Why Narcissists Use The Silent Treatment To Manipulate You (How To Respond Correctly)
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- Опубликовано: 1 дек 2022
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If you've experienced narcissistic abuse, you may feel like you're dealing with lasting damage to your mental health. Narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling powerless, confused, and deeply hurt. But there is hope for healing and recovery. In this video, we'll explore the brain damage caused by narcissistic abuse and show you how to reverse its effects.
Check out my website where you can contact me to talk about one-to-one coaching and therapy - www.carolinestrawson.com
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I look forward to helping you on your journey to not just survive after narcissistic abuse but THRIVE
Love Caroline Strawson xoxo
#NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #Narcissist
The silent treatment is one of the most vile forms of abuse
Indeed it is!
Not replying within hours, short answered just like Ok, after you expressed your feelings. It's crazy, and you become insane eventually because of their behaviour. They just feed themselves on that.
It is extremely vile. It's like are they are human! Only demons do that
My mother has done this to me my entire life. When she brings it up now, she laughs about it because she thinks it’s funny because she thinks it worked. She would ignore me for days & even weeks until I apologized to her. She always said it was because I treated her badly. This coming from the mother who told me when I was about 8 years old, she said I know you love your father more than you love me. I was confused. But I knew that I was closer to my dad because he respected me & showed me love. I brought this up to her recently & she said because you always took your dads side. I have no idea what she’s talking about. I was never close to her because she always hurt me. I dont remember any good times with her. I’m sure there must be but I have blocked out almost my entire childhood. I dont remember most of it. I wish I could forget the bad memories & remember the good ones. I have never felt so alone since losing my dad. He was my best friend. She never reaches out to me unless she needs something. I check in on her a few days a week to make sure she’s ok. She loves to play tit for tat with certain people. She is so good to some people & so bad to others. And she calls herself a Christian. But a good person doesn’t play tit for tat, especially a Christian. No one is perfect but that is done intentionally to hurt people. So many people think she’s this lovable old Christian lady. Yeah until she’s angry. It’s always about her. I went 45 years without ever telling her how I felt. I have only told her a few things. Thinking maybe she would apologize but no, she just says, oh I was a bad Mom. Then I just say, no you weren’t. And it never goes anywhere. It’s absolutely awful. She always makes me feel bad when I just want to feel better.
I feel your pain and hurt and confusion it’s hell on earth and really hurts deeply to have a mother who can’t show or give love only take and bleed you dry. I have been I’ll my entire adult life running after looking after and draining my mental and emotional physical health. I honestly didn’t even realise this was my life because of childhood brain washing. Every relationship is hindered and hard because you don’t know how to love and respect yourself, so you attract people who treat you like crap. As this is how you feel about yourself. I am saying this to you because it sounds like me. Very sorry to say I am now 58 years old yes I can’t believe it myself. She still treats me like crap and she is worse with old age please look after yourself. Learn how to love yourself and not need her love or approval as it honestly will never come. Don’t waste your life as I have because a sadistic cruel vindictive narcissist mother brain washed me please don’t waste your life like I have Sending you lots of love like we all deserve even if narcissistic parents can’t give it give to yourself unconditional love ❤️
@@susanmeadows4680yes it is demonic; it helps to see it as such
I just keep telling him he's teaching me how to live without him
Same
Stop yelling him. As Nike says, "Just do it."
When a narc tried the silent treatment with me I pretended that I didn’t even notice they got upset because it showed them how pathetic they are
I think they get mad when you dont care. Usually silent treatment is all about control and conditioning and if the victim refuses to play into it then they srent getting their way and therefore have no control.
You can only control two things: your thoughts and actions. You are not responsible for anyone else's actions.
When the narcissist ignores me I am in heaven
I will say when he decides he wants to ignore me, as the days go by i start to feel happier and happier, whereas when he decides he actually wants to speak to me i feel all these impossible emotions too many at a time and soo many expressions and wishful thinking all to be ruined and chattered by crumb like responses i receive from the narc. which only grows within me a hopeless despair trying to grasp a black void of nothingness. Hey i think i kinda like it without all the games who needs it, atleast now I'm actually smiling. 😊😊
❤❤❤ me2
Damn right!
Yes, that is the best part. Been divorced for almost 5 years. It is so wonderful!
I don’t because it’s my mother.
Let's not make excuses for them.
They know what they're doing.
This is what they do .
It's about getting their own way.
It's simple, easy to see what their game is.
Think more of yourself.
You are entitled to better!!!!!!
💯🙏👍.
Thank you so much!!! I’ve had years of this type of treatment from my husband. You’d think I’d be over it by now and could handle it….I still get hurt tho. This video has really helped me to understand and yours and others comments are so incredibly helpful!!!!
I'll never beg anyone for anything. Tell them to get lost, your worth more than that.
When a person gives you the silent treatment get out of the relationship real silently lmmao
😂😂😂😂 HAHAHAHA😊
Yes take it as your opportunity to move on 🙏 in peace
When you realize how pathetic they are, you stop being bothered. They think they are punishing you putting you in Time Out but they are actually throwing a tantrum, as a sulky small kid who doesn't get his own way would do. Even so, their immaturity hurts you...if you let it. In any case, you deserve so much better. Slowly dig your way out of that prison.
💯 sulky small kid not getting his way and throwing a tantrum is exactly how I explained it earlier to someone. He’s 57. Pathetic, some people never grow up ever.
I was just on silent treatment for a week, even though I begged him to talk to me. He lured me back in with a vulnerable text and when I took the bait he yelled at me for 10 minutes last night. I said nothing. Now we’re back on punishment and the silent treatment is back in place. What he doesn’t know is that during the time that he’s been giving me the silent treatment, my best friend of 23 years unexpectedly died, and when he yelled at me I had just gotten home from her viewing. We buried her today. He doesn’t understand that we are now on no contact forever. But he’ll figure it out I guess when he starts hoovering. He can go to hell.
Read your post .it bought tears too my eyes..as u was already going through so..much.. and had that too ..that's ofton a problem with people..they don't think...u too could ne going.. throught. So..much.... very sorry for your loss. .I'm going throught a similar thing and yes it's painful .pls take care...God bless
Stay strong you can do it
@@deborahocampo852 thank you so much for your kind words. I’m sending so much love your way because it sounds like you’ve got a lot going on too. You take care of that beautiful soul of yours. ❤️
@@kristina7901 thank you so much. I appreciate your vote of confidence. 💪🏻❤️
How long did u cope with this narcissistic boyfriend ? (Months, Years?)
I hope u’ve left him ...And no turning back
Silent treatment is the best! Peace and quiet. She don't realize I don't care haha. I can do this forever.
EXACTLY
But you do care, that’s why you watched this video. It’s just easier to say you don’t.
I don't know what's happening to me this days I don't react to the silent treatment anymore.. I just continue with my day like nothing is happening.. Before it used to eat me up
I called it acceptance. It’s their conditioning us.
Thank you! So very helpful. The silent treatment hurts so much. These narcissists can't have any heart at all.
I love this. Narcississt out of my house again. I need y'all more than ever. I dont want him back, but I need strength.
You have to do this go No Contact so u can heal 🙏🏽💯♌️💯🙏🏽
I just had a relationship for about 4/5 months with a lady. At first she appeared really nice, but after a while i would see different behaviour. Late responses in texts, short answers, strange whereabouts and such, caught her in lying. when i asked questions because i had my doubts about her honesty she would just ignore the questions. all the time actually. I was going to think it would change, we made certain promises to eachother, like just answering instead of jumping around them. Next day she continued doing it.
I got so frustrated and became angry, and violent eventually. This is actually what she wanted, then she would tell everyone i've beaten her, and i was a narcissist etc. they dont look at their own behaviour. It made me doubt about myself so much, almost selfdestructive.
This is day #1 for me to recover from the emotional abuse. wish me luck!
@TheEmperor Greatest hopefully you didn't hit her.
@@TEG221 you should never put your hands on anyone. If you ever feel the need to do that, walk away from the person.
See yourself in a year, 5 years, 10 - is this the future you want for yourself? He won't ever change. Try reading Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life to build your self-esteem & learn to love & value yourself. If you take on board what she's saying, you will fly & won't look back
I’m giving him the silent treatment right back😅 I’m almost out of the door anyways. To make a long and toxic Married story short; I was married and he was not, I was single and did not even know it. God has my back and I’m coming it on top of this🙌🏾🙏🏾
I’m so sorry Kira
Same story with me
I was married
He was not
So there really was no marriage
I was a single mom while he went off with hundreds of others
He’s giving me the silent treatment
Im trying to heal and gain strength and grow close to the Lord during this time
God bless and heal You and fill you with His love and joy and peace. Amen 🙏🏻❤️
You go girl!!
It's not the silent treatment itself that signals dangers, it's the withholding of support and necessities and knowing, he's brooding on something that will cause you more pain.
I actually love it when she ignores me. It’s a huge relief.
- The silent treatment .. Return to Sender !
My sister doesn't reply to my messages for days because she is too busy but she's on her phone all day. She intentionally ignores me for months. I'm over it and cutting ties for other reasons. She talks poorly about me toany. I deserve better since I'm worth and I give her sooooucj love and attention.
My father used silent treatment for 3 years. We lived in the same house. This painful situation gave me power to raise out of the situation and I left the country of origin in order to create distance. We did patch up afterwards but, apart of one yearly visit, I stayed away from this toxic environment for over 30 years. I did work on inner healing and learned how to set boundaries with this kind of people. Thank you for this great video💜🌟🦋🌸
Definitely narcissistic, they probably don't even know WHY they're doing it. They just have to punish u
my dad stopped speaking to me for 5 years when i was 17 over nothing -
When we share something important to us that has hurt us the narcissist will have no response to make sure we know they don't agree to invalidate our feelings about how we are treated.
I’ve had a fantastic childhood but my body went into defence mode simply because I was so disgusted that another human being could be so evil with their put downs, tactics,traps. I would never treat someone so cruelly and it’s just a game to them
I agree!! I did have a Narc mom but thank GOD my eyes were open at a young age and my Father was so kind and wonderful. It truly is hard to imagine. Someone you love could treat you w such contempt and wickedness. I get disgusted as well, but then I remember what and who I am. We are Gods Children and that makes us so strong!!!!!
See I learned from my narcissist mother to give it right back. She didn't talk to me I thought good riddance. This is from a woman who told me at birth she didn't want me because I was a low birth weight. It took a year but she called and I didn't say anything and she hung up. She called back and I said how do you like it. She said I don't know what you r talking about and I said neither do I. Whatever she did or said I mimicked her. She put me down I did it right back. She doesn't bother with me anymore and you know what I don't care. It's reallyvhard but when she tried to use me at a punching bag I punched right back. fight back
It doesn't make me feel anything anymore, I've passed that stage.
When my partner dishes out the silent treatment she gets it right back (and she hates it).
I regard it as self inflicted damage.
Working on getting out of this relationship, not hanging around for more emotional abuse, being ignored, devalued and used for money / stability.
I'm dealing with the silent treatment right now from my husband. i honestly feel so much joy and comfort when he does this. it took some time getting used to, but i hate when the conversations are forced and about nothing. it took a while to get to this place, but here i am.
My husband is silent treating me right now too after abandoning me 😮in the middle of a disagreement! Just walk out and said good bye
@@judithgakiilegei4765 so what are you going to do about it ?
You feel joy? You are as sick as he is
@@epicweldepicweld5857 🤣🤣🤣
My little sister is a narcissist and when she uses the silent treatment I am relieved that I am not being bombarded with her DRAMA !!! I do not need her trumped up Drama in my life so I am glad not to hear from her. I have my own family (husband of 32yrs and two sons) a great home, job and great life. I am very happy and want for nothing. She is miserable, divorced and alone with a daughter who has broken ties with her. So I do not need her pain nor her whining about her life. She made her bed now she has to lay down in it. The only time she would call me over the last several decades was to ask for money or for a shoulder to cry on. I do not need that S_ _T. I am happy without her in my life. She tries to drag me down into her messed up world and I do not need that.
I've been on a silent treatment for almost 6 months except for a month ago when he yelled at me. I am on no contact again and this time I'm not breaking down. I'm a super empath but I can feel his games sometimes.
My silent treatments go for at least 2 years at a time, and boom he is back.
Go Debbie! Go Debbie! 🏆🤗🙋♀️❤️
Using dark empathy to manipulate you ? That’s messed up
You can do this. And you will do this. You deserve better than this, Debbie. You deserve love and respect and someone who genuinely cares about your feelings and what’s happening in your life. You deserve a partner you can depend on. He does not deserve you. Let him go so you can pour all of that energy back into yourself and be renewed and ready for when real comes along. You can’t be open to someone better until you’ve let him go. You got this. ❤
There a 2 ways that my narcissist communicates with me:
Narcissistic rage including gaslighting, and the silent treatment.
I'll take door number 2 any time until I can manage No Contact. Am feeling all of the things described in this vid, but will work on considering the silent treatment as a blessing.
Silent treatment is only annoying when you actually care for the person in question and strive for a better realtionship with them (even if they seem to not want to sometimes). If you don't then it's a blessing.
Eventually though people who strive for positive change (which is impossible through silent treatment because communication is key) are driven to the not caring anymore stage
Explains so clearly about the child response to the silent treatment. Will be able to catch what’s happening in the future when narcissists do that!
My 79 year old father is a grandiose narcissist that is a delusional hoarder. I tolerate him barely. My wife and teenagers can't stand him and I don't blame them. Your video really helped me... It took me over 40 years to learn what he is! and can't be changed...
My ex would put the phone down on and not answer my messages or calls all weekend and when Id had enough and would message to say I can’t do this anymore he would say he’s sorry and we would end up back together he used to say it was because he needed to calm down ! The last time he did it I ended it for good I have been no contact for a month nearly and I haven’t heard from him at all so I’m thinking he won’t contact me again and you’re right I felt it was always my fault I would feel panicked and abandoned and need to talk to him, I had already told him several times that I can’t cope with this behaviour I was sexually abused as a child and he knew everything about me but it made no difference I have started counselling and I am determined to not have this type of relationship again thank you for your videos they really help
Omg this is my story I am not alone 👌🏽
This is my story too 😢
Thank you so much for this video, it's the most helpful one I've seen on coping with the silent treatment and RUclips recommended it and your channel to me at just the right time. You're an angel, thanks again. ❤
I’ve been living like this for 11 yrs and 4 months… I just discovered this today… “ Covert Narrisist “ I didn’t think he was like anyone else… I started feeling crazy…. My stress level has been out of control… Thank you for this video…
I’m currently married to a covert narcissist and they’re the worse kind because of their charm and love bombing. Make plans to leave very soon and don’t tell him. ❤🙏🏾
I have to let this sink in, their disrespect is not a reflection of my worth and dignity ❤❤ more love within.
My narcissist sister didn't speak to me for 8 months. During this time she didn't send me a birthday card, nor did she tell me she was travelling abroad to a cousins wedding (which I couldn't go to because I care for our mum). Today, I had to see her and it ended in a terrible way 🙈 not only with her being really angry and shouting at me but with me having to protect myself by responding so very very badly. I told her she was a narcissist and was gaslighting me, I told her she has learnt from the best, her husband. I feel so so terrible having lost my control in response. I wish I could have walked away but I was in a situation I couldn't escape from.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with her
A friend gave me great advice
Don’t react
Just respond “I’m sorry you feel that way” and let it go
It saved me when my sister was abusing me when we were preparing for our fathers memorial
@@GodisLove4Eternity that's good advice, I'm dreading the day my mother passes, not only because of the sadness I'll feel - but having to cope with her during that time
@@bygrace24 lord please give you wisdom and peace and help! 🙏🏻❤️ amen
That was so useful to hear … Thank You
It is such a painful behaviour
Thank you sooo very much , I have just found your video , thank you for your time, I needed this today
This one of the best videos I’ve seen about narcissism. The way you just described their SILENT TREATMENT was profound, and I understood in a way I never have before. Thank you! 😊
#Freedom #Healing
When they give you the silent treatment whatever you do dont react. They want a reaction from you. They want to see you hurting. Thet feed off your pain that they caused.
This happens outside of actual human interaction too. Sending a thumbs up to every text message, or even worse leaving you on seen for weeks/months until you say something about it, then they say something like "how dare you?" or "you're too sensitive" or "i havent got time for this". Then you will see them moaning at various times how peoplr are rude for doing the same thing
Oh my goodness! Thank your for this explanation.
Thank you. Because you are a therapist that instructs you on how to cope and gives tips on the solution. Because every other video does not do that. All they do is discuss what we already know, their traits, games, evilness, ect. things we already know
Thank you so much for sharing I was in a very narcissist relationship he was a narcissist person and it got really dangerous my friend had to call the cops I was locked in a building for days it was terrible. Since then I said nope I'm not getting into another relationship I'll stay single I think that's best decision I made. The worst decision I made was that I gave him all my heart and trusted him gave him chances and it ended up being lies and ended with a broken heart. And im empath I have always been highly sensitive person my whole life. Your totally amazing I'm glad I found your channel. Your a blessing 🌹💓 love Mel
Thank you so much Caroline
My sometimes violent, wife-beating, nearly 7ft father punished any "dissent" (read that as whenever he couldn't get his own way) in this manner. It could go on for days until he graciously decided to forgive whoever had dared to offend his lordship - me, my brother, my mum. I don't know what was worse - this (as kids we never knew what we'd done & walked on eggshells every day of our childhood) or the terrifying, incandescent with rage violence (he was so bloody big & tall). When he died in 2010 I felt nothing
I understand but in a smaller way. I felt nothing either when my father died. Although he wasn't violent he was silent. He could argue with me, a little child of 6,7,8 years old and then use that to withhold a measerly 5p of pocket money. A very sad individual.
Well done !!! Thank you :) !
Needed this!
wow you really helped me a lot with this video. I'm going through this right now with someone I thought was my best friend who is also my roommate
One of the better channels here on RUclips. I became the scapegoat of my family because of the narcissist smear campaign. They wrecked my image so that now everything i say or any topic i bring up that I KNOW is valid and interesting gets met with a reply " YOUR THE ONLY ONE THAT CARES ABOUT IT" further trying to make me the odd man out. My brother in law now talks to me this way all the time due to my sisters smear campaign which is set in motion by the ring leader~my mother. It's a no win situation with them. There all 4 year olds trapped in the bodies of adults .(arrested development )
How awful
Can I just say this was amazing! Thank you ❤
Thank you so much . Dealing with one right now
Thank you so much for your help .I agree with you silent treatment is really a torture .Great information
Thanks for watching & so glad it's helping you 🥰 x
The key to handling it is to not internalise any meaning from the silence. So that their own silly emotions aren't empowered or validated. Get attention and validation out side of them. And redirect however these garbages make you feel back onto them.
I am so thankful I found your channel today.
I have felt exactly what your saying. And you were able to just calm me down.
This helped a lot!
That helped me SO MUCH
Kool. Thanks for this video.
At first I hated the silent treatment and now I look forward to it because im more at peace and functional when he's out inbetween someone elses sheets . I gained control of our child and thats the only reason he comes around is to attempt control of our child . Im glad I only have one child to protect because its been a very long and stressful battle to get to this point
U made me cry thank you .
I’m so glad I found this video!
My ex won’t talk to me.
And both my parents died !! He wasn’t there for me and I got mad at him so he gave me the silent treatment for 5 months ! Then I ignored him- then he ignored me back. It’s been this stupid game !
Now I’m at 10 months and I tried to call him and he did answer !! But he yelled at me about calling him at a decent hour . 🙄
I’m so over it by now I almost think it’s comical at this point
Bye! I’m good and pretty much healed and over it by now
As a child, i was given daily silent treatments from my mother, when she was angry she wouldnt even aswer at all with even a word, she would tap her fingers hard on the table or slam kitchen doors. Interestingly enough, she mainly gave silent treatments when she was watching tv and smoking but completely didnt answer wen angry, what usually made her angry was when i wouldnt hold a conversation with her. I never ignored her but it seemed like the only time she wanted to talk was when i just got home from school or was watching a tv show i was really interested in. I felt like she was the CIA and interrogating me instead of talking to me, it was like being drilled with one question after another and it made me feel attacked. So i would get frustrated and answer with a few words of irritation. She would explode and cry, i would apologize and hug her but this cycle repeated about 4 times a year for years. I always wondered why she wouldnt talk or conversate other then when i was just walking in the door or busy, even when i was doing home work.
My ex uses silent treatment then when I call him out for it he blocked me he comes and goes when he feels like it tries to blame things on me
I am utterly stuck in this disgusting trauma bond. It’s fresh I hope it begins to pass soon. Thanks for your time❤️
This really helped
So helpful to reflect on why we react to mean treatment
Thx makes a lot of sense
Oh yes! To both questions!
This was such a fantastic video. Thank you so much!!
I was just wondering, I heard you use the word “Thrivers Community” and I was wondering if that was taken from Melanie Tonia Evans’ channel? I listened to her a few years ago and she seems like such a lovely person (with a very similar accent) and I would feel bad if that was taken off of her channel?
Thank you very much! 🙏
I spent the ENTIRE day trying so hard not to react. And by the last 15 minutes I said something. I was worried I would go home and fester. But I could tell She LOVED it. Ugh.
Any bit more of info on this encroachment of our purpose is so helpful.
I realised my mum had pituitary and thyroid problems and vitamin deficiencies, which were untreated throughout my childhood, and her own childhood.
Thank you for your effort, Mrs Strawson! He started silent treatment 4 months ago. I totally disappeared and he haven't heard of me ever since. I wonder, why didn't he try to reach me out at all? It's been 4 months🤔🙄
Thank you
I once got silent treatment from people I worked with and eventually started challenging people about because my work rate dropped due to not enjoying the job, to which they were of course dismissive of it, or literally carried on giving me silent treatment right there.
One of my then "friends" said "If they dont want to speak with you just let them be. You dont get to tell them how they should behave". When I explained that its been going on to the point where something needs to be said otherwise if not challenged they just carry on doing it. He then replied "so what deal with it or quit". At this moment I lost all respect for him. After I was forced out he did little to defend me despite pretending to be one of my best friends for years. There is a reason I am not friends with them anymore obviously
I have this all the time
This is my gf’s go-to tactic and it frustrates me to no end. I’ve started to just leave the room after a few minutes of the behavior.
I'm in the fight or flight situation right now. He just walks away and doesn't say anything. Tells me that he wants to give me space while I cool off. I can't take the control and yelling and defensiveness he does in me.
He yells and becomes defensive?
Spread those wings and put flight ✈️ mode on .
Wait for a better day and join us on a beech of happiness 😊
@@kdphotos4691 tell tail sign of a defence mechanism
I'm an empath and I'm using the silent treatment on the narc only to preserve my sanity and dignity
I'm so done. I don't talk to ghosts they get confused when you do it back 😅 why ?? So surprised when you do the what I call the narc back..
Thanks for this.
I left my partner 10yrs ago but I still carry the pain. He would go for weeks without speaking to me, he lived in the front room which then meant I lived in the bedroom. I would go from begging for conversation to just existing, I felt Ill and distressed constantly though I looked fine from the outside. And we worked together too. Bad times.
All i am hearing is blaming the so called narcissist. People can chose who to speak to. Break up with them if u dont like it simple
@Tropical StormXoX if you understand narcissism it's not that simple. It's called a trauma bond. The back and forth between love and abuse creates trauma bond much like a drug addiction which is difficult to break. You look for affection and love from the same person who abused you. You think maybe they are having a bad day or are depressed or whatever. You try to give them benefit of doubt but ya it takes a lot to break free. Don't be ignorant.
@@nikis7098 i understand that but you also need to be boundaried. Why would you bother with someone not speaking to you
@Tropical StormXoX because you are trauma bonded by then! It's s psychological term that actually works as an addiction. So many victims when they try to leave the abuser become suicidal. It changes your brain chemistry.
@@tropicalstormxox9444 Why are you on this YT channel if you are not able to have empathy for people who are suffering from CPTSD?
Oh, wait... maybe you are getting your narc supply from watching these videos? That would explain your behavior.
I feel all the pain. I fight until i can't.
Your a very smart lady 🧿
My husband does this EVERY full moon. It's bizarre.
I welcome the silent treatment. When he states that he will take a week off because he is so upset with me I say fine. I need the week off also. I start literally packing his bag.
But he is just manufacturing a way to be in and out of the relationship. This is my situation also. Its kind of like getting you to believe you chose it in the first place, but making you get so hurt and upset that you choose disconnection as well.
@@viciouscircle7802 hasn't worked out that way for me. I would hope he would just stay away, but usually he goes around the block then comes back. I expressed to him I can love him from a distance. I can let go. He doesn't like that.
Do note there are people that are not narcs that would be great male/female for you. Both my sister and her husband has zero narc traits and they fit well together. I left my narc 2002 and have remained single since then. Also God showed me a way to spot narcs. So i avoid them like potholes in the road.
I'm taking back control
Great information and insightful.
Can I ask how can I gain my children back into my life from brain washing from my narcissistic parents?
I’ve been trying for years
The best course of action to you is education. Sit the children down and explain your personality to them, what you have versus what they are being told. Teach them the value of seeing you as the person you described to them. Educate them on narcissitic tactics and how that damages them if they give into it. The process will take time.
Ive been in silent treatment since December 2022 then now Feb 2023 he came back with a test Hoover and ghosted when I answered the hoover
I remember even waiting for her to conversate as an adult, she would stay silent. So i got bored and i remember i was very tired, i was working 16 hrs a day and going through a divorce and taking lots of antidepressants and depressed cause of all my exs abuse so i would fall asleep on her couch and she would get irritated and try and wake me up and get my attention, talk to me so i couldnt fall asleep, then get mad and tell me to go sleep upstairs. It was confusing. Never wanted to talk but wen i gave up try to pry me to talk abd get upset wen she didnt get my attention. I never even saw this pattern until now, i thought it was normal. I was raised that way.
6:10 this is life changing advice 🙃
I was starting to get emotional in the middle. A weird body feeling. Going thru this as we speak for sticking up for myself & giving him a taste of his own medicine but maybe worse. He is giving me stern silent treatment idk why it is bothering me but thank u now for the video
my mother has been giving me the silent treatment for four years (so far). Four years and one week. But when she agreed to speak to me briefly last year, she told me that it was merely my perception that she was giving me the silent treatment. whaaaaaaaat. I lost my sh1t and screamed at her so she has the comfort of being The Victim. I have been thinking about it over the last year obviously and I think she believes that she is protecting herself from my perspective. In her eyes there is *one* perspective, hers, and I'm not entitled to have my own subjective experience of her. She (not I) will be the judge of whether she has done anything wrong. She says she has done nothing wrong. She (not i), will be the judge of whether or not I'm hurt. She says I'm not. I'm hurting *her* by claiming erroneously to be hurt. So she has withdrawn to protect herself from my ''hurtful'' perspective that I deserved to be heard. Respect in a relationship means Reflect back MY VIEW OF ME. So if I don't do that, I'm hurting her.
In the family, she is more powerful than me. All of the family has stood behind her and backed up her right to accept nothing but total acquiescence to her narratives.
I'm seeing their silence as my reward for not disturbing them. I went no contact last November, 6 months ago, because they traumatized me with their screaming, yelling, and accusing rages. When they couldn't hoover me back by changing the subject (without apologizing), they went silent. That's when I realized they are dangerous Narcissists, and I wanted nothing to do with them. But they have commandeered my house, locked me out of their seized spaces, and they move about freely through my rooms with entitlement. I really have to be careful not to react in my anger toward them, as I suspect they are hoping I will do, because I am terrified of bringing on another raging attack and further punishment. Law enforcement will not help me; they are happy only to come out and tell me what I cannot do to limit the charming Narcs' from fully accessing my whole house, including utilities and resources. Their silent treatment is only a respite from the nightmare I can't find a way to wake myself from.
Omg this is exactly what im going through at the moment
wow thanks im 76 for 11 months i have been going through silent treatment than princess treatment , on 18 feb , it started my blood pressure was 217/107 for 3 weeks dr has me on 160mg of bp medication to try to bring it down ,
@fpbsix Leave. Remove the narc out of your life and find peace within you. Please.
I live with two Narcissist family members and the silent treatment has just begun! 2 days of locking themselves and family members in different rooms, and laughing out loud when i move around the house.
Normally they detest each other, but have closed ranks and she is right you do go into freeze flight mode.
If i say anything before the silent treatment started i just get told come on now why you being like this for pack it in now.
And i have not even argued with them, I just have to put up with it I guess, till i move on with my life.
They are driving me insane
I wish I seen these signs early on in my marriage 😢 my husband did that to me too often. & of course he started cheating smh. I’ve been with this guy too long I’m planning on filing for divorce this year. Now that I’m able to & my finances are getting back on track 😊I can’t wait to be set free!
Its so painful to be stonewalled and ignored for days on end. Im in the process of trying to to find my own place. He would not treat me how he does if we didnt live together. I cant say anything or its me with the issues and problems. Im the issue and stresser of the relationship. Calls me the covert narcissist. Maybe its because i mirror what he does. A year ago when i started speaking up he would kick me out every time. I started to stay quiet again for fear of upsetting him. Hes fine if I dont have any issues or feelings. He can be mad, frustrated or upset but I cant. If i say something I can leave I know where the door is. All I said was I wanted kind consistent and loving communication and to have more dates and quality time just us. I have to just face reality that this is not a healthy environment and staying in a relationship where we cant communicate means its time to make a change as hard as it is.
Hi Caroline, Matt here from NZ. I just wanted to comment about someone in our house who has not been diagnosed for "mental health and not been properly diagnosed for schizophrenia for many years". During the years, I have been living at our house here. I have been told to shut up and suffer the "consequence" of the individuals "mental disorder", for quite a long time. I understand that there are privacy laws, and doctor/patient confidentiality to be considered about anywhere you go in any nation.
My question to you is "Should mental health, be kept silent, so that other's in the family or in other situations suffer that person's issues or should mental health be made for everyone to have open discussions about what is happening to people's lives or families?"
My take on Narcissism is that I don't judge anyone on this planet. Narcissism, can be used to control other family member's life and well being, stop them from seeking support either from ringing someone or just wanting to seek help from a local counsellor (saying that is what is happening in our household situation at present).
Just wondering in your situation when you married, your other half was wondering about who you going to ring in the way of getting support or just trying to reach for help groups over the phone??? Again just asking the question because the individual in our house, does not me to ring any support group or ring people of any place here in Auckland in NZ here about Mental Health.
Would you call this over stepping the mark, and trying to abuse to threaten your life to keep your household and the situation quiet???
Hear from you soon.
Matt
I liked this video. I was going to sign up for the healing community but it appears to be just for woman? I am a man married to a BPD narcissists and looking for something like this.
Lets create a society where everyone is welcome.