Back To Basics - Part 1/7 - Unresolved Unmet Needs
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- Опубликовано: 27 июл 2024
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What is Complex Trauma? How does it affect someone? What is needed to heal from it? Tim will look at a very subtle way in which a child experiences Complex Trauma - when they have unmet needs that they can't resolve.
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It's long overdue for pastors to know how to understand people who've experienced complex trauma. Instead of only teaching and preaching that people who were abused are to trust God and forget and forgive the past pain. And reach for the prize for the high calling in Yeshua The Messiah
Amen brother.
So many Pastors have cptsd and do not know they do.
They often treat others the way they were treated..and their trauma response, whatever that was , gets played out on people masking as YHVH.
I pray that many more in the body of Yeshua, embrace the healing process He has provided: in intimate relationship with Him, His Holy Rauch guiding and instructing us individually step by step and giving us Courage for each step.
Knowing about cptsd, I have new insight as to my experience in church for that last 35 years, and all the folks around me that appeared to have unresolved mental health issues all around me, and tried to cover it up with "spiritualizing. "
Shalom🕊
Preach!!! 🫶🏽🙌🏽
And that we're already set free, indeed.
Not many pastors are as qualified or experienced as Ps Tim to talk about trauma.
Thank you, listening to many of youre teaching had helpt me mutch to understand myself. Great work...❤
Adapt by being less human, yes you hit the nail on the head!
You are the most important teacher I've ever had. Thank you so much for being here. Words will never express my gratitude. You are giving me the guidance I never had. X
Me too Sister. Your words spoke to my soul. I was driving down the road and was actually going to make a comment but you said it in such a way that I don't think I could ever do justice to. I hope you are well and that you are healing and that everything is okay. That was the fundamental question I had to ask myself an answer. So much love to you. You are worth it :-)❤
i'll second that
Me to my friend just know your not alone. ❤
I don't know anyone one who gets this EXCEPT TIM FLETCHER!! Thank You!
I'm stunned. I have an MS in Industrial / Organizational Psychology, written numerous papers referencing Learned Helplessness (Seligman) and yet, I could not see, until this moment, that I have learned helplessness as a result of my trauma.
Thank you so much for separating the religious section from the "therapy"! Having had a lot of religious trauma at the hands of religious schools and institutions, I would not have been able to watch your wonderful presentations with religious doctrine included. Maybe someday I'll deal with it, but for now I'm just working on the family systems stuff. Thanks again for being aware :)
This is such a great resource. Resources about complex trauma are hard to come by in comparison to other mental health issues, especially in video form and explained so well. I'm surprised that there are so many videos on this channel with such a wealth of knowledge. Thank you for making these videos.
Other great resources for me have been Anna Runkle (Crappy Childhood Fairy), Melanie Tonia Evans, Dr Ramani, Lisa A. Romano.
Causes of complex trauma can be really subtle...exactly! And compound over time
The more I hear these beautiful lectures the more I realize how messed up my childhood was. I’ve been on a very long journey. I came here after realizing I have suffered with abuse from my pathologically narcissistic mother. Of course this led to three pathologically, narcissistic partners. Once you realize that this treatment of you is not acceptable, you won’t except anything other than humanity. Treat me like I am a human. I am a human. But it is so empty. I’m all alone and not abused. Is that considered a success?
Me too Getting older and watching boring days go by all alone. I never lived my life and now our world is so scarey to live in.
You are saving my life. Thank you.
Mine too ❤
I’m 53 and still learning/dealing with complex trauma starting 45 yrs ago. It can be debilitating. Thank you!
In 2010 I was diagnosed schizoeffective now as time has gone on they realized it’s DID I am working on it i recently found you and realized it’s complex trauma I’ve lived in a freeze state for 48 years thank you for you wisdom
I think the key is not talking, reassuring, and showing a person the path to freedom. It takes someone dragging them out until they feel empowered to function on their own. There is a very distinct difference between pushing and pulling. Anyone can push another. But pulling or drawing someone out to become acquainted with empowerment is successful only if there is someone doing it that they deeply trust....someone to mentor them. Those are few and far between.
You can’t help someone unless they want to be healed. Even Jesus asked them if they want to be healed before he did.
Parents never available. Chaotic home is like flash floods. You never know when it's going to happen or for how long.
Yes. Me too.
Very well said! I felt validated when you said that complex trauma can’t be healed magically by music and meditation and other such stuff. It gives thoughts to apply but which mindset works for you is completely individualistic. We all get wounded in our ways. It’s completely subjective experience and the response to it is also individualistic.
Covid was certainly a huge disruption/derailment in my life … lost my new house (which is minor, but was still upsetting), but also lost my husband to COVID. … my life was forever changed.
Trying to rebuild, heal and stay mentally healthy and positive … especially for my daughter was only 8 at the time … she lost her daddy. Talk about trauma.
But, God is faithful … He’s with us through the pain.
Make us less human, that is exactly right. It makes you feel like an alien. Alienated
The only person in this world, who understand me. This means tremendously a lot! thank God for him 🙏
Thank you so much for all your hard work Tim Fletcher 💥🙏🌟🙏💥
At 30 minutes in he puts to words what I had no words for my entire life but knew it to be the elephant in my room. My elephant. Thank you. You have given me hope.
6:00 Born into the world with healthy instincts. CT means moving from being healthy to adapting to different behavior to survive.
20:30 Seligman shocked dog experiments
30:20 putting words to pain
Best series for healing. So grateful.❤
in some strange way, I am grateful for my parents for being so goddamn unreasonable that even when I tried the masking strategy as a child, it STILL wasn't good enough for them. 🤣 so I was like, FUCK IT, I will just be myself 101% because I'll just be treated the same way
Yes I'm going through the same experience as you
I found this very insightful and it made me think deeply about myself and my experience and I found the Christian story very uplifting. Thank you so much 🙂
I totally get it! Tim’s a mouthpiece for the Source Parent!
You have helped me much. I dont have $ for a therapist. So an extra thank you from my whole heart ❤️
Borderline personality C-PTSD, pseudobulbar affect, and then add CKF makes me have a hard time working through life.
Alaska is difficult to find a good doctor.
You have helped me a lot. And I share with my therapist and psychiatrist so we can work towards healing.
I am 68 years old and somehow have stayed alive after having divorced 6 husbands and both of my children live far away from me and have little to nothing to do with me.
Your discussions have helped sooo much with living with someone I went to high school with who has the same problems as I and this has helped more than anything else to help me see and understand myself, him, my family and the people I come into contact with.
I am not perfect but I see much better.
THANK YOU!!!
peace be with you Sue
This is seriously eye opening for my thinking, as a person, as a teacher, as a parent and grandparent!
Thank you so very much. You describe the exact effects I’ve experienced throughout my life. It helps to understand how deep the trauma/pain still lives in my subconscious mind. I look forward to listening to the other videos in this series. You are a wonderful teacher and I appreciate you.❤
Been watching/listening for a while. Kudos on the upgrade in production quality, you deserve it. Concept of complex trauma has opened my eyes. Thank you ❤️
Brilliant ❤❤ Thank you very much ❤❤
There is so much involved in this complex trauma stuff it takes time to just learn some of it. This guy knows a lot. 🙏
Very relatable and validating. Thank you!
Again, so grateful to you for sharing your thoughts, experiences and knowledge that has been life changing for me! I share these vids that you so generously do, for those who are seeking Truth. Thank you!!! 🙏❤❤❤
‼Tim, thanks for your message. I am currently involved in a Celebrate Recovery in Washington state. Please keep up the great work ‼
It seems many people, if they meet a kind, good spouse, could get those needs met in adulthood.., not from a narcissistic spouse which is who most of us end up with sadly.😢. Just someone who loves them and accepts them and grows with them....
Or, the sad truth is that the narcissistic spouse is also from complex trauma and you just want to help them so they stop hating themselves and hurting others but you literally can't.
I love my ex, but he doesn't want to be loved. He hates himself so he projects his pain onto everyone else so he doesn't feel it.
I had to love him and let him free to work on himself and love himself because I can't fix him.
The rest is up to him if he wants to stay in this cycle or find his way back
This guy opened my eyes to a lot of things I suppressed in my youth..
I recommend looking and thinking about this content..
I really appreciate the way you speak - slowly and calmly. Thank you for this invaluable, enlightening and good lecture. You are the light that dispels the darkness.
One is All, All is One.
That was an incredibly cruel experiment on dogs and I hate animal experimentation it's initiating pain on the innocent and helpless its truly awful
Great message Tim. It really helped to explain some of my feelings and behaviors.
I start listening to tim i am enjoining and it feels he is talking about myself
Now I understand what to me as a young boy growing up experiencing complex trauma. Thanks Tim for your videos!
Finally tuned in. Glad I did, eye opening for me.
Thank you Finding Freedom Ministries!
EMDR helped me a lot in talk therapy.
Tim this is so helpful and you are saving lives!!!! Thank you
Thank you so very much Pastor.
Bless you, Tim.
Thank you 👍🏼.
You are a Blessing ✨
Thank you perfect timing with what I’m going through at the moment
You’re the man!
You’re super awesome!
So much knowledge presented in a simple , consise and understandable way with great examples clearly put.
Much needed.
This knowledge is out there and yet I ve never heard it before summarised like this. Chances are I ve avoided it…not ?
Thank you
Thank you so much Tim!!! Your videos help me so much!!!
I’ve learned to keep so much to myself, cause what’s the point. This explains so much and why I have learned to withdraw, it was to survive 😞
As I listen to Tim discuss unmet needs and the results of that, i wonder about the effect on children of parents with cptsd and unmet needs. No doubt the child would go on to suffer from cptsd, but what are the underlying mechanics of that relationship.
@GrossstadtAlien what you said describes my family. My father was a narcissist - he is fully into end stage alzheimers now. Without having heard him say this directly, i guess he experienced neglect in his upbringing. Father died at age 10, mother struggled to make ends meet. I don't think any of his siblings ended up as he did, but who can know for sure. I have worked all my life shuffling through the aftermath. All my siblings have to some extent i guess, both me and me sister (oldest 2) in particular. I recently, and finally, got a diagnosis of cptsd at the age of 53, at which time I found Tim Fletcher. His videos are gold. The sins of the father....
Fabulous stuff!
Thank you, Tim ❤️
He’s describing my high school years, I’m so messed up now at 66 years old it’s too late to change
Don’t give up on yourself! You can change even if it’s little baby steps toward healing your past. I am in the same position but I trust that it’s time to heal from my past.
Neglect was my childhood and it messed me up. I know I was not wanted because I came along 1 yr after my sister. My father was so verbally abusive my whole life. My mother has a clean house and food but never was there emotionally for any of us girls. 😢😢
That's why I did Theophostic counseling. It means God's Light. You invite the Holy Spirit to help you understand what happened or to get rid of the demonic or whatever needs to be done.
This stuff is fantastic.
This is awesome teaching.
The dog example is heartbreaking but it’s so true
Thank you for talking about this Pain
Thank you Tim.
brilliant, thank you
God bless you all
Thank you!!!!!!!!
26:12 must use technique to be able to dig into source of issues.
Thank you Tim So validating. Thank you for the words !
When I listen closy to people talking to imaginary people on the sidewalks in the city, I typically hear them trying to resolve old issues and not being heard.
This is awesome info. You said that I don't bring people to trauma because I like to, but they need to go there.This is called retraumatization if the person did not ask to go there. So we on the website have asked to go there. But we have so called HR people in the business world activating trauma brains world wide_ were in for a bumpy ride. It's called _ look I have a dancing bear.
This applies to adults too... right?
If you've got unmet needs in a relationship that your partner refuses when you can't just walk away?
... l really appreciate the way u so effectively cover such distressing mental & emo states caused by abuse & neglect ... & then u very politely transition to an applicable on-point Christian teaching, what a very helpful & pleasant surprise !!! ... thank u & may God bless u ... (-_'|
BRILLIANT🙌😘
A long with lots of other recovery work I’ve been doing for over 2 years...I’m so grateful for the wonderful resources through finding freedom-Tim Fletcher.Praying for this ministry. It’s assisting me to be involved in recovery ministry as well. Such a great need! Praise God for His faithful servants that are coming out of this ministry and ministries like it. Thank you again for all you do finding freedom /Tim Fletcher
I strongly believe that,,,
AA encourages people to stay in their negative life. How else do you think they keep the money coming in at the 7 the tradition??
This Is exactly what I'm suffering 49 years of abuse from efevts of my mother abusing me I lost everything in my life my kids were brainwashed against me by my abuser years later I'm n so much shock realising my own mother was the one who set the trap. For me to be further abused all my needs for healthy friendships were destroyed
over her abusing me from age of 5 I'm so utterly broken I'm seeing a therapist who doesn't understand that when u Loose your life and everything u valued in it that might bring u some joy
u cannot forget the past and thef effects cause what was taken on u u are still suffering in your mind today in. The present moment and in reality your still suffering the same shit she caused in. Your life by what is lost why can't some therapists understand this
I Feel no understanding or empathy anywhere when this is said to me and to tell someone u cant change what's been donr to u causes u. To seriously want to end your life it gives u no hope
Forgiveness isn’t a simple one size fits all concept.
so true
I swear the Devil "invented" Social Distancing. Think of all the lost Hugs. Herd immunity...
My family one hundred percent
They used to say you have to face your worst nightmares to get over them , turns out that isn't true
I spend a lot of time on RUclips over the last decade and it’s my primary source for content. As a medium, I have only come across a couple news organizations that have paid subscription models and I was pretty disappointed that this series was behind a paywall.
Game companies have moved to “free to play” models which a lot of people criticize, but that work well for the user who does want to pay and the one who doesn’t. Offering options that are better for a subscription, but the best free models only offer cosmetics. Drawing this analogy to the content here and comparing to others on RUclips, most use a patreon and make quite good money from that model, and that reminds me of free to play models for videogames.
I know you all may do as you please as far as how you distribute content, but my feedback is that this was seriously disappointing finding out the series is teased in this way. I don’t mean any disrespect by this, but I hope you’ll consider the feedback in terms of distribution of certain series. Thanks much. I can tell you’re a kind person and I know you are doing your best to make money and help people at the same time.
Son has complex ptsd from many many surgeries,not able to get a job, not able to finish college degrees due to classmate horrors. I’m very frustrated about how to help him.
He also masks his self and dissociates. Hugh needs not met and wishes God would take him.
Wow... This completely sounds like me... Damn.
❤
25:58
I wish someone would pull me out of my cage.
I'm still Social.Distancing for other reasons.
i need to smoke or i need to eat if i'm not loved
Healthy parents to talk about emotions n pain yea right never as a kid ...and the boomers wonder why Their adults kids dont want to contact them or spend time with them why the Hell do i want to waste the rest of my free life with someone who makes ya feel like the lowest dirt
neonatal/infantile abuse/neglect
5:55
12:15
14:14
15:13
17:27
19:24
Hello, I have tried reaching you through your finding freedom email address and the messages never go through, and sent in a contact message on the website but no reply, is there a good email address to contact you?
tim@findingfreedom.ca
Even if you could cure me magically via the youtube...
Would not watch anymore due ti pop up ads.
If you work with traumatized people then you should know such pop up ads are very disturbing and distracting....
It is your content you have entire control over when the ads will appear either before or after or during your video....
Not interested in hitting skip nor paying for ad free.
❤️🩹
sad