Dealing With a Partner's Sexual History
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- Опубликовано: 16 июн 2024
- Jackie and Bobby tackle the difficult topic of one’s sexual history, or that of their potential husband or wife. A person’s sexual history is an obstacle the devil likes to use to toy with your head, making you think you’re not good enough for him or her because you didn’t wait for marriage and they did, or making you think he or she is not good enough for you because they didn’t wait. Pride and shame come in various forms when it comes to this issue, and it’s tough to wade through all that muck to get to a place of renewal. God makes all things new, though, so remember that through the sacrament of reconciliation we can all start our relationships with a clean slate.
“I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).
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I could use some prayers, being single as 20YO male in college has been tough on my anxiety and depression. Trying to remain faithful Catholic but it’s very tough. I pray for whomever my future wife is though
Prayers sent your way.
I’ll keep you in my prayers! I deal with anxiety and severe depression as well. It’s hard and can make you feel so hopeless at times.
Life is beautiful even through the pain.
God loves you and He has a plan for you. I hope you can see that through. Stay strong💛
Hockey Scouting Reports with Matt Levine I right there with you bro. I haven’t met any other dude my age that’s still waiting
Just remember that just because you don’t doesn’t mean you couldn’t if you wanted. If you want someone worth waiting for, then you will have to wait 😬
You can do it through Christ who will be your shield. Have faith, resist the devil and he will flee from you, dear brother in Christ.
" it's worth waiting ... and it's worth 're-waiting " . That's one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. Thanks for this guys
Anything to do with chastity and God will always be beautiful
God Bless, never lose hope in chastity
The key is not to have a colorful past to begin with. People that have a past of promiscuity that turn a new leaf are basically telling their current partner that they are denied what they gave to others for free. There is no easy way around this so avoid behavior that you will regret
@@kpas22105 exactly. Imagine someone trying to sell you a used car at a premium. You’ll probably tell them to shove it.
I am glad that you are both talking about this issue because as a young female converting to Catholicism, I often felt ashamed not to have waited until marriage. But now I met my Saviour and my Lord in Jesus Christ, I am ready to wait again and to do it well!
@Matt Blaise 👏🏽💗
@K H with that logic, you should also steer clear of any women who have an older brother, male twin, or who's mother had a blood transfusion😆 ps. microchimerism from intercourse has only been speculated about at this point: www.snopes.com/fact-check/women-retain-dna/
pps. your comment does not hurt me; I am a happily married woman. Your comment could sting other women... I see a lack of mercy. Mercy is essential in both spouses for a healthy marriage... peace..
@K H So if you met someone who was otherwise the perfect person, you'd reject them for mistakes they made in their past?
Aww God bless you in your conversion! Very motivating for me..as I restore my relationship with the Lord.
Beautiful! :)
“It is worth rewaiting!” I love it!!!!
That's just so wrong...
Loved that so much!
Illogical.
Recently went on a couple dates with a woman who told me that she had lost her virginity to a guy friend she had. I’m a virgin and saving myself until marriage so it kind of hurt to hear this. I would have been able to move past this but the dealbreaker first me was the fact that she is still currently friends with the guy. They never dated but did have sex and I could not get past that. She said that it would be really hard for her to end the friendship and I quickly realized that this is not something that I or whoever her future husband is should have to deal with.
Amen it’s not ok for her to be friends with Him. If she really cared and loved you, you wouldn’t even have to ask
Unless she keeps on bringing up the fact
Update: I ended things and she has been dating the guy for a year now
@@alltruth881 my respect man. I’ve been through the same stuff and I feel for you. My advice is don’t feel guilt at all, and the anxiety you feel is valid. In my situation, my intuition turned out to be right and I encourage you to just be in touch with that. It’s totally valid as a guy to feel discouraged if a woman doesn’t have the same history as us. In my situation I am glad that I ended things as I’ve seen that she had dated that guy since then. It is tough for us virgins but I am praying for you brother (22M virgin)
@@matthewlopez8521 you telling the truth.
The priest that prepared my husband and I for marriage said that we really needed to talk about our sexual past with each other. It wasn’t anything I wanted to know about bc I knew I would get so upset hearing about my husband with other girls. Yes, it was painful and hurtful, but it was also freeing and my love grew so much more for my husband. It’s still some if the best advice we received during our marriage prep.
Ally Greer Wow! A love grown stronger.... That's so wonderful to hear. God bless Ally!! 😊😊
How long have you been married?
Men's value goes up with more chicks he's nailed. Women's goes down with the more partners she's had.
Looking back, when my now-wife and I were dating and she revealed her entire past sexual relationship with me I was compassionate but also slightly disappointed because I had my heart set on meeting someone who had the same strength of conviction that I had. But, that was OK because I really loved this woman and felt that maybe God had something different in mind for me. Later, after being married for a few months, I noticed that she was exhibiting subconscious "shame" issues around things related to sex. She had confessed her sexual sins years ago and felt genuinely forgiven, but still had some unresolved distortions of sex that were directly influenced by her previous experience and it caused our sexual relationship to be strained and filled with confusion and conflict. What I'm saying is that while confession is crucial, sometimes it's necessary to seek counseling or therapy to help uncover unknown areas that may still be affected by past mistakes. Don't be afraid to get extra help if you need it. Getting therapy (both individually and as a couple) was a game-changer for us.
Amen brother! What type of therapy are you referring to by the way? Pre Marriage counseling or something else? Thank you!
Im was in the same boat as you are.Met my wife at a mutual friends house. She had just come out of an abusive relationship in which she was forced to do things and threatened. It ended maybe a year before we met. She hadn't dated since the break up at which time she was 17. She started dating the guy when 15 she was 18 when I met her..Well I fell head over heals for this girl despite her past relationship.
It was a tough roe to hoe for the first couple months lots of crying and talking and holding each other. We talked for hours sometimes. I was probably told about things that perhaps I shouldn't have been told about,then again it seemed to bring us closer. We were married within 8 months of meeting, I was 21 she just turned 19. All my friends had bets that because of how fast we got married they bet she was knocked up. Our first born was born a little over 2 yrs later.
Been together now 51 yrs.
You need therapy bro, you found out about her sordid past and thought she was a good investment. And now you pay the price for it!
In other words she's not over her ex bro. Her ex might be better than you in bed. She's reminiscing her acts with her ex inside her swallowing his hydrolics etc. She just doesn't see it with you bro. She's just ashamed to admit it. And you're in denial bro. That's the price you pay for lowering your standards lol. Good luck enjoying life in denial and minf**kery lol 😂😂
@@chadcadsonvii5258This is the sad truth.
Wow. This video came RIGHT when I needed it to. Thank you Lord for easing my soul through the words of this couple!
If this couple, especially this woman EASED your soul, you might want to consider that the best you can do is to be EXTREMELY thankful that someone would want to spend the rest of their life with you. I'm not saying to throw your life away with anyone. But if you DO find a good person, you need to realize WHERE you can from, and what you've done. Sin is SIN. While God may forgive us, it isn't as if the person you are marrying is God is he? I didn't think so.
Treat them right, treat them like majesty, treat them with all of the sexual affection you possibly can, and then some, and if you did in fact choose a right mate, I can PROMISE you that your love and affection will be given right back to you, twice over. But the woman in this video is NOT the picture of what I'm talking about. Regardless, I wish you well and the man you find as well also. If he has been with someone else also, I would definitely take that situation to your pastor and let him examine the man for you.
If not, thank God that there is a man out there who has held themselves for marriage.. FOR YOU... and give yourself every day to the love you two share and to God.
This is the advantage of being extremely introverted in your youth. You don't have any relationship history.
😁😁😁
#IncelLife 😛
Except when you like to talk and are very handsome. 😂😂😂
Extroverted person here, don't have relationship history. There is something else here at hand.
@@AmalijaDreality You're right. At the age of 5 years I accidentally ran into the edge of a door frame and the consequent dent in my skull has made me socially retarded ever since. :P
I have never been in a relationship and I have prayed for seven years for a good and virtuous woman, still nothing. The more time passes the harder it is on me. I hope my prayers will be answered one day.
Laura Beltran Thank you for your advice I greatly appreciate it. God bless.
Hi, I am also single and would like to be married. Do you know the 54 day rosary novena?
Quit being such an introvert. Go beat the streets, stores, church, whatever......Find a good woman, bro!
Keep praying! God loves you, be pacient and he will reward you. ❤️❤️
At least you have more time than women do 😒
You both are so amazing! Back in my day, there was no such thing as a chastity card. It was the end of the sexual revolution, the late '70s, when I was a teen. Almost no one waited. There was no fear of AIDS and dying from sex. But I was blessed to have a mother who taught me that when you truly love a man, sex is a beautiful expression of that love. It's not a sport! You have to be MATURE and patient enough to wait for the right person.
Well... Even though there are chastity cards and chastity rings now, people are more flippant and casual than ever before about sex. I don't know how it was back in the '70s, but nowadays sexual intercourse is like a handshake. There are even apps which facilitate "casual hookups" - that is, strangers who meet for the first time for the express and sole purpose of having sex with each other, and then never to see each other again. In other words, whoredom is no longer limited to professional prostitutes because a great portion, if not majority, of the U.S. population have become whores, both male and female. Cards and rings have no holding power over the heart - isn't that clearly demonstrated by alarming prevalence of divorce and infidelity?
@@wistfulwaif8813Sad but true. But there are definitely more virgin males out there than females, about one in four by the age of 25. So there's a disproportionate amount of shagging going on between the top percentile of men and a large portion of women.
You did well. Congratulations
I love the Picture of The Virgin Mary..❤️❤️(Behind you)
Our Heavenly Mother, The Love Of my Life ❤️
Is prayer to saints/Mary biblical?
The issue of Catholics praying to saints is one that is full of confusion. It is the official position of the Roman Catholic Church that Catholics do not pray TO saints or Mary, but rather that Catholics can ask saints or Mary to pray FOR them. The official position of the Roman Catholic Church is that asking saints for their prayers is no different than asking someone here on earth to pray for us. However, the practice of many Catholics diverges from official Roman Catholic teaching. Many Catholics do in fact pray directly to saints and/or Mary, asking them for help - instead of asking the saints and/or Mary to intercede with God for help. Whatever the case, whether a saint or Mary is being prayed to, or asked to pray, neither practice has any biblical basis.
The Bible nowhere instructs believers in Christ to pray to anyone other than God. The Bible nowhere encourages, or even mentions, believers asking individuals in heaven for their prayers. Why, then, do many Catholics pray to Mary and/or the saints, or request their prayers? Catholics view Mary and the saints as "intercessors" before God. They believe that a saint, who is glorified in Heaven, has more "direct access" to God than we do. Therefore, if a saint delivers a prayer to God, it is more effective than us praying to God directly. This concept is blatantly unbiblical.Hebrews 4:16 tells us that we, believers here on earth, can "approach the throne of grace with confidence."
First Timothy 2:5 declares, "For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus." There is no one else that can mediate with God for us. If Jesus is the ONLY mediator, that indicates Mary and the saints cannot be mediators. They cannot mediate our prayer requests to God. Further, the Bible tells us that Jesus Christ Himself is interceding for us before the Father: "Therefore He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He always lives to intercede for them" (Hebrews 7:25). With Jesus Himself interceding for us, why would we need Mary or the saints to intercede for us? Whom would God listen to more closely than His Son? Romans 8:26-27 describes the Holy Spirit interceding for us. With the 2nd and 3rd members of the Trinity already interceding for us before the Father in heaven, what possible need could there be to have Mary or the saints interceding for us?
Catholics argue that praying to Mary and the saints is no different than asking someone here on earth to pray for us. Let us examine that claim. (1) The Apostle Paul asks other Christians to pray for him inEphesians 6:19. Many Scriptures describe believers praying for one another (2 Corinthians 1:11; Ephesians 1:16;Philippians 1:19; 2 Timothy 1:3). The Bible nowhere mentions anyone asking for someone in heaven to pray for him. The Bible nowhere describes anyone in heaven praying for anyone on earth. (2) The Bible gives absolutely no indication that Mary or the saints can hear our prayers. Mary and the saints are not omniscient. Even glorified in heaven, they are still finite beings with limitations. How could they possibly hear the prayers of millions of people? Whenever the Bible mentions praying to or speaking with the dead, it is in the context of sorcery, witchcraft, necromancy, and divination-activities the Bible strongly condemns (Leviticus 20:27; Deuteronomy 18:10-13). In the one instance when a "saint" is spoken to, Samuel in 1 Samuel 28:7-19, Samuel is not exactly happy to be disturbed. It is clear that praying to Mary or the saints is completely different from asking someone here on earth to pray for us. One has a strong biblical basis; the other has no biblical basis whatsoever.
God does not answer prayers based on who is praying. God answers prayers based on whether they are asked according to His will (1 John 5:14-15). There is absolutely no basis or need to pray to anyone other than God alone. There is no basis for asking those who are in heaven to pray for us. Only God can hear our prayers. Only God can answer our prayers. No one in heaven has any greater access to God's throne than we do through prayer (Hebrews 4:16).
@@whyyouneedmyname2434 Amen...Ex Roman Catholic and now a Born Again Christian!!
@@peterrajendran4612 God bless you.
@@whyyouneedmyname2434 God Bless you too brother❣️
@@peterrajendran4612 Take heed of the following: the RFID microchip is the mark of the beast. It will be soon mandated worldwide under the guise of a digital identity/vaccine. Under any circumstance, do not take it in your right hand or forehead for it is the mark of the beast. If you take it, you instantly seal your fate to the like of fire without posibility of repentance. Also, all aliens are demons, and governments worldwide are working hand in hand with them to usher in the big deception, the coming of the alien invasion which is nothing more than a demonic invasion with fallen angel technology (flying saucers etc). All aliens (demons/fallen angels) run at the name of Jesus and when you plead and call the blood of Jesus. In Luke 10:18 Jesus said, "I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven". Barack Obama translates, both in Hebrew and Greek (the languages of the Old and New Testament), as "lightning from heights/heaven". He is the coming antichrist, the man of sin and pope Francis is the false prophet of the book of Revelation that will perform false signs and miracles. The rapture is very near and Jesus's coming is very close.
God bless you for reading all of this.
“You loved me enough that you would allow me to ask you questions” needed to hear that. Recently lost a friendship because they were annoyed by how often I reached out and how many questions I asked out of anxiety and insecurity. I felt like it was all my fault. But my long term friends and I always have patience and accept and comfort each other. I shouldn’t be afraid to ask about what bothers me.
Thank you for putting yourselves out there to help others. We appreciate you, Bobby and Jackie. God bless you and your family.
I totally agree with you guys!
I live that situation in which I'm the one who thinks that my boyfriend is going to compare me and that he should have waited for marriage, etc. It is so overwhelming but I'm finally letting it go. I started thinking: "If God forgives us all, why don't we forgive ourselves and others?"
Thanks for this video, now I have a lot of new weapons to calm myself and wait without desperation.
Send you my love and prayers from Mexico ❤
I know I've said this before, but I wish I had people like ya'll to minister to me when I was in my late teens back in the late eighties!
I'm super grateful to have them here as a 17 year old :)
Clare Nicke Same here. 100%. God has literally caught me as I was falling. Everyone on Asencion is so blessed.
This is such an important topic, I'm glad you guys did this video. It can be a little bit uncomfortable to talk about your past or to hear a partner's past when you are being chase. Healing and prayer is crucial in moving forward from your sexual past.
This is EVERYTHING I needed to be reminded of! Thank y’all! Love y’all! Praise God for his merciful heart and abundant love!
Thanks, guys. You bring me hope again. I'm still healing my shame and sometimes it's really hard. Thanks for this topic and for this video. God bless you.
Thank you for this video. I am a single parent and had children outside of marriage. I'm 41 and I want to marry and I am a recent convert. I really hope that it isn't too late. Please pray for my healing and my vocation God bless.
I'll be 38, been a Christian for 9 years; been abstainant for 9 years too. My former life is a vague memory. Healing takes time, much longer than we think. It's not about it being too late, it's never too late. But after 9 years of living alone do I really want a man in my house? I've got the whole bed to myself - its great!
🙏🙏
Ha ha ha! Who would be stup!d enough to settle for a used up single mom with damage and high miles?
Why should aan settle for an old used up single mom like you? You have no real value to offer a man. The best thing a woman can give to a man is her youth.
Thank you for sharing, it's soo helpful to know the importance of humility and healing from past in order to grow a healthy relationship.
God bless your good works and bless your marriage Amen.
Thank you for posting this. It was much needed.
I LOVE this! You guys are amazing. Thank you for sharing yourselves with us. God bless you! ❤
Thank you for sharing your experiences with this topic. I am sure it wasn't easy discussing these very intimate details of your relationship. I find this video helpful in my own life with the daily crosses I carry. God bless!
"Rewaitng"... wow! what a blessed way to think about how to start over. Thank you guys for opening up this conversation. God bless you!
My husband and I didn't wait and on our wedding night we got home and as I was anticipating a wonderful evening he said " do you want to open our presents?" It was very surreal......no I want to be your present. It hit me in a tough place even though I laughed it off in the moment. Wouldn't it be nice for you to be the best gift on your wedding day. I still love him immensely and we are married for almost 15 years and have 3 children. It's just something I've always wondered what that would have been like.
Thank you guys so much for making this video. It's exactly what I needed to hear! ♥
This makes my heart warm. You guys are amazing in every sense of the word !
This is beautiful! Thank you for sharing! This has been on my mind...I hv learned so much about, love, forgiveness, acceptance...confession..and renewal in God’s Grace...🙏❤️😊✝️
💐
(Second comment) 😊
Like how he said it’s worth re-waiting! So true!
I'm really thankful for all your vids, but this one came just in the right time.
I’ve noticed that a lot of the comments are focused on wanting to marry someone who is a virgin but again remember that we as Catholics believe in the renewed heart after reconciliation and to prefer a virgin is denying or rejecting that restoration that comes with God’s love and penance for us. We should change this phrase to looking for those who are chaste and have chaste hearts instead as it only wipes out the people like Bobby who have done things they regret and may have kept them in fear as if they can ‘never change’. Just a thought
Love your point. Mary Magdalene is a great example.
Amen!
Sarah Kaiser it's a wonderful thought. More than wonderful actually it's life itself. The Truth is there but sometimes it takes a person (like yourself) to open it up and explain the meaning so clearly and yet so simply. Coming from a culture that frowns upon this deeply really does examplify the "rejection of God restorative love". Thank you for sharing your thoughts 😊
Sarah Kaiser great point!
Sarah Kaiser , I'm not sure why I'm adding my two cents, but I agree with what you are saying, however I did not end up with a girl years ago (though I liked her and her me) specifically for her boy past. I envisioned that if the bed was easy for her then, what's not to say she'd default much in the same way during any spiritual droughts that eventually greets all marriages...
This help me so much! I had been dealing with this bad feeling that I don't deserve a Godly man. As a 21 y.o catholic girl this can be hard. I feel ashamed for what I did and now hearing this, I'm literally crying because is some God reply! Thank you so much.
K H YOU need to get lost! What is wrong with you?!?! You’re incorrect views don’t need to be plastered all over this comment section! Get lost!
@47 47 I respect your opinion. Just to remember that people make mistakes. I know not any man could accept me for what I did. But if I truly repent and ask God for forgivness nothing can be impossible. Humans love is complicated but God love is beautiful my friend. How the video say " it's worth waiting ... and it's worth 're-waiting ". If you don't believe that that's okay. Anyway thank you for your comment and point of view.
@47 47 God also demands forgiveness of those that repent and that we do not puff ourselves up with pride because of our own righteousness. If you do not see the Publican and the Pharisee reflected in you and this young woman you really need to spend a lot more time in prayer, for the sake of your immortal soul.
It's not about forgiveness. Of course God will forgive you. It's just sad that you ruined your oxytocine levels in your brain and now you will never bound 100% to your man if you ever find one. And the more promiscious you have been and the less you will bound. That's the biology. I am already sad about your next husband.
Andrea , don't let those frustrated people discourage you ! God forgave you and He will take care of you and help you to find a genuine Christian that will accept you with your past and love you with all his heart !
Thank you guys for making this video, God worked in my life yet again. I’ve been having problems with my girlfriend and I think this shews light on the answers on how to deal with it. God bless you guys!
This Bobby is waiting for Love patiently,too.Blessed by God forever.
Promiscuity kills marriage and its rampant in today's over sexualized society, hopefully our kids learn from our mistakes. God's design is the best path towards a long and happy marriage without regrets.
Indeed. I had to break off my engagement because my exes past was comprised of many one night stands that were far too much of a cross to bare. I’m not perfect either, but just the thought that he gave it out that easily to so many people was beyond disgusting to me.
It’s about sharing values too.
@@misselle6939Well played. And that kind of guy likely was/is in the top percentile of men, so he was only ever going to commit to you in marriage in title only, but never in action.
I think we need to be more candid about the topic and call it for what it is. The issue largely surrounds the idea that the mate with more sexual experience is going to compare/contrast the one who has less or even no sexual experience prior. A lot of that is rooted in the culture. Women are told that a man who is a virgin or has little sexual experience is an undesirable who doesn’t cut the mustard. Likewise, men are told that their worth and measure of masculinity is in their sexual conquest.
It’s an unwritten rule, as society would have it, that premarital sex and/or promiscuity is a required prerequisite to be seen as worthy & eligible to participate in dating, relationships, and ultimately marriage. Deep down everyone knows it hence why people fall into peer pressure to be promiscuous and lose their virginity as quickly as possible.
Furthermore, this is a dynamic even with the church itself hence why we have the issues we do. Here’s what I see happening in the church. I think that the idea of experience is even glorified on a subtle level in the church. A lot of people, as quite as kept, have this idea that of a person hasn’t led a wild lifestyle in the past & is a virgin or perhaps tried to stay on the straight and narrow them that means they have nothing to contribute to the Christian Church. They’re looked at by former sinners as do gooders who haven’t “lived” yet.
On top of that, there are those who still condemn themselves for their past transgressions & project their jealousy & shame onto those who may have led a more godly life hence a disconnect between children of God. Likewise, those who led a more godly life will feel judged by that other believer and may even feel insecure as if they “missed out” on so called “real life” despite never initially having an issue with their godly walk.
I think that in the grand scheme of things we definitely need to be candid about this topic within the church to get to the root issues. Men need to know that sleeping with a bunch of women doesn’t make them more of a man. Women need to know this too because women are given double messages.
On one hand, women are told that they should want a man that will treat them right but at the same time are told that a real man is someone who acts like a player. This is why a lot of young men try to act cool and even lie about their sexual history. They’re doing it to appeal to the women to meet the “prerequisite.” Why do you think, for example, we have young men who act like thugs & glorify drug dealers? It’s not just about the money. It’s about access to women.
I think that the church, when truly confronting the culture, has a chance to defeat the culture and glorify God this way. For men in the church, we need to emphasize that serving God is cool and not just a mere chore to do. It should be fun and cool to serve God and to be bold in doing so. Stand on that!
I’m not sure I entirely agree because I just dumped my fiancé because he slept around way too much before we met. I am a female and he is a male. Maybe I’ll reconsider his marriage proposal if I go out and get plowed by 20 strangers as well. Christian or not, I think remaining single in todays age is looking more and more attractive.
Thank you for doing this and working to heal my heart and others. I am entering the Catholic dating sphere again at 31 and need to say what Bobby said, to remind oneself that God has forgiven me. I'm worth redemption, mercy, and God's love.
So happy God has blessed you both with the ability to be your most complete, human, and unedited selves in front of your Christian brothers and sisters and in front of the world when just being natural is so desperately needed right now. :)
It’s the best if both people either are virgins or not. Causes much trouble and pain. Great you two worked it out!!
Very true. It's likely better to not mix the two.
“Prayer guys.. God make all things new” It’s a power
Randomly saw this video.. and for sure.. can say its worth it..u both r saying your hearts out.
Thank you.
I desperately needed this video now! God is merciful! Thank you Jesus!
You are a precious couple! Absolutely adorable! Wow! What a subject to tackle! Very well done! I'm Catholic! Thank you! God Bless You Both!
I wished l waited! I looked for Love in all the wrong places!
I am now looking to God because all this is almost over. I think! Yes! I need to forgive myself! Amen
This is so important to talk about. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Talk about it, if they love you enough, they’ll be open with you. If they don’t, they will hide things, and you don’t want to be with someone like that.
I totally agree about needing half the time of the relationship to heal afterwards because I was in a four year one I thought I’d never recover from but at almost two years I feel truly healed it’s crazy
Thank you for making this video. I’ve met this really sweet Christian guy and he tried, but struggled and fell for the trick of the devil. And I’m trying to think through it currently and realize that everything is made new through Christ. I don’t need to be upset with him, but upset with the devil and the flesh.
"God can make our oxytocin new"- yes!!!!! I needed this ❤️🧡💛💚💙
Thank you for sharing your life. It takes a lot of courage and open up your about your life experiences. Thank you and God bless.
i struggle so much with this. as someone who has waited, having to get past my boyfriend not waiting before me feels so incredibly unfair, it feels like i’m giving something i can’t get in return and it’s extremely frustrating, so bad it even made me wanna lose mine to someone just to get “even” but those are intrusive thoughts and i know it’s totally wrong but it really is a huge problem. it just made me upset that i understood the concept of waiting out of respect and he couldn’t, even though he’s waiting now.
Leave. You have every right to. I used to feel this way in my first relationship, and I gave in and I’ve regretted it since. You deserve to get what you waited for.
That’s horrible…
Lol. So touching. Keep it up both
I was in the same boat. I have a past as well but nothing comparable to what his was comprised of. It ultimately broke our relationship down until we broke up. It was for the best.
@@misselle6939 Im really sorry, I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone. We broke up too. He ended up telling me I was "too innocent" so he didn't think I'd ever measure up to the things he did with all his past partners and that he'd be unsatisfied and was scared he'd cheat on me.... never felt so belittled in my entire life. I left him that night, never looking back.
2 schools of thought sex was not created to be sexual, it was created for intimacy between a man and woman, that's why a lost term often used in the past was a woman giving you her most intimate embrace, it is shared intimacy not just sex, that shared experience must always remain between the two of you, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom that's what makes it sacred, sadly in today's world that has been lost
I dread this topic, thanks for helping cover it. Gives me anxiety just thinking about it. My imagination kinda fills in the blanks I dont know with my partners history, and Im sure its worse than what it is.
The only thing we can do is pray!
Feelings aren’t facts and sometimes it’s not as bad as u might think
You should ask and get it out there, otherwise you are living in a lie to cover for your partner so you don't have to face the truth. If your intuition is telling you something is wrong, it's likely because it's true.
I was in my freshman year of college when I lost my virginity to the one I thought I'd marry. After him, I went on a downward spiral and made more mistakes. My previous partner was emotionally abusive if I didn't commit to sex so I was in a dark place. I thank you both for this video. I pray God forgives me for my sins. Heres to re-waiting!
Jesus loves you, and will always walk with you
He does forgive you! Take on the grave he's gifted you with, and give that to yourself!
Grace*
Please remind women and the next generation of women to value purity. To wait for the one in marriage to commit to such sacred act, and not do something you think you'd marry and end up failing and being disappointed, losing something precious you can never regain.
You have a witchcraft playlist on you channel.
This has definitely helped me in understanding, I was taught abstinence and within my new relationship he’s been with many partners before me, and u are right it is pride and the devil, the words were exactly how I felt, it made it understandable
Maybe, but also he could simply not be right for you. If you're unequally yoked, it might be better to wait for a man who did not have as many past partners.
Thank you for sharing as I have been battling this devil too.
Thank you for the amazing videos, I needed to hear this. Keep up the great work, God bless 😏👍
"if I knew jacking was coming I would have stayed in my room"...... I want someone like that
Needed this right now thanks guys.
God bless you both, I so needed this video. Thank you!
Awesome message. Awesome. Just awesome. This is what the world needs to hear..
Awesome video. I would love it if you make a video of "re-waiting"
Very insightful.. thank you! God bless you both and your family!
Waiting is easy if you fill your life with good things. I have my faith, Church, and interests. If the right man comes along (which would be welcomed) great, if not, I'm not going to worry about it. Life has plenty to keep me busy; besides I'm busy rebuilding after much loss anyhow.
Life goes on, single or coupled. I'm open to what will be and stay as joyful as possible.
Finally, at my age ... I know better than to expect perfection (especially since I'm not). Non-negotiables: honesty, and sincerity. I don't think that's asking too much.
P.S. Even though no one wants to make mistakes, I've learned mistakes can be the best catalysts for new growth and insights. I'll take a flawed man that's learned from his past any day over a "perfect" man without compassion for a person's journey.
Scars, healing, and new growth brings beauty that can't be obtained if you're just sitting on the sidelines.
Thank you for your comment; I felt ashamed but I believe that I learned from those past experiences. I am stronger now in my faith.
Peggy Lyons That's a beautiful perspective. Your trust in our Lord is admirable. Thank you for sharing your thoughts 😊
You say: "Scars, healing, and new growth brings beauty that can't be obtained if you're just sitting on the sidelines."
But according to that statement, a virgin would forever pale in comparison to a reformed harlot in terms of beauty, since that reformed harlot is full of scars which have supposedly healed and regrown whereas the virgin remains unmarred because she has guarded herself faithfully even if that meant "staying on the sidelines" at times so as not to risk temptation.
This women has such a big heart.
How right these two are. Do not try to have a relationship with someone who has not dealt with their past. Let them go gently. A person needs to heal before they can be a spouse.
100%. The bible says that we need to be equally yoked. It’s too much unnecessary work to marry someone with a different past. Rather just move on.
You two rock as always. Thankyou and Godbless
It is very important to remain faithful to your husband and wife if we want to have a family or home which has got abundances of love, peace and joy. That is the basic things that Catholic Christians always emphasize. Love you brothers from India (North East States) 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳
Thank you for this video 🕊
Thank you for talking about this 💕
Keep up the good work, my brother and sister, God Good
THANK YOU FOR THIS TOPIC! I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT I WORRIED WITH MY PAST BOYFRIEND.
CAN SOMEONE TALK TO ALL of the singles who waited and did not marry and are trying to accept they may never marry? As a 61 year old woman it is hard to see how to accept this. I hope someone reads this and can speak to us singles on this.
Maristell, I would encourage you to check out the Spiritual Friendship blog (spiritualfriendship.org/) It originally targeted LGBT folks who were wanting to live in accord with the Church's teaching (ie celibacy for life) but they've attracted alot of singles who will likely not marry. Their question and struggle is the same, can I be happy without getting married and having sex? The answer is yes and this is because real happiness comes from Jesus not from a spouse. He can use a spouse to bring happiness but He can use others as well.
"But seek first the kingdom [of God] and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides". Matthew 6,33. God is everything that you need in your life.
@@gabriel.antony3197 This is one of the most pluperfectly stupid statements I have ever read.
I think it's a shame that you did not acknowledge that a Christian's preference to marry someone who has not had sex outside marriage does not always come from a place of condemnation, insecurity, pride an inability to forgive, feeling hurt etc.
I have waited and continue to wait until marriage and desire to marry a Catholic man who has done likewise because I've understood sex to have the potential to be unifying and an expression of love, commitment and intimacy. I still think that no matter someone's sexual past, sex can still have the potential to be an expression of love and intimacy. However, when someone choses to take it outside marriage then I think it loses its ability to symbolise and express unity and commitment. Unity and commitment in marriage have become increasingly important to me as I have grown to appreciate and not just accept the Church's teaching on marriage.
Nothing wrong with that and agreed.
I have no partner. But this topic is something that has been weighing on my mind. So I tried to search for videos regarding how much should a spouse know about ones sexual history. And how much is too much? I know that if one lived according to the word of God this conversation would not even occur.
I just wonder where the line is on how open to be. I would think there is a line at some point?
I'm on board with being fully honest 100%
But I also think that some things could be best forgotten. Unless you are asked a direct question about something. Never lie. But surely some details can be unsaid and that's what I wish I knew more about.
Oh the consequences of sin 😔
P.s. i am unfamiliar with your channel, but I'm glad my search brought me to you.
I'm glad to hear you are both saved! I guess I'll meet you in heaven someday 😉
Anyways thank you for being so incredibly open and honest with all of us it very amazing of you to open up so, and it is very helpful to hear this from someone who understands.
Jackie, I want to add a comment to your end note about Red Flags. I appreciate your warning given your perspective on this issue. I wish Bobby had also shared what a red flag would have looked like from his perspective. I think it's lovely, Jackie, that one of your responses to Bobby through this journey was "God has forgiven you, you need to forgive yourself." That was a very beautiful way to respond to someone in his situation (a Green Flag, if you will).
What are some red flags that Bobby could have looked out for, though? Particularly with a partner who had saved his/herself for marriage, practiced his/her Faith, and might be disappointed.
Hmm they just covered pride in this video but I see some prideful comments down here... remember not to look down on those who did not wait. There can be many reasons for this. Promiscuity is common after abuse for example. Be kind💗 John 15 : 12
..it's a psychological reaction to cope with the forced loss of dignity.. it's called minimization, where a person will act out the sexual "abuse" again in order to regain control of something that was taken, by making it not such a big deal. It's pretty messed up.. and you're a good soul to recognize this.
@@BindingTheYoke thank you for the information. Yes, I was thinking of what you described... I've unfortunately seen it happen too. I was also thinking of all other forms of abuse... any type of abuse can cause a young person to seek out love/validation from others in an unhealthy way... abuse is a terrible thing!
Everyday Catholic very true it all depends upon the disposition and temperament of the person involved. Even if it's not abuse though and just a childhood/young adult mistake where they were trying to find their way without any good counsel but the world's and by grace corrected their error. And if someone who is a Virgin by God's grace was to discredit them as unworthy of their love for lack of bodily purity, well, their love is worthless. It's as good as calling them a leper!
@@BindingTheYoke agreed!!
Everyday Catholic Back in my twenties I was as promiscuous as all get-out. The party never ended. Sex, drugs, rock n roll; gallons of booze..Men have always been my weakness..😔😬I do thank you for your compassion; Everyday Catholic...I’m divorced now; was married to a man for 25 years who had an anger management problem (I had a TON of luggage, too!!) Today in my late 50s I lead a CELIBATE life. I’ve confessed to the sin of fornication. I wish I could go back and change it; I cannot. I love my ex husband. We had fabulous times together; we have a son(30). We are in contact. I believe in the indissoluble bond of marriage; not interested in dating (NOOOO!!!😖😂) -for me there’s only one man in my life. It was all part of my journey, you know? Made me what I am today. God bless you for your kindness and letting me vent...
It's a difficult place to be as a survivor of sexual childhood abuse and sexual assault at 36. Not choosing to even attempt a relationship till after age 50. Being single all this time has been a journey through mountains and valleys. I am working on taking down all the walls I built up to protect myself. I do cry out to God at times, that I haven't found a good Christian man yet, it's a hard wait at times, waiting on God's Will, His plan and not mine.
Love this,thank you ❤️
Great insight! Thanks n God bless u 3!🙂🙏
Amen! Thank you for sharing.
Great video!
This content is gold.
I would just offer the point that once a person confesses their sin, the devil no longer has any access to it either
God works in mysterious algorithms. Thank you both, as a revert this year... just wow. God Bless.
Does Bobby still keep in touch with that ex in person or on social media? If so, how do you handle that, Jackie? If he doesn't, what would you think or feel about such a situation?
Thank you to both 🙏❤️
I'm ready to wait and heal myself!
I needed this video
Its not always pride. At times it come from a sense of justice. The fact that people love to sin. Not everyone is insecure enough to think they will be compared. Its not always arrogance, its just not fair that the person who didnt bother to obey God gets rewarded and does not experiment the consecuences. I knew someone that made a mistake before marriage and even though God told him that she was his wife to be they struggled for years in their marriage. But to say that if the person is ok with someones past then that means they are the right one is also not ok, it should be God's will.
You guyz are osem,
Yea it's true, god makes everything new.
I was in love with this most beautiful woman, the woman I thought I won't ever feel a thing. Then I find our about her past, it was not easy. But then Its believe, true exist of patience. Eventually I fell in for her again. M glad. Prayed a lot n just as u said god mks everything new.
5:05 Graces galore and God will provide it is also about rediscovering each other with God as the Center. ❤️
Thank you for your video, I really need help on this topic, it's so painful... Can't find any resource in French, nobody talks about it in Christianity, you're the first that I know.
I don't know how to get rid of this pain, it's so hurtful... I don't know how to heal, I tried praying, fasting and forgiving but it's still there, it still makes me cry, I can't stop thinking about it almost everyday... Please does someone have any advice ?
God bless you
God makes all things new❤
Thanks for the video, but I don't think it's just the fears, insecurities, and pride. I have heard of the non-virgin, even among Christian, Godly couples, having involuntary memories come up while he is having sex with his wife. While he is doing the deed with his wife, he remembers, albeit involuntarily, sexual intercourse with another woman! Is that really something that the virginal spouse can cope with?? She's given everything to her husband, and he's remembering sex with another woman while he is having sex with his wife! I would like to ask Jackie and Bobby: How did you cope with this problem and keep it from destroying the wife?
very sad and awry. I experienced it. I can't enjoy sex with my husband because I always think when we have sex he will remember the woman in his past.
I really love my husband, but until now I have not been able to overcome that feeling. Please help me
@@iarmybts Have you talked to your husband about it? What did he say?
Why did you marry him if you couldn't overcome that feeling?
@@wistfulwaif8813 I talked about it with my husband, but he said it was his past that he couldn't change. he says what happened before we met shouldn't be a problem for both of us. he didn't say it before we got married because he knew I was jealous and most likely only wanted to marry a virgin. he did apologize to me for lying to me, but he said he didn't want to apologize about his past because it was a part of him that made him who he is. he said he couldn't understand and it didn't make sense to him why it should be a problem when we didn't know each other at that time.
he did a one night stand with a lot of women and he also lived in the same house with his girlfriend for a year and that house is the house we live together now, it makes me crazy because I imagine a lot of things they do in this house. I am very sad, disappointed and angry with myself because I can't just act normal about his past, my brain keeps telling me that I don't need to be angry with this reality but my heart and my feelings are hurt. he said he couldn't do anything to help me as the past can never be changed. in the end he said that only I alone can overcome that feeling, whereas I myself don't know how.
every time we have sex I always imagine how the way he touches me is the same as how he touched women in his past and that image makes me hurt even more and it is difficult to enjoy sex with him because for me sex is about feelings not just physical touch. I can only enjoy sex if someone can touch my feelings but I haven't been able to get it from him because of my thoughts about his past. I thought when he had sex with me he would remember that woman accidentally.
he said at this time he only loved me and I was the only one in his mind but somehow my feelings didn't get better even though he kept saying that. I keep blaming myself for still having difficulty accepting his past, I think other people can accept things like that but why can't I?
he also deleted all the photos on his cellphone and deleted his social media so that I wouldn't be angry anymore because I accidentally saw a photo of his ex-girlfriend on his cellphone even though their relationship had ended for years, he said he accidentally kept it, but it doesn't make sense to me, I mean even after 4 more years of breaking up?
@@iarmybts I am so sorry you have to go through all of that. I really feel for what you're going through. Even though I'm single at the moment, I understand how you feel because I've thought about it and came to the same conclusion that you did: I really don't think I can ever be okay with the idea that my husband has had sexual relations with anyone but me. But I disagree with your husband. Even studies have shown that every sexual experience we've ever had (even sexual experiences other than full intercourse) stay in our memories - not just our conscious memories, but also our bodily memory. That's what happened to that man I was referencing at the top of this thread. Even though his conscious mind wanted to focus on the present experience with his wife, his body remembered a similar past experience he had with a girlfriend. I hear these stories over and over again - clearly, they're not uncommon. I think the reason many non-virgins don't think that it's a big deal is because they've already given themselves away to so many people that it's no longer sacred and "set apart" for them.
It's an especially grievous offense when the non-virgin spouse minimizes the pain that the virgin spouse feels because that shows the non-virgin doesn't appreciate and empathize with the fact that the virgin has given him something priceless which he is unable to reciprocate. And It's even worse when the non-virgin lies because it shows he doesn't respect the virgin's values and doesn't care enough about her best interests to come clean with her from the beginning and allow her to make her decisions based on the truth. He basically entered the marriage under false pretenses, and that's the worst kind of fraud anyone can commit. Furthermore, a very natural response to his premarital deception would be to doubt his current assurances. Just my own interpretation but if he would lie to get you to marry him, what assurance do you have that he's really telling the truth when he says you're the only one he's ever thought of since he married you? Memories of past sexual liaisons don't magically disappear just because you got married. Doubt about present honesty would be an understandable and natural reaction to his past deceit. Has he proven himself trustworthy and remorseful by proving he has drastically changed - not just in a few superficial, inconsequential little compromises like deleting the picture in his phone, but big things that matter to you, like moving out of that house? If he's only willing to make little changes that are convenient to him, then it doesn't seem like he's understanding the severe pain he caused you and the disrespect he's shown you by not lying to you about something which changes your life forever for the worse.
Honestly, I believe that if someone truly appreciates an undeserved gift, his genuine gratitude for that unmerited, priceless gift would move him to sorrow and remorse for not being worthy of that gift, and after that, he would be moved toward compensation and repentance - very much like the way of true remorse, confession, and repentance in convicted sinners who turn to Jesus. In other words, if the non-virgin truly understands how precious and unmerited the gift of his virgin bride's whole, intact self is (because she's able to give all of herself to him in ways that he is unable to do for her), then he would feel deep remorse for having squandered on strangers what should have been her prize for marrying him and investing/giving all of herself to him.
As things stand now, it's far from being an even exchange, especially since he added insult to injury by lying since the beginning. That's basically a mentality that says it's not important how you will feel when you find out the truth later, which you inevitably will; the only important thing is that he gets what he wants by any means necessary, whether by hook or by crook. All of this is just my personal opinion and interpretation based on what you told me, but if a person lies to his spouse about something which he knew was important to her and and he knew that she would likely change her mind about him and/or her relationship with him if she ever discovered the truth, that communicates to me he didn't really care very much about her wellbeing so long as it interfered with what he wanted.
I'm sorry you were deceived on top of being wounded. I really hope that God will convict your husband and give him a radical change of heart, so that he'll be so crushed by the weight of what he's done to you that he'll beg for your forgiveness, compensate you to the best of his ability for all the ways in which he has wronged you, and make every change in his life going forward that is necessary in order to ease your heart, including, hopefully, moving out of that house.
Do you pray to the God of the Bible?
It’s hard for a man because he obviously wants to be the best she’s ever had but must come to the realisation that may not be the case, if the woman truly loves him back then she will always say “you’re the best I’ve ever had” “you’re the biggest” etc and that’s great cos the man wants to hear that but it’s hard to think that the girl you’re with and love with all your heart used to go and sleep around regularly and not care who with.
My girlfriend now of nearly 2 years is very open with me about her past and I with her however we both hate it, we were both very promiscuous prior to meeting one another. I also understand why she was this way, she used to seek validation through sex and promiscuity. It’s hard for me to deal with because it creeps up on me sometimes. Especially when I’m not with her.
I do love her and she’s amazing but her past does haunt me on occasion.
@Patrick Bateman Actually, studies have shown that men who have premarital sex with people other than his spouse have a greater tendency to have extramarital sex after they are married. The more sex partners men have had prior to marriage, the greater the tendency for them to stray after marriage. Also, the younger a man was when he was first sexually initiated, the greater his tendency to stray after marriage. Therefore, both men and women are adversely affected by premarital sex across the board. Women who have had premarital sex have more difficulty forming deep bonds with her husband, and are less satisfied when she marries. Men who have had premarital sex are more likely to stray sexually after marriage than those who have never had sex prior to marriage. And finally, for both men and women, the severity of these adverse effects have a direct correlation with the number of premarital partners they have had.
Just stopped a relationship with a girl who I really liked, I found out she had done it more than five times with no regret and I didn’t feel comfortable with that because I’m a virgin saving myself for marriage.
Good job! You DESERVE a pure woman
Wow!
Thank you 👑🙏🏻
"I would've baked a cake" 😂
Indeed it takes time to heal memories and the body has memory too.... God makes all things new💛💚❤️ good video. My re-waiting has been great... I never planned to wait on the first place, and I must be weird but I am not ashamed of my experience. However, now that I know what chastity is, I am happy living this way; it is kind of freeing 👌
I know this sounds cliche, but I could really use some prayers. As someone whose anger issues and pride wrestled with God for quite a while, I suffer the consequences of addiction to mastrubation. After my intellectual pursuit for God, I reconverted to Catholicism on Palm Sunday. Don't underestimate the power of prayer. These words are coming from someone who believed in the minimal power of prayers. Thank you! Don't forget Revelation 22:14!
Brother Eugen I will pray for you. May God sustain you through the tremendous struggle in wrestling this addiction which takes so much away from life and experiencing the Joy of each day. As the Lord keeps you close to the Cross may you find that the graces that come forth from this suffering renew and restore your mind and spirit and body. The human heart is complex and magnificent, this tangle of brambles requires some precision work and periodic maintainence but we have the greatest Surgeon and Doctor in the universe administering to us. And my brother, God is so proud of you and pleased with you. I am thankful for your courage to share this with us.
I also would like to request a prayer in the same regard. Thanks Eugen 😊
@@dumboxthomas6758 your kind words made my day even more. Thank you for your support! I'll return the favour and pray for you.
Even the Spirit interseeds for the (future) saints according to the will of God (Romans 8:27).
I don't believe in all situations it's a matter of pride. When it comes to this question for me its a matter of trust. If they understand and have improved their values, that's great, but if they think it actually wasn't that bad and only don't suggest sleeping around because I wouldn't agree, that's where's theres a problem.
Content Corrector I’m sorry but I don’t agree with you. If Christ had loved and chosen only those you were “at His level”, we would have been all put aside 😅 I don’t mean that you have to look for a practicing sinner. But you could miss out on someone who God changed by His Grace and who could grow and make you grow too 😊
@@jurgitamataciunaite2437 I agree with you Jurgita :)
It sounds like there would be a fundamental difference between you two then. If that's your sticking point, it sounds like this relationship would probably never work out!