Just a thought, but why do women have to " grow, teach, take on a project?"🤔... It's so draining... We have children to raise... We don't want to align ourselves w children.... How can we respect that? I say this... Don't date if you aren't able to deliver in all areas.. on either side. Just don't. Find other productive ways to stay busy, active, healthy on your own. Too many settle for a project. Why? If his mama didn't raise him right . What makes a woman think she can? And why would she want to?
Not to be rude but men pursue significant relationships because it's the best position to be in to prove yourself as authentic as you claim to be. Noone understand themselves entirely alone(can't experience yourself from outside you) so you need another. More people you let in, the more separated you become. If women rejected this women, men are forced to keep seeking. Gotta take your blinders off to see
You have a good point. But sometimes the mama did all she could ,raised him as a Christian, taught him how to treat a woman ,and he gets information from outsiders such as other friends and relatives who he is influenced by and he turns out bad anyway. I'm a mom that is very disappointed in her son . I took him out of the big city of New Orleans when he was in 2nd grade and went to a very nice beach town to raise him and did all i could and he is not good to me or his wife . I'm devastated.
WE MAKE TIME FOR WHAT WE FEEL IS IMPORTANT TO US. IF YOU HAVEN'T MADE TIME FOR IT, IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T CONVINCED YOURSELF THAT IT'S IMPORTANT ENOUGH.
People go through life and experiences. It’s Human Nature. Everyone will at some point will have complicated relationship for a fact that it’s part of life. Why it takes work in a relationship. Nothing is permanent. So, at some point the relationship will be tested.
Yes and women are exactly the same way. We also need reassurance. We also become extremely fragile and MOST of the time we are the ones to get betrayed by a man. In the beginning it’s you’re the best thing that ever happened to them, the most amazing women ever, confident about how much they want you. Then as soon as they “get” you and you start to trust and believe them then everything changes and they completely turn the tables on you.
If you didn't do something to make him feel differently about you, then you have just begun to realize you're with a gaslighting, love-bombing, covert narcissist. Welcome to the party! Shoot... 😪😞
This is soooo true, I was talking to a friend of mine about this and he said that in a lot of guys' minds, once he's done all the "hard work" of pursuing a woman and he actually gets her, then he thinks he doesn't have to try so hard anymore, so all those wonderful things he used to do while pursuing you and at the beginning of the relationship, he no longer feels the need to do because he "got the girl" now. While women tend to do the opposite, where we don't make things easy at the beginning but then we pour everything we got into the actual relationship.
Absolutely especially when he didn’t expect to fall so fast … but don’t be FOOLED the moment you show that you are into him just as much he will stop trying as hard .. always keep that chase even when married
I disagree. But then again, maybe your right to a certain extent...because most people take people for granted...I don't. So I get that. But doing that is Very Toxic...especially if both parties come into it like that. It shouldn't be a problem for both parties to come together and share their love with each other...and also verbalize it...cause some people's love language are Words Of Affirmation. That's my Secondary 1. So I like to hear that from the people I love every now n then. But that's just me.
@@jayc5756 this is in fact reality for a lot of people .. our experiences are very different but similar at the same time .. I can only speak from my life
@AliSand the chase is never over with me because I keep them on their toes but even then .. I have realized a man must love you more than you love him for it to work .. if his level of love is at a 10 you gotta be at an 7-8.. never match them
@AliSand Well that means that you got the wrong guy then. So maybe that will wein out the right and wrong ones then. Cause The Right One For you Will Love & Appreciate All Of You Fully!
Spot on 100% men won't come out and tell you he's feeling insecure. When you know he's really into you (meaning he wants to spend time with you and talks of marriage) you know he's into you. However, the more he falls, he absolutely gets insecure and yes, little things can set him off. They might pull away due to this and it doesn't mean he's falling out of love but in his feelings about whatever is making him insecure. A lot of times it's a thought of "wait, am I good enough for her?" It could be anything that triggers it. Just don't force (chase him) let HIM figure it out but be there for him in the background. Make him know you're there for him whenever he needs you. Don't get an attitude. Don't chase. Don't pressure him. You'll know if a guy is into you but if you chase, it will make his insecurities fester and he will pull away more.
Dating is so draining. It’s easier and better just focusing on yourself. I did want to be in a relationship but now I don’t… I don’t even like to go on dates with men. I’ll flirt… I like flirting lol but beyond that? No.
@@CocoaBananas23 Same here. After all, we all know there is such a thing as the honeymoon phase of dating in which the man is amazing and treats you like a queen, and you're happy, and everything is going great. Then when he knows he's got you, it ALL GOES DOWNHILL. This is why so many women (myself included) have quit dating - and entering into a relationship - altogether. It's just too disappointing when the man stops putting in the effort and then you're left stuck in your emotions and feelings for him. I'm done with the pattern and mounting anxiety that comes along with having a man in my life. I'm flying solo from here on out and no more waiting for a man to go back to the way he was in the beginning to "get me."
Had one that was really into me, very lovey dovey and displaying everything you said, this was the most open ive been, even though it was kinda new, he was in, so i rolled with it. Connection felt strong, dates a few times a week, calls daily, etc. After one disagreement, that we settled, he started acting different and distant days later. Now all of a sudden he's busy and not answering calls or texts. he says a friend told him to slow down and date other ppl, which he did. Meanwhile the friend doesn't have anybody. It hasn't been the same since and now we no longer date. Outside influences should be cool to give advice, but not your ultimate decision makers vs what you actually feel.
@@vboyer71 agreed! 🙏🏽 no grown man should let anyone have that much influence over their life. I honestly think he got scared and used that as a cop out, but either way I'll never know. 🤷🏽♀️ and thanks!
I’m having to much to say on these videos, but here I go again. I’m a firm believer that if I know myself, which i’ve been learning more and more over years, and I am open and honest in my prayers about the kind of man I want, but more importantly knowing that GOD knows all about me and also knows the man I need, HE will make it happen. He created the universe, the earth, everything on it, and humans. I know that him bringing the man to me or me to him is a simple task. While I wait, in faith, doing my best and modifying my personality according to His will while waiting. HE’ll make it happen. The man won’t be perfect, but he’ll be perfect for me, and vise versa. We’ll need to watch each other for a while, as that is necessary. At that point, I don’t see the need to pursue anyone. If a man comes in my presence, he shows me that he is NOT the one if it’s like I have to pull hen’s teeth to activate him. Why should I, and why should he? If there’s nothing there, it’s just not there and don’t waste time wondering. Without faith in GOD, it goes back to grade school. Don’t chase males and don’t accept everyone chasing you. Just because he hits you doesn’t make him a person to be bothered with. When you two can play together and share, be friends, and find yourself looking for each other throughout the day, you’ll be good friends. Usually, he will come to your sandbox. Boys/men take advantage of girls as well as women. It blows their heads up. Carry yourself as a lady at all times. Don’t chase. Mutual is good. chasing is always a no.
That’s why when my current partner left me a message saying I was treating him like he’s thirsty I had to show up… I had to let him know I would never think him being consistent and venerable is thirsty…my intention is to show him by responding to what works
My husband of twenty two years have been unfaithful to me, I'm tired of pursuing him now am ready to divorce him.I've been following your videos thanks coz I come to realize that our love ended long time ago.
Before my husband was my husband he worked for me. There was attraction and I was praying about if he was the one God had for me and we danced around the issue and became really good friends. Then I kept thinking if he really likes me he would make a move. Well…. I knew he was the one God had for me and I proposed to him and he told me after we got married that he was so glad I did because he could not wrap his head around me being attracted to him and he would have never made a move out of respect for me and not wanting to ruin our friendship. I am glad I proposed and wake up every day Thanking God for my husband and Gods gift and guidance🥰
For men/women who have had their hearts broken, don’t take that to another woman/man. She/He can’t repair it. The wound may be there, but as one therapist I heard say, our wounds should be healed and scarred over. If you are steady wondering if the new person loves you, examine yourself honestly.
I think that comments is talking about the begining of a relationship. If a man is into you After he got you...he will Continue to pursue you, make the plans and make you a priority. He wont have to chase because you are into him too. There is a match. But when that man Starts pursuing(chasing) you and he is calling says sweet things and you Know he is interested, then weens off, he is no longer consistent like at the start....That's a yellow flag. He is not really into you.
This is why men need real male mentors and confidants...the reality is for all of his inner thoughts he needs to check them with one male whom he can be vulnerable with to trust with all of his inecurities, put them in check and gain the confidence he needs to continue moving forward with the woman he is pursuing. Because IF he's pursuing her and has these inner thoughts of vulnerability that alone says she's the right one or at least has been what he needs and is looking for. When he starts 2 2nd guess that and put pressures in her and the relationship b/c of his insecurities that's not healthy and why men need real mentors and confidants.
OMG 😒😒😒so much childish behavior and thinking it’s annoying, if “WE” cannot express ourselves to each other and see the difference from past relationships, go heal and then find me
The fact that these videos are necessary shows you how damaged we are as people. I don’t care anymore. I’m fine with my dogs and peace. Men can go kick rocks. #DogLadyLife 😜✌🏼
Girl same. Today I was just drained thinking about how he was pursuing me so hard, how much effort he put into our relationship. In the moment I gave him the same energy and showed my love and affection and support, boom, he is now entertaining other girl. Blessings from #CatLadyLife
I know my KING is very sensitive!! I'm willing to do whatever it takes for him to know I love him. I will never hurt him. I know people are in his ear, but God is in his heart. I believe he knows the love I feel is real. We have been through things together that have made us better for each other. God is intentional in everything he does. I know him better than I would have if we hadn't been through the things we went through. The whole video felt like it was made for me. It was confirmation of what I believed when it came to my baby, baby. I am the love that will keep him sheltered from the storm. Nothing or no one is going to stop God's plan. In his perfect timing.
@@JaZmine147 lol if he does, his loss!! I know my worth and how good of a woman I am. Trust me, if he doesn't do his part, he will be replaced in a couple of years!!! YUP!!
@@cynthiagomes2979 Amazing attitude!! So good to hear. I'm coming from a place where I supported MY king and afterwards he didn't want to be with me because I reminded him / represented of all the shit from the past. It was easier to move on to a new woman and be the end product somewhere else.
@Stephanspeaks I usually agree with much of the advice you share. This one is definitely questionable for me. What happened to a man being the leader? How are we as women supposed to meet him Half-way, If he is leading the charge? Should we reciprocate efforts when we are interested and / or in a relationship? Absolutely! Men need to feel loved and valued, just as women do. However, we were intentionally created differently. Why do people insist that we then act the same? At what point does a man actually then take leadership, if we are always meeting in the middle?
So for me, as I was, and what I said, in the beginning still stands. The person may just need to go over their notes. Yes! of course she is and desires royalty, because she knows she is, and believes he is. So he doesn't need to ask--but he can--AND JUST RECEIVE. ECCLESIASTES 3.1... HOPE IS BETTER THAN WORRY. THE VOICE...YES! SHE LISTENS. HAVE A MOST WONDERFUL DAY, AND ENJOY IT.
It seems women think in a similar fashion. Women want/need to know that the men they are involved with or about to get involved with have certain feelings for them bordering on love at least.
WOW! I have seen men ask women whom they are in love with if she loves him several times repeatedly. Who knew that they start feeling insecure and vulnerable when they are into to a lady. Great information.
This is the sad state we are in today. Insecure men and women plague this world. If they would find love in Christ first then this wouldn’t be an issue.
that's a very good point. but remember also me as a woman I am an example of Christ to the man in my life. to all men in my life. we need each other to build each other back up. we've all been hurt by Sin in this world. Christian and non-Christian, we are all affected by spiritual the Bible says that a woman needs to be loved and that a man needs to feel respected. and if we just start implementing what the Bible tells us about our roles as both men and women there could be some healing. it's true I walk with God is number one, but then we need to start respecting the men in our lives, and the men can try to love the women in their lives even if we don't want to. The reason we don't want to as we've all been so hurt. The sin in our life has hurt all of us. if a man lies to me because he is hiding his hurt I don't consider that lying. I forgive him. The Bible says if somebody sends against us we forgive them. that is healing to them. I have been sinned against. I am deeply hurt. My twin sister killed herself when we were twenty. I hurt every day over that. but I need to forgive her. and I also need to forgive other people and they hurt me. I've had people lie to me. but they are just covering up their hurt and I can see that. so I have mercy on them and I forgive them, they know they lied and I don't need to twist a knife into their wound and make everything worse. if we all do our part there can be healing
This may be one of the answers of what happened to my husband. Even though every day I did so much for him, that's not how he wanted to have me express it. I did love him but wasn't as expressive as he was and didn't stressed on it enough in the way he was looking for. He separated from me 6 weeks ago, probably because someone assured him of his greatness with words more than me. 😢
I never could say yet that I had a man that really wants to put forth effort and meet most of the necessary needs in a relationship. They always try to use, abuse, cheat and ignore me. # Been over it!!!!! , What book do you recommend ?
Yes thank you for your advice 😘 I trust God he will send the right man to me with love n respect God open me up to know who he is I'm going to continue working on myself to be a better woman God send my husband to me with open heart n eyes mindset let him lead me to father God bless coming in blessed going out 🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️
🌈Faith Cancels Out All Fear If you are a believer you must Know what the word of God saids I do 🙌 with what you are speaking But I'll talk about another reason why Men and women have this issue. Because you always express an essential ingredients in moving into Receiving a loving relationship its HEALING GID FIRST AND IS IT A REAL CONNECTION!!! PART 2 Tomorrow😍😀
Great GREAT point of outside influences! On at least on 4 separate occasions, their damaged, jealous girlfriends worked to break-up the burgeoning relationships. I never addressed it with them but I waited to see who they respected more, their girlfriends or me. I have no regrets 😌
If he’s questioning the love you have for him if you’re engaged ? Like my ex relationship was a serious rollercoaster. First time being engaged, planning a wedding and I didn’t feel that he was really wanting this for us. His mom was taking all the charge…
Stephan, could being in this vulnerable state make him so sensitive that he freaks out over something small and leaves? Was it too overwhelming to feel in love? Will he come back?
This is d best video ever and everything u said is facts, cus my bf is just everything u talked about cus he didn't know he will fall deeply for me and now his insecurity is way too much, so fragile and sooooo insensitive everything I do he must read meaning to it, especially him been American and me a Nigerian it a LDR but deep down I know he is d one, it rough sometyms and also challenging but he is d best I have ever had, he gives me peace of mind and I will choose him over and over again if it God's will
I read this book. I don't want to say who it is written by, it's a good book but I don't agree with everything that he wrote in it. 🤔. I like your view on this subject 👍❤️🙏
Thank you for sharing keep up the good work looking forward to seeing your VIDEO again so beautiful great job thank you so much I really appreciate it see you again so beautiful great job thank you
I am aligned w u today, I so needed to hear this video today, namaste, I feel good and know we are on our way to a healthy spiritual relationship, thank u
Yes, this man started very playful, then wasn't so playful anymore, but still wanted to see me and talk to me about his job, frustration, and so on... More sensitive
How do I help him with the grief of losing his mom? We knew each other 3 months when she passed suddenly the day before his birthday. He says she is all he had. Dad passed when he was 8 and has 2 grown daughters away in the army. He took such great care of his Momma while she was in the nursing home for over 4 years. He is very fragile and I'm not sure how to know if he will ever want more with me after this ultimate heartbreak. I'm sure he has become depressed. I would love to be his girl... how do I support his heart without the reciprocation and assurance that he ever will be up for a commitment with me.
Don't pressure him. Right now just be his friend .he is hurting .let him come to you ..just reciprocate when he reaches out ..this is a tender moment in his life.dont let it be about you. rt now its about him n wat he needs ..
Just trying to be prioritized over the house chores. I get the texts daily but if I am busy and so are you and the one day we have time you pick the house work instead of time with me …. Is that an indication or him taking on his responsibilities 🤷♀️
Good morning Stephan here is tonic for good health papaya use the hold Papaya wash the skin off good use whole papaya cut the papaya skin with the seeds put water into the blender grind everything together.pour into big jar; Now cut pineapple skin off put the skin into pot boil water on low gas when come to boil turn gas off and let it cool down then pour it into blender when cool down cut up pineapple and grind it into liquid mix the papaya together I am give you this to stay alive for you and yout Children wife many blessings to you and your Family.
What about what a man wants? Ain't gonna invest emotionally with a woman who shows 0 reciprocity. Being in a relationship is an exchange of value. If I do X with a woman and she doesn't reciprocate Y. I'd stop being emotionally available with that woman. Only a man who felt not good enough and insecure would fall for that trap. With that statement what you basically said is you want the man to lead but at the same time you want the power in the relationship (which is impossible). You aren't supposed to just take take and take. Reciprocity goes a long way
This is happening to me, he start sweet with me from beginning new he said you know what let be friends for now i said what in my head you start sweet with me now you said let's be friends oh my God am confuse but i like him please help me.
YES YES YES MR. Stephan was wonderful as usual I ALWAYS LOVE HIS BODY LANGUAGE AND PRESENTATION. HE DISPLAY CONFIDENCE AND HE OFFER WISDOM IN A RELAX MANNER WISDOM FALLS OFF HIS LIPS EVERY TIME MY ALMIGHTY CONTINUE TO BLESS US ALL. WE R JUST A WORK IN PROGRESS. MUCH LOVE TO MY SISTERS AND BROTHERS 2023
@@joydorsy3341 he has been giving relationship advice for over 10 years and has not been in a relationship. This has nothing to do with privacy, people who consider themselves relationship coaches are supposed to be in happy, successful relationships themselves genuis!🤦🏽♀️
@@blackcherry6877 Did ever cross ur GENIUS MIND EVERY ONE IS ENTITLE O THEIR OWN LIFE STYLE AND OPINIONS ADULTS DO NOT EXPLAIN THEIR DECISIONS IT IS PRIVATE SORRY "IF" STEPPED ON UR TOES HAVE A GOOD DAY 2023
@@joydorsy3341 typing in all caps doesn't make you look good. You're very emotional about a man you do not even know. I do not take relationship advice from men who are not in happy relationships themselves. Thats because I'm smart and you are not, you are emotionally unhinged. There are plenty of men on RUclips who are "married" and they show their wives and they give relationship advice. Now you have whatever day you want to have.
@@blackcherry6877excuse me, but where did you get this information that a person who call themselves relationship coaches HAVE to be in a relationship themselves (at every moment)? What class or book did you get that from? Thanks.
Communication ..have a discussion about what's needed from one another . Expectations etc Ask him how you can meet him halfway .. Or fully for that matter .. When you're all in tell him don't hold back .. Then make your decision based On His response .
😂🤣😂 Okay, SERIOUSLY. If I am reaching out to a man before he initiates contact with me, I am viewing him as 10,000% platonic... or we're in a full-blown relationship & I'm not second-guessing stupid shit like "how many times have I texted him in the last month, is it getting obsessive?"
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Two different species. Women will never understand men and men will never understand women. I’m over it and happy single, the best life 💃🏽🎼🎵🎤🎶
Seeking first the kingdom of God and he will let the real man find you not you find the man the Bible says the man that finds a wife finds a good thing stay focused woman of God on the lord he knows what s best the man that finds you has to be lead by God and I mean it truly love s the lord or he can not love you 💜🙏 action speak louder than words
Truth is men and women are so dysfunctional because of GODLESSNESS!!!! GOD is love, truth, peace, and sanity. If you want love, trust, respect from anyone, you MUST first have it for GOD, then yourself!!!! Real love is freedom, peace, positive energy. Love is NOT confining, controlling, chaotic, petty ---- or negative energy!!!!!! PRAY! TRUST GOD!! RENEW YOUR MIND and just be HONEST????? I just don't understand why this concept is so difficult for people. I you are honest and love someone JUST SAY IT!!!! If that person doesn't vibe same way LET 'EM GO!!!! GET OVER IT!!!! Save yourself grief and misery Be REAL with yourself; if you're not real with yourself, HOW are you gonna be real with anyone else???? GOD knows who you are; you should know who you are......
❤ Get the BEST piece of relationship advice I ever received for FREE! (and MORE) go to 👉 www.stephanspeaksshop.com
Just a thought, but why do women have to " grow, teach, take on a project?"🤔... It's so draining... We have children to raise... We don't want to align ourselves w children.... How can we respect that? I say this... Don't date if you aren't able to deliver in all areas.. on either side. Just don't. Find other productive ways to stay busy, active, healthy on your own. Too many settle for a project. Why? If his mama didn't raise him right . What makes a woman think she can? And why would she want to?
Not to be rude but men pursue significant relationships because it's the best position to be in to prove yourself as authentic as you claim to be. Noone understand themselves entirely alone(can't experience yourself from outside you) so you need another. More people you let in, the more separated you become. If women rejected this women, men are forced to keep seeking. Gotta take your blinders off to see
How is this comment at all related to the content presented in this video?
Absolutely true ❤
You have a good point. But sometimes the mama did all she could ,raised him as a Christian, taught him how to treat a woman ,and he gets information from outsiders such as other friends and relatives who he is influenced by and he turns out bad anyway. I'm a mom that is very disappointed in her son . I took him out of the big city of New Orleans when he was in 2nd grade and went to a very nice beach town to raise him and did all i could and he is not good to me or his wife . I'm devastated.
@@susanmoore6231 I'm so sorry.. you are absolutely correct. I like to think while there is breath there is hope. 🙏🕊️
WE MAKE TIME FOR WHAT WE FEEL IS IMPORTANT TO US. IF YOU HAVEN'T MADE TIME FOR IT, IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T CONVINCED YOURSELF THAT IT'S IMPORTANT ENOUGH.
Facts
Preach!
💯
Well said
Ouch😢
I got exhausted just listening to this. When did relationships get so complicated?
People go through life and experiences. It’s Human Nature. Everyone will at some point will have complicated relationship for a fact that it’s part of life. Why it takes work in a relationship. Nothing is permanent. So, at some point the relationship will be tested.
Yes and women are exactly the same way. We also need reassurance. We also become extremely fragile and MOST of the time we are the ones to get betrayed by a man. In the beginning it’s you’re the best thing that ever happened to them, the most amazing women ever, confident about how much they want you. Then as soon as they “get” you and you start to trust and believe them then everything changes and they completely turn the tables on you.
Bait and switch. I think a lot of men done know what to do after the infatuation stage is over
If you didn't do something to make him feel differently about you, then you have just begun to realize you're with a gaslighting, love-bombing, covert narcissist. Welcome to the party! Shoot... 😪😞
@@sweetpeaxh 💯 for sure
Yep!
This is soooo true, I was talking to a friend of mine about this and he said that in a lot of guys' minds, once he's done all the "hard work" of pursuing a woman and he actually gets her, then he thinks he doesn't have to try so hard anymore, so all those wonderful things he used to do while pursuing you and at the beginning of the relationship, he no longer feels the need to do because he "got the girl" now.
While women tend to do the opposite, where we don't make things easy at the beginning but then we pour everything we got into the actual relationship.
Absolutely especially when he didn’t expect to fall so fast … but don’t be FOOLED the moment you show that you are into him just as much he will stop trying as hard .. always keep that chase even when married
I disagree. But then again, maybe your right to a certain extent...because most people take people for granted...I don't. So I get that.
But doing that is Very Toxic...especially if both parties come into it like that. It shouldn't be a problem for both parties to come together and share their love with each other...and also verbalize it...cause some people's love language are Words Of Affirmation. That's my Secondary 1. So I like to hear that from the people I love every now n then. But that's just me.
@@jayc5756 this is in fact reality for a lot of people .. our experiences are very different but similar at the same time .. I can only speak from my life
@AliSand the chase is never over with me because I keep them on their toes but even then .. I have realized a man must love you more than you love him for it to work .. if his level of love is at a 10 you gotta be at an 7-8.. never match them
@AliSand Well that means that you got the wrong guy then. So maybe that will wein out the right and wrong ones then.
Cause The Right One For you Will Love & Appreciate All Of You Fully!
@@Daniii9393 Yeah, I know. It is what it is
A guy catching feelings is like the tin man finally getting a heart and the scarecrow finally getting a brain. Ladies own your Wiz and stay smart.
Oh snap crackle and pop that one hit hard lol
😂
Lol😂😂😂😂
LOVE THIS!!!
😂😅😂😂😂😂😂😂
Spot on 100% men won't come out and tell you he's feeling insecure. When you know he's really into you (meaning he wants to spend time with you and talks of marriage) you know he's into you. However, the more he falls, he absolutely gets insecure and yes, little things can set him off. They might pull away due to this and it doesn't mean he's falling out of love but in his feelings about whatever is making him insecure. A lot of times it's a thought of "wait, am I good enough for her?" It could be anything that triggers it. Just don't force (chase him) let HIM figure it out but be there for him in the background. Make him know you're there for him whenever he needs you. Don't get an attitude. Don't chase. Don't pressure him. You'll know if a guy is into you but if you chase, it will make his insecurities fester and he will pull away more.
Its called Courage. If a man has none, is he worth having??
A lot of women are waking up to focusing solely on their evolution...not the unnecessary woes of dating... Especially due to the era we're in.
Dating is so draining. It’s easier and better just focusing on yourself. I did want to be in a relationship but now I don’t… I don’t even like to go on dates with men. I’ll flirt… I like flirting lol but beyond that? No.
@@CocoaBananas23 yes!!!
@@CocoaBananas23 Same here. After all, we all know there is such a thing as the honeymoon phase of dating in which the man is amazing and treats you like a queen, and you're happy, and everything is going great. Then when he knows he's got you, it ALL GOES DOWNHILL. This is why so many women (myself included) have quit dating - and entering into a relationship - altogether. It's just too disappointing when the man stops putting in the effort and then you're left stuck in your emotions and feelings for him. I'm done with the pattern and mounting anxiety that comes along with having a man in my life. I'm flying solo from here on out and no more waiting for a man to go back to the way he was in the beginning to "get me."
To drain ing to listen to
Yes because men make it so hard these days. I had a "better" love life when I was a teenager😒
Had one that was really into me, very lovey dovey and displaying everything you said, this was the most open ive been, even though it was kinda new, he was in, so i rolled with it. Connection felt strong, dates a few times a week, calls daily, etc. After one disagreement, that we settled, he started acting different and distant days later. Now all of a sudden he's busy and not answering calls or texts. he says a friend told him to slow down and date other ppl, which he did. Meanwhile the friend doesn't have anybody. It hasn't been the same since and now we no longer date. Outside influences should be cool to give advice, but not your ultimate decision makers vs what you actually feel.
I would consider this as he did you a favor. If he is easily persuaded then that’s not the man for you. Red flag for sure
@@vboyer71 that's a great way to look at.
@@vboyer71 agreed! 🙏🏽 no grown man should let anyone have that much influence over their life. I honestly think he got scared and used that as a cop out, but either way I'll never know. 🤷🏽♀️ and thanks!
you dodged a bullet. a relatively healthy, mature man would not have caved to his friend’s advice so easily.
Big red flag is if someone allow other to influence him and his choice 😔😬
I’m having to much to say on these videos, but here I go again. I’m a firm believer that if I know myself, which i’ve been learning more and more over years, and I am open and honest in my prayers about the kind of man I want, but more importantly knowing that GOD knows all about me and also knows the man I need, HE will make it happen. He created the universe, the earth, everything on it, and humans. I know that him bringing the man to me or me to him is a simple task. While I wait, in faith, doing my best and modifying my personality according to His will while waiting. HE’ll make it happen. The man won’t be perfect, but he’ll be perfect for me, and vise versa. We’ll need to watch each other for a while, as that is necessary.
At that point, I don’t see the need to pursue anyone. If a man comes in my presence, he shows me that he is NOT the one if it’s like I have to pull hen’s teeth to activate him. Why should I, and why should he? If there’s nothing there, it’s just not there and don’t waste time wondering.
Without faith in GOD, it goes back to grade school. Don’t chase males and don’t accept everyone chasing you. Just because he hits you doesn’t make him a person to be bothered with. When you two can play together and share, be friends, and find yourself looking for each other throughout the day, you’ll be good friends. Usually, he will come to your sandbox. Boys/men take advantage of girls as well as women. It blows their heads up.
Carry yourself as a lady at all times. Don’t chase. Mutual is good. chasing is always a no.
That’s why when my current partner left me a message saying I was treating him like he’s thirsty I had to show up… I had to let him know I would never think him being consistent and venerable is thirsty…my intention is to show him by responding to what works
Something about your energy makes me feel better when I’m sad and angry.
I have that same feeling when I visit this page. Puts me in a positive but realistic mood on life.
Same, when I am hurting over feeling lonely his videos bring me peace ❤️
Probably because he is being genuine or genuinely trying to help. That's awesome ❤❤❤❤
My husband of twenty two years have been unfaithful to me, I'm tired of pursuing him now am ready to divorce him.I've been following your videos thanks coz I come to realize that our love ended long time ago.
I am sorry you experienced that in your marriage. 🙏🏾
Sorry you are going through this. I know it's hurtful but do what is best for you and I pray you heal.
I learned that when you're in a relationship with a cheater, you're cursed by their evil deeds.
never pursue a man ✨ pursue your best self. Wishing you healing and love, sister
@@ZaynabSolange Thanks 🙏
Before my husband was my husband he worked for me. There was attraction and I was praying about if he was the one God had for me and we danced around the issue and became really good friends. Then I kept thinking if he really likes me he would make a move. Well…. I knew he was the one God had for me and I proposed to him and he told me after we got married that he was so glad I did because he could not wrap his head around me being attracted to him and he would have never made a move out of respect for me and not wanting to ruin our friendship. I am glad I proposed and wake up every day Thanking God for my husband and Gods gift and guidance🥰
How long have you all been married?
I guess
You proposed to him?
Why does courting and relationships have to be so difficult 😢
Right! So much game playing and poor communication. It’s draining. It’s unnecessary. It’s too far gone.
Exactly us women have to deal with manipulation it's sad
It's not, it's just little boys trying to be men who are difficult
For men/women who have had their hearts broken, don’t take that to another woman/man. She/He can’t repair it. The wound may be there, but as one therapist I heard say, our wounds should be healed and scarred over. If you are steady wondering if the new person loves you, examine yourself honestly.
I think that comments is talking about the begining of a relationship. If a man is into you After he got you...he will Continue to pursue you, make the plans and make you a priority. He wont have to chase because you are into him too. There is a match. But when that man Starts pursuing(chasing) you and he is calling says sweet things and you Know he is interested, then weens off, he is no longer consistent like at the start....That's a yellow flag. He is not really into you.
This is why men need real male mentors and confidants...the reality is for all of his inner thoughts he needs to check them with one male whom he can be vulnerable with to trust with all of his inecurities, put them in check and gain the confidence he needs to continue moving forward with the woman he is pursuing. Because IF he's pursuing her and has these inner thoughts of vulnerability that alone says she's the right one or at least has been what he needs and is looking for. When he starts 2 2nd guess that and put pressures in her and the relationship b/c of his insecurities that's not healthy and why men need real mentors and confidants.
...or, healthy relationships with their fathers
OMG 😒😒😒so much childish behavior and thinking it’s annoying, if “WE” cannot express ourselves to each other and see the difference from past relationships, go heal and then find me
The fact that these videos are necessary shows you how damaged we are as people.
I don’t care anymore. I’m fine with my dogs and peace. Men can go kick rocks. #DogLadyLife 😜✌🏼
Girl same. Today I was just drained thinking about how he was pursuing me so hard, how much effort he put into our relationship. In the moment I gave him the same energy and showed my love and affection and support, boom, he is now entertaining other girl. Blessings from #CatLadyLife
@@princessirulancorrino4695 Love bombing
ditto!! Not worth my energy anymore!! I Love my dogs more than life itself ❤
@@leoqueen313 I agree! And dogs and cats know what unconditional love is.
Iktr! Men are too complicated, complex… they’re like puzzles missing pieces. I’ve thrown in the towel. Done.
Do you mind turning your audio up louder before uploading your vids. I'm on my max vol and can't hear much if I move from my computer :)
I know my KING is very sensitive!! I'm willing to do whatever it takes for him to know I love him. I will never hurt him. I know people are in his ear, but God is in his heart. I believe he knows the love I feel is real. We have been through things together that have made us better for each other. God is intentional in everything he does. I know him better than I would have if we hadn't been through the things we went through. The whole video felt like it was made for me. It was confirmation of what I believed when it came to my baby, baby. I am the love that will keep him sheltered from the storm. Nothing or no one is going to stop God's plan. In his perfect timing.
@stephenSpeaksClips SCAMMER!!
Damn girl. I hope in a few years time he doesn't replace you. 😂
Amen and Amen 🙏 🙌 ❤
@@JaZmine147 lol if he does, his loss!! I know my worth and how good of a woman I am. Trust me, if he doesn't do his part, he will be replaced in a couple of years!!! YUP!!
@@cynthiagomes2979 Amazing attitude!! So good to hear. I'm coming from a place where I supported MY king and afterwards he didn't want to be with me because I reminded him / represented of all the shit from the past. It was easier to move on to a new woman and be the end product somewhere else.
Thank you for the clarity. This big brave bold guy I met. Started acted strange. That threw me for a loop. He is slowly coming around.
Good stuff! It's good to know there are men on the internet who actually cares to understand how women think and feel and vice versa.
@Stephanspeaks I usually agree with much of the advice you share. This one is definitely questionable for me. What happened to a man being the leader? How are we as women supposed to meet him Half-way, If he is leading the charge? Should we reciprocate efforts when we are interested and / or in a relationship? Absolutely! Men need to feel loved and valued, just as women do. However, we were intentionally created differently. Why do people insist that we then act the same? At what point does a man actually then take leadership, if we are always meeting in the middle?
there isn't one video I don't love from stephan!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALWAYS SPOT ON . ALWAYS.
So for me, as I was, and what I said, in the beginning still stands. The person may just need to go over their notes. Yes! of course she is and desires royalty, because she knows she is, and believes he is. So he doesn't need to ask--but he can--AND JUST RECEIVE.
ECCLESIASTES 3.1...
HOPE IS BETTER THAN WORRY.
THE VOICE...YES! SHE LISTENS.
HAVE A MOST WONDERFUL DAY, AND ENJOY IT.
It seems women think in a similar fashion. Women want/need to know that the men they are involved with or about to get involved with have certain feelings for them bordering on love at least.
I Totally Agree. You're sooo right bro.
You are absolutely correct!! The man will carry the relationship 🎉❤
WOW! I have seen men ask women whom they are in love with if she loves him several times repeatedly. Who knew that they start feeling insecure and vulnerable when they are into to a lady. Great information.
This is the sad state we are in today. Insecure men and women plague this world. If they would find love in Christ first then this wouldn’t be an issue.
Truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's a very good point. but remember also me as a woman I am an example of Christ to the man in my life. to all men in my life. we need each other to build each other back up. we've all been hurt by Sin in this world. Christian and non-Christian, we are all affected by spiritual the Bible says that a woman needs to be loved and that a man needs to feel respected. and if we just start implementing what the Bible tells us about our roles as both men and women there could be some healing. it's true I walk with God is number one, but then we need to start respecting the men in our lives, and the men can try to love the women in their lives even if we don't want to. The reason we don't want to as we've all been so hurt. The sin in our life has hurt all of us. if a man lies to me because he is hiding his hurt I don't consider that lying. I forgive him. The Bible says if somebody sends against us we forgive them. that is healing to them. I have been sinned against. I am deeply hurt. My twin sister killed herself when we were twenty. I hurt every day over that. but I need to forgive her. and I also need to forgive other people and they hurt me. I've had people lie to me. but they are just covering up their hurt and I can see that. so I have mercy on them and I forgive them, they know they lied and I don't need to twist a knife into their wound and make everything worse. if we all do our part there can be healing
This makes so much sense and has given me great insight and the answers I’ve needed. Thank you.
This may be one of the answers of what happened to my husband. Even though every day I did so much for him, that's not how he wanted to have me express it. I did love him but wasn't as expressive as he was and didn't stressed on it enough in the way he was looking for. He separated from me 6 weeks ago, probably because someone assured him of his greatness with words more than me. 😢
Totally agree. A woman go through this too when she likes a man.
Hello Stephan thank you again for your powerful insight God Bless..
I never could say yet that I had a man that really wants to put forth effort and meet most of the necessary needs in a relationship. They always try to use, abuse, cheat and ignore me. # Been over it!!!!! , What book do you recommend ?
Yes thank you for your advice 😘 I trust God he will send the right man to me with love n respect God open me up to know who he is I'm going to continue working on myself to be a better woman God send my husband to me with open heart n eyes mindset let him lead me to father God bless coming in blessed going out 🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️
🌈Faith Cancels Out All Fear
If you are a believer you must
Know what the word of God saids
I do 🙌 with what you are speaking
But I'll talk about another reason why
Men and women have this issue. Because you always express an essential ingredients in moving into
Receiving a loving relationship its
HEALING GID FIRST AND IS IT A REAL
CONNECTION!!! PART 2 Tomorrow😍😀
The devil know the word of God too.1
Great GREAT point of outside influences! On at least on 4 separate occasions, their damaged, jealous girlfriends worked to break-up the burgeoning relationships.
I never addressed it with them but I waited to see who they respected more, their girlfriends or me. I have no regrets 😌
They can talk about the future with you which they know perfectly that you are not in it.....
Your Vibes so Great make me desire more you adds to my Smiles and makes my day ,Love up man 🙏❤️
I think it's The Sweetest thing,When a Man shows His Love for His Women.💕😍 What if She Feels the Same Way and Understand.
Thank you! Definitely helpful
Thanks!
Can you do a video on a mother enmeshed man and how that impacts him showing up for a woman?
I might need to write my dissertation on that. So many levels to unpack 📚📝
Thank you for bringing insight on this. You really give different perspectives from other channels!
Great insight 🫶🏾
im shocked how this is my exact situation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he’s questioning the love you have for him if you’re engaged ? Like my ex relationship was a serious rollercoaster. First time being engaged, planning a wedding and I didn’t feel that he was really wanting this for us. His mom was taking all the charge…
Stephan, could being in this vulnerable state make him so sensitive that he freaks out over something small and leaves? Was it too overwhelming to feel in love? Will he come back?
I’ve always heard, the right man won’t be scared off by you.
Can you tell us what you consider small????
if a man truly loves you he wont run even if you are as crazy as a madhouse rat
it depends on which dating coach he’s listening to. 🤷🏻♀️ the internet has ruined dating.
That book said it is true love thank
You are so right on this Stephan ❤️👍🏿
This is d best video ever and everything u said is facts, cus my bf is just everything u talked about cus he didn't know he will fall deeply for me and now his insecurity is way too much, so fragile and sooooo insensitive everything I do he must read meaning to it, especially him been American and me a Nigerian it a LDR but deep down I know he is d one, it rough sometyms and also challenging but he is d best I have ever had, he gives me peace of mind and I will choose him over and over again if it God's will
Thank you for this knowledge bc am back in the dating scene after a five year relationship.
I believe that
I read this book. I don't want to say who it is written by, it's a good book but I don't agree with everything that he wrote in it. 🤔. I like your view on this subject 👍❤️🙏
Thank you for sharing keep up the good work looking forward to seeing your VIDEO again so beautiful great job thank you so much I really appreciate it see you again so beautiful great job thank you
I am aligned w u today, I so needed to hear this video today, namaste, I feel good and know we are on our way to a healthy spiritual relationship, thank u
Yes, this man started very playful, then wasn't so playful anymore, but still wanted to see me and talk to me about his job, frustration, and so on...
More sensitive
Thanks 🙏
Thanks
Great video❣️🔥🔥🔥My sentiments exactly! 🥰
The funny thing about “outside influences” is, it be the man talking smack about his own relationship to his family.
How do I help him with the grief of losing his mom? We knew each other 3 months when she passed suddenly the day before his birthday. He says she is all he had. Dad passed when he was 8 and has 2 grown daughters away in the army. He took such great care of his Momma while she was in the nursing home for over 4 years. He is very fragile and I'm not sure how to know if he will ever want more with me after this ultimate heartbreak. I'm sure he has become depressed. I would love to be his girl... how do I support his heart without the reciprocation and assurance that he ever will be up for a commitment with me.
Don't pressure him. Right now just be his friend .he is hurting .let him come to you ..just reciprocate when he reaches out ..this is a tender moment in his life.dont let it be about you. rt now its about him n wat he needs ..
Just trying to be prioritized over the house chores.
I get the texts daily but if I am busy and so are you and the one day we have time you pick the house work instead of time with me …. Is that an indication or him taking on his responsibilities 🤷♀️
Yes
I read this too! It's true!
Whew! This was a great one!
I like your reading voice. I felt like I was listening to one of your audio books for a second lol
What about when it comes to long distance relationships?
I asked the same thing.
Painful 😢 tricky !
If you just texting would you show feelings? Suppose it's not the person?.
No
Good morning Stephan here is tonic for good health papaya use the hold Papaya wash the skin off good use whole papaya cut the papaya skin with the seeds put water into the blender grind everything together.pour into big jar;
Now cut pineapple skin off put the skin into pot boil water on low gas when come to boil turn gas off and let it cool down then pour it into blender when cool down cut up pineapple and grind it into liquid mix the papaya together
I am give you this to stay alive for you and yout
Children wife many blessings to you and your
Family.
Men need to lead and grow up . They are meant to be givers .
There are givers and takers .gender doesn't matter..
What about what a man wants? Ain't gonna invest emotionally with a woman who shows 0 reciprocity. Being in a relationship is an exchange of value.
If I do X with a woman and she doesn't reciprocate Y. I'd stop being emotionally available with that woman. Only a man who felt not good enough and insecure would fall for that trap.
With that statement what you basically said is you want the man to lead but at the same time you want the power in the relationship (which is impossible).
You aren't supposed to just take take and take. Reciprocity goes a long way
You’re good Mr. L. 💯✅💜
All under 2 minutes this was a wrap & I love it ❤ time to look at the full video 🥰
❤🎉thank you
This is happening to me, he start sweet with me from beginning new he said you know what let be friends for now i said what in my head you start sweet with me now you said let's be friends oh my God am confuse but i like him please help me.
Hello Mr. Stephan! I truly enjoyed your participation in "My Future Wifey" podcast at New Birth March 25th. Great job!💯
YES YES YES MR. Stephan
was wonderful as usual
I ALWAYS LOVE HIS BODY LANGUAGE AND PRESENTATION. HE DISPLAY CONFIDENCE AND HE OFFER WISDOM IN A RELAX MANNER
WISDOM FALLS OFF HIS LIPS EVERY TIME
MY ALMIGHTY CONTINUE TO BLESS US ALL. WE R JUST A WORK IN PROGRESS. MUCH LOVE TO MY SISTERS AND BROTHERS 2023
It hurts but so true 😢😢😢😢😢
Listen, man don’t play about their money or their time. If you haven’t made the cut in both areas, hmmm yeah… move around.
I do my best 👌.
Ok Steven, you give great advice so why are you NOT married?
He is busy HELPING
AT THE APPOINTED TIME
IT WILL HAPPEN. PLUS SOME PEOPLE R PRIVATE
2023
@@joydorsy3341 he has been giving relationship advice for over 10 years and has not been in a relationship. This has nothing to do with privacy, people who consider themselves relationship coaches are supposed to be in happy, successful relationships themselves genuis!🤦🏽♀️
@@blackcherry6877 Did ever cross ur GENIUS MIND EVERY ONE IS ENTITLE O THEIR OWN LIFE STYLE AND OPINIONS
ADULTS DO NOT EXPLAIN THEIR DECISIONS
IT IS PRIVATE
SORRY "IF" STEPPED ON
UR TOES
HAVE A GOOD DAY 2023
@@joydorsy3341 typing in all caps doesn't make you look good. You're very emotional about a man you do not even know. I do not take relationship advice from men who are not in happy relationships themselves. Thats because I'm smart and you are not, you are emotionally unhinged. There are plenty of men on RUclips who are "married" and they show their wives and they give relationship advice. Now you have whatever day you want to have.
@@blackcherry6877excuse me, but where did you get this information that a person who call themselves relationship coaches HAVE to be in a relationship themselves (at every moment)? What class or book did you get that from? Thanks.
I’m almost over waiting for real.
How do i meet him halfway and not too much.
Communication ..have a discussion about what's needed from one another .
Expectations etc
Ask him how you can meet him halfway .. Or fully for that matter ..
When you're all in tell him don't hold back ..
Then make your decision based On His response .
Unless he’s a Virgo 🤣😂😆
No, Mr Stephan we dont forget, we dont know.
😂🤣😂 Okay, SERIOUSLY.
If I am reaching out to a man before he initiates contact with me, I am viewing him as 10,000% platonic... or we're in a full-blown relationship & I'm not second-guessing stupid shit like "how many times have I texted him in the last month, is it getting obsessive?"
Hey king, does* not dose ❤
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Two different species. Women will never understand men and men will never understand women. I’m over it and happy single, the best life 💃🏽🎼🎵🎤🎶
Deep
These Men Today want you to chase them…Ummmmm No I will Not- I AM Not A Cop 👮♀️ 😂
Seeking first the kingdom of God and he will let the real man find you not you find the man the Bible says the man that finds a wife finds a good thing stay focused woman of God on the lord he knows what s best the man that finds you has to be lead by God and I mean it truly love s the lord or he can not love you 💜🙏 action speak louder than words
sounds like justification of an immature man who's probably not worth it
🙏🏽🙌🏽♥️
Why is it we have to give way more to a man to get so little in return. Time for the man to work harder. Im done kissing ass
Wrong man if you feel that way
I wanted you to prosper. I am not in a relationship.
Truth is men and women are so dysfunctional because of GODLESSNESS!!!! GOD is love, truth, peace, and sanity. If you want love, trust, respect from anyone, you MUST first have it for GOD, then yourself!!!! Real love is freedom, peace, positive energy. Love is NOT confining, controlling, chaotic, petty ---- or negative energy!!!!!! PRAY! TRUST GOD!! RENEW YOUR MIND and just be HONEST????? I just don't understand why this concept is so difficult for people. I you are honest and love someone JUST SAY IT!!!! If that person doesn't vibe same way LET 'EM GO!!!! GET OVER IT!!!! Save yourself grief and misery Be REAL with yourself; if you're not real with yourself, HOW are you gonna be real with anyone else???? GOD knows who you are; you should know who you are......