How Long Does It Take To Get Over A Break Up?
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- Опубликовано: 19 окт 2024
- Gabe tries to process their broken engagement.
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Its been years and I could still listen to the two of you forever
Same!
sameee
Alison is such a great therapist; gets right to the heart of the issue with gentleness and humor.
At 2:16 you really start talking with your hand, and the dog constantly is thinking that you’re about to pet its stomach… But then you don’t. And Every time you swoosh your hand down it closes it’s eyes like, “ yes this is it!!” 🥹
Lol but then you don’t pet it’s tummy😮 😂😂😂
At 2:33 it’s sssooo happy
Allison I know you decided not to go down this route but you would be SUCH a good therapist! Absolute friendship goals, both of you, from the beginning. We love you, you'll get through this Gabe.
If someone time traveled from watching your videos circa 2018 to minute 6 of this video they might die of emotional whiplash. I love you two
I was with my ex for 8 years so when my 19 y/o cat was dying I called him so he could visit and say goodbye. It was weird. Not bad. But super weird.
I wanted to call my ex when my foster dog was getting adopted out of state. I didn’t. We both loved her.
video I needed today. going through my first traumatic breakup. I feel incredibly lucky because I work from home so I just cry and try to take care of myself all day.
Ugh yeah it can take so long. There is still stuff I haven't fully processed. It took me so long to accept that they are neither completely good nor completely bad. They are both and the relationship was both. I was wondering how much of the bad was intentional for a long time. Very hard to let go of.
This episode hits hard. Had my first heartbreak last year and this video really speaks to all those feelings. Love what they have to say
Alison being the broken engagement sempai guiding Gabe
Same Gabe. Cryin’ over hats over here
I find the artifacts, cried over a hat, cursed the space that I needed!
I’m 22 and went through my first big breakup 6 months ago (which I instigated!) and I still find myself getting so sad. So many odd little things remind me of him. Going skating, playing pool with friends, grabbing a shawarma, wearing a particular sweater, watching a movie we’d seen together, any career success I have to celebrate on my own, my upcoming graduation… it all makes me cry because I used to be happier. I don’t regret the breakup so much as I regret not truly appreciating what I had until it was over. Really appreciate Gabe’s perspective here cause I see a lot of my experiences reflected
Not to pull attention from y’all on your own video or anything, but I love how the dog was just laying there completely unbothered throughout the entire video. 😂😂😂❤
I’m so bad that I was even avoiding simply WATCHING this video lmaoo
I feel you Gabe: I’m at 2.5 years and I’m still working through it
Yea coming out of survival mode will do that to ya
Are the recent intros Allison’s exercises in getting comfortable with lying, or just mini-pranks from Allison 🤣
As usual, Allison brings up almost everything that I would have said in a similar conversation. :D
I agree that it's crucial to process your emotions; suppressing them only 1) makes you tired, 'cause holding back a flood takes a lot of energy, and 2) delays them inevitably coming out anyway, potentially in stronger or more volatile ways than if they had been felt right away.
Also agree that it's very important to get to the place of being able to hold 'contradictory' truths at once. This switching back and forth between "the whole relationship was trash" and "actually i've made a terrible mistake, it was wonderful oh god" is our way of trying to protect ourselves, of craving certainty in an unpredictable world, of wanting clear roles (villain vs. victim) and clear emotions that we know what to do with (e.g. anger or self-wallowing, respectively). It's a way to distance ourselves from what we're actually feeling, a way to avoid facing the complicated, messy truths (e.g."I miss them AND I'm glad that it's over" or "my parents did the best they could AND i deserved better", or even "they did some things wrong AND i did some things wrong too AND we both did a bunch of things right as well"). It's hard, but it is very possible to get to a place of true clarity and acceptance, where you can look back fondly on the good times and grieve for the less good times, or things that you thought would be coming that never happened.
I will say, I think it's strange when people try to erase evidence of past relationships from their lives, or specifically try not to think about them, as if they somehow stop mattering the moment you get into a new relationsip. In my view, it's all a part of your history, a chapter in the book of your growth, and by trying to pretend it doesn't exist or matter, at best you're rejecting the part of yourself that lived that life and made those choices, and at worst you're actively avoiding processing the emotions that you have around that relationship, because usually if something keeps coming up in your thoughts, there's something to be dealt with there. If you're actually over something, it doesn't take effort to not think about it, you just don't happen to think about it. And when you do, because something reminds you of it, there's not an immediate bodily reaction, or an emotional jolt; you simply have the thought, maybe linger on it a bit, and then move on with your day.
I'm glad that the things that were once so painful are no longer so, or at least to a much lesser degree. I'm glad I am able to dwell on the good parts as well as the bad, when once I could hardly stand to think about it at all. I'm glad I have memories of the people who are no longer in my life, and of the person I was when they were. I'm glad that I learned the lessons I did from those relationships and their endings, and I'm glad I can carry those lessons with me as I move forward in my life.
I guess this all boils down to: FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, PEOPLE!
I needed their guidance fr.
This is such a good conversation and i loved it and needed it. Thank you ❤
I have so many things to say but I'll try to keep it short 💓💓 I feel you so much Gabe. Thank you for putting words to my thoughts and feelings. I also had an unbelievably painful breakup in November 2022 and I'm still not okay. Honestly unsure if I ever will be but I try to remind myself that I have come a long way since I how I was feeling then and you probably have too Gabe. My breakup then was similar to Allison's so I relate to both of yous in this conversation. Sending lots of hugs your way. Will be saving the video to watch again, I'm so thankful for yous talking about this.
I think Allison would have been an amazing therapist.
I thought she was going to be?
@@Rawr98 That was her initial goal, but partway through her studies she decided she didn't wanna do that after all and switched to a more clinical version of her program that didn't include any of the practical training/experience that a therapist must get in order to become licensed.
so still it hasn't been a year and a half... :P
I know I was like that's 1 year & 2 months 😂
I needed this video so much, broke up with my ex 4 years ago, entered into therapy a year later and it took a year and a half of therapy to realise I hadn't emotionally dealt with the break up, still sorting through it now and it's nice to know this kind of delayed reaction isnt just me 😂😅
Phantom is the cutest baby!!!!
it's been years and of course jbu has transitioned
It's nice hearing from yall
No one asked but my weirdest breakup was relationship age 16-18, at some point in the first 6 months of dating he made it known that we wouldn’t be staying together for uni (thank GOD). So even though the last few months we barely saw each other and didn’t like each other lol, it was like “well, the relationship deadline is the end of our exams so might as well wait until then to officially break up!” As if we were contractually obliged
I love you guys, you're always there for me when I don't even know I need it
love the free therapy!! 💖
It must be so nice to be able to run to your parents or any safe space like that to feel your feelings after such a big change in life.
Woooooooooow.
The wall is undefeated, gentlemen.
This dog is hilarious. Is Sugar still around?!
yep
Yes Gabe let yourself feel ❤ it’s okay ❤
you guys keep edging new mics
It’s been a little over a year since I left a bad situation and a few days ago I randomly started missing riding around in the car listening to music with her but it’s so over and so worth it
the dogggg 2:20 so fuckin funny 😭
I'm very curious what Gabe looks like in a button down tee and slacks. Could that happen at some point in these weekly videos?
Love you both
Thank you.
this is my comfort show
i had to leave a four year long relationship in March 2022, and in the months afterward my ex worked very hard to make my life hell on multiple fronts, convincing lots of my "friends" to ice me out and extorting my mom for a new car. I'm still not over it all, and after that kind of financial abuse I don't know if I'll trust anyone the same way again. Last week they messaged me again, and for the first time I only cried once when I blocked them. lol this comment sounds so rough but I guess I just wanna put out there that as hellishly slow as it is, healing does happen. transmascs with financially abusive transmasc exes woo hoo~ one day we will cry less
This video was so helpful. Thank you
I needed this I just broke up w my bf and i just feel numb. This came out of nowhere we were fine until we werent and im grieving so hard. He was my best friend , my only support system and now I have to cut him off completely. That is hard. Im relieved of some things I wont have to deal w anymore since I don't feel like my real person would do those things but man I hurt even thinking about him w someone else n him not being a part of my day anymore.
My ex wasnt a bad person sndnhe treated me the best out of all my exes. I'm just tired of this
I just hate the crying the depression and feeling like my chest is a hole
“But one time it was really nice for 5 hours two years ago” yes, this is me!!!! I’m so glad I’m not alone, still working on this black and white thinking 😭
I love you more and more with each episode! ♥
Same 💓💓
Gotta process those feelings
Look at where “Gabe” is holding the mic.
Get THAT ON A SHirt! To be afraid of your feelings is a terrible place to be
Despite the tough topics today, Phantom is having a great time!
Listening to you guys but watching the dog the whole time 👍👍👍
Forever!
Phantom loves Allison
shadow omg 😂
The impact of your heartbreak and broken relationships stick with you for life
Yeah 💓💓💓
I can't stop obsessing about my breakup and my ex, it was my first relationship and I am a obsessive person. Maybe I should just ignore it like Gabe 😂
❤ love you guys
I think it’s also important to remember that testosterone makes it really hard to cry often or even when you both want and need to. It’s not (only) a gender stereotype it’s hormonal. So you have to let stuff out when you can. And use other methods to process. Get a tattoo about it. Scream to a song in your car. There’s no rush and there’s no pressure to move on. We can only move through.
Taylor Swift is suing the college kid who tracked her flight patterns (to figure out her carbon footprint).
❤❤❤
Wait a minute....JBU is still around? I stopped receiving notifications 😢
💜🥰💜
Omg hi
It's been a while since I've watched your videos. I understand Gaby's feelings and thought process. Blocking things out. It's great that you're in therapy. I was for a little bit too. But I'm telling you with 100% sincerity, nothing will help you more than reading the Bible. I know that sounds like a crazy suggestion, but it will change your life. Please don't knock it until you try it. Love to both of you.
Just so you are aware, that would be Gabe’s dead name.
They go by Gabe now :)
I just finished wathing an old video of you two and damn. Seems like you guys literally hit a wall. I guess thats what feminism does to people 😢
Allison followed the "trad" path and found a husband, and she's happier than she's ever been. Gabe underwent a medical procedure and continues to live a "feminist" lifestyle and he's miserable. Gabe has pretty much relegated himself to dating in California, where most people aren't "trad." How's that feminism working out?
phantom 🥹
I was legitimately listening to every word that was being said but looking at Phantom the whole time! So adorable!!! ❤😊