Secret Service Agent: How to Find Your Voice, SPEAK UP, & Communicate Well | Evy Poumpouras

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  • Опубликовано: 16 окт 2021
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    On Today's Episode:
    Check out Evy’s Book: Becoming Bulletproof here: amzn.to/3vOnPAQ
    This episode is brought to you by Evy's new course Becoming Bulletproof: How To Read People And Detect Deception. Go to bit.ly/3bK0buu to learn more.
    Though we all know how important communication is for literally every relationship you have, very few have taken the time to learn how to do it well. When communication is not done well, relationships suffer, individuals suffer and the consequences can be high stakes.
    If there’s any chance of your communication needing improvement, you’re in the right place. Grab and pen and paper, you’ll want to take notes and add this to your favorite playlist to listen to again. Evy Poumpouras is a former secret service agent and an Unstoppable Badass, here to lay out everything you need to know about communication alongside Unstoppable Badass, Lisa Bilyeu. Spoiler Alert! This is about you, and the tactics you can learn and practice to improve your communication skills to build rapport. It’s not about what the other person should do.
    Unstoppable Women of Impact Tips:
    Build rapport
    Tell the other person exactly what you’re looking for
    Evy’s Strategies for Building Rapport
    Acceptance: recognize what is being said without trying to change or protest it.
    Adaptability: able to adjust to new conditions or circumstances.
    Autonomy: having the capacity to make informed and un coerced decisions.
    Empathy: ability to see from the other person’s perspective
    Unstoppable Communication Questions to Ask:
    Who are you speaking to?
    Who is that person?
    How do I speak to this person?
    What is your goal and what is the best way for you to achieve that goal?
    Unstoppable Key Terms:
    Rapport: The ability to understand and communicate with people
    Mirroring: When one person imitates how the person across moves, talks or acts
    Identify Based Motivation: Where perception of self motivates you to take action toward a goal
    Instrumental Based Motivation: The end state is what’s motivating the person to take action
    Relational Motivation: The way that two or more people are connected
    Order Evy Poumpouras’ book, Becoming Bulletproof: amzn.to/3hDQ4e4
    SHOW NOTES:
    Build Rapport | Eva on why established rapport is a ping pong match for communication [0:45]
    Strategies | 4 ways to build rapport and keep people talking and communicating [1:41]
    Using Strategies | Example for using these strategies with close relationships & situations [8:07]
    Building Blocks | How building rapport establishes connection, trust and faith [10:23]
    Close Relationships | Handling rapport and these strategies with close family & friends [13:28]
    Being Adaptable | Not being so rigid, allowing people the space y build rapport [16:15]
    Lisa’s Rapport | Lisa shares behind the scenes ways that she builds rapport with guests [17:51]
    Get In Synch | Identity motivation vs instrumental motivation & getting to cooperation [19:26]
    Cooperative Zone | When you find a way to move the conversation forward together [26:53]
    Motivation | Eva explains how to use base motivations to get in synch and adapt [33:20]
    Identity Vs. Instrumental | Lisa and Eva showing you how it’s done [34:03]
    Choose Your Words Thoughtfully | Define words that you use, comply vs. resist [35:40]
    ‘No’ | Improving ways that you say no with compassion and without being harsh [41:38]
    ‘Sorry’ | Ways that language diminishes you when you apologize for everything [43:13]
    Word Play | How words land with people: powerful, shut people down, provoke reaction [46:25]
    Word Challenge | Lisa & Eva share how different words make them feel [47:13]
    QUOTES:
    “When it comes to communication, rapport is king. When you have rapport you have trust. When you have trust you have cooperation.” Evy Poumpouras [0:48]
    “I have someone who’s giving me no trust, and I want to move that relationship forward, I do it through rapport.” Evy Poumpouras [8:00]
    “People don’t remember what you say to them, what people remember is how you make them feel.” Evy Poumpouras [26:23]
    “Rather than me trying to change you, I’m going to adapt to you.” Evy Poumpouras [29:23]
    “Language can also diminish you and there are some people who their language is littered with, ‘I’m sorry’ and I think when you use that language when it lands on that person, it lands in a negative way for you.” Evy Poumpouras [43:39]
    Follow Evy Poumpouras:
    Website: www.evypoumpouras.com/
    Twitter: / evypoumpouras
    LinkedIn: / evypoumpouras
    Facebook: / evypoumpouras
    Instagram: / evypoumpouras

Комментарии • 465

  • @LisaBilyeu
    @LisaBilyeu  2 года назад +82

    Drop in the comments who you would like to be able to communicate more effectively with. Also join Lisa and Evy in the LIVE chat during the premiere October 17th 9AM Pacific!

    • @Hyderagean
      @Hyderagean 2 года назад +9

      My mom. 🙄

    • @lauramosneagu6177
      @lauramosneagu6177 2 года назад +6

      I would like to be able to communicate better with myself as I feel that I am not good at identifying my needs and this makes go into a vicious circle of binge eating and so on.

    • @_asantesana_squashbanana_
      @_asantesana_squashbanana_ 2 года назад +3

      Any advice on abusive family members that you are not in the financial or geographical or emotional position to cut off or fully grey rock yet? Thank-you for your time xxx

    • @_asantesana_squashbanana_
      @_asantesana_squashbanana_ 2 года назад +3

      Your advice has already helped me de-escalate several volatile situations, thank-you for giving the knowledge and skills to start protecting & validating myself. On the journey out. Any advice would be gratefully received. Especially if one is the family scapegoat/black sheep and has barriers to escape.

    • @_asantesana_squashbanana_
      @_asantesana_squashbanana_ 2 года назад +3

      I have sacrificed many years of my life for my siblings and pets to ensure their care and to keep the negative attention and focus on me as I am the oldest and I wish I had someone like me to turn to when I was younger, perhaps I wouldn't be so damaged. Still I have failed them. They also are damaged. I'm 28 and my youngest sibling has 2 years before she turns 18 and wants me to live my life. I am trying to move forwards and become the person I know I have the potential to be, albeit a little late.

  • @zainabthedragon6528
    @zainabthedragon6528 2 года назад +143

    Evy and Lisa are an unstoppable duo

    • @lisabilyeu8103
      @lisabilyeu8103 2 года назад +3

      Hahaha thanks!!!

    • @SydMountaineer
      @SydMountaineer 2 года назад +6

      I agree! They are a great pair! I love the way Lisa is so very inspired by learning as much as she can - she is so very authentic, they both are.

  • @_pudu661
    @_pudu661 2 года назад +85

    Rapport Strategies: 15:08
    1. Acceptance
    2. Adaptability
    3. Autonomy
    4. Empathy
    1. Beware of your ego. Remember that although you may not agree with someones POV, identity, their opinion, their decision, their feelings, etc, what will move you forward is accepting it. Not as your own pov, identity, opinion, decision, etc, but that THAT is their reality/experience.
    2. Beware of the ego, its a conversation, a ping pong, not a checklist of saying what you need to say or getting info. Know what your goal is for the conversation but adapt to change in topic, let them take you on a ride, be considerate, then when the moment comes, you can bring it back to your intention. Rigidity will make you unhappy easily. Adapt to the waves, dont try and control the ocean.
    3. Give others the dignity of decision
    4. Seek first to understand, then be understood. Understand their point of view, their experience, feelings, motives.

    • @prismonthethehorizon5793
      @prismonthethehorizon5793 2 года назад +3

      Cool, really good note taking, you covered something I missed....really really helpful seeing this. Hope it helps you alot, the book is cool too xxx

    • @mehrinali4783
      @mehrinali4783 2 года назад

      Thank you!

    • @dawnnj3235
      @dawnnj3235 2 года назад +1

      Thanks I added this to my notes on brilliance.💪😉

    • @wolfgang7812
      @wolfgang7812 Год назад

      I disagree with being taken for a ride! You don't want to be taken for a ride with another person especially if they are toxic!

  • @gabrielaradu2970
    @gabrielaradu2970 2 года назад +58

    This is how I've got hurt, when I didn't said NO at the right time, to the wrong people. Narcissists will feel like their ego was attacked no matter how gentle you are when you speak. They think that they're entitled to get anything they want.

    • @ninjagirlnomeansno9403
      @ninjagirlnomeansno9403 Год назад

      Absolutely tremendous, I understand what you are saying, Peace, love to you, Thank you 😀😀😀😀😀😀😁😁😁😁😁💞💞💞

    • @connie10000
      @connie10000 11 месяцев назад

      Yes, I hear ya. Narcissist need to grow up😊

    • @doriannemosich232
      @doriannemosich232 27 дней назад

      Narcissists can be intentionally malicious vindictive destructive, they come with a pattern of a long failed track record, they refuse to learn & are criminals. They can't be trusted & they are only there to deplete your success and steal & make you like them a failure that doesn't make sense. They are envious of everyone that is contented and successful.

  • @myacct8304
    @myacct8304 2 года назад +93

    I love this so much. This is why I have resistance to sayings like, "The truth hurts," and be "brutally honest." The truth doesn't have to be painful in order to land, and if one can't control whether or not they hurt someone with their words, then they haven't learned how to properly communicate.

    • @bereal6590
      @bereal6590 2 года назад

      So true... I say this to people close to me, does ialter absolutely not as they aren't listening and only care if it's directed their way! 😊

    • @BellaM_1011
      @BellaM_1011 2 года назад +9

      I think you can definitely control your words and I do agree that being "brutality honest" is a kind of excuse to say whatever you want to say without minding the person on the other side. There's a heart and a soul hearing your words and you have to be careful but taking accountability for another people's feelings is too much. You will never be able to please everybody. You can say something that will hurt somebody but the difference is: you can do this purposely or without intention. Some nice words can unfortunately still hurt if the subject is delicate. I believe the whole point is: I can take control and responsibility for what I say but I do not agree that "I can control how others feel about it."

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 2 года назад +2

      @@BellaM_1011 49:00 😂

  • @joannachimonides3644
    @joannachimonides3644 2 года назад +135

    Saying 'NO' indirectly may cause the other person think that you actually say 'MAYBE' so it may give them hope that you may change your mind about something. Maybe it's better to politely say NO and then explain why? The worst truth is better than the best lie❤

    • @steveblobs4851
      @steveblobs4851 2 года назад +12

      I guess it's a cultural thing. In my culture people indeed need a direct "no" or else they will take it wrong. In the US (or Spain or UK) it's different. As she said, adaptability is the key.

    • @zin82e98
      @zin82e98 2 года назад +3

      I agree. Say no thank you because such and such, so that they understand it’s not them you’re rejecting

    • @thegiftofguidance
      @thegiftofguidance 2 года назад +4

      Varies depending on the situation. Some Nos should be very stern to protect yourself and your identity. But when someone lets themselves be vulnerable with you, say an acquaintance, usually shy asks you to brunch but they’re very negative and drains your energy, you can say no politely. Depends on who u are as a person too

    • @sweetbabyem
      @sweetbabyem 2 года назад +2

      That's there problem, no is no, no is not maybe and if you can't grasp that you'll probably end up in jail lol

    • @steveblobs4851
      @steveblobs4851 2 года назад +1

      @@hopeful9160 Nobody argues with that. But a person will want to know why. Don't you think it's rude to walk around cutting people off with your NOs,?
      "Shall we meet up after work?"
      "No".
      "Why not?"
      "No is a complete sentence. Sorry, have to go now".

  • @LouisaWatt
    @LouisaWatt 2 года назад +58

    There’s some people where you intuitively know that they don’t receive some things very well, so I’ll attempt to deliver the softer version of a message, but… they’re also the same people who don’t listen properly or WANT to hear anything which isn’t aligning with what they want… so then I have to be blunt and at that point they explode in rage, or accuse me of hurting them and being a terrible person.
    There are some people who make it impossible to communicate with them.

    • @hissyfitz7890
      @hissyfitz7890 2 года назад +17

      Usually narcissists… if you don’t buy what they’re selling they explode. 💣💥💣💥💣💥💣💥💣💥

    • @steveblobs4851
      @steveblobs4851 2 года назад +6

      It's always worth to try and move on without these people in your life. No people are indispensable. I know it can take time and effort, but is always worth it.

    • @bereal6590
      @bereal6590 2 года назад +2

      Same here 😊

    • @user-cl6uj5bn2f
      @user-cl6uj5bn2f 2 года назад +3

      YES. Cluster B's 💯

    • @hissyfitz7890
      @hissyfitz7890 2 года назад +1

      @@user-cl6uj5bn2f - 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯 - have removed the 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝 from my life! 😆

  • @maya.lingreen
    @maya.lingreen 2 года назад +140

    Absolutely LOVE these videos with Lisa and Evy - so freaking inspiring and applicable to so many situations! More please!!

    • @bumblebee803
      @bumblebee803 2 года назад +1

      I also love seeing them together, especially as a fellow Greek lady (in Australia).

  • @NathalieLazo
    @NathalieLazo 2 года назад +32

    Hey YOU, incredible person reading this...The truth is you are confident and good enough already with who you are, where you are at and what you have right now to have the success you want in life. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn that skill and go after it! I believe in you so much! Have an awesome day! - Love, Nat ❤️

  • @velvetgardenia
    @velvetgardenia 2 года назад +79

    This will ABSOLUTELY be listened to more than once! Words, and their delivery are SO IMPORTANT, and I think few people stop to really think about the power of words- which is tremendous.

  • @user-ee4xu9lh4k
    @user-ee4xu9lh4k 2 года назад +29

    5 mins in and Evy’s method of “softening” a no is the thing I abhor most. Being vague is manipulative and disrespectful. If someone can’t handle a no, and they take your honest truth personally and make that about their identity, that’s a boundary break and NOT your responsibility. People feel when you respect them even if declining the thing they want. I simply cannot understand why we would want to coddle and perpetuate this all too common selfish mindset that comes from a lack of healthy boundaries. Softening makes everything worse. It disrespects yourself and them. Pain is not a bad thing, it helps us learn and grow. If someone needs to experience enough hurt to get to the point they seek out and learn healthy interactions, wouldn’t that be ideal for them/you/society/their future generations? Time to evolve. With full compassion for all of us and the world we are currently creating for the generations after us, can we not harbor and thusly condone dysfunctional ways anymore please? This is genuinely a “survival of the fittest” issue. If a family line doesn’t learn and pass down healthy behaviors, the family line won’t continue for long. That’s how it’s supposed to be. This type of manipulation will leave others confused, feeling like there’s no ground to stand on with you, and they’ll lose respect and not want to interact with you. And when that gets passed down, it will work less and less so that it isolates to extinction. Just tell your truth, clearly, with kindness and respect.

    • @wolfgang7812
      @wolfgang7812 Год назад +1

      I think true rapport IS based on kindness and respect; as long a there are fluid boundaries (boundaries which push back when imposed upon on).

    • @therealkoolaidandkale
      @therealkoolaidandkale Год назад +1

      Thank you. I felt like I was the only one listening to that part going, "...but Evy, you're so succinct and direct in everything else..... what's wrong with respecting yourself enough to just say NO if that's what you really feel?? 🤔"
      I just had someone whom I consider an unofficial mentor reach out to me for help, but I would've had to sacrifice my values. While other people focused on who this person was and what the situation could POSSIBLY do for me, I could see that it wouldn't work out like I hoped and it was more important to me to preserve the relationship. So, I said: "I'm honored that you considered me, but because I'd like to maintaining the respect that I have for you and this relationship, I'm declining the role."
      She respected me for my honesty. Now she has a better idea that I'm confident enough to exercise strong boundaries no matter who's at the other end, and considering the other person as a whole is important in any relationship dynamic.

  • @DaisyAruba
    @DaisyAruba 2 года назад +364

    Why doesn’t anyone talk about siblings ? It’s always a parent or a friend or romantic partner. It is SO RARE to hear “or a sibling” on any video that I watch for help.

    • @rebeccacharles5758
      @rebeccacharles5758 2 года назад +12

      👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    • @lyn8490
      @lyn8490 2 года назад +39

      Same ! I have trouble with my siblings too ... ur not alone at all itz just not talked about much

    • @taliagoodwomanmann
      @taliagoodwomanmann 2 года назад +26

      Unfortunately, inhad to learn through experience about sibling betrayal. I am the youngest of five girls and all of my sisters betrayed me terribly.

    • @CessLa2oya
      @CessLa2oya 2 года назад +5

      I would like that too✔️

    • @hissyfitz7890
      @hissyfitz7890 2 года назад +6

      🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯

  • @SydMountaineer
    @SydMountaineer 2 года назад +20

    "Read the face" - Lisa is so authentic - her ambition /eagerness to learn & teach and how she goes about it makes her a SUPERHERO!

  • @elenafetter9690
    @elenafetter9690 2 года назад +53

    Language is the most important tool for empowering yourself and others. Thank you, Evy, for your terrific book!

    • @wolfgang7812
      @wolfgang7812 Год назад

      Just be careful you are not empowering psychopaths; sociopaths and narcopaths.

    • @elenafetter9690
      @elenafetter9690 Год назад

      @@wolfgang7812 I have noticed that those types of individuals are not really self reflective. They tend not to read empowering self help books. They dont think they need help. You are not in danger.

  • @c.a.sword26
    @c.a.sword26 2 года назад +28

    I would love to be able to communicate more effectively with my 11 year old son.
    Speaking with your child in an understandable and effective way feels like it can change daily!

    • @GB0915
      @GB0915 2 года назад +3

      Yes! I was just thinking this about my 7 yr old daughter. It’s such a challenge at times, but, as Evy & Lisa would say, It’ll get better. We don’t communicate well enough YET. We WILL learn how to better respect each other through our communication & actions.

  • @eleen78
    @eleen78 2 года назад +33

    I can't wait. I love Evy and Lisa.

  • @corses700
    @corses700 2 года назад +28

    I CANT wait to watch this, previous interviews were so worth to watch, you guys need to see more Evy interviews just type her name and there is plenty more

  • @katarinahinsey3931
    @katarinahinsey3931 7 дней назад

    So what I'm getting from Evy is she doesn't give a crap about your long drawn out personal story, but as a rule she lets you get it out and halfway pretends to care so that you'll keep on doing whatever it is she needs you to do. This woman is a true genius.

  • @OceanOfLight
    @OceanOfLight 2 года назад +14

    Evy and Lisa...partners in Prime! Love you guys thank you for everything you do to share with us ...Im empowered more with every word ...

  • @txspacemom765
    @txspacemom765 2 года назад +7

    What do you do if a person just cannot communicate and it's frustrating you because you have tried everything with them? At that point, I feel like they are hiding something. I stopped using "I'm sorry" about 3 years ago and it's made people realize that I mean business . Y'all need a tv show, tour, a bus, everything and take this global! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • @Penelope642
    @Penelope642 2 года назад +15

    I’m halfway through Becoming Bulletproof and this information really helps to cement the concepts of the book. Also, love the editing and the vignettes!

  • @karlif9013
    @karlif9013 5 месяцев назад +1

    that Ponytail on POINT !! 😻🌟 these interviews with Evy Pompouras are so helpful. Many thanks Lisa Bilyeu & team

  • @julianadolski1742
    @julianadolski1742 2 года назад +13

    I don’t comment too often, but this was HANDS DOWN one of the best episodes I’ve ever listened to. Thank you, Evy and Lisa ❤️!!

    • @lisabilyeu8103
      @lisabilyeu8103 2 года назад +3

      wow thanks so much sweetie!!!

    • @julianadolski1742
      @julianadolski1742 2 года назад +1

      @@lisabilyeu8103 you’re welcome!! much love to you both!!

  • @aedanaussieable
    @aedanaussieable 2 года назад +7

    I’d love to hear the tales on detecting and communication non visually. As a legally blind woman being able to better read, adapt and move conversation would be a huge help.

  • @yeswevalidate1590
    @yeswevalidate1590 2 года назад +16

    I have a friend who seems to trash me/insults me every chance I see her, but because she’s a “Jersey girl” all of us friends make excuses for her Lack of restraint. I don’t let that stuff in anymore but it affects others.

    • @jasmineg9738
      @jasmineg9738 2 года назад +12

      Being from a certain area doesn’t excuse someones behavior. I am from Jersey. Anytime a person is excusing their behavior I look at it as a warning

    • @ksl3240
      @ksl3240 2 года назад +8

      Agreed. I’m from Jersey too. The state you are from does not impact the integrity of your character or your ability to treat all people with dignity.

    • @borednow
      @borednow 2 года назад +10

      that is not a friend

    • @caseteamcouture8633
      @caseteamcouture8633 2 года назад +1

      I get that at the Greyhound aaalll the time! Them:“ I’m from New York!”
      Me:”Ummmm you are not there now”
      I don’t get why people use a location to justify their ridiculousness.

  • @lozb1631
    @lozb1631 2 года назад +5

    As a lady listening from England I love your interview techniques. You ask all the right questions from a place of love and kindness. Keep up all the amazing work you do Lisa x

  • @m.s9146
    @m.s9146 2 года назад +8

    This is very helpful. I’ve always been a good negotiator and now I understand what I’ve been doing right. You never want to take all of someone’s power away. As an attorney, I’ve gotten people to back away from law suits numerous times, but never take away all of their power. You’ve got to find people where they are, recognize it and let them lead with their story while you empathize.

  • @EvosAndMakeup
    @EvosAndMakeup 2 года назад +2

    I ADORE these two women!! Such a great duo!! I can’t get enough of them ♥️ I’m reading Evy’s book right now and it’s AWESOME!! I watch everything I can on these two women. I really look up to them, and find them so freaking inspiring ♥️

  • @yuliya2201
    @yuliya2201 2 года назад +4

    always looking forward and love these ladies' conversations! so empowering

  • @alinelovespink
    @alinelovespink 2 года назад +1

    You two are SUCH a powerful combination 😍 I love love love to listen to you! I'll watch this episode definitely more than once, there is so much to learn and I am excited to do so. Thank you for being here and please go on with UNSTOPPABLE 💗

  • @tamifayette
    @tamifayette 2 года назад +4

    I have been wanting to learn this for so long. Thank you thank you thank you for doing this, Evy and Lisa!

  • @mew-tt7wj
    @mew-tt7wj 2 года назад

    I just started getting into watching Lisa and Evy talk in their videos with such relevant and fascinating topics, I LOVE IT. It's currently a daily motivational boost for me. I feel inspired every time, thank you so much for being outstanding role models.

  • @wizzymel
    @wizzymel 2 года назад +1

    SO thankful I found this channel. These discussions are life changing. Your duo is amazing, please make more !

  • @thereallinnz9407
    @thereallinnz9407 2 года назад +5

    Let me just say that you two are onto something together🤔! Something about both of you together really gets me pumped!!! I'm so ready for this

  • @anjalijha5014
    @anjalijha5014 2 года назад +4

    I love Evy! Ever since i saw the first video on this channel. Thanks women of impact!

  • @SouthFloridaWoman
    @SouthFloridaWoman 2 года назад +2

    You two together is gold!!! 🪙 Thank you ladies for the collaboration. Can't wait for what the future holds.

  • @jpn_119
    @jpn_119 2 года назад +2

    Absolutely love Evy, she's always got amazing advice, I have her book and its great. I have learned soo much from her! Thank you Evy and thank you Lisa for having her on the show so much! Would love to meet both of you someday.

  • @yes7855
    @yes7855 2 года назад +3

    Relational, identity, and instrumental. Such good classifications! Thanks for presenting this interview to us, you two are a joy ⚡️⚡️💫

  • @lianemichaud2631
    @lianemichaud2631 2 года назад +10

    Lisa and Evy - Both of you are rôle models and empowering examples. THANK YOU ❤️

  • @stephaniegentryart
    @stephaniegentryart 2 года назад +2

    Love the concept of this channel and the things you talk about! Most of this really resonated with me. I would love to hear some broken down thoughts on why you would look for a new friend if they are always complaining about things. And what the balance is here then. Because there is room for healthy back and forth. Being there for each other comforting each other. All those things. But like that was and wasn’t covered. I ask. Because I’ve just been through this. On both sides of the coin. I had a friend let go of me. Because they thought I was always talking about the problem and not growing. Granted they didn’t say that. They passive aggressively said that in a very cold hearted way. In the same way. I had to let go of a friend. Whom was always complaining about her problems and never finding a solution. But it took a while. Because I wanted to give her the chance to figure out what she needs or what would help her. It is not my job to do that for her. It is my job as a friend to be a listener. Maybe offer some advice if it’s asked for or ask them what they need. So my question is how much of this is considered okay before it becomes not okay. To the point of looking for a new friend. And would you talk to them about it first ? Would you give them the chance to correct it before moving on? I’m terrified to post this here because it’s something vulnerable that I’ve been processing through. But I wanted to share it because it’s something I’m noticing more and more in my life. And others. And I think it’s valuable to break this down more. Because every situation is different much respect to you ladies! Thank you for what your doing !!!!

  • @AlexanderGolovatiy
    @AlexanderGolovatiy 2 года назад +3

    You know what? I've watched this episode in the 5am, laying in bed and trying to fill the night gap... and I think this made my day. Subscribed

  • @recoverywithlee2591
    @recoverywithlee2591 2 года назад +2

    Key tip everyone, start to notice the patterns in your opening of sentences when in a stressful situation, FOR EXAMPLE, "You always say..." I feel bad, but..." , these ladies are bang on. This was a key approach in my rehabilitation program and certainly helps those I guide. Best wishes and practices to all of us!

  • @jeanettesimpkins7660
    @jeanettesimpkins7660 2 года назад +3

    Love these ladies! Ya'll have helped me in every relationship in my life but mostly enlightened my relationship with myself!😇thank you so!xoxo

  • @AshleyEhSMR
    @AshleyEhSMR 2 года назад +5

    The word ‘SELFISH” makes me think of someone who’s inconsiderate. Someone who does what makes them feel best, not necessarily what’s right.
    Ex. Attacking a partner or friend with harsh words because it makes them feel better, regardless of how it made the other person feel.
    Mind you, I can understand it as positive, depending on the context and situation.
    Not that anyone asked me to play the game 😅

  • @jecellefetzer8716
    @jecellefetzer8716 2 года назад +1

    Dude I've been working on saying no and it feels so good. When I feel like I want to do something, then I'm actually fully mentally present.
    I love using "Thank you for your patience".

  • @guytonphotography
    @guytonphotography 2 года назад

    You two are my heroes. You have inspired, motivated and reminded me of who I am and what I'm worth. God bless you both! Thank you so much for sharing your strength, knowledge and inspiration with the world.

  • @jossmarro5452
    @jossmarro5452 2 года назад

    Amazing video! Always looking forward in seeing them together! Evy please show us your workout routine and what you wear to protect yourself while working out in the elements because you look amazing ! Thank you ladies for this empowering video 💛

  • @lifespanwellnessbeauty-60i64
    @lifespanwellnessbeauty-60i64 2 года назад +1

    Those were the magic words right there, "No, thank you." You're firm, but kind.

  • @clairegarlick
    @clairegarlick 2 года назад +2

    Really loved this episode! Clear and actionable info! Thanks ladies!

  • @kendallhopkins1009
    @kendallhopkins1009 2 года назад +2

    Love this Unstoppable video . I think you can always get better with communication.

  • @bykatherina113
    @bykatherina113 2 года назад +2

    Powerful 😍 thanks for doing this Evy & Lisa!

  • @kimberlyowens3279
    @kimberlyowens3279 2 года назад +2

    Evy ALWAYS brings it!
    I hang on every word

  • @zazuzazz5419
    @zazuzazz5419 2 года назад +5

    I love tuning into the wavelength of this Grecian Powerhouse! ⚡️ 🌊 ⚡️

  • @claudinediamond2555
    @claudinediamond2555 2 года назад +4

    I love you guys.
    I needed this today.
    I work in criminal defense and have looked at countless phone records. I am with Ev on the hesitation to text. Lol

  • @racheltrevillion6238
    @racheltrevillion6238 2 года назад

    This was absolutely awesome! I took so much away from this. Going to watch it again to make sure I got everything 😃Thank you so much Lisa and Eva! ❤️

  • @athulyasurendran7639
    @athulyasurendran7639 2 года назад +1

    I'm so grateful for the work you do... I'm leaning so much from you two ❤️

  • @dianakr.9981
    @dianakr.9981 2 года назад +2

    I´m so much with you Ladies! You make a lot of times my day. Thx...from Germany & when I can´t sort it out in my motherlanguage I switch to english, helps me handle things better.

  • @enielleinnah
    @enielleinnah 2 года назад +1

    I love those skits/short clips inserted in between the video. I was having a rough day and this video showed up. It's not by accident, but it's a coincident. Thank you ladies

  • @jannamartens8066
    @jannamartens8066 2 года назад +1

    It’s so important to feel heard and understood for who you are

  • @elenafetter9690
    @elenafetter9690 2 года назад +17

    Thank you Lisa for providing this platform for great discussions!

  • @wintersongdeclan
    @wintersongdeclan 2 года назад +1

    Evy's voice is so calming and soothing, I don't care what she's talking about. I Lay's feel better after I listen to her speak. ❤

  • @Natalina_World
    @Natalina_World Год назад +1

    You both are incredible! Thanks a lot for this video!!❤️

  • @LadySevereGenerator
    @LadySevereGenerator Год назад

    Lisa & Evy! Thoroughly enjoying the dynamic between you two. So powerful and you both are bad ass!! Thank you so much for these jewels of wisdom!

  • @samidolloff4624
    @samidolloff4624 2 года назад +6

    I am so excited 😆 I love these videos. You guys are amazing 💖

  • @aiysha07
    @aiysha07 2 года назад +1

    Absolutely loved this episode! learnt so much and especially the whole identity vs instrumental - that was eye opening!

  • @daisybrown6141
    @daisybrown6141 2 года назад +1

    Two amazing women! Unstoppable! Yes please! Thank you ladies for your guidance. God bless you both 💖

  • @sole_to_soul
    @sole_to_soul 2 года назад +1

    Thank you for this awesome interview, and for the notes in the description (great for review)!

  • @jasminjam8743
    @jasminjam8743 2 года назад +1

    Evy is such an amazing person. Lisa is amazing as always.

  • @kalimistakidou9103
    @kalimistakidou9103 2 года назад

    I’m watching this video on my phone and immediately acknowledged how you two ladies emit such powerful energy. Such powerful women. Efharisto poli x

  • @kalahnn
    @kalahnn 2 года назад +1

    Hello from a 24 yo woman living in France. Thanks a lot for what you do. You are so inspiring

  • @tweetiepie1542
    @tweetiepie1542 2 года назад

    Absolutely brilliant! Thank you ladies for all of us women and men out their who just need to break it down and build it back up softly and correctly. Xxxxx

  • @alcudiababe1
    @alcudiababe1 Год назад

    It is very hard not to jump in because all you want to do is help this person when someone is sounding off especially when you love and care for them because you feel like you have to do something to make them feel better because it physically hurts you to shut up and listen. You feel it's on you to make them feel better.
    I remember my Mom sounding off in the car picking me up from school decades ago. I got in the car and I asked how she was as we pulled off the school grounds and she sounded off. I was shocked. I didn't expect a honest enough answer and I remember sitting there in my discomfort not knowing how on earth to help her but then at the end of our car journey she thanked me for listening. Weeks later I heard from my Mom "that Katie always asks me how I am." And she was appreciative because I did that but asking how she was after I got out of school was something so simple, and it carried so much meaning to my Mom, that, to her showed I cared

  • @helenemoody3869
    @helenemoody3869 2 года назад +1

    Thanks ladies awesome refresher course! Have a great week everyone

  • @emma1912
    @emma1912 2 года назад +1

    I bloody love you two, thanks for these amazing conversations

  • @louisedeutzebeling6748
    @louisedeutzebeling6748 2 года назад +1

    I love this!!! This should be taught in schools!!! I wish I had been taught this earlier!!

  • @mariehelene-sarda
    @mariehelene-sarda 11 месяцев назад

    I love you 💕, what you share here is really reassuring for me because these last years I identified that with my partner we had communication troubles but he didn't recognize that and said that everything was fine. And little by little it strengthened so I became more and more mute when I was asked for justifications or I received negative comments supposed to be humour...
    My warnings and demands to find a solution, to take time to understand each other didn't succeed then I put all this to an end because it was too suffering and diminishing. I can say that I lost myself and confidence during that time and felt less and less valuable. I felt that something was wrong but had no one to talk with because of the pandemic situation. I would like to have friends like you to talk to from time to time, love you ❤
    Again, thank you deeply, thanks to you I don't feel crazy anymore !! And I see that this can be solved with, of course, the participation of both sides.

  • @Anastasia-ps1lv
    @Anastasia-ps1lv 2 года назад +1

    Greetings from Greece❤ really appreciate both of you and the work you are putting out there thank you🙏

  • @ligiasommers
    @ligiasommers 2 года назад

    Love Evy and her book , so thank you for the helpful episode 🙏🏻💖🌹

  • @AiriAnew
    @AiriAnew 2 года назад +1

    Love the two of you. So many useful information. Thank you 🙏

  • @bonniecook2578
    @bonniecook2578 9 месяцев назад +1

    ❤❤powerful duo! Love you two! Bought Evys book and took it to my kids. Required reading!

  • @jennywho604
    @jennywho604 2 года назад +6

    I love all your conversations together & I’ve learned so much. I rewatch them too as I need reminders. Thank you, ladies, for sharing your wisdom!!!

  • @ginahansen8428
    @ginahansen8428 2 года назад +1

    Thank you for the RAPPORT part of this training. I didn't think about the importance of laying out a starting point with the other person, before starting a conversation. Love the interaction between both of you, thank you!😜👢

  • @loveisallthatexists
    @loveisallthatexists 2 года назад

    Hahah okay the dumbbell skit got me.
    I'm really glad to be in a relationship now where communication works. It's so so important in relationships to be honest and curious, about HOW the other communicates. Great video, thank you both !

  • @musicmoviesandmediaworldsnt126

    when you say No you are also setting a boundary with white gloves Standing up for your self by saying No that you wont tolerate something....can hurt someone's identity..... understood and explained very well... you are so kind and a genius. i am reading your books!!!!!

  • @carolperara6894
    @carolperara6894 2 года назад

    Yay ! Can’t wait! Looove these girls!!

  • @blisswkc3344
    @blisswkc3344 2 года назад

    Thank y'all so much dearest 🌹
    Y'all such an inspiration 🥰
    Appreciate y'all from the bottom of my heart 💖
    Be Blissful Eternally 🙏👼🌈

  • @lynda_lou
    @lynda_lou 2 года назад +1

    Oh my gosh this was so fun!! Love you gals xx

  • @lcd8326
    @lcd8326 Год назад

    ITS ABOUT ACCEPTING WHAT SOMEONE IS SAYING AS THEIR TRUTH!! SO GOOD!! 👏

  • @mirafiori1990
    @mirafiori1990 2 года назад

    LOVE this formula, kudos ladies!

  • @janjacksonauthor
    @janjacksonauthor 2 года назад

    That was absolutely wonderful. Gained so much knowledge from it. Loved the acting role play at the end. That was fun. Thank you!

  • @BelleOfAmherst
    @BelleOfAmherst 2 года назад

    @Women Of Impact A-MAZING! SO disappointed I missed livestream, but VERY grateful to have LIVE to watch, complete with all comments. @Lisa Bilyeu & @Evy Poumpouras are THE BEST together! BRILLIANT CHEMISTRY!THANKS to both for your TIME & WISDOM! Seeking as MUCH as I can get my mind wrapped round. Facing VERY DIFFICULT life challenges at moment. Your livestreams ALWAYS boost my self-confidence. MANY THANKS again, & all the best to you both. Peace. ✌🏼😇#GRATITUDE 🙏🏼⚖️🙌🏼💖👏🏼
    p.s. iPhone CLEARLY needs a “camo”HEART! 💚🤎🖤🤍💛

  • @kristalhumphreys4621
    @kristalhumphreys4621 Год назад

    Wonderful info., like ALWAYS…❤I just love the both of you!

  • @geetalife3698
    @geetalife3698 Год назад

    God bless you both since I am watching you guys videos. I have different strength because I was really sad.People always bullied me and treated me bad.Thanks a lot

  • @annalisamiller6653
    @annalisamiller6653 9 месяцев назад

    Best podcast ever!!! It has helped me so much

  • @jessicazockoll6540
    @jessicazockoll6540 Год назад

    This helps me build my self up!! Thank you!

  • @verynice126
    @verynice126 2 года назад +1

    I love you two together. Girl power!

  • @racheldaling1
    @racheldaling1 2 года назад

    A++ video!!
    I have an autistic child in which language is begining to concern me, as my child is in early grade school. I absolutely LOVE that you have taken the time to slow this video by describing on how conversations can go. Thank you for providing this, I love that your conversations are professional, and I feel absolutely safe in sharing this with my child. Thank you for keeping it PG-13, there are families out there unable to find very, very, very good information like this that you provide. Do you know of any children programs, that you wouldn't mind sharing that can possibly help with my search for something like this example, I am explaining? Thank you again! My child understands danger, but the specific words that pinpoint a criminal charge, for example would be traumatizing, however age appropriate language defence is what I think I am searching for.

  • @angelm6497
    @angelm6497 Месяц назад

    Evy Poumpouras; I have total respect for this woman and her skill and experience; especially being X military. But I also believe that communication is the basis of a successful relationship.
    But I can't stand ambiguity in language, but then I am a Sigma INFJ personality type. I don't like to define my personality like this; but this is the easiest way to convey my intent at this moment. I appreciate that other personality types need more fluffiness. A constant criticism of me that I am not fluffy enough in my presentation. However, I am highly empathic with a very high level of compassion.

  • @sagewise1823
    @sagewise1823 2 года назад +1

    She's my all time fav podcast guest ever!

  • @haidyyousif2125
    @haidyyousif2125 Год назад +1

    Big THANK YOU❤ ,I Learn much