When I met my husband he had a bunch of "magazines" I threw them away. I told him about trafficking and how people are used as objects and think about his children. He never got another one. Happily married 7 years in the Catholic Church.
@@jn-fd6iw sorry to say I’m one of those young men. I was first exposed to it when I was just 9 years old. And I was an atheist for more than a decade, continuing to abuse myself all the while. So when I came to the faith it was extremely difficult to overcome my vices, and in fact I still struggle with it to this day. Please pray for me.
Finally, they get to topics no one wants to talk about, but are so important to discuss. Thank you. I know this must have been uncomfortable for the both of you. Praise God
This teaching needs to be included in a Catholic Church for couples who want to marry in the Catholic faith. God bless you Father for sharing the truth.
@@Sunshine-Light God’s teaching didn’t stop in the Bible. God is the living God, he teaches us in spirit everyday. What not to do. Not to spend too much time on ticktock is not on the Bible, but it’s a sin.
Church needs to focus more on it's own s3sual deviences as opposed to consenting married adults.. 1000s of fresh cases of abuse in Ireland. Why not speak on this?
Wonderful clarity! Now I know what I don’t need to talk about in confession which can be just as helpful as what would need to be confessed! So grateful! The truth sets us free! For some of us who are really struggling to put God first yet not being overly constrained and therefore needlessly restrictive, the clarity in this teaching is very refreshing. Without clarity one can really suffer with unnecessary guilt and also not know what to say in confession. Unfortunately many priests are very uncomfortable discussing such matters and so one is left feeling awful no matter what they do or don’t do! It really is a quandry when you are in this situation. Thank you both for this conversation. I am grateful to you both! God is so good! ♥️🕊️
@@metalliclark86 You can't be serious! Men have much bigger sex drive in 90 percent I would say,it is medias propaganda that women think about sex often.Also just from logic point, It was men in the history (and nowadays) who have many wifes,who use prostitutes, not the other way around. How many women "customers" did you see in "Sound of freedom"? Maby we live in different world but when I look around I see men committing sex sins much more. Men Instead of being our guardians,they often profanate women and find tons of excuses, like the one you just said,the most popular one,that women just want this as much as you do! No ,we don't, we are different, we would rader go shopping, watch tv,go for a walk,famous Sofia Loren once said that she would rather have spaghetti than sex. We are happy with a hug,kiss,good word,nice gesture ,sometimes much more than sex. Not saying we are not interested at all in it,we are,just much less than men. There are some marriages as a matter of fact that are completely "white" and happy, not many,but that that just showes it is possible .
When we got married many years ago we had poor teaching from our then priest who told my husband in the matrimonial bed everything is permissible. I feel such anger when I think of that. Because of that my husband chooses to believe that to this day. It’s very hurtful
@@sheylamercado9801I'm mestizo , I assume you are / Hispana same but different word I preferred more appropriate terminology. So it seems this ignorant priest told your husband in front of you his wife, sexualized actions in marriage are permissible? Morally permissible no, that is obviously false. Catholic philosophy and theology practically do not allow sexual evils. Such as the atheist hedonist "Open marriage" or something morally reprehensible disgusting I've read online when protestant were speaking of "pegging" which is when usually partner place plastic penis on their groin and penetrate their partner, same sex or opposite sex, this here is something Which Is same to transgenderism in practice and logical evil, those evil humans men and women who do this sexualized action are certainly condemned as with any sexual sin, this is what a kink is, same with homosexual abusing same sex boy or girl, the sexual gratification is to abuse the persons dignity and comfort, and. That's fundamentally sexual gratification for this evil action that only perverse people committed , protestants as I've read were speaking this on some page I found while looking for morally permissible actions in Christianity spouses sexualized life wife husband. The woman argued against conservative man , she speaks her husband loves her and he feels joy with her, obviously we can force our way in morally and conclude this is not love this is abuse, as it's not the penis which is part of woman but only male, and so if biological man who's transgender woman with the same logic would action in these permissible evils, and do abuse unto his wife this isnt easily forgivable. The consequences such as rape, abuse of children are there. When a rapist regrets , or a murderer regrets their sin. The forgiveness may be given, but the consequences of triumphing over sin is certainly 10,000% . Heterosexual fornication is I imagine lower on this list of evil but still not morally good as theving is obviously. Those protestant "Christians" hold to most definitely mindset of liberalism. And so demons have hold to their minds. These evil spirits have fooled stupid humans into believing rape is love, homosexuality is love, rapists believe it's love, and so these supposed Christians aren't very far from full complete darkness they exist in it already now if only they were incestual or worse. Id certainly suggest slapping your husband in the mouth if he suggests anal sex. God created the male penis for the female vagina that is by sexualized body in nature , a electrical plug 🔌 to electrical socket. To create more of what is blessing humans. You should love your husband sexually and he should restrain his body if you're ill. But laziness and sin aren't good neither. God bless keep praying for your marriage , husband, you. I should keep praying for my wife.
I heard a talk given by Fr. Ripperger and he discusses this in a sacramental way. The 2nd part of marriage is the marital act and when the couple is in the state of grace, they actually obtain grace through then2nd part of the Sacrament of marriage. In my opinion, this is exactly why the Church and her priests ought to give more education to couples. What did Sister Lucia say the final battle between God and Satan be? Marriage and Family. How efficacious would the pure and holy love of spouses be if we purified this area of anything that is preventing us from obtaining grace?!
Thank you Christine! This talk really helped me with a situation. Thank you for helping me grow in holiness. You are a direct answer to prayer. God bless you!
This is great. You all are emphasizing the sacred nature and reality of the sexual act. As men and women we still deal with concupiscence in terms of the disorder and corruption of our senses and passions.
Great information on Church teaching in the Catholic marital chamber! Father Chris, you are brimming with light in this video, I don’t know why some priests are afraid to speak on such subjects with such accuracy and specificity!
Most of it is the opinion of theologians. There's no official church teaching on this except for St Alphonsus Liguori being named as the one we can trust on these matters.
@@nello_77 I have read some of St.Alphonsus’ writings pertaining to the marital act and from what I remember he would concur with Fr. Chris Alar. “No corruption” (basically what Fr. Chris said in NO 3rd parties, be they person or not, including but not limited to: other people, porn, vibrators/fake genitalia, cameras filming, etc).
When I got married 26 years ago, my then fiancé and myself had to go to marital classes if we wanted to be wed in the Catholic church, which we did. I never remember talking about this sort of thing. Why isn’t there any uniformity within the Catholic church and priests
@@maxtomate And lets be honest...there are good priests/biships, and there are bad priests/biships. Some of the bad ones think abortion is ok, gay marriage is ok, and the list goes on. You must do everything you can to find a priest/parish that stays true to the teaching of the Catholic church. There are many bad apples in the church, and when you find one, you have to stay away from them.
@@buckeye2246 I suppose you are right. Like any profession, there will be good, better, great, and not so good. I just always felt some professions should be held to a higher standard. And how much higher can you get than God.
I always said God 1st ,My Children2nd ,My Mom3rd & husband was last BUT Now 43Yr married Thanks be to God ,1still is God 2nd My Husband our Boys are grown Mom is R,I,P thank God for my wonderful patient, husband 🙏🏻
Sharing this with our parish marriage prep team! Very well said and I like how Fr Chris showcases what we are saying “yes” to by saying “no” to disordered acts: it’s not just “follow the rules or you’ll be in trouble” but showing how a rightly ordered sexuality leads to the family as icon of the Trinity.
@@seraph045 I have been married 50 years. Taking advice sexual advice from a celebate man is absurd. Would seminary students take advice from me on life long celabicy. That would also be nutty. Use some common sense.
Thank you, Dr. Bacon. What has helped me in the past is to accept as a married man this teaching in place of understanding it in the big picture of the task as a husband: to die to my self and sacrifice for my wife. This means, in the marital act, to delay ejaculation in intercourse so as to provide for as many orgasms as my wife needs. Catholics should get to this level of discussion with marriage mentors so their love is transformed. God love you. Credit to Jerry Jacobs Jr and his marriage mentoring program for Catholic men.
A somewhat "difficult" subject to be certain , however, I'd submit that if.....if we thoughtfully think the issues through and even pray for clarity it soon becomes a fairly simple set of "rules" which are not rules but what God desires to provide what's needed to guide us on the path to heaven. I believe it's written on our hearts. These words come from a man with a high libido and has pretty much committed nearly any and all of the hetero sexual sins one can imagine. Praise God for His clarity and mercy. We are all works in progress and Almighty God knows this. HE will hold our hand as we, if committed and serious about amendment of life, and lead us to righteousness.
I'm happy he is teaching us how to behave in marriage to earn heaven . We all know what is good or bad in a sexual encounter in marriage. If the couple finds God, they will know to do the right thing!. Husbands are the most hard-headed, and this become a problem if not finished in divorce. They don't understand nor support their wives. We wives need to pray for them to understand and live a happy marriage.
I would have loved to put my husband first but soon after marriage I realized I married an alcoholic narcissist. He kept his drinking very well hidden until AFTER marriage. He also kept his narcissistic ways hidden. There was no way I would ever put my children second to a drunk, with anger issues. I was the only thing standing between them and a nut job.
Thank you for such a beautiful and clear explanation ! Father Chris you are such a blessing to all the church. Thank you for your dedication and service💜God bless you!
For anyone interested in this priest, Fr Alar, especially on this topic, please check out his talk on the theology of the body on Divine Mercy. There is plenty we aren't taught anymore, not even in my own country, but that channel really helps and can encourage many parishes to educate themselves and their parishioners. With God's help
Just a quick comment for those who have been given bad instructions from a priest. You have committed no sin by acting in accordance with the priestly instructions. Any culpability falls on the teacher, not the taught. Jesus makes this clear in the gospels. That said, we cannot just go from priest to priest looking for one that will tell us what we want to hear. We do need to use our own intellect and discernment.
A couple of different places actually. Firstly I would point to the Jesus taking the Church leadership to task in no uncertain terms, calling them corrupt and "blind guides". Note that he doesn't do this with the people. Instead, he forgives them while also teaching them rightly. Next I would look at Luke 12:42-28, especially where Jesus says that the one who did not know (read, properly taught) receives fewer stripes. Finally I point to Jesus teaching about leading little one astray - better a millstone..... All these point to the idea that the teacher has the heavier burden. The one taught has less culpability.
So important to hear these lessons. Demons are always trying to find a portal. Thank you for clarlarifying these issues. Porn has become one of the most prelivent addictions in AMERICA TODAY.
This priest has no idea what he is talking about. This is his opinion and an uneducated one at that. He makes marriage appear to be one giant occassion of sexual sin. If he were correct marriage would be an occassion of sin.
I was married in the 60s and I was told by my priest that anything goes between the marriage partners as long as they both consent. Obviously that priest was not taught properly and obviously I was not talk properly. This is all in the past God has forgiven and thank God I’m way out of that scenario now in my 70s.
My wife was asking about this a couple of weeks ago. I'm 71, I still get aroused, but am unable to perform. We have been engaging in the mutual activity. Thank you Lord for letting me find this vid by chance, and thank you both Padre & Doc❤✝️
Very helpful. I wish i could tell this to my husband. For years i thought he just was not attracted to me or had low t or something and it hurt me a lot. I finally told him and he confessed to me that he has struggled with scrupulosity over sex for years. This probably comes from a total lack of education. He thought he was respecting me by giving me the most - for lack of a better word - polite sex you could imagine. We've made a big step, but he's still too uncomfortable to talk about it in detail... I wish the Church would talk about these things more, because you have faithful Catholics who go the other direction of hurting their marriages through rigidity as well.
@EC-rd9ys I'm doing a follow-up show next month with Fr. Altier on this very topic! I just spoke with him today. I'm very excited to start clearing up these difficult to talk about issues! And thank you for reminding me about the scrupulosity as well. Too many have the opposite problem.
No one speaks about the older couple (post child bearing age) and also men with age related restrictions. Are these couples not able to perform satisfying acts to climax ? This is after raising the children and in the twilight of life?
@user-zl8oy5et2x correct. There are people whose age limits their pleasure. However... that does NOT allow you to go against Church teaching. The Church teaches you should "deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow HIM." I'm sorry you have these struggles, but it's a cross nonetheless.
@user-zl8oy5et2x p.s. there are NUMEROUS women who are forced to NEVER reach climax in their entire lives because few have vaginal orgasms and their husbands refuse or don't know how to stimulate them externally to get them there. Don't Guage acceptability on pleasure or not. We all have crosses.
If you believe they correct it would be a sin to receive the sacrament of marriage. They view normal marital affection and foreplay as sinful. Marriage, according to them would be an occassion of sin. My lived experience tells me marriage grants a wide protection from sexual sin between spouses. (I think it needs to be said that neither of these two were married)
Please can everyone please pray that the effect of Grace of the flame of love of our immaculate heart ❤of Mary be spread all over humanity,so it may blind Satan 🙏💕🙏Fiat Voluntas tua sicut in coelo et in terra 🙏💞🙏
M😮 husband gave me ptsd from all the times he tried to have anal sex with me. This was before I k ew about narcissism and that i was married to one. I almost went insane from not understanding why he would never listen to my no’s and always try, try, try, try, try while driving me insane. Then I learned I was married to a narc who has never cared about my feelings and only himself and was gaslighting me the whole marriage into thinking I was wrong and he was right. THANK GOD FOR ANNULMENTS BECAUSE SOME MARRIAGES WERE FOUNDED IN LIES AND PEOPLE THINKING THEY MARRIED SOMEONE NORMAL WHEN THEY ABSOLUTELY DID NOT!
@@ElizabethBattleIt’s probably more traumatic than coming back from war. I pray that some day I can feel what it’s like to have a real husband who is actually on my side and cares about my feelings and doesn’t see me as an object. Some day God willing. It’s been Hell on Earth.
"Put your spouse first" - I get it, in the sense of don't neglect your relationship and have balance. But always ranking spouse before kids feels like a violation of natural law. Parents almost universally would risk themselves for their kids' sake. You even see this among animals, like with mother elephants. I recently saw a mother deer run toward danger to protect her fawn. Just because an instinct is natural doesnt mean it's right, but we are talking about the most basic universal drive of people to put their offspring first. There really needs to be something clear and compeling to overcome that.
What you aren’t understanding is this has to do with a marriage with God as the guide. And saying spouses go first doesn’t mean to neglect your kids. It’s for many reason like for example parenting , takes two the father and mother you don’t run to your kids first for advice or discipline you go to your husband or wife. So Jesus tells us to love our wives just as he loved the church. What does this mean to sacrifice for her. And trust me you don’t want to use animals as an example because what you also aren’t saying is how animals sometimes kill their babies like cats.
Exactly what you said, we need to prioritize our spouse so that we don’t end up neglecting our marriage. And it does not mean that we neglect our kids. Of course we need to take care of them. As a mother myself, it is easy to forget your husband’s needs because you are spent and tired taking care of your children who are obviously dependent on us. If we put our children above our spouse, the marriage can easily be neglected and it will fall apart. But if we know that our spouse is our priority over the kids, then no matter how exhausted we are with our busy lives, we will be intentional and make time and efforts for our marriage. A great and loving marriage is the best gift that we can give to our children.
This video was originally from July. I’ll post the following again while seeking guidance. Here it is: A very informative talk, but there was a contradiction. Father Chris said, the “only ordered and proper sexual activity within marriage” is the male finishing inside the female. Dr. Bacon correctly adds, His seed must be placed always inside the female and nowhere else. Father Chris then says the Church comes right out in Theology of the Body and teaches oral activity on the female “is allowed except as long as it’s within the total marital act” but on the male if it ends up finishing prior to the coitus that is not proper and a lot of people have no knowledge of this. This is a contradiction. How can there be any oral activity on the female if the “only ordered and proper sexual activity within marriage is the male finishing inside the female?” I hope Father Chris or Dr. Bacon will see this question and answer it. Also, “where” does the Church teach that oral or manual “stimulation” is “acceptable or not” on the male or on the female before the male finishes inside the female? Sadly, some priests are teaching oral and manual “stimulation” is acceptable while others say it is not. I say, do what the Catholic Church teaches but where is the answer on what the Church teaches??? I hope to get an answer this time.
I agree that some specific details are even more confusing now, and it is a really difficult topic to find official Church teaching on. When and why can certain things be done and not others. I've heard a wide range of answers on what can be done or what should be- even "anything goes as long as the man finishes in the woman". It is a difficult topic to safely search on the internet and even more difficult to get clear authoritative Church doctrine
Im in the same boat. Only the Holy Spirit can move his heart towards God's intention for holy marriage. When i pray on it and let the Holy Trinity lead then they work on my husband. I can't as he thinks I'm trying to control him or manipulate him. 🙏🏼🕯🔥💗
When I learned this I went to my young husband and told him I could not continue because I was told the truth that we had not been taught. He flipped. I told him it was going to be this way or he could go. We just celebrated 38 years of matrimony with 6 children and 8 grandchildren. I was blessed that he loved me. We did go around and around for years but I held my ground with God’s grace. It was rough but it is all worth it.
My husband has scares that run deep, father issues, trust in women issues which didn't really surface till after marriage. So I've learnt that when i say things i need to be tactful and timing is important. I pray on it and usually the Holy Spirit brings something to his mind, where from another priest, man or video and we can then broach it. He will hear the message from me and straight away think the negative, but from another source he contemplates. He has been nudged a few times during Adoration 🤗 He is much better with these topics or order in marriage now, but i still need to tread carefully, praise be God 🙏🏼
I wish he would have touched more on female orgasm. It’s my understanding that because female orgasm has nothing to do with conception that as long as it happens within the context of the marital act that includes intercourse, it itself doesn’t have to happen as the result of intercourse. ???
Yes this is also my understanding from the video and from counseling with our priest. It also makes secular sense too, as many women report being unable to orgasm from penetration itself but are able to in other ways. Orgasm is part of union bonding, so I'm glad they are talking about this seriously, as the lack of education has led some wives to avoid sex out of hurt from not achieving orgasm the traditional way (and some husband's don't care or know enough about it to fix it).
@@tomlyon5058 It doesn’t HAVE to happen at that moment, but it is the ideal that we should strive for… not seeking orgasm whatsoever way we want to simply because we can’t get it done properly, this attitude can lead down the slippery slope of ‘anything goes’ - when in reality it’s, do what is genuinely the loving thing to do to get her to climax along with you… and if you don’t finish together, and she still wants to finish - it’s not only ok to do that, but can be the loving and self sacrificial thing to do in that moment after you’ve already had yours…
Female orgasm usually does not occur for most women during intercourse alone and extra stimulation is needed either before or after. It does not have to happen at all for conception to take place, but any husband who loves his wife will do what he can to make certain that she achieves orgasm as well.
He knows nothing about female orgasim. He knows nothing about marital sex. Why would what he says matter? Because he has a roman collar? Try to learn from people that have more information about a subject than you. Not less.
"within the total marital act" I think is a very charitable provision... as many of these creative sexual activities are simply foreplay. I don't see the problem or the frustration among some. The final act should be unitive and procreative. Actually I think a great number of men will find Holy Mother Church a lot more fun-loving that their own wives in this teaching.
I think rather than get so caught up in the weeds of sexual mechanics the emphasis should be on intercourse for procreation and to increase the intimacy between the married couple. It's not just for your own personal pleasure. We can go to St Paul where he says Everything is lawful but not everything is good. In other words, do certain sex acts treat the other person as an object for your pleasure or does the act show love of another in a genuine act and you have to be honest....
@@DrChristineBacon funny cuz I get tired of men staring at me and telling me how pretty I am but doing NOTHING about it…compliments have become meaningless and empty
Could youask Father why orthodox and Russiam Orthodox Catholics approve contraception for married couples? They have valid sacraments and were founded by the original 12 apostles. They are as "Catholic" as we are.
If it’s wrong to follow through with oral sex then it’s wrong to enact it. It does not seem to be worthily for the tongue, who receives the body and blood of our Lord, to be used in such a manner.
@@JesusRulez-l3j- You do realize that while you receive communion in the had the bits of the Eucharist fall to the floor and the rest of the congregation walks all over Jesus! Why do you think the Priest after communion uses Holy Water to clean the Chalice and Cerborum? That is why Communion in that hand is so destructive. Hope this helps!
I was educated in a Catholic School … (1960’s) we were never taught sex education, the whole procreation event left out. Amusingly though we were taught (in last year of school aged around 15/16) mothercare how to look after a newborn, no pregnancy, birth, breast feeding mentioned , although girls in class had witnessed breastfeeding in their homes with much younger siblings. What was emphasised was the Hierarchy of the Family, Mother, Father, Child. In childbirth, should a decision to save the mother or the newborn be required the father would have to choose to save the child. Equally if the mother and father were in a situation where only one could survive the father would be obliged to give his life to save the Mother . Thank goodness education is different today although the hierarchy within the family is still the same in the Catholic world.
So much clarity! But what if the man had a vasectomy? Or wife a hysterectomy? And not for medical reasons (prior to having full knowledge of the faith, also confessed as wrong).
Hello, I am a female hoping to get married soon. I am studying to be a doctor. Is it wrong to practice NFP until I I get my Md? My only concern is that, I will be 32 by the time I become a Psychiatrist. I know that those 12 years of school are rigorous (working 80 hours a week, for minimum pay the last 4 years). I am scared that I am being by selfish by wanting to abstain temporarily, in every period cycle until I have my career set out, as I do not know how well I can handle child bearing during those academic years, with my bipolar and anxiety conditions. I do not know if its my scrupulosity speaking.
Hmmm, no comments here about how women break their vows by restraining sex to their husbands? How about that for a topic. I have not met a married couple that has has not humor me with those problems. A woman that excuses herself with headaches at the moment her man wishes intimacy is absurd and shameful. Most catholic woman has more sex before marriage than after married. Sad but true.
@@mr.e8432Has she been to the doctor for that? There could be something messed up with her hormones. Hyposexuality is also a symptom of depression. I would go to a functional medicine doctor and probably therapy.
Trust me she wants it...buy she could have a prolapse or something health wise going on that is inhibiting her ability to get aroused. Have her get checked for this. It. could be as simple as physical therapy.
Sounds like the Catholics Church view of sex is it's only for procreation. So should there be no sex after menopause? I don't believe that because sex has the affect of reinforcing bonding. And if it's sex after menopause, what difference does it make difference does it make where the male semen ends up
I’m a cradle Catholic but I don’t think most Priests understand the traditional role of husbands. Sadly I don’t think most husbands treat their wives with the same respect wives treat their husbands. And unless you have ever been a Mother don’t comment on a Child needing all the Mom’s focus energy and attention until age 3. Many Husbands feel ignored when they don’t have a clue what Women are going through ( and never will)
@terez2136 God's laws don't change. You still need to be open to life. Consider Sarah, who was in her nineties, and Abraham. It's an act of faith that says my God is God of the impossible.
...if GOD❤ is first in one's heart, He guides us also to have the marriage-union He wishes for holiness in our souls. The issue is the material aspects of life (incl.carnality/sevualdisorded "wishes/desires"). Please dear JesusCHRIST♥️ HELP us to ASK You for HELP for everything in this life on Earth instead of making assumptions based on culture yraditions or ancestral false beliefs that do NOT reflect neither love nor respect for GOD's❤ system of life on Earth. We, in west, assume TOO much stuff and on top have far TOO MANY opinions about life (even to the point of judging God for the "way HOW" God MANAGES life = we, in west, are very lost in life)! Please HELP us dear Jesus♥️!!
@anbb5114 she is able to be fully stimulated by the husband even to climax beforehand as long as it culminates in the marital act. I believe there is no problem in the wife helping him.
Yes she can, in the context of love making, reach climax by manual stimulation as vaginal cliax is rare in the act of intercourse. The male must ejaculate inside his wife and not elsewhere for the act to be moral. It is part of a Sacrament to fulfill the proper order, the act is ordered toward procreation even if the wife is naturally infertile due to age or following nfp is outside the fertile days of her cycle. This takes a little planning, e.g. urine strips to test fertility.
@@DrChristineBacon Can a vibrator be used? I cannot climax without one - possibly due to being sexually abused at 14 by a Dr. during a genital area exam. No memories until 40 years old, but it sure explained a lot.
After our 4th child was born, my husband insisted in being sterilized. I was devastated, and heart broken. I found lots of information via The Church about why that is a mortal sin, but, no where could i find anything about how i should cope with it, once my husband had the surgery.
So tough:( I know husbands and wives who have gone through this and have attended Rachel’s Vinyard Catholic retreat and have received lots of healing from it. Prayers for you
I was going through RCIA when my spouse had their surgery. I wasn't confident enough to assert church teaching, especially when they are not catholic. But I wish we could have more. It's a beautiful thing to see large families at Mass. ❤
I’m amazed that people don’t just read the Catechism. There are few ‘restrictions’ within marital sexual relationships. One thing you both fail to mention at all, and it’s critical, is intentionality. Intention is everything. I implore people to go directly to the Church and not youtube for Catholic marital advice, because this kind of stuff can lead to excessive worry and even scrupulosity.
@InExcelsisDeo24 except that it's not clear, and few priests will explain with clarity. I do not believe the words "oral sex" or any of the things Fr. Chris talked about here are clearly written out in the catechism. I've looked. We need more learning that simply what we read. We bed it spoken, too.
When I met my husband he had a bunch of "magazines" I threw them away. I told him about trafficking and how people are used as objects and think about his children. He never got another one. Happily married 7 years in the Catholic Church.
On top of all those things It's also destroyed alot of young men and made them slaves to their vices. Very sad to see.
@@jn-fd6iw sorry to say I’m one of those young men. I was first exposed to it when I was just 9 years old. And I was an atheist for more than a decade, continuing to abuse myself all the while. So when I came to the faith it was extremely difficult to overcome my vices, and in fact I still struggle with it to this day. Please pray for me.
Finally, they get to topics no one wants to talk about, but are so important to discuss. Thank you. I know this must have been uncomfortable for the both of you. Praise God
@@maltasweet1396 it wasn't my favorite thing to discuss with a priest! But yes, it was necessary.
This is an excellent lesson. I have never heard a priest explain this, ever. Thanks be to God for Father Chris and Dr. Bacon. Thank you.
You should check out his talks on the Divine Mercy channel. He has amazing talks
My wife and I struggled with pornography in the bedroom for decades but thanks to God we no longer do.
This teaching needs to be included in a Catholic Church for couples who want to marry in the Catholic faith. God bless you Father for sharing the truth.
This is only their opinion and not infallible church teaching.
The Holy Bible is the only book for reference on these matters.
@@Sunshine-Light God’s teaching didn’t stop in the Bible. God is the living God, he teaches us in spirit everyday. What not to do. Not to spend too much time on ticktock is not on the Bible, but it’s a sin.
@Sunshine-Light no. It's not. The magestirium is also the Truth of the faith passed on orally. You can't pick and choose.
Church needs to focus more on it's own s3sual deviences as opposed to consenting married adults..
1000s of fresh cases of abuse in Ireland.
Why not speak on this?
Wonderful clarity! Now I know what I don’t need to talk about in confession which can be just as helpful as what would need to be confessed! So grateful! The truth sets us free! For some of us who are really struggling to put God first yet not being overly constrained and therefore needlessly restrictive, the clarity in this teaching is very refreshing. Without clarity one can really suffer with unnecessary guilt and also not know what to say in confession. Unfortunately many priests are very uncomfortable discussing such matters and so one is left feeling awful no matter what they do or don’t do! It really is a quandry when you are in this situation. Thank you both for this conversation. I am grateful to you both! God is so good! ♥️🕊️
This should be told to men specifically, on every possible occasion. Priests don't teach men enough.
Are men the only ones with a sex drive? If not, it should be taught to every couple.
@@metalliclark86 You can't be serious! Men have much bigger sex drive in 90 percent I would say,it is medias propaganda that women think about sex often.Also just from logic point, It was men in the history (and nowadays) who have many wifes,who use prostitutes, not the other way around. How many women "customers" did you see in "Sound of freedom"? Maby we live in different world but when I look around I see men committing sex sins much more. Men Instead of being our guardians,they often profanate women and find tons of excuses, like the one you just said,the most popular one,that women just want this as much as you do! No ,we don't, we are different, we would rader go shopping, watch tv,go for a walk,famous Sofia Loren once said that she would rather have spaghetti than sex. We are happy with a hug,kiss,good word,nice gesture ,sometimes much more than sex. Not saying we are not interested at all in it,we are,just much less than men. There are some marriages as a matter of fact that are completely "white" and happy, not many,but that that just showes it is possible .
@@metalliclark86 Indeed! As a virgin male, I have fend off women who wanted sex.
When we got married many years ago we had poor teaching from our then priest who told my husband in the matrimonial bed everything is permissible. I feel such anger when I think of that. Because of that my husband chooses to believe that to this day. It’s very hurtful
@@sheylamercado9801I'm mestizo , I assume you are / Hispana same but different word I preferred more appropriate terminology. So it seems this ignorant priest told your husband in front of you his wife, sexualized actions in marriage are permissible? Morally permissible no, that is obviously false. Catholic philosophy and theology practically do not allow sexual evils. Such as the atheist hedonist "Open marriage" or something morally reprehensible disgusting I've read online when protestant were speaking of "pegging" which is when usually partner place plastic penis on their groin and penetrate their partner, same sex or opposite sex, this here is something Which Is same to transgenderism in practice and logical evil, those evil humans men and women who do this sexualized action are certainly condemned as with any sexual sin, this is what a kink is, same with homosexual abusing same sex boy or girl, the sexual gratification is to abuse the persons dignity and comfort, and. That's fundamentally sexual gratification for this evil action that only perverse people committed , protestants as I've read were speaking this on some page I found while looking for morally permissible actions in Christianity spouses sexualized life wife husband. The woman argued against conservative man , she speaks her husband loves her and he feels joy with her, obviously we can force our way in morally and conclude this is not love this is abuse, as it's not the penis which is part of woman but only male, and so if biological man who's transgender woman with the same logic would action in these permissible evils, and do abuse unto his wife this isnt easily forgivable. The consequences such as rape, abuse of children are there. When a rapist regrets , or a murderer regrets their sin. The forgiveness may be given, but the consequences of triumphing over sin is certainly 10,000% . Heterosexual fornication is I imagine lower on this list of evil but still not morally good as theving is obviously. Those protestant "Christians" hold to most definitely mindset of liberalism. And so demons have hold to their minds. These evil spirits have fooled stupid humans into believing rape is love, homosexuality is love, rapists believe it's love, and so these supposed Christians aren't very far from full complete darkness they exist in it already now if only they were incestual or worse. Id certainly suggest slapping your husband in the mouth if he suggests anal sex. God created the male penis for the female vagina that is by sexualized body in nature , a electrical plug 🔌 to electrical socket. To create more of what is blessing humans. You should love your husband sexually and he should restrain his body if you're ill. But laziness and sin aren't good neither. God bless keep praying for your marriage , husband, you. I should keep praying for my wife.
I heard a talk given by Fr. Ripperger and he discusses this in a sacramental way. The 2nd part of marriage is the marital act and when the couple is in the state of grace, they actually obtain grace through then2nd part of the Sacrament of marriage. In my opinion, this is exactly why the Church and her priests ought to give more education to couples. What did Sister Lucia say the final battle between God and Satan be? Marriage and Family. How efficacious would the pure and holy love of spouses be if we purified this area of anything that is preventing us from obtaining grace?!
Thank you Christine! This talk really helped me with a situation. Thank you for helping me grow in holiness. You are a direct answer to prayer. God bless you!
We are all called to Chasity. Thank you very much for this ❤
The best marriage advice we ever received came from a priest. We've been married to 38 yrs.
Thank you Christine for asking these questions. Thank you Fr. Chris for the truth.
This is great. You all are emphasizing the sacred nature and reality of the sexual act. As men and women we still deal with concupiscence in terms of the disorder and corruption of our senses and passions.
Great information on Church teaching in the Catholic marital chamber! Father Chris, you are brimming with light in this video, I don’t know why some priests are afraid to speak on such subjects with such accuracy and specificity!
Most of it is the opinion of theologians. There's no official church teaching on this except for St Alphonsus Liguori being named as the one we can trust on these matters.
@@nello_77 I have read some of St.Alphonsus’ writings pertaining to the marital act and from what I remember he would concur with Fr. Chris Alar. “No corruption” (basically what Fr. Chris said in NO 3rd parties, be they person or not, including but not limited to: other people, porn, vibrators/fake genitalia, cameras filming, etc).
@@nello_77 how can you simply ignore the extensive teaching on this subject called the theology of the body by St. JP2??
Thank you, Father Chris, you've helped me TREMENDOUSLY!!! We need more priests like you!!
When I got married 26 years ago, my then fiancé and myself had to go to marital classes if we wanted to be wed in the Catholic church, which we did. I never remember talking about this sort of thing. Why isn’t there any uniformity within the Catholic church and priests
There is uniformity, what happens is that there are many priests who don't preach the fullness of the truth
@@maxtomate And lets be honest...there are good priests/biships, and there are bad priests/biships. Some of the bad ones think abortion is ok, gay marriage is ok, and the list goes on. You must do everything you can to find a priest/parish that stays true to the teaching of the Catholic church. There are many bad apples in the church, and when you find one, you have to stay away from them.
How can you say this out loud?????
@@marialozano5681 which part? Truth must always be spoken. As God says, what you whisper in the dark will be shouted from rooftops.
@@buckeye2246 I suppose you are right. Like any profession, there will be good, better, great, and not so good. I just always felt some professions should be held to a higher standard. And how much higher can you get than God.
I always said God 1st ,My Children2nd ,My Mom3rd & husband was last BUT Now 43Yr married Thanks be to God ,1still is God 2nd My Husband our Boys are grown Mom is R,I,P thank God for my wonderful patient, husband 🙏🏻
As a man I agree with everything he said and don’t see any issues with any of it.
Sharing this with our parish marriage prep team! Very well said and I like how Fr Chris showcases what we are saying “yes” to by saying “no” to disordered acts: it’s not just “follow the rules or you’ll be in trouble” but showing how a rightly ordered sexuality leads to the family as icon of the Trinity.
I would not put too much stock in what a celebate man thinks is disordered between a loving married couple.
@@pilot2502 Why do you believe this?
@@seraph045 I have been married 50 years. Taking advice sexual advice from a celebate man is absurd. Would seminary students take advice from me on life long celabicy. That would also be nutty. Use some common sense.
@@pilot2502It isn't the opinion of one man but the teaching of the Church
@@jaqian Show me the document
Thank you, Dr. Bacon. What has helped me in the past is to accept as a married man this teaching in place of understanding it in the big picture of the task as a husband: to die to my self and sacrifice for my wife. This means, in the marital act, to delay ejaculation in intercourse so as to provide for as many orgasms as my wife needs. Catholics should get to this level of discussion with marriage mentors so their love is transformed. God love you. Credit to Jerry Jacobs Jr and his marriage mentoring program for Catholic men.
To delay ejaculation so the wife can get as many orgams? How the heck do you do that??
A somewhat "difficult" subject to be certain , however, I'd submit that if.....if we thoughtfully think the issues through and even pray for clarity it soon becomes a fairly simple set of "rules" which are not rules but what God desires to provide what's needed to guide us on the path to heaven. I believe it's written on our hearts. These words come from a man with a high libido and has pretty much committed nearly any and all of the hetero sexual sins one can imagine. Praise God for His clarity and mercy. We are all works in progress and Almighty God knows this. HE will hold our hand as we, if committed and serious about amendment of life, and lead us to righteousness.
Thanks for this. I didn't know many of these things. Now I know, what is it about. You are a great man of God, dear Mr. Alar. ❤
Thank you! This is amazing. The Church needs more teachings like this.
I'm happy he is teaching us how to behave in marriage to earn heaven
. We all know what is good or bad in a sexual encounter in marriage. If the couple finds God, they will know to do the right thing!. Husbands are the most hard-headed, and this become a problem if not finished in divorce. They don't understand nor support their wives. We wives need to pray for them to understand and live a happy marriage.
I would have loved to put my husband first but soon after marriage I realized I married an alcoholic narcissist. He kept his drinking very well hidden until AFTER marriage. He also kept his narcissistic ways hidden. There was no way I would ever put my children second to a drunk, with anger issues. I was the only thing standing between them and a nut job.
Awesome session. Great information and clarifies so many questions. Thank you.
Fr. Chris is such a gift to the church!
Thank you for sharing on this with absolute clarity. Blessed in hearing this discussion.
Thank you for such a beautiful and clear explanation !
Father Chris you are such a blessing to all the church. Thank you for your dedication and service💜God bless you!
Thank you, Dr. Christine and Fr. Chris...❤
God bless you Fr for articulating this message properly , I know this is a very delicate topic. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
For anyone interested in this priest, Fr Alar, especially on this topic, please check out his talk on the theology of the body on Divine Mercy. There is plenty we aren't taught anymore, not even in my own country, but that channel really helps and can encourage many parishes to educate themselves and their parishioners. With God's help
The order is so important.
Recently married, only a week ago. Thank you so much for this
Just a quick comment for those who have been given bad instructions from a priest.
You have committed no sin by acting in accordance with the priestly instructions. Any culpability falls on the teacher, not the taught. Jesus makes this clear in the gospels.
That said, we cannot just go from priest to priest looking for one that will tell us what we want to hear. We do need to use our own intellect and discernment.
Where does Jesus say this in the gospels?
A couple of different places actually. Firstly I would point to the Jesus taking the Church leadership to task in no uncertain terms, calling them corrupt and "blind guides". Note that he doesn't do this with the people. Instead, he forgives them while also teaching them rightly.
Next I would look at Luke 12:42-28, especially where Jesus says that the one who did not know (read, properly taught) receives fewer stripes.
Finally I point to Jesus teaching about leading little one astray - better a millstone.....
All these point to the idea that the teacher has the heavier burden. The one taught has less culpability.
So important to hear these lessons. Demons are always trying to find a portal. Thank you for clarlarifying these issues. Porn has become one of the most prelivent addictions in AMERICA TODAY.
This priest has no idea what he is talking about. This is his opinion and an uneducated one at that. He makes marriage appear to be one giant occassion of sexual sin. If he were correct marriage would be an occassion of sin.
I was married in the 60s and I was told by my priest that anything goes between the marriage partners as long as they both consent. Obviously that priest was not taught properly and obviously I was not talk properly. This is all in the past God has forgiven and thank God I’m way out of that scenario now in my 70s.
My mom and dad were told anything goes back in the early 50's.
@@anbb5114before all the weird stuff was invented
They were told that because proper theology about copulation within marriage had not been developed. It was done under JPII
@@efosaokoro3343this is not true
The Church didn’t just discover the marital act with St John Paul! These things have been taught for all time
Not true. See St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Alphonsus Liguori
Thank you so much for this information! Finally Answers to questions I was too mortified to ask!!!
Thank you so much for talking about this topic snd being specific!
My wife was asking about this a couple of weeks ago. I'm 71, I still get aroused, but am unable to perform. We have been engaging in the mutual activity. Thank you Lord for letting me find this vid by chance, and thank you both Padre & Doc❤✝️
There are ways a woman can help (in a non-sinful way) a guy who is having difficulties
Can you elaborate!?
Thank you! What a great thing to be clear about these topics! God bless!
Very helpful. I wish i could tell this to my husband. For years i thought he just was not attracted to me or had low t or something and it hurt me a lot. I finally told him and he confessed to me that he has struggled with scrupulosity over sex for years. This probably comes from a total lack of education. He thought he was respecting me by giving me the most - for lack of a better word - polite sex you could imagine. We've made a big step, but he's still too uncomfortable to talk about it in detail...
I wish the Church would talk about these things more, because you have faithful Catholics who go the other direction of hurting their marriages through rigidity as well.
@EC-rd9ys I'm doing a follow-up show next month with Fr. Altier on this very topic! I just spoke with him today. I'm very excited to start clearing up these difficult to talk about issues! And thank you for reminding me about the scrupulosity as well. Too many have the opposite problem.
Catholic guilt over something that God designed for unity among spouses to be enjoyed. The CHurch has made marital sex evil and ruind many marriages
@@pilot2502what a stupid comment
This makes sense as the marriage is a sacrament and should be protected.
No one speaks about the older couple (post child bearing age) and also men with age related restrictions. Are these couples not able to perform satisfying acts to climax ? This is after raising the children and in the twilight of life?
@user-zl8oy5et2x correct. There are people whose age limits their pleasure. However... that does NOT allow you to go against Church teaching. The Church teaches you should "deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow HIM." I'm sorry you have these struggles, but it's a cross nonetheless.
@user-zl8oy5et2x p.s. there are NUMEROUS women who are forced to NEVER reach climax in their entire lives because few have vaginal orgasms and their husbands refuse or don't know how to stimulate them externally to get them there. Don't Guage acceptability on pleasure or not. We all have crosses.
St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Alphonsus Ligouri are even more stringent regarding acceptable behavior between spouses.
Yeah like I care what 2 unmarried gay men who lived hundreds of years ago think.
@@BillyJoeBob-hd9fmad hominem. Not a good look.
If you believe they correct it would be a sin to receive the sacrament of marriage. They view normal marital affection and foreplay as sinful. Marriage, according to them would be an occassion of sin. My lived experience tells me marriage grants a wide protection from sexual sin between spouses. (I think it needs to be said that neither of these two were married)
Appreciate the clear and direct teaching ❤
Please can everyone please pray that the effect of Grace of the flame of love of our immaculate heart ❤of Mary be spread all over humanity,so it may blind Satan 🙏💕🙏Fiat Voluntas tua sicut in coelo et in terra 🙏💞🙏
Best explanation of what is licit. Thank you for your willingness to explain!
LOVE your spouse!!
Excellent explanation. Thank you to both, Fr. Alar and Dr. Christine B.
M😮 husband gave me ptsd from all the times he tried to have anal sex with me. This was before I k ew about narcissism and that i was married to one. I almost went insane from not understanding why he would never listen to my no’s and always try, try, try, try, try while driving me insane. Then I learned I was married to a narc who has never cared about my feelings and only himself and was gaslighting me the whole marriage into thinking I was wrong and he was right. THANK GOD FOR ANNULMENTS BECAUSE SOME MARRIAGES WERE FOUNDED IN LIES AND PEOPLE THINKING THEY MARRIED SOMEONE NORMAL WHEN THEY ABSOLUTELY DID NOT!
Closeted homosexual narcs. They’re the enemy’s best tool to corrupt unsuspecting wives. Heard somewhere where 1 out of 10 individuals is a narc.
My ex-husband is a narcissist. The trauma is very,very real. Praying for your (and my) healing.
@@ElizabethBattleIt’s probably more traumatic than coming back from war. I pray that some day I can feel what it’s like to have a real husband who is actually on my side and cares about my feelings and doesn’t see me as an object. Some day God willing. It’s been Hell on Earth.
@@rf4537 I hear you, my friend. My narc ex was also into the occult.
I thought it was till death do you part?
"Put your spouse first" - I get it, in the sense of don't neglect your relationship and have balance. But always ranking spouse before kids feels like a violation of natural law.
Parents almost universally would risk themselves for their kids' sake. You even see this among animals, like with mother elephants. I recently saw a mother deer run toward danger to protect her fawn.
Just because an instinct is natural doesnt mean it's right, but we are talking about the most basic universal drive of people to put their offspring first. There really needs to be something clear and compeling to overcome that.
What you aren’t understanding is this has to do with a marriage with God as the guide. And saying spouses go first doesn’t mean to neglect your kids. It’s for many reason like for example parenting , takes two the father and mother you don’t run to your kids first for advice or discipline you go to your husband or wife. So Jesus tells us to love our wives just as he loved the church. What does this mean to sacrifice for her. And trust me you don’t want to use animals as an example because what you also aren’t saying is how animals sometimes kill their babies like cats.
Exactly what you said, we need to prioritize our spouse so that we don’t end up neglecting our marriage. And it does not mean that we neglect our kids. Of course we need to take care of them.
As a mother myself, it is easy to forget your husband’s needs because you are spent and tired taking care of your children who are obviously dependent on us. If we put our children above our spouse, the marriage can easily be neglected and it will fall apart. But if we know that our spouse is our priority over the kids, then no matter how exhausted we are with our busy lives, we will be intentional and make time and efforts for our marriage.
A great and loving marriage is the best gift that we can give to our children.
God first always, without God you wound not be.🙏💕🙏
This video was originally from July. I’ll post the following again while seeking guidance. Here it is:
A very informative talk, but there was a contradiction. Father Chris said, the “only ordered and proper sexual activity within marriage” is the male finishing inside the female. Dr. Bacon correctly adds, His seed must be placed always inside the female and nowhere else.
Father Chris then says the Church comes right out in Theology of the Body and teaches oral activity on the female “is allowed except as long as it’s within the total marital act” but on the male if it ends up finishing prior to the coitus that is not proper and a lot of people have no knowledge of this. This is a contradiction. How can there be any oral activity on the female if the “only ordered and proper sexual activity within marriage is the male finishing inside the female?” I hope Father Chris or Dr. Bacon will see this question and answer it. Also, “where” does the Church teach that oral or manual “stimulation” is “acceptable or not” on the male or on the female before the male finishes inside the female? Sadly, some priests are teaching oral and manual “stimulation” is acceptable while others say it is not. I say, do what the Catholic Church teaches but where is the answer on what the Church teaches???
I hope to get an answer this time.
@@JMar-b4d I have a client and don't want to forget to respond to this. Can you email me at Christine@BreakfastwithBacon.com to remind me?
@DrChristineBacon, can you please answer this for everyone? Thank you
@@DrChristineBacon can you please answer this for everyone? Thank you
I don't think oral sex is approved regardless
I agree that some specific details are even more confusing now, and it is a really difficult topic to find official Church teaching on. When and why can certain things be done and not others. I've heard a wide range of answers on what can be done or what should be- even "anything goes as long as the man finishes in the woman". It is a difficult topic to safely search on the internet and even more difficult to get clear authoritative Church doctrine
Now, how do I convince my husband?!?!
Im in the same boat.
Only the Holy Spirit can move his heart towards God's intention for holy marriage.
When i pray on it and let the Holy Trinity lead then they work on my husband. I can't as he thinks I'm trying to control him or manipulate him.
🙏🏼🕯🔥💗
The information, when clearly understood from the Bible, edifies the reader - including husbands 🙌
Show him this video. And others like it.
When I learned this I went to my young husband and told him I could not continue because I was told the truth that we had not been taught. He flipped. I told him it was going to be this way or he could go. We just celebrated 38 years of matrimony with 6 children and 8 grandchildren. I was blessed that he loved me. We did go around and around for years but I held my ground with God’s grace. It was rough but it is all worth it.
My husband has scares that run deep, father issues, trust in women issues which didn't really surface till after marriage.
So I've learnt that when i say things i need to be tactful and timing is important. I pray on it and usually the Holy Spirit brings something to his mind, where from another priest, man or video and we can then broach it.
He will hear the message from me and straight away think the negative, but from another source he contemplates.
He has been nudged a few times during Adoration 🤗
He is much better with these topics or order in marriage now, but i still need to tread carefully, praise be God 🙏🏼
He’s a brave priest talking like this ..
Very good article but difficult to pass on to any one. They must find it for themselves.
But I feel that it is written in the conscious that certain acts are evil whether married or not . And decent people would not consider them as normal
Says who? You?
This should be taught in marriage preparation! How would a couple know if this has never been discussed?
@@carolfontenot8227 I agree 100%!
I wish he would have touched more on female orgasm. It’s my understanding that because female orgasm has nothing to do with conception that as long as it happens within the context of the marital act that includes intercourse, it itself doesn’t have to happen as the result of intercourse. ???
Yes this is also my understanding from the video and from counseling with our priest. It also makes secular sense too, as many women report being unable to orgasm from penetration itself but are able to in other ways. Orgasm is part of union bonding, so I'm glad they are talking about this seriously, as the lack of education has led some wives to avoid sex out of hurt from not achieving orgasm the traditional way (and some husband's don't care or know enough about it to fix it).
I think he has a video on Theology of the body where he explains it. Just search Fr. Alar - Theology of the body
@@tomlyon5058 It doesn’t HAVE to happen at that moment, but it is the ideal that we should strive for… not seeking orgasm whatsoever way we want to simply because we can’t get it done properly, this attitude can lead down the slippery slope of ‘anything goes’ - when in reality it’s, do what is genuinely the loving thing to do to get her to climax along with you… and if you don’t finish together, and she still wants to finish - it’s not only ok to do that, but can be the loving and self sacrificial thing to do in that moment after you’ve already had yours…
Female orgasm usually does not occur for most women during intercourse alone and extra stimulation is needed either before or after. It does not have to happen at all for conception to take place, but any husband who loves his wife will do what he can to make certain that she achieves orgasm as well.
He knows nothing about female orgasim. He knows nothing about marital sex. Why would what he says matter? Because he has a roman collar? Try to learn from people that have more information about a subject than you. Not less.
"within the total marital act" I think is a very charitable provision... as many of these creative sexual activities are simply foreplay. I don't see the problem or the frustration among some. The final act should be unitive and procreative. Actually I think a great number of men will find Holy Mother Church a lot more fun-loving that their own wives in this teaching.
Yes this subject needs to be included in pre cana class
Thank you. God bless you both.
I think rather than get so caught up in the weeds of sexual mechanics the emphasis should be on intercourse for procreation and to increase the intimacy between the married couple. It's not just for your own personal pleasure.
We can go to St Paul where he says Everything is lawful but not everything is good. In other words, do certain sex acts treat the other person as an object for your pleasure or does the act show love of another in a genuine act and you have to be honest....
But there should be pleasure!!
Amen this is excellent thank for the discussion!
Thank you. I knew that all but need to hear it . Not thought enough. Thanks again , best talk by fr Cris
I’m 46 and I have never been chosen by anyone. My longest relationship was 4 months in my early 20s 🤷🏻♀️
@@Citrusfruits50 then God has greater plans for you. Give your heart completely over to his will.
@@DrChristineBacon funny cuz I get tired of men staring at me and telling me how pretty I am but doing NOTHING about it…compliments have become meaningless and empty
Look for a good catholic congresgation
@@Citrusfruits50Because they don't want to get sued or put in jail for merely looking your way
In the same position as you and am 61. I have sexual and physical needs and no one to help. It makes me feel physically sore.
To me I have God, my children then husband
Pornography is destructive
So is a Catholic priest talking about something he knows nothing about.
@@pilot2502Troll
Could youask Father why orthodox and Russiam Orthodox Catholics approve contraception for married couples? They have valid sacraments and were founded by the original 12 apostles. They are as "Catholic" as we are.
If it’s wrong to follow through with oral sex then it’s wrong to enact it. It does not seem to be worthily for the tongue, who receives the body and blood of our Lord, to be used in such a manner.
The Church teachings don't go that far, but obviously if you want to elevate yourself to that standard, more power to you.
As long as you brush your teeth after it's ok.
🙄
That's why I always receive communion in the hand instead of the tongue.
@@JesusRulez-l3j- You do realize that while you receive communion in the had the bits of the Eucharist fall to the floor and the rest of the congregation walks all over Jesus! Why do you think the Priest after communion uses Holy Water to clean the Chalice and Cerborum? That is why Communion in that hand is so destructive. Hope this helps!
Yes most men put their Jobs 1st
I was educated in a Catholic School … (1960’s) we were never taught sex education, the whole procreation event left out. Amusingly though we were taught (in last year of school aged around 15/16) mothercare how to look after a newborn, no pregnancy, birth, breast feeding mentioned , although girls in class had witnessed breastfeeding in their homes with much younger siblings. What was emphasised was the Hierarchy of the Family, Mother, Father, Child. In childbirth, should a decision to save the mother or the newborn be required the father would have to choose to save the child. Equally if the mother and father were in a situation where only one could survive the father would be obliged to give his life to save the Mother . Thank goodness education is different today although the hierarchy within the family is still the same in the Catholic world.
Should be included in the teachings of marriage preparation course definitely. Most of the local churches do not have all this information.
Beautiful, a gem❤
So much clarity! But what if the man had a vasectomy? Or wife a hysterectomy? And not for medical reasons (prior to having full knowledge of the faith, also confessed as wrong).
@littledaughter1 what about it? You must still be open to life and God's miraculous powers even if, in the natural, it doesn't make sense.
Man, I guess its just better at this point to stay single, what a mess we're in.
@@downfromkentuckeh go to whatever vocation God calls you and then learn and lead from there. There are crosses in EVERY vocation.
Hello, I am a female hoping to get married soon. I am studying to be a doctor. Is it wrong to practice NFP until I I get my Md? My only concern is that, I will be 32 by the time I become a Psychiatrist. I know that those 12 years of school are rigorous (working 80 hours a week, for minimum pay the last 4 years). I am scared that I am being by selfish by wanting to abstain temporarily, in every period cycle until I have my career set out, as I do not know how well I can handle child bearing during those academic years, with my bipolar and anxiety conditions. I do not know if its my scrupulosity speaking.
Hmmm, no comments here about how women break their vows by restraining sex to their husbands? How about that for a topic. I have not met a married couple that has has not humor me with those problems. A woman that excuses herself with headaches at the moment her man wishes intimacy is absurd and shameful. Most catholic woman has more sex before marriage than after married. Sad but true.
As a woman who gave endless sex to her husband I can say I wish I had never given him any. A man is like a leaky bottle that never fills!
So, after reading through all these comments, here's a curve ball: Sex after prostatectomy. Discuss.
Apparently my wife has determined that sex itself is restricted in this marriage.
@mr.e8432 haha! Funny! Not funny.
That's a sin too
It's been 5 years of give and take. I give, she takes. Then I'm made to feel guilty for wanting a relationship with my own wife. I'm all done.
@@mr.e8432Has she been to the doctor for that? There could be something messed up with her hormones. Hyposexuality is also a symptom of depression. I would go to a functional medicine doctor and probably therapy.
Trust me she wants it...buy she could have a prolapse or something health wise going on that is inhibiting her ability to get aroused. Have her get checked for this. It. could be as simple as physical therapy.
Sounds like the Catholics Church view of sex is it's only for procreation. So should there be no sex after menopause? I don't believe that because sex has the affect of reinforcing bonding. And if it's sex after menopause, what difference does it make difference does it make where the male semen ends up
My feelings exactly. Well said.
I’m a cradle Catholic but I don’t think most Priests understand the traditional role of husbands. Sadly I don’t think most husbands treat their wives with the same respect wives treat their husbands. And unless you have ever been a Mother don’t comment on a Child needing all the Mom’s focus energy and attention until age 3. Many Husbands feel ignored when they don’t have a clue what Women are going through ( and never will)
Well explained
Thank you
But what if you're past childbearing age?
@terez2136 God's laws don't change. You still need to be open to life. Consider Sarah, who was in her nineties, and Abraham. It's an act of faith that says my God is God of the impossible.
...if GOD❤ is first in one's heart, He guides us also to have the marriage-union He wishes for holiness in our souls. The issue is the material aspects of life (incl.carnality/sevualdisorded "wishes/desires"). Please dear JesusCHRIST♥️ HELP us to ASK You for HELP for everything in this life on Earth instead of making assumptions based on culture yraditions or ancestral false beliefs that do NOT reflect neither love nor respect for GOD's❤ system of life on Earth. We, in west, assume TOO much stuff and on top have far TOO MANY opinions about life (even to the point of judging God for the "way HOW" God MANAGES life = we, in west, are very lost in life)! Please HELP us dear Jesus♥️!!
A Husband must put his wife first, NO!
Stop right there.
END
God first, second and third. And to think I have a wife and two children! 😂
Not all priests are educated enough to speak on this subject.
@mrsandmom5947 just as not all laity are either. We must follow those who go speak Truth.
Priests should stay out of my bed room.
None of them are
@@pilot2502 You must be a protestant. All you guys do is protest TRUTH.
@@DrChristineBacon Catholic for 72 years, Happily married for 50 years, Active in marriage prep in our parish for 10 years. Try again?
Well done.
I asked a priest to give me and my wife counselling. He told us to go see a therapist. He was too busy.
@@joeylombaard1618 they truly are too busy. It's sad. Pray for more priests.
Can we get more of this?
@@DarkKnight-bi7cr yes. The full show is in my channel here. Watch it there.
@DrChristineBacon Is the wife able to help the husband stimulate her, as long as it ends in the act?
@anbb5114 she is able to be fully stimulated by the husband even to climax beforehand as long as it culminates in the marital act. I believe there is no problem in the wife helping him.
Yes she can, in the context of love making, reach climax by manual stimulation as vaginal cliax is rare in the act of intercourse. The male must ejaculate inside his wife and not elsewhere for the act to be moral. It is part of a Sacrament to fulfill the proper order, the act is ordered toward procreation even if the wife is naturally infertile due to age or following nfp is outside the fertile days of her cycle. This takes a little planning, e.g. urine strips to test fertility.
@@DrChristineBacon Can a vibrator be used? I cannot climax without one - possibly due to being sexually abused at 14 by a Dr. during a genital area exam. No memories until 40 years old, but it sure explained a lot.
@user-ow2pk9io4b I'm going to check with Fr. Altier on the 27th, when he's my guest.
Questions I asked 40 years ago at our engaged encounter and got no answers
@markthurlow6223 so sorry. Our priests were silent then. Today, we are changing them.
After our 4th child was born, my husband insisted in being sterilized. I was devastated, and heart broken. I found lots of information via The Church about why that is a mortal sin, but, no where could i find anything about how i should cope with it, once my husband had the surgery.
So tough:( I know husbands and wives who have gone through this and have attended Rachel’s Vinyard Catholic retreat and have received lots of healing from it. Prayers for you
I was going through RCIA when my spouse had their surgery. I wasn't confident enough to assert church teaching, especially when they are not catholic. But I wish we could have more. It's a beautiful thing to see large families at Mass. ❤
@@BibleBlondie thank you. I did not know Rachel's Vinyard did that!
That is probably something that you should discuss with your priest. He needs to confess this sin in the Sacrament of Confession.
Good to know if i ever get married again , thanks Fr Chris and Dr. Bacon
I’m amazed that people don’t just read the Catechism. There are few ‘restrictions’ within marital sexual relationships. One thing you both fail to mention at all, and it’s critical, is intentionality. Intention is everything. I implore people to go directly to the Church and not youtube for Catholic marital advice, because this kind of stuff can lead to excessive worry and even scrupulosity.
@InExcelsisDeo24 except that it's not clear, and few priests will explain with clarity. I do not believe the words "oral sex" or any of the things Fr. Chris talked about here are clearly written out in the catechism. I've looked. We need more learning that simply what we read. We bed it spoken, too.
My spouse never deserved to be first.
@nancyanngambino1053 and as sinners, we all deserve hell. Your spouse was not alone.
What if within the marriage you are past child bearing years a Priest once told me anything is ok except of course pornography ?
I did some things once with my ex husband to please him. It didn't improve our marriage. It made me feel very cheap.