I had to learn this concept. Some women don't ask men for any kind of help and when they offer it, it feels like a huge shock. Dating a person who helps when they can or tries to be there for you when they can is a beautiful thing, but sometimes women miss the mark if they never experienced that before and may sabotage the relationship.
Hey, I'd love to get a male perspective on this but I was with a guy for less than a month, and he basically paid for everything when we went out the few times we did, and I really did appreciate it. I drove 2 hours to him and he covered that too. Anyway, I noticed some things he said were very manipulative and emotionally abusive so I had to leave otherwise there's no way he would have respected me. I didn't want to leave, it was an on the spot decision. We spoke about it, in the end the ball was in his court and he decided to reaffirm the breakup. It was clearly because of his ego. Almost 50 days no contact, I'm still trying to let go, I'm working out doing things that I love, reading, meeting friends etc but some days like today I wake up anxious because I miss him so much. I miss how he was protective of me, how I felt he was there for me, he was supportive and any little achievements, he would be so proud of me, but he made me feel so uneasy at times that it was impossible to ignore. I can't say on here why he made me feel so uneasy as it will be too obvious but he made me feel that if we were married, he would have divorced me the minute I say or do something unintentional to hurt him. I felt like I was watching my every move to ensure I don't 'misbehave' and it was exhausting and this was a relationship that lasted less than a month.
manipulation and emotional abuse are not loving actions so thankfully it was just a month and not a lifetime. You may be missing your idea of him not the facts of him.
That uneasy feeling is your spirit talking girl. Listen to it. My daddy told me you should never feel uneasy around your man. Move on baby cakes. You’ve been upset longer than y’all even dated.
You dodged a bullet. This guy may be a narcissist. They will give you an excessive amount of attention and money ( the love bombing statge). Read up on this personality disorder, I can assure you that you will be singing 'Glory, Hallelujah! " you have been saved for a possible lifetime of misery and regret
I invested time. And when it came to money, I invested that too. To the point where I was willing to help her financially each month when she ran into some financial challenges last summer, but she didn't want that. She only wanted to move into my house. I felt my willingness to help her financially was a huge commitment on my part. Fast forward to now, and she's dealing with bigger financial challenges than last year. Offered to help again. The relationship is over now, but I can't help but wonder why she could only see commitment in cohabitation, but not in the financial help I was offering.
Because, possession is 9/10ths of the Law. Once they move in, you can't get them out. You'd have to go to court, and she'd probably hook you with a baby, too. You did good. money only.
The trick is. I’m a full time mom. So I barely have time.. I really don’t care to date but when I do come across guys that want me, they act mad about not being able to see me. But the time they mean, is coming late over or not a date.. (not saying I don’t get dates… just don’t have the time to go consistently) or I’m not attracted to the ones that ask for dates🤦🏽♀️ so I wouldn’t care to make time if it’s not valued or worth it. So the time topic is tricky for me. How can I get a guy to understand hey I’m a mom, so you know what you sign up for, or will they feel a way that it’s always also on my time… how can they just be understanding? Will I know the difference from a genuine respectful guy or one that’s just trying to waste my time
Nobody is genuinely interested in moms with children. Only abusers are. They know moms are easy target. Mom 'll go out with any guy bcz she wanna feel "desired". Better focus on your child.
@@gerulyte11 that’s not true lol. Your perspective sounds like you hating… do you have kids? I see a lot of moms that get with great man.. I only got one child it’s never been a problem to attract good guys. I just don’t have time for a serious relationship.
@@gerulyte11 moms aren’t easy targets also. They just put together and a lot of guys want that. I got everything on my own and take care of myself. And who needs a guy to feel desired? Lol need some help. Or therapy😂 I see a lot of women without kids that got their head in the sand. Desperate for a man. If anything mothered do focus on their kid and don’t care or have time for a man while women without run around lonely needing someone..🤷🏽♀️
@@Mariekomax02 I have a child. I see a lot of moms with a "great guy" too. After a year or two a mask falls off and he's not that great anymore, he's abuser or cheater or alcoholic or p***ofile. I may sound like "hating", yes, I hate seeing women abused and broken again and again. Single moms are especially vulnerable. Again, better stay independent and safe and focus on your child/career/business. Your career don't wake up one morning and leave you because it found someone better ha ha.
hello. how can a man say they are in love with you, yet say we don't get along.?? 63 yr man. set in his ways. I stopped my relationship 15 yrs ago. and yet he still reaches out. I recently blocked his number. He hasn't become a man. yet did all those things,words and actions didn't match. thank you great content. longtime watcher
Quality time is big for me…I’d love to go out on dates as well as I’ve rarely had that. I would be the one suggesting and eager to plan.. smh..I look forward to real commitment…with no games ..no hidden families, no poly crap…etc
Sorry that happened but POV ive been through that a lot. Always losing because I’m a giver but I lost my apartment and became homeless.. people always treated me like I was beneath them.But anywhere I was I would cook and clean. I just know that my calling, calls me to be there to be a blessing from where I came from, where I been, where I’m going.. and share Jesus with them!!! My advice if you do something for anyone, here on out, just don’t expect anything back bc that can cause a negative feedback.
And, if you look back, I bet you had signs…there always are!!! You have to watch who you are giving all that to…don’t start off with your A game maybe!
I agree that the friend was jealous and wanted her friend single. Not your fault. Happened to me too. His friends warned him available to hangout and him having a woman made them feel like losers for not having one. Ultimately, if they let someone get in their ear, they’re not for you.
I think my views are too old fashioned for this day and time, but it’s safe IMO. At the beginning, I think everybody needs to keep the money they have in their pockets and do things that are free or basically free. Take time to talk and get to know each other; especially in groups of people. You get to observe how that person behaves in a crowd be it his friends, her friends, or mutual friends then eventually family. See if you can accept each other just the way you are. If there continues to be interest, and you go out to dinner, he might cover the meal and she can leave the tip. That way there can be no reason for “pay back”. To me, that’s team work, not 50/50. I don’t believe in 50/50 relationships. As the relationship progresses and you’re now contemplating marriage, now I believe the man should start helping the woman with some things if it’s something that she can’t handle. They’re not married yet and no one needs to feel used nor bought and paid for at any point.
You stay on point! Yes He’s (this special one to me) the most beautiful person I’ve ever met besides You. I say that with Respect lol but that is examples of what GOD INTENDED MAN BEING. And in Return and Automatically i am listening 🙏🏽❤️🎶🔥🩸👑 I can apply that to different things I’m dealing with…thank you but there’s always a big but. He has been there since high school. We always come back to one another he expressed yet he says we don’t need to get married bc us. He and I are before GOD. He’s from St Lucia, beautiful intelligent workaholic best father forever workaholic educated. But most of all what is beautiful is how He was raised. From Philly come back around but I’m always dodging Him.. finally after years He gets me I mess up bc I told him I only see you 1x a year for 15 minutes.. I be so mad I don’t wanna see Him at all .. now I’ve matured more.. and I’ve caught His eye again oh and a piece of vital info we were engaged no ring but understood and I messed up. Well He’s too stiff so He don’t give 2nd chances then he did and I mess up again…. Idk I believe it was totally wrong timing. He knows my entire life. He’s 2 years older than me. He’s the Father of Every Year very dedicated man. But now He expressed He wants more. I said okay well I wanna be your wife. Mind you we aren’t together now.. we’re just really good friends forever. Well now He’s telling me He don’t want to get married bc after me He got married someone else and they had an open relationship and He expects that from me but I told Him no. He’s hasn’t ever forced me. He’s so respectful! Always Hospitable. Now He’s telling me no.. so I said goodbye again for the 1000th time.
❤ Get the BEST piece of relationship advice I ever received for FREE! (and MORE) go to 👉 www.stephanspeaksshop.com
I had to learn this concept. Some women don't ask men for any kind of help and when they offer it, it feels like a huge shock. Dating a person who helps when they can or tries to be there for you when they can is a beautiful thing, but sometimes women miss the mark if they never experienced that before and may sabotage the relationship.
Hey, I'd love to get a male perspective on this but I was with a guy for less than a month, and he basically paid for everything when we went out the few times we did, and I really did appreciate it. I drove 2 hours to him and he covered that too. Anyway, I noticed some things he said were very manipulative and emotionally abusive so I had to leave otherwise there's no way he would have respected me. I didn't want to leave, it was an on the spot decision. We spoke about it, in the end the ball was in his court and he decided to reaffirm the breakup. It was clearly because of his ego. Almost 50 days no contact, I'm still trying to let go, I'm working out doing things that I love, reading, meeting friends etc but some days like today I wake up anxious because I miss him so much. I miss how he was protective of me, how I felt he was there for me, he was supportive and any little achievements, he would be so proud of me, but he made me feel so uneasy at times that it was impossible to ignore. I can't say on here why he made me feel so uneasy as it will be too obvious but he made me feel that if we were married, he would have divorced me the minute I say or do something unintentional to hurt him. I felt like I was watching my every move to ensure I don't 'misbehave' and it was exhausting and this was a relationship that lasted less than a month.
manipulation and emotional abuse are not loving actions so thankfully it was just a month and not a lifetime. You may be missing your idea of him not the facts of him.
That uneasy feeling is your spirit talking girl. Listen to it. My daddy told me you should never feel uneasy around your man. Move on baby cakes. You’ve been upset longer than y’all even dated.
You dodged a bullet. This guy may be a narcissist. They will give you an excessive amount of attention and money ( the love bombing statge). Read up on this personality disorder, I can assure you that you will be singing 'Glory, Hallelujah! " you have been saved for a possible lifetime of misery and regret
I invested time. And when it came to money, I invested that too. To the point where I was willing to help her financially each month when she ran into some financial challenges last summer, but she didn't want that. She only wanted to move into my house. I felt my willingness to help her financially was a huge commitment on my part. Fast forward to now, and she's dealing with bigger financial challenges than last year. Offered to help again. The relationship is over now, but I can't help but wonder why she could only see commitment in cohabitation, but not in the financial help I was offering.
Because, possession is 9/10ths of the Law. Once they move in, you can't get them out. You'd have to go to court, and she'd probably hook you with a baby, too.
You did good. money only.
The trick is. I’m a full time mom. So I barely have time.. I really don’t care to date but when I do come across guys that want me, they act mad about not being able to see me. But the time they mean, is coming late over or not a date.. (not saying I don’t get dates… just don’t have the time to go consistently) or I’m not attracted to the ones that ask for dates🤦🏽♀️ so I wouldn’t care to make time if it’s not valued or worth it. So the time topic is tricky for me. How can I get a guy to understand hey I’m a mom, so you know what you sign up for, or will they feel a way that it’s always also on my time… how can they just be understanding? Will I know the difference from a genuine respectful guy or one that’s just trying to waste my time
They understand u are a man! They want sex and they think u are a single
Mom that will not waste time, and just go do the deed!
Nobody is genuinely interested in moms with children. Only abusers are. They know moms are easy target. Mom 'll go out with any guy bcz she wanna feel "desired". Better focus on your child.
@@gerulyte11 that’s not true lol. Your perspective sounds like you hating… do you have kids? I see a lot of moms that get with great man.. I only got one child it’s never been a problem to attract good guys. I just don’t have time for a serious relationship.
@@gerulyte11 moms aren’t easy targets also. They just put together and a lot of guys want that. I got everything on my own and take care of myself. And who needs a guy to feel desired? Lol need some help. Or therapy😂 I see a lot of women without kids that got their head in the sand. Desperate for a man. If anything mothered do focus on their kid and don’t care or have time for a man while women without run around lonely needing someone..🤷🏽♀️
@@Mariekomax02 I have a child. I see a lot of moms with a "great guy" too. After a year or two a mask falls off and he's not that great anymore, he's abuser or cheater or alcoholic or p***ofile. I may sound like "hating", yes, I hate seeing women abused and broken again and again. Single moms are especially vulnerable. Again, better stay independent and safe and focus on your child/career/business. Your career don't wake up one morning and leave you because it found someone better ha ha.
TIME & MONEY, very precious & heartwarming showing caring & value - hail to the chosen queen 💃🏼
hello. how can a man say they are in love with you, yet say we don't get along.?? 63 yr man. set in his ways. I stopped my relationship 15 yrs ago. and yet he still reaches out. I recently blocked his number. He hasn't become a man. yet did all those things,words and actions didn't match. thank you great content. longtime watcher
Awesome!, always on point. I love this man's wisdom alot. God bless you and give you the woman of your dream. 🙏
Quality time is big for me…I’d love to go out on dates as well as I’ve rarely had that. I would be the one suggesting and eager to plan.. smh..I look forward to real commitment…with no games ..no hidden families, no poly crap…etc
I wasted time & money on a woman that didn't appreciate me. So, she dumped me cause a friend told her I wasn't for her.
Sorry that happened but POV ive been through that a lot. Always losing because I’m a giver but I lost my apartment and became homeless.. people always treated me like I was beneath them.But anywhere I was I would cook and clean. I just know that my calling, calls me to be there to be a blessing from where I came from, where I been, where I’m going.. and share Jesus with them!!! My advice if you do something for anyone, here on out, just don’t expect anything back bc that can cause a negative feedback.
Then she was not for you, a better woman for you is out there, don’t lose faith!
Her friend was definitely jealous and did not want her to end up with a good man.
And, if you look back, I bet you had signs…there always are!!! You have to watch who you are giving all that to…don’t start off with your A game maybe!
I agree that the friend was jealous and wanted her friend single. Not your fault. Happened to me too. His friends warned him available to hangout and him having a woman made them feel like losers for not having one. Ultimately, if they let someone get in their ear, they’re not for you.
Hmmmm can't wait 😁💜 where your heart is, is where your treasure will be also.
Time YES, without a doubt….Money 🤔been 4 months only been on 1date, he sad he living paycheck to paycheck
Mines didn't do that
.....Thanks !!! #StephanSpeaks!!!!🥰🥰🥰
So true!!
Understandable I know
True
Sooo I met this guy but i have too take my time
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Admore’
I think my views are too old fashioned for this day and time, but it’s safe IMO. At the beginning, I think everybody needs to keep the money they have in their pockets and do things that are free or basically free. Take time to talk and get to know each other; especially in groups of people. You get to observe how that person behaves in a crowd be it his friends, her friends, or mutual friends then eventually family.
See if you can accept each other just the way you are. If there continues to be interest, and you go out to dinner, he might cover the meal and she can leave the tip. That way there can be no reason for “pay back”. To me, that’s team work, not 50/50. I don’t believe in 50/50 relationships.
As the relationship progresses and you’re now contemplating marriage, now I believe the man should start helping the woman with some things if it’s something that she can’t handle. They’re not married yet and no one needs to feel used nor bought and paid for at any point.
You stay on point! Yes He’s (this special one to me) the most beautiful person I’ve ever met besides You. I say that with Respect lol but that is examples of what GOD INTENDED MAN BEING. And in Return and Automatically i am listening 🙏🏽❤️🎶🔥🩸👑 I can apply that to different things I’m dealing with…thank you but there’s always a big but. He has been there since high school. We always come back to one another he expressed yet he says we don’t need to get married bc us. He and I are before GOD. He’s from St Lucia, beautiful intelligent workaholic best father forever workaholic educated. But most of all what is beautiful is how He was raised. From Philly come back around but I’m always dodging Him.. finally after years He gets me I mess up bc I told him I only see you 1x a year for 15 minutes.. I be so mad I don’t wanna see Him at all .. now I’ve matured more.. and I’ve caught His eye again oh and a piece of vital info we were engaged no ring but understood and I messed up. Well He’s too stiff so He don’t give 2nd chances then he did and I mess up again…. Idk I believe it was totally wrong timing. He knows my entire life. He’s 2 years older than me. He’s the Father of Every Year very dedicated man. But now He expressed He wants more. I said okay well I wanna be your wife. Mind you we aren’t together now.. we’re just really good friends forever. Well now He’s telling me He don’t want to get married bc after me He got married someone else and they had an open relationship and He expects that from me but I told Him no. He’s hasn’t ever forced me. He’s so respectful! Always Hospitable. Now He’s telling me no.. so I said goodbye again for the 1000th time.