Violence Is Never The Answer, Right? | The Hunt For The World’s Oldest Man | Runaway Saw Blade Drama
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- Опубликовано: 3 апр 2024
- An alarming number of Americans believe violence can solve our political divisions, the oldest man in the world has passed away, and a man in Oregon has a near miss with a giant runaway saw blade.
#Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015. 
Развлечения
From the outside (Europe, here) it seems so unbelievably crazy that this election could be even vaguely close.
“United” indeed.
American here. Believe me when we say we think it's insane too. I don't think it will end up being that close, myself.
America is slipping into stark, raving madness, my friend 😢
I agree we have many dumb people here willing to risk our democracy for dump in pants gross old party members like Nazis
There are a lot of loud crazies on the internet trying to make it look close.
The truth shall set us free!!!❤️ Go Stormy! Go Michael Cohen!
what about karen mcdogal?
beware cohen liar con man coverup now spotted as trusted status? boy are we stupid and fickle are we as a social media consumer. Always in late love and truth.
@@honpot2016 Spelled it incorrectly. Please try again.
TRUMP 2024
@@silentmajority8365 You should change the avatar name name to "silentminority"".
6:24
I was 100% expecting CERVESA CRISTAL
Right?? Totally missed opportunity!
Yes!
Wait...what is this?
@@kylehd7its… CERVESA CRISTAL!
Yeah, but unlike CERVESA CRISTAL!... ahem, unlike Cervesa Cristal, Bud Light is likely paying. At least, I assume they were, since there was no joke at BL's expense and BL Lime isn't equivalent to aguardiente.
The Cerveza Cristal joke opportunity was right there! 😭
Not gonna lie, I was half expecting it.
The alcohol bit... Would have been perfect to throw in "cerveza Cristal!!"
A gold toilet is missing? 🤔🤔 Has anyone searched Mar A Lago?? 😂
think thats more a trumptower thing!
That was my first thought as well. But mho may be right... I think that's more tower than club.
😂😂😂
Check under thst big pile of boxes marked top secret.
My first thought!
Also has anyone checked the crime scene for discarded documents or Big Mac wrappers that wouldn't flush?
(even after 15 tries) 😳
"get back to 69ing Vermont" was some good writing. Hilarious.
I loved Louis Cato's on-stage cameo as his hologram tries to reach for his guitar. Tim Cook!! 😂
That bud light lime was such a missed opportunity for a callback to Cerveza Cristal!
I thought the same thing lol
I know right
Tbh, I was really disappointed they missed that one.
Came here for this comment
The fakeout
April trials brings me smiles😂
I've been saying "April snow brings may flowers" because it's snowed at least twice since April 1st. It hasn't stuck, but there have been flakes.
that smile will turn to a frown. hes gunna win and then just pardon himself
Great line!
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
😁 Great line!!! 🎉 😂
5:35 I was really expecting there to be a joke here about our presidential candidates being the contenders for the oldest living man.
Same!
Gotta love the Militant Centrists. “Give me liberty, Or give me something else!”
Stormy' won't be intimidated and give great detail, it's her business, A Pro! You go, Girl....
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
@@j.dunlop8295 okay dude, that's at least three copies of the exact same comment. It was good once... but don't try to make this your fifteen minutes of fame.
@@zedmelonNow I’m suddenly thinking it’s a bot after defending this statement earlier.
@@jeanneganrude8549 True, we've seen far less plausible happenings come to pass...
6:33
Normally I hate April 15th (tax day), but this year is a different story. Now where is my popcorn?
And beer
At the end, Louis and the band look like they're on seventh heaven. They have the greatest job and they appreciate it! I appreciate their awesome music.
Yes, they say "April showers bring May flowers." But you know what Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims. Just ask the Natives how that turned out...
that is quite a cool segue
I hope Stormy winks and smiles at Donny during the trial.
lol, or waves a little mushroom fan…
Trump derangement syndrome is crazy you guys really be fantasizing😂
@@jeromesullivan4015😄😄😄😄😄
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
she should bring a little 3” potted mushroom to the trial with her.
Finally a real Judge with integrity and ethics that follows the law.
AMEN.
@@marjoriegarland2798 no, that shit is anti-law. Religion out of reality now!
Unlike Cannon or Cannot. She has egregiously offered the craziest “what ifs” in the world. This so called judge needs a little comeuppance come judgement day or in the next week or so ~
That "Darn you Tim Cook!" Almost was lost on me.
But who is Tim Cook? Thought his name was 🍎 Tim Apple! 😂
Forget the toilet. At my work building, someone strolled in with a wheel cart, loaded up our vending machine, and strolled right out in front of 3 deputies. Brazen as all get out - stole our vending machine 😂
I wish in the news they had to disclose how a poll was conducted. Are they calling landlines south of the Mason Dixon line? Cell phones? What are the demographics? Who answers unknown calls on their cell phones?
News broadcasts don't have time for a full explanation. However, you can do it just by using a web browser. Took me less than 30 seconds. BTW RDD is random digit dialing. maristpoll.marist.edu/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/NPR_PBS-NewsHour_Marist-Poll_USA-NOS-and-Tables_202403291554.pdf
Yeah that is a problem with polling, most of it is still conducted via landlines if I’m remembering correctly, and what isn’t has trouble with younger people, due to the fact that if we’re not expecting a call, and we don’t recognize the number, we don’t answer
@@justintaylor1713I’m 72 and I don’t answer unknown phone callers! I can’t be the only old person doing that?
@silverhooligan
Poll respondents are mostly lonely retirees, eyes glazed by the light on a flickering TV.
If polls were correct, HRC would have been president. I’ll not answer a poll/survey again until America has dumped Trump. Let marketers/prognosticators wilt on their channels. Horoscopes have a better success rate lately.
88 charges? He has a charge for every key on a piano.
Nice catch 🙂
Ebony
And Ivory
There is one key for every
Felony...
lol
Noice!
@@grumpydave7329 Superb
That was my old badge number. He can't have that!
“I need a beer, it’s 9 O’Clock, I’m not going to work today”
I hope that man took the best self care day possible.
Well damn. I would be appalled by a poll asking if AMERICANS would consider violence to solve problems. But I live here. Nothing shocking about that.
“April trials brings smiles”❤
😅😅😅
Stormy should sue for PTSD 😊
And probably STD
Can we all sue
God bless Brian, such a wholesome comedic relief. And that’s saying something with Stephen Colbert there ❤
How would violence solve divisions?! 🤦🏼♂️
That saw blade is straight out of final destination.
😂😂 imagine the guy having just saw the movie going in the door thinking "I just can't take any more scares right now"
Is odd..but it wouldn't kill him , a saw at that speed would just bounce off . Injure him slightly ?yes, kill or saw him in half? , no
@@jlbueno0611Tell that to the door.
you beat me to it,how crazy was that!!?
@@jlbueno0611 ok let's try that theory on you
''Sixty-Nining Vermont'' is probably the most clever joke i've ever heard Colbert tell.
"April trials, brings me smiles!" I love it!😂😂😂
Don’t f this up America get that man in prison now.
hunter?
christian nationalists. we can deal with druggies and oldness after. priorities.@@kane-vn6bn
Trump needs to go to jail already my God
@@kane-vn6bn yes if Connor committed a crime sure put him in jail
@@markkrull556he's been getting caught in crimes for years now 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
"i need a beer.."9:00... " i'm not going to work today.. ".... LEGEND..
Aquardiente is the national alcoholic happy juice of Venezuela and Colombia It has a licorice/ Sambuca
taste and a few whole coffee beans are sometimes added for extra zippity do da !!😂
Yeah get some
It will also help your
sticker peck out 😮😊
“Violence-
Violence-
Is it the only thing
that will make you see sense?”-Mott the Hoople
Four-foot circular saw rips across parking lot and drives itself into convenience-store doorframe. Ten seconds later it's followed by Thor's hammer.
I can’t wait to never hear about donnie drumpf ever again!
that will never happen dude. all this show does now is talk about trump and taylor swift. but you're right, its getting old
amen
You got that right
@@mikehennessy6766 > _it's getting old_
Nice callback to the "oldest man alive" segment.
Trump's father lived into his 90s. It could be a while.
"Oh, Stormy, oh, Stormy
Bring back that sunny day" - Classics IV
You know that someone is a genuinely nice dude when he even doesn't know how to properly scream with anger ❤
Yeah this guy was on Epstein's Island...
And sure you're going to try to play what about ism.
But what was he doing there? Take a wild guess
RIP Juan Vicente Bismora. Meanwhile (as Craig Ferguson noted), the curse of the world's oldest man continues......
I laughed more at your Comment than any of the late night hosts on RUclips this morning!! 😆
I love how Colbert endorsing the simple concept of nonviolence gets applause. Like it's some noble and novel idea or something to aspire to XD
*Nonviolence is non-effective against fascists.*
Lately there's not enough "taking the high road" in the news. We're starved for even the slightest indication of it.
@@zedmelon Agreed, Rump has irreparably degraded human civilization
Followed by "4 on 1 - we can take these guys!"
A truly great one liner.
I'll be thinking about that for a few weeks.
mostly peaceful???
"Aguardiente" literally translates to "burning water". In Chile, instead of dinner we have a sort of expanded tea time call "onze" ("eleven", not to be confused with "elevenses"). Why eleven? Because back in the olden days, it wasn't polite to drink in front of the ladyfolk, so the men would excuse themselves to go for "eleven", the number of letters in "aguardiente".
Thank you. That was interesting.
En serio? Here it's called Guaro. It is indeed burning water 😜 que asco
"...they're very different." Truth.
Stephen doesn't have a drinking problem. It goes down just fine.
That saw looked like it was auditioning for Final Destination 😨
A new Final Destination movie may be on the horizon!
I really expected to see Tony Todd in the parking lot.
Violence is division at its paramount.
That poor woman didn't get paid enough.
I love you Stephen Colbert for making us laugh and telling about Trump.
Hope this trial puts him in jail
Don't hold your breath.
"He's surfing in Nebraska." My favourite way to say that somebody's not the brightest. Could possibly apply to what's happening in Nebraska?
Between the runaway saw and the gold toilet, it feels like Meanwhile has invaded the monologue.
Yeah! Luis got some more screen time, AND SMASHED IT! I LOVE THIS SHOW, AND THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY SOUL!
Trump is going down like Don Jr on a fresh cut key of blow!!! 🙂
Yeah, let's see how JNR manages without his 'Mexican marching powder'... Unless he becomes a 'bitch' for one of the cartel... In prison.
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
#separationofchurchandstate @@j.dunlop8295
Violence is a problem, and never an answer.
"BALLS" The first Judge to grow them will be a Hero! BALLS.
haha, true that!
Leftists lack testosterone...look at that nut judge in nyc
Libs lack balls
Rest in Peace to the world's oldest man who lived to be 114 years old 🕊️😢
Stephen is cheating on Cerveza Cristal
And RIP to Gisaburo Sonobe who inherited the oldest man award for a day or two.
This past week a 102 year old Pearl Harbor vet died. He was the LAST survivor of the USS Arizona. 🇺🇸
I read this...WoW ❤
@@SayAhh He missed a golden opportunity there - his writers dropped the ball.
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, This made me so happy! I liked and subscribed!
That old man gasp was hilarious
They live that long because they have a nice, comfortable place to live and a loving family that takes care of them.
Great line Louis Cato 🤣🤣🤣
Aguardiente
Agua Ardiente
FIRE WATER lol
I love the Golden toilet joke!!!⭐️
Greetings from Eugene Oregon
I have been to that store, long time ago. So strange to see Eugene being talked about by Stephen. We never make national news.
Same here! That clip horrified me, though; what a way to make the news.
You had the World Athletics Championships just 2 years ago. I watched every moment of it from here in Singapore. Thank you. You have a beautiful city.
@@pintpot that championship was such a disappointment. I worked at two different popular tourist spots in Eugene at the time, and we were expecting all these people to show up- bupkis! Everywhere was even more dead than usual because even locals stayed home too, avoiding the crowds that weren’t.
@@pintpot Thank you! That means a lot coming from someone living in Singapore (I mean, talk about beautiful). I'm, personally, very proud of our little city. ❤
"You know what they say about Nebraska?"
"Who the fuck is talking about Nebraska??"
😂😂😂...
Yeah this whole concept's corny
This deserves 311 likes.
Method Man.
I'm from Eugene. Go Ducks! "We smoked it all."
That guy should have immediately bought a lottery ticket before his luck wore off.
Listening to Donnie always sparks a sense of wonder... such as wondering how the late night hosts will mock him mercilessly!
6:50-7:05.
That was some "Final Destination" shit!
Thanks Stephen for your program, always very funny and spirit lifting while exposing the GOP and DT's horrible and disgusting actions! 👍👍👍
Sawblade: Sorry 'bout that Chief! Missed him by _that_ much.
I’d like to thank all three judges for allowing the prosecution of Donald Trump to proceed.
Yes- Merchant, Chutkin and Mcafee. Judge Cannon is a loose Cannon, corrupt Cannon
God bless America, and I'll never eat mushrooms again!😅🍄 Well maybe a magic one, or two?😅
@@j.dunlop8295
Please share✨️💙😜🙏🏾😍
Say no to mushrooms 😎
Baby mushrooms never stand erect but always blow in the wind.
I can't believe you're about my city, Eugene, Oregon!❤
I know, I live in Eugene too.
Lived there awhile back, such a great city back then.
But... KGW 8 is Portland station, not Eugene, right?
@@rockyfennell Yes, I caught that error as well. KGW is Portland and KEZI is Eugene.
KLCC! That dude’s comment was perfectly Eugene too. 😎 😂
Stephen, Love your Monologue! I can see Trump seeing it, and choking on a Chicken Wing!!!
Great reporting: "A 4-foot concrete saw came loose".
Bottle whistle was dead on!! Good job colbert!!
Instead of Bud Lite Lime, they could have gone with the "Cerveza Cristal"
That’s some Final Destination stuff with that saw blade!!😳😳
😂 I'm a Brit. I remember that story about stealing that gold toilet!
We were all asking the same questions!
How?
Why? 😅
"tim COOOOOK!"
bravo louis.
😹😹😹😹😹 5/5
Cobert is a GEM
💎 ‼️
Yay. I'm looking forward to this trial.
HANDOUT: 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿
I Love You Brian Stack!
he “saw” his life flash before his eyes… needs a beer😂
Aguardiente is a shot drink, Stephen! No chugging!
Whoops...😂😂
Thank you for always making me smile 💪🙏
He should have brought back...
Cerveza Cristal!!!! 😎🍻😎🍻
The Markwayne portion of the party think punching someone out proves them correct. 😅😅
Trump could steal the gold toilet with the "I came in with this!" excuse!
Except his were only plated. And the guy who made them for him made out like a fat NYC rat.
Violence to solve political issues? I thought we were more civilized than that by now. 🤦♀️☹️
When some people treat your existence as political; violence is inevitable.
I thought so too, and then Rittenhouse was acquitted.
Nope…
Great work with the tough guy impression.
Love the show, u great dude, watching from my Sithole country in Africa (lol).
I wrote a report to the court about a man who shoplifted a CANOE! The security guard held the door open for when he left. Just as heads were about to roll he came back. Not to return the canoe in some fit of conscience. He CAME BACK FOR THE OARS!!!
When I was in my twenties, I worked for a department store that had two cockatoo shoplifted
@@cathywethington5913 Isn't that redundant?
Will Stormy bring a copy of Forbes magazine?
The old guy sound on the Aging News intro was under appreciated.
If April showers bring May flowers, than what do May flowers bring? Colonizers 😂🎉
So many Cervesa Crystal missed opportunities 🤦♂️
Cristal!
I love Brian Stack
April trials bring me smiles... yay! 😂❤
Deliver Lewis his Emmy, right now!
As a person living in Thailand I appreciated the reference to Muay Thai!
Brian Stack is the best! Loved him on Conan! Love him here!
"He tries. He's well-meaning"