i now take any silent treatments as a clear sign that any relationship between myself and the other person is now nonexistent; especially if the person doesn’t do enough (or anything at all) to rectify the situation. you wanna act like a ghost? okay, you can be just like a ghost then. dead to me.
Then they wanna re-enter the scene like nothing happened to waste your precious time and energy. Implementing N🚫 Contact will definitely be the best move to put this person on the extinct list.
They might rectify the situation temporary to gain control again. They then look as the nice person and you the vilain for avoiding them. Im sorry you have had to experience this. I hope you now are surrounded by people who wish you well
My ex was the king of this. No matter how attentive, caring, or anything I was…. I do one thing he didn’t like, he would disappear for days but post on social media. If I wanted to talk about something that was bothering me, disappear for days. We were long distance too which made it worse. I still struggle with coming to terms with that’s it’s not my fault. I don’t wish this on anybody
Girl u gotta let him go. You don’t love him, it’s a trauma bond, no different than a drug addiction. Stop allowing him to do this to do. Cut him off go no contact, and focus on healing your trauma ❤️ good luck to tou
It’s a passive aggressive, manipulation tactic. It’s a way to emotionally control or make another person feel guilty. The way to react is no reaction to the silent treatment. Remain matter of fact about the silence. Don’t ask any questions as to why they are not talking, etc. Don’t let it break you- It’s a perfect time to self focus.
This is why so many people misuse "No Contact". You don't use No Contact as a form of silence to get an ex back. No Contact is to be used to heal and grow as a result of a breakup. So if you are using the silence of no contact to get a ex back, you too are practising manipulative /controlling/abusive behavior.
The silent treatment tells me .....They are going something they are not suppose to be going. Rather than saying I got someone else. Taking the coward road. Don't have time for their mind games. And testing me. Play on player.
I used the silent treatment when my ex was gaslighting every single word that left my mouth. When i spoke it was somehow used against me. No word could leave my mouth that was not challenged. So after a while, I stopped talking. I had nothing to say nor the energy to say it because every word would spark an argument. He would get annoyed when I didn't say anything and he would get annoyed when I said something. I chose the latter because the less words you speak the less evidence there is to argue about.
I’m screwed! I’m close to my 40’s & have waited so long to let go! Yes, silent treatment hurts a lot & worst thing is that these abusers NEVER take accountability. They blame the victim for everything! I’m mad at myself for withstanding this type of behavior for so long.😡
You're in good company. Alot of us overstayed past our usefulness like old dolls on a shelf. It's never too late to change. It yook me 30 yrs. The Lord opened a big door for me in the.form of the Other Woman & I took advantage of the timing and left asap.
Guys are good with giving the silent treatment. Vs talking it out they rather be quiet. Giving space is one thing but when he or she can go quiet for days without a text and goes MIA, let them be.. I cant speak for all but when I feel a way I will write an essay.. I need to work on that.. As it's easier for people to want to laugh and not want to deal with the issues at hand. More people need to do to others what they want done on them.. If you would not want the silent treatment done to you why do it to others? Common sense is not common
This is exactly what I have been going though for 15 years. He broke me. Walked into the lawyers office today and it felt like salvation. It’s finally going to end. I’m still so triggered by his silence. I need to watch these videos on repeat to get through without continuing to reach out to him. I blocked him on social media Wish I could block my cell from being able to call him
I had someone do this every time they were upset. I was always on edge, scared to say the wrong thing, even if I didn't do or say anything they would pull the silent treatment card randomly. Each time I ran to him and I regret it. He would scream suicide and when I would come he'd be all smiles. He would be sleeping with other women but as soon as I'd say anything it would be the waterworks and then the silence as repayment for him shedding tears. It's traumatizing and I did it to myself.
This individual is the carrier of drama and trauma you need to avoid via a total N🚫 Contact implementation. Your No Contact policy will make all the silent and senseless sh!t look like the silly nonsense that it is. N🚫 Contact is a superpower🔥
Yes this is extremely hurtful. No one who has experienced this will ever forget it. It speaks to a very, very poorly developed level of relationship and communication skills. Anyone who has any self respect will not tolerate this behavior.
The moment i speak up and i feel that the silent treatment is coming, I immediately feel sick like I need to throw up. I get back problems and my feet start to hurt. Its crazy how it effects you.
This was the number one thing that my ex did to me I felt everything that he mentioned anxiety, panic confusion it really messed with my mental health I couldn't understand why he would do this to me this video gave me a little clarity thank you
Yep. All of it. It was an awful eight years and I am so happy I found a way to heal and move forward. Thank you for being here to have these conversations. We need to let others know what this insidious behavior is and what it does. ✨
Thanks for sharing this video, it's appreciated. Yes you are right. What you are saying, it's a blessing in disguise, people like that have to be blocked! Blessings
Glad to hear the information on this.i have been through this in a relationship and with a friendship..never knew exactly what i did or didn't do.i try to check on them one more time then let them be..Grown people communicate. Cowards act like this...Time to move on..You said a mouthful"if you date while brokend" you settle.Women please know your worth and if i doing right and being a good woman well it's their lost.
I asked him to call me more...he would not budge...until he lost track of my everyday life and I was left in a puddle of tears when something I needed help with happened and he didn't even know where ro start with my tears :(
I def went thru the silent treatment and I admit I've done it to ppl. You talking about the dangers of dating from abandonment is huge for me, thank you.
This has happened to me in April. Almost broke me. But God!!! It was hard as ever though. Thought I was literally going insane trying to figure what I did.
That’s what they want. For your mind to be spinning wondering what it was that you did. I set a boundary and had it done to me. Second time he pulled it after that, I never spoke to him ever again. Walk away from this and heal your trauma wounds ❤️
I wasn't suicidal, but I wished that God would take me out of this world.....he shattered my soul one winter....I clung to my cat for comfort.....and wailed crying every night....
I truly appreciate the way you explain silent treatment. You truly get. Thanks. Checking a chicks temperature 🤒 can be a great lesson for the right narcissist. Lol
@@carmenkennedy4546 same.....BUT WE DIDN'T HAVE AN ARGUMENT....I just told him I wanted to celebrate this great gig I landed.....he ghosted me.....probably jealous because his favorite party is a pity party for all his failures....
Same...it's heartbreaking...especially when they break communication in mid stride and you think everything is ok....they know how to stab you in the heart.
First step is knowing it is their actions, not yours. You are not the problem. They are. And you know your self worth. That is how you go about healing.
I am going through this right now....this happened after I landed a great gig.....if I wasn't strong enough, it would mess me up on this really important music gig....I used to allow it to crush and torment me....
What if I just need some time before having a conversation with him. I’m giving the silence treatment because really I need it myself I’m not doing it to hurt him. He is the one who hurt me a lot
If someone gives me silent treatment, they might as well be silent for good
Strongly agree my friend 🤫💯🔥💥
It doesn’t feel good at all. That’s like treating someone like shit.
That’s the point. To treat you as if you don’t matter.
Exactly!
I gave them the same silent treatment in response…for good!
I mirror there behavior
i now take any silent treatments as a clear sign that any relationship between myself and the other person is now nonexistent; especially if the person doesn’t do enough (or anything at all) to rectify the situation.
you wanna act like a ghost? okay, you can be just like a ghost then.
dead to me.
Then they wanna re-enter the scene like nothing happened to waste your precious time and energy. Implementing N🚫 Contact will definitely be the best move to put this person on the extinct list.
My ex was like this.
💯👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
They might rectify the situation temporary to gain control again. They then look as the nice person and you the vilain for avoiding them. Im sorry you have had to experience this. I hope you now are surrounded by people who wish you well
My ex was the king of this. No matter how attentive, caring, or anything I was…. I do one thing he didn’t like, he would disappear for days but post on social media. If I wanted to talk about something that was bothering me, disappear for days. We were long distance too which made it worse. I still struggle with coming to terms with that’s it’s not my fault. I don’t wish this on anybody
I'm going through the same thing
@@carmenkennedy4546 you got this girl ❤️ it’s hard but it gets easier
@@tiffdawn4428 thank you so much, as a matter of fact, he is showing that behavior now, and I'm getting better by not texting and calling him.
Girl u gotta let him go. You don’t love him, it’s a trauma bond, no different than a drug addiction. Stop allowing him to do this to do. Cut him off go no contact, and focus on healing your trauma ❤️ good luck to tou
Girl I feel u . I dated the same time of person . Just love on
It’s a passive aggressive, manipulation tactic. It’s a way to emotionally control or make another person feel guilty.
The way to react is no reaction to the silent treatment.
Remain matter of fact about the silence.
Don’t ask any questions as to why they are not talking, etc.
Don’t let it break you- It’s a perfect time to self focus.
Great point!
Going through this situation. Makes me feel worthless. Always asking for forgiveness. I'm tired.....
Always asking for forgiveness like you said. Am tired of forgiving.
Stay strong, ypu don't have to ask for any forgiveness. You didn't do anything wrong. They took too much good and gave you too much evil.
This is why so many people misuse "No Contact". You don't use No Contact as a form of silence to get an ex back. No Contact is to be used to heal and grow as a result of a breakup. So if you are using the silence of no contact to get a ex back, you too are practising manipulative /controlling/abusive behavior.
End of day communication is key.. Can't say you want to communicate than give silent treatment.
that part 🎯
This ‼️‼️‼️
The silent treatment tells me .....They are going something they are not suppose to be going. Rather than saying I got someone else. Taking the coward road. Don't have time for their mind games. And testing me. Play on player.
It’s so damn painful.. I’m currently going through this rite now.. 😢😢😢
Yup! My silent is me being done and moving far away and never looking back.
It's downright childish all of this is very true I've been here. phew!😞❤️
Been there. It's crazy how it affects you before you realize what it is...
I used the silent treatment when my ex was gaslighting every single word that left my mouth. When i spoke it was somehow used against me. No word could leave my mouth that was not challenged. So after a while, I stopped talking. I had nothing to say nor the energy to say it because every word would spark an argument. He would get annoyed when I didn't say anything and he would get annoyed when I said something. I chose the latter because the less words you speak the less evidence there is to argue about.
Made me feel confused as IF I did something wrong ? Smh horrible
I’m screwed! I’m close to my 40’s & have waited so long to let go! Yes, silent treatment hurts a lot & worst thing is that these abusers NEVER take accountability. They blame the victim for everything! I’m mad at myself for withstanding this type of behavior for so long.😡
You're in good company. Alot of us overstayed past our usefulness like old dolls on a shelf. It's never too late to change. It yook me 30 yrs. The Lord opened a big door for me in the.form of the Other Woman & I took advantage of the timing and left asap.
Guys are good with giving the silent treatment. Vs talking it out they rather be quiet. Giving space is one thing but when he or she can go quiet for days without a text and goes MIA, let them be.. I cant speak for all but when I feel a way I will write an essay.. I need to work on that.. As it's easier for people to want to laugh and not want to deal with the issues at hand. More people need to do to others what they want done on them.. If you would not want the silent treatment done to you why do it to others? Common sense is not common
I used to be emotionally immature. I’m grateful for therapy and mentors
@@ScaryToRemarry Respect to you sir.
@@Sexyyredd78 thank you
This is exactly what I have been going though for 15 years. He broke me. Walked into the lawyers office today and it felt like salvation. It’s finally going to end. I’m still so triggered by his silence. I need to watch these videos on repeat to get through without continuing to reach out to him. I blocked him on social media
Wish I could block my cell from being able to call him
Go No Contact. There's lots of videos that will show how it's done. Good luck.
100 percent I dated women like this I couldn’t stand it tbh it was childish and ridiculous
Re-diculous!😒
I had someone do this every time they were upset. I was always on edge, scared to say the wrong thing, even if I didn't do or say anything they would pull the silent treatment card randomly. Each time I ran to him and I regret it. He would scream suicide and when I would come he'd be all smiles. He would be sleeping with other women but as soon as I'd say anything it would be the waterworks and then the silence as repayment for him shedding tears. It's traumatizing and I did it to myself.
This individual is the carrier of drama and trauma you need to avoid via a total N🚫 Contact implementation. Your No Contact policy will make all the silent and senseless sh!t look like the silly nonsense that it is. N🚫 Contact is a superpower🔥
You didn’t do that, he did. But it’s time for better.
Yes this is extremely hurtful. No one who has experienced this will ever forget it. It speaks to a very, very poorly developed level of relationship and communication skills. Anyone who has any self respect will not tolerate this behavior.
Intention is important. Please identify toxic behaviour and detach permanently.
The moment i speak up and i feel that the silent treatment is coming, I immediately feel sick like I need to throw up. I get back problems and my feet start to hurt. Its crazy how it effects you.
Ohhh I get you. Every time he used silent treatment on I had such an intense rush inside my body that my hands were shaking
Wow I went through this ; I’m so glad I’m on my healing journey.. probably the most painful thing you can ever go through
This was the number one thing that my ex did to me I felt everything that he mentioned anxiety, panic confusion it really messed with my mental health I couldn't understand why he would do this to me this video gave me a little clarity thank you
Yep. All of it. It was an awful eight years and I am so happy I found a way to heal and move forward. Thank you for being here to have these conversations. We need to let others know what this insidious behavior is and what it does. ✨
Completely accurate. This video is SO spot on!!!! 💯👏🏽 I’m so glad that there is a video to help others understand 💯👏🏽🙏🏽
I was guilty
Thanks for sharing this video, it's appreciated. Yes you are right. What you are saying, it's a blessing in disguise, people like that have to be blocked! Blessings
Its really distressing to receive the silent treatment. Youve given me clarity, thank you
Glad to hear the information on this.i have been through this in a relationship and with a friendship..never knew exactly what i did or didn't do.i try to check on them one more time then let them be..Grown people communicate.
Cowards act like this...Time to move on..You said a mouthful"if you date while brokend" you settle.Women please know your worth and if i doing right and being a good woman well it's their lost.
I asked him to call me more...he would not budge...until he lost track of my everyday life and I was left in a puddle of tears when something I needed help with happened and he didn't even know where ro start with my tears :(
@Ren Zenker.... me too
I def went thru the silent treatment and I admit I've done it to ppl. You talking about the dangers of dating from abandonment is huge for me, thank you.
I’m enjoying these new clips! You’re making them longer which is awesome! Thanks!
I agree!!!
Without question one hundred percent accurate. Once again. Thank you very much.
Straight Facts!!
This has happened to me in April. Almost broke me. But God!!! It was hard as ever though. Thought I was literally going insane trying to figure what I did.
That’s what they want. For your mind to be spinning wondering what it was that you did. I set a boundary and had it done to me. Second time he pulled it after that, I never spoke to him ever again. Walk away from this and heal your trauma wounds ❤️
I'm good I feel safe and secure single I'll just stay single
I waited 8 years to begin a relationship. Never expected and now I feel like an idiot for making a very bad choice. Thought I was ready
I take out and use my owm silent treatment. Works like magic
I tried that a while back....result---things went right back. They are good actors as well....and liars....
I'm so glad I didn't allow his ways to break me
I'm loving the insightful lessons 💯💫👌🏽 ❤️👍🏽
Really really glad i found you
You are so right that happened to me you are deep thank you I swear you helped me!!
Excellent! All scenarios covered. 🌟
Thank you. 🇨🇦
Yes 11 years almost committed myself into the hospital I thought I was loosing my y mind
I wasn't suicidal, but I wished that God would take me out of this world.....he shattered my soul one winter....I clung to my cat for comfort.....and wailed crying every night....
Yep. So hurtful 💔
Omg you are talking about my exact experience
Thanks for informing the general public on this behavior.
This hit home for me.
I truly appreciate the way you explain silent treatment. You truly get. Thanks. Checking a chicks temperature 🤒 can be a great lesson for the right narcissist. Lol
Absolutely correct 🎯🎯🎯🎲🎲
This was so good.🌸
I…. Currently happening and my approach is as per your recommendation. Validation that I’m healing properly. Yay…
I always enjoy listening to you...Raw and real!
I love you so much Derrick ❤️❤️
I am healing through therapy and I am doing the work, have been. Will continue
What if it’s to protect you? As in calm down Time? Space when each other is mad 😡 to SAVE the relationship from damaged words
TRUTH
Yes Derrick! This was me
Everytime we have a bad argument, this is what he does. He is doing it now
@@carmenkennedy4546 same.....BUT WE DIDN'T HAVE AN ARGUMENT....I just told him I wanted to celebrate this great gig I landed.....he ghosted me.....probably jealous because his favorite party is a pity party for all his failures....
Absolutely!
I had an ex years ago who did this while we were living together. On top of it, he also refused to pay his half of the rent
FACTS💯
I'm giving it right back to him he needs to get it together
Thanks Derrick.
Thank you for this.
Facts!
Yes I don't like confrontation and I don't want to rock the boat. And I need to think about things sometimes. But I engage more than I should.
I love you guys so much ❤️❤️
I'm getting it now
U preached on this one! ❤
I feel this way, right now.
Same...it's heartbreaking...especially when they break communication in mid stride and you think everything is ok....they know how to stab you in the heart.
This is true..!!!!
Unfortunately I am guilty of this
What if they don’t contact you by the time they said they’d be ready to talk?
Yes right now I'm mad as hell right
Help me before I......
I'm working hard to try and get my children back 💜 i have zero interest in playing mind games with anyone its a total waste of time
They all say, “you have to heal!” but never tell you how. Through therapy? IDK?
Through God
First step is knowing it is their actions, not yours. You are not the problem. They are. And you know your self worth. That is how you go about healing.
I am going through this right now....this happened after I landed a great gig.....if I wasn't strong enough, it would mess me up on this really important music gig....I used to allow it to crush and torment me....
To get a reaction
Perfect ❤
Are you referring to Ghosting here… just curious 🤨
I agree silence is what drives people crazy
FACTS!!
I thouth this was titled my Narcissit treatment
And he turns his phone off
They don't like the silent treatment either its called , No contact.
Unless it's because you trying to leave an abusive situation
I ignore him when he does it
Yes
Can there be mirroring
Earth is not my world.
yesss
I agree
What if I just need some time before having a conversation with him. I’m giving the silence treatment because really I need it myself I’m not doing it to hurt him. He is the one who hurt me a lot
New sub**
☝🏾
What do u do when its really getting to u his silent treatment, and u want to call and call and they keep ignoring.
Find something else to do to keep yourself busy so you don’t go crazy. Sound happy and UNBOTHERED when you do here from him!!
Give them the silent treatment, DON'T answer the hoover. These people are sick demons.
❤️
Its also abusive .
What are your basis of this theory? 🤔