I Hate Myself | Spoken Word Poetry
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- Опубликовано: 26 сен 2015
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- Slam Poem -
I hate myself - I hate my face, my body, the environment that I’m in.
I’m filled with so much hate I don’t even know what to do with it.
I see pictures in magazines and when I look back at myself, I no longer like what I see.
See they don’t show you the stretch marks, split ends and gap teeth - they don’t represent people like you and me.
The irony when we're forced down messages such as ‘be yourself’ by celebrities.
When they know full well that they’re partially to blame for all our insecurities.
Since day one we've been told to do this, say that and if I wear this then a guy might just like me.
Running my confidence to the ground.
To this day I can’t hold a conversation without saying the word sorry.
Like 15 gazillion times, to say that I’m apologizing for just being me.
Some days I stay up awake at night and the silence is so loud it overwhelms me,
I can’t sleep or eat.
Filled with so much negativity til negativity became me.
But I lie and carry on smiling cos that’s the person I want to be -
so happy, joyful and carefree.
People say just be confident - they don’t understand that you get tired, you get weak.
I just need you to see that I’m filled with self hate and it consumes me.
Because i wasn’t brought up to be proud of myself and love who I am, No I was told there were expectations and limitations and fought for every can’t to be a can.
So filled with hate I suffocate, this is my fate…I tell myself as I try to pick myself up but it’s too late.
I don’t want compliments or attention from passers by, I crave real love, not likes, from a social networking website.
You know you start to create this self image that is so perfect, flawless and happy cos you think that that’s what is right. Wrong. See you can’t fill a void with lies, you can’t solve pain with short highs so you resort to late night cries and you wonder why? Sigh.
For the longest time I would blame my environment, the media, my peers - And it took me years. To see that it’s not you, it’s me.
If I want to change how I feel I have to start from within. Look into my soul, what’s beneath the skin.
Cos the solution isn’t external don’t you see, you can’t solve your problems from what you see on your phone screen.
The answer comes from who you are deep inside. All those thoughts and feelings you tried so desperately to hide.
I am capable of so much more and I don’t need to hear that from you cos I know it for me.
See when you open your mind you start to see things clearly - your potential, ambitions and dreams, - you become free.
So for the first time in a long time I’m just going to let myself breathe - Today, I choose me. 
Кино
This is so me, i pretend to be happy to hope that it makes me happy
+A Winning Just please don't say that, she/he needs help. Depression is a mental illness and just "trying enough" isn't enough. I know because I have the same thing actually....😂 so don't say that I know nothing. It just isn't enough.
I believe in God but you're just insane.🙈When people have a real illness "just trying enough" doesn't work. That's just really unrespectful... I admit that I'm negative very often but in that comment there was nothing negative. I was just telling the truth that she would seek help.
guys im not depressed i had i rough week when i posted that
ikr u always have to put on an act to everyone and its tireing
People don't understand that it's a journey to pretend till it becomes real :(:
"So filled with self hate I suffocate"
Josie Hofmeister correction: selfhated. U r beautiful.
Why do you hate yourself?
If you hate yourself u will feel like shit. thats what happens to everyone that hates self, and its a good thing in my opinion.
Toylo you won't understand, no one can.
Self hate is litteraly the same as self destruction and self hate = suffering. its part of the learning of the soul to suffer, until you love yourself. i think i understand it more than u mate
Love how raw and real this is
If you enjoy spoken word, please check out my stuff and let me know what you think! :)
I know
Things I first noticed/ heard about you
1: your voice is so cute
2: She beautiful
3:She looks brave
4: I love her smile
5: she's strong
This is what I thought about you in the first 5 seconds off the video
Hi
I was just thinking what a prenentious bitch
Mobutu Obama woh that’s a bit rude
It's not hate but this is inside her instead of the outside. She is still very beautiful,brave etc but everyone has faults and complications sadly. The cover is not always what the story means.
“So for the first time in a long time, I am just gonna let myself breathe”
👏👏👏👏 It sounds like a great burden has been lifted amazing line
Like you are finally free
GOD HER ACCENT, GORGEOUS
If you enjoy spoken word, please check out my stuff and let me know what you think! :)
What accent
Taz's, I think.
@@thatonebean1621 her british accent
@@thatonebean1621 Cardiff I think
YOUR VOICE IS SO CUTE
I know! It's so soothing
Thank you
Cute is not a solution.
or the problem she is referring too.
i could listen to her for dayz
i'm crying not because i'm sad, but because i finally found words for what i'm feeling. thank you.
Do you listen to Sleeping At Last? Because if you felt that way, I think their music could change your life as much as it changed mine.
I know what you mean. People think I'm perfect, but I hate when they say that. I don't know what to do but everyone tries to help me. But I agree with u😔
EXACTLY😭
Everyone says: "Be who you are, Don't care about other people's opinions, Ignore them." But they don't really know how it feels to be insecure. You can't just ignore what they say. Because you want to be acceptable. Every word they say about your looks hurts you like a bullet. You feel like you aren't enough for anyone. You get ashamed next to all of those popular skinny girls. You can't like yourself even if you try. You look in the mirror and you try to find something beautiful. You look everywhere, but you just can't find it. Every part of you wants to change. You want to be prettier, skinnier, more popular, that you forget who you really are. You remember those days where you were happy. Like when you were a child, you had so much fun, you were so happy, that you really didn't care about anything negative. You wish to be like that again. But it just won't come back. You wanted to change everything about yourself. You don't know who you really are anymore. You remember the day where you looked in the mirror saying: "I hate myself". Now you are trying to find the real you by looking at the mirror. You look everywhere, but you just can't find it...
(I just wrote this little poem.It's not that good, but I still hope you understand the message.❤)
Thank you for this💛
It's perfect thank you so much
That poem is amazing❤!!i hope you can learn to love yourself,i have never seen you but i know you're beautiful through your speech💫❤
It's amazing thank you
Can relate it soo much
_but i lie and carry on smiling because that’s the person i want to be._
the way you say "I choose me" at the end is Oscar worthy
The first thing I noticed about Taz
“She’s strong “
Here after she loves herself :)
we dont know that yet
she may seem happy
but we don't know
she could still be. amask in front of others
This is amazing, I cried. I can relate so much..
Yeah me too...
I cried.
Cause i hate everything about me, I was born like this and I can't change it. I don't have all the "beauty canons" like high cheekbones, or cute nose, sharp jawline.. I just wanted one but I have none and I feel like I'm never getting over this.
And I pretend to not care but I cry everyday and I feel so fucking pathetic
Your not perfect I am not either what matters is your heart keep that clean and hunny you won't need that beauty because when you have that, that's enough, you don't need need beauty or should I say the opinion of society if you are born with a beautiful heart, the word perfect doesn't exist when it comes to appearance because models become so called beautiful after they get plastic surgery or when they might just be born with that appearance but if you look deep down under the skin where the heart lies, it's dark, changing yourself for societys expectations, that hurts not only that but those models will most likely not have a beautiful heart. So it doesn't matter if you don't have those features because if you look closely perfect dosen't exist.
M the complete opposite , in ly country , girls with cute bubbly cheeks and a chubby face are the most popular . M often bodyshamed for being too bony or having a sharp jawline and high cheekbones . Its so mad
Same. I hate myself. It sucks living with myself.
@@deepar4010 you're special and unique. Love yourself because nobody is like you. Be yourself. Be proud.
@@Twin.Tastic Thank you for the motivating words. ☺️
"So much hate, I suffocate" oh my god that phrase hit me SO HARD. Thanks you so much for speaking out my thoughts
“Filled with so much negativity, til negativity became me.”
i honestly couldn't stop crying after i watched this. thank you.
omg it's so beautiful.
you are beautiful.
“I’m apologizing for just being me” well damn
.
.
.
.
The thing is I don't know how to "just breathe" and "be me" anymore because I'm only 14 yet I've spent my whole life so far pretending to be someone else, living in fantasy because I was never happy with the real world. Jumping from one persona to the next, trying to figure out which one was "me" until I didn't know what was real anymore. Then I realized that, and finally got the strength to push away from it, and what I was left with... is nothing.
How are ya buddy
Same I'm 14 years old too
Just found you and I love you ❤️
i agree
same but her videos make me cry
This is so beautiful. I am amazed. You are an amazing person, and this has made me feel so much better about myself. I say thank you. To you.
"For the first time in a long time, I'm just going to let myself breathe."
-wise words from an old soul.
Thanks.
When friends get judged or called names we always tell them:
"Don't listen to them"
But when it comes to us, no one tells us anything. Not even ourselves. We spend so much time helping others that we forget to help ourselves. We forget to take a break and hold ourselves up! Forget to take our own advice and, we turn into an insecure person who fears of giving the wrong advice and giving up hope, til' there is nothing left because they crushed our dreams. But let me remind you. Let me remind myself! Everything is temporary, nothing is permanent and this fear that you hold onto, these bad thoughts that you have locked up will go away, if we fight! Does the world wants to tear us down? Yeah. But can we fight? Yeah! We can fight! If the world pushes you, push it back! If the world brings you down, get stronger and rise up because together we can do absolutely anything!
Wow thank you this is inspiring
I relate so much to this poem. Thank you.
My dance class did a piece to this last year. It was so much fun to work with spoken word:^) I dont know if anyone from my class told you this. It was a good experience for all of us. Thanks for putting yourself out there, the piece was a favorite with the audience because it really spoke to them.
Ah this was so lovely to read! :)
It was such a fun time, I'll see if I can get you a link maybe to the piece, It's something special :)
Torasi Corington i'd really like to see that too, sounds wonderful
How did you download it? I want to do a solo to this next year but I would need to cut it but I don't know how to download it.
I love your newer videos. They are full of so much light and joy. And there are times I really need that. But I love these in an entirely different way. Painful and beautiful and honest while looking us right in the eyes.
I have struggled and procrastinated beginning serious work on a book I have wanted/needed to write about my depression and even darker stuff for at least the last decade. I've just recently (within the last week) really started finally working on it seriously. Watching these helps me want to keep writing. Thank you.
I'm just bingeing on your poems atm
Everytime I'm overwhelmed by all of emotions I come back to these poetry videos because it kind of allows me to feel it all it that makes sense
Thank you Taz
Here after the recent Love yourself Video🥺❤️
Thank you for opening up and speaking about this. You’re so spot on with all the insecurities that I have and I’m shOOk. Thank you for your vulnerability and making me feel less lonely. Thank you for making me feel like I’m not insane and I’m just another human trying to love myself. Thank you so much Taz
She is wonderful at it. If you like such content do checkouty videos on my channel and also follow back to get notifications
My family keeps trying to change who I am because they say "You won't get any boys looking like that." Imagine what they'll say when I come out as gay.
Sixx Obsessed Did you come out? How did they react?
No Im not going to come out until I move out.
It's very hard when your parents don't support you, even in general, but at least you'll find a partner that you really love, and not someone that they 'think' is right for you, and that just won't make you happy at the end. Love is love, by the way! Good luck! ♡
Sixx Obsessed same in the closet till I'm out there house
You moved out yet?
im sitting here sobbing. beautiful
Hello,
I am about to start my first year as a university student studying bachelor of dance in New Zealand, specializing in contemporary dance. My friend who is in her second year and i are wanting to create a dance piece that involves spoken word. We came across your work "I Hate Myself" and found it both chilling yet inspiring and so relevant to people my age no matter where in the world we are. We would love to use your spoken word for our performance piece which we are also intending to film as part of a sneak peek into what we as young up and coming dancers have to offer for 2016. I'm not too sure how you feel about it, but we would like to have your permission to use your spoken word for our choreography. Look forward to your response.
Kind regards,
Daisha and Emma from New Zealand! :)
+Daisha Hill Sure thing, you have my permission. Good luck with your performance!
Please upload that video, sounds like such a good concept!
"for the first time in a long time I'm just going to let myself breathe. Today I choose me" you have no idea how much I really needed to hear that.
I'm transfixed by the power and beauty not only of the words you so eloquently put together but the power and passion that pours out with every line you deliver. You are an amazing talent. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Can i post this poem on my new insta post rn? .. this is how i feel sm
hannah hussain sure thing :)
ClickForTaz THANK YOU SO MUCH!
ClickForTaz u are beautiful💜
ClickForTaz I also have a poetry I would love love to collab with you ur very talented can we please chat.? also please check out my channel.!!
Ugh I'm so bad at expressing myself but I just wanted to say how much I love this. I love how your writing is simple but powerful at the same time. So so relatable :)
Thank you...I admire you for being able to take what you feel, what I feel and turn it it to art....It makes me think that maybe theres still hope
I always find my way back to this channel. Thank you for helping me feel less alone. Thank you for voicing all your thoughts so beautifully. Your thoughts allow me to relate and think about how I wish I could put my thoughts so well spoken.
U are so beautiful 😍 and what u said really moved my heart
deep entropy k
I just found you and I immediately subbed. I hate myself and your video helped me express what was in my head. Thank you.
I cried throughout this entire video...honey you took every feeling I have every day all day and put them into words...thank you so much
Dude your emotion is so profound in the poetry as well as in your performance. You can feel it.
this is me I hide my emotions when I'm sad and around people and when I'm alone I let it go
Another one, I decided to look back at this to feel better as a human, thinking I would've accomplished more than just being happy, but being stable. I'm going to leave this here, don't do it for others, don't do it for society but for yourself. If you are going to fall, fall as a respected soldier, trust me, it will get better. Fall as a soldier with both dignity and pride, but with those comes self love. It's hard, I know it is. But why stop fighting when you've come this far? Look at yourself in the mirror, stare at yourself and tell yourself you can do this till you say it like you mean it. It'll feel like a never ending warfare because that's exactly what it is, but it gets easier, gradually. You will overcome those obstacles and slowly but surely learn your ways from your past. It's who you are, what decisions you make that make a difference.
Dont quit please, i love how you write, and explain things others find impossible, but most of all your videos are amazing!
"So filled with hate I suffocate" I'm actually crying. This all hit me deep because I feel exactly like this
We need more people in the world like you.
Those late night cries have made you stronger - at least you were not denying your feelings - you had the courage to live through them. That was the first step towards self love which is the greatest purest love that makes all other loves possible. It is only when you truly love yourself so much that you don't care what others think and you find yourself thinking, "well, if I had to live my whole life solitary, at least I have good company in myself", that you can relax and be who you are, and then your true beauty and potential start to come out. It is then that you are finally ready to find your mate and truest friends and consuming passion in your life purpose. Acknowledging that you feel self hate and no longer want to feel that is the first step on the path to self love that changes your life from the core.
I relate to this so much, my insecurities consume me. There's not a second that they're not on my mind, and this is probably the most beautiful video I have ever watched - I cried, no lie! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
this poem hit home...thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone. 💓
I am litterally so glad i stumbled across this video. I have been thinking of doing poetry somehow on my channel, but i was nervous. Great Monday inspiration!!! Loved it & felt it
If you enjoy spoken word, please check out my stuff and let me know what you think! :)
She is wonderful at it. If you like such content do checkouty videos on my channel and also follow back to get notifications
I love this 💕
Your words are saving so many lives .
You bring my thoughts into perfect words !
I love your videos so much. They hit every part of how i feel. And it makes me feel less alone. Please never stop making these. I love you!
This truly does explain self-hatred. Its quite confusing and it just messes up with your mind, another person inside you tells you that you're just not enough.
I've used this on ny english class, and they've like it. Thank you so much for being an inspiration!
I've never heard what I feel put into words so well ❤️
If you enjoy spoken word, please check out my stuff and let me know what you think! :)
Hi taz! I've been watching your vlogs (mostly for procrastination 😛) then i stumbled upon this vid. I've been having a lot of self hate and I know I've become a walking insecurity since i was in highschool. I was crying so much while watching this because you've manage to put in words the thoughts and feelings that i've had for the last couple of years. I really hope i could choose myself this time. Thank you for the wonderful vids! love yah 😘
you just explained my whole life and how I feel your vids make me feel like I can actually be okay
I did not know you made these kind of videos. I only watched your 24 hour challenges and other funny stuff. And watching you say this is kinda overwhelming. I really do relate.....
She is wonderful at it. If you like such content do checkouty videos on my channel and also follow back to get notifications
I love this poem so much
I'm so glad I came across this channel. I relate to these words too much. Couldn't have said it better myself
I’ve got chills from how real this is
I wish you guys amazingness today and everyday of the year. Don't let anyone get in the way of happiness, not even yourself. you are strong and capable and amazing and if you are feeling ashamed, alone or unworthy know you are better then you could ever imagine and know not to regret things and don't live your life ashamed but embrace the present and the world around you. YOU MATTER TO ME. Don't mind those who made you feel like you didn't. You are amazing and you're not weaker then any battle in life. You are cared for. You are worth it!!
I don't believe you
+Jon Favreau That's the worst part. When someone says they care or that your life does have meaning, but you cannot believe it, cannot trust it. Despite knowing deep down that they are telling the truth, you cannot believe, for how could you?
i wanna show this to my mom so i can show her how i really feel.
i love how you are so great at putting our feelings into words. plus, you're so pretty.
Guys feel your pain too.. This hit me right in the heart... You should never have to say sorry for being you.. I'd never expect you to be anything other than you. You are incredible.. I applaud you for being you.
It made me cry when you said “today I choose me”. I want to do that.
She is wonderful at it. If you like such content do checkouty videos on my channel and also follow back to get notifications
"so filled with hate i suffocate."
felt
I never knew 3 minutes could be filled with so much meaning... this is amazing!
You are literally an angel sent from heaven .thank you for existing seriously
this is as real as it gets, you aint lyin, u have mad confidence which is inspiring, u also have beautiful lips and eyes. this is a great video for the ears, and the eyes. good lookin out.
I feel this so much. Like my whole life I was told do this do that wear this wear that think this think that. And the saddest thing is that I did because I thought that then I would be happy and loved. But now I’m constantly hurt because other people don’t think before they spit out a nasty comment. They say it’s just a joke but too me it’s much more.
She is wonderful at it. If you like such content do checkouty videos on my channel and also follow back to get notifications
This is wonderful whenever I’m sad about something I come to this channel. I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot,you’ve help me Taz you really have thank you 🙏
You’re so good at talking and sharing your poems
you are beautiful inside and out!
Hello. I'm a RUclipsr as well, from Denmark if you know where that is... anyway thats actually not why im writing, i've just found your amazing channel and wanted to tell you, that your editing and your personality is very lovely. I'm defiantly gonna follow you - keep on doing what you do! :)
+Oscar Thank you so much Oscar! :)x
+ClickForTaz what camera did you use for your video?
+Oscar My names dane nice to me you, fellow viking xD
Thanks oscar! :)
I’m happy to say, you don’t hate yourself anymore. Ily taz ❤️
I can love your imperfections, I can love others imperfections, I can’t love mine, I hate myself, I underly loath myself, it’s sad that I can’t forgive myself but easily forgive others, I love your eyes clickfortaz, I love how dorky you are, I used to be like that, or maybe I had a real good mask on. Please keep your videos coming,,, the more fun, silly the better! You help me smile when I want to cry or even hurt myself,,, no pressure I am responsible for my own path, much love Stephen ❤️❤️ you rock
This is a really good poem! How old are you, and when did you start writing poetry?
ur beautiful and i really love this vid
You're what i have always needed. I wish I found you earlier. I feel the exact same thing as what you are saying in this video. I was going through the exact same thing and this really helped! Your whole channel helped honestly! This was the first video of you that I ever watched but I fell IN LOVE with it imediatly! I just wanted to tell you how much I apreceiate you and I wanna thank you for helping me through all hard times and rough spots in my life! Ily😍😘❤
I mean i have gone speechless after looking at this video, like girl, how are u soo good???!!
thank you for sharing, ^u^
Her: I can't eat
Cant relate
Omg.... Your voice ..... Omg so pure.... And your expressions.... This monologue is sooo soo soo sooo... Amazing.... It brought tears ... Not because I feel the same way... But it just touched my soul. The music your voice and how well you have acted.
You are so inspiring!!! I'm simply attached to your voice that speaks the truth, your honest eyes and the fact that you are SERIOUS about the topic you're talking about. I deeply hope that you will see this comment in the future; but you probably won't. You may not realise that you are ACTUALLY saving someone's life!!! You have such a great impact on every single person that watches your videos. Please, NEVER stop making these kind of videos because you are healing someone's heart and you're fixing someone's self-esteem. Please, do not forget this!😇
Hey taz could I read this poem at school I'll make sure to give you credit for it.
And I love all your videos (:
Yeah sure that's fine. :)
ClickForTaz thanks (:
Hello! I love this poem so much! I was wondering what your last name was because I wanted to recite this to my speech class:) I think they would enjoy it:)
+Cailas Corner Sure thing, it's Taz Alam. :)
so true so honest. .... u just speak from ur heart and ur honesty touch all of us ...bravo
Your poetry is so powerful and moving, you understand it's fantastic and relatable to how many females like myself feel and think
You are beautiful ❤️
dear whoever is reading this
I love you even though you don't love you ❤❤ I just want you to be YOU always
❤️❤️❤️and same to you 😊
I wish i could believe that someone actually cares about me
Thank u I really needed that ❤️
That was incredible, raw and honest. You are beautiful, strong and brave. Be proud to be you!
that was nice. it's hard being " somebody " so many expectations mostly set on yourself., however others dictate without realizing the effect. been there done that. keep strong., I know the feeling and try to get through some days myself. this is an great act of bravery putting this online in the way you did !!
2019?!? 💓 and this is perfect
I hate myself and I hate my life😫😤🙏
She is wonderful at it. If you like such content do checkouty videos on my channel and also follow back to get notifications
I've cried after a really long time , it was bubbling inside me , now I can't stop
Taz, this is amazing. It made my day so much better. Thank you for being you