I hate the term " as long as he comes home to you". Yeah...he comes home to you...but who is he thinking about? where is his heart really? Does he wish he was somewhere else?
If its hundreds and thousands of women here expressing their disgust for this behaviour, clearly its not "in our heads" and clearly we aren't the problem! Thanks girl, I was low-key shaming myself for wanting to have a partner who only chooses me and doesn't microcheat. I will rather stay single than bear microcheating!
Faaaaaacccccttttttss!!! We don’t do this when we’re in love. We don’t do that. The fact that men Believe this is ok or that it doesn’t matter because I’m with you is insane. I can’t believe such an intelligent man like Matthew would say this. I’m disappointed quite honestly.
@@limpnoodle5516 yes. No one can, and no one should. It's human nature, nothing to feel ashamed of. My insecurities are my own problem not my partners. I can ask my partners help with them but I can't restrict their actions for them, because it's unfair to them.
His wandering eyes and constant talk of other women being hot didn't occur until right before he left me..told me he couldnt support my career growth and he wanted to dedicate all his time to his kids. Less than a week later after breakup, i foumd out he actually left me for another woman with 3 kids of her own. I buried the signs.
i dont feel attracted to any other man in the world but my boyfriend of 3 years, but he finds plenty of other women attractive, even more attractive than me. its slowly ruining our relationship and im honestly losing my mind.
. Your partner should never make negative comparisons about you to anyone, or ever make you feel like you are in a competition with anyone else, that’s celebrities included. You should be held in high regard and in a league all your own in his heart. If he can’t show you this in his words and actions then it’s going to hurt you way too badly in the long run and damage your self-esteem. Have a heart to heart with him, and if he can’t prove himself and be good enough for you, then you are too good for him! It’s not the other way around!
i feel you girl. he tells me "everyone has celebrity crushes" or "it's normal to find other people attractive" and it hurts. i guess it's common for others but literally my boyfriend is the only one my eyes are drawn to. i wish he felt the same.
I hate it when men say "it's in our nature" well it's in women nature too but you don't see me looking at other men or making them purposefully jealous.
universalgirl101 Yeah, well, they dont do it to make you jealous either.... We just do it because our eyes gravitate towards things that are pleasing to the eyes. You may not do that but who cares? You're not a man, so you simply cant pretend to understand the way we feel and think. If my gf wants to look at attractive guys thats just fine with me. I am confident enough in myself and my relationship that I dont stress about petty things like that. The reason we stare at women is the exact same reason we stare at nice cars, its fun to look at. Thats it..... Theres no secret hidden agenda.
Looking is normal but i totally agree with u. Men need to be more respectful. If a man does it to me i just make a point to do it right back . funny how quick that behaviour stops .
And after reading the comments... it is clear that men and women think differently. I genuinely belive there are very, very few men whom could ever love a woman the way she deserved to be loved. Men and women love differently. I wish I was a fool, I wouldn't be so heartbroken.
I believe you are wrong. You should watch that video of Matthew we've he's giving a presentation with a whiteboard and a marker. There is no easy way to say this, but if you believe that men treating women right is an astronomical occurrence then, you have unusually high standards. Which is a telltale sign of being a spoiled Princess.
Plenty will disagree but I dont care..here goes..Looking at others as being attractive just seems like a stepping stone to cheating. If you're that in love with your partner, why would you feel the need (even by accident or naturally) to check out other people. Because I have enough self-control not to do that, I choose to be with someone who ALSO has enough self-control (and respect for me) to refrain from checking out other women. High standards gives him something to measure up to. He can expect the same RESPECT from me.
***** Glad there's at least ONE other person out there who knows what they deserve..Thank you for representing for the gals who have high standards. CAIO! ( ;
Rush, I agree and disagree with you. I don't agree with you saying it's "a stepping stone to cheating" at all. Most men will never act on it, nor do they ever even plan on acting on it. But I do agree that it's still very disrespectful and not classy at all. I also feel like if a man is constantly checking out other women, he is NOT fully satisfied by his girlfriend/wife. A fully satisfied man that's truly in love will only have eye for his woman and no one else. The fact that he's checking out others means there's something lacking in his relationship and he may not even realize it. Trust me, I've been on both sides. I've had guys so smitten and in love that they never even glanced at others when we were out, they would just stare at me like lovesick puppies lol but I've also been in situations where guys would straight up turn their heads to check out other women while we're out on the town or on a date! It's a disgusting feeling but that's how you know you may not be enough for that man. And that's ok, you just move along 😊
It’s not about “well who are they coming home to,” it’s solely the fact that openly commenting about your attraction to other people in front of your partner is DISRESPECTFUL. If some of y’all wanna put up with that, fine, to each their own, but just know that you don’t have to! Everyone has the power to set their own standards and boundaries in their relationships, and if your partner doesn’t meet them, you have the power to leave. Remember YOU are always in control, and people only do what you let them get away with. Demand respect. You deserve it.
That implies that people are always looking for a better people even when they are in a relationship. It implies that love and trust are meaningless, and that is false. If you believe this, you have a negative and biased worldview.
@@daphneduryea9136 Refer to my ^ comment. It implies that trust and love aren't there. Since trust and love do exist, the worldview is unrealistic. Unless you're claiming that love and trust don't exist, it cannot be realistic.
How boring is that? I'm friends with a married couple and they'll both comment on men and women who they find attractive, and talk about it. She'll look at a girl and be like "that dress though", and he's like "right?"
Yeah ok but she's only playing along to humour him. Trust me, it bothers her. Imagine the couples spent time perving on men, her husband will less likely play along to amuse his wife. Its only ok if she's perving on women too, right?
He did say "men and women" didn't he? Plus saying that she's humoring him is a bit much isn't it? Just cuz you don't do it, doesn't mean no woman does it. Ps- No one likes women humoring their partners like that. It does nothing for us. It probably only exists of some fucked up reason like being afraid of appearing paranoid or something. Women are way too obsessed with appearances. Smh.
Jessika69 exactly ! it’s not in a mans nature - if he truly loves . Most men aren’t in love and most men can’t truly love . If a mans nature can’t be in love and fully attracted to one person instead of attracted and fantasising about others - then why are they in a relationship ? Leave the relationship and do what you want . instead of only blaming the girls , why don’t you blame the women and men that put women in categories and define women that don’t look a certain way as “ Average “ “ ugly “ etc . While they look at the other woman and say “ gorgeous” “ beautiful “ “ pretty “” perfect “ etc . You do realise that the way you look affects the way people treat you dramatically ? And affects the way you treat yourself ? People like you want women that don’t look a certain way just to be happy and praise the women that do react society’s standards and have advantages as a result of this . What about the other women that weren’t born to reach society’s shallow standards and perceptions of beauty ? What do we do ? Don’t tell us not to care lol . As a female I will tell you that no female is not going to care about being compared to other females and being put down for her physical appearance .
LOVE and monogamy are not the same thing. Love is a choice. Im seeing all of these woman becoming upset that men don't stop having the ability to find others attractive....it doensn't matter whats in his head if he chooses to actively love you. You're making the experience painful for you both by focusing on that
Lol so true! The most infuriating thing! I hate when they do that smile when a girl looks at them. Even worse immediately afterwards they make a comment about how attractive you look...
Can't say I agree with you on this one Matthew. My ex used to openly admire other women in front of me, for example if we were dining out and it's totally disrespectful and inappropriate!
+Shade Miller I saw a guy with his girlfriend in a clothes shop the other day. Whilst she was looking for stuff to try on, her boyfriend was openly ogling and eyeing up the rather attractive blonde shop assistant. Just because he's being discreet and secretive about it doesn't make it acceptable, surely?!
Leave him !!!! Firstly - everyone is physically beautiful and unique in their own way - even if they don’t attract people . Secondly - Massive difference between recognising that someone is attractive according to standards or realising that someone is desirable or someone is somebody’s taste and even mildly admiring an aspect of someone- that’s okay ! What’s not okay is - actually personally physically and emotionally attracted to someone , where you are LUSTING OVER THEM AND FANTASISING OVER THEM. If !!! A man like that isn’t in love at all ! It’s okay to say “ I like muscles and this person has muscles “ or “ I like blonde girl and I like this girls colour of blonde “ or “I’m Into thick and this figure is thick or I like skinny and this girl is skinny “ or “ Im into tall men and this man is tall” or “ i am Into short girls and this girl is short “ or “ I like thin or thick lips and this girl happens to have that and I like that type of lips “ - it’s okay to have a type and like a certain aspect of someone ! But more than that is not okay at all ! Actually personally attracted to that individual - while in a serious relationship Is soooo not okay at all !DUMP HIM !!!! No it’s not in a mans nature - if he truly loves . Most men aren’t in love and most men can’t truly love . If a mans nature can’t be in love and fully attracted to one person instead of attracted and fantasising about others - then why are they in a relationship ? Leave the relationship and do what you want .
Extremely disrespectful of him. There are millions of topics under the sun to talk about or look at and that's all he could talk about, some other woman?
PeaLil HH I think that people with this kind of mentality, always want something else, whether or not what they already have is as good or even better. Think of the 80/20 rule
Settling = choosing There are no perfect couples every one has to compromise. Don't be brainwashed by Disney movies. It's effort and personality which make a relationship work not fate.
Everybody is flawed, part of love is acceptance, although you may see it as settling, that is not entirely as bad as you think it is. There will always be someone who is better than you in some way shape or forms, which is where trust and love comes in. If you think he is just settling for you, you might as well breakup with your SO since he may have flaws that you may not like.
I don't find thinking other people are attractive at all disturbing. I do however find the commenting about it incredibly disrespectful and not at all right. You want to make your partner feel good about themselves. Naturally, people are competitive, meaning a comment about other person being attractive is bound to stir up trouble. If my significant other looked at other person that was obviously very attractive, fine! Once the words "wow, they are extremely attractive" came out of their mouth, I would instantly have that twinge of needing to compare myself to them. It sucks it's that way, but natural. Again, you're supposed to make your partner feel good about themselves. Not make them feel weak in comparison to another person.
Danielle Littlejohn But isn't that your insecurity? I get that your partner should be sensitive about your insecurities. But are you actively working on getting over them?
@@arnavrawat9864 I'm tired of this insecurity stuff. Why do men run right to that statement, and then project it onto us? When the truth is, we learn insecurity through observing this behavior at a very young age, as young girls. By the time I was 9 or 10, I already knew men liked many other women besides their partner, and that they looked, a lot. As a young girl, this is very impressionable, and you never shake it. Women are screwed before they even grow into their true identity, so I assure you, it's not inherent insecurity, and the thousands of supposedly "expert" people who tout this, don't seem to look beneath the surface. It doesn't take a brain surgeon, any female will tell you this is true to an extent. She has been comparing herself to other women since before puberty.
@@melancholikak6844 No doubt that is true. My underlying point was, telling your partner to not talk about how attractive someone is, is just running away from the reality that your partner can find others than you desirable. Which is completely okay, because fairness and freedom. Im *not* blaming women for their insecurities. Everyone is human. Im saying this behaviour is avoiding the real issue. Which has the potential to cause relationship sourness. None of this is as important as the question- What are you doing about insecurity?
I would disagree. When guys say that stuff, it take a huge toll on my confidence and self esteem. It may be a sign of their own insecurity to try to make me feel jealous. But guys who have truly liked me in the past never ever would comment about hot women. They would reserve that for me. So I would say to move on from any guy who can't respect you.
We desire you to be a slut that desire us and maybe 🤔 others. Desireable wemen are sexy, release the kraken. Let it flow, like a whore on a Sunday morning.
I am gonna disagree w this one. Women are conditioned since birth to think our main value is our looks, and most of us go aaaaaall out making ourselves look as good as possible for a guy. So it can feel like a gut punch when our guy checks out other women, especially in front of us. Women are genetically, n culturally, programmed to look for the best Provider, but ur aaaaallllwaaaaaays talking about how we need to appreciate all the stuff guys do. If he works his ass off at a blue collar job and can only afford to take us to Olive Garden we would be called a Bitch if we talk about how much better the food is somewhere else. Or if he can only afford a 20 yr old Honda we are a Bitch if we laugh. Ladies, if a guy checks out other women I give u permission to say, "Why don't u take a picture? It'll last longer.....than this date!!!!"
I find it disrespectful to your mate to constantly comment on his attractions to other women even if he has chosen you. It may be OK to look at the menu but not order from it verbally. if he likes what he sees keep it to himself and be mindful of his women's feelings. it's called respect! especially when he doesn't compliment how you look! once may be tolerated but constant observation and comments shows he wants something else and has settled on you. He knows he can't have that candy but he is telling you he wants a taste of that flavor. But if you do the same behavior he is displaying he gets in secure! Attitudes and moody. I know I look good and don't need to be told constantly but I refuse to hear about other females appearance constantly either. Enough with the double standard. If you are happy to be with me then the later is not necessary.
this is my situation exactly! and i told him it bothers me, but he still makes comments (while pretty much never complimenting me)... other than that everything is great, so i dont know what to make of it.. :/
Martina T why? I show mine the women I think are attractive and he shows me the ones he likes, it makes things fun and he doesn't feel baf about being a man. Also, I show him the men I find attractive, it goes both ways.
Pointless video. Yes, they're not choosing who they are attracted to because the don't have the choice. The people they are attracted to are unattainable.
so by that reasoning men don't cheat right? No, they can be attracted to them and still choose you. Men are not "hypergamous" or obsessed with getting the best possible thing in terms of love....don't be foolish and believe who he finds attractive is unattainable
@@kristenb180 The difference is that looks fade where finances tend to increase with time. Not a real trade off. Men are not hypergamous generally speaking. yes, you can find some cases or examples but comparatively speaking, women view dating as a come up where as men do not
You know what? No. We stopped normalizing many things over the last years... ok! Why can't we STOP NORMALIZING infidelity at once????? Like, yesterday in a show they were saying things like "hey i love her... i almost didnt cheat this year!" So, "almost didnt cheat", looking at others' pics, watching a lot of porn.... those are all just placebos, so you don't cheat on me. Cause... you're a good boy, you don't cheat. But it doesnt come from your heart. You just don't want trouble or hurting me, it's not that you wouldn't.
lol so essentially you're hoping to OWN a mans entire sexuality. lol it will never happen. You find other men outside of your relationship attractive too. LOVE is ALL about choice. emotions like attraction come and go
My breaking up with my boyfriend because he told me he’s sexually attracted to other females but he doesn’t want me to look at other men and only have eyes for him
You want to be chosen to be desired to feel human. Reclaimed lover is natural, it's hot like making pancakes 🥞 in the nude for you for your special one, or many. Love many or few it doesn't matter. Just remember to bring pancakes. Get you back blown out regular. Muscle get stronger through use. The heart, the sex organs.
My ex always did this to me. Every time we were out and and any half decent looking female was there he was always gawking at her, when I was right there with him. This is really disrespectful to a woman. Yes it’s very hurtful and makes us feel unappreciated and feel like we are not enough. If he’s always looking for the greener grass, he’s not focused on being attentive to watering the grass he already has and keeping that green. If he wants to imagine being with other woman then he should go do that, I will not settle as anyone’s second choice. Honestly when I’m with a man who I love and care for, I’ve always went out of my way to make sure he knows I respect him and have eyes for him only. For example if we are going out and an attractive man comes by, I can acknowledge in my mind that yes, that person is attractive, good for them, but I then put my horse blinders on and consciously make myself physically not look again, because I love and respect what I have, and because I would not want my man thinking I have eyes and desire for other men when I truly only want him. It’s a factor of respect and honour, and if a man can not respect or honour me this way and he makes me feel unworthy, causing grief and sadness then it’s not really worth it. I lived for over 5 years with my ex who did this to me all the time, and also began being abusive, very narcissistic and putting me down all the time. My soul, my heart, my health, my happiness and my self worth were all battered by the end of relationship, I had totally lost myself and it’s taken me a long time to get myself back and be stronger. I have to set my standards higher now, now that I’ve begun dating again and I noticed my current partner doing this, I will not ignore this red flag, I do not deserve to have my heart broken again by a man who does not know how to respect and love me. That’s just how I feel about it
It feels bad when the person your with looks at other people and then comments on their good looks in front of you. Am i not what you'd prefer to be with? Are you looking for better options? It creates insecurity and it's hurtful and unloving.
I’ve struggled with this a lot in my relationship. And it was actually one of the milder reasons I took a break from the relationship for a while. The looking never really bothered me. But the comments in person and on social media did get under my skin a bit…. And I would definitely consider myself as someone who is very confident and very attractive (physically and emotionally). At the end of the day I believe that’s why he chose me. And I KNOW what I bring the the table is unmatched. Yea it is annoying but Truly believing in yourself will pull you out of the funk when it gets to you.
I totally agree. My bf said last week that a female friend of mine has more sex appeal than another female friend. I went out a few days ago with my friends and yesterday he asked me if my female friends met a new guy at the club. I didn’t go to the club but Why would he want to know if she met someone or talked to someone there! I was hurt and felt so jealous. Do you think it’s normal? I told him How i felt and He said I’m not attracted to her, i choose you in 20 or 30 years from now. I still feel hurt, don’t know what to think
These types of comments are a complete turn off and deal breaker for me. I know we all notice when someone is attractive but there is nothing constructive about making hurtful comments in front of your partner.
personally I don’t want to ever hear about him finding another woman attractive nor do I want him to think someone else is more attractive than I am. that’s the thought that really crushes me and drives my jealousy. I find someone else attractive time to time but it’s always casual and never do I “ogle” at someone. I feel like I only have eyes for him and I’ve never found anyone more attractive than he is and I wish for the same respect. I don’t care that he might have a thought here and there but I just don’t want it to be obvious nor more than what he thinks about me.
Welp, you'll be having a hard time then. Part of a relationship is acceptance and trust, there will always be someone who may be better than you regarding looks, that doesn't mean your SO will breakup with you, no one is perfect, and if your SO may find others attractive doesn't mean he is this hypergamous beast who fucks every women who is more attractive.
This is not the way things are. The moment someone else FEELS attraction for someone else but rationally chooses their partner, it doesn't mean they are choosing out of love. The moment you truly find someone else sexually atractive is the moment you let in the possibility of fantasizing about someone else other than your partner. This is abnormal, no matter how many excuses we find (men, biology, yata-yata-yata). When you truly love someone from deep down your heart there is no way you could possibly find someone else more attractive from a sexual pov. You can admire a nice body, yes, like a nice sculpture, but sexual attraction for another other than your current partner shows a character that struggles to remain in the relationship due to some other benefits.
but don't you agree that even if they are choosing you now, that the fact they find other qualities attractive that you don't posses, increases the likelihood that they will stop choosing you sooner rather than later?
I hate the “but who are they coming home to at the end of the day?” “who are they choosing?” mentality because it’s more like they’re settling for me when they’re attracted to someone else because they don’t want to go through the breakup, being single, trying to get with the people they find attractive etc.. Like ... it’s not choosing, it’s settling. they’re settling for you but they have their eyes out for others
Nobody wants a man to just settle for us. If my partner is attracted to other people,if they flirt with them I feel it can open the door to infidelity. When you know they are attracted to other people and it's obvious it lowers your self-esteem and can do some damage
What's the line to disrespect? Real life "checking someone out" and online "liking" women's pictures and commenting their desire while in a relationship? ( Both are a deal breaker for me.)
Hmmmmm...not really agreeing on this one Matthew. If my partner were to tell me about his attractions all the time (especially sexual ones), I would think he wasn't really into me. It is one thing to quietly think those things but to actually say them out loud is another. It can make even the most secure woman question things over time. I don't think many men would put up with their girl telling them they were sexually attracted to another guy. (Unless of course they were into threesomes etc.) They say looking is harmless but how often are we tempted by that chocolate eclair we keep staring at in the bakery window and then eventually go in and buy one? Maybe not the best analogy but you get where I'm going... :)
I agree with u but I guess sometimes u have to make some sacrifice to deal with the way yr man is. It's really hurt with comments like that but if yr man is like what he is, then I guess you have to find some reassuring way to accept it. That's why I came across this advice from Matt's vid, although it doesn't help my continue jealousy, at least it'll reassure me that I'm not losing out of the relationship. Thank you Matt.
+Karen Taijeron I was jealous in the past with guys who I didn't trust or feel very secure with because I was more invested in them than they were with me. I learned to put my self respect as a priority and not have to sacrifice my feelings or self worth for any man. I am in a very happy relationship now with a nice guy who puts me first. There is no talk about other women or sexual comments. We all have our tolerance levels but when things in your relationship constantly affect your emotions, it's not always a healthy place to be.
Maybe they're still with u because that other person they're attracted to isn't accessible for them... that jealousy comes exactly from the fear they might end up stopping choosing u once they get the access to that other person. I think it would better if u're with someone and u start being attracted to someone else, don't show it coz it hurts and the one u're with doesn't need nor want to know u're attracted to a particular person even though they know in a general way it may happen.
What if... Hes still choosing and staying with me cause he has no choice? And the person he's attracted isnt attracted yet with my partner? What if? What it hes just staying with me for sexual pleasures and just for some companion reasons? :(
Love is about choice, everybody got flaws, there is no perfect, you were of agency to be with him, and he was to. Part of love is accepting others for their flaws. You can make these what ifs all you want, if you're really worrying why not communicate with your SO about it.
This dude above me is trying to say that even if he's just staying with you for sexual pleasures & companionship it's still love because he made that choice to be with you. 🤣
It is very disrespectful and makes the woman feel as if he finds everyone else attractive but her and as if she’s not enough for her man when he blatantly ogles other women. My new boyfriend did that to me the other day and I was tempted to break up with him on the spot. It greatly diminished who I thought he was.
heisabletodo I don’t ever want to be with a guy. Unless you look like barbie they won’t really respect you or appreciate you fully. Unless you look like Marilyn Monroe or something. The ideal beauty I get that not all guys are the same and relationships are not only about looks, but there’s plenty of men who won’t appreciate you properly unless you’re typically beautiful. And I don’t want the chance of that happening.
@@katiewaity3413 actually it doesn't matter how physically good you look like. Men can still look at other women. They are just horny and act before even thinking.
Anyone with a single degree of self-respect would bin a disrespectful partner who has too much eye for others. It's evident there's a weakness in them, and therefore in your relationship itself. Yep, everyone is human, everyone notices other attractive people. However, it's how we react to the situation. Respect your partner by averting your eyes. Better still, look the other way, switch off to the 'temptation', and certainly don't 'track' them by pivoting your body or even following them with your eyes. As for those who'd make a remark about the object of their desire... well, don't fool yourselves, don't believe it's all about 'who they go home with' or 'who they choose to be with'. Truth is, given a chance, it's likely he/she would dump you if a seriously 'better option' was made available. So, cut loose and get away from disrespectful partners, put distance between you. Get rid of anyone who give others 'too much eye. For if you don't, one day it'll be you who ends up with a hurt heart and shedding the tears. Remember, if you truly love someone, then only have 'eyes' for them.
cuhurun iceni I broke up with my boyfriend because I was sad while with him because of accomodation issue at university - my dorm room haven’t been sorted out - as a senior student I relied on him to assist but as we were walking in the grocery store , he looked at another woman and I broke down and cried because as much as I was struggling with Uni, I could feel my relationship ending in that moment and I was convinced that he was no longer happy with me because had he been, he wouldn’t even look at other woman. I’m sad because he was the love of my life but in the same breath I can’t shake how he made me feel - inferior / unattractive / unimportant in that moment. My stomach turned !!! I felt sick!! And I’ll never forget that day. How do I move on?? I love him. It seems like something so minor cause he didn’t cheat!! But ...
cuhurun iceni if you truly love - you don’t find other people attractive . Even if You know that they are considered attractive by the standards or find an aspect about them attractive . But actually attracted to that person personally ? Leave him !!!! Firstly - everyone is physically beautiful and unique in their own way - even if they don’t attract people . Secondly - Massive difference between recognising that someone is attractive according to standards or realising that someone is desirable or someone is somebody’s taste and even mildly admiring an aspect of someone- that’s okay ! What’s not okay is - actually personally physically and emotionally attracted to someone , where you are LUSTING OVER THEM AND FANTASISING OVER THEM. If !!! A man like that isn’t in love at all ! It’s okay to say “ I like muscles and this person has muscles “ or “ I like blonde girl and I like this girls colour of blonde “ or “I’m Into thick and this figure is thick or I like skinny and this girl is skinny “ or “ Im into tall men and this man is tall” or “ i am Into short girls and this girl is short “ or “ I like thin or thick lips and this girl happens to have that and I like that type of lips “ - it’s okay to have a type and like a certain aspect of someone ! But more than that is not okay at all ! Actually personally attracted to that individual - while in a serious relationship Is soooo not okay at all !DUMP HIM !!!! No it’s not in a mans nature - if he truly loves . Most men aren’t in love and most men can’t truly love . If a mans nature can’t be in love and fully attracted to one person instead of attracted and fantasising about others - then why are they in a relationship ? Leave the relationship and do what you want .
I Totally agree. It’s Not only about choosing and who will they go home with. 👩🏽 It’s about being committed with respect to your ONE and ONLY. Otherwise, why would Men bother to be in relationship, if they are going to stare at other females in front of their lady’s own presence.
I don't get it, nothing good can come out from sharing this sort of stuff with your girlfriend. No matter how hot or smart she is, there's always better hence the question why get in a relationship in the first place, especially at a young age. If you want to fuck around, just stay single, don't break a girl's heart. Once you're together, there's really no way around it,you have to act like she's special and pretend to not notice your surroundings while she's out with you, and it's not worth the effort, just break up with her. Not all men are the same, some love the stability and the comfort of relationships, some pimp it all their life, what's important is to be real with yourself and with her, avoid unnecessary drama.
A husband should at least control his urge to check out other females in front of his wife. But sadly, some men do, including mine. Well, there are beautiful women everywhere, nothing special about that, but a hot man is a rare sight. Women can be visual too. But the reasons I don't ogle at other men's attractive bodies is because I don't want to disrespect him or make him feel more insecure, with him always complaining about his fat neck, paunch & all. And bc I want to be loyal to him in every sense of the word. Physically, emotionally & visually. But if he doesn't stop I might do the same with other attractive men, just to let him know how it feels. After tolerating for years, I'm finally fed up of this behaviour.
But what if that person chooses you not because he 's more attracted to you than he is to other woman but merely because he can't get the other woman to be attracted to him
I’ve never heard in my LIFE a guy ever say “oh hey man, that girl over there is so hot but I can’t get her so I’m going to settle for whoever...” never heard it, ever, from the locker rooms to boys only chats. I don’t know if that helped or not but that’s my experience as a college senior.
i have never had problem with this topic: "my man looking at other women"... the other day i saw my actual boyfriend watching with cute eyes a girl i actually find so cute... and my heart was in pain... and i felt ashamed of myself for being silly about it... but it really hurts! it was the first time i felt something like that. i believe it also happened because i am SOOO in love with him. i wish i can control that feeling when this happens next time. or if they talk to each other, because she is in the same social circle....... help. lol.
It doesn't matter if a woman is beautiful.. If a man is so weak that he looks at others, he will keep doing it.. The question is if a woman that is together with a man, doing this, if she can tolerate it. If not. Then leave.
I know I won't be attracted to someone else as I don't see other people as an option. If you're happy where you are, you won't need to cast your eye around
Okay so a husband is eye fucking ever hot girl that walks by but that’s okay, because he’s coming home to his wife ever night? WTF?! It’s not okay. It’s super disrespectful.. TO THE CORE! When you’re in a serious relationship.. Control yourself!!
+Heather Estes...so you have evidence beyond a shadow of a doubt that your statement is the absolute truth? That your partner would go off with the person they found attractive if that person was attainable? What makes you put that assertion upon your partner when it is your insecurity that is arising?
This advice is wonderful, but only works if a) the partner is respectful and sensitive in the way that they are attracted to others b) if the partner is honest and upfront about "choosing". Problems with jealousy arise most of the time when either or both of the above are not met. One can hardly blame a person to become insecure and worried if the partner ogles at others openly, even commenting on how attractive they are, or if they cheat on you and keep it a secret. At the end of the day, our very lives are at stake from a cheating partner (getting AIDs etc). So this is no small matter that we "need not worry about".
It's utterly disrespectful for my man to gawk at other woman in my presence. He doesn't need to look like a horny, sex craving womanizer gawker when I'm not around him either. It's called respect for your woman!!! Learn it and don't tell us woman you cannot control it...ridiculous!!!
Do not agree! I am attracted and also choosing my boyfriend. There’s no chance I could be attracted to someone and going home to someone else. That’s disrespectful.
Sometimes Matthews advice is clearly intended for the benefit of men. I remember him saying in one of his videos "sleep with him as soon as possible" in order to keep a mans interest. He also teaches that it's acceptable to be in "causal relationships." So this vid isn't a surprise. Don't get me wrong, he has good stuff too but it's good to look at the status of the "guru" for their own progress. From what I can tell... He's not married and never spoke of any serious relationship that he's in. Happily married relationship gurus are more reliable ...unless you are looking for more "casual" relationships.This guy seems to try to normalize some sleazy behaviors, probably to justify his own lifestyle. Maybe he practices the "causal" lifestyle.
I disagree and here is why. Many people I've known in relationships admit that they settle for someone they do not want, but is easy to be around or that they are so use to or they have such low self esteem that they stay. Here's what matters: they are bringing up sexual attraction in front of you. If you tell them you don't appreciate it, and they continue, they are disrespecting a simple request to respect someone's self confidence in a romantic relationship. What NEED is there to say something you know makes your spouse jealous and feeling low? I say if someone points out they are attracted to someone else on a date with you, do the same to them. If they don't like it, point out the double standard. If they don't care, then don't worry about doing the same thing to them.
Ooh look at all the women getting worked up over this! I think it would be inaccurate to say ALL these women commenting are insecure, needy, jealous partners. I have to join in the disagreement. Intuitive women can see a man's intentions plain as day, and it's quite clear when it's simply looking because the person is right in front of you or otherwise. Women who love and respect their partners must FIRST love and respect themselves, and this includes not being with a man who is constantly reviewing the menu for the next best option. And yes, we always notice, and even the most confident of us still cringe a little every time. But I love you Matt! And good GOD are you one attractive man. :)
And this is why women begin to consider other women for a romantic relationship. I've seen it way too many times. I don't care how different men are from women. Respect is respect! And I refuse to feel like I am someone's "consolation" and they had to "settle" with me. If someone is not enough, then don't marry, don't ruin other peoples' lives. Keep your lame, flirty, cheating way of life, but leave a serious relationship completely out!!! Attraction is the first step towards infidelity and it is lack of loyalty.
"men are visual. Men are like that. They can't help themselves. Its natural and normal" REALLY? Then it should also be normal for women to be okay with having a partner that constantly looks at other women. NO??
Handan Kanburoglu exactly! I don't mind but when it's all the time, when we walk somewhere or go to a public place, I feel like it's a lack of respect.
***** Your right. Its not just lack of respect also it makes you feel worthless and not special. been through it and broken up because of it but the other guys that im seeing now dont do that and it feeels so goood ! Hope all turns out well for you :)
***** Its true that he isn't talking about players. He talked about who we are realistically as a human being, we feel attractions or admires toward others. It applies whether you're single or not.
***** But to answer your question, don't feel threatened by another attractive woman who walks into the room, pretend to not notice her, he will see your confidence cause she only has as much power as you give her. And never assume that you're not attractive enough. Cause even a beautiful women can look ugly if she is insecure.
Your 100% right, but if hes constantly doing it, it makes you feel unappreciated and not special and thats exactly what you shouldnt feel by your man. I understand if he does it to a normal extent then yes ur definitely right. Andromeda Krisela What do you think? Have you been through it before?
It's also possible to acknowledge someone is conventionally good looking without feeling sexual attraction. Sunsets are very beautiful, but not at all sexually attractive
Thanks lord someone actually said it. I can see there are attractive men but that doesn't mean I am attracted to them. It is just an observation. But apparently for men it doesn't work like that cause they be lusting after every remotely attractive female they come across. Anyway I've finally come to the conclusion that loving a man is the biggest waste of time and energy and I will not give myself to someone who is constantly looking for the best next thing. Like go tf and have it. That's why I can't be bothered with them no more and I couldn't be happier
A lot of people in the comments keep saying that they disagree because they find disrespectful that their partner would always look at other women when they were out in a public place or always talk about other girls to them. But that's so different. That is basically choosing others before you. It's fine if once in a while they talk about a co worker whose a girl that's a friend, on how much they admire their leadership or independence. If they're constantly texting that person, constantly calling, mentioning and anything else about that person or doing that about other people. Than he isn't CHOOSING you. That's not choosing you.
Another thing that’s so wrong about all of this “he’s coming home to you” BS is how on earth are women supposed to feel secure in a relationship like that?! How could I put my efforts, money, heart, life, future, plans for family or a house together, or anything else that requires mutual support from your SO, on the lines of what I have to put up with is someone who “might” come back home, or “might” go off with the woman his jaw just dropped for?! It’s ideologies like this that allow cheating and break homes. And in this world with opportunity to micro cheat and full on cheat rife, it’s getting easier and easier to break down great relationships. I imagine a not-too-distant-future where no one has relationships anymore, and we all just bang around with whoever we please, everyone is just a means to an end to getting whatever need you want met by whoever wants to meet it…
In this day and age though... I have to disagree. If my boyfriend is at work, liking girls photos all day, everyday on instagram, photos of girls he thinks are hot, giving the occasional comment on an instagram models page.... that's disrespectful, that makes me instantly close myself off. I am the type of person who is not phased by physical traits. I used to be, but I realized that people's physical appearences are temporary and completely MEANINGLESS. Your physical traits might give someone an idea of your health maybe, as in if you workout or eat well, but other that that, it means nothing. Only your personality matters. Because of this mindset I have, I don't follow any men based off of the fact that I find them attractive. I literally only follow people that inspire me. I don't walk down the street and say oh he's hot, I literally do not have thoughts like this. And if I had a boyfriend, he is the only one ever on my mind, not just out of respect, but because I literally don't even think about anyone else. Everyone makes such a big deal about their partner being loyal, but they mean with their body; they don't want their partner having sex with someone else, and of course no one would!!! But, you don't want your partner's mind to be loyal too? You want to be home, and have your boyfriend at the bar with his guy friends, talking about who the hottest chick there is? You want your boyfriend looking at picutures of women's asses all day while he's at work? You want him watching his favorite pornstar? These thoughts... it's all fascination. He is fascinating about other women. I don't want a man like that, nor will I ever be able to love a man like that fully. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Guys lust too much... they have wandering eyes.... it's not acceptable lol. I would genuinely rather be alone for the rest of my life, surrounded by friends, family, and pets, than be with a man who has this type of behavior or mindset. I am not going to settle for someone simple minded. And unfortunately most men are this simple minded, they can't even comprehend this type of unconditional love.
I love what you're saying....however, I dislike that old line, "they are choosing you". The reason I don't favor that line is because many, MANY guys "choose" you because they don't think they can "get" the other person. Let's just be honest.
Being honest right now, I think that logic is coming from the female mind. In all my years I’ve never heard a guy say he’s settled for a girl because the hot one was out of reach. From the locker rooms to chats I’ve had over the years, not one guy. Keep in mind I’m a college senior now and I’m a guy involved in athletics so I know a thing or two about this, just saying.
@@mr.j3371 I totally appreciate your input. It's nice to hear your take on things coming from your exact background as well. In my experience however, I have alot of male friends. I'm very close with them and we have deep conversations about a plethora of topics, one of them being romantic relationships and I assure you that the whole "settling" thing has been a major topic. But I do believe that you may have something when you say this logic is coming from the female mind. As you've stated, you're around plenty of guys and this has never been a subject brought up. I feel that possibly say, my male friends, find it easier to talk to a female about thise sorts of issues. I mean, being a male and admitting to other males that they're just settling on the girl they're with doesn't seem like a go-to topic in the locker room, you know what I mean? I've now had around 5 close male friends admit to me that although they have feelings for their partners, their choice woman "got away" or they've simply admitted that they would rather be with A, B or C. But again, this is my perspective. I've only come to the conclusion in my initial comment because of my own experiences. Have a good day =)
I didn't agree with you mathew! because a guy can be with his girlfriend and not with the women he is really attracted to because he knows she's out of his league! he can't be with her maybe because he knows she will never accept him or be with him so he settles for less
I don't want to be "chosen" like choosing a candy in a candy store, I want to be loved and respected, and part of that respect is having a man who understands that when they openly flirt with other women it hurts me! It 👏hurts👏 me! And no that doesn't make me a crazy jealous girlfriend, it makes me human because I know I can't build trust with a man if he gives me no reason to trust him. A partner who loves you will make an effort to not hurt their partner, they will make an effort to let you know you are loved and care for! And everything I just said also applies to both girlfriend and boyfriends, it works both ways.
Most of the times you never settle with the person you really want. You are really lucky if you do. I hate this thing men like to play, trying to put the girl that actually loves him down so they can feel better about themselves and in power. Then they pull the " I'm with you ", "I choose you " to justify it ugh I'm done with these sick games, I want to be with a confident mature men, who respects his woman enough to know that if he really loves her he won't try to hurt her. And I know he will find somebody attractive, yes we all do, there's nothing wrong with that. But is there any need to verbalise it ? Is disrespectful ! Destroying your self confidence and making you feel worthless while he seems to enjoy it. Hell no !
what are these men....pokemon trainers? i chooose you! then they trap us in the cage called life and oogle other women. we fear they will choose them too. that means choosing them over you. ogling like a kid in a candy store is fine as long as they don't expect you to get in bed with the devil. in other words as long as they don't use words that actually make you feel disrespected or like a third wheel emotionally.
When he's attracted to someone else. So what if he still chooses his partner. It's still a red flag because if he knows she feels like she the only one he chooses then he knows he's gained her trust. And thats when he's headed in the other woman's direction. And this is so true.
If a person cares about their other than they will care of about the persons self esteem and sense of security. Looking the other way takes no real self control at all especially if you had any care for your other at all. My moms husband would check out women in front of her all the time. His brother brought a playboy picture of my moms husbands ex and hung it on the wall. He also let women sit on his lap. These things and even much lesser things are damaging and if a person is ok with making their "love" experience this pain than there clearly isn't any real love there.
It’s all about respect, is not about who he is choosing, I can find other man attractive but at the end of the day I choose to respect my partner and not to do something that is going to hurt them or make them feel uncomfortable.
Sorry, but this is bullsh*t. Both sexes have attraction to other people, but it’s a deliberate choice to exercise self-control and commitment, to not do anything about it, including making comments or ogling. This was an oversimplified excuse for rude and hurtful behavior. Someone can make comments to their partner about another person’s attractiveness and break their neck looking at someone else, but as long as they choose you at the end of the day it’s OK? Ridiculous.
@@extraterrestrial1999 I found my boyfriend liking modles pictures which I thought was okay because it was gigi hadid and everyone like that but I was a little jelous in a funny way🤣 so I had a plan that I would like pictures of hot men right infront of him🤣🤣 and he saw and was like wth😂 so I said to him you like modles pictures and I'm okay with it and I think I blew his mind🤣😂
@@siobhangallagher2576 apparently my ex cheated on me with his ex and then dumped me...so the signs were clear that he was disloyal and i was just fun for him.
Well, He only comes home to you because the other women may not be interested or perusing him. Give a man the opportunity and he likely will not "come home to you". Nothing tests loyalty like opportunity👍🏻
I wonder did anymore share this brilliant video with their caring bf? Cuz I kinda want to now. I watched this vid long time ago, now I watched it again to just to remind myself from time to time. And feel so grateful to my bf. This is such a helpful wake-up call for all women out there. And notice the good has been around us. Namaste.
Every person has self-control so i don't see why guys can't have eyes for one woman only. Yeah I get it if its an accident I know women are everywhere but please keep it to yourself I know theres definitely prettier women than me but don't rub it in my face. Its not jealousy its degrading
My man will look at woman all the time. They look nothing like me. He tells me when he smells a woman's perfume and how good she smelled, not the perfume, okay I can understand words, but I just slink down a bit, he sees a woman in a dress and he stairs a bit to long I poke him in the arm, he will say he likes dresses, I ware them and he says how it could be shorter or I bet that you would look good in that one. Untill he sees a undesirable woman in a dress then he will say, o maybe I don't like dresses. I slink down even more when he goes and talks to woman that he knows and all of a sudden I'm not there or he justifys it with I have known her for a long time we are just friends. I tell him how I feel but it's like he gets off on making me what he thinks is jelousy, but to me it's just him being rude.
@@tsukki9645 hello. He has gotten better. I had a talk with him and maybe even threw a few looks at other men of my own, just to let him see that it's damaging to ones self esteem. He don't want to lose me and so he has gotten better. I like a guy in uniform so now we just joke about that when a cop is around. I can see why he looks, but to make it obvious is creepy I told him. He had been single for way to long, 19 years, he had really bad days in that period and is scared to be alone. I have not found anyone that I really like so I had to make it better for me or yes I would have left.
@@pattycake8272 I'm glad to know that things have gotten better for you. If he is controlling his behaviour, it's fine I guess. Wishing all the best to both of you😊 But remember one thing, you are beautiful, so never compromise your happiness for anything.☺️
@@tsukki9645 thank you. It felt good to tell my story. It made me think about my problem and go threw with the salutations I needed to take. Like a diary. It's nice to have some feed back and have it be good. Thank you again. I hope the best for you.
I think it totally matters if your partner feels the need to comment on someone else being attractive. At the end of the day it matters who you choose yes, but, you're supposed to make your partner feel good and at the end of the day if your partner chooses you but doesn't make you feel good what does it matter ? You have self control to not check out other women, you definitely have the self control to keep your mouth shut about the ones you ind attractive. It's disrespectful to the person you choseeee to be with and care for, and protect, and make them feel good. Your partner made a commitment to you, your focus should be on them. I know if I have the respect and self control to not do something like that, I should be able to have a partner who's just as respectful. If not stay single and you don't hurt nobodyyyy.
My boyfriend and I will comment on attractive people in movies and it’s all fun and games, but I personally hate when a man openly comments on a woman’s appearance in real life. I’m not interested in controlling anyone and if he’s more interested in checking out hot women than being respectful to me, I’m out. It may be ‘insecure’ but I just don’t jive with that. Go be single or be with a woman who’s polyamorous. I’ve been burned badly in the past and certain behaviours are just red flags and not worth my time.
You know what, dude? NO. This is just another man helping to perpetuate other men’s disrespectful behaviours. You have a woman, she doesn’t like it that you look at other women. Maybe she’s raised the issue and you’ve carried on to shit all over her boundaries, so you then don’t feel so bad for calling her a “controlling psycho.” Either stop doing it, or at least get better at being discreet about it. Very few women actually enjoy being made to feel inadequate pieces of shit by their significant other. That’s in our “nature.” And this “he’s still coming home to you!” What, you think men who cheat stop going home once they’ve done it?
Bullshit. I don't want a man to "choose" me if he cannot respect me enough to keep his eyes to himself. It's so rude. I'm a very secure woman. But no. I would never check out another man. And also woman feel other men checking them out. And its so awkward if they are with their woman. I promise you guys, good women don't find it flattering. We find it uncomfortable
The "choosing" mister, is when you choose to respect that you are walking with someone who want to tell the world that you are hers. Lookong at other people when you are with your gf or wife is plain disrespectful to her and to yourself. TO focus your intention on her sensitivities and not your indulgence is one way of caring for the relationship. If your gf/ wife does not react to it,I am telling you they're not as invested. Tell me if Im wrong after 5 years, and go get a more understanding of the woman's side.
Very disappointed in how he presented this. Like other commenters said...I don't want to be a consolation prize, I'm not an option, and I don't want to be what is distracting the guy from whoever he really wants. I was looking for help with comparing myself to other women and thought this video would be of great help. Sadly disappointed. Instead of helping me with any issues, it's only magnified them and it seems as if he's making excuses for 'how men are'. So freakin annoying. Men don't need anymore 'help' with excusing their behavior.
Bruh it’s still disrespectful AF… major 🚩 flag… men don’t like it so why should women put up with that shit?? I don’t think so… wandering eyes mean you’re an option
A guy I've just started dating, told me he thought this woman on a reality show, was really good looking. I was not happy about it as I'm 58 and this girl was 26. Can you believe, we were on a boat having lunch last Sat and this chick turned up on the next boat in a skimpy bikini. Of course, new man couldn't keep his eyes off her. He told me I was jealous. I think I'll dump him. He had 2 affairs on his wife of 16 years and dated a stripper. I don't trust him. He's 61.
At all times we have a choice. If your man tells you he thinks some other woman is hot over and over again, relax it's nothing serious. If you get tired of hearing it, just mention how you think some other guy is hot and why. If that other hot guy has nothing in common with your man even better. Your guy will get the message and stop bringing up that other woman because he most likely doesn't want to hear about who else is hot to you.
I always think, if this is what they do in front of you, imagine what they do behind your back. I'm nowhere near a young, super attractive woman, and can tell you when men aren't with their wives and girlfriends, they openly look. I mean is the fact of just not doing it in front of your face the issue? Want to have a boyfriend who women in society know is checking several of them out openly when you aren't around? There is such a thing as self control, and when men look att me this way, don't find it a compliment (the way they think we would take it), I find it tacky, unnecessary, disrespectful, and lacking character. Stop acting like you cannot control it.most women a really hate being randomly checked out. Yeah, men and women are different.
If our partner chooses to look elsewhere, the day will come when they will no longer choose us. We can't be 10 or 100 hotter girls. We are us, they either want us or they want more. You are simply justifying lusting. And to say the train has to crash before we get off is stupid. If they are looking on the todays, they will be leaving on the tomorrows.
I'll never understand why guys think its acceptable to comment about other women in front of the girl they like/ girlfriend. It's extremely disrespectful and it's just common sense not to. I rarely ever see girls lusting over men like that in front of their SO.
Would be great if you could do a video on the damage social media causes to relationships, particularly similar to this issue with the problem where men follow women on social media who post sexual content of themselves in underwear etc and with today's obsession with cosmetics all these women seem to have unrealistic bodies that the average women is by no realistic standards is able to achieve. How do you get past that in a relationship? It's worse because their viewing of these women is made public by following them, likes etc, porn is usually done in private, but now it's as if men are welcomed to publicly ogle at other women and I feel it is disrespectful in a relationship to do so.
no! I disagree Matthew. I would never put the man I care about or love at the same level or above him. I would protect his heart and when, the man I care about said some other woman was “hot” even if she’s out of reach, I felt hurt inside despite my confidence and despite the fact that he finds me hot too-it hurt and felt disrespected because It made me feel unsafe. I lost trust in him. Maybe he doesn’t realize how hurtful that is and was just giving a matter of fact comment. I don’t know, to me it’s insensitive and I would never say that to him about another man.
I hate the term " as long as he comes home to you". Yeah...he comes home to you...but who is he thinking about? where is his heart really? Does he wish he was somewhere else?
True...
Exactly. And if he could get her, maybe he would.
LOOOOVE THIS COMMENT!!!!
Amen.
exactly
If its hundreds and thousands of women here expressing their disgust for this behaviour, clearly its not "in our heads" and clearly we aren't the problem! Thanks girl, I was low-key shaming myself for wanting to have a partner who only chooses me and doesn't microcheat. I will rather stay single than bear microcheating!
Micro cheating is so naughty of you. It excites me to know you would be so vulgar and lewd. Grow up not old dirty girl.
Faaaaaacccccttttttss!!! We don’t do this when we’re in love. We don’t do that. The fact that men Believe this is ok or that it doesn’t matter because I’m with you is insane. I can’t believe such an intelligent man like Matthew would say this. I’m disappointed quite honestly.
FACTS GIRL!!
Wandering eyes can lead to cheating & lies.
Yeah? Being attractive is more likely to cause cheating, than wandering eyes. Doesn't mean one starts being intentionally ugly and repulsive.
From personal experience... this statement is sadly so true.
@@arnavrawat9864 😂honestly we can't help what we look what.
@@limpnoodle5516 yes. No one can, and no one should.
It's human nature, nothing to feel ashamed of.
My insecurities are my own problem not my partners.
I can ask my partners help with them but I can't restrict their actions for them, because it's unfair to them.
His wandering eyes and constant talk of other women being hot didn't occur until right before he left me..told me he couldnt support my career growth and he wanted to dedicate all his time to his kids. Less than a week later after breakup, i foumd out he actually left me for another woman with 3 kids of her own. I buried the signs.
i dont feel attracted to any other man in the world but my boyfriend of 3 years, but he finds plenty of other women attractive, even more attractive than me. its slowly ruining our relationship and im honestly losing my mind.
It’s how most guys are. Break up with him and try to find happiness with a different guy.
l
. Your partner should never make negative comparisons about you to anyone, or ever make you feel like you are in a competition with anyone else, that’s celebrities included. You should be held in high regard and in a league all your own in his heart. If he can’t show you this in his words and actions then it’s going to hurt you way too badly in the long run and damage your self-esteem. Have a heart to heart with him, and if he can’t prove himself and be good enough for you, then you are too good for him! It’s not the other way around!
i feel you girl. he tells me "everyone has celebrity crushes" or "it's normal to find other people attractive" and it hurts. i guess it's common for others but literally my boyfriend is the only one my eyes are drawn to. i wish he felt the same.
utena yes I feel the same. It hurts every time. 😢
. Where are you guys now? I’m going through the same thing.
I hate it when men say "it's in our nature" well it's in women nature too but you don't see me looking at other men or making them purposefully jealous.
universalgirl101 Yeah, well, they dont do it to make you jealous either.... We just do it because our eyes gravitate towards things that are pleasing to the eyes. You may not do that but who cares? You're not a man, so you simply cant pretend to understand the way we feel and think. If my gf wants to look at attractive guys thats just fine with me. I am confident enough in myself and my relationship that I dont stress about petty things like that. The reason we stare at women is the exact same reason we stare at nice cars, its fun to look at. Thats it..... Theres no secret hidden agenda.
Alex Crowder Thank you. I really needed to hear that tonight, I appreciate it.
universalgirl101 im going through the exact problem...how do you deal with it?
Noticing someone isn't a choice. Leering, ogling, etc - those are choices. Commenting is a choice.
Looking is normal but i totally agree with u. Men need to be more respectful. If a man does it to me i just make a point to do it right back . funny how quick that behaviour stops .
And after reading the comments... it is clear that men and women think differently. I genuinely belive there are very, very few men whom could ever love a woman the way she deserved to be loved. Men and women love differently. I wish I was a fool, I wouldn't be so heartbroken.
Girl, you said a lot right here.
Gabby S omg fucking same. I am hurting.
Thissss
OMG same! Sometimes I wish I was oblivious!
I believe you are wrong. You should watch that video of Matthew we've he's giving a presentation with a whiteboard and a marker.
There is no easy way to say this, but if you believe that men treating women right is an astronomical occurrence then, you have unusually high standards. Which is a telltale sign of being a spoiled Princess.
No I don’t care if he ‘chooses’ me. I’m not an option.
Well if you were the only woman on earth, then yes you’re not an option. But since you’re not... just saying, logically 🤷♂️
The whole "swipe left, swipe right" tinder mentality. I am not a swipe at all.
#Entitled
Yes you are an option. Do you want to be someones sticky treat, for desire and reclaimed sex. Whatever be a human. Feel the need.
Plenty will disagree but I dont care..here goes..Looking at others as being attractive just seems like a stepping stone to cheating. If you're that in love with your partner, why would you feel the need (even by accident or naturally) to check out other people. Because I have enough self-control not to do that, I choose to be with someone who ALSO has enough self-control (and respect for me) to refrain from checking out other women. High standards gives him something to measure up to. He can expect the same RESPECT from me.
*****
Glad there's at least ONE other person out there who knows what they deserve..Thank you for representing for the gals who have high standards. CAIO! ( ;
👍Say it again, lady!
Rush, I agree and disagree with you. I don't agree with you saying it's "a stepping stone to cheating" at all. Most men will never act on it, nor do they ever even plan on acting on it. But I do agree that it's still very disrespectful and not classy at all. I also feel like if a man is constantly checking out other women, he is NOT fully satisfied by his girlfriend/wife. A fully satisfied man that's truly in love will only have eye for his woman and no one else. The fact that he's checking out others means there's something lacking in his relationship and he may not even realize it. Trust me, I've been on both sides. I've had guys so smitten and in love that they never even glanced at others when we were out, they would just stare at me like lovesick puppies lol but I've also been in situations where guys would straight up turn their heads to check out other women while we're out on the town or on a date! It's a disgusting feeling but that's how you know you may not be enough for that man. And that's ok, you just move along 😊
***** I agree with you, Sister.
JewelsScarlet they never act on it because they usually can't and don't have a chance to do so, they sure do wish they could.
It’s not about “well who are they coming home to,” it’s solely the fact that openly commenting about your attraction to other people in front of your partner is DISRESPECTFUL. If some of y’all wanna put up with that, fine, to each their own, but just know that you don’t have to! Everyone has the power to set their own standards and boundaries in their relationships, and if your partner doesn’t meet them, you have the power to leave. Remember YOU are always in control, and people only do what you let them get away with. Demand respect. You deserve it.
Well he'll choose you cause he's not getting a respond from the other girl! 😄
That implies that people are always looking for a better people even when they are in a relationship.
It implies that love and trust are meaningless, and that is false.
If you believe this, you have a negative and biased worldview.
@@arnavrawat9864 No, she has a realistic world view.
@@daphneduryea9136 Refer to my ^ comment.
It implies that trust and love aren't there.
Since trust and love do exist, the worldview is unrealistic.
Unless you're claiming that love and trust don't exist, it cannot be realistic.
Lisa AMEN!!! That's what I said!
@@arnavrawat9864 L was the true casanova
Negative. I don't need to know who my partner is attracted too. He can keep that to himself.
How boring is that? I'm friends with a married couple and they'll both comment on men and women who they find attractive, and talk about it. She'll look at a girl and be like "that dress though", and he's like "right?"
Yeah ok but she's only playing along to humour him. Trust me, it bothers her. Imagine the couples spent time perving on men, her husband will less likely play along to amuse his wife. Its only ok if she's perving on women too, right?
Ruqayat Hime I 10000% agree with you !
Jahazey Janzen does the man go along with the woman making comments about other men?
He did say "men and women" didn't he?
Plus saying that she's humoring him is a bit much isn't it? Just cuz you don't do it, doesn't mean no woman does it.
Ps- No one likes women humoring their partners like that. It does nothing for us. It probably only exists of some fucked up reason like being afraid of appearing paranoid or something.
Women are way too obsessed with appearances. Smh.
What I need to know is that why isn't
anyone ever satisfied.
I know, right!
I usually like his advice, but seems like this is just giving the other person an excuse to continue bad behavior.
It comes down to emotional maturity..most men don't have it.
Jessika69 exactly ! it’s not in a mans nature - if he truly loves . Most men aren’t in love and most men can’t truly love . If a mans nature can’t be in love and fully attracted to one person instead of attracted and fantasising about others - then why are they in a relationship ? Leave the relationship and do what you want .
instead of only blaming the girls , why don’t you blame the women and men that put women in categories and define women that don’t look a certain way as “ Average “ “ ugly “ etc . While they look at the other woman and say “ gorgeous” “ beautiful “ “ pretty “” perfect “ etc . You do realise that the way you look affects the way people treat you dramatically ? And affects the way you treat yourself ? People like you want women that don’t look a certain way just to be happy and praise the women that do react society’s standards and have advantages as a result of this . What about the other women that weren’t born to reach society’s shallow standards and perceptions of beauty ? What do we do ? Don’t tell us not to care lol . As a female I will tell you that no female is not going to care about being compared to other females and being put down for her physical appearance .
LOVE and monogamy are not the same thing.
Love is a choice. Im seeing all of these woman becoming upset that men don't stop having the ability to find others attractive....it doensn't matter whats in his head if he chooses to actively love you.
You're making the experience painful for you both by focusing on that
Coming from someone letting an app dictate their whole entire life 😂
Yep
What if the guy denies looking at other women ? its so annoying! its like I SEE WHERE YOUR EYEBALLS ARE goddamnit
Leah so true!!
I have two ex husbands that fit that mold...both were cheaters too!
AMEN SISTER! PREACH IT!
Lol so true! The most infuriating thing! I hate when they do that smile when a girl looks at them. Even worse immediately afterwards they make a comment about how attractive you look...
@@kayTzu35 I totally agree..
It's happened to me too..he said he loves me right after checking some other girl on my face.
If he never compliments you, but speak more about someone else..thats disrespectful.
@BARBATVS 89 wtf
Can't say I agree with you on this one Matthew. My ex used to openly admire other women in front of me, for example if we were dining out and it's totally disrespectful and inappropriate!
Michelle Lee that's different if they're openly expressing the fact that they admire/are more attracted to them than you
+Shade Miller I saw a guy with his girlfriend in a clothes shop the other day. Whilst she was looking for stuff to try on, her boyfriend was openly ogling and eyeing up the rather attractive blonde shop assistant. Just because he's being discreet and secretive about it doesn't make it acceptable, surely?!
Leave him !!!! Firstly - everyone is physically beautiful and unique in their own way - even if they don’t attract people . Secondly - Massive difference between recognising that someone is attractive according to standards or realising that someone is desirable or someone is somebody’s taste and even mildly admiring an aspect of someone- that’s okay ! What’s not okay is - actually personally physically and emotionally attracted to someone , where you are LUSTING OVER THEM AND FANTASISING OVER THEM. If !!! A man like that isn’t in love at all ! It’s okay to say “ I like muscles and this person has muscles “ or “ I like blonde girl and I like this girls colour of blonde “ or “I’m Into thick and this figure is thick or I like skinny and this girl is skinny “ or “ Im into tall men and this man is tall” or “ i am Into short girls and this girl is short “ or “ I like thin or thick lips and this girl happens to have that and I like that type of lips “ - it’s okay to have a type and like a certain aspect of someone ! But more than that is not okay at all ! Actually personally attracted to that individual - while in a serious relationship Is soooo not okay at all !DUMP HIM !!!!
No it’s not in a mans nature - if he truly loves . Most men aren’t in love and most men can’t truly love . If a mans nature can’t be in love and fully attracted to one person instead of attracted and fantasising about others - then why are they in a relationship ? Leave the relationship and do what you want .
Shade Miller idiot .
Extremely disrespectful of him. There are millions of topics under the sun to talk about or look at and that's all he could talk about, some other woman?
The problem is, in some case's its not choosing its settling!
PeaLil HH I think that people with this kind of mentality, always want something else, whether or not what they already have is as good or even better. Think of the 80/20 rule
Settling = choosing
There are no perfect couples every one has to compromise. Don't be brainwashed by Disney movies.
It's effort and personality which make a relationship work not fate.
Everybody is flawed, part of love is acceptance, although you may see it as settling, that is not entirely as bad as you think it is. There will always be someone who is better than you in some way shape or forms, which is where trust and love comes in. If you think he is just settling for you, you might as well breakup with your SO since he may have flaws that you may not like.
I don't find thinking other people are attractive at all disturbing. I do however find the commenting about it incredibly disrespectful and not at all right. You want to make your partner feel good about themselves. Naturally, people are competitive, meaning a comment about other person being attractive is bound to stir up trouble. If my significant other looked at other person that was obviously very attractive, fine! Once the words "wow, they are extremely attractive" came out of their mouth, I would instantly have that twinge of needing to compare myself to them. It sucks it's that way, but natural. Again, you're supposed to make your partner feel good about themselves. Not make them feel weak in comparison to another person.
Best comment I have read
I feel the same way
Danielle Littlejohn But isn't that your insecurity? I get that your partner should be sensitive about your insecurities. But are you actively working on getting over them?
@@arnavrawat9864 I'm tired of this insecurity stuff. Why do men run right to that statement, and then project it onto us? When the truth is, we learn insecurity through observing this behavior at a very young age, as young girls. By the time I was 9 or 10, I already knew men liked many other women besides their partner, and that they looked, a lot. As a young girl, this is very impressionable, and you never shake it. Women are screwed before they even grow into their true identity, so I assure you, it's not inherent insecurity, and the thousands of supposedly "expert" people who tout this, don't seem to look beneath the surface. It doesn't take a brain surgeon, any female will tell you this is true to an extent. She has been comparing herself to other women since before puberty.
@@melancholikak6844 No doubt that is true.
My underlying point was, telling your partner to not talk about how attractive someone is, is just running away from the reality that your partner can find others than you desirable. Which is completely okay, because fairness and freedom.
Im *not* blaming women for their insecurities. Everyone is human.
Im saying this behaviour is avoiding the real issue. Which has the potential to cause relationship sourness.
None of this is as important as the question- What are you doing about insecurity?
I would disagree. When guys say that stuff, it take a huge toll on my confidence and self esteem. It may be a sign of their own insecurity to try to make me feel jealous. But guys who have truly liked me in the past never ever would comment about hot women. They would reserve that for me. So I would say to move on from any guy who can't respect you.
Kate Hiebert facts ! 💯
Thank you
We desire you to be a slut that desire us and maybe 🤔 others. Desireable wemen are sexy, release the kraken. Let it flow, like a whore on a Sunday morning.
I am gonna disagree w this one. Women are conditioned since birth to think our main value is our looks, and most of us go aaaaaall out making ourselves look as good as possible for a guy. So it can feel like a gut punch when our guy checks out other women, especially in front of us. Women are genetically, n culturally, programmed to look for the best Provider, but ur aaaaallllwaaaaaays talking about how we need to appreciate all the stuff guys do. If he works his ass off at a blue collar job and can only afford to take us to Olive Garden we would be called a Bitch if we talk about how much better the food is somewhere else. Or if he can only afford a 20 yr old Honda we are a Bitch if we laugh. Ladies, if a guy checks out other women I give u permission to say, "Why don't u take a picture? It'll last longer.....than this date!!!!"
I find it disrespectful to your mate to constantly comment on his attractions to other women even if he has chosen you. It may be OK to look at the menu but not order from it verbally. if he likes what he sees keep it to himself and be mindful of his women's feelings. it's called respect! especially when he doesn't compliment how you look! once may be tolerated but constant observation and comments shows he wants something else and has settled on you. He knows he can't have that candy but he is telling you he wants a taste of that flavor. But if you do the same behavior he is displaying he gets in secure! Attitudes and moody. I know I look good and don't need to be told constantly but I refuse to hear about other females appearance constantly either. Enough with the double standard. If you are happy to be with me then the later is not necessary.
Thank you! I needed to hear that and I completely agree
this is my situation exactly! and i told him it bothers me, but he still makes comments (while pretty much never complimenting me)... other than that everything is great, so i dont know what to make of it.. :/
amen. Michelle Barley
+knn10 I hope matthew makes a video about this. im going through the same situation. he always look at light skin girls short girls.
Amazing ! You're absolutely right !
A picture or like an actress in a movie it's ok but the actual act of looking at women in the street while I'm there I find it so disrespectful.
Martina T well, yeah that would be quite disrespectful
Martina T why? I show mine the women I think are attractive and he shows me the ones he likes, it makes things fun and he doesn't feel baf about being a man. Also, I show him the men I find attractive, it goes both ways.
Martina T hell yeah it is this guy doesn't know what he is talking about your man should be attracted to you not just be for the end of the day wtf
Martina T if he doesn’t that , he ain’t in love with anyone apart from himself .
Pointless video. Yes, they're not choosing who they are attracted to because the don't have the choice. The people they are attracted to are unattainable.
so by that reasoning men don't cheat right? No, they can be attracted to them and still choose you.
Men are not "hypergamous" or obsessed with getting the best possible thing in terms of love....don't be foolish and believe who he finds attractive is unattainable
Christian Stamps men are absolutely hypergamous... when it comes to women’s looks.
@@kristenb180 The difference is that looks fade where finances tend to increase with time. Not a real trade off.
Men are not hypergamous generally speaking. yes, you can find some cases or examples but comparatively speaking, women view dating as a come up where as men do not
You know that trust exists right
You know what? No.
We stopped normalizing many things over the last years... ok! Why can't we STOP NORMALIZING infidelity at once?????
Like, yesterday in a show they were saying things like "hey i love her... i almost didnt cheat this year!" So, "almost didnt cheat", looking at others' pics, watching a lot of porn.... those are all just placebos, so you don't cheat on me. Cause... you're a good boy, you don't cheat. But it doesnt come from your heart. You just don't want trouble or hurting me, it's not that you wouldn't.
lol so essentially you're hoping to OWN a mans entire sexuality. lol it will never happen. You find other men outside of your relationship attractive too. LOVE is ALL about choice. emotions like attraction come and go
@@christianstamps6410 so don't expect to own a woman's entire heart
My breaking up with my boyfriend because he told me he’s sexually attracted to other females but he doesn’t want me to look at other men and only have eyes for him
Yea I agree with you on this. You should be able to do whatever he does.
What a pathetic loser. I hope you're doing alright, hun..so glad you're out of that now ❤
Alot of men are like this, it's so annoying
Thank you, Matt. After hearing this. I don't want to get married anymore
Lmaooo
😂
You want to be chosen to be desired to feel human. Reclaimed lover is natural, it's hot like making pancakes 🥞 in the nude for you for your special one, or many. Love many or few it doesn't matter. Just remember to bring pancakes. Get you back blown out regular. Muscle get stronger through use. The heart, the sex organs.
😂😂😂😂
My ex always did this to me. Every time we were out and and any half decent looking female was there he was always gawking at her, when I was right there with him. This is really disrespectful to a woman. Yes it’s very hurtful and makes us feel unappreciated and feel like we are not enough. If he’s always looking for the greener grass, he’s not focused on being attentive to watering the grass he already has and keeping that green. If he wants to imagine being with other woman then he should go do that, I will not settle as anyone’s second choice. Honestly when I’m with a man who I love and care for, I’ve always went out of my way to make sure he knows I respect him and have eyes for him only. For example if we are going out and an attractive man comes by, I can acknowledge in my mind that yes, that person is attractive, good for them, but I then put my horse blinders on and consciously make myself physically not look again, because I love and respect what I have, and because I would not want my man thinking I have eyes and desire for other men when I truly only want him. It’s a factor of respect and honour, and if a man can not respect or honour me this way and he makes me feel unworthy, causing grief and sadness then it’s not really worth it. I lived for over 5 years with my ex who did this to me all the time, and also began being abusive, very narcissistic and putting me down all the time. My soul, my heart, my health, my happiness and my self worth were all battered by the end of relationship, I had totally lost myself and it’s taken me a long time to get myself back and be stronger. I have to set my standards higher now, now that I’ve begun dating again and I noticed my current partner doing this, I will not ignore this red flag, I do not deserve to have my heart broken again by a man who does not know how to respect and love me. That’s just how I feel about it
❤️
Loads of love and power to you
Be desired by all, wanted by many. Ravaged by your choice.
It feels bad when the person your with looks at other people and then comments on their good looks in front of you. Am i not what you'd prefer to be with? Are you looking for better options? It creates insecurity and it's hurtful and unloving.
I’ve struggled with this a lot in my relationship. And it was actually one of the milder reasons I took a break from the relationship for a while. The looking never really bothered me. But the comments in person and on social media did get under my skin a bit…. And I would definitely consider myself as someone who is very confident and very attractive (physically and emotionally). At the end of the day I believe that’s why he chose me. And I KNOW what I bring the the table is unmatched. Yea it is annoying but Truly believing in yourself will pull you out of the funk when it gets to you.
I totally agree. My bf said last week that a female friend of mine has more sex appeal than another female friend. I went out a few days ago with my friends and yesterday he asked me if my female friends met a new guy at the club. I didn’t go to the club but Why would he want to know if she met someone or talked to someone there! I was hurt and felt so jealous. Do you think it’s normal? I told him How i felt and He said I’m not attracted to her, i choose you in 20 or 30 years from now. I still feel hurt, don’t know what to think
Reclaimed your lover after the incident. Be the desired girl he once chose. Be desired by all and screw him by choice.
These types of comments are a complete turn off and deal breaker for me. I know we all notice when someone is attractive but there is nothing constructive about making hurtful comments in front of your partner.
personally I don’t want to ever hear about him finding another woman attractive nor do I want him to think someone else is more attractive than I am. that’s the thought that really crushes me and drives my jealousy. I find someone else attractive time to time but it’s always casual and never do I “ogle” at someone. I feel like I only have eyes for him and I’ve never found anyone more attractive than he is and I wish for the same respect. I don’t care that he might have a thought here and there but I just don’t want it to be obvious nor more than what he thinks about me.
doctor dakoko I agree 100%
GIRL THISDNFKF
Welp, you'll be having a hard time then. Part of a relationship is acceptance and trust, there will always be someone who may be better than you regarding looks, that doesn't mean your SO will breakup with you, no one is perfect, and if your SO may find others attractive doesn't mean he is this hypergamous beast who fucks every women who is more attractive.
This
This is not the way things are. The moment someone else FEELS attraction for someone else but rationally chooses their partner, it doesn't mean they are choosing out of love. The moment you truly find someone else sexually atractive is the moment you let in the possibility of fantasizing about someone else other than your partner. This is abnormal, no matter how many excuses we find (men, biology, yata-yata-yata). When you truly love someone from deep down your heart there is no way you could possibly find someone else more attractive from a sexual pov. You can admire a nice body, yes, like a nice sculpture, but sexual attraction for another other than your current partner shows a character that struggles to remain in the relationship due to some other benefits.
but don't you agree that even if they are choosing you now, that the fact they find other qualities attractive that you don't posses, increases the likelihood that they will stop choosing you sooner rather than later?
I have same perception of this too.. it mostly temporary situation, whenever there is a possibility of “better option” then good luck
I hate the “but who are they coming home to at the end of the day?” “who are they choosing?” mentality because it’s more like they’re settling for me when they’re attracted to someone else because they don’t want to go through the breakup, being single, trying to get with the people they find attractive etc.. Like ... it’s not choosing, it’s settling. they’re settling for you but they have their eyes out for others
Right
This..
Nobody wants a man to just settle for us. If my partner is attracted to other people,if they flirt with them I feel it can open the door to infidelity. When you know they are attracted to other people and it's obvious it lowers your self-esteem and can do some damage
What's the line to disrespect? Real life "checking someone out" and online "liking" women's pictures and commenting their desire while in a relationship? ( Both are a deal breaker for me.)
but what if they are at the end of the day with me because the hotter woman doesnt give him a chance??
Hmmmmm...not really agreeing on this one Matthew. If my partner were to tell me about his attractions all the time (especially sexual ones), I would think he wasn't really into me. It is one thing to quietly think those things but to actually say them out loud is another. It can make even the most secure woman question things over time. I don't think many men would put up with their girl telling them they were sexually attracted to another guy. (Unless of course they were into threesomes etc.) They say looking is harmless but how often are we tempted by that chocolate eclair we keep staring at in the bakery window and then eventually go in and buy one? Maybe not the best analogy but you get where I'm going... :)
I agree with u but I guess sometimes u have to make some sacrifice to deal with the way yr man is. It's really hurt with comments like that but if yr man is like what he is, then I guess you have to find some reassuring way to accept it. That's why I came across this advice from Matt's vid, although it doesn't help my continue jealousy, at least it'll reassure me that I'm not losing out of the relationship. Thank you Matt.
+Karen Taijeron I was jealous in the past with guys who I didn't trust or feel very secure with because I was more invested in them than they were with me. I learned to put my self respect as a priority and not have to sacrifice my feelings or self worth for any man. I am in a very happy relationship now with a nice guy who puts me first. There is no talk about other women or sexual comments. We all have our tolerance levels but when things in your relationship constantly affect your emotions, it's not always a healthy place to be.
Dear Sybersue thinking about them Is not okay.
Maybe they're still with u because that other person they're attracted to isn't accessible for them... that jealousy comes exactly from the fear they might end up stopping choosing u once they get the access to that other person. I think it would better if u're with someone and u start being attracted to someone else, don't show it coz it hurts and the one u're with doesn't need nor want to know u're attracted to a particular person even though they know in a general way it may happen.
Is just disrespectful.
What if... Hes still choosing and staying with me cause he has no choice? And the person he's attracted isnt attracted yet with my partner? What if? What it hes just staying with me for sexual pleasures and just for some companion reasons? :(
Love is about choice, everybody got flaws, there is no perfect, you were of agency to be with him, and he was to. Part of love is accepting others for their flaws. You can make these what ifs all you want, if you're really worrying why not communicate with your SO about it.
This dude above me is trying to say that even if he's just staying with you for sexual pleasures & companionship it's still love because he made that choice to be with you. 🤣
It is very disrespectful and makes the woman feel as if he finds everyone else attractive but her and as if she’s not enough for her man when he blatantly ogles other women. My new boyfriend did that to me the other day and I was tempted to break up with him on the spot. It greatly diminished who I thought he was.
heisabletodo I don’t ever want to be with a guy. Unless you look like barbie they won’t really respect you or appreciate you fully. Unless you look like Marilyn Monroe or something. The ideal beauty
I get that not all guys are the same and relationships are not only about looks, but there’s plenty of men who won’t appreciate you properly unless you’re typically beautiful. And I don’t want the chance of that happening.
heisabletodo Are you still with him?
@@katiewaity3413 actually it doesn't matter how physically good you look like. Men can still look at other women. They are just horny and act before even thinking.
Immediately gives me the ick
Anyone with a single degree of self-respect would bin a disrespectful partner who has too much eye for others. It's evident there's a weakness in them, and therefore in your relationship itself. Yep, everyone is human, everyone notices other attractive people. However, it's how we react to the situation. Respect your partner by averting your eyes. Better still, look the other way, switch off to the 'temptation', and certainly don't 'track' them by pivoting your body or even following them with your eyes. As for those who'd make a remark about the object of their desire... well, don't fool yourselves, don't believe it's all about 'who they go home with' or 'who they choose to be with'. Truth is, given a chance, it's likely he/she would dump you if a seriously 'better option' was made available. So, cut loose and get away from disrespectful partners, put distance between you. Get rid of anyone who give others 'too much eye. For if you don't, one day it'll be you who ends up with a hurt heart and shedding the tears. Remember, if you truly love someone, then only have 'eyes' for them.
cuhurun iceni I broke up with my boyfriend because I was sad while with him because of accomodation issue at university - my dorm room haven’t been sorted out - as a senior student I relied on him to assist but as we were walking in the grocery store , he looked at another woman and I broke down and cried because as much as I was struggling with Uni, I could feel my relationship ending in that moment and I was convinced that he was no longer happy with me because had he been, he wouldn’t even look at other woman. I’m sad because he was the love of my life but in the same breath I can’t shake how he made me feel - inferior / unattractive / unimportant in that moment. My stomach turned !!! I felt sick!! And I’ll never forget that day. How do I move on?? I love him. It seems like something so minor cause he didn’t cheat!! But ...
Angela Modifo I can understand. Where are you at relationship wise now?
cuhurun iceni if you truly love - you don’t find other people attractive . Even if You know that they are considered attractive by the standards or find an aspect about them attractive . But actually attracted to that person personally ?
Leave him !!!! Firstly - everyone is physically beautiful and unique in their own way - even if they don’t attract people . Secondly - Massive difference between recognising that someone is attractive according to standards or realising that someone is desirable or someone is somebody’s taste and even mildly admiring an aspect of someone- that’s okay ! What’s not okay is - actually personally physically and emotionally attracted to someone , where you are LUSTING OVER THEM AND FANTASISING OVER THEM. If !!! A man like that isn’t in love at all ! It’s okay to say “ I like muscles and this person has muscles “ or “ I like blonde girl and I like this girls colour of blonde “ or “I’m Into thick and this figure is thick or I like skinny and this girl is skinny “ or “ Im into tall men and this man is tall” or “ i am Into short girls and this girl is short “ or “ I like thin or thick lips and this girl happens to have that and I like that type of lips “ - it’s okay to have a type and like a certain aspect of someone ! But more than that is not okay at all ! Actually personally attracted to that individual - while in a serious relationship Is soooo not okay at all !DUMP HIM !!!!
No it’s not in a mans nature - if he truly loves . Most men aren’t in love and most men can’t truly love . If a mans nature can’t be in love and fully attracted to one person instead of attracted and fantasising about others - then why are they in a relationship ? Leave the relationship and do what you want .
@@Jay-cy4js Thank you for saying it. You're absolutely right
I Totally agree. It’s Not only about choosing and who will they go home with. 👩🏽
It’s about being committed with respect to your ONE and ONLY. Otherwise, why would Men bother to be in relationship, if they are going to stare at other females in front of their lady’s own presence.
I don't get it, nothing good can come out from sharing this sort of stuff with your girlfriend. No matter how hot or smart she is, there's always better hence the question why get in a relationship in the first place, especially at a young age. If you want to fuck around, just stay single, don't break a girl's heart. Once you're together, there's really no way around it,you have to act like she's special and pretend to not notice your surroundings while she's out with you, and it's not worth the effort, just break up with her. Not all men are the same, some love the stability and the comfort of relationships, some pimp it all their life, what's important is to be real with yourself and with her, avoid unnecessary drama.
true
If you have to pretend she is special, she isn't the girl for you in the first place. ;)
A husband should at least control his urge to check out other females in front of his wife. But sadly, some men do, including mine.
Well, there are beautiful women everywhere, nothing special about that, but a hot man is a rare sight. Women can be visual too. But the reasons I don't ogle at other men's attractive bodies is because I don't want to disrespect him or make him feel more insecure, with him always complaining about his fat neck, paunch & all. And bc I want to be loyal to him in every sense of the word. Physically, emotionally & visually. But if he doesn't stop I might do the same with other attractive men, just to let him know how it feels. After tolerating for years, I'm finally fed up of this behaviour.
But what if that person chooses you not because he 's more attracted to you than he is to other woman but merely because he can't get the other woman to be attracted to him
I’ve never heard in my LIFE a guy ever say “oh hey man, that girl over there is so hot but I can’t get her so I’m going to settle for whoever...” never heard it, ever, from the locker rooms to boys only chats. I don’t know if that helped or not but that’s my experience as a college senior.
@@mr.j3371 lmao, like a guy would ever admit he cant have someone.
@@LL-wu5ui lol, you need to talk to more dudes then. If a girl is way out of our reach… we don’t go for her
i have never had problem with this topic: "my man looking at other women"... the other day i saw my actual boyfriend watching with cute eyes a girl i actually find so cute... and my heart was in pain... and i felt ashamed of myself for being silly about it... but it really hurts! it was the first time i felt something like that. i believe it also happened because i am SOOO in love with him. i wish i can control that feeling when this happens next time. or if they talk to each other, because she is in the same social circle....... help. lol.
It doesn't matter if a woman is beautiful.. If a man is so weak that he looks at others, he will keep doing it.. The question is if a woman that is together with a man, doing this, if she can tolerate it.
If not. Then leave.
Don't be in the same circle.
@@redroses8025 This is such a wise advice ngl
I know I won't be attracted to someone else as I don't see other people as an option. If you're happy where you are, you won't need to cast your eye around
Okay so a husband is eye fucking ever hot girl that walks by but that’s okay, because he’s coming home to his wife ever night?
WTF?! It’s not okay. It’s super disrespectful.. TO THE CORE! When you’re in a serious relationship.. Control yourself!!
Yeah, bit one can't help but have the thought cross ones mind that they would choose the other person of they felt the other person were attainable.
Heather Estes yea i agree - some guy have a chip on their shoulder and would date down - doesnt really mean they truly love the girl
Heather Estes Why would a supermodel choose your husband or boyfriend? Why would your partner want to risk losing you too?
+Heather Estes This is so true :(
+Heather Estes...so you have evidence beyond a shadow of a doubt that your statement is the absolute truth? That your partner would go off with the person they found attractive if that person was attainable? What makes you put that assertion upon your partner when it is your insecurity that is arising?
That's true.
This advice is wonderful, but only works if a) the partner is respectful and sensitive in the way that they are attracted to others b) if the partner is honest and upfront about "choosing". Problems with jealousy arise most of the time when either or both of the above are not met. One can hardly blame a person to become insecure and worried if the partner ogles at others openly, even commenting on how attractive they are, or if they cheat on you and keep it a secret. At the end of the day, our very lives are at stake from a cheating partner (getting AIDs etc). So this is no small matter that we "need not worry about".
It's utterly disrespectful for my man to gawk at other woman in my presence. He doesn't need to look like a horny, sex craving womanizer gawker when I'm not around him either. It's called respect for your woman!!! Learn it and don't tell us woman you cannot control it...ridiculous!!!
Do not agree! I am attracted and also choosing my boyfriend. There’s no chance I could be attracted to someone and going home to someone else. That’s disrespectful.
What if that someone doesnt want you in their home 😂
Love you, but I disagree. Sorry
Sometimes Matthews advice is clearly intended for the benefit of men. I remember him saying in one of his videos "sleep with him as soon as possible" in order to keep a mans interest. He also teaches that it's acceptable to be in "causal relationships." So this vid isn't a surprise. Don't get me wrong, he has good stuff too but it's good to look at the status of the "guru" for their own progress. From what I can tell... He's not married and never spoke of any serious relationship that he's in. Happily married relationship gurus are more reliable ...unless you are looking for more "casual" relationships.This guy seems to try to normalize some sleazy behaviors, probably to justify his own lifestyle. Maybe he practices the "causal" lifestyle.
i agree with you
+RWREALESTATEUSA.COM Visit us to same thousands because my profile pic makes my gender clear enough and it also isn't to do w this topic anyhow.
I disagree and here is why. Many people I've known in relationships admit that they settle for someone they do not want, but is easy to be around or that they are so use to or they have such low self esteem that they stay. Here's what matters: they are bringing up sexual attraction in front of you. If you tell them you don't appreciate it, and they continue, they are disrespecting a simple request to respect someone's self confidence in a romantic relationship. What NEED is there to say something you know makes your spouse jealous and feeling low? I say if someone points out they are attracted to someone else on a date with you, do the same to them. If they don't like it, point out the double standard. If they don't care, then don't worry about doing the same thing to them.
The idea is that he is definitely hurting her, deliberately.
Ooh look at all the women getting worked up over this! I think it would be inaccurate to say ALL these women commenting are insecure, needy, jealous partners. I have to join in the disagreement. Intuitive women can see a man's intentions plain as day, and it's quite clear when it's simply looking because the person is right in front of you or otherwise. Women who love and respect their partners must FIRST love and respect themselves, and this includes not being with a man who is constantly reviewing the menu for the next best option. And yes, we always notice, and even the most confident of us still cringe a little every time. But I love you Matt! And good GOD are you one attractive man. :)
Does it matter if they choose you because their other choice is not available? No one likes to think they're "sloppy seconds"......
And this is why women begin to consider other women for a romantic relationship. I've seen it way too many times. I don't care how different men are from women. Respect is respect! And I refuse to feel like I am someone's "consolation" and they had to "settle" with me. If someone is not enough, then don't marry, don't ruin other peoples' lives. Keep your lame, flirty, cheating way of life, but leave a serious relationship completely out!!! Attraction is the first step towards infidelity and it is lack of loyalty.
Exactly. It all starts with "just looking", God knows what goes on in their brain.
"men are visual. Men are like that. They can't help themselves. Its natural and normal" REALLY? Then it should also be normal for women to be okay with having a partner that constantly looks at other women. NO??
but what if they are constantly looking at other women when you're with them?
Handan Kanburoglu exactly! I don't mind but when it's all the time, when we walk somewhere or go to a public place, I feel like it's a lack of respect.
***** Your right. Its not just lack of respect also it makes you feel worthless and not special. been through it and broken up because of it but the other guys that im seeing now dont do that and it feeels so goood !
Hope all turns out well for you :)
***** Its true that he isn't talking about players. He talked about who we are realistically as a human being, we feel attractions or admires toward others. It applies whether you're single or not.
***** But to answer your question, don't feel threatened by another attractive woman who walks into the room, pretend to not notice her, he will see
your confidence cause she only has as much power as you give her.
And never assume that you're not attractive enough.
Cause even a beautiful women can look ugly if she is insecure.
Your 100% right, but if hes constantly doing it, it makes you feel unappreciated and not special and thats exactly what you shouldnt feel by your man. I understand if he does it to a normal extent then yes ur definitely right. Andromeda Krisela What do you think? Have you been through it before?
I'm glad I've turned to Jesus. I will never go back to men in society. It never worked for me. It's too bad people haven't come to the lord.
Amen.
It would trigger my partner if I purposely looked and checked out other women in front of her , you can’t do that , it’s disrespectful
It's also possible to acknowledge someone is conventionally good looking without feeling sexual attraction. Sunsets are very beautiful, but not at all sexually attractive
u can’t fuck the sunset or cheat on your wife with it
Thanks lord someone actually said it. I can see there are attractive men but that doesn't mean I am attracted to them. It is just an observation. But apparently for men it doesn't work like that cause they be lusting after every remotely attractive female they come across.
Anyway I've finally come to the conclusion that loving a man is the biggest waste of time and energy and I will not give myself to someone who is constantly looking for the best next thing. Like go tf and have it. That's why I can't be bothered with them no more and I couldn't be happier
The point is that he is choosing you because no other girl wants him , he knows it and he start watching hot photos por videos to feel himself better
😂 the things girls come up with... You really think that’s the reason? Interesting...
@@mr.j3371 that is the reason lol
@@jaskirankaur731 yes becuz you surveyed all the men and that was answer. Get outta here
@@mr.j3371 speaking from my own experience.. no offense to all the men so can you calm the fuck down bro and get a life?
@@mr.j3371 plus the comments here are enough to rest my case man.
A lot of people in the comments keep saying that they disagree because they find disrespectful that their partner would always look at other women when they were out in a public place or always talk about other girls to them. But that's so different. That is basically choosing others before you. It's fine if once in a while they talk about a co worker whose a girl that's a friend, on how much they admire their leadership or independence. If they're constantly texting that person, constantly calling, mentioning and anything else about that person or doing that about other people. Than he isn't CHOOSING you. That's not choosing you.
I love all the supportive female energy in these comments
Another thing that’s so wrong about all of this “he’s coming home to you” BS is how on earth are women supposed to feel secure in a relationship like that?! How could I put my efforts, money, heart, life, future, plans for family or a house together, or anything else that requires mutual support from your SO, on the lines of what I have to put up with is someone who “might” come back home, or “might” go off with the woman his jaw just dropped for?! It’s ideologies like this that allow cheating and break homes. And in this world with opportunity to micro cheat and full on cheat rife, it’s getting easier and easier to break down great relationships. I imagine a not-too-distant-future where no one has relationships anymore, and we all just bang around with whoever we please, everyone is just a means to an end to getting whatever need you want met by whoever wants to meet it…
In this day and age though... I have to disagree. If my boyfriend is at work, liking girls photos all day, everyday on instagram, photos of girls he thinks are hot, giving the occasional comment on an instagram models page.... that's disrespectful, that makes me instantly close myself off. I am the type of person who is not phased by physical traits. I used to be, but I realized that people's physical appearences are temporary and completely MEANINGLESS. Your physical traits might give someone an idea of your health maybe, as in if you workout or eat well, but other that that, it means nothing. Only your personality matters. Because of this mindset I have, I don't follow any men based off of the fact that I find them attractive. I literally only follow people that inspire me. I don't walk down the street and say oh he's hot, I literally do not have thoughts like this. And if I had a boyfriend, he is the only one ever on my mind, not just out of respect, but because I literally don't even think about anyone else. Everyone makes such a big deal about their partner being loyal, but they mean with their body; they don't want their partner having sex with someone else, and of course no one would!!! But, you don't want your partner's mind to be loyal too? You want to be home, and have your boyfriend at the bar with his guy friends, talking about who the hottest chick there is? You want your boyfriend looking at picutures of women's asses all day while he's at work? You want him watching his favorite pornstar? These thoughts... it's all fascination. He is fascinating about other women. I don't want a man like that, nor will I ever be able to love a man like that fully. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Guys lust too much... they have wandering eyes.... it's not acceptable lol. I would genuinely rather be alone for the rest of my life, surrounded by friends, family, and pets, than be with a man who has this type of behavior or mindset. I am not going to settle for someone simple minded. And unfortunately most men are this simple minded, they can't even comprehend this type of unconditional love.
I love what you're saying....however, I dislike that old line, "they are choosing you". The reason I don't favor that line is because many, MANY guys "choose" you because they don't think they can "get" the other person. Let's just be honest.
Being honest right now, I think that logic is coming from the female mind. In all my years I’ve never heard a guy say he’s settled for a girl because the hot one was out of reach. From the locker rooms to chats I’ve had over the years, not one guy. Keep in mind I’m a college senior now and I’m a guy involved in athletics so I know a thing or two about this, just saying.
@@mr.j3371 I totally appreciate your input. It's nice to hear your take on things coming from your exact background as well. In my experience however, I have alot of male friends. I'm very close with them and we have deep conversations about a plethora of topics, one of them being romantic relationships and I assure you that the whole "settling" thing has been a major topic.
But I do believe that you may have something when you say this logic is coming from the female mind. As you've stated, you're around plenty of guys and this has never been a subject brought up. I feel that possibly say, my male friends, find it easier to talk to a female about thise sorts of issues. I mean, being a male and admitting to other males that they're just settling on the girl they're with doesn't seem like a go-to topic in the locker room, you know what I mean?
I've now had around 5 close male friends admit to me that although they have feelings for their partners, their choice woman "got away" or they've simply admitted that they would rather be with A, B or C. But again, this is my perspective. I've only come to the conclusion in my initial comment because of my own experiences. Have a good day =)
I didn't agree with you mathew! because a guy can be with his girlfriend and not with the women he is really attracted to because he knows she's out of his league! he can't be with her maybe because he knows she will never accept him or be with him so he settles for less
I don't want to be "chosen" like choosing a candy in a candy store, I want to be loved and respected, and part of that respect is having a man who understands that when they openly flirt with other women it hurts me! It 👏hurts👏 me! And no that doesn't make me a crazy jealous girlfriend, it makes me human because I know I can't build trust with a man if he gives me no reason to trust him.
A partner who loves you will make an effort to not hurt their partner, they will make an effort to let you know you are loved and care for! And everything I just said also applies to both girlfriend and boyfriends, it works both ways.
Yep, I really like your comments!
Most of the times you never settle with the person you really want. You are really lucky if you do. I hate this thing men like to play, trying to put the girl that actually loves him down so they can feel better about themselves and in power. Then they pull the " I'm with you ", "I choose you " to justify it ugh I'm done with these sick games, I want to be with a confident mature men, who respects his woman enough to know that if he really loves her he won't try to hurt her. And I know he will find somebody attractive, yes we all do, there's nothing wrong with that.
But is there any need to verbalise it ? Is disrespectful !
Destroying your self confidence and making you feel worthless while he seems to enjoy it. Hell no !
what are these men....pokemon trainers? i chooose you! then they trap us in the cage called life and oogle other women. we fear they will choose them too. that means choosing them over you. ogling like a kid in a candy store is fine as long as they don't expect you to get in bed with the devil. in other words as long as they don't use words that actually make you feel disrespected or like a third wheel emotionally.
@@AccidentalWarrior144 Omg another comment of your that I love! You're hysterical🤣🤣 massive lol @ pokemon trainers
It will never stop , there's just lies and secrets and I'm fed up. 😭
When he's attracted to someone else. So what if he still chooses his partner. It's still a red flag because if he knows she feels like she the only one he chooses then he knows he's gained her trust. And thats when he's headed in the other woman's direction. And this is so true.
If a person cares about their other than they will care of about the persons self esteem and sense of security. Looking the other way takes no real self control at all especially if you had any care for your other at all. My moms husband would check out women in front of her all the time. His brother brought a playboy picture of my moms husbands ex and hung it on the wall. He also let women sit on his lap. These things and even much lesser things are damaging and if a person is ok with making their "love" experience this pain than there clearly isn't any real love there.
Lana del rey!
It’s all about respect, is not about who he is choosing, I can find other man attractive but at the end of the day I choose to respect my partner and not to do something that is going to hurt them or make them feel uncomfortable.
Sorry, but this is bullsh*t. Both sexes have attraction to other people, but it’s a deliberate choice to exercise self-control and commitment, to not do anything about it, including making comments or ogling. This was an oversimplified excuse for rude and hurtful behavior. Someone can make comments to their partner about another person’s attractiveness and break their neck looking at someone else, but as long as they choose you at the end of the day it’s OK? Ridiculous.
other women are hot. if they're hotter than you find someone hotter than him!🔥
100% 😂
Lol why the hostility?
@@extraterrestrial1999 I found my boyfriend liking modles pictures which I thought was okay because it was gigi hadid and everyone like that but I was a little jelous in a funny way🤣 so I had a plan that I would like pictures of hot men right infront of him🤣🤣 and he saw and was like wth😂 so I said to him you like modles pictures and I'm okay with it and I think I blew his mind🤣😂
@@siobhangallagher2576 apparently my ex cheated on me with his ex and then dumped me...so the signs were clear that he was disloyal and i was just fun for him.
I won’t compete.
Period.
If a man wants another,I’ll step aside and move on with my life.
Well, He only comes home to you because the other women may not be interested or perusing him. Give a man the opportunity and he likely will not "come home to you". Nothing tests loyalty like opportunity👍🏻
I wonder did anymore share this brilliant video with their caring bf? Cuz I kinda want to now. I watched this vid long time ago, now I watched it again to just to remind myself from time to time. And feel so grateful to my bf. This is such a helpful wake-up call for all women out there. And notice the good has been around us. Namaste.
Every person has self-control so i don't see why guys can't have eyes for one woman only. Yeah I get it if its an accident I know women are everywhere but please keep it to yourself I know theres definitely prettier women than me but don't rub it in my face. Its not jealousy its degrading
My man will look at woman all the time. They look nothing like me. He tells me when he smells a woman's perfume and how good she smelled, not the perfume, okay I can understand words, but I just slink down a bit, he sees a woman in a dress and he stairs a bit to long I poke him in the arm, he will say he likes dresses, I ware them and he says how it could be shorter or I bet that you would look good in that one. Untill he sees a undesirable woman in a dress then he will say, o maybe I don't like dresses. I slink down even more when he goes and talks to woman that he knows and all of a sudden I'm not there or he justifys it with I have known her for a long time we are just friends. I tell him how I feel but it's like he gets off on making me what he thinks is jelousy, but to me it's just him being rude.
I'm late to this comment I know...but you dumped him right? How are you doing now?
@@tsukki9645 hello. He has gotten better. I had a talk with him and maybe even threw a few looks at other men of my own, just to let him see that it's damaging to ones self esteem. He don't want to lose me and so he has gotten better. I like a guy in uniform so now we just joke about that when a cop is around. I can see why he looks, but to make it obvious is creepy I told him. He had been single for way to long, 19 years, he had really bad days in that period and is scared to be alone. I have not found anyone that I really like so I had to make it better for me or yes I would have left.
@@pattycake8272 I'm glad to know that things have gotten better for you. If he is controlling his behaviour, it's fine I guess. Wishing all the best to both of you😊 But remember one thing, you are beautiful, so never compromise your happiness for anything.☺️
@@tsukki9645 thank you. It felt good to tell my story. It made me think about my problem and go threw with the salutations I needed to take. Like a diary. It's nice to have some feed back and have it be good. Thank you again. I hope the best for you.
I think it totally matters if your partner feels the need to comment on someone else being attractive. At the end of the day it matters who you choose yes, but, you're supposed to make your partner feel good and at the end of the day if your partner chooses you but doesn't make you feel good what does it matter ? You have self control to not check out other women, you definitely have the self control to keep your mouth shut about the ones you ind attractive. It's disrespectful to the person you choseeee to be with and care for, and protect, and make them feel good. Your partner made a commitment to you, your focus should be on them. I know if I have the respect and self control to not do something like that, I should be able to have a partner who's just as respectful. If not stay single and you don't hurt nobodyyyy.
My boyfriend and I will comment on attractive people in movies and it’s all fun and games, but I personally hate when a man openly comments on a woman’s appearance in real life. I’m not interested in controlling anyone and if he’s more interested in checking out hot women than being respectful to me, I’m out. It may be ‘insecure’ but I just don’t jive with that. Go be single or be with a woman who’s polyamorous. I’ve been burned badly in the past and certain behaviours are just red flags and not worth my time.
You know what, dude? NO.
This is just another man helping to perpetuate other men’s disrespectful behaviours. You have a woman, she doesn’t like it that you look at other women. Maybe she’s raised the issue and you’ve carried on to shit all over her boundaries, so you then don’t feel so bad for calling her a “controlling psycho.” Either stop doing it, or at least get better at being discreet about it. Very few women actually enjoy being made to feel inadequate pieces of shit by their significant other. That’s in our “nature.”
And this “he’s still coming home to you!” What, you think men who cheat stop going home once they’ve done it?
Bullshit. I don't want a man to "choose" me if he cannot respect me enough to keep his eyes to himself. It's so rude. I'm a very secure woman. But no. I would never check out another man. And also woman feel other men checking them out. And its so awkward if they are with their woman. I promise you guys, good women don't find it flattering. We find it uncomfortable
The "choosing" mister, is when you choose to respect that you are walking with someone who want to tell the world that you are hers. Lookong at other people when you are with your gf or wife is plain disrespectful to her and to yourself. TO focus your intention on her sensitivities and not your indulgence is one way of caring for the relationship. If your gf/ wife does not react to it,I am telling you they're not as invested. Tell me if Im wrong after 5 years, and go get a more understanding of the woman's side.
Very disappointed in how he presented this. Like other commenters said...I don't want to be a consolation prize, I'm not an option, and I don't want to be what is distracting the guy from whoever he really wants.
I was looking for help with comparing myself to other women and thought this video would be of great help. Sadly disappointed. Instead of helping me with any issues, it's only magnified them and it seems as if he's making excuses for 'how men are'. So freakin annoying. Men don't need anymore 'help' with excusing their behavior.
Bruh it’s still disrespectful AF… major 🚩 flag… men don’t like it so why should women put up with that shit?? I don’t think so… wandering eyes mean you’re an option
Good point
A guy I've just started dating, told me he thought this woman on a reality show, was really good looking. I was not happy about it as I'm 58 and this girl was 26.
Can you believe, we were on a boat having lunch last Sat and this chick turned up on the next boat in a skimpy bikini. Of course, new man couldn't keep his eyes off her. He told me I was jealous.
I think I'll dump him. He had 2 affairs on his wife of 16 years and dated a stripper. I don't trust him. He's 61.
It's not fair that women have gotten prettier and men have gotten sloppier.
At all times we have a choice. If your man tells you he thinks some other woman is hot over and over again, relax it's nothing serious. If you get tired of hearing it, just mention how you think some other guy is hot and why. If that other hot guy has nothing in common with your man even better. Your guy will get the message and stop bringing up that other woman because he most likely doesn't want to hear about who else is hot to you.
"Choosing" is not where the romance is. They are "choosing" You, because they can't get the one, they wanted to be "chosen by".
haha yeah exactly they didn't choose shii*** ! :D
I always think, if this is what they do in front of you, imagine what they do behind your back. I'm nowhere near a young, super attractive woman, and can tell you when men aren't with their wives and girlfriends, they openly look. I mean is the fact of just not doing it in front of your face the issue? Want to have a boyfriend who women in society know is checking several of them out openly when you aren't around? There is such a thing as self control, and when men look att me this way, don't find it a compliment (the way they think we would take it), I find it tacky, unnecessary, disrespectful, and lacking character. Stop acting like you cannot control it.most women a really hate being randomly checked out. Yeah, men and women are different.
If our partner chooses to look elsewhere, the day will come when they will no longer choose us. We can't be 10 or 100 hotter girls. We are us, they either want us or they want more. You are simply justifying lusting. And to say the train has to crash before we get off is stupid. If they are looking on the todays, they will be leaving on the tomorrows.
I'll never understand why guys think its acceptable to comment about other women in front of the girl they like/ girlfriend. It's extremely disrespectful and it's just common sense not to. I rarely ever see girls lusting over men like that in front of their SO.
Would be great if you could do a video on the damage social media causes to relationships, particularly similar to this issue with the problem where men follow women on social media who post sexual content of themselves in underwear etc and with today's obsession with cosmetics all these women seem to have unrealistic bodies that the average women is by no realistic standards is able to achieve. How do you get past that in a relationship? It's worse because their viewing of these women is made public by following them, likes etc, porn is usually done in private, but now it's as if men are welcomed to publicly ogle at other women and I feel it is disrespectful in a relationship to do so.
no! I disagree Matthew. I would never put the man I care about or love at the same level or above him. I would protect his heart and when, the man I care about said some other woman was “hot” even if she’s out of reach, I felt hurt inside despite my confidence and despite the fact that he finds me hot too-it hurt and felt disrespected because It made me feel unsafe. I lost trust in him. Maybe he doesn’t realize how hurtful that is and was just giving a matter of fact comment. I don’t know, to me it’s insensitive and I would never say that to him about another man.