How to Hold Boundaries Kindly, Without Apology
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- Опубликовано: 29 авг 2024
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If you were raised by an emotionally unstable parent, you had no choice but to accept their chaotic life choices, lack of boundaries and ever-changing rules. This was a survival strategy for you, but now it's time to clarify for yourself YOUR needs, preferences and values -- and develop boundaries so loved ones can no longer take those away from you. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is ready to set boundaries with her impulsive, demanding mother, but needs help preparing for the explosive emotions likely to follow.
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Wow, that was so needed! "When sick people don’t get their way, they try to hurt you!"
Sane people are the same
I relate
Hi Anna, it's the writer, "Vallerie", here on my anonymous account. I want to thank you for responding to my letter. It was exactly what I needed to hear and helped me gain a new perspective on the situation. I can tell that you understand what it's like to deal with conflicting feelings in tough situations like this, and you give such great advice. Reading through all of the wonderful comments also made me feel less alone and reminded me how far I've come in my healing journey. It's easy to forget how much we've grown when confronted with triggers that bring up old emotions, but you're right, I am better at dealing with it as a fact of life instead of becoming super resentful and spiraling. So thank you for those kind words because I really needed that!
Update: I ended up having a conversation about it with my mom over the phone, because she was desperately trying to get an answer out of me after I asked for space/time to decide (she was calling me everyday sometimes multiple times a day). I knew I needed to clear the air, be somewhat honest, and make a decision because the anxiety was weighing on me. I let her know that I am happy for her and want her to do what's best for her, but the wedding ceremony is causing me anxiety. I told her that I was worried she'd expect more out of me than I can give, and I am just trying to look out for my mental health and what I can handle. Without going into too much detail, I also let her know that I have my walls up a bit when it comes to letting people in my life because of past situations. She was surprisingly more receptive than I expected which made me happy, however I also think she is on her best behavior which is sort of a pattern before every marriage. Regardless, she admitted that she could see my perspective, and we ended up talking about ways in which I could be there and feel comfortable at the same time. I'm going to the wedding and will walk down the isle alongside my sister who I am very close with, and I'm only flying in for the length of the wedding. So overall I stood up for myself, voiced my boundaries kindly, and then negotiated the best course of action. I feel like this will be a great balance - I can now go the the wedding with a good attitude, because I'm not as stressed knowing that I set clear boundaries. I do want to be able to have a relationship with my mom with the time we have left while maintaining these heathy boundaries. I know things may not go smoothly, but I feel much better about the whole situation. You were right, I need to take a little bit of the pressure off moving forward, and I feel like I can apply your advice to many situations that will help me in the long run! Thank you again!
Yayyyyyyy!!!! Thanks for all your healing!
Brilliant
How did it go??
I hope to get to this place with my estranged daughter some day. We’re currently disassociated, she’s gone ‘No Contact’ with me. My adult grandson, her eldest child, has made it clear he’s not an intermediary, he won't even deliver birthday/holiday gifts because it puts him in the middle and triggers his mom. I just hope & pray we can communicate & connect again some day when we’re both ready.
I was raised in a highly destructive dysfunctional family system. I was the Los Child/Scapegoat. Lost Child when “the family” wanted/needed something I had, including my grandson born out of wedlock. When their schemes didn’t work and I didn’t perform as expected I was flipped to Scapegoat, discarded, blamed, shamed, excluded. Going from victim in need of their assistance to ungrateful, perpetrator in an instant. I didn’t get into Family Systems Therapy until I was in my late 60’s, years after my daughter went no contact. The more I learned about dysfunctional families and worked with my therapist on childhood memories the more I became aware of the ways I passed it on to my kids. I vowed to never be like my mother, covert, manipulative, cold, cruel, bitter & had to target someone with her constant nagging & criticism. Instead I became like my dad, an Enabler.
Your description of your mom sound similar to what my daughter might say. I wasn’t an addict (except cigarettes) & very health conscious, but I had poor choice in men. I was/am naive & gullible (ADHD) getting taken advantage of by unscrupulous people. None of them hurt my kids, but what hurt most was me putting more effort into a complete stranger rather than my kids. My dysfunction was of neglect, not having been ‘mothered’ as a child I was practically triggered by my child’s needs, at a loss not knowing what to say, do or how to address their need. I was fine when they were infants, it wasn’t until they got to around school age and had more complex, demanding needs that I started noticing having issues.
I was also under constant scrutiny & badmouthing by my ex, the non-custodial parent. Our divorce/custody battles were very much a product of him religiously ‘alienating’ me as a Suppressive Person. He told our kids outright lies mixed in with some truth for plausible deniability. Ironically my daughter told me one of his lies (that I wanted to abort her) and in spite of my assurances otherwise (I had her name picked out before I even knew I was pregnant) yet she chooses to believe his lies. She believes the worst about me and my motives. Honestly I’m at the point of knowing in her eyes I am/was a monster. I hurt her by what I did and did not say & do. To believe I am a good enough person to have a place in her life would be to acknowledge that a ‘good enough’ mother chose to ignore, neglect, & reject her. I’m okay with being labeled a monster, but I do hope she sees through her dad’s lies some day for her own sake.
I know the focus is CPTSD but I feel like the advice in this channel is helpful for everyone, whether dealing with trauma or not.
I agree. Anna, I honestly think you have THE best channel on RUclips. You are a very articulate speaker, you identify with most people here, you use velvet gloves to bring and an iron hammer, in that you call a spade a spade but in a gentle way with clear actionable steps. I totally agree that one doesnt need CPTSD to benefit from your channel ❤️
That is because emotional regulation is a life skill we can always build upon.
I had a huge milestone with this lately. My friend lashed out at me one day because she’s in a very emotionally vulnerable place - her mom is an addict on skid row and even though her brothers cut off contact with mom (this has been going on 10 years) she can’t let go.
She cancelled plans on me, I was disappointed, and that caused her to go bonkers yelling at me about how I’m a bad friend and I don’t have empathy and kept guilting me with her mom.
I held my ground that I didn’t do anything wrong by being disappointed about her consistent flakiness, and that her yelling at me and being mean was uncalled for. She tried to throw at me that I was selfish for caring about my feelings when she’s going through so much more. I stood my ground. A month later, she apologized to me and wanted to mend things. I didn’t trust myself and I wanted to appease her but I stood up for myself and ultimately, she respected that.
It’s sad that some people will never grow up. I can always see the full potential of people and hope for a real-ationship. But I have zero control over how other people think and feel. Time to let go of acquaintances who don’t respect me and boundaries or actually listen.
Stay in truth. However hard, is better than a lie.
Boundaries are for my benefit and not meant to change others. I had to cut off all ties. I have tried for a few years to set boundaries and work with my family of origin to have a healthy relationship with no progress. For my health, I choose to walk away. It was the right choice for me. I'm at peace and happier.
Thank you for your videos. They are very helpful.
Valerie! I heard so much of my own story and my own issues with my mother in your letter, and my heart goes out to you! I went fully no-contact over a year ago. It has been hard and she has definitely smeared my name to other family members. I still wouldn't change a thing. It's like Anna said, healing is getting to decide that you feel better without the drama in your life. Even if she's your mother, you are entitled to protect your peace! I wish you the best!
Thanks for sharing these kind words. -Calista@TeamFairy
If anyone is wondering if the daily practice is worth a try, I’m here to say DO IT! The peace of mind you may find is worth the effort. ❤
Yay, so happy to hear that! -Calista@TeamFairy
My favorite advice was minute 13 to the end because
-a person with poor boundaries needs to reconnect to their own heart in order to stop trying to “make other people ________”.
The daily journaling is going to help connect to your own heart.
-The listening to your inner voice, if it says “I don’t want to go to this wedding or not” is great! No matter anyone’s reaction you will learn and grow from it as you stay curious. And maybe mom will and the colluders and the codependents, etc. it’s win/win when you listen to your own inner knowing about how to spend your time.
Hearing to your own inner hopes, dreams, and struggles is the beginning of not being a manipulator yourself! Your compassion for her and others will be more genuine instead of to get them to feel a certain way or to boost their self-esteem or to boost your ranking…
I really admire how she's handling this too.
Minimalism, and not indulging in the story.
Solutions based approach,
with a focus on what her needs are,
and how to cultivate healthy boundaries within the relationship, which will facilitate her needs being met.
I was impressed the whole time you were reading this letter. Saying to myself "I wish I was this mature, this sorted out, this tidy in my own work".
Im curious what kinds of work this woman has participated in for herself, prior to this channel. She clearly has learned and grown a lot.
🙏🏽 very much respect
Thanks for sharing these kind words! -Calista@TeamFairy
Hello! the writer, "Vallerie", here on my anonymous account. Thank you so much for this comment. It brought me to tears. I tend to be really hard on myself about it all so it's easy to forget how far I've come in my healing journey, but this comment made me feel so good! I've been in therapy consistently for the past 2 years which has helped me personally. I tried two different therapist just to get an idea of what kind of therapy I needed. It's been really beneficial to voice my childhood trauma to an unbiased person and discover how it effects decisions in my adult life. I plan to start participating in Anna's daily writing practices too. I also listen to a lot of therapy podcast, and follow therapy accounts on my social media with great resources for CPTSD. Being apart of a CPTSD online community has opened my eyes and made me feel less alone. Just learning about the psychology of it all has helped make sense of my feelings/reactions and see them for what they are. I honestly still struggle with self regulation when I get triggered and some months are better than others, but it's constant work that slowly gets easier. I hope this helped! So happy to know I am not alone, and thanks again for the nice comment!
"Valerie!" It's so nice to see you here. Thanks for sharing a bit of detail on how you came so far. Thanks again for being willing to share your story here. It helps all of us more than you know.
I relate - my mom was the same growing up. But she was never so much fun & exciting - my mom has always had her nose buried in her work, and then dealing with my angry alcoholic father - she was very emotionally unstable.
She was planning on killing herself (along with me in her belly) the night she found out my dad relapsed, but instead she went into labor with me.. throughout my childhood anything would tip her off and she’d be screaming and crying and saying she was going to kill herself or leave us, and sometimes she would get in her car and go for hours, leaving us to believe she really did abandon us..
Thankfully for us, she’s healed as we’ve grown up and after she left my dad. She’s in a much much better place now, along with our relationship.
Yea. I am super impressed with your groundedness.
If you can't be gracious, don't go, would be my leaning from experience. You can plead work or something important planned already, if you do it now - far in advance. I tried to go and be chill and flopped a few times. It ticked me off hearing people laud my 'stupid' parent. Now, it's not like that. I laugh a lot more!
What I've gotten good with is I stopped 'trying to have meaningfulrelationships' with the various step-moms and dads. Just cordial. Just like meeting any new 'person'. If I like 'em, great. If not, oh well. I'll be pleasant no matter what, but try to avoid as much as possible.
It doesn't impact me so much. It's taken ages to get there. You r doing great!
I was much like the mother, traumatized, constantly seeking external approval and validation, toxic-relationships, and then, at 35, I just, stopped. I woke up. I realized how badly this was impacting my daughter. She witnessed domestic violence, panic attack after panic attack, ER visits. I’m now on a journey of healing but it hasn’t been fun. My daughter deserves a healthy mother and more importantly, she deserves a healthy sense of self and if I continued my self-destructive behaviors, she most likely will repeat. That is enough for me to change.
What a beautiful thing you're doing for yourself and your daughter by healing. Agreed - healing isn't always fun, but sounds like your daughter will be an excellent motivator to keep going. (And we're all here for some added encouragement when needed.) Sending you the best. - Ashley, Team Fairy
You do so much for us, Anna. I can really tell that you care. You are a walking testimony and a true role model. Thank you for all that you do! ♡
What a kind thing to say! Thank you for taking the time to comment :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I second that! I’ve learned so much from CCF videos!
Sobriety being clean doesn’t mean healthy
I think they’re called dry drunks.
Is there a scenario where you say “no” to being a bridesmaid but “yes” to attending the wedding, so you don’t have a super intense involvement, and you can duck out at any time, but can be there if a part of you wants to be there.
that sounds like a great plan B
@FlyingMonkies325 I’m not suggesting the woman feel pressured into going to her mothers wedding, just asking if there’s a version where she can go if she wants to, if she wants to be supportive of her mom, but without the obligation associated with being a bridesmaid. If the woman doesn’t want to go, then she shouldn’t.
I had a similar situation just over a year ago with my mother. I am autistic and have CPTSD. My mother remarried after 13 years since my step father passed away (whom I was very close to). My mother endured a terrible childhood and does exhibit some narcissistic traits (which I also see how they rubbed off on me and I am growing in self awareness of).
I just attended the actual wedding ceremony and not the reception afterwards because I knew it would be too socially overwhelming. My anxiety was terrible when I communicated with my mother that I would just be attending her wedding ceremony and not the receptions. I was so hurt that she dismissed my personal difficulties when I communicated my needs, but I stuck to my decision. I have low contact with my mother as she can be like Jekyll/Hyde and I never know when it is going to come but it does. She expects me to disown myself to suit her mood, but I won't no matter how uncomfortable I feel. I don't hate my mother, I certainly have strong feelings like that at times but I deal with that with myself, not take it out on someone else or turn on myself. I am grateful for content like this and wish everybody well.
Thanks for sharing your experience! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
As a fellow autistic person I can say stick to the boundaries you need to keep your mind and body in the here and now. There us no need to risk a meltdown, shut or overload for someone else. We are the best judges of our capacity to cope with social situations and what we can handle. Just because neurotypicals think it is normal does not mean we have to do it we know what we can manage and still function.
I have found the Daily Practice helpful since processing my emotions lessens the over-stimulation that life in this crazy would can create.
I have only ever attended one wedding reception and that was because it was one plans with space for autistic people to chill when needed (the couple are both neurodiverse and the kids from her first marriage so it had to be accessible for them). I also left early which was fine. In all other cases I have avoided the reception in recent years or left state after the meal stage if I can (family weddings where I had to go).
The Daily Practice is SO helping me with emotional regulation..Anna you're a Godsend!
It's like someone came in and organized a big messy room.
I'm like , "ohh there's my shoes, and oh over there is my coat, "these things I've been looking for were there all along I just had them all jumbled up and couldn't see them.
Do not go. YOU COME FIRST.
Going through this with my 91 year old mother😢
It never ends until it's all over, does it?!
@veronicavarela2041 It ends when you learn to set your boundaries and find peace with yourself.
It can! I cared for my Mom til 100. I set and followed through with my boundaries and after huffing and puffing and ‘tis-king me, trying to guilt and shame me, our dynamic changed. I was clear and consistent. I only cared for her cuz I had promised my Dad. If I hadn’t, I would have never seen her again.
And not felt guilty
Yep my childhood and adulthood was all about them.
"Give it a year, she'll be single again." OMG, that was ruthless. So true, though, I've known people like that.
Borderline is actually very treatable with DBT. It is highly effective if people get into treatment. I would guess there is some attachment wounding in there too.
DBT never worked for my borderline personality disorder. In fact, I'm seeing results through CBT with an amazing therapist (after going through 6 horrible therapists who pushed DBT). I also have a background in psychology so I could be biased.
this is so random but I love how full your hair is!!! Gorgeous
It seems that you have great writers here. Everyone's stories are always thorough and witty. It warms my heart that you always begin with compassion and validation. Acknowledging the grief and trouble your writers have been through and commending them for the coping & healing they've done on their own so far. You're a great mother, sister and teacher. 🌹
So scary 😮if I become a mum like her mum! Really need to stay strong! Not pass on unhealthy childhood that I suffered!
This is not a coincidence that I saw this today. 😳 very similar to something I'm going through right now. How bizarre. I'm not going to the wedding either. 🙌💙🙌
The mom may be physically sober, but not emotionally. She obviously is not working a 12-step program, which would require making honest amends for harms she caused. She knows what to do--she just wants reassurance and support.
I can relate to a lot of this. My heart goes out to you.
10:45 i agree and think they would be able to read between the lines. thanks for your video, ccf!
We can forget that the things we find draining/exhausting/past our limit are all also experienced and more heavily carried by the person living with them. Sometimes an attitude of compassion is required.
She mentioned being close to your sister.Something to be grateful for bsc some moms manage to pit siblings vs each other.truly blessed
mum may have gotten substance sober but she is still 'using'
in the realm of relationships and marriages.
going to those weddings would feel to me like being an enabler.
just because society idealises marriage and weddings, doesn't mean it is a genuinely healthy, wholesome thing and certainly it sounds like Mum binges on weddings and new men.
anything can be used for perpetuation of psychological problems, and deregulation ..food, shopping, work, sex, relationships (getting married) etc.
It's hard to stand back and watch loved ones run from their pain and deny and avoid doing the proper work to heal.
loved ones of drug addicts, alcoholics, narcissists who use people, perpetual relationship seekers etc get faced with the decision to either 'hard love' and let the addict go do their thing without enabling them or participating in supporting them while making those choices
or to just accept them as is and watch them act crazy loose and not heal anything..
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
the courage to change the things I can
and the Wisdom to know the difference.
The issue, especially for children, is for them to have communication with the one they were emotionally comfortable with. If you cut thar person out who kept the situation stable, what do they expect. It must be hard for children who need things explained to them . There is no point to me being in a relationship with kids if the two of you don't seek to cover for each others weaknesses..
I've had a difficult last couple of days... I had an issue with the apartment complex I live in and it triggered my anxiety and anger so badly that I almost had to go to the Emergency Room... Then today I had to cancel my vacation because I really scared myself yesterday and I'm afraid of having another episode in the flight... My Mom and Aunt kept pushing me until I had to have my Service Coordinator call them and tell them it is in my best interest to cancel my Vacation at this time... So they both violated my boundaries in a way....
This particular scenario is not relevant to me but I watched it anyway! 😁 I heard some good stuff in there that I can apply to being on social media... I was going to ask you if you could create a video on putting yourself out there on social media, all the concerns. I'm 59, so my discomforts include what people think of me, am I being narcassistic (my mother's voice, my religious friends voices), how do I look/feel that day derails me often... any nasty comments - i got one when I started a few years ago and it shook me until i realized they are common and I got the feel of social media, ha. My current "fix" is reminding myself what my goals are, who it's for, and telling myself this could be helpful or enjoyable for someone. I still struggle tho, and push through most of the time. I wish I could be more consistent; seems to go in waves. Thanks for the video!
This reminded me so much of my mom so I really feel for Valerie. What has helped me with similar situations is finding a middle ground. Such as not being in the wedding but attending and getting in and out as soon as you can. Thanks CCF for all your great content.
Maybe ask Mom what you can do other than a bridesmaid maybe a guest book or something. If you are uncomfortable have a way out of the day.
Annais right it does not matter what other think about us period.
I wish you could get a radio show like Doctor Laura 😍
That would be awesome!
You sound like you are in a healthy place. So this is the funny suggestion. If you want to go, do but bring a friend. Dont get emotionally involved in it because your mom is not a reflection of you. Go watch it like one of those crazy wedding 🎬 movies. Go for the food, cake, eat and dance. Act like you are at a stranger's wedding. Go with an entertainment mindset and what a s*** show this is about to be. Definitely bring a friend and if you get overwhelmed, leave. Work on your daily practice so you are not triggered so much. Since you are from out of state, show up right before and leave right after.
Not going on my Vacation was a very difficult situation but I felt it was the best move for me given my situation .. 😢.
Such a difficult situation, I can relate at least regarding the instability and just having triggers with parents. I think the advice was absolutely amazing too! I just want to say that it's quite important to revisit how we view other mental illnesses. After all CPTSD is also a mental illness. None of them are better or worse than another, every case is individual and on the spectrum. Medication has been shown to not be always helpful for any of it. I know BPD has been so stigmatized over the years by the mental health professionals, that more often than not people don't get appropriate help for it. Sometimes BPD is only triggered by certain "unfit" relationships and pretty much disappears once that person feels safe again. That might happen few times (let's be honest, many people have been in more than one shitty relationship), but it's still important to not think that person is beyond help or that BPD couldn't be just as easily addressed as CPTSD with proper methods. I also think a lot of this is happening regarding narcissism now. I think too many people immediately villainize the person rather than the behavior. It is absolutely horrid, I say that from personal experience, but what I am saying is a lot of judgement comes from our assumptions and fear, we really cannot know each individuals intention, like with BPD stigma (that is slowly improving), maybe somebody will figure out how to better help these people, but what I see online calling them non-human, saying that absolutely all of them are evil and malicious and can never ever change - not helpful. I think a lot of really toxic and abusive behaviors are like addiction - so hard to stop and admit to, but we don't say addicts can never change. I just hope everyone can reflect that b&w thinking is not very healthy from our side either, we should definitely look for solutions as a society and not abandon people who can't figure things out themselves. Mental health help should be normalized, accessible to everyone and then we will start seeing slow changes even in those that we thought are irredeemable.
You're a blessing, Anna.
anna provided some lovely friendly real talk advice in this video
Glad my parents weren't dysfunctional and toxic as a kid.
Sadly parents often instead of supporting their children with life,they just make so much harder.Well ...but WHO knows there is probably a reason behind IT...if IT keeps happening ...so called a bigger picture ...I guess IT's for US to consciously choose a healthy way of living ...to consciously start loving and accepting ourselves and consciously learn as much as possible from the hardship ♥️
Maybe there's a compromise that works? You can not be in the wedding party & not be in the planning & go as a "spectator". It's hard for me to not get pulled into things so I set a boundary before & make myself stuck to it, come what may. That way, I'm less invested in the outcome & don't have as much anxiety about the process.
Im replacing "parent" with sibling
You have no idea that you're so telling the truth keep telling it and you're awesome sweetheart you're so telling it's so much better and you're awesome 👍🏾💯💪🏾😎 and thanks for everything you are saying and I appreciate it and you're awesome 👍🏾💯❤
Thank you for your kind words towards Anna!
Nika@TeamFairy
Don't waste your energy trying to talk to family about it. This will be their response
" I get it honey. you know how she is. She is your mother. It's ok. Just suck it up" blah blah
Yes! Don’t make “us” look bad. Don’t embarrass my folks…
I'm getting so much from your videoes. I'm so thankful to you and your hard working team. Crappy Childhood Fairy came to me at a point in my life when I REALLY NEEDED IT. I've taken a short course of yours and found it very useful. Bless you all for your insightful and considered work. I like your style Anna. I'm interested in other resources around CPTSD. I've bought Pete walkers's book on your recommendation: "complex ptsd from surviving to thriving". Do you have a list of resources that you could share? I'm not sure if you've done a video on this already. I was wondering if you could point me in the right direction. Thank you. God bless.
If i was her, i wouldnt go.
I still don't know what boundaries are
I really appreciate your videos
Thank you 🙏🏻
"there's no medication for narcissism" 🤣
I think there is a half way. It would be easy not to be a bridesmaid and play a small part. In my opinion it would be a mistake not to go. I understand the difficulties.
Most mental illnesses include some forms of narcissism because they have no insight of themselves. Most bipolars are known to jump from relationship to relationship or have a sex addiction so sounds like bipolar.. past Behavior predicts future outcomes it looks like this woman feels the same thing will happen again and most likely it will.
She has to weigh her options for that wedding day. I feel that she can get through that one day, let it go in one ear and out the other, smile through the several hours it will take; and resume her excellent choice of living quite a distance from her. That way she won't have to hear anything from relatives, explain anything, and not look back. But it's her choice.
This is almost exactly the story of my sister! She’s the one who got involved with horrible men…same story! I think my sister had borderline PD. She passed away at 46 years old.
The extended family would be insane judging the daughter when they’re going to a 6th wedding. At this point, sounds like insanity going to these weddings.
Borderline always mimic someone with autism. As in clinicians are starting to see them as probably the same. Just as an FYI :)
Thank you. U
You are most welcome! -Calista@TeamFairy
Hear Hear 10:25
Takea friend along for support
I feel like I'm the crappy mom and my children are dealing with a lot. I haven't married but one man and was married for 32 years. It was a crap fit. I got to see my daughter and her new fiance fo 1 1/2 hours. It went well but I miss her. I'm trying to heal but they need healing too. This makes me very sad.
Trauma-driven thinking can be discouraging. But never forget: Healing is possible! If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
I'm not a psychologist but I don't think the mom doesn't recover because she suffers from borderline personality disorder (although to me it sounds like she suffers from Histrionic personality disorder not BPD, because people with BPD tend to get hooked to one person instead of changing partners every few months. And are more willing to admit they're at fault).
To me, what hinders her progress is precisely her unwillingness to admit that she has a problem.
Personality disorders in particular are labels that we give to a major trauma wound. It doesn't mean that we don't have a little bit of that just to a lesser degree.
Just imagine what personality disorder you would've been labeled as, had you continued on a path of deterioration.
It’s also possible, one in a million chances, that this could be her last and only meaningful relationship❤
That’s NPD
💛
Is there a facebook group or a other side there i can meet people that start to heal too .very bad in technology and alone isoleded and whant to reach put to people that know how it is .
Our membership program does include a private Facebook group! Here's a link if you want to check it out: bit.ly/CCF-Membership
-Calista@TeamFairy
Just be a “guest”. Set a time limit and leave.
Wow Fairy 🫶🏻✊🏻😁💜
❤️
But not all traumas are because of dysfunctional toxic parent !! Sometimes we grab it from past life