianwalsh1401 3 года назад +8

      Hard? I'd say usually impossible for a full blown narcissists.

    • @ATRElDES
      @ATRElDES 3 года назад +2

      @@kaliautencio6520 you should check out r/raisedbynarcissists

    • @sukiosartchannel3689
      @sukiosartchannel3689 2 года назад +16

      @@brianwalsh1401 I know this from personal experience, they can’t handle any criticism even when it’s gently delivered, and begin projecting onto you instead and changing the subject to talk about how you’re not perfect either and everything that’s wrong with you. Talking to them is a waste of time.

  • @youngreeper1439
    @youngreeper1439 Год назад +52

    I've realized that over the years of rise of social media, we've gotten a front-row seat to how narcissistic some people can be.

    • @chatgpt4135
      @chatgpt4135 11 месяцев назад +3

      Many People will still blame saying there is mothing like narcissism and sensitiveness, these are gen z's melodrama and people should continue emotional abuse as daily normal part of teaching 'way of life'
      Mostly parents do this as an excuse to emotionally manipulate youngers

    • @elkanahfrederickayittey77
      @elkanahfrederickayittey77 7 месяцев назад

      ruclips.net/video/-KEpVKlu4EA/видео.htmlfeature=shared

  • @7w7-2
    @7w7-2 Год назад +179

    It’s a strange disorder at first. It takes a while to understand the behavior could be that petty, superficial, and juvenile. What amazes people is that they seem so charming, bold, and magical. Both men and women can fall in love with the same person. It is a paradox that such talent in one aspect of life could exist next to such idiocy in the next moment. But, the most difficult lesson is earned later when he or she becomes the very last person you should ever trust on anything. Essentially this desperate, frightened and unlovable individual wants to be hugged and protected by anyone stronger or wiser than he/she. All their selfish, bombastic, and reckless behaviors are designed to create more space and exceptions for the actor. The boundaries that are shattered may be sacred to you, but meaningless to them. This is how they stun onlookers and seize the moment hypnotizing their prey. Imagine what a deer does when headlights catch them halfway across the road. That’s what they try to achieve with bigger and bigger audiences. Furthermore, they are always testing true believers for the extent of their situational loyalty. This repeating fraudulent cycle explodes opportunities to gain leverage and do crimes upon the unwitting fools that he intended to set up all along. So, his game always creates and follows the same cycles. Once you get used to the way he/she speaks, thinks, and connives, you can see if its you about to be set up, or whom among the key players that show loyalty. The narcissist giant blindspot is two fold: 1) they make a bunch of repeated mistakes, and 2) never expect the person that is setting him up to be caught. The narcissist rarely does anything he’s never done many times before. And, in most of the mistaken actions he doesn’t learn, improve, or vary in the end result. Lastly, the narcissist never works alone, he always recruits willing volunteers to abuse. Often these people are from the hypnotized or the smitten that become abusable volunteers that will always let him come back in. The cycles are always a version of what he did before. That’s why the narcissist is so predictable. If you need to find out about a cheating narcissist; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com

  • @blankearth5840
    @blankearth5840 4 года назад +9033

    You forgot to mention how they can be so toxic, manipulative and abusive, and how a narcissistic parent would think we owe them for everything they’ve done for us especially when taking care of us when we were infants. I’ll never forget my dad saying “I CHANGED YOUR DIAPERS”. They think there is just no point in a raising a child if there is nothing in it for them. That is not unconditional love and kindness

    • @laurenajax2000
      @laurenajax2000 4 года назад +260

      Facts

    • @jenmanzanares87
      @jenmanzanares87 4 года назад +271

      Could not have said it better...

    • @hedonistking7608
      @hedonistking7608 4 года назад +132

      Raising children is waste of time

    • @celestiarosso7299
      @celestiarosso7299 4 года назад +66

      Sorry that you feel like that , hope they get better 💓

    • @taimarashika
      @taimarashika 4 года назад +234

      I can relate to you in so many ways. My father is a narcissist and that made our whole family suffer all throughout. And the last things that u said.. You just spoke my mind

  • @billbright1755
    @billbright1755 4 года назад +6462

    It’s hard to be humble when your perfect in every way.
    Yo Yo! Sup? Word up.
    Come on my peeps, that other guys way to far ahead,, make with the likes already!

    • @gewgulkansuhckitt9086
      @gewgulkansuhckitt9086 4 года назад +890

      Perfect except that you wrote "your" instead of "you're".

    • @theconspiracytheorist9191
      @theconspiracytheorist9191 4 года назад +342

      @@gewgulkansuhckitt9086Lmao, what a slap for Bill Bright

    • @reneemctume357
      @reneemctume357 4 года назад +136

      Bill Bright I hope this is a joke lol

    • @glenphillips9068
      @glenphillips9068 4 года назад +92

      Humility is a strange subject...if you think you're humble your probably not , if you don't think you're humble, you just might be humble. It's like blurting out " I am the greatest" ...its best to let someone else bestow that title on you. It might also be a good idea not to believe your own press. The Lord's Prayer might teach humility if you heed it.

    • @TheChosen217
      @TheChosen217 4 года назад +54

      I don't think I'm perfect.
      I don't know I'm perfect.
      I AM PERFECT.

  • @querencia2633
    @querencia2633 2 года назад +17

    Loving yourself & being obsessed with yourself is absolutely fine , just make sure you don't bring other people down

  • @themuffinman2425
    @themuffinman2425 Год назад +19

    i always thought i was a narcissist, and i kinda am. I realised that i am not only a bit egoistic but i'm also a bit of a vulnerable narcissist. I get irritated or annoyed when someone is actually being better than me in something i'm good at, or when someone tries to say that they're smarter than me. I never told this to anyone for obvious reasons

    • @kimberlylawton1617
      @kimberlylawton1617 23 дня назад +2

      Each of us registers somewhere on the Narcissist scale, but the import factor is that you are self-aware enough to acknowledge these happening. It's on each of us, individually, to make ourselves better.
      In this case, instead of focusing on the negative feelings of not being first (those are natural BTW), focus in the positive things. "I did my best" "they have come so far" "wow, working together makes things go faster is is more fun"... It's all in how we view things.
      As someone who has spent my whole life with a Narc that ranges from a 7.6 to an 8.2 on the Narc scale, I'd place you between a 2.8 and a 3.3. You have some learning and healing to do, but the first big step is acknowledging that something is wrong. Now that that hurdal is out of the way, move forward with hope and confidence that things can change for the better. You've got this!

  • @francisfor6ver
    @francisfor6ver 5 лет назад +5103

    me watching this: “am i a narcissist?”

    • @KCCC326
      @KCCC326 4 года назад +521

      Ayesha Julia
      By wondering that you prove you probably are not. A true narcissistic type would either get mad at this video, or it would never cross their mind to apply it to themselves

    • @ameliap0ndd
      @ameliap0ndd 4 года назад +387

      self awareness is the first step to self improvement

    • @sebastianreinfeld1912
      @sebastianreinfeld1912 4 года назад +10

      Same.

    • @dissturbbed
      @dissturbbed 4 года назад +64

      Might be borderline but who isn’t?

    • @nobodycares6817
      @nobodycares6817 4 года назад +112

      The problem with this is: by wondering this, not just to yourself, but broadcasting it to other people might be your attempt at trying to get positive affirmation by other people, thus proving, to yourself at least, that you aren’t what you might’ve thought you are.
      Self acknowledgement is the first step on the right path, yes, but the worst kind of narcissists are the kind that subtly manipulate themselves along with the people around them.
      Thank you, this was my ted talk. And no, a standing ovation is not required, though my speech *was* quite impeccable, if me and my colleagues are to be believed, and trust me, they are both outstanding judges.
      No hate, I was just stating my own thoughts.

  • @abdurahimannoushad9195
    @abdurahimannoushad9195 4 года назад +8687

    When Narcissus died, the entire creations around wept for him. The trees, the river, the animals and the birds, everyone mourned his death, as they no longer could enjoy his beauty.
    After sometimes, they all gradually forgot about Narcissus, except the river. The river kept on crying and the water become salty, making it non drinkable for the animals and birds. To solve the problem an angel arrived and asked the river why she was still crying for Narcissus.
    The river remained quite and kept on crying.
    The angel asked whether it was because she no longer could enjoy the beauty of Narcissus staring at her.
    At last the river replied.
    "I am not crying because Narcissus is no more there to stare at me. It's because I will miss seeing my own reflection in his eyes when he stared at me"
    -The Alchemist.

    • @leandre8896
      @leandre8896 3 года назад +121

      What does that even mean?

    • @Yiching-qs3dh
      @Yiching-qs3dh 3 года назад +1454

      @@leandre8896 The river is a narcissist.

    • @leandre8896
      @leandre8896 3 года назад +67

      @@Yiching-qs3dh Aaah ok

    • @pikachu5647
      @pikachu5647 3 года назад +58

      @@leandre8896 😂

    • @mennahany2670
      @mennahany2670 3 года назад +2

      @Ayshah Shahab I want

  • @psivast8007
    @psivast8007 2 года назад +356

    I think the label "narcissist" is thrown around a lot to label someone who is confident and that we don't like. We have become a society that reacts too much and understands too little. I think an even worse epidemic in society is not the narcissistic tendencies people exhibit, but rather our sudden urge to label someone we don't understand or even appreciate as someone who "obviously" has a mental problem. As someone who has a diagnosed mental health "label", I think a better way to explain someone who is acting in a different manner then we might like or even expect, would be to go and talk to that person, and let THEM explain to you what it is that might be causing them to be perceived in a certain way. Most people have other attributing factors that are leading to their less then ideal behavior, and we should judge less and understand more, before throwing around labels like "narcissist".

    • @ImogenShade
      @ImogenShade 2 года назад +20

      Thank you for your input, it helps others like meself to see the whole picture!
      I still draw the line at abuse/violence, but compassion & understanding for our fellow humans goes a long way, maybe even make a new friend!☺️

    • @qxqp
      @qxqp Год назад +28

      Spoken like a true narcissist 🤣🤣

    • @irenerosesabejon695
      @irenerosesabejon695 Год назад +4

      @@qxqp Yep that's what I also observed from people who least know what NDS is. They will label anyone that's against them as narcissist. And it's popularized more by those who have been to bad relationships.

    • @coachedbyjt903
      @coachedbyjt903 Год назад +6

      You literally missed the point. Not everyone is a narcissist who’s confident, there’s obviously a difference/line between both

    • @kylesimone6140
      @kylesimone6140 Год назад

      I had a """"""friend"""""". he literally talked behind everyones back and when we confronted him, he said we were a waste of time and our friend, who was his crush, was told she was a waste of time liking.
      is that narcissism?

  • @drchalquist
    @drchalquist Год назад +39

    Thanks for posting. I draw on my clinical and corporate background to teach classes on identifying and handling narcissism. Two more types: malignant (which borders on sociopathy) and communal (doing things for others in order to get praised). Important to remember too that narcissism isn't just a characteristic of those people over there: we all have some, especially when raised in cultures or subcultures that frame narcissistic entitlement, selfishness, ambitiousness, and grandiosity as positive.

  • @tomsdejus5
    @tomsdejus5 4 года назад +4133

    Got it? He *fell in* love.

  • @briannaw.7226
    @briannaw.7226 5 лет назад +7388

    Only 1-2% of the population? That sounds awfully low.

    • @mydogsfacelookslikeastockp8275
      @mydogsfacelookslikeastockp8275 5 лет назад +242

      people are less selfish than you think

    • @jboyj7822
      @jboyj7822 5 лет назад +861

      That was back then, but narcissism is increasing in this new generation because they grow up with social media, Special Snowflake Syndrome and weak parents

    • @Nick_Nightingale
      @Nick_Nightingale 5 лет назад +164

      Jboy J I agree. I can easily think of at least 5 narcissistic people that I know.

    • @khairulanwar5443
      @khairulanwar5443 5 лет назад +130

      Well, its still around 70 - 140 million people, so yeah.

    • @jaded8578
      @jaded8578 5 лет назад +77

      1-2% is a lot, it's like the population of France

  • @suryanshkhatri7929
    @suryanshkhatri7929 2 года назад +9

    I believe that ACCEPTING OUR OWN FLAWS and trying to improve is a trait that makes us 'non narcissistic' (if that's a word)

  • @potatobitsprout4780
    @potatobitsprout4780 2 года назад +16

    I've been struggling with narcissism since my parents spoiled me a lot. My parents give me what i want and give me little responsibility to carry, since my older siblings carry more. It affects my relationship with others and now i have no friends. Being self-centred brat pushes people away from me.

  • @oonooooooooo
    @oonooooooooo 3 года назад +25052

    it’s so interesting to find out more about my parents culture 💕

  • @allys744
    @allys744 2 года назад +11145

    There’s nothing wrong with being positive about your image. Just don’t tear others down.

    • @dantheman3022
      @dantheman3022 2 года назад +526

      Yeah thats what i think......theres absolutely nothing wrong with you guys being not as great as me !!!

    • @jackhoward10
      @jackhoward10 2 года назад +56

      Underrated comment

    • @calico9046
      @calico9046 2 года назад +207

      I agree except for the part about “tearing others down”. It’s a shame they’re so weak like that & I’m strong & handsome & amazing &-

    • @movsesjan1997
      @movsesjan1997 2 года назад +35

      @@dantheman3022 😂😂😂

    • @jaythemachine3845
      @jaythemachine3845 2 года назад +8

      Awwwww I want to thank all of you for complimenting my new 🧢 😃 thank you! 🙂

  • @bogusstudio1028
    @bogusstudio1028 Год назад +17

    She is a reflection, always in sight Of herself, in mirrors, day and night Her ego shines brighter than the sun Making her feel superior, never wrong
    Her words can cut deep, with a sharpened tongue As she manipulates and controls, all day long She drains your energy, with her constant needs And you feel yourself drowning, in her greed
    But hold your head high, with grace and might For you are the one, who will see the light Do not let her words, fill you with despair And hold on to your self-worth, with care
    Set boundaries, with a strong and steady hand And never let her actions, take control of the land Focus on yourself, and all that you hold dear And one day, you'll see, she'll no longer be near
    So rise above it, and stand tall and proud With the strength of your character, and your heart unbound And know that you're not alone, in this fight For you will come out, as the winner, shining bright.

  • @smikey5304
    @smikey5304 2 года назад +3

    My heart aches for you in your time of loss. I will keep you in prayer, asking Spirit to protect and fortify you and your son too during this time of transition. Sending you love and light 💕

  • @ishitajain5315
    @ishitajain5315 4 года назад +3366

    A narcissistic ex lover after I broke up with him once told me-
    "I think we should get back together because rn we're both unhappy but if we get back ik I'll be happy and that's better than the both of us being unhappy"
    That was the most manipulative,scary, infuriating and outrageous thing I'd ever heard, please don't put up with it, don't try to change them, just LEAVE.

    • @yeetsmith1105
      @yeetsmith1105 4 года назад +62

      that literally doesn't sound like any of those things, it just sounds like you are scared to truly recognize how unhappy you are without him

    • @asher-360
      @asher-360 3 года назад +330

      Yeet Smith It shows that the other person only cares for themself

    • @ishitajain5315
      @ishitajain5315 3 года назад +197

      @@nabsterific so a person refusing to stay in a relationship that makes them miserable sounds less technically correct than them staying in it for the other's happiness? What are y'all on?😂
      Oh no wait. Let's just play devil's advocate to be cool rather than have the emotional maturity to understand how relationships work.

    • @csy897
      @csy897 3 года назад +125

      My friend's husband asked, "Why do my children hate me? The neighbors have family fights too, they scream at each other too. I don't gamble, drink, or womanize" LOL He doesn't work, his family has many medical problems that are paid for by his wife and daughter. He uses his family for self-actualization and rages or shuts off when his mistakes are laid bare to him. His son is mentally unsound because of the years of verbal abuse and manipulation. His wife and daughter have anxiety that manifests in physical ailments and sometimes panic attacks. They have no choice but to move out. May be homeless once they bleed out of all savings. And yet, he refuses to divorce his wife so that she can take her fair share and buy another smaller property to live in.
      But at least, she had finally left him so that she and her family can heal.

    • @ishitajain5315
      @ishitajain5315 3 года назад +63

      @@csy897 I hope she and the kids are doing better man. These situations often make the person feel guilty for not helping or supporting their partner when in reality that's just a manipulation. All they really want is a person to baby them instead of taking responsibility. That may be because of their own personal trauma or experiences but it is still quite toxic for people around them

  • @madram4788
    @madram4788 3 года назад +3255

    Legend has it, we all have one person in mind while watching this....

  • @indigoblueskye
    @indigoblueskye Год назад +7

    The reason it's only 1 to 2% of people diagnosed is because they don't go to drs or therapists & get diagnosed in the first place, because that would be admitting there could possibly be anything wrong with them. To them the problem is always other people, never them

  • @colorfulshow33
    @colorfulshow33 Год назад +47

    Whoever is reading this, I pray that whatever you’re growing through gets better and whatever you’re battling with makes your situation better as you’re continuing to be a better person each day. I have faith that you’ll turn out great as your circumstances will change. Have a fantastic day! You got this! 🤗💪🏼❤

  • @ArtandKitchen_
    @ArtandKitchen_ 3 года назад +2688

    narciisism is deeper than just taking lots of selfies. I had narc parents and ex, it's exhausting, confusing, draining, painful being with them. They will drive you crazy.. Save yourselves.

    • @t.s.p1864
      @t.s.p1864 3 года назад +114

      Yeah I can understand how narcissist parent can drain ur soul , they will accuse you for everything , they will abuse (physically, verbally, socially) you for things u haven't even done. My mom and I are facing this everyday, from my dad, he like I am ur dad u can't even buy cloths against my wish and permission, if not then I will abuse you.

    • @salifyanji2893
      @salifyanji2893 3 года назад +25

      @@t.s.p1864 same...your dad and mine would be great friends

    • @Tobias.Harris
      @Tobias.Harris 2 года назад +8

      Fax, my ex was toxic af

    • @sashavjs
      @sashavjs 2 года назад +57

      I was raised under a matriarchal narc - she is a blackhole and my family convened around her to save themselves and scapegoated me for decades. Took me 30 years to understand what was going on. Given that it stated in my childhood it completely stunted my development - I spend so much time feeling anxious and either hiding or diminishing my personality to appease her to ensure my "survival". I couldn't really think of the future or who I wanted to be cos I was always preoccupied with the present. Spent years and years feeling atomized and random - only in the last five years has my life started to make sense since learning what narcissism is. Yes, deeper than bloody selfies! :-)

    • @ravensucks
      @ravensucks 2 года назад +57

      definitely a lot more to it. they never admit that they were wrong, they act the victim, they're really impatient, they'll gaslight you, they always think you owe them something if they've done one act of compassion for you and they'll throw you under the bus for their own needs, in other words, they put themselves first over everyone else's needs.

  • @heathernewman5272
    @heathernewman5272 2 года назад +3905

    It's actually low self esteem covered with bravado. Every moment is spent trying to convince themselves and others that they are better. Lived with one for 13 years. The psychological abuse they put you through is stunning.

    • @billyandrew
      @billyandrew 2 года назад +188

      Spot on.
      They're caricatures of what they think is perfect.
      My stepfather was one and so was my last partner, who never misses an opportunity to tell me dumping her was the biggest mistake of my life, although we get along fine, apart from that one jibe.
      I've healed sufficiently that I can now laugh in her face.
      Why, against all reason and our own personal experience, did we think our love would change them for the better?
      If push came to shove I'd rather spend the rest of my life on my own than get back with her.
      I take solace in the fact she hasn't found a suitable victim in the four years we've been broke up. 😂😂😂

    • @lucyheartfilia2015
      @lucyheartfilia2015 2 года назад +53

      Currently living with one for 20 years and I agree with every word.

    • @TheLace
      @TheLace 2 года назад +20

      @@lucyheartfilia2015 why haven’t you LEFT them?

    • @lucyheartfilia2015
      @lucyheartfilia2015 2 года назад +143

      @@TheLace She's my sister. And I don't give two shits about her but she's harming my parents mentally so I am staying for my parents and when I get married, I'll take my parents with me

    • @andeleon6838
      @andeleon6838 2 года назад +51

      @@lucyheartfilia2015 hang in there babes

  • @Luke-tt3dt
    @Luke-tt3dt 2 года назад +25

    The problem with narcissism is that for for someone to engage with treatment, they have to first acknowledge that there's actually something wrong with them, which most narcissists are unwilling to do

    • @lloydhudson6463
      @lloydhudson6463 3 месяца назад

      Yep, that's definitely the biggest issue for sure.

    • @IschmarVI
      @IschmarVI 14 дней назад +1

      yeah, the problem is that "unwillingness to admit ones own mistakes" is one of the symptoms, making treatment difficult.

  • @KentaroMiyamoto21
    @KentaroMiyamoto21 9 месяцев назад +2

    I deal with this so many times at work.

  • @ariefali5497
    @ariefali5497 4 года назад +3535

    I grew up with a narcissistic father. He once said, "I am right even when I'm wrong".
    I developed a habit to always reflect myself just to make sure I don't turn out like him.
    My growth to seek love, success, or even such as happiness, has been severely stunted.
    For those who suffered as I did, don't give up. You can't save them but you can save yourself.

    • @animeflowers2790
      @animeflowers2790 4 года назад +112

      Thank you for your comment, I'm currently still suffering from his narcissistic behavior and honestly it gets tiring and as you said I tend to always think twice before I think or say anything, I make sure I'm not selfish as much as possible.

    • @ariefali5497
      @ariefali5497 4 года назад +33

      @Kraker Heya Currently, he is by himself in his home. I still keep in touch. I would visit occasionally but couldn't since lockdown.

    • @donaldgarver6594
      @donaldgarver6594 4 года назад +87

      I once said to my Dad, the only thing you taught me is how NOT to raise my children now I'm not proud to have said that to him but I did.

    • @rohinpuvvada4858
      @rohinpuvvada4858 4 года назад +4

      respect m

    • @kimayajadhav5566
      @kimayajadhav5566 4 года назад +4

      I like what you said.

  • @Beau.00
    @Beau.00 2 года назад +5024

    I thought I was a narcissist because I spend a lot of time realising myself and my person. I spend a lot of time analysing how I think and act. I thought this was excessive and became so worried I asked my friends and family if they thought I was narcissistic. One of my friends told me that if you worry about being a narcissist and deem it a negative feature you most probably aren’t one.

    • @megha9789
      @megha9789 2 года назад +253

      Thank you. I do the same thing and was kinda getting worried.

    • @Emoechaiti
      @Emoechaiti 2 года назад +345

      Narcissists lack self analysing and realising ability, but still are selfish to their fullest
      Means they really don't have any idea about their own thoughts and actions and how it affects others because they are always right in their own pov.

    • @tipphilips8252
      @tipphilips8252 2 года назад +68

      Everybody is, it’s measured on a spectrum and it’s obviously human nature. (All things in moderation)

    • @masud4491
      @masud4491 2 года назад +7

      Thanks You cleared by doubt

    • @heymohitk03
      @heymohitk03 2 года назад +12

      Maybe you are a kind of empath

  • @chromiakocosmos8888
    @chromiakocosmos8888 Год назад +4

    I feel like this video glosses over the fact that narcissism impacts the person's life just as it does everyone around them. When you have unrealistic expectations for everything, you will always be disappointed, frustrated, and miserable, no matter how much you paint your image. It also makes it hard to connect emotionally with others, a vital part of being a human being. While you hurt others around you, you hurt yourself too.
    I think the best way to help them is to develop more ways to help them. More treatments, more help. You don't have to be in a relationship with a narcissist to help them.

  • @KiwiImpactSaint
    @KiwiImpactSaint Год назад +3

    ‘Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.’ (Numbers 12:3 probably written by Moses 😂)
    I always giggle when I read this verse of the Bible.

  • @KesselRunner606
    @KesselRunner606 2 года назад +3054

    The most succinct description I like is: A narcissist isn't trying to convince _you_ they're amazing; they're trying to convince _themselves_ they are.

  • @poulomi__hari
    @poulomi__hari 3 года назад +3995

    I remember telling a guy, whom I thought to be narcissistic, that he acted like Narcissus. He asked me who it was and I retold him the myth. Do you know what he said, "Isn't it a good thing?"

    • @mr.makedonija2627
      @mr.makedonija2627 3 года назад +47

      😂

    • @eshacatiis2163
      @eshacatiis2163 3 года назад +96

      It is a good thing but not if its too much so yeah for him it probs aint a good thing

    • @samaahmed4053
      @samaahmed4053 3 года назад +180

      It is a good thing actually from a narcissistic point of view it is like overconfidence it is good until someone destroys it

    • @luisinacasirola
      @luisinacasirola 3 года назад +16

      he was just a psycho

    • @masterclassbeatassclapyour7698
      @masterclassbeatassclapyour7698 3 года назад +79

      Its a good thing tho, People should have a limit to care about everyone else, I used to care about everyone else till I realized how much it damaged me, I care for myself but don’t brag about how good I am

  • @Addiction419
    @Addiction419 Год назад +1

    I literally wanna watch all of ur videos right now THIS IS SO INFORMATIVE

  • @dorian3260
    @dorian3260 10 месяцев назад +16

    As infants, we all begin as narcissists. We need to be taught to care about others.

    • @raristy1
      @raristy1 9 месяцев назад +1

      I agree 1000%

  • @samiraa.8917
    @samiraa.8917 6 лет назад +787

    Self reflection is hard from an unflattering angle.

  • @loveandcupcakes100
    @loveandcupcakes100 4 года назад +3526

    *Me:* I can’t be a narcissist. I’m too insecure and nervous around people.
    *Ted-Ed:* Well, yes, but actually-
    *Me:* [hyperventilates]

    • @rasyarawal06
      @rasyarawal06 3 года назад +58

      Oh my god exactly me🤣

    • @Kiddocarus
      @Kiddocarus 3 года назад +16

      Same but with new people that don't speak my language

    • @fursuitjumpscare
      @fursuitjumpscare 3 года назад +34

      I'm just as scared as you are.

    • @user-kx8pu6ys5i
      @user-kx8pu6ys5i 3 года назад +86

      I'm not narcissistic right? *nervous laugh intensifies*

    • @pinooo5815
      @pinooo5815 3 года назад +26

      I am so scared that people are not gonna like me becuz of reasons like this

  • @omoniyiojo8636
    @omoniyiojo8636 9 месяцев назад

    Really broken down for easy understanding. Thank you for sharing

  • @replaytsl4591
    @replaytsl4591 Год назад +4

    True growth of character and self actualization can only happen when you admit to your flaws and take steps to address them

  • @Emma-te6mi
    @Emma-te6mi 5 лет назад +2266

    My parents put me on a pedestal.
    They never said no to me, had the money to spoil me greatly and never criticized or disciplined me. My whole childhood I was told I was the best, the smartest, the prettiest and so on. As a result I catch narcissistic tendencies in my thinking all the time, like subconsciously thinking I "need" a car and couldn't handle taking the bus from school and back everyday. Luckily I am pretty good person and can think critically about my character, so I don't have narcissistic personalty disorder and recognize that getting an education is much more important than the means of getting to the school.
    But don't spoil your kids like that, they might turn out to be narcissistic assholes.

    • @yellooh
      @yellooh 5 лет назад +59

      I can relate

    • @limpchimp06
      @limpchimp06 5 лет назад +107

      Yellow W a common defense mechanism is to reject every compliment as to not be misconstrued as a narcissist.

    • @LisaMaryification
      @LisaMaryification 5 лет назад +124

      If you don't teach kids the value of hard work they won't learn.

    • @mariykamanil.3011
      @mariykamanil.3011 5 лет назад +29

      Same honestly, my parents never exactly put me on a pedestal but other influences sort of let this happen.

    • @savg2461
      @savg2461 5 лет назад +24

      I can relate too even tho I've just opened my eyes to the fact that i do have some of those traits... The only problem i have is just that I'm self concious way after I do the things and mostly when I'm high so I'm very confused right now haha but I'll figure it out

  • @Tsnore
    @Tsnore 5 лет назад +2419

    I work with a colleague who is not only narcissistic but alcoholic as well. Loads of fun!

  • @KestrelHarper
    @KestrelHarper Год назад +26

    Narcissim can be a real mind trip if you actually get to know one. Somewhat like sociopaths they can act in ways coinciding with empathy or compassion because they recognize the social currency element in such acts, a means of "appearing good" in order to further stroke their inflated self-image. My ex would do things like mentor kids and contribute to charities, but his actual mental investment in those activities was almost non-existent. He did good works because he wanted to be able to say he did good works - which amounted to more gaslighting ammunition when you tried to call him out for bad behavior.

    • @serenabaney997
      @serenabaney997 5 месяцев назад +1

      “Social currency” so true.

    • @purezadaflor
      @purezadaflor Месяц назад

      ​@@serenabaney997exatamente

  • @sanjarvideos7939
    @sanjarvideos7939 7 месяцев назад +1

    For the first time, i read story about narcissism in The Alchemist book and now i know more about that concept narcissism

  • @Dan_Ben_Michael
    @Dan_Ben_Michael 2 года назад +1761

    I’m not a narcissist, it’s just that everybody else sucks and I’m awesome and should be venerated as a living god.

    • @suzannahardjono9951
      @suzannahardjono9951 2 года назад +16

      Becareful using those words, god can see E V E R Y T H I N G.
      also all of us is not always the best, including you sir.

    • @Dan_Ben_Michael
      @Dan_Ben_Michael 2 года назад +151

      @@suzannahardjono9951 Lighten up Suzanna, it’s a joke, you know because narcissists think like that, get it?

    • @sonny_time
      @sonny_time 2 года назад +58

      @@suzannahardjono9951 he’s being sarcastic ya dingus

    • @TinyDollBoy
      @TinyDollBoy 2 года назад +24

      @@suzannahardjono9951 god doesn't exist. Please shut up and stop shoving your religion down everyone's throats we're sick of it. Plus it's a joke, when are you people getting those sticks out your asses?

    • @catgoaaaaaaaaaaa6152
      @catgoaaaaaaaaaaa6152 2 года назад +8

      @@suzannahardjono9951 shut up

  • @EA-mc6xb
    @EA-mc6xb 4 года назад +874

    I was in a long, toxic relationship with a narcissist. It drove me insane, brought me nothing but depression and suicidal thoughts, and all that time I thought that I was the one that wasn't ok or good enough, that I was the problem.
    If you notice that someone around you makes you feel like you're not good enough for them but still keeps exploiting you, leave them and never look back, doesn't matter if it's a friend, relative or significant other. You're better off alone or with people that can empathize with you and don't see you as a second grade person ❤️

    • @imoutbye
      @imoutbye 3 года назад +31

      Same experience here.
      It’s so subtle too.
      If you see red flags, pay attention.
      I’m an empath. I saw red flags. Looked passed them. I’m no longer an empath. It can change you.

    • @Mr.ReanuKeeves
      @Mr.ReanuKeeves 3 года назад +6

      YES! Wow that's exactly what happened to me too! I feel ya.

    • @josephobetta2732
      @josephobetta2732 3 года назад +7

      Seems like you were in a relationship with a psychopath. We'll they're all under the same spectrum

    • @EA-mc6xb
      @EA-mc6xb 3 года назад +4

      @@josephobetta2732 now that almost two years have passed I kinda see that too. It's a long and painful story but this year I got my sweet little revenge hehe

    • @randomcatperson9339
      @randomcatperson9339 3 года назад +7

      Cant exactly walk away from my dad though... :(

  • @binderiyazorigsaikhan3483
    @binderiyazorigsaikhan3483 2 года назад

    when I was in middle school, I was the most narcissist person I know but at that time I didn't realize I was. from this point ,me used to be narcissist really changed my life. Now I don't have BFF or no one to talk to. most of the time I feel so regretful that I used my friends to make myself be the main character and spotlight.

  • @Dorothyredshz
    @Dorothyredshz Год назад +3

    Another component of narcissism.....is having a very deep sense and feelings of depravation . Therefore in turn you feel the people around you owe you something . They will pull from you ..what they feel they need or (owed) and when you reject their needs they come after you especially mentally and psychologically . They drain you spiritually .

  • @batliff
    @batliff 6 лет назад +802

    The hardest truth to accept is the truth about oneself.

    • @harshitaneog3057
      @harshitaneog3057 6 лет назад +7

      James Bradley amen

    • @itsnotmeitsyou4582
      @itsnotmeitsyou4582 6 лет назад +2

      James Bradley although we all know who we really are!! Each person knows him or herself !

    • @wol2231
      @wol2231 6 лет назад +12

      alice p They don't.

    • @silvervixen007
      @silvervixen007 6 лет назад

      So true

    • @RobinOnTour
      @RobinOnTour 5 лет назад +2

      how can you accept yourself if you are a narcisist?

  • @leisafaimalie8746
    @leisafaimalie8746 6 лет назад +788

    "Its like a disease where the sufferers feel pretty good, but the people around them suffer."
    Sounds like my family😅

    • @goneforever7308
      @goneforever7308 6 лет назад +1

      Leisa Faimalie same

    • @whatever6000
      @whatever6000 5 лет назад

      It runs in your blood. 😁

    • @tannermuncey3379
      @tannermuncey3379 5 лет назад

      Lol same

    • @minecraftminertime
      @minecraftminertime 5 лет назад +1

      That's a :( not a :D
      I recommend that your family goes to family therapy to deal with the narcissism.

    • @chelsey1011000
      @chelsey1011000 5 лет назад +1

      Leisa Faimalie I've seen this play out more than once!

  • @doomsday7308
    @doomsday7308 2 года назад +2

    I was skeptical about my dad being a narcissist but now im sure of it, i love him but its the truth

  • @beulahveena
    @beulahveena 2 месяца назад +5

    It's very hard to deal w them tbh. Having a quick,simple convo w them will leave you DEVASTATED!

  • @nicholasvladd
    @nicholasvladd 3 года назад +705

    I'm slowly realising that I've been a narcissist all my life. I strongly believe reflection is the best kind of therapy. Different perspectives certainly help.

    • @shubhadas4072
      @shubhadas4072 2 года назад +98

      I thought so until I realised narcissism as an aspect of our personality is a spectrum. We all fall on it to some degree,. It is possible that you are overestimating the narcissism in you. A full blown narcissist is unlikely to recognize that they are a narcissist apparently.

    • @nickoletteminajarae8136
      @nickoletteminajarae8136 2 года назад +17

      @@shubhadas4072 some of them are more likely to even admit that they're more narcissistic than others

    • @analeticiasantiagodonascim469
      @analeticiasantiagodonascim469 2 года назад +40

      First, it's a good thing that you're willing to admit that. Second, like it was said before, narcissism is a spectrum, so yes, you might be somewhere in it, but if you've realised that on your own and you understand the need for you to address it, then let me tell you you're not a pathological narcissist. That's because they live in the shell, never allowing themselves to look inside themselves. That's actually why they destroy everything around them; since they need constant attention, they get bored easily, and for them being bored is a major issue because they don't want to be left alone with their thoughts and feelings. That's why they're always plotting their next move, be it a career move or just something they can use to cause trouble between two or more people.

    • @rahmahassaf2275
      @rahmahassaf2275 2 года назад +16

      The fact that you're admitting that you are means you're likely not one. Also. Humans are naturally narcissistic, it is when it goes beyond the lines of normal that you are labelled as one

    • @lordapple177
      @lordapple177 2 года назад +18

      help i think im slowly turning into a narcissistic. I want attention but at the same time i dont really want it. There are a bunch of other things but its weird.

  • @waldoperedo7713
    @waldoperedo7713 7 лет назад +2402

    I would like one about why women stay in abusive relationships

    • @shannonbear8807
      @shannonbear8807 7 лет назад +337

      One of the reasons could be Stockholm syndrome

    • @wolfydawolf1296
      @wolfydawolf1296 7 лет назад +37

      Trixi trxi the propaganda meant to help them plays a role in that, like when domestic abuse is portrayed as full on knocking your spouse out cold or something as bad as that then they won't think it's abusive, when statistics show that blah blah only 2 percent of blah get blahed then they'll lose trust in the legal system which makes them not bother to try, and also their spouse can threaten to kill them and their family and other horrible things like that
      notice i used gender neutral pronouns, men can get abused too (someone's gonna spark a flame war and i'm gonna regret this extra little bit but right now that doesn't matter)

    • @glennasmith9382
      @glennasmith9382 7 лет назад +67

      da Wolfy
      Yes men can also be abused, although there are mostly women.
      But yes I totally agree with what you say.

    • @lynkent677
      @lynkent677 7 лет назад +29

      Cognitive Dissonance/Trauma Bonding results in C-PTSD its a head fuck!

    • @schwarzerritter5724
      @schwarzerritter5724 7 лет назад +58

      Dependence.
      Financial dependence when the victim has not learned a job. Social dependence when the spouse has isolated the victim from its friends and family. Emotional dependence when the victim can not imagine a life without the spouse or when the victim already has children it does not want to leave behind.

  • @Anonymous-py1sf
    @Anonymous-py1sf 2 года назад

    There is a person in my life that, even though is not diagnosed by a profissional (I believe not) has every symptom of narcissist personality disorder. Everything I read about that disorder can be found in that same person, out of more than 20 symptoms.
    It takes away the energy, good vibes, positivity of everyone, including theirs.
    It's like everything is about them.
    Some days are worse than others, just like a smoker would act if was not smoking enough.
    Another thing is using 1 or more insecurities (or things they believe you are insecure of) you have to humiliate you at any opportunity (even better if in public with other people).
    If anyone here has to deal with people like this too I just want to say: stay strong!

  • @seanaltz2628
    @seanaltz2628 2 года назад

    As a person who has dealt with a narcisstic "matured" person before
    Yeah uhm..
    It was hard.
    She was a trusted friend of mine but then she was became narcisstic and left a huge impact on my mental health.

  • @5hu5hu85
    @5hu5hu85 2 года назад +1863

    I classify myself as a “narcissist” although im not so proud of my condition. The part where he said “narcissists feel good but the people around them suffer” is absolutely true, i destroyed the best person i ever had in my life and i didnt even know why and how i did it. Seek for help? Impossible i feel too much guilt. Not all narcissists feel good about themselves believe me.

    • @Jaylade
      @Jaylade 2 года назад +78

      too much guilt to go to therapy..?

    • @5hu5hu85
      @5hu5hu85 2 года назад +266

      @@Jaylade Yes. "Therapy"=i need to go to a psychologist or psychiatrist= i need to tell him/her exactly why i belive im a narcissist/ open up about it. Cant really do that rn to be honest

    • @ririchi6062
      @ririchi6062 2 года назад +352

      Well hey! At least you took the first step to betterment - self awareness

    • @5hu5hu85
      @5hu5hu85 2 года назад +58

      @@ririchi6062 Thanks, i guess...

    • @rollerdirvy
      @rollerdirvy 2 года назад +139

      @@5hu5hu85 well why not? Everybody should go to therapy tbh, we all have problems, the sooner you deal with coping with your guilt the better. Though, npd can’t be cured but you can learn to treat it and others around you better. And ofc not all narcissists feel good about themselves, it’s a part of narcissism

  • @barbarajanetnunezsoto8504
    @barbarajanetnunezsoto8504 4 года назад +186

    The worst part of it is that as a narcissist, you legit feel that everything you do is fine or in some way, superior. Even mistakes. And so accepting that is a problem and you have to change its almost imposible because you feel super proud of it

    • @gaoelnlaojehc8913
      @gaoelnlaojehc8913 3 года назад

      Yes.... and it is explained in the video... So....

    • @darlenedeanglis8093
      @darlenedeanglis8093 2 года назад +1

      I'm sorry but I feel narcisst need to go get their head examined they are truly sick mentality I've had too much of that toxicity in my life I can't think of anything good a narcissist does except trying to ruin people's lives because their lives are ruined internally

    • @darlenedeanglis8093
      @darlenedeanglis8093 2 года назад

      As a matter of fact I think this new administration the pretend ministration there's a bunch of narcisst in our government oh my God they're all over the kind of reminds me of cockroaches

  • @kikou_
    @kikou_ 8 месяцев назад +1

    So, Just give yourself an honest reflection and truly caring for others.

  • @BrownGirlsThink
    @BrownGirlsThink 2 года назад +11

    Honestly, I think instead of trying to identify a narcissist in ourselves or others - I just focus on catching it as a sickness of being a part of this society, and just make sure I don't embody these traits and reflect on it if I ever do. As well as identify whether someone around me does and keep my distance if they don't reflect and work to evolve from it. I wish the video would have delved more into vulnerable narcissism.

  • @yko7299
    @yko7299 3 года назад +2318

    So basically everyone is a narcissist lmao except me cause I'm better than anyone.

    • @ilikexu9946
      @ilikexu9946 3 года назад +18

      i love your profile pic (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。

    • @jcamackay101
      @jcamackay101 3 года назад +18

      hhhhhhh
      that's what a sight sounds like

    • @kairon5249
      @kairon5249 3 года назад +115

      actually you are completely wrong. i am literally a god and you are my slaves, im probably the best person i know. and the most humble. i am ont a narccasist

    • @bruh......2005
      @bruh......2005 3 года назад +36

      @@kairon5249 i created God, take that. I'm better then everyone😌✨👑

    • @poressianparrapiotookmyjam4624
      @poressianparrapiotookmyjam4624 3 года назад +7

      @@bruh......2005 what am I a potato?
      I am great namjesus, creator of everything

  • @bjrock1235
    @bjrock1235 5 лет назад +503

    This sounds like a lot of people on the internet

    • @Asia.Persuasia
      @Asia.Persuasia 4 года назад +15

      Sounds like a lot of people in real life.

    • @lezel4swarts
      @lezel4swarts 4 года назад +11

      Alot of people on the internet are actual people

    • @anonymouschannel9543
      @anonymouschannel9543 4 года назад +1

      An example is this: ruclips.net/video/JztHPOr3zzU/видео.html

    • @blankeyed67
      @blankeyed67 4 года назад +8

      Internet provides anonymity. It removes all social constructs and personas we all have to follow, and when it all goes, the true, human nature reveals itself. Some good, some bad. After all, internet is all about words and clicks, not actions with definitive consequences.

    • @politkos5348
      @politkos5348 4 года назад

      Blank Eyed for most people.
      It’s a whole other story when you have a big enough following.

  • @lorenbunda6920
    @lorenbunda6920 Год назад

    Thanks for the information, helps me understand other way way much better now. Makes a great shield for protection.

  • @court6753
    @court6753 4 года назад +773

    My "dad" 100% but one thing is wrong here, the narcissistic doesn't change. They don't have the slightest clue on how to be a normal person.

    • @l-3832
      @l-3832 4 года назад +12

      Courtney G *P R E A C H*

    • @kiporaan
      @kiporaan 4 года назад +95

      They know what they're doing, they don't changejust because they don't want to change. They enjoy their lifestyle and how they are, and think there's nothing actually wrong.

    • @sneha3777
      @sneha3777 4 года назад +41

      My mother too. Our whole family suffers because of her.

    • @zongxina1817
      @zongxina1817 4 года назад +15

      @@sneha3777 Sounds like a perfect Indian or south asian mother

    • @sneha3777
      @sneha3777 4 года назад

      @@zongxina1817 lmao

  • @nomoregrace7783
    @nomoregrace7783 2 года назад +1004

    Being an Asian child with very controlling parents , I am so sure that I am a vulnerable narcissist and it is very hard to go on with life with this condition. I check myself in the mirror like 100 times in the mirror everyday thinking I am very handsome but when I meet someone whom I think is more attractive than me , I feel depressed to the point I won’t eat and sleep . I think it has something to do with my parents comparing me to everyone who is better than me. Narcissistic people are confident they say but I think they are equipped with a lot of insecurities as well. I am not sure but that is my case . I wish to go to therapy but mental illness isn’t a thing here yet.

    • @tzuyoda691
      @tzuyoda691 2 года назад +69

      you should do research before self diagnosing.

    • @ujjeshasrivastava5552
      @ujjeshasrivastava5552 Год назад +40

      Damm stole the words from my mouth

    • @basmaomar1970
      @basmaomar1970 Год назад +22

      the whole world literally make fun of me for not being smart and pretty,but idc i just accept myself for who i’am,even tho my whole family is handsome/pretty and smart,my parents and siblings tell me that they are very embarrassed to be with me bc of my school level i live in the netherlands and my level of school is literally SO low,everyone ask me what level i’am when i’m telling them truth they making fun of me even strangers do that,so i studied hard and school starts getting better and people until now still making fun of my old school level,that’s the time when i realised there is no respect in this world no matter who you are.

    • @basmaomar1970
      @basmaomar1970 Год назад

      the whole world literally make fun of me for not being smart and pretty,but idc i just accept myself for who i’am,even tho my whole family is handsome/pretty and smart,my parents and siblings tell me that they are very embarrassed to be with me bc of my school level i live in the netherlands and my level of school is literally SO low,everyone ask me what level i’am when i’m telling them truth they making fun of me even strangers do that,so i studied hard and school starts getting better and people until now still making fun of my old school level,that’s the time when i realised there is no respect in this world no matter who you are.

    • @stone7761
      @stone7761 Год назад +10

      SAME HERE , BEING AN ASIAN AUTOMATICALLY PUTS YOU INTO THE CATEGORY OF NARCISSIST, I HOPE WE BOTH FEEL GREAT ABOUT OURSELVES AND FEEL LESS VULNERABLE SEEING OTHERS HAPPY.

  • @cryalot378
    @cryalot378 2 года назад +3

    my dad is a vulnerable narcissist, he always needs to be in the center of your attention and when I point out a single flaw in his narrative or speech, he automatically takes it as a threat and personal attack

  • @iamshango3005
    @iamshango3005 Год назад +3

    There is so many narcissistic people out there whether life be a movie or not... It's not good to be a narcissist and you know who you are.

  • @harrysabbat8043
    @harrysabbat8043 4 года назад +1526

    Honestly just don’t give a narcissist any attention it’ll kill them 😂

    • @chrisding1976
      @chrisding1976 4 года назад +94

      Harry Sabbat nah mate they’ll just pester you until you finally give in

    • @hungrypenguino1827
      @hungrypenguino1827 4 года назад +34

      @@chrisding1976 yeah basically, had a guy in class who did this

    • @kaylaesqueda7766
      @kaylaesqueda7766 4 года назад +6

      LOL WUT OMG THATS TRUE 😩 uhhh this person does that to me

    • @belalabusultan5911
      @belalabusultan5911 4 года назад +72

      they develop attention seeking tactics to feed their ego.
      imagine them having an ego demon in their head, that demon feeds on attention, and will go to extreme levels when it's starving.

    • @creativeweirdodiy3105
      @creativeweirdodiy3105 4 года назад +12

      Ahh been in a relationship with a narcissist psychopath.. he made me a joke in whole university.. worst 3 years of my life

  • @Cainfoe
    @Cainfoe 5 лет назад +459

    Dude I'll be honest I thought this was TED talk and clicked bait but then realized it wasn't and your videos are better.
    Best clickbait of my life.

    • @nodozhit
      @nodozhit 4 года назад +3

      Your own good ol' algorithms lead you down this rabbit hole. Big brother is learning about what you gets your attention. But will your ads change?

    • @u13613to
      @u13613to 4 года назад +4

      Clickbaited herself/himself

    • @timewalker6654
      @timewalker6654 4 года назад +9

      Both these channels are part of same organisation

    • @kaelynhall8733
      @kaelynhall8733 4 года назад +1

      R. C. Or themself.

    • @jennyberger8229
      @jennyberger8229 4 года назад +2

      Cainfoe well it’s made by the same people who make TED, i know what you mean but still

  • @oblivian1308
    @oblivian1308 5 месяцев назад

    Best Ted video I've seen this far

  • @dancepiglover
    @dancepiglover 2 года назад +5

    My understanding is that narcissists also cannot see that they are that way, no matter how or how much others try to explain it to them. They simply are incapable of seeing it. But I could be wrong.

  • @steffieswift5484
    @steffieswift5484 6 лет назад +564

    I think my father has this.. 😑 He always thinks he's right and he becomes aggressive when someone disagree with him even though he's the one who's wrong 😒

    • @arxsyn
      @arxsyn 5 лет назад +32

      Steffie Swift The day Trump reversed his unpopular policy of taking children away from their illegal immigrants, Ivanka merely congratulated and thanked him. There was a bit of an uproar around that because she didn't call him out on it.
      Notice she would never disparage or criticize him in public. I assume she does that in private with him as well... Because you can never confront or argue with a Narcissist. It's a fool's errand. They will never change and will never admit fault or take responsibly for anything they've done

    • @realitypolice470
      @realitypolice470 5 лет назад +28

      Thats called stubborness.

    • @greysonsmith2130
      @greysonsmith2130 5 лет назад +1

      Steffie Swift this is so true

    • @pavitra3416
      @pavitra3416 5 лет назад +16

      Then that would mean 80% of the father's in the world have NPD. Lol

    • @rileyg.3405
      @rileyg.3405 5 лет назад +1

      My dad is this

  • @NinaGreythe3d
    @NinaGreythe3d 7 лет назад +469

    my mother is a narcissist and a horrible human being honestly I've tried many ways to help her cause she has affected me so badly but the problem she thinks she's normal and doesn't need any help that it's the other way around and I should be the one getting help at this point I don't even know what to do with my life she's always there to make me feel like shit no matter how good I do in life and I've even moved thousands of miles away and she's still harassing me and sending me horrible messages I can't live my life normally anymore I am so afraid I'll end up like her help

    • @NinaGreythe3d
      @NinaGreythe3d 7 лет назад +70

      plus she's religious af and eveytime I tell her to go see a therapist she says that God is the only one she'll talk to that why I fucking hate religions

    • @dralberthofmann
      @dralberthofmann 7 лет назад +45

      Sarahhh You can't help her, you can only help yourself. You've got to remove yourself from her sphere of influence. Also try some counseling and/or group therapy.

    • @brisamargutierrezparra2517
      @brisamargutierrezparra2517 7 лет назад +14

      I feel sorry for you

    • @Reenzia
      @Reenzia 7 лет назад +17

      I experience this too with my sister. My dad, my brother and me think the same (my mother have dementia, always forget thing) we planned to bring her to see psychiatrist but she immediately got angry and offended. She say we take her to psychiatrist because want her personality be changed.

    • @ChibiChidorii
      @ChibiChidorii 7 лет назад +36

      i think my brother is too?? He has LITERALLY (not an exaggeration but as in that he actually said this) that we are inferior to him. That he deserves everything because he is doing good in medicine school (which kind of scares me tbh), he HAS said he has the right to eat all the food in the house or play electric guitar at 2 in the morning because of his good grades and because he's the best musician/most inteligent person he knows. He claims knowing more than his teachers and is obsessed with correcting people even if he contradicts himself. He even once said he had perfectioned Nietzsche's existencialist theories and HE should be a philosopher, instead of everyone that actually studies philosophy.
      he's only 19. He thinks he is a genius. He is racist. He is an atheist that claims WE fucked up his life for being christian (even thought im agnostic but he says I'm a liar and thinks he knows better??) He even says everyone HATES him (which is not true) because he's better that everyone.

  • @kamerondonaldson5976
    @kamerondonaldson5976 Год назад

    in my case, not only was i prejudiced against any suggestion that i was anything short of perfect, but i also was inconsiderate of the effects my actions had on the world around me. so basically i relied on those same people to make the perfect image of me that i want and was unable to communicate what that looked like.

  • @BringBackCyParkVendingMachines
    @BringBackCyParkVendingMachines 7 лет назад +1351

    Before I watch the video, I'm going to call that there are going to be comments about Donald Trump.

    • @BringBackCyParkVendingMachines
      @BringBackCyParkVendingMachines 7 лет назад +63

      Called it

    • @conchitareyes790
      @conchitareyes790 7 лет назад +15

      Patricia, did you think Trump was a saint; and we needed to talk about saints? Trump is a Narcissist. Period !

    • @paul2413
      @paul2413 7 лет назад +14

      +Conchita Reyes wtf are you on about

    • @mahmoudelsharawy5405
      @mahmoudelsharawy5405 7 лет назад +9

      Before I read this comment, I am going to call that there is going to be someone acting as if they predicted the contents of the video.

    • @BringBackCyParkVendingMachines
      @BringBackCyParkVendingMachines 7 лет назад

      Mahmoud Elsharawy I wasn't predicting the contents of the video lmao 😂😂 I mean, the title is pretty self explanatory: What is Narcissism? I simply predicted the contents outside the video; the comments. And I did predict, I didn't read the comments and then made a bullshit statement about predictions. Lmao, don't try to be a smartass not to be mean or anything...

  • @mastertrollmind
    @mastertrollmind 4 года назад +577

    Only 1-2 % of the population? I swear I can meet one 3 steps walking out of my door

    • @chrisding1976
      @chrisding1976 4 года назад +35

      WW Alex it’s hundreds of millions of people, so yeah a lot of people. It just sounds low, but in reality it’s a lot. Just like if a plane had a 1-2% chance of crashing then there would be a crash or two a day. No one would ride airplanes because they were too dangerous.

    • @kimia1664
      @kimia1664 4 года назад +41

      WW Alex Only 1-2% of the human population have “narcissistic personality disorder” which is like the worst, most intense, and most dangerous type of it. But narcissism is really on a spectrum and there are many variations and extents of it. In general, the figures for people with narcissistic traits go up to 25%, which is 1 in every 4 people.

    • @belalabusultan5911
      @belalabusultan5911 4 года назад +6

      1.5% psychopaths are narcissist, 10% sociopath are narcissist, and there are other types of narcissists some of them are not that harmful, internet psychological quizzes show me that I have what is called (positive narcissism) which is not even an issue, like I love myself, my looks, and stuff like that, but I don't think people owe me anything, just don't harm me and I'll ignore you, be nice to me and I'll be nice to you, I am cuter than you tho :P

    • @iantruong547
      @iantruong547 4 года назад

      Is there a mirror there?

    • @orlageoghegan7747
      @orlageoghegan7747 4 года назад

      Population is growing exponentially

  • @58christiansful
    @58christiansful Год назад

    The constant fault-finding, aggression, anger that escalates into terrifying rages at the drop of a hat - and at the most ridiculous pretexts- , the boasting, the dramatizing and grandiosity, the exaggerations and the lies, the self-promoting, the manipulation, nagging, controlling, the suspiciousness, the hyper-sensitivity, the paranoia, the wild accusations, the twisting of situations to serve his purpose or to make a point, the put-downs, the contemptuous dismissals - am I missing something?
    That was my brother before I cut him off - no contact for what is now a year and a half. Tho he continues to email every now and then as tho nothing has happened - love bombing? - usually sending me info about things he knows I am interested in. But he used to make me feel physically sick - in addition to depressed and anxious. It certainly helps that we live in different countries. He happens to be a brilliant pianist and composer, clearly managing to have his circle of admirers - I don’t know how - but no lasting relationships. He was wonderful as a teenager - then something happened and he went off. I think operating in a highly competitive field - classical music at high-school and conservatory levels - had something to do with it.
    He bullied our parents till they died. (Father was actually very much the same - only at a lower level of talent and intelligence.) My brother regards himself as a devout Christian and parades the fact, praying and conducting rituals. It really beggars belief. I often think he needs either a psychiatrist or an exorcist - or both. Of course he would be mortally offended should the suggestion be made.

  • @MadhuSingh-wb7lb
    @MadhuSingh-wb7lb Месяц назад

    I thought I was a narcissist because I care a lot about myself but thanks for the video you made me clear that I'm not narcissist but just treating myself better than before thank you so much 💝

  • @Lousiale1
    @Lousiale1 4 года назад +3636

    Q: What is NARCISSISM?
    A: All "Instagram Models"

    • @blu3__214
      @blu3__214 4 года назад +13

      True lulW

    • @binghellwagner7623
      @binghellwagner7623 4 года назад +37

      Lou Cof , too much self love ..

    • @monicalinette8191
      @monicalinette8191 4 года назад +88

      Lou Cof it’s actually much more nuanced and dangerous than someone who takes selfies too often.

    • @GalacticEgg
      @GalacticEgg 4 года назад +23

      @@monicalinette8191 nah that's a pretty good sign

    • @glenphillips9068
      @glenphillips9068 4 года назад +1

      Some ended up on drug charges .

  • @EvieStevie-Ahgase
    @EvieStevie-Ahgase 5 лет назад +153

    "Fabulous party, you know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself."

  • @JM-xy2nl
    @JM-xy2nl 2 года назад

    this taught me so much about my father

  • @kpopaddict._.
    @kpopaddict._. 2 года назад

    It's very helpful!! It help me trying to figure out the the lyrics, "Narcissistic, my god I love it" ment now I get it!!

  • @lizvlx
    @lizvlx 7 лет назад +164

    there is a lot missing in here regarding narcissistic personality disorder:
    1. if you deny a narcissist his/her wishes, they can hurt tremendously - and this will lead to them wanting to strike back - a mere "no, i dont wanna go an a walk with you now" can lead them into a downward spiral of negative thoughts which they will try to counter with even more grandiose ideas about themselves.
    2. the are often very depressed either coz they notice that others dont get their awesomeness, or because they themselves can not ever reach the level of perfection they feel they would need to reach to be as worthy as they want (need) to be.
    3. as they despise ppl who are not outstanding, they can hate themselves big time when they make mistakes, and again counteract with more grandiose ideas.
    4. they really have very little to no emotional empathy (just like a psychopath), but do possess rational empathy (also like a psychopath) - which is nothing but being good at understanding what motivates ppl and they use it only to maliciously manipulate ppl.
    5. they have a a deformed or no personality core at all. as in, they dont really exist as individuals.

    • @Carrotqween
      @Carrotqween 6 лет назад +6

      good comments
      what do you mean when you say that they don't really exist as individuals, can you expand on that?

    • @goroakechi3593
      @goroakechi3593 6 лет назад +18

      Chad Thundercock no sense of self, as in they are shallow people with little to no personality whatsoever/ prone to being unpredictable

    • @bishal1125
      @bishal1125 6 лет назад +6

      lizvlx thanks bro...that would be me

    • @14thsomebodyelse
      @14thsomebodyelse 6 лет назад

      İ have it then :(

    • @dashakocisova9041
      @dashakocisova9041 6 лет назад +3

      "they have a a deformed or no personality core at all. as in, they dont really exist as individuals." I found that statement very interesting. Would love to hear more of your thoughts on that!

  • @tessa4181
    @tessa4181 4 года назад +3419

    1:31 I’m screaming that they used trump as the example😂

    • @belalabusultan5911
      @belalabusultan5911 4 года назад +217

      Trump Supporter : I like him because he is strong.
      translation : he shows traits of dominance, which I see as strength.

    • @therealamericanchristian6550
      @therealamericanchristian6550 4 года назад +41

      Belal Abu Sultan Dominating politics so people can support them is pretty much the goal of politics. So, I don’t get what’s bad.

    • @therealamericanchristian6550
      @therealamericanchristian6550 4 года назад +22

      @@justine8558 It's a pseudonym that I gave myself. Also, how does it scream "narcissism"? Because you don't like what I said, or because of the "Real", or "Christian" part? You're so full of yourself, it's nearly toxic.

    • @therealamericanchristian6550
      @therealamericanchristian6550 4 года назад +14

      justine Wow, just wow. I’m insecure even though you replied to ME that I’m narcissistic because of my name. You’re the one who insulted people first, not me. Get off your high horse.

    • @Lucien_M
      @Lucien_M 4 года назад +3

      @@belalabusultan5911 "Trump is a man's man"

  • @husseinkaafarani6106
    @husseinkaafarani6106 2 года назад +2

    I’m a very humble person and that’s one of my many great traits

  • @kenbernal8245
    @kenbernal8245 Год назад +4

    id rather be humble and down to earth than to be narcissist, its too toxic for my character

    • @kylesimone6140
      @kylesimone6140 Год назад

      same, sounds like to much work to constantly elevate your self.

  • @notoriusbookworm48
    @notoriusbookworm48 2 года назад +221

    "If Narcissus had a brother named Social Anxietus, he would get nervous whenever people look at him, internally die at the sight of his reflection, and then blame himself for dying."
    -JaidenAnimations, "Anxiety" (I think)

  • @mochiattoart514
    @mochiattoart514 4 года назад +291

    "You don't have to be a narcissist if you love yourself"

    • @spr15
      @spr15 4 года назад +65

      Loving yourself is good, but loving yourself without recognizing your imperfections or loving yourself to ignore your weaknesses or loving yourself to show others low is not right.

    • @blankearth5840
      @blankearth5840 4 года назад +19

      Unconditional self love is not narcissism

    • @anigoel6189
      @anigoel6189 4 года назад +8

      user5315qwerty yay thanks I was getting worried like what if I am narcissist I mean I love myself but as you replied I don’t think I am prefect and even though for some weird reason I love attention and admiration I know my weaknesses and try to keep that ego small

    • @spr15
      @spr15 4 года назад +4

      @@anigoel6189 I am not an expert 🙈 but glad I could make some sense. Your words sounded very genuine about yourself.
      I have had personal (very hard) experience with narcissists , thus these observations.

    • @TrillShvt
      @TrillShvt 4 года назад +2

      user5315qwerty you worded this so perfectly. Thank you

  • @Janabrook
    @Janabrook 8 месяцев назад +1

    When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it's not personal. "It isn't personal" is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth.
    Narcissists don't know how to love or be a friend; they can't afford to spare the energy to learn, because they're always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don't understand the concept - they can't feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing.
    They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it's no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old.
    None of this is personal. They're too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn't know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it's from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection.Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions.Cheating is a choice and there's simply a lot of ignorance in the process..Thank you so much for helping me out cyberalbert4@gmail. com.Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,..thank you very much..

  • @julianosvonskingrad7009
    @julianosvonskingrad7009 Год назад +1

    I am really unsecure about myself. I have to admit I share a lot of traits with a narcissist. School or university - nothing was really complicated. I started to see myself as very smart. A lot of girls and guys flirt with me. I started to see myself as handsome. I started working in a completely different field compared to my university degree - and my work was described as brilliant. I started to see myself as very competent. I might admit at this point: I am a huge fan of myself. Totally contrary, I used a lot of my free time to help people in school. To motivate friends to flirt with a person they liked. Or to help coworkers with different tasks. But on the other hand I started to see myself as "The Emperor" in my environment. The centerpiece. But that also meant for me: Being the one responsible for keeping things together, defuse conflicts and to make sure no one is left behind. What am I?

  • @draganie
    @draganie 2 года назад +178

    I was raised by a vulnerable narcissist who brought me up to be obsessed with him-as a teenager I talked to my friends about him and his opinions about different subjects instead of my own. He was also a heavy gaslighter and made me think I was crazy and that everything that made me unhappy or went wrong was my fault; and I believed it until I finally was able to question things at the age of thirty. It took three years after that and a lot of help from friends before I was brave and mentally healthy enough to to leave him and move out.

    • @claraestrada5080
      @claraestrada5080 2 года назад +13

      damn, thats rough. i dated a vulnerable narcissist for around 7 years and what most ppl dont seem to realize about that type of naricssist, is that they almost seem "normal" but are really good at putting other ppl down (through gaslighting and genral manipulation) to make themselves feel better.
      gratz on being able to see what was going on and moving out. its often the hardest step, but the best one too

    • @derrickrr5516
      @derrickrr5516 2 года назад +8

      That’s not fair at all. I wish life had been kinder to you. I’m glad you are free now but I’m guessing it’s still really hard. Keep a strong support system and you’ll be ok.

    • @kyrab7914
      @kyrab7914 Год назад +4

      Congratulations on getting out

  • @luludaniels7346
    @luludaniels7346 6 лет назад +1676

    Jake Paul and Logan Paul are definitely Narcissistic

    • @superandresr
      @superandresr 6 лет назад +136

      More like D I C K H E A D S

    • @kalyanbv1000
      @kalyanbv1000 5 лет назад +10

      hahahahha

    • @minecraftminertime
      @minecraftminertime 5 лет назад +65

      BleuHãwaii you probably don't even know what autism is. Jake and Logan Paul are closer to narcissists. Autism is completely different from what most people think it is. Narcissism is being self-centered and not caring about others, not autism.

    • @whyitsucksguyspart186
      @whyitsucksguyspart186 5 лет назад +10

      MischievousMoo naw they're just actors

    • @Rana-yk9sh
      @Rana-yk9sh 5 лет назад +8

      no they're just really annoying and attention seeking but they Could be