Relationships and Complex Trauma - Part 6/11 - What is Love?
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- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024
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These videos are so healing. I really appreciate these lectures. We are so lucky to have such precious information available these days
I can't stop watching these lectures. I am not an addict but the child of one with lot's of trauma.I was never around the bible and I was never interested in it. He makes it so interesting and real that now I want to try it out.
I feel the same, but I’m more fascinated by astrology now since I figured out the planets are in control of all these crazy energies and drama we’ve all been experiencing.
I am not an addict either but has been raised by a narcissist. I believe and love the Bible and what he is saying has helped give me a solid foundation to recover from trauma. God is love and he loves us more than we understand.
@@LisaValentine1😮
Same here, not an addict and never abused. But felt like I was put on auto pilot at about age 12. I still relate to a lot of this
Same
My parents went above and beyond to provide and meet our physical needs. But would then use it to beat us up with comments like "look at all we've given you, look at what we do for you"...strings attached to their idea of love. Thank you for all of your videos!!
Yes!!!
Man I just realized I do that to. Just trying to get them to appreciate things
Yep
Love is more than an emotion, it is a verb, it is a right action with a right motive.
This teaching made me cry and experience the joy of my salvation all over again. I was that prodigal…and now I am home…now, I’m working on getting healthy. Thank u!❤
I’m glad you said, the healthier you get, the more love you can give. Right now, it’s hard cause I don’t want to love even though I know it’s right. Praying for the day when I want to love!
❤❤
May you get healed soon and be able to love again 🙏🙏
@@ektabahrani5775 today I am healing and able to love in a way I’ve never been able to before - it’s one day at a time and it’s for a lifetime! Thank you for the kind words. ❤️🩹
I love the way you bring God and the Bible into your lectures.Understand more now and can apply it in daily life.Thank you ❤
That was incredible. Never heard God’s love described like that. Tim you are a channel for his goodness. Thank you so much. I’m in tears.
Tim, thank you for these very healing videos. As someone (and I think many people are in the situation) who missed out on having children because of the results of complex trauma it would be helpful to have some acknowledgement of this in the video. It feels like there is an assumption that everyone had the experience of having children. I believe that many of us wanted this more than anything but lost it and this can intensify pain for us.
LOVE IS CHARACTER!!! Thank you for speaking my mind.
Thirty two minutes mark stressed the importance of God and the recognition of God. Very important part of the video (that says a lot bc this entire video is loaded w important lessons and facts).
You are changing my life Tim! I'm so grateful for you. ❤
I had no idea how messed up I were until the day I discovered your videos. God bless your heart!
I’m able to watch listen learn without feeling triggered! Thank you so much 🙏🏼
What a blessing theses videos have been to me thank you for sharing!
AMEN!
I've been no contact with my parents for the past half a year while I try to untangle from the damage of childhood neglect. How on earth do you reconcile with people who (unintentionally) hurt you? It's hard to want to return when home never felt safe.
It is very hard. I've just reunited with my abusive father after 30 years. It was very frightening to meet him even though he's now very old. I had been working on my traumas in the mean time, and of course I went with a trusted friend. My father also had a friend present so I guessed he needed support too. The meeting was relatively ordinary, after all the fear and dread of it happening. We didn't talk about anything uncomfortable, but I maintained my awareness of the reality of what had happened throughout, because it was important to me not to `pretend`; that was very key for me.
Afterwards I had a backlash, that I'd `let him off the hook`. I sat with this for a few days then I had a realization which for me was very important and consisted of this; only he can do the work. I cannot do it for him, even if I talked about the abuse with him, confronting him. Its only him who can do the work. I Realized also that I had done the work on myself and that I was in that regard, free. I was healed. I found all the energy that was invested in keeping him away was now available and my health has definitely improved. We maintain a relationship which for me is honest. For him; I cannot know. What I do know is the abuse has stopped. It's not continuing, even on a subtle level, which was my fear.
I wonder if this may be difficult for some to understand. I'm just sharing my own experience and not making suggestions for others.
I should also say that for many years I had a good therapist and we worked consistently on trauma, shame, intimacy, boundaries and abuse.
@@sukhmanicambridge Thank you for sharing your experience. My parents are in their 70's, so I doubt I have 30 years to find my way back home. I think because of that, I am feeling pressured. My father sent a message saying I'd "better get over my hate and anger before the door I slammed shut never opens again." (This coming from one of the angriest people I have ever known.) The thing is, I didn't slam a door shut. I walked away quietly and left the door open a crack in case I can find my way back. I don't feel any hate or anger. I feel hurt and sad and disappointed, but mostly I feel relief and peace. The truth hurts, but it set me free! Either he really doesn't know me at all, or he is projecting his own hard feelings onto me. Maybe both. His message to me felt like HE was slamming the door shut. I've always been punished for standing up for myself, for being me. It's not a game I want to play anymore. Maybe saying "I quit" is just how it ends.
It is not easy, but extremely rewarding of letting go of all that baggage.
They are spiritually ill people who did not know any better.
There is a great movie “The shack” that helped me tremendously to understand and let go of resentment.
Going through the same thing 😔
I’m in the same place. I removed myself, worked on my issues by journaling out painful memories and then received deliverance and counseling.
I just called my mom after a two year estrangement. I needed to get healthier before I began engaging.
Praying for God to heal you in all those tender places.❤
20:40 ... "the healthier they and then ... this is what blooms. I like it.
This guys is amazing. Love this series. Life changing.
These lessons have truly been a blessing to me. Thank you
This is one of the most beautiful ones you’ve done! Thank you! 🙏 ❤
Excellent teaching 👏 👍
This is very helpful but I think I am so traumatized I am still unclear what true love is
Emotion of love and love are two different things
Brilliant. Thank you very much!
Thank you again for explaining love.I appreciate your teaching and for helping me navigate cptsd.
Even when I thought I had a good grasp and understanding of this entire cycle by way of past four years, looking inward to stop the cycle of toxic relationships in my life starting with my parents. I have already shared this series of your videos on to friends of mine who could relate. It has further deepend, my understanding, and my own self growth as a continue on this journey of healing, now that I unders stand. Thank you so much and Bravo for exploring all aspects in such an easy, and understanding way which led me along the way to many sudden epiphanies ❤😊😊
God bless you Tim!
is Z VE marrying somebody to asks you? Is Love communicating in a non violent manner? I could never tell anyone my needs because I was taught to NOT HAVE NEEDS. How do I change that now-- Im to old.
Thank you so much 🙏❤️
37:27 Kinsmen redeemers. Yes. Amen. Loyalty and stop loss.
11:30 Childs emotional needs
50:00 Lessons in love, and why Christians quote, "God is love". The brains systems combined with evolutionary wisdom.
I think people need to stop throwing the word abandoned around without looking at individual circumstances where in that word is applied. Sometimes leaving is your only choice, short of terrible abuse. However, the circumstances might be better without the atmosphere of violence and fear that comes in traumatic relations. There is no end to the shame that such a label implies. It can often be used to further abuse survivors.
So good.
I am addicted to his lectures, The way he explains is like magic and instant healing ❤️🩹
You forgot the most common scenario, where a guy says he’ll change but then he doesn’t. How long are you supposed to wait? How many chances are you supposed to give?
i try to join the channel to have acces to the members only videos and it doesnt porceed .. any solution ?
Is there a part 7?
Me too tones of trauma, but not an addict..
Thats explain how I think about love sadly 😔
43:55 These concepts of "thirst traps" or " soul famine" are real. People have research videos on this subject. It's also along the lines of an NPD dark triad flying monkey tool. Or it's self delusional destruction.
Is it really wise to have unconditional love for any adult?
Imagine if our world only had conditional love... only that... then imagine just one person unconditionally loving you
❤ Thanks
What is Friendship....& developing Love?
It is kinda off topic, but I think it is dangerous to say, that patriarchy is misunderstood. It is what is was meant to be: a domination of patriarchs, aka. men. But it doesnt mean, I cant see your point. In my opinion its just misleading to defend patriarchy. You yourself say in that third story, that the general culture was about shaming the lost son. It IS the way of patriarchy. You dont disrespect authority. The way of God is what youa re talking about. And that can function within all kinds of societal organisations. Men dont have to be in authority in order to practise love. As the sotry of the woman and her coin shows. Anything that belongs to you - or anybody who is close to you - is worth your effort, if you love, no matter where they stand on this hellish ladder of patriarchal society.
🦄 Dolt by John Rickel 🦄 (child survivor story)
All love from a woman to a man is conditional. Condition we provide something.
The tropes about Arabs are disappointing. On another note, what is the observable difference today between the prodigal son and the golden child?
What is COMPASSIONATE LOVE?
Yes. Yes that’s Love. Thank you.
Beginning ro see alot of us grew up with alot of unmet emotional needs bc lur parents did as well. With African Americans its ten times bc of the racism and discrimination faces and the fallout from it all. Black people have to be some of rhe strongest people in this world. Normal challenfes bring people down not includding added lauers to deny, oppress, make u feel inferior etc. Same can b for those with disabilities that they didnt chose for themselves
Sounds to me you should work on taking off the victim mindset
There seems to be a narcissism problem with American blacks… that causes others to reject. It’s not really racism… it’s issues with the culture.
I think there’s a narcissism issue in that culture.. that is causing people to reject … not really anything to do with skin
It's true.. the societies wr grow up can traumatize us also
..I feel you.. it means we have more resilience than others can see.. resilience
It's a tough one
Where is part 7 & 8 😢
Is there not a part 5?
I can't find 7 & 8 😢
💖💖💖
baby don't hurt me.
don't hurt me
no more
Wow, what a foreign concept to me.
Baby don't hurt meee
Great information. It's nice the way he tries to make the Patriarchy sound, but I disagree. Very few men are capable of love let alone unconditional love. Women love in that way naturally. The bible was written by men for men.
The Bible is the inspired word of God (not men) written for ALL people for all time, for all places.
patriarchy is based on the idea that men should be in charge. that's not a valid concept. consider that benevolent dictatorship is still dictatorship
hmmm. Why is it not a valid concept? patriarchy does not mean dictatorship. some sinners may have devolved it into that, but God calls us to reason and free choice.
Anyone being a jerk and abusing power is bad whether female or male. That social justice programming is bad for health.
That is why I love the Bible, it tells you what the real patriarchy is
Your content is excellent but the constant yelling is unbearable.