Very attractive trait and mature indeed, you could call it mindful. Women are often more impatient, they need to express it now to lift the emotional burden. I'm a woman and I do try to compose and wait but at times I tend to express my thoughts. I analyse too but I say it out loud. I need a man to take lead, it makes me feel calm and relaxed. In this context I love this video because I may be fin. independent but mentally I very much embrace the primary ' traditional' roles dimension. I think it's about balance from both sides and how great would it be that men and women can both selfreflect and learn from eachother's strengths and weaknesses.
It's not always a good approach. A lot of women shut down and will close off and will not be able to open up emotionally to their men after repeated silent treatment. That will ruin the relationship. If she is mature , she would want a mature real conversation.
I agree but sometimes it's his immature way of being controlling. It's like a punishment of some sort, hoping that he train the woman the way he wants her to be.
@@KingPrime I Agree! So 2days ago, I call to say hello n catch up n we speak alittle n he goes like "Babe Imma get back to u after finalizing with wat I'm doing now " But b4 this call is an earlier unresponded to Txt, of me asking about his plans of that day after work! Didn't get any call or txt from him until next day wen he responded, "Oh Babe sorry I went to the gym". I hated reading this msg n didn't feel like even leaving any other response other than "good morning to you." He: "You sound mad" Me: "Really, not at all" (hell yeah I am!🙄) Since that txt, he is active online etc but my txt is not seen hence not heard from him since that day! And its paramount to note that this is like the 4th-5th time this kind of silent treatment has been going on... the last I asked y he said he'd rather keep quite than say smthn wrong wch I purely wud understand but again this is way too repetitive for a rlsthp as juvenile as 4months in! I've not said a word either eversince n I'm seriously considering opting out for good! Any advice/insights will be much appreciated🙏
It's okay if he's silent because he needs some time to cool down, but being silent hoping that the other will swallow their pride and apologize to break the ice, instant red flag.
You should keep silent too untill he will be active with you .if he lives and cares he will come back .....pressure is not good too......im at the same boat now even though i didnt do something horrible .....just waiting....
Key word, REAL MEN, they would never go silent on you. They would communicate with you and would do everything within their power to discuss any issues out. BOYS, do silent treatment and ghost treatment. Dont play their games. You better than that!! Now look in the mirror and say that again, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!!!
It’s definitely a sign of strength for a man to address the emotional side of things when it’s not his norm. But it’s necessary and not a form of weakness as it is perceived.
@@KingPrime Everyone has different circumstances and mind set, it’s not a solution when “one size fits all”! There’s lot’s of manipulators and narcissist who use silence as punishment and a way of controlling. Even if a men is just a bad communicator if he truly cares not to loose person, he will try a bit harder to speak out , instead of going completely silent. Some times silence is used to simply move away from honest explanation and that’s week cowardice.
Very difficult. Silence can kill. When is no communication, it is like I am only one that I am in relationship. Silence its not good at all. Talk and go to next step. The silence of my partner, its not good for me
I’m sorry to hear about the silence in your relationship. I’d recommend gently confronting it if you haven’t. And if that doesn’t work, intensifying it may help... or seek professional help.
@@sophiaali2013 I need advice. A guy likes me we text alot have met up we worked together. He opened up about his personal life which I was really surprised he open up to me. We text each other but recently he has been very quite. Not replied to my message on Watts app but I don't want to text too much. I don't know what to do?
He is silent because he knows he lost me for good, made a fool of himself by having no self-control over his abusive words, and His ego and pride. Thank God he silenced the fool.
If you can't be understood with a few calm words, there is no point to continue speaking or explaining. A perfect relationship is where silence is ok because there is no need for words to feel the bliss and appreciation of the other. Also, "Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands."
Actions speak louder than words. I myself don't want to give attention To women who try and play me for there ego. If a woman shows interest in me a few times. Then i will give my time. I also refuse to give attention to women who want to argue. My time is important to me
Why can't a man talk and communicate that he no longer wants to stay in the relationship. He went silent! My ex left me without any explanation and no matter how much I asked him, he just ignored my calls and texts. All this after three years of being together and spending the best moments of our life together. My mistake was to idealize him and give him my whole being because I thought he was the man with whom I was going to spend the rest of my life.
That’s the difference in a strong confident and and a man that has issues expressing their emotions. I don’t get it either… free the person so they can enjoy life with someone else or maybe just by themselves for a little while. It’s highly likely that someone has his attention and it ran its course and he was too ashamed to mention it. Silence sometimes saves face. I’ve been on both sides of it as a less mature adult. Be encouraged and know that someone out there is sooooo deserving of your all and is equally able to give you the same. YOUR BEST IS YET TO COME 🤩🙏🏾
@@z.k.5259 well the only thing I did for him was be there with him and gif him at all the time and he was the greatest person I ever met. He actually came back snd confessed to me why he started pooling away and it had nothing to do with me. He just fall into some one that gave him what to me doing with a man without being married is completely wrong. So he found it in another woman that did not care about giving herself. I just discover He is an avoidant person and that is a big problem having that kind of attachment
@kaelank484 awww 🥰my dear friend you made me tear up with the experience you just shared and thank you for sharing your pain. I truly understand you. I was in so much emotional pain that I couldn’t function. Crying at all the time and looking for an answer trying to understand what went wrong. and like you said I’m really thankful that this guy came up to me finally and talked to me and explain to me what happened. Still his explanation was very painful but at the same time was a relief to know what happened; after that he wanted to be friend with me and I felt maybe is better that way then not having anything at all. So we being hanging out around two years now just as friends cause he is not into getting in a relationship but at least we talk and meet once or two times at month. we really enjoy each other company.; but I have to tell you that every time I don’t see his message at certain time he use to text me I start to feel so anxious and nervous that is insane but something that had help me is learning about types of attachments. there are a lot videos in RUclips about attachment styles and I learned I have Anxious attachment which I didn’t know about it and by the way is very common. Also learning about other people attachment made me understand better their behavior. And believe me , I know exactly how you feel and like you said people do not understand how it feels at all they have no clue what is this emotional pain is about. One thing I can tell you is to look for professional help that specialize in Attachment style because no everybody knows about this kind of attachment. BecomeSecure Now had help me a lot how to control the anxiety. her videos are in RUclips and her name is Marianna Turov. I had sections with her and she is great. Big hug to you my dear and I’ll pray for you. May the Lord bless you and give you the strength you need to surpass all this in the name of Jesus🙏🙏🙏
WE don't want to say the real thing cause MOST women will react emotionally instead of constructively. You being accusatory proves this point. I'm just saying!
@@sethjones9480 Try again. You'd be surprised. She pointed out that most of the times there's agenda behind the silent treatment and you taking this as an accusation shows your inability to process what's being said.
This isn’t always true. We don’t want to say the wrong thing because we don’t want to say something we’ll regret and cause any more damage to the relationship. If we really didn’t care about our loved ones we wouldn’t go silent and make efforts to compose ourselves. Just because we want to say something doesn’t always mean we should.
Some are using manipulation, and if that is the case, as confident, mature, emotionally grounded women, we have nothing else to say. I will invest in what invest in me, no more, no less.
I was praying about a situation with a man. Over the years, I wondering why he became quiet. I am going just sit back and relax be his friend. I am going think nothing else about it. Because it too much trying figure out what going with him or men PERIOD. Thanks for your information.
I’m 36yrs old started seeing a 49yr old man thinking we were good and then the switch up happened now here I am watching these videos I’m so hurt men don’t realize how much they hurt women this is why I stay alone it’s safer that way
Women don't realize there's a lot of men - their own - who are good, faithful, gentlemen and provide for their mates willingly, even with regards to your physical safety and spirituality. But they're taken for granted, others are placed before them, their feelings aren't considered., endlessly up until that man just stops communicating, quits taking part in gatherings and stops acting like he's happy when he is actually suffering mostly by himself. Meanwhile he's still engaged in providing all of the above, although silent. You🫵 have no idea.
When I feel like I'm getting backed into a corner I'll go quiet. When I end up apologizing for feeling a certain way I get quiet. When I am Occupied with doing something and you come in and blatantly disrupt what I was doing talking about whatever it is then I'll get quiet.
I can identify with finally having a moment of peace and having it interrupted. Maybe try going into a designated place and letting other know this is my “me time”. I think they’ll understand.
When a woman gives me drama and I don't want it anymore I will leave her alone because arguing with her is pointless that's where I go into silence because if I try to argue am always the bad guy so I would just sleep in the sofa and leave her alone I hate toxic ferminism will all my heart
My fiance goes silent for days, I feel like he's trying to punish me by doing that because its the only thing I can not deal with, all you have to do is communicate that you need space and you got it, but you would risk the entire relationship because you are in your feelings. I'm always having to be the bigger person and break the silence to only find out its for something petty smh
You're so cool dilivering such an effective and important point of view on the subject that got so many people worked up and going crazy,the way you elaborate on the subject got me smiling, it doesn't feel as if it was something hurtful,you didn't bash anyone, you just gave a solution to the problem and where it could be coming from, most of the other people would say is because he's not thinking about you ect, thank you such a thoughtful message.
A man should apologize when he does something wrong to hurt his partner and go silent if he wants some space after apolozing it can save a good relationship.
My husband of 25 yr misused me chocked me and cheated on me. I feel like garbage to him i remember building from the floor up and thought he was my best friend but when he started cheating here come the abuse.
I’ve learned that you don’t need to say a lot of words. Just say what you need to say but not in excess. It’s a process to learn. I’m too talkative. You learn more by active listening
I went silent and rogue to avoid confrontation with everyone. It has saved my life. I am at peace in my quiet bubble. Ill be the crazy old man in the woods soon.
I just read an article about how many suffer in silence and thought it would be a perfect part two to this video. Especially adding in some of the things that you’ve mentioned. Sometimes people stir up mess, bring along the drama just to get a rise out of you. And I applaud you for doing what it takes to keep your peace of mind. Your peace of mind is priceless and I wish more would adopt that concept.
I have this friend who asked me out but I was scared because of the long distance. Suddenly, he went silent. Then we got talking again last year and he again asked if I was seeing someone and I said no. I made a post of needing a vacation badly and he said that he was ready to host me for a week and I laughed. He said continue doing your shakara until I come for you and bring you to where I am and I laughed again. We went silent again for a year. Then just this week he asked me how I was doing and if I preferred talking a conversation. I didn't reply cos I was so angry with him. He then said that he kinda likes being ignored, he thrives in it. So I sent him a message of how hurt I feel when he goes silent and suddenly appear to send messages to me. I told him that I wouldn't want to have that type of friend. I wished him well in his future endeavors. Then he sent me messages, that it was the things I said to him that made him become silent. He said he had tried to make me see the things causing us to drift apart but he was being misunderstood. I've told him to screenshot all the things I said to him that he did not like so I could go through them and correct my mistakes. Please advise me on what to do.
My apologies for the delay. For some reason your comment went to spam. As I read through your message, there are many questions that I have. But I will respond based on the knowledge that I know. Long-distance is tough, but not impossible. In order for this to work two people have to be committed. It looks like both of you were scared and hesitant and making a decision. Though you sound like you wanted this, it appears that you were not only hesitant, but also silent about your desires. I think if you would’ve laid your feelings out there, perhaps things would be different. And I think this goes for him as well. Relationships require action. And I believe you were waiting on this from him and he likely pulled away because you didn’t show interest. You kept it inside and only you knew what was going on in your head. If you really like him, I say go for it. And if that ship has sailed, search for someone a little more local. That will probably see you some frustration as you move forward in a new relationship.
In your case, it sounds like you can't even get anything started and he disappears. Why waste your time on a man that can't be present...then pops up one year later. If a person is doing this in the beginning, what will he do if you really have a problem. Don't let another year go by w this seemingly emotionally disabled person...move on.
It takes a little work my man. As long as you’re continuing to get better at it one situation at a time, you’re winning. Funny… I was just talking with my dad over the weekend and he told me that it’s easier to say about 17 to 18 words rather than three simple words such as I love you. 😂.
@@KingPrime For man it most certainly is. But I think when we do get emotional it has more impact because we do it so rarely which means it is very honest maybe. 😄 Thanks for the reply.
New to your channel. New subscriber. Very professional and great information. I tell you. I have been divorced since 1999. I am so use to doing my own thing. I had to stop in my last relationship and let my ex help me. Good stuff here. 👍🏽
Thanks for joining the journey and subscribing. I appreciate your warm comments. Being in the space of independence and doing your thing solo for a while changes the game right ?..😁 You definitely get used to doing things when you want, how you want and without the opinion of anyone else. Then getting into a relationship becomes an adjustment and is sometimes hard to allow others in your space to help and their opinions aren’t always welcomed 😂. But I’m glad that you “got over the hump”... lol. Be Well!!!
Your content enlighten me a lot! I used to find it very disturbing when men go silent during an arguments. But now I understand so much more of the reason why men acted this way, and what men are thinking. thank you so much!
ShadaePrincess ..for sure!!! And men have to become comfortable enough to speak without reservations while the atmosphere for that must be set within the relationship.
It's my first time hear you up but it's really educative ,I really need some advice I met a guy 3months now . but he changed of a sudden he used to call,text but no more and he doesn't explain anything about the silence which kills me ,or maybe I rushed to think we were in a relationship.but l love him so much don't want to let him go but it's like he is gone
My wife and I have been married for 35 years next month. We talked about all of the important things and had enough since to ask ourselves, is this worth an argument. After our kids were teenagers, they would ask us to talk about something they would like to discuss and asked us to talk about it. We would talk about 2-3 minutes and were done. They would say, we thought you were going to talk about it. We did. If you listen closely to each other, you’ll notice that some things have been done before and discussed before. Remember, is this worth an argument.
Witnessing this now. My guy friend haven’t spoke to me since yesterday am. I even called his job to make sure he was okay. But I’m getting silent treatment out of the blue
The guy I started dating has been ignoring me after an argument I said some hurtful things i apologized two days later and still no communication it’s about to be a week I’m about to give up and move forward
Charsa Frazier oh gosh!! Sorry to hear that. Sounds like you cut him deep 😳. It tough to know what those trigger words or trigger points are with people. Particularly when we are hurt and offended too. It’s a very fine line. Not sure how long the two of you have been dating, but most time you know deep down if the person is worth the time and effort to make it right (no matter what). If you’ve done all that you think is possible, he’s probably not interest anymore.
@@KingPrime Same thing happened to me, but this time I broke up with him, but he still didn't say anything. What's the reason? And did I do the right thing breaking up?
Men sometimes go silent to protect his sanity. All men dont use silence as a weapon. Sometimes its just best to excuse yourself quietly and take care of yourself especially after you've tried to express your wants and needs constantly and also tried to meet hers as well.
When a woman 👩 is silent mode that means is game over ! And here I talk about me the silence I put for one year put him is the mode off stalking me and make me exosted. Peace ☮️ love ❤️ too all
I've been going out with him for 1 and a half year now. Like all relationships we spent much time together in the beginning and I noticed that he is very jealous and like to pick small fights.I have never cheated on him he has never even find anything about a third party in me. He has a past of being cheated on by one girlfriend he used to stay with. We have bonded so much but he has so much anger and I tried to understand him while not being submissive and showing him that I need to be respected. Lately he is silent and doesn't ask me anything and chat less. when I asked him he said he is trying to change as I want him to change so he doesn't wanna ask anything because thats what I want. My only problem with him I told him is to fight for no reason and to accuse me of things I did not do. So to him if we're not fighting there is no love and now he is so distance and if he continues like that I'm willing to let him go in this process of us being silent.
They also go silent 1. when they have someone else or 2. they want sex and you're not going to give it to them so they'll be on their next conquest to find someone who will give them the goods. 3. You intimidate them. 4. They realize you aren't a thot and they have to have morals, or be stable so they find someone they don't have to work hard for. 5. You can be perfect! No nagging, stable, attractive, courteous , giving, can cook, you keep your body right, independent, you massage him, give him sex when HE wants but he still goes silent. ( They are afraid of their emotions and think you don't deserve them so they find a downgrade that once again " They don't have to work hard for and or insecure because you make him see his shortcomings. Basically you're too good for him and rejection is your protection.
All good and relevant reasons... someone’s it comes down to choosing poorly. Which is why we should take our time with how we progress in relationship because (too your point) many people (men and women) aren’t willing to work for it, are lazy or too damage from previous relationships; thus making them emotionally unavailable.
Men by nature don’t want confrontation with a woman. Not out of fear, but for approval. Men want a woman’s approval and if she is aggravated she will not want us close. Thats counter to where men want to be. Most men by nature WANT to be close to women. If we are “needed & wanted” we are useful. If we are useful we are acceptable. So avoiding confrontation is paramount in our mind. If we keep quiet we are listening to see if we can find a solution that we can make happen. If women don’t want a solution it’s important for women to make that point to start off with & 2ndly men, it’s important for us to listen and learn to read when she wants a solution or just wants an ear & a hug. They give some clues. But women we are literal. So you can do your part & say which that your looking for when you can.
Bruce… This is beautifully and masterfully written. Men definitely want to be useful, it’s a big part of the male DNA. And we’re not mind readers, so it does help quite a bit when we are given specifics. 😁
@@aspiringmen4374 No, im asking you. I'm a lady and is thinking he's seeing other girls for this a week and a half silent treatment........I sure aint gonna feel the same if he decided to reach out. It upped my insecurities.
wow your video just appeared..a very mature way of understanding a man's mind, I think the guy I am seeing is going silent because i came on too strong but that is just who i am and will not apologize for it and i will still show affection haha, its been 2 weeks and I respect the space he needs, if he comes back I will honestly welcome him back with open arms so that he can have a chance to just be him, but it shouldn't happen all the time. a lot of woman say walk away but men think differently then us and that is what they don't understand.
Hi Didi!! Thanks for dropping in here. I definitely understand both sides. You must speak up and let your intentions be known. That’s a nice quality to have. The flip is when you come on too strong and it intensifies, a man can feel smothered. I mean we love the lady in our lives, but we need a little space too 😂.. if it helps, maybe talk about it before squeezing his oxygen out early in the process. 🤣🤣.. seriously.. communicate it.
Am going through this right now my partner is silent and cant tell what has gone wrong, it really hurts coz when l ask he claims theres nothing wrong l think walking away is the best thing to do
I just stumbled across this and if someone goes silent wouldn’t that be considered a red flag & confirmation that the person is emotionally unhealthy & to just cut that person off?
@Tara Lynn Not necessarily. Everyone deals with stress and men deal with stress differently. It’s just a different type and level of pressure..Not to make an excuse. To your point, it could definitely be a red flag depending on the norm and dynamics of the relationship. For example something that you two would normally talk about and all of a sudden one person goes quiet about that topic. Sometimes he may be processing what is being said. If this silence has gone on for and extended time we’re happens more frequently than it should, I do think that is emotionally unhealthy. Cutting them off maybe necessary but I would be sure to have the conversation of what your expectations are and what your standards are in a relationship. That way if you decide to move on, the expectations were stated and known up front… Well… Prior to moving on. The two people in the relationship know how much they mean to each other and can often decide whether it’s worth working through or not. I sometimes think we leave challenging areas in relationships because leaving is the easy way out. Sometimes it’s worth it… Sometimes it’s not
@@KingPrime Thank you for taking the time to respond. I truly appreciate it! 🙌🏽 I am trying to exercise patience and understanding with this individual. However, I am struggling remain this way. LOL! I am forever growing and evolving! If this individual is an upper 40 year old would you say that they will probably never change? If so, ✌🏽. Some people are willing to grow while others rather remain the same. Perhaps it’s a lost cause. Thank you for your advice!
@@socialmediawisdom22 You’re welcome. If he’s in his upper 40’s, chances are he’s been shaped already. It also depends on how long he’s been this way. If it’s been just a little while it’s probably repairable. Otherwise, it’s likely not gonna happen. I see exactly where you’re coming from with evolving. Its a big problem when one person has a growth mindset and outlook while the other person has a fixed mindset. 😔
@@socialmediawisdom22 I’m grateful to have you as a subscriber and I’m confident that your decision will be well calculate it. Please bear with me as my content is not “focused” right now. But my goal is to push out a few more videos that I have already recorded. Then everything following those will be focused on relationships and issues surrounding men and women on individual basis. And also taking topics from the audience. Do you have a pleasant evening! 😊🙏🏽
When I express myself in told I'm too nerdy or I don't act black enough or I have to pay for everything in a relationship while being belittled so I decided to go mute. Tried my best but it always boils down to those same things. So I don't see a need to speak
Sounds you are greatly under appreciated!! Someone out there is praying for some just like you …JUST AS YOU ARE!!! Sometimes we try and mold ourselves to become what someone wants us to be. Our authenticity is our power. Be you and if you need to move on until you find your person that can and will appreciate you. And as for not acting black enough 🤦🏽♂️… what is that?!!! That alone shows their lack of culture. Regardless of race, we don’t all fit one stereotype. That’s a small minded comment.
@@KingPrime well unfortunately it happens a lot in our culture. I am good with my hands, I can build things, I'm a hydroponics farmer, I can do an engine swap by hand. But they see only that I can pay for their bills while at the same time being told I need to "act more black" no matter what I do is never good enough.
Depends on the situation I am quiet when i am highly pissed off at the woman I'm with bcuz if I keep talking while angry I will say something that maybe very very hurtful bcuz I'm hurt so the best thing for me to do is to get some alone time for a lil while and no I am not running from my problems bcuz I do plan on addressing them later just not n the heat of the moment bcuz there will b more emotion tied into my response rather than logic. But with that being said what he is describing doesn't pertain to me.
My partner can really piss me off sometimes but I always still love her. I know the silent treatment is wrong, but I use it in those cases when the choice is accidentally say something I would regret, or just say nothing. I almost always come back and close the loop once I’ve thought the entire situation through. The other time I go silent is when I habitually get interrupted. I tell people we can have a respectful conversation, or I’m happy to just sit and listen …… their choice.
After being walked on for 25 years and treated like trash…. Abused. Denied sex for most of the 25 years…. Everything made your fault. Lied about…take all the money i make and keep her own. Cheated on me while the church pushed me to stay for the kids. Silence is my mercy.
My husband just is in silent mode for months. The only time he talks is if he wants to tell me off about something. Other then that he just dosent talk. It's very awkward in the home. He won't talk and for hours and days on end he can just sit there on his phone or he only talks to his daughter (step daughter). I don't know what to do?.
He went on silence its been almost a month. I’m askinghim . N telling him its hurting me like hell. Why hes doing so?? He come n check my messages but same time he is having fun with girl (she used to be our mutual friend ) what I should do now?
I really want to know if he likes me his very shy everyone tells me he is and they also tell me to make a move for some reason but he rejected his friends try to get my attention and his friends push him and he tells them to stop in a very low voice, he also gets very quiet and he talks very low I can’t even hear him, he looks at me from very far and never approaches me? I think he doesn’t like me😭
My man is typed of cant expess his emotion and talk less all the time. I do understand that who he is, but we spend 7 yrs together alot of thing that we cant talk everytime spmething happen he always remains silent and I have to understand him. All these year make me felt so tired of understand him beside I didnt get what I want. Alot of thing i need to talk and want it clear but i dont get it. Many time i feel wasting time to this man.
Mai, I’m so sorry to hear about the lack of expression within your relationship. It seems that you have tried many things in order to have a better outcome. I am also proud of you for the effort as many people would simply give up and move on. Or… They would try and give the silent treatment back to the other person, which doesn’t work either. If you have the ability to seek professional help, I would seek counseling with your partner. Be sure to express yourself to him of everything that is on your mind and how it makes you feel. If it’s worth it and if you’re worth it to him, he will be willing to work to become better within your relationship. If he doesn’t want to do it, I believe that that is your permission to move on to a more rewarding relationship.
Are you saying your are not sure if you want to break it? Long distance is tough, but it can be done. You both have to be very honest, have frequent connectivity and plans to bring things together at some point. Some point meaning a defined moment in time. Six months, one year etc... and start navigating that way. But have the conversation to make sure that you both are on the same page. And if not, move on. You’ve gotta have boundaries and standards.
My man vanished 2 months now after 3.5 years of constant everyday communication. I accused him of something n he denied it. He called n I cancelled his call. I was pissed. We never talk since then 1.5 months after i call him n still no response.
That sounds like deep hurt on both sides. Sometimes things run their course and we must be at peace with that. On the other hand, if this person means that much to you or if you mean that much to each other, you will find a way to resolve this and things will come back together. It’s not easy but if the love is strong enough and desires are mutual it will happen
@@KingPrime unfortunately it got worst. I found out the girl I found out about was staying with him a month after we stop talking. I am single n manifesting true loyal love. He's older and not acting right. Him n that girl also split n she's heartbroken. He n I was together 3.5 years. I expected marriage but he had to many options. As hurt as I am. I will manifest what I want rather than a person. I never expected any of this ending but such is life.
dbedazzling1 as unfortunate as that is, you now have the truth of the situation and your personal truth. Love that you’re manifesting things for self happiness and knowing the rest will follow 😉
See I agree with you, but not with people in this comment. I go silent because I process things very slowly and to solve something but I find that women who don’t have father figures in their lives will say it’s a form of manipulation when really the women is insecure.
what if Idk why he is doing silent treatment? and we aren't a couple, we only talking (dating others too, we wanted to meet soon for the first time), but we had little hard talk about it, but I changed the subject and then we started joking about other things (so i thought everything is fine), but now he is silent, didn't open my last messages since sunday. Im thinking he is immaturre, but idk what to do. Everyone told me to move on, but I care abt this connection
First thing that comes to mind is be slow to speak, quick to hear and slow to wrath. That said, I’m wondering exactly what you said and what tone did you use to deliver your words. Words can be painful ...even to the strongest men. However, recovery can happen based on how you apologize. You may have to go “over the top” to make up for it. Not saying kiss his arse 🤣🤣🤣🤣... but put a good effort in to apologize from the heart and do it in a way that speaks HIS love language. I’m hopeful for your conversation and relationship 😊🙏🏽
@@KingPrime I discovered he was cheating on me I confronted him he went silent. I apologized beg and still he will tell me I will call u later and never does. I took my self esteem into my hands, my self worth and I went silent too I can't kill myself no
I've been talking to a man who asked me on a date for after lockdown and we were talking really well through message. Then he admitted that he is struggling with anxiety so I kept nice about it and reassured him it's okay to feel down sometimes and hope he's okay etc. Anyway the past 3 days he has gone very quiet. At first I thought maybe he isn't interested and is ghosting me. But he hasn't posted anything on his social media and I am still friends with him on there. I am unsure if his silence means he has lost interest or if he is dealing with something else. I am worried I will say the wrong thing so I have backed off with messaging him. I am not expecting him to message me 24/7, but I just want a message either him saying 'he's not interested' or 'I'm gonna be off my phone for a few days so I may be quiet' so atleast I know where I stand. It's bugging me and I don't know what to do next.
Nothing like being left hanging. ☹️😩 The best thing you can do is be direct with it. I think your heart of care and concern is very genuine; and at the same time you’re not signing up to be an immediate caregiver to these issues. I’d send him a message, actually ....give him - call ☎️ and if he doesn’t answer, leave a message and give him his space. With zero expectations you’ll be in a better mental space. If he responds, that’s great and you can take it from there by letting him know what’s tolerable and what’s not. Stand by your expectations.
It sounds like you two never met. If that is the case then stop investing in him emotionally. A man who is interested in a woman won't let anxiety stop him. In the beginning when I first started dating my man he told me he has anxiety. I told him I did as well. It just bonded us even more. We never have anxiety with each other tho. We feel at peace when we are together. Look for a man who doesn't let his fears get in the way of his love for you.
My long distance boyfriend is pulling away. He hasn't called me in 4 weeks and rarely texts. And I am flying to see him in 4 weeks! What does that mean? Shall I still fly out there
Nope. Not all men respond well to this. Im daying a 60 year old and if i just say what can i do for you today? Phrased multiple different ways in a gentle way and he says stop your ohychology mambo jumbo. Now after 18 montha he comes home i give him his dinner and im just quiet. Ive spent time with him breaking up getting back togther telling me no one will love me when he randonly gets mad. Im on my way out. I can see how this would have worked for others
Let him go! If a man doesn’t show you respect or that he’s in love with you then ladies don’t let the door hit him in the butt! We women are worth more than to be a man’s doormat! He’s not a man if he’s going to abuse you mentally and make you worry and cry. It’s time to put you in God’s hands and trust for your future to be blessed with a better life.
Hi there, my boyfriend and I just clocked 6 months dating. He is suddenly quiet, when I call or text he does not reply and often says he was tired and asleep. I only call him like once a week. Should I just move on or give him space and time?
How do you talk to a woman you love so much and she won't listen. She love to talk talk talk talk, and when she asked a question or ask for your opinion before you can quote on it she intervene without letting you finish. Thats when i go silent with build up inside. What do i do?
Haha 😂... I defiantly get it!!! You should leave a note for her ... maybe on her pillow or on the bathroom mirror with a quote. “I never learned anything while I was talking”. I would drop the “Honey I need to talk with you“ on her. This way she will know that it is something serious and when you FINALLY get her, let her know how that you need things to be mutual with respect to listening and it would mean a lot to you if she could try harder to listen to you as an equal in the relationship
oh yes just another question when he goes silent should the woman wait for him to reach out or should we? is this situation i did tell him to let me know when he is available thanx in advance
You’re very welcome and this can go both ways. I think if you haven’t heard from him in a week, it’s ok to reach out to let him know you’re thinking about him. If you do this after a certain amount of time (a few weeks) and you get no response, he’s not interested.
Why go silent on your partner for days and weeks after an argument, does that mean he's tired of the relationship? Mind you, you've asked repeatedly and apologised but he still keeps mute
Sounds like it’s been a repetitive occurrence and the partner is perhaps tired of revisiting the same topic. Or it could be a very deep offense that hurt the other person. Maybe try apologizing in a different way.
I agree with @Terrill Tarver. I even admit to giving my wife the silent treatment in the past because I became tired of having disagreements over things like her saying I "always" or "never" do this or that when we both knew that she'd say that in order to try to justify whatever she was feeling in that moment to prove whatever point she was aiming for. I also think that unlike women, men aren't equipped mentally to casually entertain stressful conflict (debating sports don't count no matter how absent minded the other guy may be about the sport or athlete he's speaking on... it's all in fun in the end). For example: Women are known to entertain catty fussing sessions with or about whomever, and carry on in the next moment as if nothing happened. Men on the other hand can't generally operate in that fashion because we have an inate quality when it comes to contentious moments. We have to destroy or abandon whatever is disrupting our peace. (This is why you don't see men arguing as often as you see women arguing....men will either talk it out rationally, walk away, or resort to extreme violence....and the silent treatment we give our ladies is indicative of us chosing to "walk away" in moments that we interpret as contentious. Btw, that doesn't necessarily mean we want to end the relationship...only the mental uncomfort we get from contentious dealings with our ladies. Also, even if out ladies apologize, we'll won't accept it immediately because we still need time to recover).
@@mobetta2092 that's very true sometimes I just get tired of on and off like am a switch button if it becomes repetitive I upgrade my silent treatment to make her know that I can't continue with that kind of behavior piss me off and next day expect me to smile at you, if I can't smash your face then I will just ignore you and stay away from you sleep in the sofa and let you sleep alone and be free from me
@@melaninbotswana2474 yes indeed. A few years ago wife made the mistake of telling me how much it hurts her for me to give her the silent treatment. Once I found that out it was my go to whenever she felt the need to try to disrupt my peace with an attempt to drag me into one of her occasional and unnecessary mood swings (she's generally not like that but I think it's in her nature to need to every once in a while complain about SOMETHING no matter how easy going we are... especially when she brings up something that may have happened days or weeks ago that she didn't bring to my attention at that moment. She'll then wanna complain about it and get upset because I didn't remember what I supposedly did wrong....even though she seemed as all was well in that moment, she'll say I should've known that she was upset but I'm no mind reader). Like you, I'm not gonna hit her so the next best thing is to give the silent treatment because it not only punishes her, but it gives me peace and quiet state until I choose to talk again.
Silent treatment is toxic behavior and emotional abuse. You can go silent after you explained why, but if you do not...then you using narcissistic games nobody deserved. Only a man child react like that...SPEAK UP...
I found out his been lying to me about his real identity for over a year now, I confronted him about it but he chose to end the relationship.am confuse right now why he hide his real names from me over a year
Hey, he told me he will get back to me soon, he is going through family problems, its been 6 days, do you think he is trying to push me away orhe might be genuinely going thru staff?
Very well spoken. Very informative .. thank you for the content.
You’re very welcome. My pleasure
When I go quiet, I have given up on whatever I was fighting for.
So you never go back or break the silence ?
Are you a Dismissive Avoidant?
@@Mileys_choicenaw…real men dont deal with BS
@hoodahellau6734 I see the opposite. So much in life is BS. Gotta put your big boy pants on and face it. Together.
Same, when I see no more point - I'm silent
If you don't have good communication
Its not a relationship there,
Thats for sure 👍 💯
I go silent because I don't want to say words I can't take back . I let it cool down then we talk .
That’s a great strategy!! Very mature of you. Love the self awareness
Very attractive trait and mature indeed, you could call it mindful.
Women are often more impatient, they need to express it now to lift the emotional burden.
I'm a woman and I do try to compose and wait but at times I tend to express my thoughts.
I analyse too but I say it out loud.
I need a man to take lead, it makes me feel calm and relaxed.
In this context I love this video because I may be fin. independent but mentally I very much embrace the primary ' traditional' roles dimension.
I think it's about balance from both sides and how great would it be that men and women can both selfreflect and learn from eachother's strengths and weaknesses.
It's not always a good approach. A lot of women shut down and will close off and will not be able to open up emotionally to their men after repeated silent treatment. That will ruin the relationship. If she is mature , she would want a mature real conversation.
I know when I usually go silent its because I’m really angry and I’m trying to maintain control of myself.
After she apologied, how long until u text her back? Do u move on?
I think it's healthy to be silent when angry! I'd rather a man be silent than say mean things!
He's opened up and has had his words twisted and thrown back in his face one too many times
Yeah, that’ll shut a person down and not want to speak again
This is a truth !!!
I agree but sometimes it's his immature way of being controlling. It's like a punishment of some sort, hoping that he train the woman the way he wants her to be.
Yes.. the real maturity comes with being vulnerable enough to communicate those feelings.
@@KingPrime I Agree! So 2days ago, I call to say hello n catch up n we speak alittle n he goes like "Babe Imma get back to u after finalizing with wat I'm doing now "
But b4 this call is an earlier unresponded to Txt, of me asking about his plans of that day after work! Didn't get any call or txt from him until next day wen he responded, "Oh Babe sorry I went to the gym". I hated reading this msg n didn't feel like even leaving any other response other than "good morning to you."
He: "You sound mad"
Me: "Really, not at all" (hell yeah I am!🙄)
Since that txt, he is active online etc but my txt is not seen hence not heard from him since that day! And its paramount to note that this is like the 4th-5th time this kind of silent treatment has been going on... the last I asked y he said he'd rather keep quite than say smthn wrong wch I purely wud understand but again this is way too repetitive for a rlsthp as juvenile as 4months in! I've not said a word either eversince n I'm seriously considering opting out for good! Any advice/insights will be much appreciated🙏
It's okay if he's silent because he needs some time to cool down, but being silent hoping that the other will swallow their pride and apologize to break the ice, instant red flag.
Good point
You should keep silent too untill he will be active with you .if he lives and cares he will come back .....pressure is not good too......im at the same boat now even though i didnt do something horrible .....just waiting....
Key word, REAL MEN, they would never go silent on you. They would communicate with you and would do everything within their power to discuss any issues out. BOYS, do silent treatment and ghost treatment.
Dont play their games. You better than that!! Now look in the mirror and say that again, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!!!
It’s definitely a sign of strength for a man to address the emotional side of things when it’s not his norm. But it’s necessary and not a form of weakness as it is perceived.
AMEN🤗
@@KingPrime Everyone has different circumstances and mind set, it’s not a solution when “one size fits all”! There’s lot’s of manipulators and narcissist who use silence as punishment and a way of controlling. Even if a men is just a bad communicator if he truly cares not to loose person, he will try a bit harder to speak out , instead of going completely silent. Some times silence is used to simply move away from honest explanation and that’s week cowardice.
@@THEAG28011966 That's it
Nah, if we’ve tried and she repeats the same pattern… then we’re on to the next, especially when we have a lot of options
Very difficult. Silence can kill. When is no communication, it is like I am only one that I am in relationship. Silence its not good at all. Talk and go to next step. The silence of my partner, its not good for me
I’m sorry to hear about the silence in your relationship. I’d recommend gently confronting it if you haven’t. And if that doesn’t work, intensifying it may help... or seek professional help.
Wow...I’ve learned so much. I always thought the silent treatment meant that the relationship was over and they have moved on.
Not quite… oh it’s in motion sometimes😂😂😂, but not always. Some men are deep thinkers. Some, not all. Thank you for your comment Nicole!!
Me too. I always think its the end of relationship especially with a person who cant communicate. Am just down like....
If we dont live together, i would think he's entertaining others.
@@sophiaali2013 You think right. If a men can not communicate, women shouldn’t be with him!
@@sophiaali2013
I need advice. A guy likes me we text alot have met up we worked together. He opened up about his personal life which I was really surprised he open up to me. We text each other but recently he has been very quite. Not replied to my message on Watts app but I don't want to text too much. I don't know what to do?
He is silent because he knows he lost me for good, made a fool of himself by having no self-control over his abusive words, and His ego and pride. Thank God he silenced the fool.
That’s a lot!!! Nothing like getting a revelation!! But I got one question…. “Won’t HE do it?” 😁🕺🏽😂
If you can't be understood with a few calm words, there is no point to continue speaking or explaining.
A perfect relationship is where silence is ok because there is no need for words to feel the bliss and appreciation of the other.
Also, "Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands."
Agreed .. and I do think there should be s time limit to the silence. At a minimum, the couple should at least come to an agreement with that.
well said bro you are very very wise!!!
Actions speak louder than words. I myself don't want to give attention To women who try and play me for there ego. If a woman shows interest in me a few times. Then i will give my time. I also refuse to give attention to women who want to argue. My time is important to me
Why can't a man talk and communicate that he no longer wants to stay in the relationship. He went silent! My ex left me without any explanation and no matter how much I asked him, he just ignored my calls and texts. All this after three years of being together and spending the best moments of our life together. My mistake was to idealize him and give him my whole being because I thought he was the man with whom I was going to spend the rest of my life.
That’s the difference in a strong confident and and a man that has issues expressing their emotions. I don’t get it either… free the person so they can enjoy life with someone else or maybe just by themselves for a little while. It’s highly likely that someone has his attention and it ran its course and he was too ashamed to mention it. Silence sometimes saves face. I’ve been on both sides of it as a less mature adult. Be encouraged and know that someone out there is sooooo deserving of your all and is equally able to give you the same. YOUR BEST IS YET TO COME 🤩🙏🏾
@@KingPrime that is so correct! He came back and told me exactly that! That someone has his attention and he just went along with it
@@z.k.5259 well the only thing I did for him was be there with him and gif him at all the time and he was the greatest person I ever met. He actually came back snd confessed to me why he started pooling away and it had nothing to do with me. He just fall into some one that gave him what to me doing with a man without being married is completely wrong. So he found it in another woman that did not care about giving herself.
I just discover He is an avoidant person and that is a big problem having that kind of attachment
@kaelank484 awww 🥰my dear friend you made me tear up with the experience you just shared and thank you for sharing your pain. I truly understand you.
I was in so much emotional pain that I couldn’t function. Crying at all the time and looking for an answer trying to understand what went wrong. and like you said I’m really thankful that this guy came up to me finally and talked to me and explain to me what happened. Still his explanation was very painful but at the same time was a relief to know what happened; after that he wanted to be friend with me and I felt maybe is better that way then not having anything at all. So we being hanging out around two years now just as friends cause he is not into getting in a relationship but at least we talk and meet once or two times at month. we really enjoy each other company.; but I have to tell you that every time I don’t see his message at certain time he use to text me I start to feel so anxious and nervous that is insane but something that had help me is learning about types of attachments. there are a lot videos in RUclips about attachment styles and I learned I have Anxious attachment which I didn’t know about it and by the way is very common. Also learning about other people attachment made me understand better their behavior. And believe me , I know exactly how you feel and like you said people do not understand how it feels at all they have no clue what is this emotional pain is about. One thing I can tell you is to look for professional help that specialize in Attachment style because no everybody knows about this kind of attachment. BecomeSecure Now had help me a lot how to control the anxiety. her videos are in RUclips and her name is Marianna Turov. I had sections with her and she is great. Big hug to you my dear and I’ll pray for you. May the Lord bless you and give you the strength you need to surpass all this in the name of Jesus🙏🙏🙏
They don't want to say the wrong thing and really reveal who they really are! I'm just saying!
WE don't want to say the real thing cause MOST women will react emotionally instead of constructively. You being accusatory proves this point. I'm just saying!
@@sethjones9480 Try again. You'd be surprised. She pointed out that most of the times there's agenda behind the silent treatment and you taking this as an accusation shows your inability to process what's being said.
This isn’t always true. We don’t want to say the wrong thing because we don’t want to say something we’ll regret and cause any more damage to the relationship. If we really didn’t care about our loved ones we wouldn’t go silent and make efforts to compose ourselves.
Just because we want to say something doesn’t always mean we should.
If a man is suddenly silent, just walk away.
Yeah he just may need space. But sometimes it’s OK to ask what the issue is.
@@KingPrime when I asked what the “issue” was... I was ignored. I took that as my cue to bow out
@@triciam4798 Yeah… Sometimes you can’t pull it out of the other person, they have to be willing to meet you in the middle
@@triciam4798 me to then left us because of our different schedules so he says we were providing for a family
@@triciam4798 girl at least u tried , God bless u
Some are using manipulation, and if that is the case, as confident, mature, emotionally grounded women, we have nothing else to say. I will invest in what invest in me, no more, no less.
Go strong you powerful single woman
@@JonathanDillonfds-fx lol
This was not what I expected to hear but probably what I needed to hear. Thank you
I was praying about a situation with a man. Over the years, I wondering why he became quiet. I am going just sit back and relax be his friend. I am going think nothing else about it. Because it too much trying figure out what going with him or men PERIOD. Thanks for your information.
I agree same situation..
It’s challenging to pull something out of someone. It should be organically communicated. Very wise of you.
I’m 36yrs old started seeing a 49yr old man thinking we were good and then the switch up happened now here I am watching these videos I’m so hurt men don’t realize how much they hurt women this is why I stay alone it’s safer that way
Women don't realize there's a lot of men - their own - who are good, faithful, gentlemen and provide for their mates willingly, even with regards to your physical safety and spirituality.
But they're taken for granted, others are placed before them, their feelings aren't considered., endlessly up until that man just stops communicating, quits taking part in gatherings and stops acting like he's happy when he is actually suffering mostly by himself.
Meanwhile he's still engaged in providing all of the above, although silent. You🫵 have no idea.
I did what you said by the third time doing it wrong. It worked. My man opened up. Now I will always so this practice.
When I feel like I'm getting backed into a corner I'll go quiet. When I end up apologizing for feeling a certain way I get quiet. When I am Occupied with doing something and you come in and blatantly disrupt what I was doing talking about whatever it is then I'll get quiet.
I can identify with finally having a moment of peace and having it interrupted. Maybe try going into a designated place and letting other know this is my “me time”. I think they’ll understand.
@@KingPrime they'll still peek in and (annoyingly) ask, "what are you thinking about?"
When a woman gives me drama and I don't want it anymore I will leave her alone because arguing with her is pointless that's where I go into silence because if I try to argue am always the bad guy so I would just sleep in the sofa and leave her alone I hate toxic ferminism will all my heart
My fiance goes silent for days, I feel like he's trying to punish me by doing that because its the only thing I can not deal with, all you have to do is communicate that you need space and you got it, but you would risk the entire relationship because you are in your feelings. I'm always having to be the bigger person and break the silence to only find out its for something petty smh
Maybe your man is petty, but many of us are thee THEE breadwinners, the ones paying ALLL the bills - on time - while getting disregarded.
Yes it’s true for most men
You're so cool dilivering such an effective and important point of view on the subject that got so many people worked up and going crazy,the way you elaborate on the subject got me smiling, it doesn't feel as if it was something hurtful,you didn't bash anyone, you just gave a solution to the problem and where it could be coming from, most of the other people would say is because he's not thinking about you ect, thank you such a thoughtful message.
I’m going through this and it hurts. Thank you because I really needed this right now. Brother I teared up listening to this smh
U ok now
Hush....I have a similar situation going on and done even know if I should try and fix it.....just wait it out
Wise words my man
Thank you 🙏🏽
A man should apologize when he does something wrong to hurt his partner and go silent if he wants some space after apolozing it can save a good relationship.
Definitely agree!!! swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath
My husband of 25 yr misused me chocked me and cheated on me. I feel like garbage to him i remember building from the floor up and thought he was my best friend but when he started cheating here come the abuse.
He said he was so sorry he hurt me now he ghosted me two weeks ago!!.
I’ve learned that you don’t need to say a lot of words. Just say what you need to say but not in excess. It’s a process to learn. I’m too talkative. You learn more by active listening
I went silent and rogue to avoid confrontation with everyone. It has saved my life. I am at peace in my quiet bubble. Ill be the crazy old man in the woods soon.
Beer drinkin' , deer shootin' ,crazy son of a gun ol man
Lucky.....
I just read an article about how many suffer in silence and thought it would be a perfect part two to this video. Especially adding in some of the things that you’ve mentioned. Sometimes people stir up mess, bring along the drama just to get a rise out of you. And I applaud you for doing what it takes to keep your peace of mind. Your peace of mind is priceless and I wish more would adopt that concept.
😂😂
You be fine, you may find things which you never sought if you go there, and it may be for many in the days ahead.
I have this friend who asked me out but I was scared because of the long distance. Suddenly, he went silent. Then we got talking again last year and he again asked if I was seeing someone and I said no. I made a post of needing a vacation badly and he said that he was ready to host me for a week and I laughed. He said continue doing your shakara until I come for you and bring you to where I am and I laughed again. We went silent again for a year. Then just this week he asked me how I was doing and if I preferred talking a conversation. I didn't reply cos I was so angry with him. He then said that he kinda likes being ignored, he thrives in it. So I sent him a message of how hurt I feel when he goes silent and suddenly appear to send messages to me. I told him that I wouldn't want to have that type of friend. I wished him well in his future endeavors. Then he sent me messages, that it was the things I said to him that made him become silent. He said he had tried to make me see the things causing us to drift apart but he was being misunderstood. I've told him to screenshot all the things I said to him that he did not like so I could go through them and correct my mistakes.
Please advise me on what to do.
My apologies for the delay. For some reason your comment went to spam. As I read through your message, there are many questions that I have. But I will respond based on the knowledge that I know. Long-distance is tough, but not impossible. In order for this to work two people have to be committed.
It looks like both of you were scared and hesitant and making a decision. Though you sound like you wanted this, it appears that you were not only hesitant, but also silent about your desires. I think if you would’ve laid your feelings out there, perhaps things would be different. And I think this goes for him as well. Relationships require action. And I believe you were waiting on this from him and he likely pulled away because you didn’t show interest. You kept it inside and only you knew what was going on in your head. If you really like him, I say go for it. And if that ship has sailed, search for someone a little more local. That will probably see you some frustration as you move forward in a new relationship.
In your case, it sounds like you can't even get anything started and he disappears. Why waste your time on a man that can't be present...then pops up one year later. If a person is doing this in the beginning, what will he do if you really have a problem. Don't let another year go by w this seemingly emotionally disabled person...move on.
I would like to know if you got help and how it ended,,,I am in the same situation now
Silence is painfull and he dont care, cause if he is silent for more than 3 days, how could he even care. It’s done,
Well spoken with compassion.
Raine B. Thank You
Damn very good information. I am exactly the type who can't express my emotions with people. And it sucks so so so much!!
It takes a little work my man. As long as you’re continuing to get better at it one situation at a time, you’re winning. Funny… I was just talking with my dad over the weekend and he told me that it’s easier to say about 17 to 18 words rather than three simple words such as I love you. 😂.
@@KingPrime For man it most certainly is. But I think when we do get emotional it has more impact because we do it so rarely which means it is very honest maybe. 😄 Thanks for the reply.
Vigan Krasnici definitely!!! When we finally say something it’s impactful.
If they ignore you reciprocate it’s simple
Glad I accidentally stumbled onto this and decided to hear it from a man's perspective why or what may be behind it.
New to your channel. New subscriber. Very professional and great information. I tell you. I have been divorced since 1999. I am so use to doing my own thing. I had to stop in my last relationship and let my ex help me. Good stuff here. 👍🏽
Thanks for joining the journey and subscribing. I appreciate your warm comments. Being in the space of independence and doing your thing solo for a while changes the game right ?..😁 You definitely get used to doing things when you want, how you want and without the opinion of anyone else. Then getting into a relationship becomes an adjustment and is sometimes hard to allow others in your space to help and their opinions aren’t always welcomed 😂. But I’m glad that you “got over the hump”... lol. Be Well!!!
So profound! Keep speaking you are making impact in many lives. God bless you🙏🏽
Saoul!!! Blessings to you! I appreciate your support 🙏🏾
I love a sharp dressed man ...thank you
Your content enlighten me a lot! I used to find it very disturbing when men go silent during an arguments. But now I understand so much more of the reason why men acted this way, and what men are thinking. thank you so much!
I think the whole world would like to know the answer to this. Thank you for this video.
You’re welcome!! Men carry a lot of pressure and many times have a hard time expressing themselves
@@KingPrime very true. But communication is key. They need to learn it. Saves a lot of heartache further down the line
ShadaePrincess ..for sure!!! And men have to become comfortable enough to speak without reservations while the atmosphere for that must be set within the relationship.
@@KingPrime true.
It's my first time hear you up but it's really educative ,I really need some advice I met a guy 3months now . but he changed of a sudden he used to call,text but no more and he doesn't explain anything about the silence which kills me ,or maybe I rushed to think we were in a relationship.but l love him so much don't want to let him go but it's like he is gone
Take care of you in the meantime
My wife and I have been married for 35 years next month. We talked about all of the important things and had enough since to ask ourselves, is this worth an argument. After our kids were teenagers, they would ask us to talk about something they would like to discuss and asked us to talk about it. We would talk about 2-3 minutes and were done. They would say, we thought you were going to talk about it. We did. If you listen closely to each other, you’ll notice that some things have been done before and discussed before. Remember, is this worth an argument.
Witnessing this now. My guy friend haven’t spoke to me since yesterday am. I even called his job to make sure he was okay. But I’m getting silent treatment out of the blue
Wow… how often do you not normally talk and how old is the relationship?
Why would a guy waste his time on females who are friends? Not me....I don't want Female Friends. A waste of our time
I go silent because I’ve realized my silence speaks louder than my words..‼️
When I go quiet it meens that the fight is over and I no longer acknowledge that the other person is there and at 5hat moment they are dead to me
The guy I started dating has been ignoring me after an argument I said some hurtful things i apologized two days later and still no communication it’s about to be a week I’m about to give up and move forward
Charsa Frazier oh gosh!! Sorry to hear that. Sounds like you cut him deep 😳. It tough to know what those trigger words or trigger points are with people. Particularly when we are hurt and offended too. It’s a very fine line. Not sure how long the two of you have been dating, but most time you know deep down if the person is worth the time and effort to make it right (no matter what). If you’ve done all that you think is possible, he’s probably not interest anymore.
@@KingPrime
Same thing happened to me, but this time I broke up with him, but he still didn't say anything. What's the reason?
And did I do the right thing breaking up?
A week? Please give up.
Thank you. This is a new perspective and very helpful.
Hi Taura!! You’re welcome and I’m glad it could help. 😌
Is it normal for people to fall asleep during an argument or a stressful time?
Men sometimes go silent to protect his sanity. All men dont use silence as a weapon. Sometimes its just best to excuse yourself quietly and take care of yourself especially after you've tried to express your wants and needs constantly and also tried to meet hers as well.
When a woman 👩 is silent mode that means is game over ! And here I talk about me the silence I put for one year put him is the mode off stalking me and make me exosted. Peace ☮️ love ❤️ too all
I've been going out with him for 1 and a half year now. Like all relationships we spent much time together in the beginning and I noticed that he is very jealous and like to pick small fights.I have never cheated on him he has never even find anything about a third party in me. He has a past of being cheated on by one girlfriend he used to stay with. We have bonded so much but he has so much anger and I tried to understand him while not being submissive and showing him that I need to be respected. Lately he is silent and doesn't ask me anything and chat less. when I asked him he said he is trying to change as I want him to change so he doesn't wanna ask anything because thats what I want. My only problem with him I told him is to fight for no reason and to accuse me of things I did not do. So to him if we're not fighting there is no love and now he is so distance and if he continues like that I'm willing to let him go in this process of us being silent.
They also go silent 1. when they have someone else or 2. they want sex and you're not going to give it to them so they'll be on their next conquest to find someone who will give them the goods.
3. You intimidate them.
4. They realize you aren't a thot and they have to have morals, or be stable so they find someone they don't have to work hard for.
5. You can be perfect! No nagging, stable, attractive, courteous , giving, can cook, you keep your body right, independent, you massage him, give him sex when HE wants but he still goes silent.
( They are afraid of their emotions and think you don't deserve them so they find a downgrade that once again " They don't have to work hard for and or insecure because you make him see his shortcomings.
Basically you're too good for him and rejection is your protection.
All good and relevant reasons... someone’s it comes down to choosing poorly. Which is why we should take our time with how we progress in relationship because (too your point) many people (men and women) aren’t willing to work for it, are lazy or too damage from previous relationships; thus making them emotionally unavailable.
TRUE😦
My recently messaged said “. I’m very happy to talk with you “ but now 2 days he not read it yet 😂
😂😅
Men by nature don’t want confrontation with a woman. Not out of fear, but for approval. Men want a woman’s approval and if she is aggravated she will not want us close. Thats counter to where men want to be. Most men by nature WANT to be close to women. If we are “needed & wanted” we are useful. If we are useful we are acceptable. So avoiding confrontation is paramount in our mind. If we keep quiet we are listening to see if we can find a solution that we can make happen. If women don’t want a solution it’s important for women to make that point to start off with & 2ndly men, it’s important for us to listen and learn to read when she wants a solution or just wants an ear & a hug. They give some clues. But women we are literal. So you can do your part & say which that your looking for when you can.
Bruce… This is beautifully and masterfully written. Men definitely want to be useful, it’s a big part of the male DNA. And we’re not mind readers, so it does help quite a bit when we are given specifics. 😁
So sweet
How much time do u need until to text her back?
@@jhica5718 my philosophy is don’t play games. Just Return messages when you have an answer for her. Things will be as they will be.
@@aspiringmen4374 No, im asking you. I'm a lady and is thinking he's seeing other girls for this a week and a half silent treatment........I sure aint gonna feel the same if he decided to reach out. It upped my insecurities.
wow your video just appeared..a very mature way of understanding a man's mind, I think the guy I am seeing is going silent because i came on too strong but that is just who i am and will not apologize for it and i will still show affection haha, its been 2 weeks and I respect the space he needs, if he comes back I will honestly welcome him back with open arms so that he can have a chance to just be him, but it shouldn't happen all the time. a lot of woman say walk away but men think differently then us and that is what they don't understand.
Hi Didi!! Thanks for dropping in here. I definitely understand both sides. You must speak up and let your intentions be known. That’s a nice quality to have. The flip is when you come on too strong and it intensifies, a man can feel smothered. I mean we love the lady in our lives, but we need a little space too 😂.. if it helps, maybe talk about it before squeezing his oxygen out early in the process. 🤣🤣.. seriously.. communicate it.
@@KingPrime haha okay noted thank you.
Gurl, 2 weeks is a long time for space...did he texted u back yet?
Am going through this right now my partner is silent and cant tell what has gone wrong, it really hurts coz when l ask he claims theres nothing wrong l think walking away is the best thing to do
I don’t think you’re wrong for this. I’d inform him and be done… considering you’ve already tried many times
Wow! Thank you! Your message was so clear and made very plain. Thanks again. Ms. Sheila
You’re very welcome!! Thank you!!
I just stumbled across this and if someone goes silent wouldn’t that be considered a red flag & confirmation that the person is emotionally unhealthy & to just cut that person off?
@Tara Lynn Not necessarily. Everyone deals with stress and men deal with stress differently. It’s just a different type and level of pressure..Not to make an excuse. To your point, it could definitely be a red flag depending on the norm and dynamics of the relationship. For example something that you two would normally talk about and all of a sudden one person goes quiet about that topic. Sometimes he may be processing what is being said.
If this silence has gone on for and extended time we’re happens more frequently than it should, I do think that is emotionally unhealthy. Cutting them off maybe necessary but I would be sure to have the conversation of what your expectations are and what your standards are in a relationship. That way if you decide to move on, the expectations were stated and known up front… Well… Prior to moving on. The two people in the relationship know how much they mean to each other and can often decide whether it’s worth working through or not. I sometimes think we leave challenging areas in relationships because leaving is the easy way out. Sometimes it’s worth it… Sometimes it’s not
@@KingPrime Thank you for taking the time to respond. I truly appreciate it! 🙌🏽 I am trying to exercise patience and understanding with this individual. However, I am struggling remain this way. LOL! I am forever growing and evolving! If this individual is an upper 40 year old would you say that they will probably never change? If so, ✌🏽. Some people are willing to grow while others rather remain the same. Perhaps it’s a lost cause. Thank you for your advice!
@@socialmediawisdom22 You’re welcome. If he’s in his upper 40’s, chances are he’s been shaped already. It also depends on how long he’s been this way. If it’s been just a little while it’s probably repairable. Otherwise, it’s likely not gonna happen. I see exactly where you’re coming from with evolving. Its a big problem when one person has a growth mindset and outlook while the other person has a fixed mindset. 😔
@@KingPrime Thank you again! New subscriber here! I have some thinking to do. Have a wonderful evening!
@@socialmediawisdom22 I’m grateful to have you as a subscriber and I’m confident that your decision will be well calculate it. Please bear with me as my content is not “focused” right now. But my goal is to push out a few more videos that I have already recorded. Then everything following those will be focused on relationships and issues surrounding men and women on individual basis. And also taking topics from the audience. Do you have a pleasant evening! 😊🙏🏽
When I express myself in told I'm too nerdy or I don't act black enough or I have to pay for everything in a relationship while being belittled so I decided to go mute. Tried my best but it always boils down to those same things. So I don't see a need to speak
Sounds you are greatly under appreciated!! Someone out there is praying for some just like you …JUST AS YOU ARE!!! Sometimes we try and mold ourselves to become what someone wants us to be. Our authenticity is our power. Be you and if you need to move on until you find your person that can and will appreciate you. And as for not acting black enough 🤦🏽♂️… what is that?!!! That alone shows their lack of culture. Regardless of race, we don’t all fit one stereotype. That’s a small minded comment.
@@KingPrime well unfortunately it happens a lot in our culture. I am good with my hands, I can build things, I'm a hydroponics farmer, I can do an engine swap by hand. But they see only that I can pay for their bills while at the same time being told I need to "act more black" no matter what I do is never good enough.
@@vash254 i need help regarding relationship please help
Depends on the situation I am quiet when i am highly pissed off at the woman I'm with bcuz if I keep talking while angry I will say something that maybe very very hurtful bcuz I'm hurt so the best thing for me to do is to get some alone time for a lil while and no I am not running from my problems bcuz I do plan on addressing them later just not n the heat of the moment bcuz there will b more emotion tied into my response rather than logic.
But with that being said what he is describing doesn't pertain to me.
How much alone time do u need?
You are very calm when you speak ♥♥♥
Thank you so much, I appreciate that
Definitely 👌
He went quiet bc he's guilty.
dbedazzling1 that’ll do it too 😌
nope
WOW😐
My partner can really piss me off sometimes but I always still love her. I know the silent treatment is wrong, but I use it in those cases when the choice is accidentally say something I would regret, or just say nothing. I almost always come back and close the loop once I’ve thought the entire situation through. The other time I go silent is when I habitually get interrupted. I tell people we can have a respectful conversation, or I’m happy to just sit and listen …… their choice.
Hmmm, it isn't easy to feel ignored.
Putting soo much effort in a relationship without s being shared equal importance it very painful
Funny while listening to this...Babyface-Whip Appeal came on 😳 every word is about communication.
After being walked on for 25 years and treated like trash…. Abused.
Denied sex for most of the 25 years…. Everything made your fault. Lied about…take all the money i make and keep her own. Cheated on me while the church pushed me to stay for the kids.
Silence is my mercy.
My husband just is in silent mode for months. The only time he talks is if he wants to tell me off about something. Other then that he just dosent talk. It's very awkward in the home. He won't talk and for hours and days on end he can just sit there on his phone or he only talks to his daughter (step daughter). I don't know what to do?.
He went on silence its been almost a month. I’m askinghim . N telling him its hurting me like hell. Why hes doing so?? He come n check my messages but same time he is having fun with girl (she used to be our mutual friend ) what I should do now?
Even when you try to reach out to talk or text he does not answer nor reply.
He doesn’t want me. That’s why. I’m so freaking hurt right now.
I really want to know if he likes me his very shy everyone tells me he is and they also tell me to make a move for some reason but he rejected his friends try to get my attention and his friends push him and he tells them to stop in a very low voice, he also gets very quiet and he talks very low I can’t even hear him, he looks at me from very far and never approaches me? I think he doesn’t like me😭
This is very comforting to hear
Thank you so much!! Glad it could help 🤩
I go silent - when i see no point anymore explaining to a creature
When I go quiet is that I waiting for an answer r a question? Otherwise there's nothing to say r answer to it.
My man is typed of cant expess his emotion and talk less all the time. I do understand that who he is, but we spend 7 yrs together alot of thing that we cant talk everytime spmething happen he always remains silent and I have to understand him. All these year make me felt so tired of understand him beside I didnt get what I want. Alot of thing i need to talk and want it clear but i dont get it. Many time i feel wasting time to this man.
Mai, I’m so sorry to hear about the lack of expression within your relationship. It seems that you have tried many things in order to have a better outcome. I am also proud of you for the effort as many people would simply give up and move on. Or… They would try and give the silent treatment back to the other person, which doesn’t work either. If you have the ability to seek professional help, I would seek counseling with your partner. Be sure to express yourself to him of everything that is on your mind and how it makes you feel. If it’s worth it and if you’re worth it to him, he will be willing to work to become better within your relationship. If he doesn’t want to do it, I believe that that is your permission to move on to a more rewarding relationship.
That's the problem .your thinking about what you want and what you feel you deserve..
Mine is a long distance and am stuck to break it. I have tried my best.
Are you saying your are not sure if you want to break it? Long distance is tough, but it can be done. You both have to be very honest, have frequent connectivity and plans to bring things together at some point. Some point meaning a defined moment in time. Six months, one year etc... and start navigating that way. But have the conversation to make sure that you both are on the same page. And if not, move on. You’ve gotta have boundaries and standards.
My man vanished 2 months now after 3.5 years of constant everyday communication. I accused him of something n he denied it. He called n I cancelled his call. I was pissed. We never talk since then 1.5 months after i call him n still no response.
That sounds like deep hurt on both sides.
Sometimes things run their course and we must be at peace with that. On the other hand, if this person means that much to you or if you mean that much to each other, you will find a way to resolve this and things will come back together. It’s not easy but if the love is strong enough and desires are mutual it will happen
@@KingPrime unfortunately it got worst. I found out the girl I found out about was staying with him a month after we stop talking. I am single n manifesting true loyal love. He's older and not acting right. Him n that girl also split n she's heartbroken. He n I was together 3.5 years. I expected marriage but he had to many options. As hurt as I am. I will manifest what I want rather than a person. I never expected any of this ending but such is life.
dbedazzling1 as unfortunate as that is, you now have the truth of the situation and your personal truth. Love that you’re manifesting things for self happiness and knowing the rest will follow 😉
@@KingPrime THANK You. You're amazing💖
See I agree with you, but not with people in this comment. I go silent because I process things very slowly and to solve something but I find that women who don’t have father figures in their lives will say it’s a form of manipulation when really the women is insecure.
From this night onward, I chose to be more silent.
Only if you need to.... if you need to be vocal, do that as well. Sometimes being vocal is necessary.
@@KingPrime thanks brotha
what if Idk why he is doing silent treatment? and we aren't a couple, we only talking (dating others too, we wanted to meet soon for the first time), but we had little hard talk about it, but I changed the subject and then we started joking about other things (so i thought everything is fine), but now he is silent, didn't open my last messages since sunday. Im thinking he is immaturre, but idk what to do. Everyone told me to move on, but I care abt this connection
He went mute on me after I said something he didn't like and it's killing me 😭😭
First thing that comes to mind is be slow to speak, quick to hear and slow to wrath. That said, I’m wondering exactly what you said and what tone did you use to deliver your words. Words can be painful ...even to the strongest men. However, recovery can happen based on how you apologize. You may have to go “over the top” to make up for it. Not saying kiss his arse 🤣🤣🤣🤣... but put a good effort in to apologize from the heart and do it in a way that speaks HIS love language. I’m hopeful for your conversation and relationship 😊🙏🏽
@@KingPrime I discovered he was cheating on me I confronted him he went silent. I apologized beg and still he will tell me I will call u later and never does. I took my self esteem into my hands, my self worth and I went silent too I can't kill myself no
Listen ... you CAN NOT say the WRONG thing to the RIGHT person !! Fact ..move on
@@lifeslessons9889 exactly
I usually go, so should i stay far away as possible? And they immediately tell me instructions
Very and very speak well , ❤🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
I've been talking to a man who asked me on a date for after lockdown and we were talking really well through message. Then he admitted that he is struggling with anxiety so I kept nice about it and reassured him it's okay to feel down sometimes and hope he's okay etc. Anyway the past 3 days he has gone very quiet. At first I thought maybe he isn't interested and is ghosting me. But he hasn't posted anything on his social media and I am still friends with him on there. I am unsure if his silence means he has lost interest or if he is dealing with something else. I am worried I will say the wrong thing so I have backed off with messaging him. I am not expecting him to message me 24/7, but I just want a message either him saying 'he's not interested' or 'I'm gonna be off my phone for a few days so I may be quiet' so atleast I know where I stand. It's bugging me and I don't know what to do next.
Nothing like being left hanging. ☹️😩 The best thing you can do is be direct with it. I think your heart of care and concern is very genuine; and at the same time you’re not signing up to be an immediate caregiver to these issues.
I’d send him a message, actually ....give him - call ☎️ and if he doesn’t answer, leave a message and give him his space. With zero expectations you’ll be in a better mental space. If he responds, that’s great and you can take it from there by letting him know what’s tolerable and what’s not. Stand by your expectations.
My situation right now, so frustrating 😑
Did you ride him
It sounds like you two never met. If that is the case then stop investing in him emotionally. A man who is interested in a woman won't let anxiety stop him. In the beginning when I first started dating my man he told me he has anxiety. I told him I did as well. It just bonded us even more. We never have anxiety with each other tho. We feel at peace when we are together. Look for a man who doesn't let his fears get in the way of his love for you.
My long distance boyfriend is pulling away. He hasn't called me in 4 weeks and rarely texts. And I am flying to see him in 4 weeks! What does that mean? Shall I still fly out there
Very informative and helpful information. Thank you so very much. You are very well spoken.
Thank you so much!! I appreciate you!
Nope. Not all men respond well to this. Im daying a 60 year old and if i just say what can i do for you today? Phrased multiple different ways in a gentle way and he says stop your ohychology mambo jumbo. Now after 18 montha he comes home i give him his dinner and im just quiet. Ive spent time with him breaking up getting back togther telling me no one will love me when he randonly gets mad. Im on my way out. I can see how this would have worked for others
Let him go! If a man doesn’t show you respect or that he’s in love with you then ladies don’t let the door hit him in the butt! We women are worth more than to be a man’s doormat! He’s not a man if he’s going to abuse you mentally and make you worry and cry. It’s time to put you in God’s hands and trust for your future to be blessed with a better life.
Hi there, my boyfriend and I just clocked 6 months dating. He is suddenly quiet, when I call or text he does not reply and often says he was tired and asleep. I only call him like once a week. Should I just move on or give him space and time?
How do you talk to a woman you love so much and she won't listen. She love to talk talk talk talk, and when she asked a question or ask for your opinion before you can quote on it she intervene without letting you finish. Thats when i go silent with build up inside. What do i do?
Haha 😂... I defiantly get it!!! You should leave a note for her ... maybe on her pillow or on the bathroom mirror with a quote. “I never learned anything while I was talking”. I would drop the “Honey I need to talk with you“ on her. This way she will know that it is something serious and when you FINALLY get her, let her know how that you need things to be mutual with respect to listening and it would mean a lot to you if she could try harder to listen to you as an equal in the relationship
oh yes just another question when he goes silent should the woman wait for him to reach out or should we? is this situation i did tell him to let me know when he is available thanx in advance
You’re very welcome and this can go both ways. I think if you haven’t heard from him in a week, it’s ok to reach out to let him know you’re thinking about him. If you do this after a certain amount of time (a few weeks) and you get no response, he’s not interested.
@@KingPrime thank you so much we are not in a relationship I forgot to tell you that but i will reach out anyway because it comes from a caring place.
@@KingPrime Why doesn't he just tell you that!! Ghosting really hurts!
6:17, my feelings exactly.
It's been 2 n 1/2 months he is being silent, coz I have argued with him. Will he not come?🙇♀️
Why go silent on your partner for days and weeks after an argument, does that mean he's tired of the relationship? Mind you, you've asked repeatedly and apologised but he still keeps mute
Sounds like it’s been a repetitive occurrence and the partner is perhaps tired of revisiting the same topic. Or it could be a very deep offense that hurt the other person. Maybe try apologizing in a different way.
I agree with @Terrill Tarver.
I even admit to giving my wife the silent treatment in the past because I became tired of having disagreements over things like her saying I "always" or "never" do this or that when we both knew that she'd say that in order to try to justify whatever she was feeling in that moment to prove whatever point she was aiming for.
I also think that unlike women, men aren't equipped mentally to casually entertain stressful conflict (debating sports don't count no matter how absent minded the other guy may be about the sport or athlete he's speaking on... it's all in fun in the end).
For example:
Women are known to entertain catty fussing sessions with or about whomever, and carry on in the next moment as if nothing happened.
Men on the other hand can't generally operate in that fashion because we have an inate quality when it comes to contentious moments. We have to destroy or abandon whatever is disrupting our peace. (This is why you don't see men arguing as often as you see women arguing....men will either talk it out rationally, walk away, or resort to extreme violence....and the silent treatment we give our ladies is indicative of us chosing to "walk away" in moments that we interpret as contentious. Btw, that doesn't necessarily mean we want to end the relationship...only the mental uncomfort we get from contentious dealings with our ladies. Also, even if out ladies apologize, we'll won't accept it immediately because we still need time to recover).
@@mobetta2092 that's very true sometimes I just get tired of on and off like am a switch button if it becomes repetitive I upgrade my silent treatment to make her know that I can't continue with that kind of behavior piss me off and next day expect me to smile at you, if I can't smash your face then I will just ignore you and stay away from you sleep in the sofa and let you sleep alone and be free from me
@@melaninbotswana2474 yes indeed. A few years ago wife made the mistake of telling me how much it hurts her for me to give her the silent treatment.
Once I found that out it was my go to whenever she felt the need to try to disrupt my peace with an attempt to drag me into one of her occasional and unnecessary mood swings (she's generally not like that but I think it's in her nature to need to every once in a while complain about SOMETHING no matter how easy going we are... especially when she brings up something that may have happened days or weeks ago that she didn't bring to my attention at that moment. She'll then wanna complain about it and get upset because I didn't remember what I supposedly did wrong....even though she seemed as all was well in that moment, she'll say I should've known that she was upset but I'm no mind reader).
Like you, I'm not gonna hit her so the next best thing is to give the silent treatment because it not only punishes her, but it gives me peace and quiet state until I choose to talk again.
@@Riedebee if that’s how you interpret it, I’m not here to try and convince you otherwise.
Silent treatment is toxic behavior and emotional abuse. You can go silent after you explained why, but if you do not...then you using narcissistic games nobody deserved. Only a man child react like that...SPEAK UP...
Very well spoken & understood
I found out his been lying to me about his real identity for over a year now, I confronted him about it but he chose to end the relationship.am confuse right now why he hide his real names from me over a year
I think he's living a good life
Double life
Hey, he told me he will get back to me soon, he is going through family problems, its been 6 days, do you think he is trying to push me away orhe might be genuinely going thru staff?
They never tell every thing about their past. Also I have a 45 year old son. He does not express his feelings. He is quite.
This is very helpful and valuable advice, many thanks!