INFJ female here , we are not nearly as emotional as you think. INFJ females and INTJ males are highly compatible , we balance each out in the most beautiful way.
Honestly, I really like his discussion, but I don't understand why he thinks he's right. It would be far more interesting and accurate if you just described what would come up these relationships instead of telling people wasn't you because of his own crappy experience.
This! If you score really high on thinking as an INFJ (like 49% thinking, 51% feeling) then you have no problem switching on logic in these situations. I recently began talking a lot with an INTJ male and he really likes speaking with me because we can discuss topics very smoothly.
If you switch to intj female and infj male... she would eat him for lunch...😂😂😂 have you met INFJ males??? The male is far more sensitive than the female. Intj male needs the infj female as he speaks with a lot of non verbal communication that only the intuitive nature of an infj female can understand over other types. So I'm sorry you are way off. Remember the paradox factor of the true INFJ. We also do not attach feeling to logic and are blunt which the INTJ male admires the most.
As i just replied, INFJs are problem solvers as well. We'll figure out how to make it work. When that can be achieved id agree, it appears the perfect match. We can understand each other, the inner worlds in our heads, our need for chill/ alone time and general thought processes. As an INTJ male i couldn't think of anything worse than an extrovert female who is trying to drag me out all the time and when at home gives me no down time. That is much harder to deal with imo as it clouds and weakens our thought processes. Recently i meet an INFJ female and its simply amazing how easy and relaxed our conversations are. One amazing thing early on we touched on a few subjects like exs and finances and i probably dug myself a hole because to me i needed to give enough information for things to make sense to them logically. It was like, oh shit how do i stop this because its probably not where we should be at this stage. The amazing thing was, the moment i paused thinking that, she went straight into explaining her situations. It was like she knew immediately id left myself open and perhaps vulnerable and matched it with her own. Not sure how many others would even pick up on what she did, but as an INTJ male i can tell you that i did the moment she spoke. That level of empathy and understanding is huge for us INTJs and the best way to earn our trust. I can promise that is still floating around in my head all the time because its so unlike behaviors ive witnessed in the past, its like i immediately see her inner beauty. Actually this is 100% true. After chatting with her the first time (when the above happened) i asked if she'd taken a personality test before and explained i think she might be the rarest type, but i couldn't remember exactly what it was, but called it a unicorn type lol. Next morning she tells me she did the test and was an INFJ, i look it up and sure enough she's a unicorn. I tell this story because if INTJs are so incapable of understanding the INFJ how on earth did i pick she was likely one when i had less than 2% chance of being right? And to add to the INTJ suitability, guess why im here? Yep to understand what problems we might face and being prepared to understand her better. Its our thirst for knowledge and understanding that drives us to find these things out.
This is me and my husband. We have our struggles, especially with parenting. He’s black and white and I tend to care more about “why” and explaining things. We’ve learned to compromise but it’s still hard sometimes. Over the years I’ve learned to be less emotional and more logical and he’s learned to stop and try to understand my why. I don’t take his logic and criticism personally, I know that’s just how his brain works. He shows his love in lots of little practical ways. I jokingly say he’s the only person I can stand being there when I want to be “alone”. He doesn’t drain my energy. I don’t have to feel pressured to go do stuff because we both like routine and time at home. We have fascinating deep conversations and he listens well. Does he struggle to empathize sometimes? Yes! But he tries and that’s the thing that matters so much to me as an INFJ. I feel like he sees me and wants to see the real me which is heady stuff for someone who’s felt invisible their whole life.
CV Same for me and my wife. My wife says the exact same thing as you about being alone together. Haha we actual have the same struggles as you do. I have define rly learned to be more empathetic and she has learned to think somewhat differently.
Wow wow wow!!!! I'm super excited that I'm not the only one in this situation. I'm also married to an INTJ man who I love to death, and he loves me too but our personalities and way of thinking are in different dimensions... And it's very hard to deal with on both parts we are both sacrificing a great deal in everything trying to change or alter the very essence of your being and who you are... It's crazy.... Very crazy but it works and here we are... Never fully understanding each other but still fighting to come down to the others level of thinking... It's extremely painful....
First, INFJ females statistically dominate the category for INFJs, the same for male INTJs and finding the opposite side for gender is harder than finding the original pairing to begin with, which is already a statistical nightmare. Secondly, you're probably accurate that on paper it doesn't make sense, but with maturity (late 20s for both after relationship exp) this can be one of the greatest pairings an INFJ or INTJ can know. Sharing Ni dom is extremely significant. Add in maturity and I promise you, the connection you will feel instantaneously with the other party would make your jaw hit the floor. Mature INFJ/INTJ couples exemplify what romantic human relationships should look like
We are INFJ M and INTJ F couple. The devotion and love are incredible, but everything else doesn't work. Very difficult combination, because as an INFJ I'm much more rational and logical than she is. She is super emotional as an INTJ.
This is so encouraging, thank you. I'm an INFJ female (mid 30's) with an INTJ male (early 40's) pursuing me. Our conversations have been going well thus far and he's been consistent in his communication. He did however seem off today. He just went quiet all afternoon yet he's still socialising with other people. Did you experience ghosting from your husband when you were eating? One video I watched says, when an INTJ goes quiet on you, they are internalising everything and need space.
INTJ male here. I have some arguments: 1) Usually the giga masculine men (thinker man) get very attracted to the giga feminine women (feeler woman) and vice versa. Balanced individuals usually attract other balanced individuals (male feeler with female thinker). 2) The Te and Ti and the Fe and Fi have a unique give and take and appreciating each other relationship. Fi and Ti seem to be insecure, whereas Fe and Te flaunt themselves over their ability. Te brings up Ti, and Fe brings up Fi. 3) The mutual Ni and Se and both being Ni Dom means they see the world the same way and prioritize the same things (Ni patterns). I argue this is in fact a very highly compatible relationship.
I have over time have changed a few views and can see your points. The shadow side is something to consider. I believe my opinion stated with this video has more personal then static. But I am sure if either person is higher on the feeling and thinking then midway there could be issues but you make great points. Well said and I am sure others will find your comment in opposition valuable as I do. Well said. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Thank you, Marty! The meetings of minds over topics of interest was the whole point, and I appreciate your point of view. I certainly believe the sweet spot is a balance of "opposites attract" and "likes keep the attraction". Folks in Objective Personality posit there are 32 different variations of each type. I am sure your personal experience was valid, given the kind of INTJs you came across.
@@marty_glenn My 2 cents, it is the FJ verses the TJ when making the decision over something. It is not always the same decision between the two. XNFJ works better with XNFP. while XNTJ works better with XNTP. Thanks.
My gf is INFJ and I am INTJ but we are a perfect match... we can never run out of things to talk about, we do everything together, help fix each other flaws, and She helps me show my emotions for her.
Maybe you are both mis typed. Maybe you are not. Guess what? Who gives a shit... ;) Go with it and keep up the personal study and you cannot lose no matter what MBTI says. TYWC - Marty
INFJ female here; This is brilliant and so very helpful! My INTJ partner told me he felt my son was a sociopath because he wouldn’t talk to him (says the guy who rarely talks). My son has since tested as an INTJ 😆😆😆
I am an INFJ married to an INTJ for 35 years this next January. I love him dearly and he is my world. I was a very timid young wife but life toughens us all and we balance each other out. His type will always be more dominant but he doesn’t bully me. He is incredibly tender underneath all his toughness and I am incredibly stubborn and a workaholic. We have made it work very well! Those words you say should be ever said again...you are SPOT ON. We could never ever ever be those. I enjoy your videos very much!
That is great. One thing that is hard for me and the videos is that I cannot ever be 100%; 80/20 is the best I could ever hope to achieve so I am glad you enjoy the videos and they are worthy of your time. Always doing my best. TYWC - Marty
Thanks for commenting I'm INFJ and my husband is INTJ and we're really trying it out everyday with trust communication and love it's not easy though... Two years in marriage now
I quite enjoyed this video, thank you. I'm an INFJ, and your comments about bringing traits like empathy to the moon made me laugh. I can relate. I can only speak from my own experience, but my long-time boyfriend is an INTJ. We absolutely understand each other emotionally. He understands that my emotions run deep and I relate to others on a deeply emotional level. Conversely, I understand that he is not as in-touch with his emotions, but he does have them! And talking about our differences has helped a great deal as well discussing our love languages. While I'm more vocal, he is not, but he expresses love in other ways, such as by cooking for me. Our relationship has been very strong from the start as a result of our communication. I believe an INFJ (F) and an INTJ (M) relationship can absolutely work. Edit: I thought of an example after-the-fact, so I'm sorry for writing a lot. When my boyfriend and I watch a sad movie, it is guaranteed to make me sob my eyes out because I emphasize with the characters. While I'm sobbing my eyes out, my boyfriend will start to laugh because he's seeing me cry over a movie, which logically, makes no sense. Because I can emphasize with how he is feeling and why he's laughing, it makes me laugh, and it cheers me up. It's a silly example, but I think my ability to understand other people, such as my boyfriend in this situation, makes the relationship so strong. I don't think it matters which person (male or female) is the INFJ in the relationship because there will always be an empathetic connection to make it work.
My wife is INFJ a and I am a INTJ and we get a long fantastic we have very good open communication for both mature enough to see are strengths and our weaknesses and we rely on each other in those areas. For us it is a perfect match. She's logical enough to understand that I think differently and see things differently than she does. And even though I don't deal with my emotions the same way I am mature enough to understand how important they are to other people and how important they are to her. And I always approach situations with that thought in mind we get a long perfectly.
INTJ male here who has been dating an awesome INFJ woman. As an INTJ the emotion / empathy does not always come naturally, however like all things skills can be developed. Her soft, kind and empathetic nature is one of the many things I love about her. I think a lot of INTJ get type cast as cold and calculating and and that's it, upbringing and experience likley has a lot to do with this, I was raised by my sister, mum and Dad, 2 X ENFP and dad.... Not sure maybe a true INTJ, however I have a very soft side and actually genuinely want the best for all the people in my life, it's not always big business thinking, it can certainly be people focused. I like to think if the INTJ male can turn his ability to study, learn and understand the INFJ it will make life much easier longer term. Would be easier like you say I'm some of your other videos if the INFJ go to the point and said exactly what they need too at times it would be easier on an INTJ who is not generally easily offended. We have cracking conversations and connect on so many levels it leaves me in awe. However can also see how it could be an issue if she's an immature INFJ, my other sister is INFJ as well, and her marriage is.....door slammed under one roof, so this is a concern. Were both in our late 30s, so will be interesting to see how it plays out. I'm hopeful. Any advise for the INTJ ?
Ya here is some advice: 1. Watch the video on ghosting 2. Watch the video on Love and Trust See how those two help you. ;)) Keep going. Sounds like your path is a good one. TYWC - Marty
I think you said that you are in your late 30s? Your Fi and her Ti is developed by now so it's easier for you to see where her emotions are coming from and for her to see where your logic is coming from. Like you said, maturity is the key. As an INFJ female in her late 20s, I would suggest that you try to understand that empathy comes to us naturally for good people as well as for bad people because we see potential in everyone irrespective of who they are. However, we won't fear to call someone out if they are morally wrong. Just don't try to repress her emotional side because then she would feel suffocated. Let her cry while watching sappy movies. Let her make mistakes and learn from them herself. Don't provide solution to her every problem because sometimes all we need is not solution but an ear to listen to us. We can find solution to our problems most of the time if not all the time. Let her know that even if sometimes it's hard for your logical brain to understand her, you still appreciate who she is as a person and would not change a single thing about her. If you do that, I promise we are emotional but not irrational. We are using our Ti all the time. Though you may not notice because it's an introverted function. But considering you are already doing a great job, I hope my advice will only help you understand her needs more.
I am an INFJ in my 30s. I would say just ask her and be open to communication. It is easy to shut down when conflict arises but neither INFJ or INTJ want conflict. You'll have to observe her love language and go from there. Most INFJs are willing to work with you on anything as long as they know you are in it as well. Nothing worse than being abandoned emotionally or left to handle problems by yourself. If you are willing and she is willing you will overcome. Also, as fragile as an INFJ appears they don't always need a savior.
I’m an INTJ female, in love with a INFJ male, and it’s perfection. I like your explanation on this. We love to have a lot of quiet 🤫 time, lots of 📖. Marty, you’re wonderful at explaining this; you’ve helped me navigate my relationship with the INFJ man, well. P.S. your new haircut 💇🏻♂️ is excellent. Your hairdresser, is very talented.
I am in the fledgling stages of the same type of relationship. It is very exciting. Oddly enough, working through our communication differences is stimulating rather than frustrating. I also have a propensity to engage in various extroverted activities, so I am hoping this will add even more to the dynamic.
INTJ male here. My wife is an INFJ. We have been married for 9 years. It is not always perfect, at times we really have to put in a lot of effort to make it work. However we love each other and trust each other immensely! It can be done 😊
INFJs are men on the inside, female on the outside INTJs are females on the inside, males on the outside buut yeah blindspot Te and blindspot Fe still makes INFJ mostly hearty and INTJ mostly brainy, still..! Btw fun fact, I found that INFJ males are more soft than INFJ girls, tbh. INFJ girls are more harsh than INFJ bois for whatever reason According to a small survey the INFJs that had married: INFP = 10 peeps ENTP = 6 peeps INTJ INFJ ISFJ ENFJ = 5 peeps ENFP ISTP INTP ENTJ = 4 peeps The INFJ females seemed to have preffered INFPs, while the male INFJs preffered INFJs. This was "has married" rather than initial attraction preferences. The INFJ INFP relationship is in my understanding challenging in the beginning. However once that it works it seems to hold very good in the long term. Imo the real issue with INFJ INFP pairing is if it happens fast in the beginning without starting as friendship, as the INFP will feel smothering to the INFJ. I believe INFJs have avoidant attachment and INFPs have anxious attachment, meaning that this should be a challenge it demands alot of growth, yet I suspect the reward is very high and why these people marry succesfully.. INTJ INFJ ISFJ imo is the best options for INFJs who want people who already understand how to relate with their childhood wounding. That means.. less conflict, less feeling of wanting to run away. However on the downside I think if conflicts truly does arrive in these relationships they might turn out very nasty. But I also think they are not likely to happen easily. INFP will probably create more conflicts, but if the INFJ dares to be vulnerable and brave, she can find these conflicts healing rather than destructive, like a painful dark night of the soul (I mean dare to have conflict resolution face to face rather than over text etc). The INFP INFJ relationship can imo turn into both a disaster and a dream depending on how well they get through the anxious vs avoidant, it's a fair amount of shadow work and blind trust required. Both will see each others flaws very clearly, which is not good if the people don't think they have problems themselves too? INFJ INTJ is not a bad pairing I believe, even if the INFJ is female. But it comes with a set of challenges like everything
Spot on. I am an INFJ female and I was recently (unceremoniously) dumped after a 7 year relationship with an INTJ male. Looking back it's painfully clear to see how much room I made for him and how little he understood me or my feelings (or WANTED to understand). It was a classic case of one person giving and giving and the other taking and taking. Hard to look back and realize I allowed that to happen for so long. Hard to realize how much responsibilty I had in allowing it to happen. It was a disastrerous pairing and I should have stepped away long ago. Difficult lesson to learn.
I am an INFJ female too and really liked , adored an INTJ man and he said that he really liked me too but slowly he drifted away without giving any clear reason just vague excuses one being that I am over emotional and passionate . It’s been over 1.5 years and still I haven’t been able to move on and want to chase him and reinitiate atleast to be friends , should I do that or will he lose all respect for me ?
As an INTJ male its hard for me to understand that he didnt want to understand lol Its what we do, we have to solve the puzzles. With our relationships being super important to us all its only natural we try to understand it.
Infj females are highly tuned individuals. We have high standards for our partners. Im with a INTJ male and he is has a a hard time understanding what I need but is patience with me
When i first viewed this video, about a year ago, i hated it because i had met a nice INFJ female...didn't work out as desired. Having since been with a different female INFJ as you describe here, for the past 6 months (Astonishing lady!), now a defunct relationship, i see how this video relates perfectly!
Sorry, but I am INFJ-t and my husband is INTJ-t, and we don't have these sort of interpersonal struggles with each other. Our deep intuitition fuels each other's insights and we really balance each other out. Its like we have different ways of doing...math, for an analogy..but we get to the same conclusions. We often very opinionatedly argue on the how to do things, but when we sit down to strategize, we make a rather formidable team. Yes, he is less concerned about preserving people's feelings in the pursuit of a goal. He cares deeply for people, but he prefers to find the most efficient means to an end. Aware of this, he reaches out to me to help evaluate his thinking behind his actions, and I then help him see what he needs to do and say to appeal and motivate people to go along, or to point out when a communication breakdown occurs, especially nonverbal ones. I turn to him to help me not to lose sight of details and to sharpen my logic/argumentation skills, to express myself more clearly. He is better at developing and starting a plan. I am better at seeing a plan through to completion. But I do wish to thank you for dispelling these really negative myths about the INFJ and INTJ personality types.
We are all different yet same. Nice comment and happy for you; reads very well rounded. That is always a good thing regardless of anything else. TYWC - Marty
We do care about people, but probably think of it more along the lines of - We want to help as many people as possible and only have X resources. How are they best deployed to achieve that goal.
My opinion. ___ I think it depends on what is shaping you in your life journey. I am an INFJ female but i can think logically and have a very critical thinking. I questions every tasks that is given to me even if it sit right with my intuition. I will speak the truth even if it's hurt someone's feeling because sometimes truth and logic must be address. I do make decisions based on feeling but at the same time i think of the pros and cons of the current situation. A mature INFJ ( INFJ who are forced to develop their Ti in a critical situations, because that is one of the way for them to develop their logic and reasoning functions) are known as having a well balanced Fe and Ti although they are likely to use the Fe . Same goes to the INTJ male. If they can balance the Ti and Fe functions, they can understand well why everything happened the way it is. But of course with a lot of considerations, thinking and understanding. For example, maybe, an INTJ that grew up in a well loving family and are exposed to the tenderness of a family or an individual are likely to developed a well-balance Ti and Fe functions, with more Ti development and an INFJ who grew up in a very strict family with a lot of competition and fights in order to be a decent human, will developed a well-balanced Fe and Ti, with more Fe development. We can't said that both INFJ and INTJ have the said amount of Fe and Ti development since both have their own extroverted Fe and Ti, but what we can safely know is that a well developed Ti in an INFJ are they don't rely 100% on their Fe alone but also think logically about what is happening. Same goes to INTJ. A well Fe development in an INTJ is that they know everything are not about logic and critical thinking, some need to be consider from how you feel and how others can accept it without any misunderstanding and reached the target audience. In my opinion, if both are expose to this kind of situation, there are high chance that they can develop a relationship. Not a perfect one, but something that is enough to make their eyes open about how balance and efforts are require in order to make a healthy relationship/ partnership. The reason i said INFJ are forced to develop their Ti in a critical situations, as that is one of the way for them to develop their logic and reasoning functions; is because INFJ are known as a soft and sensitive by nature. If they are surrounded by more of the softness and kindness, they likely to be hypersensitive and will mistaken INTJ (or others MBTI) bluntness as an insult or criticism. Kinda glad i grew up in a harsh environments because that helped me in my Ti development. People sometimes mistaken me as an INTJ or ENTJ, but i'm sensitive and caring most of the time so INFJ/ENFJ suit me better. 😜
I beg to differ. I'm INFJ woman and my fiance is INTJ man and we mesh incredibly well. It feels sexist how you said that women are already extremely compassionate, empathetic, etc. because I know many women who are the exact opposite of me. We have very little problems in our relationship. The way you describe INFJ female is as if our emotions are on steroids and that's highly incorrect.
Yeah, I'm an INFJ woman and happened to be with an INTJ male for a short time, which just turned out to be terrible, because our major values and imaginations when it comes to expressing feelings or emotions or in general about what the relationship should be like.... just couldn't meet up ... although one of my best friends happens to be an INTJ female, this works out much better at least for me, but just because I'm not in love. When I was in this relationship I felt this hunger for being understood emotionally and just felt ridiculously emotionally and misunderstood. I felt like I was real small and anxious. I couldn't make a real connection to his heart most of the time. On the other hand, for him, it was really struggling to pay attention to all of those feelings and don't hurt me. It was just too much for both of us. It couldn't work. I'm not saying it is impossible to work, maybe with a different person it would. That's just my experience with one person. Now I'm together with an ENFP male which happens to be so so easy and he understands me, my feelings and what's going on with me. With him it is possible to connect on a deeper level. But well, I guess it's not good picking partners because of personality types. If you really feel, you can connect with someone and you feel great spending time with this person, it shouldn't matter which personality type they are. ____ Thanks for your video, it helped me seeing why it felt the way it felt.
I am infj female. Thank you so much for immediately correcting the embarrassingly ignorant statement "they are psychopaths"! Its like stating a mountain goats natural environment is the ocean. Infj woman live for love. (Mother Theresa infj female btw!)
You are welcome and when the truth is there and clear; there is no reason to allow it to not be seen or heard. In this case, it was the correcting of that point. TYWC - Marty
You are funny Dee. ;) Thank you for the comment. Over the last few weeks I have really learned a lot. Would you like to know something that I have learned and will show within a video(s)? Please keep reading if you do but if you do not (It could burst your INFJ bubble) just know that you have been warned if you keep reading... :) I think, and I believe it is more then 50% of the internet, does not even have a clue what the foundation of the cognitive functions are. Jung ( you know who he is right ) and his foundational ideas that built MBTI have been stripped by RUclips and the internet and so many RUclips channels and internet (IG) sensations have taken away the true meaning of Jung's work. The reality is that they have mostly based it all on 'Empath' or 'Introverted' or 'Extroverted'. As far as 'Thinking' or 'Feeling', that is just another bad situation all together. It is so fractured and disrupted it is crazy to me. I do appreciate your comment but I am betting you are under 30, more closer to 25, and if you are not younger than 30 then I really need to keep my mouth shut because that would make my impression of your comment to me, that much more representative of a higher level of ignorance. How you watched this video and than comment that I was hurt by an INFJ female is so representative of the foundational ideas of RUclips and IG MBTI and the 30 and younger crowd it is silly to me. So, yes... Bro... I am winging it but keep watching me and what I will show you is this: What I have given you within this comment is more time out of my life than I should have. Based on your comment, I should have just asked you not to watch me anymore and go back to other channels that tell you what strokes your self esteem instead of showing you the truth and what is. You see my channel and the comments I write to my viewers are based on 50 years of life, a hard and one that has depth, that also includes 25 years of no internet or social media as well. Can you imagine your life with ZERO internet or cell phone? I can. I did it; I was born in 1970. When were you born? If you watch other videos I have done, try within the first 150, I think you will see details and information that will substantiate this video and its message. Exposing the reason, you affected me with your comment, and why I would take the time to respond within this manner. So please keep reading for the conclusion... I am an INFJ and online and in this forum, I can take the time, by myself, and respond to you and write and write and delete and delete and write and write being CONFRONTATIONAL or based on your comment appear to you that I was hurt by an INFJ female and have zero understanding of MBTI. This appears so NOT INFJ but in the real world because it IS online and has no face, you do not know the difference between the INFJ online vs offline because you do not know what an INFJ looks like offline because your entire life is based ONLINE. You do not know the difference between when you start and when you finish with regards to you that is digital vs the you that is not digital. Would you like to know what I would do if we were in person having a face to face discussion? I would have listened to your words, than read you and your entire life based on everything the INFJ does and can do by just standing or sitting within 2 feet of you... ...within seconds... ....smiled.... ...then, said goodbye to you, and do exactly what I am going to do now, which is... Not giving you another second of my life, for at this moment, I know it is a complete and total waste of my time. I am betting this comment is a complete and total mind blowing experience for you in that you have never heard or ready anything like it before. I think just for a moment you might question those around you now who claim to be INFJ's based on this little exchange between us. Do not fret Dee, for I play this game of life at a totally different level and with close to 300 videos and counting, I can show it and pretty much prove it. How is that for an INFJ self esteem and door slam? Have a great life Dee. Watch me? Do not watch me? I do not give a fuckin shit for I was not hurt by an INFJ female. I was hurt by the countless Malignant Narcissists I have allowed to enter my life because I was fooled into trusting them, which I did, again and again, only to later have to walk away with nothing to show for it; licking my wounds as I wonder what the fuck is wrong with me and my alien life. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn You know what, let’s dance 💕I really wanted to like this video, but in my 32 years of being here 😉, and two combat tours, I can honestly say that as an INFJ I have the most rewarding relationships with extroverted thinkers. Even fellow Introverts. They appreciate my wisdom, I appreciate their grounded rationality. Many other videos done by people who can go five minutes without stumbling and shouting expletives at their subscribers would say exactly what I’m saying right now Jung is the framework of modern psychology, no doubt, but much of his gendered conclusions are outdated and wrapped up in the ideas of women during that time. INFJ women are assertive, capable of reason, not just somewhere knitting and crying. I for example was a soldier, and I was for a long while. You have gender bias, and we all do to some degree, but you could barely contain yourself in the video as you just cussed and ranted at a layman subscriber of yours for misusing words like “psychopath” when you should assume your following would be a group of folks that are curious, but lesser learned than you, and maintain your bearing I was really waiting on you to explain to her why those were inappropriate terms, but she’s an INFJ female, and sticking it to her was more rewarding than appreciating a teachable moment, because of your bad experiences with them in the past. It’s obviously deeply personal and irrational “Women shouldn’t be born INFJ” is very Hitler-esque. I know he’s also popularly assumed to be INFJ. So, yes, sir, your slip is showing indeed. I will watch your other videos still, and I’m subscribing to you, expect more of this commentary 🌻
Wow did he really delete dee's response? It was perfectly calm, rational and made sense but God forbid anyone with two brain cells challenges you. Weak and manipulative.
Dmb Paints.... ;) You said: "Wow did he really delete dee's response? It was perfectly calm, rational and made sense but God forbid anyone with two brain cells challenges you. Weak and manipulative." My response: I have NEVER done what you said nor will I ever do what you are accusing me of. My channel and this comment section is a unicorn on RUclips. Dee's comment was anything but what you are claiming it to be and I was only off by 2 years on the age of the person behind the comment yet wrong on the under 25. Yet, still pretty accurate on the comment and what I would do in person. I have not done videos in a while for a reason and Dee's comment and your comment are 90% why I have not. In fact, you both should do my channel a big favor... Do not watch me and do not comment. Just go away. Do that for me and I can assure you that your life will be better off and you will make me very happy. Thank you. Take care and I wish you both a very happy and healthy life. - Marty
So I thought the comment was referring to the INTJ as appearing "sociopathic" on the outside, not the INFJ. But it is kind of hard to tell in the way it's written. Very interesting assessment, though. As an INFJ female, I don't think I could handle being with someone who can't empathize well. Since I'm doing it constantly, I need the favor returned sometimes. I've actually read somewhere that the ENFJ is the perfect match... I think. I always get ENFJ and ENFP mixed up. But it's whatever my husband is... I just remember reading that and laughing. I think we do pretty well.
The attitude of Extroverted will create the abuser within an INFJ relationship. The Extrovert has a problem with subjective emotions and feeling. I think I can tie the Extroverted to childhood trauma and Borderline and Malignant Narcissism. In future videos to come. TYWC - Marty
I am an INFJ male I think my father is INTJ. In fact I believe it strongly. Me and my father rarely get along. Somehow with time I learned to respect his nature... It took me time and pain. He hasn't yet learned to respect my way but he tries (reasonable). On the subject here's what I think: INFJ female +INTJ male = hurt or even worse, war
Marty, Deeply value this explanation of compatibility. I needed to see this switch to be in a direct course to find a male in my range of suitability. INTJ female here, it has been interesting on my journey. Absolutely Enlightening. Thank you!
You are welcome. I do not believe with MBTI as a tool or any tool really, that there is any one answer but this I will absolute tell you: " At 53, me, there is a common theme in life with MALES and FEMALES and if you care more about yourself than you do anyone else while wanting to love another person and to be loved by them so much that without them you will die, I truly believe that the world opens up and reveals its secrets. " I hope that came out right and makes sense. TYWC - Marty
Well said. You put it perfectly. I don't know why they romanticize intj male with infj female. Being an infj with an ex INTJ, i know how painful it gets. He treated me like I'm some business and didn't even put any effort to it.
This is an interesting thing to say: "He treated me like I'm some business and didn't even put any effort to it." Now let me tell you what my past woman say about me: "He treated me like I'm some business and put more effort into me than I have ever experience from another human being. The best part of him was that I knew deep down that I would never be cheated on or betrayed and his life was always on the line for my life and for my happiness. I felt it every day. I blew it and I miss him so much. The best part, I guess, is that I know there is no need to search for a replacement. Knowing that is an easier pill to swallow and a misery that is easier to hide." TYWC - Marty
Wow exactly 😅 He wanted to marry but I felt like he wouldn't even exist and use me to his convenience, like a trophy wife while I will be waiting and building his house and looking after his family
So if you find yourself not on the same page as what woman say about me than maybe you need to take hard looks into life and what you want. Simple enough right... lol. You always know you made the wrong choice because pain and eartache shows you but what if you make a choice and uyou do not feel pain or heartache? Get it? - Marty
We work cause we have the same likes and need. He is very closed off emotionally and I feel like he can slowly open that up to me. So he is a mysterious guy. He is very sweet to me but cold to everyone else. We click on humor. We are both witty and future oriented thinking so we Sometimes are on the same wave link when we plan.
Yes I think so. I'm an Infj female and I'm no where near that emotional as you have described. Although my life experiences may have made me less sensitive and emotional. Also my intj partner is sometimes more sensitive than me
Please elaborate, an INFJ female furiously in love with me and I need the data from your relationship in order to advise you if I can, and to also analyze all of the data to deal with my human situational requirements with her. "There exists a void for sure" is a bad sign. Where does your relationship struggle?
If you are the female infj in a relationship with an intj, the worst thing you can do is put in the work. I dated an intj for several years and he was very generous to me, I was always greatful and started to return the favors of doing for him and he turned completely selfish. He gave everything to his horrible ex wife and esfp, she was truly awful and he still gave to her everything when she reciprocated nothing, I had to cut it off. I do not understand the illogic of fi. Fe wants to make those who make it happy, happier, it wants to respond and share the love. He always disrespected that about me (my fe). He still gives to his selfish, narcissistic ex wife (esfp) to this day, i think he’s trying to show her he cares? I really can’t understand it. I’m not the only infj who has experienced this with intj male.
I would only like to add that Alex, your X is not acting out of MBTI but something else. MBTI is allowing you to place things in a box and yes I think you can do that but maybe also look to the person as it relates to inner child self, for some stronger reasoning and also the childhood and parenting or role models. I am sure you see what I am saying and get it. Just a thought for you to consider. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn good point, although I can honestly say I have had horrible experiences overall wirh fi users turning selfish on me when I try and give to them or return the favor. I have never had this issue with my fe friends...even my entp bestie. They/we recognize and reward behavior that feels good and of it doesn’t we don’t reward (or we can harbor resentment). Fi is senseless to me, it favors randomly and if you treat them well they may not recognize it and if you don’t treat them well they can become butt kissers or do whatever they please..I’ve never understood the patterns, I’ve triggered several into odd behaviors I can’t seem to understand. My istj is very patient with me in helping me to understand his emotional reactions and in his son who is and entj so I’m very greatful to learn and hopefully I’ll understand fi a bit more in the future.
My wife(INFJ) and I(INTJ), the way it works is that I'm always learning how to navigate the vast ocean of emotions that she brings to the marriage, I don't think there would be any other way that I could learn how to do that without her.
She is lucky you desire and want to learn. The only thing I would say is that you must still be the leader and play the male role and if you can do both and have been able to stay on that path and she allows that than what a couple. The only flip side is if your childhoods have made you both aware and able to mix roles and she is TRULY an INFJ and even if the male and female roles get broken down, you the male will not leave and she INFJ will stay and not stray and stay committed with her INFJ moral compass. Thus your wife is a TRUE INFJ which would make sense based on her actions. Stay on course and from my view do not look for help in an area of life that looks and reads just fine the way it is. You might fix something that was and is not broken. I hope this makes sense and adds to your comment. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn I totally get where your comment comes from and I appreciate your concern. I forgot to mention that we are both Christians and in our world view the Man is the head of the woman therefore, responsible for her safety and well-being. I take that responsibility with pride and do my best to do what's best our family even if she sometimes does not agree with me everytime. The reason why I wanted to learn how to understand her emotions is because again, in our world view, the woman is to be loved and treated with love, as the weaker vessel and the man is to be respected is his role as the head of the house. We still fight like all couples do but I found that by following God's advice in marriage (we believe he created marriage and knows how it works) rather than people our marriage is growing stronger by the Day. Thank you for your content, it is an absolute necessity that more people know themselves and the people they love. Cheers Brother.
You might find this interesting ... ruclips.net/video/Xl8Td3Y_Tnc/видео.html Let me know what you think as it relates to NOT the video and FAITH but to this video and its message ruclips.net/video/EMNLXdOEBSI/видео.html Both are mine and very connected. After you watch I will be able to talk to your other comment. Well said. - Marty
Me as an INTJ being called an emotionless robot: "Cool!" INFJ being called a psychopath: "But, but..." Both: "Let's be psychopathic introverts together!"
Whoa.. I'm an Infj male but with the qualities of the infj female ig..wtf is that he's fkn right. Absolutely. It makes sense. This one fucking time i meet someone i adore and me picking up the pieces.. I just started takin meds.. i just wanna make it work
This video gave me goosebumps. I would absolutely love a video / deep dive on them in reverse like you did towards the end. Thanks in advance (especially if you already made it) :)
Hey Marty! Thanks for the video!! I squealed with glee when I saw it... I was actually referring to the INTJ as being perceived as psycho/sociopathic as well as cold, etc... (but not actually being), not the INFJ, but no worries. I can see how it could be unclear from my wording, but neither here nor there. Very interesting take & I think my question is answered. I'll admit, not the one I wanted but it is what it is. It's just that introverted intuition gets really heavy sometimes, & it's super appealing that another type leads with the same function. So very few people can relate intellectually to INFJs, much less romantically. Its tough out here for us female INFJs...😑
Man are you an INTJ? I laughed so hard at the but where you told her not to ever breathe those words again, it was funny because it felt like I'm looking at myself but also I fully understand the level of concern you had for her from the amount of times you said you don't want to hurt her feelings, to how blunt you had to be.
So are you saying an INFJ Female whom desires a healthy long-term relationship should abandon an reasonable expectation of it ever being a possibility???
HI. No. What I am saying is if you have been struggling I know why and I am trying to describe it but all hope is not lost. I will do a video on it and try better to explain. TYWC - Marty
Hi Marty, Interesting information, I don't know enough about the other MBTI traits to fully understand, I continue to learn, thanks for explaining. Also, thank you for tossing out sociopath and psychopath from our vocabulary, many people throw out these words without fully understanding how harmful they are. Another great video.
Great and thank you. Yep, many do and I pounce on them for it because it really gets me going. They are serious labels and I have the personal experience to know. TYWC - Marty
Hi @This Is George when an INFJ doesn't know their a INFJ they are very unhealthy and destructive... Especially female INFJ that I am, one thing you should know is that no one chooses how they should be we're all born the way we are, and imagine all the confusion and mixed you're having.... She's probably having it worse... It's painful knowing that you're not like everybody else. Plus the hormones and everything... You will probably never ever understand... INFJ's need people who are going to try and help them as much as they are genuinely trying to help others even though they make mistakes and can come out a certain way to others, that's a bit too much.... Please just leave her alone, and I pray she figures herself out somehow along the way... You will never forget her because she is unforgettable... and please stay away from her you're too negative... Maybe that's why she's now progressing... I'm sorry if I've offended you but I'm just telling the truth...
Ive just come out of a relationship with and INTJ and wished so much I understood our MBTI designations more DURING the relationship. If I had I believe we could’ve made it work. An openly discussed understanding of each other’s character traits would’ve been the key.
I get what you're saying with the widened gap around the 6min mark. But we INTJs are problem solvers, we are more than capable of understanding the this difference and will be eager to learn from our partners. The high intuition means we pick up on all sorts of things even if we dont understand it straight away. We pick up on patterns quickly so despite being very logical we lean heavily on this pattern recognition that isnt exactly logical. It took me a while to understand how i could so logical driven yet rely on and trust 'gut feelings' Feelings are psychology, so while abstract like patterns we're more than capable of working it out and excepting people's differences. I think probably the biggest issue for us is working out those we can trust because we absorb so much, we're left with unsolved puzzles that dont make sense. So to me the INFJ female is heightened in the areas that builds that trust, perhaps to such an extent it allows the INTJ male to lower their guard and grow.
Te vs Fe the cognitive functions in MBTI say that these processes are quite opposite of each other like another language such as the “harsh masculine” German or the more nasley femine French. But language is language and it can be learned over a lifetime. One may never be as good as a native speaker, but they’ll have accents or a personal touch put forth in their words and actions. The language of love of a Te INTJ vs Fe of an INFJ are quite different, but a relationship is a journey not an end point. If there are kids and grandkids your love will persist after you’re dead. It’s a nice thought I try to believe in. One thing that I’ve had to learn many times is that love isn’t enough. It takes work, it takes actions. It’s more than thoughts kept to myself. There was this INFJ woman I thought twice on. Who I might have been willing to change all of my future plans for. To incorporate them in my way of life. Someone I would have been willing to sacrifice some of my individuality and independence for. Even my life if it came to it. For me love seems fickle from a far. Though when it hits, it always seems to sneak up past all the walls, the trials, and second thoughts. That loss of control is terrifying. When a woman with the five character traits of high empathy, compassion, accommodating, accepting, and tender appears before me I might question if this is the real deal in front of me. Is this a diamond in the rough or a geode that looks nice after you uncover the layer of limestone? A diamond doesn’t get to leave the castle gates without a baton, pepper spray, a taser, and a crash course in Krav Maga. Even then I’d still worry. Not that I’d say it out loud. Hey Marty, I think your up and down arrow needs to be turned 90 degrees. They can meet somewhere in the middle. -Mike
Always can meet in the middle, Mike. I need to figure out a way to draw and sound less ' Set in stone ' or ' It is this way or the high way'. I need to find a way to state the middle ground is baked in and that what I say is not the gospel but only a view or path to include within the quiver. Well said. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn I think you’re caught in a “Catch 22” of the format you decide to present in, especially if you are seeking drama or want to drum up a controversial topic for discussion. I don’t mind, in fact enjoy, playing the devil’s advocate from time to time. The potential of presenting one viewpoint vs an attempt to present all views is that one side sounds more confident than views that leave room for interpretations. One view is more likely to influence or sway one to your way of thinking if they are someone looking for answers. A more self assured personality will be seeking more depth and dissenting views to contrast their own. The objective for me is to never be in an echo chamber at least not for too long. My confidence and assertiveness is often merely an illusion as much as the marker on your rabbit-hole-expensive glass. Easily erased and redrawn, often more accurate or more intricate like an artist having another go. I personally have no problem with your approach. The tedium to see if everyone is on the right page and waiting for everyone to catch up isn’t an enviable position. An exercise in patience is probably the answer however cliche it maybe. Interesting video, -Mike
Okay Mike. You said this well. So here is my response: I agree with your approach as to one view vs many views but I cannot stand the academics and they for the most part are not helping and actually fuck people up. As for things I say that are related to my life and experience, we can agree that my view or what I am saying would be the point of my channel. As it relates, the MBTI and my thoughts well do you not think it is fractured enough so how are you calling me out when I am trying to be a purest. What I think is you just have an issue with me and some points I have and maybe you are not sure exactly what it is because I addressed my entire channel within this comment and makes perfect sense to me. But since you said it with IQ and a professional approach why don't you tell me what I said that is the issue. I am listening. If you want? ;) TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn It’s taken me sometime to write a reply. I’ve had to reign in the urge to spill the contents of my mind into a format of text which I don’t think you would appreciate and I would feel guilty burdening you with a wall of text. Where to start, where to end is a topic in itself. Though I have to keep the context of the topics brought here. “The academics” it seems is a choice of words you choose to blame that can be argued to have negative associations. I can understand somewhat. The status quo is currently not the greatest it could be and more attention could/should be applied to mental well being, relationships, and boundaries. Academia provides a foundation of theory of best practices of current information. To me you should be blaming the practitioners for their application of theory without double checking if what they’re doing is sound and ethical or even working as intended. Even then it’s hard for me to blame the practitioners as they often are just working with the resources they have available to them which is often never ideal. On the ground or as they say in the field where theory meets application people fuck up because people are not perfect. Human error, negligence, complacency, and bias can all come into play even with the best intentions or approach. It takes an intellectual to come up with new ideas and theories. Even then an academic can be intellectual, though not always. We all stand on the shoulders of academics, intellectuals, and practitioners alike. I seem to forget sometimes that when I try to dissect and compare another person's thoughts, theories, and opinions to my own potential theoretical constructs, that person may take it personally. Though I would like to point out for clarification I like your impressive glass that you say some academic institutions may use as your own personal standard of quality and professional presentation. On the other hand I will point out what I thought was an inconsistency in the thought process of trying to be a “purist” when I think you might be better served just being Marty Glen, which as you say is the point of your channel. Which I also think is the point others might return to your channel. You have a personal lens I’m quite willing to take into consideration to add to the framework of a quiver to see what sticks, works, or can be applied. Thanks for listening, -Mike
HI. You are exactly right. I think you are trying to give the academics some credit and say that I should be kinder. I agree but remember my view is one3 of pessimism and I cannot change that. Funny how that works. There are some academics that deserve the credit and should be applauded. I unfortunately have not met them. Maybe you have or seen or heard one who does; I think you are lucky. As for being a purist vs just being me? It is hard on RUclips since I have no grey area but firm points no matter how I say it. When I say purist I am always talking to the re-creation of the wheel in that I will not do that. For example what CS Joseph did. That is the foundation but with that said, it is easy to go away from yourself on RUclips and it is a challenge. I work on it every day and always am trying to get back to me. TYWC - Marty
EDIT: wrote a huge post, but after watching more of your videos realized that what I wrote is not factually true. Love your style and no bullshit attitude, by the way :)
I love the colors on this video you used them in the right order yes yes I know my tiny bit of OCD is talking I don't have much of that but when it comes to colors and sound im finicky. It's so nice when someone else gets the order of colors right. I also love the basic simple logic in this video.
HaHa Thanks I do like colors and yes they have to be right. Fuck! Yes! OCD Rules. Just not when you cannot leave the house. Then it is a shit show. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn i dont think that will ever happen to me i love going to the mall too much but that would be a shit show my colors always go purple blue green orange pink and if the screen matches that combo in any way that works i am super happy
Wow. It's really fun being told by you that I should not have been born the way I am. It's also really fun being told that I am married to someone who will let me die.
I've thought aboutthis pairing, but I'm not sure imagine peering into someone's fragile self esteem with a cold exterior, and they can't talk about it with you... maybe the intj being a woman would help, but idk. It would drive me nuts
The relationship works if the INFJ woman is strong enough to tell the INTJ make to knock his shit off. In my case that came with age and walking out on him. The problem with INTJ men is that they think they are always right and it takes a strong INFJ woman to step out of her comfort zone to tell him off and if she doesn’t he will be very domineering. Once the INFJ female has has enough of being condescended too and not having her feelings and opinions respected she will walk out. He might get forgiven once but eventually that’ll be it unless the INTJ man can learn to express himself in a way that is more appropriate. At one point in my relationship I pointed out that my partner wasn’t always right just because he had a dick. I also pointed out that we have exactly the same degree and have worked in the same profession for the same length of time and that if he wanted a woman to be meek and mild and submissive he’d have to look elsewhere. I’m over 40 and I’ve gotten better at setting boundaries over the years. If we’d been together in my early 20s I would have let him push me too far and then I’d be done.
I haven't watched your videos in a while but this caught my eye. I was interested to see what you said about it and, I must admit, I think you are correct that the INFJ female and INTJ male are a terrible pairing. That is based purely on personal experience, admittedly, so I can only speak for myself. My ex husband was an INTJ (sure wish I'd known about this stuff at the time) and, while there is a lot I learned from him and could respect about him (predominantly his mind and his drive), there is nothing in this world that could have kept us happily together. After four years, I had to cut him off entirely in order to regain any self respect I still had left. It was a whole lot of give from my end and a ton of take from his. Looking back, I understand where and why we clashed. We were both still quite young and both a bit (quite) unhealthy for our personality types, but I still very much doubt that maturity on both our sides could make a relationship between us easier than jumping over and over onto a pile of broken glass..
I agree with parts, but you are mainly looking at unbalanced INTJ/ INFJs. Anyone only using their savior functions are going to rip themselves apart. It doesn't matter if it's a jumper type if you don't use your demon functions especially in a relationship things will break apart so fast. With that said IXXJs/EXXPs dating someone of the same dominant function, they need at the bare minimum to develop both judging functions if not their repressed function to a certain point. In this example, 2 Ni Doms getting into a fight about the sensory is more certain than death at that point.
I’m saying that an authentic INFJ female is going to have a tougher time of things than a male INFJ since the female has INFJ traits baked in. Make sense? TYWC - Marty
As a INFJ male. Basically it would be better if I was a woman lol. I would be better as a man as a intj. Great I'm a guy that has the emotions and feelings of a woman lol. Which if I'm not careful will make me cry lol.
Damn I haven’t clicked this video yet bc it was INFJ female and INTJ male Im an INFJ male potentially interested in a INTJ female. I’m astonished by this content, interesting thank you.
Do you have anything wrong? Yes I think so. The emotional, thinking and feeling dichotomies are clearly not as you portray them to be. I think it’s much more complex in typology than what you state in the video. We can not say some gender shouldn’t be born as a certain type because the type has certain traits we do not even grasp the true meaning of. In all superficial statements about it people generalize or diagnose people which is totally wrong. “INFJ females shouldn’t be born as INFJ’s” well they are born and this could not be a mistake at all and you stating such thing creeps me out. Stating such things makes me think you yourself do not exactly know what MBTI is about, …just a reminder, before you know it you got some creepy movement of people saying some type or group, race, belief should not exist and I hope you can remember how these kind of scenarios play out… *oh and as a INFJ I think you got the general definition wrong to determine what being female is about!
6:17 "W-wha-how? HOW- IN THE GODS GREEN EARTH IS ANY OF THIS...HOW does this even happen? folks, this is my same exact thought process (INFJ girl), when i end up crushing on every INTJ i meet. I don't know how. I don't have the answers, Marty.
I would have to say another INFJ with an abused childhood yet very understanding of their healing. The INFJ female, the true one, is a difficult human being to be and live with. Look to what you are as a shadow, ENFP, and if so then your INFJ and just do your best to grow and reflect on yourself. TYWC- Marty
This guy is an INFP …. There the ones who think there thinking is all that and more when it’s obvious it’s not …. iNFJ women are some of the most logical women who can even come across as thinker types …. And they get along well with both INTJ and ENTJ
Great thanks. Question for you, if you can answer me: My channel: 1. Over 500 Videos 2. Channel is over 5 years old 3. 25 - 45 hours a week to maintain my channel 4. I read all comments and have done so since the first comment 5. 45% of all comments on the channel are mine 6. This channel is NOT monetized and will NEVER be monetized 7. I have not made a single penny from this channel; I do it for me Can you please tell me the MBTi types that I should consider that are capable of such an action. IS that the INFP or ??? Thanks ... Let me know in your return comment and please site MBTI, cognitive functions, you know, so I know what to understand about myself. TYWC - Marty
You are too emotional sir . Really unlike an INFJ …. Now I’m even more convinced you are an INFP …. Not once did I insult you but gave you logical reasons why you may not be an INFJ and you proceed to delete my comment and then insult me 🤦🏽♂️ …. There is nothing wrong with being an INFP.
The shadow of the INFJ is the ENFP. It is impossible for me to be an INFP. Oh my fuck. Can you do me a favor and have a great life and please, as I think you mentioned, delete all knowledge of me in your life and both of us will be happy. I want constructive intelligent people to watch me and to comment. You do not fit here. Thank you and again have a wonderful and happy life. - Marty
I have a question. And let me preface by saying I'm not wanting to come across as stupid or anything like that. I do worry that this question will come across that way, however my intrigue is more. You mentioned a woman is already born with said characteristics of an infj then adding the infj to it sends those traits upwards. I have and I'm not sure for how long. I'm going to say since puberty a hormone imbalance where I don't make enough estrogen and I make more testosterone than most women do. If I'm not wording this right I do apologize. But I don't make enough of one and too much of the other. Does this factor in on any level? Or is it something all together on a different level?
I'm certainly not an expert, but I'd love a little more discussion about this. You talk about being female would multiply the infj personality. However, instead of multiplying it, could it have CAUSED it in the first place? With that said, instead of having extraordinary female characteristics, she's just a typical female. I'm an INTJ, and when it comes to choosing furniture, I'm more concerned about function rather than aesthetics. In that case, perhaps the two differences could be complimentary rather than contradictory. I might have limits (I want furniture that's comfortable, and perhaps not pink), then she gets to do whatever she wants within those limits. It seems like it could be fun for her. I will say that I did have an ex, though, who was more emotional (although I don't know if she was an infj, specifically). There were times when she would come to me and talk about someone who was rude and I didn't know how to help because they didn't seem like a big deal. I'm pretty thick skinned, so I didn't understand her struggle. Since I didn't understand her struggle, then I couldn't even begin to know what to do to help. If I was stressed, I just needed to be left alone so I can think. She kept interrupting and wanting to help, but that only made it worse. I think, if there were going to be issues, it would be about things like that. What do you think?
My two best friends are totally incompatible with me according to MBTI. MBTI isn't a truth. It's a guide. People are way more complicated than what it says.
okey i got this now ,i had an bf he was an intj and since he is a mal so he is already though and rational with everything adding to Being an intj ,and im an infj...so i said why dont we Switch like crazy how equal and perfect it would have been ...just wanted to share my thought ,thank you Marty:)
Hey Marty, interesting video and reasoning! l'd like to ask you what do you think about the possibility of an INFJ female and an INFP male, former couple, which a few years after the breakup get to become really close friends. Is that uncommon? How these two typologies interact as partners and how they do as friends? And which kind of relationship is the best for those two types together? I'd really appreciate to hear your opinion on that, thank you.
An emphatic NO from an infj female in a disastrous relationship of 8 years with an infp male. The Fi is just way too much for my Fe to handle and the disorganization is maddening.
This is where the problems are going to be: The Attitude of Introverted is going to make you both feel at home together like you both get it. Alone time and quiet. But the Extrovert Intuition vs the Extroverted feeling. Problems. Also the Judging attitude is going to want to get going and move where the perceiving attitude and the planning , or afraid to move and take a risk is going to make the INFP male look week and scared in the eyes of the INFJ female. TYWC - Marty
Let me see where the good stuff is: INFJ and INTP Hmmmmm. You see that J and the Fe and that P and the Ne vs the Ni and the Ti and then lastly the J vs the P. Here is how this goes: The INFJ is going to be hungry for the INTP to see the world through compassion and warmth where the INTP is going to be asking for more critical thoughts that are objective and the the INTP male is going to be on overload with the planning and thinking and if the INFJ female doesn't totally respect the INTP male thank there is going to be a problem with the strictness of the INTP male vs the ' Lets get going and it is okay if we did not think everything first ' . I could go on but is that enough for now before a video? TYWC - Marty
i dont know how to say this... im an infj female(20) dating a intj male(21) and the struggle is real. i have talked to him about him not talking about his emotions and not talking with me sometimes when he needs alone time even though i understand him fully sometimes it's hard miss how much i care for him and how little he cares for me most of the time.after everytime i talk with him about this issue i started expecting him to act otherwise but it never happens.....what do yall think how would this effect in the future and all......and when we hav those conversations he once said even though he loves me he sometimes forgets that i exist .... i dont know what to think of it.
I'm sorry for your negative experience. I think age plays a great role in your situation. With time INFJ become more independent and robust, able to resist INTJs harshness. And INTJs learn to work with their feelings instead of ignoring them. They become able to open up to theis closest circle. It works for healthy types. For example, you can pursue your career without feeling guilty that you don't pay enough attention to your husband. If he's mature enough he'll be somewhat sensitive to you, showing his cute side and will be able to support you with firm logic when you're loosing yourself in a flood of emotions. You also will have time for your friends and family because he won't be demanding your attention from morning till night. But, as I said before you both have to be healthy and mature individuals being able to talk openly about important matters and accept each other differences.
i am really sorry i was born as an INFJ female, youre right its my mistake. next time i'll make a deal with god to make me something else becasue marty glenn thinks woman shouldnt be born an infj :c
Okay. So here is the truth… The INFJ female sis so rare that I will say 10 out of 10 woman who claim INFJ are not INFJ. Here is why… INFJs are cruel and harsh and unforgiving. Let that sink in for a little while. They are brutally cold and calculating mother fuckers. The INFJ is not an empathetic type. TYWC - Marty
Hmmm... well I don't totally agree with this video, I feel I can't just reply offhand to it without gathering my thoughts. I did appreciate the whole part where you erased the psychopathic/sociopathic part though. I've known INFJ's who basically acted in self-destructive manners because of judging themselves as such. What type would you say is a more ideal match for an INTJ male? And same for INFJ female? Seeing as how switching personality chips is not yet an option.
My crush is intj 🤣 he teases and annoy the baby and the baby gets mad 🤣🤣 then sits with us and pats the baby. He talks in sarcastic way sometimes and I find him sweet and caring. I wonder if he likes me too. I wonder if its just a coincidence that most of his friends dont sit with me. And I find him sitting next to me each meal 🤣. Weird thing he dont talk with me when we are alone and just small talks but when we are surrounded by people , he starts asking me questions. my problem is i dont know how to iniatiate a convo without awkwardness 🤣 me an -INFJ-
You’re looking too much into it. The fact is this: there are two ways to see this problem. One is at face value and with said, the math does not lie. You should switch doors. The other way is to look at the problem as dishonest and flawed. I choose to see the problem as dishonest and flawed and never as a choice to switch. How hard can it be to see that within the video and than for me to judge those who do not see it my way which is the correct way. Why would you ever play a game that you know is dishonest and flawed? TYWC - Marty
Hello Marty, INFJ male late 30s here, subscriber and viewer. I've wanted to ask your opinion on a question. I have a tendency to, and an enjoyment learning new and random "skills". Only to keep them to myself generally and only use them for my own purposes. If I tried to monetize any of them, I no longer enjoy the activity...but I will enjoy it when using it for someone else or myself for free. (Feel free to omit this example for time) to For example, I had a garden and grew produce that I would gladly give away. Then I learned canning to preserve it and would take requests from some people but if they ever tried to put in an "order" I might try to fill it but repeat orders were out of the question. Meanwhile I would gladly make those things for free for others. I also enjoy teaching the random skills I've learned. Though they often come up in random conversation that often surprise others. Do other have this tendancy? Why do you think this might be? Additionally, why the lack of enthusiasm when it becomes a, for lack of a better term "job"? I have a list of examples and plans to learn many more, feel free to omit them as well for time should you answer this question. Fishing, shooting, archery, investing, canning, preserving, cooking, sewing, gardening, organization, first aid, ect.
Yes. What you are talking about is the dreamer and the future thinking. The plans and the hobbies and the learning more is the scratching of the future and ever expanding desire for more knowledge; itch. TYWC - Marty
Hi Glenn,i like your videos..I think in the beginning of your video you misunderstood something… Maybe it’s because you didn’t read it as it was written… Im just asking because when you read it you say that INTJ male behavior can seem to some sociopathic or even psychopathic… And then you put these traits,as mention in the letter,on the side of the INFJ.. Tanks and take care.. Emmanuel
I would have to go back and look and listen but you might be right on that as I do not exactly remember that and to say what you are saying seems a little over the top. There might be something to it. What time in the video was it? TYWC - Marty
I just watched it and yes that is correct. I do not think I read that as intended and so the entire video would have an off sense about it and sorry for that. Sometimes that happens and there it is. I do hope the rest of the video has good points for you and others who caught that error. - Marty
@@marty_glenn Yes good video especially this one since i am intj and my girlfriend infj.. I get your point and it gives a really good insight.. I also laughed when you mentioned woman’s basic traits plus being an infj… Right on point Thanks..
Great video but I do believe anybody can make things work if they are complimentary towards each other the mpti is just for self learning or learning more about somebody else but please don't say it won't ever work out that's just stupid no disrespect
INFJ = Introverted Intuition ( Extroverted Feeling ) | Thinking | Extroverted Sensing INFP = Introverted Feeling ( Extroverted Intuition) | Sensing | Extroverted Thinking Here is the good and the bad and the ugly: The INFJ is leading with thoughts both past and prsent and the INFP is leading with feelings backed by the sense and the secondary to the INFP is selfish intuition where the the INFJ is leading with selfless intuition and more thinking. The inferior or last for the INFJ is selfish sensing and the INFP is selfish thinking. Does that give you food for thought? TYWC - Marty
I don't think this guy knows what intervertebral intuition is. Also with maturity our showdow functions develop enabling us to relate. This in in addition to having complimentary thinking and feeling.
You know it’s interesting. In over two years , 430 videos and over 10,000 comments not one single thing I have ever heard or read or have been told has said what you have. Can you tell me how that could be? TYWC - Marty
If you like him why not, just be aware of your different approaches. Mbti types are meant to help you understand yourself and others. But life isnt an absolute mathematical equation you can work out ahead of time so take a chance and see what happens. Wish you the best
That's exactly what I was thinking when I heard INFJ and INTJ are the best match... who do you think might be the best match for a INFJ female? Great video by the way!
@@marty_glenn Amazing! Well, I've heard that ENFPs and ENTPs might be the best match, but as a female INFJ I personally feel like I need that stronger feeling-factor in my partner... And on top of that, maybe it wouldn't even be that bad for an INFJ to date an extrovert, but only as long as the partner gives the INFJ some private time as well. I'm saying that, because (at least in my case) there are a lot of things we'd like to do, but only with our closest ones, so it'd be nice if someone could put us a little bit out of our comfort zone. Something else I personally search for in a relationship as well might be these long and deep conversations about possibilites, the meaning of life etc., not only facts or that one "right way" to do or think about something. So I feel like intuitive types might be better here. But to be honest, I don't know a lot about other MBTI-types, so I could have gotten the wrong idea here, so it's just my personal opinion which might change when I find out more about other types.
Well... you need to get out there and show some smiles and some skin and set some solid boundaries and stand firm by them and see how it goes. Until you try that; I cannot help. lol ;) - Marty
Marty hilarious at the end there... self satisfied in your fleshing out of the two possible relationships. So funny. So a female born an INFJ is a very unfortunate thing. I know you have said this before. Everything is cranked up through the roof. That is what I saw initially with my ex. I thought she did life to the max. I thought she was the most compassionate, the most loving, the most... most! If that makes any sense. But coming out the other side, I question the whole thing. If all those things were truly cranked up like that in a genuine way, you would have a saint walking the earth. However, there is something self absorbed about it all it seems. And the SELF is ultimately the only thing that matters. So it is no wonder philosophically that she gravitated towards nihilism and absurdism. I am not sure what to think about it all now. I try to look at it a lot of different ways now, but I also keep running into people who offer outsider input about experiences with this individual. What other people experience is not so tender, loving, compassionate etc. Perhaps there was more wrong than what can be found within the MBTI of this person? She has since our parting become more and more planned and calculated. She was not this way previously. It’s a strange thing to witness. She gives me anxiety and I’m not even with her. Wish that would stop. Give me peace.
What you are dealing with is something different and maybe your vision needs to change and become more precise. When a woman is hurt or security is threatened MBTI does not matter. You are dealing with a female. TYWC - Marty
There can be many things at play here, but without the bigger picture, I can't tell you if her muchness was "fake." Much of the learning INFJs do and the way we treat people is genuine. It's difficult for some people to like genuine because they feel judged...when in fact, they aren't being judged. I've noticed recently, in conversations, someone will say something and another goes out of their way to be insulted. I feel INFJ women may not be understood because we are genuine and our utmost goal is to provide an environment for people (whether through example or opportunity) to be their best self. It isn't always appreciated and lesser people think there other motives. As a result, I've stopped trying as much and just go on my way.
Due to our strange nature, we have 2 sides in us: deep empathy and cold logic. The healthy INFJ learns to use both in a harmonious way: cold logic to protect our soft feeling nature. But when we're unhealthy we tend to fall down into one of these extremes: eather go into a victim mode or become some psychopathy-like.
![What it's like to have Inferior Extraverted Sensing [INFJ and INTJ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/p_f6gf0a0i4/mqdefault.jpg)
INFJ female here , we are not nearly as emotional as you think. INFJ females and INTJ males are highly compatible , we balance each out in the most beautiful way.
Honestly, I really like his discussion, but I don't understand why he thinks he's right. It would be far more interesting and accurate if you just described what would come up these relationships instead of telling people wasn't you because of his own crappy experience.
This! If you score really high on thinking as an INFJ (like 49% thinking, 51% feeling) then you have no problem switching on logic in these situations.
I recently began talking a lot with an INTJ male and he really likes speaking with me because we can discuss topics very smoothly.
If you switch to intj female and infj male... she would eat him for lunch...😂😂😂 have you met INFJ males??? The male is far more sensitive than the female. Intj male needs the infj female as he speaks with a lot of non verbal communication that only the intuitive nature of an infj female can understand over other types. So I'm sorry you are way off. Remember the paradox factor of the true INFJ. We also do not attach feeling to logic and are blunt which the INTJ male admires the most.
I'm intj and I would love to find an infj girlfriend
As i just replied, INFJs are problem solvers as well. We'll figure out how to make it work. When that can be achieved id agree, it appears the perfect match. We can understand each other, the inner worlds in our heads, our need for chill/ alone time and general thought processes. As an INTJ male i couldn't think of anything worse than an extrovert female who is trying to drag me out all the time and when at home gives me no down time. That is much harder to deal with imo as it clouds and weakens our thought processes.
Recently i meet an INFJ female and its simply amazing how easy and relaxed our conversations are. One amazing thing early on we touched on a few subjects like exs and finances and i probably dug myself a hole because to me i needed to give enough information for things to make sense to them logically. It was like, oh shit how do i stop this because its probably not where we should be at this stage. The amazing thing was, the moment i paused thinking that, she went straight into explaining her situations. It was like she knew immediately id left myself open and perhaps vulnerable and matched it with her own.
Not sure how many others would even pick up on what she did, but as an INTJ male i can tell you that i did the moment she spoke. That level of empathy and understanding is huge for us INTJs and the best way to earn our trust. I can promise that is still floating around in my head all the time because its so unlike behaviors ive witnessed in the past, its like i immediately see her inner beauty.
Actually this is 100% true. After chatting with her the first time (when the above happened) i asked if she'd taken a personality test before and explained i think she might be the rarest type, but i couldn't remember exactly what it was, but called it a unicorn type lol. Next morning she tells me she did the test and was an INFJ, i look it up and sure enough she's a unicorn. I tell this story because if INTJs are so incapable of understanding the INFJ how on earth did i pick she was likely one when i had less than 2% chance of being right?
And to add to the INTJ suitability, guess why im here? Yep to understand what problems we might face and being prepared to understand her better. Its our thirst for knowledge and understanding that drives us to find these things out.
Most compatible couple. Pure femininity and pure masculinity balancing each other in a relationship.
This is me and my husband. We have our struggles, especially with parenting. He’s black and white and I tend to care more about “why” and explaining things. We’ve learned to compromise but it’s still hard sometimes. Over the years I’ve learned to be less emotional and more logical and he’s learned to stop and try to understand my why. I don’t take his logic and criticism personally, I know that’s just how his brain works. He shows his love in lots of little practical ways. I jokingly say he’s the only person I can stand being there when I want to be “alone”. He doesn’t drain my energy. I don’t have to feel pressured to go do stuff because we both like routine and time at home. We have fascinating deep conversations and he listens well. Does he struggle to empathize sometimes? Yes! But he tries and that’s the thing that matters so much to me as an INFJ. I feel like he sees me and wants to see the real me which is heady stuff for someone who’s felt invisible their whole life.
CV Same for me and my wife. My wife says the exact same thing as you about being alone together. Haha we actual have the same struggles as you do. I have define rly learned to be more empathetic and she has learned to think somewhat differently.
Great comment. TYWC - Marty
Good for you Robert. TYWC - Marty
Wow wow wow!!!! I'm super excited that I'm not the only one in this situation. I'm also married to an INTJ man who I love to death, and he loves me too but our personalities and way of thinking are in different dimensions... And it's very hard to deal with on both parts we are both sacrificing a great deal in everything trying to change or alter the very essence of your being and who you are... It's crazy....
Very crazy but it works and here we are... Never fully understanding each other but still fighting to come down to the others level of thinking... It's extremely painful....
Maybe he's an ISTJ...
First, INFJ females statistically dominate the category for INFJs, the same for male INTJs and finding the opposite side for gender is harder than finding the original pairing to begin with, which is already a statistical nightmare. Secondly, you're probably accurate that on paper it doesn't make sense, but with maturity (late 20s for both after relationship exp) this can be one of the greatest pairings an INFJ or INTJ can know. Sharing Ni dom is extremely significant. Add in maturity and I promise you, the connection you will feel instantaneously with the other party would make your jaw hit the floor. Mature INFJ/INTJ couples exemplify what romantic human relationships should look like
There is also the difference between behavior and actual cognitive function. But I think your comment is correct and well said. TYWC - Marty
This.
You think it would be better for me as a male. To be a intj instead of INFJ. I feel it would be.
We are INFJ M and INTJ F couple. The devotion and love are incredible, but everything else doesn't work.
Very difficult combination, because as an INFJ I'm much more rational and logical than she is. She is super emotional as an INTJ.
This is so encouraging, thank you. I'm an INFJ female (mid 30's) with an INTJ male (early 40's) pursuing me. Our conversations have been going well thus far and he's been consistent in his communication. He did however seem off today. He just went quiet all afternoon yet he's still socialising with other people. Did you experience ghosting from your husband when you were eating? One video I watched says, when an INTJ goes quiet on you, they are internalising everything and need space.
INTJ male here.
I have some arguments:
1) Usually the giga masculine men (thinker man) get very attracted to the giga feminine women (feeler woman) and vice versa. Balanced individuals usually attract other balanced individuals (male feeler with female thinker).
2) The Te and Ti and the Fe and Fi have a unique give and take and appreciating each other relationship. Fi and Ti seem to be insecure, whereas Fe and Te flaunt themselves over their ability. Te brings up Ti, and Fe brings up Fi.
3) The mutual Ni and Se and both being Ni Dom means they see the world the same way and prioritize the same things (Ni patterns).
I argue this is in fact a very highly compatible relationship.
I have over time have changed a few views and can see your points. The shadow side is something to consider. I believe my opinion stated with this video has more personal then static. But I am sure if either person is higher on the feeling and thinking then midway there could be issues but you make great points. Well said and I am sure others will find your comment in opposition valuable as I do. Well said. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Thank you, Marty! The meetings of minds over topics of interest was the whole point, and I appreciate your point of view.
I certainly believe the sweet spot is a balance of "opposites attract" and "likes keep the attraction".
Folks in Objective Personality posit there are 32 different variations of each type. I am sure your personal experience was valid, given the kind of INTJs you came across.
@@marty_glenn My 2 cents, it is the FJ verses the TJ when making the decision over something. It is not always the same decision between the two.
XNFJ works better with XNFP.
while XNTJ works better with XNTP.
Thanks.
My gf is INFJ and I am INTJ but we are a perfect match... we can never run out of things to talk about, we do everything together, help fix each other flaws, and She helps me show my emotions for her.
Maybe you are both mis typed. Maybe you are not. Guess what? Who gives a shit... ;) Go with it and keep up the personal study and you cannot lose no matter what MBTI says. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn haha we are a very rare couple and it makes us both stronger we watched this video together and couldn’t stop laughing 😂
I'm INFJ and my boyfriend is INTJ, 3 years into the relationship and we're the perfect couple
INFJ female here; This is brilliant and so very helpful! My INTJ partner told me he felt my son was a sociopath because he wouldn’t talk to him (says the guy who rarely talks). My son has since tested as an INTJ 😆😆😆
😄 🤣 😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 got a laugh with that......
I am an INFJ married to an INTJ for 35 years this next January. I love him dearly and he is my world. I was a very timid young wife but life toughens us all and we balance each other out. His type will always be more dominant but he doesn’t bully me. He is incredibly tender underneath all his toughness and I am incredibly stubborn and a workaholic. We have made it work very well! Those words you say should be ever said again...you are SPOT ON. We could never ever ever be those. I enjoy your videos very much!
That is great. One thing that is hard for me and the videos is that I cannot ever be 100%; 80/20 is the best I could ever hope to achieve so I am glad you enjoy the videos and they are worthy of your time. Always doing my best. TYWC - Marty
Thanks for commenting I'm INFJ and my husband is INTJ and we're really trying it out everyday with trust communication and love it's not easy though... Two years in marriage now
I quite enjoyed this video, thank you. I'm an INFJ, and your comments about bringing traits like empathy to the moon made me laugh. I can relate. I can only speak from my own experience, but my long-time boyfriend is an INTJ. We absolutely understand each other emotionally. He understands that my emotions run deep and I relate to others on a deeply emotional level. Conversely, I understand that he is not as in-touch with his emotions, but he does have them! And talking about our differences has helped a great deal as well discussing our love languages. While I'm more vocal, he is not, but he expresses love in other ways, such as by cooking for me. Our relationship has been very strong from the start as a result of our communication. I believe an INFJ (F) and an INTJ (M) relationship can absolutely work.
Edit: I thought of an example after-the-fact, so I'm sorry for writing a lot. When my boyfriend and I watch a sad movie, it is guaranteed to make me sob my eyes out because I emphasize with the characters. While I'm sobbing my eyes out, my boyfriend will start to laugh because he's seeing me cry over a movie, which logically, makes no sense. Because I can emphasize with how he is feeling and why he's laughing, it makes me laugh, and it cheers me up. It's a silly example, but I think my ability to understand other people, such as my boyfriend in this situation, makes the relationship so strong. I don't think it matters which person (male or female) is the INFJ in the relationship because there will always be an empathetic connection to make it work.
As they say...no matter the type... communication is key.Pure gold. :) TYWC - Marty
Thank you for this comment. I am about to give up with an intj after seeing this video. Your experience is a hope to at least give it a try
Lol! As a female INFJ I have been saying this for years. “My personality is gods cruel joke”
Yes😩
;) Not so funny I know. TYWC - Marty
Many feel the same way and I get it you know that. TYWC - Marty
My wife is INFJ a and I am a INTJ and we get a long fantastic we have very good open communication for both mature enough to see are strengths and our weaknesses and we rely on each other in those areas. For us it is a perfect match. She's logical enough to understand that I think differently and see things differently than she does. And even though I don't deal with my emotions the same way I am mature enough to understand how important they are to other people and how important they are to her. And I always approach situations with that thought in mind we get a long perfectly.
Fuck MBTI - Great Relationship no matter what is a win. Big WIN! That is hard work and self reflection. ;)) TYWC - Marty
INTJ male here who has been dating an awesome INFJ woman. As an INTJ the emotion / empathy does not always come naturally, however like all things skills can be developed. Her soft, kind and empathetic nature is one of the many things I love about her. I think a lot of INTJ get type cast as cold and calculating and and that's it, upbringing and experience likley has a lot to do with this, I was raised by my sister, mum and Dad, 2 X ENFP and dad.... Not sure maybe a true INTJ, however I have a very soft side and actually genuinely want the best for all the people in my life, it's not always big business thinking, it can certainly be people focused. I like to think if the INTJ male can turn his ability to study, learn and understand the INFJ it will make life much easier longer term. Would be easier like you say I'm some of your other videos if the INFJ go to the point and said exactly what they need too at times it would be easier on an INTJ who is not generally easily offended. We have cracking conversations and connect on so many levels it leaves me in awe. However can also see how it could be an issue if she's an immature INFJ, my other sister is INFJ as well, and her marriage is.....door slammed under one roof, so this is a concern. Were both in our late 30s, so will be interesting to see how it plays out. I'm hopeful. Any advise for the INTJ ?
Ya here is some advice:
1. Watch the video on ghosting
2. Watch the video on Love and Trust
See how those two help you. ;)) Keep going. Sounds like your path is a good one. TYWC - Marty
I think you said that you are in your late 30s? Your Fi and her Ti is developed by now so it's easier for you to see where her emotions are coming from and for her to see where your logic is coming from. Like you said, maturity is the key. As an INFJ female in her late 20s, I would suggest that you try to understand that empathy comes to us naturally for good people as well as for bad people because we see potential in everyone irrespective of who they are. However, we won't fear to call someone out if they are morally wrong. Just don't try to repress her emotional side because then she would feel suffocated. Let her cry while watching sappy movies. Let her make mistakes and learn from them herself. Don't provide solution to her every problem because sometimes all we need is not solution but an ear to listen to us. We can find solution to our problems most of the time if not all the time. Let her know that even if sometimes it's hard for your logical brain to understand her, you still appreciate who she is as a person and would not change a single thing about her. If you do that, I promise we are emotional but not irrational. We are using our Ti all the time. Though you may not notice because it's an introverted function. But considering you are already doing a great job, I hope my advice will only help you understand her needs more.
I am an INFJ in my 30s. I would say just ask her and be open to communication. It is easy to shut down when conflict arises but neither INFJ or INTJ want conflict. You'll have to observe her love language and go from there. Most INFJs are willing to work with you on anything as long as they know you are in it as well. Nothing worse than being abandoned emotionally or left to handle problems by yourself. If you are willing and she is willing you will overcome. Also, as fragile as an INFJ appears they don't always need a savior.
I’m an INTJ female, in love with a INFJ male, and it’s perfection. I like your explanation on this. We love to have a lot of quiet 🤫 time, lots of 📖. Marty, you’re wonderful at explaining this; you’ve helped me navigate my relationship with the INFJ man, well.
P.S. your new haircut 💇🏻♂️ is excellent. Your hairdresser, is very talented.
Great and thank you. I see your IG marvelle. Hello Canada. ;) TYWC - Marty
I am in the fledgling stages of the same type of relationship. It is very exciting. Oddly enough, working through our communication differences is stimulating rather than frustrating. I also have a propensity to engage in various extroverted activities, so I am hoping this will add even more to the dynamic.
INTJ male here. My wife is an INFJ. We have been married for 9 years. It is not always perfect, at times we really have to put in a lot of effort to make it work. However we love each other and trust each other immensely! It can be done 😊
Great for you. I hope anything I do helps make it easier and better. Actually I just care that you get more action. lol :)) TYWC - Marty
INFJs are not just touchy-feely, but can be very rational and blunt too!
Yes. TYWC - Marty
INFJs are men on the inside, female on the outside
INTJs are females on the inside, males on the outside
buut yeah blindspot Te and blindspot Fe still makes INFJ mostly hearty and INTJ mostly brainy, still..!
Btw fun fact, I found that INFJ males are more soft than INFJ girls, tbh. INFJ girls are more harsh than INFJ bois for whatever reason
According to a small survey the INFJs that had married:
INFP = 10 peeps
ENTP = 6 peeps
INTJ INFJ ISFJ ENFJ = 5 peeps
ENFP ISTP INTP ENTJ = 4 peeps
The INFJ females seemed to have preffered INFPs, while the male INFJs preffered INFJs. This was "has married" rather than initial attraction preferences.
The INFJ INFP relationship is in my understanding challenging in the beginning. However once that it works it seems to hold very good in the long term.
Imo the real issue with INFJ INFP pairing is if it happens fast in the beginning without starting as friendship, as the INFP will feel smothering to the INFJ.
I believe INFJs have avoidant attachment and INFPs have anxious attachment, meaning that this should be a challenge it demands alot of growth, yet I suspect the reward is very high and why these people marry succesfully..
INTJ INFJ ISFJ imo is the best options for INFJs who want people who already understand how to relate with their childhood wounding. That means.. less conflict, less feeling of wanting to run away. However on the downside I think if conflicts truly does arrive in these relationships they might turn out very nasty. But I also think they are not likely to happen easily.
INFP will probably create more conflicts, but if the INFJ dares to be vulnerable and brave, she can find these conflicts healing rather than destructive, like a painful dark night of the soul (I mean dare to have conflict resolution face to face rather than over text etc).
The INFP INFJ relationship can imo turn into both a disaster and a dream depending on how well they get through the anxious vs avoidant, it's a fair amount of shadow work and blind trust required. Both will see each others flaws very clearly, which is not good if the people don't think they have problems themselves too?
INFJ INTJ is not a bad pairing I believe, even if the INFJ is female. But it comes with a set of challenges like everything
Spot on. I am an INFJ female and I was recently (unceremoniously) dumped after a 7 year relationship with an INTJ male. Looking back it's painfully clear to see how much room I made for him and how little he understood me or my feelings (or WANTED to understand). It was a classic case of one person giving and giving and the other taking and taking. Hard to look back and realize I allowed that to happen for so long. Hard to realize how much responsibilty I had in allowing it to happen. It was a disastrerous pairing and I should have stepped away long ago. Difficult lesson to learn.
But i don't wanna let go. We broke up but i somehow talked her in.
I am an INFJ female too and really liked , adored an INTJ man and he said that he really liked me too but slowly he drifted away without giving any clear reason just vague excuses one being that I am over emotional and passionate . It’s been over 1.5 years and still I haven’t been able to move on and want to chase him and reinitiate atleast to be friends , should I do that or will he lose all respect for me ?
@@CynicalRealist8488dear, i do have the same experience as yours. If i could give you advice, please love yourself first and let him go :)
As an INTJ male its hard for me to understand that he didnt want to understand lol
Its what we do, we have to solve the puzzles. With our relationships being super important to us all its only natural we try to understand it.
Infj females are highly tuned individuals. We have high standards for our partners. Im with a INTJ male and he is has a a hard time understanding what I need but is patience with me
When i first viewed this video, about a year ago, i hated it because i had met a nice INFJ female...didn't work out as desired. Having since been with a different female INFJ as you describe here, for the past 6 months (Astonishing lady!), now a defunct relationship, i see how this video relates perfectly!
Sorry, but I am INFJ-t and my husband is INTJ-t, and we don't have these sort of interpersonal struggles with each other. Our deep intuitition fuels each other's insights and we really balance each other out. Its like we have different ways of doing...math, for an analogy..but we get to the same conclusions. We often very opinionatedly argue on the how to do things, but when we sit down to strategize, we make a rather formidable team. Yes, he is less concerned about preserving people's feelings in the pursuit of a goal. He cares deeply for people, but he prefers to find the most efficient means to an end. Aware of this, he reaches out to me to help evaluate his thinking behind his actions, and I then help him see what he needs to do and say to appeal and motivate people to go along, or to point out when a communication breakdown occurs, especially nonverbal ones. I turn to him to help me not to lose sight of details and to sharpen my logic/argumentation skills, to express myself more clearly. He is better at developing and starting a plan. I am better at seeing a plan through to completion.
But I do wish to thank you for dispelling these really negative myths about the INFJ and INTJ personality types.
We are all different yet same. Nice comment and happy for you; reads very well rounded. That is always a good thing regardless of anything else. TYWC - Marty
We do care about people, but probably think of it more along the lines of - We want to help as many people as possible and only have X resources. How are they best deployed to achieve that goal.
My opinion. ___
I think it depends on what is shaping you in your life journey. I am an INFJ female but i can think logically and have a very critical thinking. I questions every tasks that is given to me even if it sit right with my intuition. I will speak the truth even if it's hurt someone's feeling because sometimes truth and logic must be address. I do make decisions based on feeling but at the same time i think of the pros and cons of the current situation. A mature INFJ ( INFJ who are forced to develop their Ti in a critical situations, because that is one of the way for them to develop their logic and reasoning functions) are known as having a well balanced Fe and Ti although they are likely to use the Fe .
Same goes to the INTJ male. If they can balance the Ti and Fe functions, they can understand well why everything happened the way it is. But of course with a lot of considerations, thinking and understanding. For example, maybe, an INTJ that grew up in a well loving family and are exposed to the tenderness of a family or an individual are likely to developed a well-balance Ti and Fe functions, with more Ti development and an INFJ who grew up in a very strict family with a lot of competition and fights in order to be a decent human, will developed a well-balanced Fe and Ti, with more Fe development. We can't said that both INFJ and INTJ have the said amount of Fe and Ti development since both have their own extroverted Fe and Ti, but what we can safely know is that a well developed Ti in an INFJ are they don't rely 100% on their Fe alone but also think logically about what is happening. Same goes to INTJ. A well Fe development in an INTJ is that they know everything are not about logic and critical thinking, some need to be consider from how you feel and how others can accept it without any misunderstanding and reached the target audience.
In my opinion, if both are expose to this kind of situation, there are high chance that they can develop a relationship. Not a perfect one, but something that is enough to make their eyes open about how balance and efforts are require in order to make a healthy relationship/ partnership.
The reason i said INFJ are forced to develop their Ti in a critical situations, as that is one of the way for them to develop their logic and reasoning functions; is because INFJ are known as a soft and sensitive by nature. If they are surrounded by more of the softness and kindness, they likely to be hypersensitive and will mistaken INTJ (or others MBTI) bluntness as an insult or criticism. Kinda glad i grew up in a harsh environments because that helped me in my Ti development. People sometimes mistaken me as an INTJ or ENTJ, but i'm sensitive and caring most of the time so INFJ/ENFJ suit me better. 😜
Worthy of a read. Well said. Great information here… TYWC - Marty
I’ve always thought the INTJ female INFJ male would be a good match
Better shot than the other way around. TYWC - Marty
I beg to differ. I'm INFJ woman and my fiance is INTJ man and we mesh incredibly well. It feels sexist how you said that women are already extremely compassionate, empathetic, etc. because I know many women who are the exact opposite of me. We have very little problems in our relationship. The way you describe INFJ female is as if our emotions are on steroids and that's highly incorrect.
Well said and interesting. Have you ever heard of the 80/20 Rule and do you know what it means? TYWC - Marty
I agree
True. I didn't like this video at all.
Yeah, I'm an INFJ woman and happened to be with an INTJ male for a short time, which just turned out to be terrible, because our major values and imaginations when it comes to expressing feelings or emotions or in general about what the relationship should be like.... just couldn't meet up ... although one of my best friends happens to be an INTJ female, this works out much better at least for me, but just because I'm not in love. When I was in this relationship I felt this hunger for being understood emotionally and just felt ridiculously emotionally and misunderstood. I felt like I was real small and anxious. I couldn't make a real connection to his heart most of the time. On the other hand, for him, it was really struggling to pay attention to all of those feelings and don't hurt me. It was just too much for both of us. It couldn't work.
I'm not saying it is impossible to work, maybe with a different person it would. That's just my experience with one person.
Now I'm together with an ENFP male which happens to be so so easy and he understands me, my feelings and what's going on with me. With him it is possible to connect on a deeper level. But well, I guess it's not good picking partners because of personality types. If you really feel, you can connect with someone and you feel great spending time with this person, it shouldn't matter which personality type they are.
____
Thanks for your video, it helped me seeing why it felt the way it felt.
You are welcome and you have it right. MBTI is just a small tool within the tool chest. TYWC - Marty
I am infj female. Thank you so much for immediately correcting the embarrassingly ignorant statement "they are psychopaths"! Its like stating a mountain goats natural environment is the ocean. Infj woman live for love. (Mother Theresa infj female btw!)
You are welcome and when the truth is there and clear; there is no reason to allow it to not be seen or heard. In this case, it was the correcting of that point. TYWC - Marty
It's so hard to accept any of this when there is so much assumption based upon obvious personal experience.
God makes no mistakes. Infj women are here for a purpose.
You’re definitely winging it bro and I need to know what INFJ female broke your heart. Yikeeessss
You are funny Dee. ;) Thank you for the comment. Over the last few weeks I have really learned a lot. Would you like to know something that I have learned and will show within a video(s)? Please keep reading if you do but if you do not (It could burst your INFJ bubble) just know that you have been warned if you keep reading... :)
I think, and I believe it is more then 50% of the internet, does not even have a clue what the foundation of the cognitive functions are. Jung ( you know who he is right ) and his foundational ideas that built MBTI have been stripped by RUclips and the internet and so many RUclips channels and internet (IG) sensations have taken away the true meaning of Jung's work.
The reality is that they have mostly based it all on 'Empath' or 'Introverted' or 'Extroverted'. As far as 'Thinking' or 'Feeling', that is just another bad situation all together. It is so fractured and disrupted it is crazy to me.
I do appreciate your comment but I am betting you are under 30, more closer to 25, and if you are not younger than 30 then I really need to keep my mouth shut because that would make my impression of your comment to me, that much more representative of a higher level of ignorance.
How you watched this video and than comment that I was hurt by an INFJ female is so representative of the foundational ideas of RUclips and IG MBTI and the 30 and younger crowd it is silly to me.
So, yes... Bro... I am winging it but keep watching me and what I will show you is this:
What I have given you within this comment is more time out of my life than I should have. Based on your comment, I should have just asked you not to watch me anymore and go back to other channels that tell you what strokes your self esteem instead of showing you the truth and what is. You see my channel and the comments I write to my viewers are based on 50 years of life, a hard and one that has depth, that also includes 25 years of no internet or social media as well. Can you imagine your life with ZERO internet or cell phone? I can. I did it; I was born in 1970. When were you born?
If you watch other videos I have done, try within the first 150, I think you will see details and information that will substantiate this video and its message. Exposing the reason, you affected me with your comment, and why I would take the time to respond within this manner. So please keep reading for the conclusion...
I am an INFJ and online and in this forum, I can take the time, by myself, and respond to you and write and write and delete and delete and write and write being CONFRONTATIONAL or based on your comment appear to you that I was hurt by an INFJ female and have zero understanding of MBTI.
This appears so NOT INFJ but in the real world because it IS online and has no face, you do not know the difference between the INFJ online vs offline because you do not know what an INFJ looks like offline because your entire life is based ONLINE. You do not know the difference between when you start and when you finish with regards to you that is digital vs the you that is not digital.
Would you like to know what I would do if we were in person having a face to face discussion?
I would have listened to your words, than read you and your entire life based on everything the INFJ does and can do by just standing or sitting within 2 feet of you...
...within seconds...
....smiled....
...then, said goodbye to you, and do exactly what I am going to do now, which is...
Not giving you another second of my life, for at this moment, I know it is a complete and total waste of my time.
I am betting this comment is a complete and total mind blowing experience for you in that you have never heard or ready anything like it before. I think just for a moment you might question those around you now who claim to be INFJ's based on this little exchange between us. Do not fret Dee, for I play this game of life at a totally different level and with close to 300 videos and counting, I can show it and pretty much prove it.
How is that for an INFJ self esteem and door slam?
Have a great life Dee. Watch me? Do not watch me? I do not give a fuckin shit for I was not hurt by an INFJ female. I was hurt by the countless Malignant Narcissists I have allowed to enter my life because I was fooled into trusting them, which I did, again and again, only to later have to walk away with nothing to show for it; licking my wounds as I wonder what the fuck is wrong with me and my alien life.
TYWC - Marty
Lol did not see that novel coming when I clicked "see more"
@@marty_glenn You know what, let’s dance 💕I really wanted to like this video, but in my 32 years of being here 😉, and two combat tours, I can honestly say that as an INFJ I have the most rewarding relationships with extroverted thinkers. Even fellow Introverts. They appreciate my wisdom, I appreciate their grounded rationality. Many other videos done by people who can go five minutes without stumbling and shouting expletives at their subscribers would say exactly what I’m saying right now
Jung is the framework of modern psychology, no doubt, but much of his gendered conclusions are outdated and wrapped up in the ideas of women during that time.
INFJ women are assertive, capable of reason, not just somewhere knitting and crying. I for example was a soldier, and I was for a long while.
You have gender bias, and we all do to some degree, but you could barely contain yourself in the video as you just cussed and ranted at a layman subscriber of yours for misusing words like “psychopath” when you should assume your following would be a group of folks that are curious, but lesser learned than you, and maintain your bearing
I was really waiting on you to explain to her why those were inappropriate terms, but she’s an INFJ female, and sticking it to her was more rewarding than appreciating a teachable moment, because of your bad experiences with them in the past. It’s obviously deeply personal and irrational
“Women shouldn’t be born INFJ” is very Hitler-esque. I know he’s also popularly assumed to be INFJ.
So, yes, sir, your slip is showing indeed. I will watch your other videos still, and I’m subscribing to you, expect more of this commentary 🌻
Wow did he really delete dee's response? It was perfectly calm, rational and made sense but God forbid anyone with two brain cells challenges you. Weak and manipulative.
Dmb Paints.... ;)
You said: "Wow did he really delete dee's response? It was perfectly calm, rational and made sense but God forbid anyone with two brain cells challenges you. Weak and manipulative."
My response: I have NEVER done what you said nor will I ever do what you are accusing me of. My channel and this comment section is a unicorn on RUclips. Dee's comment was anything but what you are claiming it to be and I was only off by 2 years on the age of the person behind the comment yet wrong on the under 25. Yet, still pretty accurate on the comment and what I would do in person.
I have not done videos in a while for a reason and Dee's comment and your comment are 90% why I have not. In fact, you both should do my channel a big favor...
Do not watch me and do not comment. Just go away. Do that for me and I can assure you that your life will be better off and you will make me very happy. Thank you. Take care and I wish you both a very happy and healthy life. - Marty
So I thought the comment was referring to the INTJ as appearing "sociopathic" on the outside, not the INFJ. But it is kind of hard to tell in the way it's written. Very interesting assessment, though. As an INFJ female, I don't think I could handle being with someone who can't empathize well. Since I'm doing it constantly, I need the favor returned sometimes. I've actually read somewhere that the ENFJ is the perfect match... I think. I always get ENFJ and ENFP mixed up. But it's whatever my husband is... I just remember reading that and laughing. I think we do pretty well.
The attitude of Extroverted will create the abuser within an INFJ relationship. The Extrovert has a problem with subjective emotions and feeling. I think I can tie the Extroverted to childhood trauma and Borderline and Malignant Narcissism. In future videos to come. TYWC - Marty
🙋🏼♀️INFJ here, married to INTJ. Can be brutal!! Constant work….which he expects to be done by me.
I am an INFJ male I think my father is INTJ. In fact I believe it strongly.
Me and my father rarely get along. Somehow with time I learned to respect his nature... It took me time and pain. He hasn't yet learned to respect my way but he tries (reasonable). On the subject here's what I think: INFJ female +INTJ male = hurt or even worse, war
Yes. Truth. TYWC - Marty
Love the fact that your profile picture is the Joker from the dark knight!
Marty, Deeply value this explanation of compatibility. I needed to see this switch to be in a direct course to find a male in my range of suitability. INTJ female here, it has been interesting on my journey. Absolutely Enlightening.
Thank you!
You are welcome. I do not believe with MBTI as a tool or any tool really, that there is any one answer but this I will absolute tell you: " At 53, me, there is a common theme in life with MALES and FEMALES and if you care more about yourself than you do anyone else while wanting to love another person and to be loved by them so much that without them you will die, I truly believe that the world opens up and reveals its secrets. "
I hope that came out right and makes sense. TYWC - Marty
Well said. You put it perfectly.
I don't know why they romanticize intj male with infj female.
Being an infj with an ex INTJ, i know how painful it gets. He treated me like I'm some business and didn't even put any effort to it.
This is an interesting thing to say: "He treated me like I'm some business and didn't even put any effort to it."
Now let me tell you what my past woman say about me:
"He treated me like I'm some business and put more effort into me than I have ever experience from another human being. The best part of him was that I knew deep down that I would never be cheated on or betrayed and his life was always on the line for my life and for my happiness. I felt it every day. I blew it and I miss him so much. The best part, I guess, is that I know there is no need to search for a replacement. Knowing that is an easier pill to swallow and a misery that is easier to hide."
TYWC - Marty
Wow exactly 😅
He wanted to marry but I felt like he wouldn't even exist and use me to his convenience, like a trophy wife while I will be waiting and building his house and looking after his family
So if you find yourself not on the same page as what woman say about me than maybe you need to take hard looks into life and what you want. Simple enough right... lol.
You always know you made the wrong choice because pain and eartache shows you but what if you make a choice and uyou do not feel pain or heartache? Get it? - Marty
We work cause we have the same likes and need. He is very closed off emotionally and I feel like he can slowly open that up to me. So he is a mysterious guy. He is very sweet to me but cold to everyone else. We click on humor. We are both witty and future oriented thinking so we Sometimes are on the same wave link when we plan.
Yes I think so. I'm an Infj female and I'm no where near that emotional as you have described. Although my life experiences may have made me less sensitive and emotional. Also my intj partner is sometimes more sensitive than me
Absolutely agree. I am INFJ female married to INTJ male. There exists a void for sure.
Sorry about that. It is not good to be right on negative things. But maybe since you know you can work on it better. TYWC - Marty
Please elaborate, an INFJ female furiously in love with me and I need the data from your relationship in order to advise you if I can, and to also analyze all of the data to deal with my human situational requirements with her.
"There exists a void for sure" is a bad sign.
Where does your relationship struggle?
If you are the female infj in a relationship with an intj, the worst thing you can do is put in the work. I dated an intj for several years and he was very generous to me, I was always greatful and started to return the favors of doing for him and he turned completely selfish. He gave everything to his horrible ex wife and esfp, she was truly awful and he still gave to her everything when she reciprocated nothing, I had to cut it off. I do not understand the illogic of fi. Fe wants to make those who make it happy, happier, it wants to respond and share the love. He always disrespected that about me (my fe). He still gives to his selfish, narcissistic ex wife (esfp) to this day, i think he’s trying to show her he cares? I really can’t understand it. I’m not the only infj who has experienced this with intj male.
I would only like to add that Alex, your X is not acting out of MBTI but something else. MBTI is allowing you to place things in a box and yes I think you can do that but maybe also look to the person as it relates to inner child self, for some stronger reasoning and also the childhood and parenting or role models. I am sure you see what I am saying and get it. Just a thought for you to consider. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn good point, although I can honestly say I have had horrible experiences overall wirh fi users turning selfish on me when I try and give to them or return the favor. I have never had this issue with my fe friends...even my entp bestie. They/we recognize and reward behavior that feels good and of it doesn’t we don’t reward (or we can harbor resentment). Fi is senseless to me, it favors randomly and if you treat them well they may not recognize it and if you don’t treat them well they can become butt kissers or do whatever they please..I’ve never understood the patterns, I’ve triggered several into odd behaviors I can’t seem to understand. My istj is very patient with me in helping me to understand his emotional reactions and in his son who is and entj so I’m very greatful to learn and hopefully I’ll understand fi a bit more in the future.
My wife(INFJ) and I(INTJ), the way it works is that I'm always learning how to navigate the vast ocean of emotions that she brings to the marriage, I don't think there would be any other way that I could learn how to do that without her.
She is lucky you desire and want to learn. The only thing I would say is that you must still be the leader and play the male role and if you can do both and have been able to stay on that path and she allows that than what a couple.
The only flip side is if your childhoods have made you both aware and able to mix roles and she is TRULY an INFJ and even if the male and female roles get broken down, you the male will not leave and she INFJ will stay and not stray and stay committed with her INFJ moral compass.
Thus your wife is a TRUE INFJ which would make sense based on her actions. Stay on course and from my view do not look for help in an area of life that looks and reads just fine the way it is.
You might fix something that was and is not broken. I hope this makes sense and adds to your comment. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn I totally get where your comment comes from and I appreciate your concern. I forgot to mention that we are both Christians and in our world view the Man is the head of the woman therefore, responsible for her safety and well-being. I take that responsibility with pride and do my best to do what's best our family even if she sometimes does not agree with me everytime. The reason why I wanted to learn how to understand her emotions is because again, in our world view, the woman is to be loved and treated with love, as the weaker vessel and the man is to be respected is his role as the head of the house. We still fight like all couples do but I found that by following God's advice in marriage (we believe he created marriage and knows how it works) rather than people our marriage is growing stronger by the Day.
Thank you for your content, it is an absolute necessity that more people know themselves and the people they love. Cheers Brother.
You might find this interesting ...
ruclips.net/video/Xl8Td3Y_Tnc/видео.html
Let me know what you think as it relates to NOT the video and FAITH but to this video and its message
ruclips.net/video/EMNLXdOEBSI/видео.html
Both are mine and very connected. After you watch I will be able to talk to your other comment. Well said. - Marty
Infj married to an esfj for 11 yrs difficult at first but now our loyalty and honesty with each other is unmatched hes my ride or die betty for life
Very good. :)) Glad to hear it. TYWC - Marty
Me as an INTJ being called an emotionless robot: "Cool!"
INFJ being called a psychopath: "But, but..."
Both: "Let's be psychopathic introverts together!"
Whoa.. I'm an Infj male but with the qualities of the infj female ig..wtf is that he's fkn right. Absolutely. It makes sense.
This one fucking time i meet someone i adore and me picking up the pieces.. I just started takin meds..
i just wanna make it work
This video gave me goosebumps. I would absolutely love a video / deep dive on them in reverse like you did towards the end. Thanks in advance (especially if you already made it) :)
Let me take a look at that... TYWC - Marty
Hey Marty! Thanks for the video!! I squealed with glee when I saw it... I was actually referring to the INTJ as being perceived as psycho/sociopathic as well as cold, etc... (but not actually being), not the INFJ, but no worries. I can see how it could be unclear from my wording, but neither here nor there. Very interesting take & I think my question is answered. I'll admit, not the one I wanted but it is what it is. It's just that introverted intuition gets really heavy sometimes, & it's super appealing that another type leads with the same function. So very few people can relate intellectually to INFJs, much less romantically. Its tough out here for us female INFJs...😑
You may come back with another and I can address it. If you want. Please do, okay. Clarify. - Marty
LITERALLY!!!
Man are you an INTJ? I laughed so hard at the but where you told her not to ever breathe those words again, it was funny because it felt like I'm looking at myself but also I fully understand the level of concern you had for her from the amount of times you said you don't want to hurt her feelings, to how blunt you had to be.
So are you saying an INFJ Female whom desires a healthy long-term relationship should abandon an reasonable expectation of it ever being a possibility???
HI. No. What I am saying is if you have been struggling I know why and I am trying to describe it but all hope is not lost. I will do a video on it and try better to explain. TYWC - Marty
It works but it's extremely hard, the INTJ male would have to really love you and value you for it to work...
@@marty_glenn Hi, I couldn't find the video you were talking about. Is there a chance it's still in the making? I would love to see it ☺️
I’m and INFJ and wife is Intj and you are 100% correct
I am just guessing; winging it. ;) Thank you for letting me and others know. TYWC - Marty
Hi Marty,
Interesting information, I don't know enough about the other MBTI traits to fully understand, I continue to learn, thanks for explaining.
Also, thank you for tossing out sociopath and psychopath from our vocabulary, many people throw out these words without fully understanding how harmful they are.
Another great video.
Great and thank you. Yep, many do and I pounce on them for it because it really gets me going. They are serious labels and I have the personal experience to know. TYWC - Marty
Hi @This Is George when an INFJ doesn't know their a INFJ they are very unhealthy and destructive... Especially female INFJ that I am, one thing you should know is that no one chooses how they should be we're all born the way we are, and imagine all the confusion and mixed you're having.... She's probably having it worse... It's painful knowing that you're not like everybody else. Plus the hormones and everything...
You will probably never ever understand...
INFJ's need people who are going to try and help them as much as they are genuinely trying to help others even though they make mistakes and can come out a certain way to others, that's a bit too much....
Please just leave her alone, and I pray she figures herself out somehow along the way...
You will never forget her because she is unforgettable... and please stay away from her you're too negative...
Maybe that's why she's now progressing...
I'm sorry if I've offended you but I'm just telling the truth...
I'm a female INFJ and I was thinking about a relation with INTJ, thanks Marty for this video.
;) TYWC - Marty
Ive just come out of a relationship with and INTJ and wished so much I understood our MBTI designations more DURING the relationship. If I had I believe we could’ve made it work. An openly discussed understanding of each other’s character traits would’ve been the key.
I get what you're saying with the widened gap around the 6min mark. But we INTJs are problem solvers, we are more than capable of understanding the this difference and will be eager to learn from our partners. The high intuition means we pick up on all sorts of things even if we dont understand it straight away. We pick up on patterns quickly so despite being very logical we lean heavily on this pattern recognition that isnt exactly logical. It took me a while to understand how i could so logical driven yet rely on and trust 'gut feelings'
Feelings are psychology, so while abstract like patterns we're more than capable of working it out and excepting people's differences. I think probably the biggest issue for us is working out those we can trust because we absorb so much, we're left with unsolved puzzles that dont make sense. So to me the INFJ female is heightened in the areas that builds that trust, perhaps to such an extent it allows the INTJ male to lower their guard and grow.
Te vs Fe the cognitive functions in MBTI say that these processes are quite opposite of each other like another language such as the “harsh masculine” German or the more nasley femine French.
But language is language and it can be learned over a lifetime. One may never be as good as a native speaker, but they’ll have accents or a personal touch put forth in their words and actions.
The language of love of a Te INTJ vs Fe of an INFJ are quite different, but a relationship is a journey not an end point. If there are kids and grandkids your love will persist after you’re dead. It’s a nice thought I try to believe in. One thing that I’ve had to learn many times is that love isn’t enough. It takes work, it takes actions. It’s more than thoughts kept to myself.
There was this INFJ woman I thought twice on. Who I might have been willing to change all of my future plans for. To incorporate them in my way of life. Someone I would have been willing to sacrifice some of my individuality and independence for. Even my life if it came to it.
For me love seems fickle from a far. Though when it hits, it always seems to sneak up past all the walls, the trials, and second thoughts. That loss of control is terrifying. When a woman with the five character traits of high empathy, compassion, accommodating, accepting, and tender appears before me I might question if this is the real deal in front of me.
Is this a diamond in the rough or a geode that looks nice after you uncover the layer of limestone? A diamond doesn’t get to leave the castle gates without a baton, pepper spray, a taser, and a crash course in Krav Maga. Even then I’d still worry. Not that I’d say it out loud.
Hey Marty, I think your up and down arrow needs to be turned 90 degrees. They can meet somewhere in the middle.
-Mike
Always can meet in the middle, Mike. I need to figure out a way to draw and sound less ' Set in stone ' or ' It is this way or the high way'. I need to find a way to state the middle ground is baked in and that what I say is not the gospel but only a view or path to include within the quiver. Well said. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn I think you’re caught in a “Catch 22” of the format you decide to present in, especially if you are seeking drama or want to drum up a controversial topic for discussion. I don’t mind, in fact enjoy, playing the devil’s advocate from time to time.
The potential of presenting one viewpoint vs an attempt to present all views is that one side sounds more confident than views that leave room for interpretations. One view is more likely to influence or sway one to your way of thinking if they are someone looking for answers.
A more self assured personality will be seeking more depth and dissenting views to contrast their own. The objective for me is to never be in an echo chamber at least not for too long.
My confidence and assertiveness is often merely an illusion as much as the marker on your rabbit-hole-expensive glass. Easily erased and redrawn, often more accurate or more intricate like an artist having another go.
I personally have no problem with your approach. The tedium to see if everyone is on the right page and waiting for everyone to catch up isn’t an enviable position. An exercise in patience is probably the answer however cliche it maybe.
Interesting video,
-Mike
Okay Mike. You said this well. So here is my response:
I agree with your approach as to one view vs many views but I cannot stand the academics and they for the most part are not helping and actually fuck people up. As for things I say that are related to my life and experience, we can agree that my view or what I am saying would be the point of my channel. As it relates, the MBTI and my thoughts well do you not think it is fractured enough so how are you calling me out when I am trying to be a purest.
What I think is you just have an issue with me and some points I have and maybe you are not sure exactly what it is because I addressed my entire channel within this comment and makes perfect sense to me.
But since you said it with IQ and a professional approach why don't you tell me what I said that is the issue. I am listening. If you want? ;) TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn It’s taken me sometime to write a reply. I’ve had to reign in the urge to spill the contents of my mind into a format of text which I don’t think you would appreciate and I would feel guilty burdening you with a wall of text. Where to start, where to end is a topic in itself. Though I have to keep the context of the topics brought here.
“The academics” it seems is a choice of words you choose to blame that can be argued to have negative associations. I can understand somewhat. The status quo is currently not the greatest it could be and more attention could/should be applied to mental well being, relationships, and boundaries. Academia provides a foundation of theory of best practices of current information. To me you should be blaming the practitioners for their application of theory without double checking if what they’re doing is sound and ethical or even working as intended.
Even then it’s hard for me to blame the practitioners as they often are just working with the resources they have available to them which is often never ideal. On the ground or as they say in the field where theory meets application people fuck up because people are not perfect. Human error, negligence, complacency, and bias can all come into play even with the best intentions or approach.
It takes an intellectual to come up with new ideas and theories. Even then an academic can be intellectual, though not always. We all stand on the shoulders of academics, intellectuals, and practitioners alike.
I seem to forget sometimes that when I try to dissect and compare another person's thoughts, theories, and opinions to my own potential theoretical constructs, that person may take it personally. Though I would like to point out for clarification I like your impressive glass that you say some academic institutions may use as your own personal standard of quality and professional presentation.
On the other hand I will point out what I thought was an inconsistency in the thought process of trying to be a “purist” when I think you might be better served just being Marty Glen, which as you say is the point of your channel. Which I also think is the point others might return to your channel. You have a personal lens I’m quite willing to take into consideration to add to the framework of a quiver to see what sticks, works, or can be applied.
Thanks for listening,
-Mike
HI. You are exactly right. I think you are trying to give the academics some credit and say that I should be kinder. I agree but remember my view is one3 of pessimism and I cannot change that. Funny how that works. There are some academics that deserve the credit and should be applauded. I unfortunately have not met them. Maybe you have or seen or heard one who does; I think you are lucky.
As for being a purist vs just being me? It is hard on RUclips since I have no grey area but firm points no matter how I say it. When I say purist I am always talking to the re-creation of the wheel in that I will not do that. For example what CS Joseph did. That is the foundation but with that said, it is easy to go away from yourself on RUclips and it is a challenge. I work on it every day and always am trying to get back to me. TYWC - Marty
EDIT: wrote a huge post, but after watching more of your videos realized that what I wrote is not factually true. Love your style and no bullshit attitude, by the way :)
Thank you and glad you did that. You see what I do to people who do not. Solid Self you have there. Well done and well said. TYWC - Marty
I love the colors on this video you used them in the right order yes yes I know my tiny bit of OCD is talking I don't have much of that but when it comes to colors and sound im finicky. It's so nice when someone else gets the order of colors right. I also love the basic simple logic in this video.
HaHa Thanks I do like colors and yes they have to be right. Fuck! Yes! OCD Rules. Just not when you cannot leave the house. Then it is a shit show. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn i dont think that will ever happen to me i love going to the mall too much but that would be a shit show my colors always go purple blue green orange pink and if the screen matches that combo in any way that works i am super happy
;)) lol - Marty
Wow. It's really fun being told by you that I should not have been born the way I am. It's also really fun being told that I am married to someone who will let me die.
You are welcome. What in the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously??? TYWC - Marty
3:30 an absolute savage holy lmfaoo
Always doing my best. TYWC - Marty
That part cracked me up.
This has meme potential.
I've thought aboutthis pairing, but I'm not sure imagine peering into someone's fragile self esteem with a cold exterior, and they can't talk about it with you... maybe the intj being a woman would help, but idk. It would drive me nuts
Yes. The INFJ cannot be the woman. It b rings too much of the female nature and nurture and is too much for the male. TYWC - Marty
The relationship works if the INFJ woman is strong enough to tell the INTJ make to knock his shit off. In my case that came with age and walking out on him. The problem with INTJ men is that they think they are always right and it takes a strong INFJ woman to step out of her comfort zone to tell him off and if she doesn’t he will be very domineering. Once the INFJ female has has enough of being condescended too and not having her feelings and opinions respected she will walk out. He might get forgiven once but eventually that’ll be it unless the INTJ man can learn to express himself in a way that is more appropriate. At one point in my relationship I pointed out that my partner wasn’t always right just because he had a dick. I also pointed out that we have exactly the same degree and have worked in the same profession for the same length of time and that if he wanted a woman to be meek and mild and submissive he’d have to look elsewhere. I’m over 40 and I’ve gotten better at setting boundaries over the years. If we’d been together in my early 20s I would have let him push me too far and then I’d be done.
I haven't watched your videos in a while but this caught my eye. I was interested to see what you said about it and, I must admit, I think you are correct that the INFJ female and INTJ male are a terrible pairing. That is based purely on personal experience, admittedly, so I can only speak for myself.
My ex husband was an INTJ (sure wish I'd known about this stuff at the time) and, while there is a lot I learned from him and could respect about him (predominantly his mind and his drive), there is nothing in this world that could have kept us happily together. After four years, I had to cut him off entirely in order to regain any self respect I still had left. It was a whole lot of give from my end and a ton of take from his. Looking back, I understand where and why we clashed. We were both still quite young and both a bit (quite) unhealthy for our personality types, but I still very much doubt that maturity on both our sides could make a relationship between us easier than jumping over and over onto a pile of broken glass..
Hi INF Jen. How have you been? ;)) I am glad I did well with the video. TYWC - Marty
I've had the same experience, reversed. She really does have true love though.
I agree with parts, but you are mainly looking at unbalanced INTJ/ INFJs. Anyone only using their savior functions are going to rip themselves apart. It doesn't matter if it's a jumper type if you don't use your demon functions especially in a relationship things will break apart so fast. With that said IXXJs/EXXPs dating someone of the same dominant function, they need at the bare minimum to develop both judging functions if not their repressed function to a certain point. In this example, 2 Ni Doms getting into a fight about the sensory is more certain than death at that point.
You’re saying females should never be born infj but they are. Im infj and my husband is intj.
I’m saying that an authentic INFJ female is going to have a tougher time of things than a male INFJ since the female has INFJ traits baked in. Make sense? TYWC - Marty
My Opinion is that the best for a INTJ Male is a other INTJ, or INFJ or ENFP Girl thats Heaven like a perfect match Superhero Team.
If a woman is acting tough to me all the time or being overly critical of me, that would wear me out. Not gonna work in my eyes.
As a INFJ male. Basically it would be better if I was a woman lol. I would be better as a man as a intj. Great I'm a guy that has the emotions and feelings of a woman lol. Which if I'm not careful will make me cry lol.
Damn I haven’t clicked this video yet bc it was INFJ female and INTJ male
Im an INFJ male potentially interested in a INTJ female. I’m astonished by this content, interesting thank you.
As long as it just gives an idea to a thought to help. It is not 100% in any way; how could it be. Thank you for the kind words. TYWC - Marty
I can't think this apply on every couple because the most important thing is understanding between them
Yes. You are right and you have the right path to take. :) TYWC - Marty
Do you have anything wrong? Yes I think so. The emotional, thinking and feeling dichotomies are clearly not as you portray them to be. I think it’s much more complex in typology than what you state in the video. We can not say some gender shouldn’t be born as a certain type because the type has certain traits we do not even grasp the true meaning of. In all superficial statements about it people generalize or diagnose people which is totally wrong. “INFJ females shouldn’t be born as INFJ’s” well they are born and this could not be a mistake at all and you stating such thing creeps me out. Stating such things makes me think you yourself do not exactly know what MBTI is about, …just a reminder, before you know it you got some creepy movement of people saying some type or group, race, belief should not exist and I hope you can remember how these kind of scenarios play out…
*oh and as a INFJ I think you got the general definition wrong to determine what being female is about!
What? TYWC - Marty
6:17
"W-wha-how? HOW- IN THE GODS GREEN EARTH IS ANY OF THIS...HOW does this even happen?
folks, this is my same exact thought process (INFJ girl), when i end up crushing on every INTJ i meet. I don't know how. I don't have the answers, Marty.
Well.... Do not look to me: I do not have them either. LOL TYWC - Marty
This analysis is mind blowing. Gender x MB model ⋯ is MB supposed to be done this way？
So which is the best match for an infj Female in your opinion?
I would have to say another INFJ with an abused childhood yet very understanding of their healing.
The INFJ female, the true one, is a difficult human being to be and live with.
Look to what you are as a shadow, ENFP, and if so then your INFJ and just do your best to grow and reflect on yourself. TYWC- Marty
This guy is an INFP …. There the ones who think there thinking is all that and more when it’s obvious it’s not …. iNFJ women are some of the most logical women who can even come across as thinker types …. And they get along well with both INTJ and ENTJ
Great thanks. Question for you, if you can answer me:
My channel:
1. Over 500 Videos
2. Channel is over 5 years old
3. 25 - 45 hours a week to maintain my channel
4. I read all comments and have done so since the first comment
5. 45% of all comments on the channel are mine
6. This channel is NOT monetized and will NEVER be monetized
7. I have not made a single penny from this channel; I do it for me
Can you please tell me the MBTi types that I should consider that are capable of such an action. IS that the INFP or ???
Thanks ...
Let me know in your return comment and please site MBTI, cognitive functions, you know, so I know what to understand about myself. TYWC - Marty
That is what I thought. Now it is my turn [...] Do not watch me. Forget you know I exist and enjoy your life. Fuck you! - Marty
You are too emotional sir . Really unlike an INFJ …. Now I’m even more convinced you are an INFP …. Not once did I insult you but gave you logical reasons why you may not be an INFJ and you proceed to delete my comment and then insult me 🤦🏽♂️ …. There is nothing wrong with being an INFP.
The shadow of the INFJ is the ENFP. It is impossible for me to be an INFP. Oh my fuck. Can you do me a favor and have a great life and please, as I think you mentioned, delete all knowledge of me in your life and both of us will be happy. I want constructive intelligent people to watch me and to comment. You do not fit here. Thank you and again have a wonderful and happy life. - Marty
I have a question. And let me preface by saying I'm not wanting to come across as stupid or anything like that. I do worry that this question will come across that way, however my intrigue is more. You mentioned a woman is already born with said characteristics of an infj then adding the infj to it sends those traits upwards. I have and I'm not sure for how long. I'm going to say since puberty a hormone imbalance where I don't make enough estrogen and I make more testosterone than most women do. If I'm not wording this right I do apologize. But I don't make enough of one and too much of the other. Does this factor in on any level? Or is it something all together on a different level?
Yes. But only you would know and self study would be invaluable to your self understanding and the relationship to MBTI. Make sense? TYWC - Marty
I'm certainly not an expert, but I'd love a little more discussion about this. You talk about being female would multiply the infj personality. However, instead of multiplying it, could it have CAUSED it in the first place? With that said, instead of having extraordinary female characteristics, she's just a typical female.
I'm an INTJ, and when it comes to choosing furniture, I'm more concerned about function rather than aesthetics. In that case, perhaps the two differences could be complimentary rather than contradictory. I might have limits (I want furniture that's comfortable, and perhaps not pink), then she gets to do whatever she wants within those limits. It seems like it could be fun for her.
I will say that I did have an ex, though, who was more emotional (although I don't know if she was an infj, specifically). There were times when she would come to me and talk about someone who was rude and I didn't know how to help because they didn't seem like a big deal. I'm pretty thick skinned, so I didn't understand her struggle. Since I didn't understand her struggle, then I couldn't even begin to know what to do to help. If I was stressed, I just needed to be left alone so I can think. She kept interrupting and wanting to help, but that only made it worse. I think, if there were going to be issues, it would be about things like that.
What do you think?
In the future I will do more on this topic as we both know it is a large one to discuss. :) TYWC - Marty
My two best friends are totally incompatible with me according to MBTI. MBTI isn't a truth. It's a guide. People are way more complicated than what it says.
okey i got this now ,i had an bf he was an intj and since he is a mal so he is already though and rational with everything adding to Being an intj ,and im an infj...so i said why dont we Switch like crazy how equal and perfect it would have been ...just wanted to share my thought ,thank you Marty:)
Hey Marty, interesting video and reasoning! l'd like to ask you what do you think about the possibility of an INFJ female and an INFP male, former couple, which a few years after the breakup get to become really close friends.
Is that uncommon? How these two typologies interact as partners and how they do as friends? And which kind of relationship is the best for those two types together? I'd really appreciate to hear your opinion on that, thank you.
An emphatic NO from an infj female in a disastrous relationship of 8 years with an infp male. The Fi is just way too much for my Fe to handle and the disorganization is maddening.
This is where the problems are going to be:
The Attitude of Introverted is going to make you both feel at home together like you both get it. Alone time and quiet. But the Extrovert Intuition vs the Extroverted feeling. Problems. Also the Judging attitude is going to want to get going and move where the perceiving attitude and the planning , or afraid to move and take a risk is going to make the INFP male look week and scared in the eyes of the INFJ female. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Thank you for your analysis!
Wow......i watched this on a whim hoping he'd explain the reversed roles since I am an INTJ. Welp....learned loads today 😌.
Yep. Sometimes it comes from a difference place. TYWC - Marty
Thank you this made me laugh🙏 what about Infj fem with Intp male?
Let me see where the good stuff is:
INFJ and INTP
Hmmmmm. You see that J and the Fe and that P and the Ne vs the Ni and the Ti and then lastly the J vs the P.
Here is how this goes: The INFJ is going to be hungry for the INTP to see the world through compassion and warmth where the INTP is going to be asking for more critical thoughts that are objective and the the INTP male is going to be on overload with the planning and thinking and if the INFJ female doesn't totally respect the INTP male thank there is going to be a problem with the strictness of the INTP male vs the ' Lets get going and it is okay if we did not think everything first ' . I could go on but is that enough for now before a video? TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn thank you🌟 I look forward to the video!
your style is hilarious
i dont know how to say this... im an infj female(20) dating a intj male(21) and the struggle is real. i have talked to him about him not talking about his emotions and not talking with me sometimes when he needs alone time even though i understand him fully sometimes it's hard miss how much i care for him and how little he cares for me most of the time.after everytime i talk with him about this issue i started expecting him to act otherwise but it never happens.....what do yall think how would this effect in the future and all......and when we hav those conversations he once said even though he loves me he sometimes forgets that i exist .... i dont know what to think of it.
I'm sorry for your negative experience. I think age plays a great role in your situation. With time INFJ become more independent and robust, able to resist INTJs harshness. And INTJs learn to work with their feelings instead of ignoring them. They become able to open up to theis closest circle. It works for healthy types. For example, you can pursue your career without feeling guilty that you don't pay enough attention to your husband. If he's mature enough he'll be somewhat sensitive to you, showing his cute side and will be able to support you with firm logic when you're loosing yourself in a flood of emotions. You also will have time for your friends and family because he won't be demanding your attention from morning till night. But, as I said before you both have to be healthy and mature individuals being able to talk openly about important matters and accept each other differences.
That's a really good point and I agree that being an INTJ.
Always interesting to me when I get it right. Glad it was worthy of your time. TYWC - Marty
i am really sorry i was born as an INFJ female, youre right its my mistake. next time i'll make a deal with god to make me something else becasue marty glenn thinks woman shouldnt be born an infj :c
Okay. So here is the truth…
The INFJ female sis so rare that I will say 10 out of 10 woman who claim INFJ are not INFJ. Here is why…
INFJs are cruel and harsh and unforgiving. Let that sink in for a little while. They are brutally cold and calculating mother fuckers.
The INFJ is not an empathetic type. TYWC - Marty
Is it the different if it's an INTJ female and male INFJ. Please make a video for that.
Hmmm... well I don't totally agree with this video, I feel I can't just reply offhand to it without gathering my thoughts. I did appreciate the whole part where you erased the psychopathic/sociopathic part though. I've known INFJ's who basically acted in self-destructive manners because of judging themselves as such. What type would you say is a more ideal match for an INTJ male? And same for INFJ female? Seeing as how switching personality chips is not yet an option.
Be alone. No just kidding. Keep trying and keep the self discovery going and I think that is a win / win. TYWC - Marty
You are blowing my mind 🤣
Always doing my best. :) TYWC - Marty
My crush is intj 🤣 he teases and annoy the baby and the baby gets mad 🤣🤣 then sits with us and pats the baby. He talks in sarcastic way sometimes and I find him sweet and caring. I wonder if he likes me too. I wonder if its just a coincidence that most of his friends dont sit with me. And I find him sitting next to me each meal 🤣. Weird thing he dont talk with me when we are alone and just small talks but when we are surrounded by people , he starts asking me questions. my problem is i dont know how to iniatiate a convo without awkwardness 🤣 me an -INFJ-
You’re looking too much into it. The fact is this: there are two ways to see this problem. One is at face value and with said, the math does not lie. You should switch doors. The other way is to look at the problem as dishonest and flawed. I choose to see the problem as dishonest and flawed and never as a choice to switch. How hard can it be to see that within the video and than for me to judge those who do not see it my way which is the correct way. Why would you ever play a game that you know is dishonest and flawed? TYWC - Marty
Infj female are not psychopaths
Hello Marty,
INFJ male late 30s here, subscriber and viewer. I've wanted to ask your opinion on a question. I have a tendency to, and an enjoyment learning new and random "skills". Only to keep them to myself generally and only use them for my own purposes. If I tried to monetize any of them, I no longer enjoy the activity...but I will enjoy it when using it for someone else or myself for free. (Feel free to omit this example for time) to For example, I had a garden and grew produce that I would gladly give away. Then I learned canning to preserve it and would take requests from some people but if they ever tried to put in an "order" I might try to fill it but repeat orders were out of the question.
Meanwhile I would gladly make those things for free for others. I also enjoy teaching the random skills I've learned. Though they often come up in random conversation that often surprise others. Do other have this tendancy? Why do you think this might be? Additionally, why the lack of enthusiasm when it becomes a, for lack of a better term "job"?
I have a list of examples and plans to learn many more, feel free to omit them as well for time should you answer this question.
Fishing, shooting, archery, investing, canning, preserving, cooking, sewing, gardening, organization, first aid, ect.
Yes. What you are talking about is the dreamer and the future thinking. The plans and the hobbies and the learning more is the scratching of the future and ever expanding desire for more knowledge; itch. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Thank you! Definitely make sense
Hi Glenn,i like your videos..I think in the beginning of your video you misunderstood something…
Maybe it’s because you didn’t read it as it was written…
Im just asking because when you read it you say that
INTJ male behavior can seem to some sociopathic or even psychopathic…
And then you put these traits,as mention in the letter,on the side of the INFJ..
Tanks and take care..
Emmanuel
I would have to go back and look and listen but you might be right on that as I do not exactly remember that and to say what you are saying seems a little over the top. There might be something to it. What time in the video was it? TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn 30 second…
I just watched it and yes that is correct. I do not think I read that as intended and so the entire video would have an off sense about it and sorry for that. Sometimes that happens and there it is. I do hope the rest of the video has good points for you and others who caught that error. - Marty
@@marty_glenn Yes good video especially this one since i am intj and my girlfriend infj..
I get your point and it gives a really good insight..
I also laughed when you mentioned woman’s basic traits plus being an infj…
Right on point
Thanks..
Stand by for my response... ;) - M
As an INFJ I also agree that a female should never be born as an INFJ. 😣
I deleted my comment because I just realized this says “INTJ male” I thought it said INTP male lmao.
:) - Marty
My husband♍ and I♎. 💕☺💕
Great video but I do believe anybody can make things work if they are complimentary towards each other the mpti is just for self learning or learning more about somebody else but please don't say it won't ever work out that's just stupid no disrespect
The INTJ male is introvert feeling and extroverted thinking. That's why your example did not work.
Wait...what? Did I make a serious mistake. I will look into this ... TYWC - Marty
I’m late to the party but who would you say is a better match to the female INFJ?
Never late. :) I will do this and stand by. Takes time. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Thank you, looking forward to it!
What’s good match with INFJ Female?
Let me try this video. ;)) TYWC - Marty
Harsh but necessary for the person who asked this lol... 😂
Great video thank you! What about INFJ F+ INFP M?
INFJ = Introverted Intuition ( Extroverted Feeling ) | Thinking | Extroverted Sensing
INFP = Introverted Feeling ( Extroverted Intuition) | Sensing | Extroverted Thinking
Here is the good and the bad and the ugly: The INFJ is leading with thoughts both past and prsent and the INFP is leading with feelings backed by the sense and the secondary to the INFP is selfish intuition where the the INFJ is leading with selfless intuition and more thinking. The inferior or last for the INFJ is selfish sensing and the INFP is selfish thinking.
Does that give you food for thought? TYWC - Marty
I don't think this guy knows what intervertebral intuition is. Also with maturity our showdow functions develop enabling us to relate. This in in addition to having complimentary thinking and feeling.
You know it’s interesting. In over two years , 430 videos and over 10,000 comments not one single thing I have ever heard or read or have been told has said what you have.
Can you tell me how that could be? TYWC - Marty
Hey Marty ! I m an infj female and he's in intj ...we like each other a lot so should I date him???
If you like him why not, just be aware of your different approaches. Mbti types are meant to help you understand yourself and others. But life isnt an absolute mathematical equation you can work out ahead of time so take a chance and see what happens. Wish you the best
I think you should and I think you should set healthy strong boundaries while you do it. Go for it and best of luck. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn thanks a lot but which kind of boundaries 🥺👉👈
@@gsideforlife thanks 😀😀 ❤️🙈
Do you have a video regarding INFJ woman & INTP man?
Let me look into it for you. TYWC - Marty
IM NOT SUPPOSED TO EXIST?
Naw, your Dad pulled out.....
That's exactly what I was thinking when I heard INFJ and INTJ are the best match... who do you think might be the best match for a INFJ female? Great video by the way!
Thank you. I am working on that video. Stay tuned and I think I have the answer. But do you have a pair of glasses that finds needles? - Marty
@@marty_glenn Amazing! Well, I've heard that ENFPs and ENTPs might be the best match, but as a female INFJ I personally feel like I need that stronger feeling-factor in my partner... And on top of that, maybe it wouldn't even be that bad for an INFJ to date an extrovert, but only as long as the partner gives the INFJ some private time as well. I'm saying that, because (at least in my case) there are a lot of things we'd like to do, but only with our closest ones, so it'd be nice if someone could put us a little bit out of our comfort zone. Something else I personally search for in a relationship as well might be these long and deep conversations about possibilites, the meaning of life etc., not only facts or that one "right way" to do or think about something. So I feel like intuitive types might be better here.
But to be honest, I don't know a lot about other MBTI-types, so I could have gotten the wrong idea here, so it's just my personal opinion which might change when I find out more about other types.
I am going to touch on this in videos and help describe a few ideas I have. Let us see how I do. TYWC - Marty
That's not what all the other videos said
Please explain. TYWC - Marty
Wooooow who is the best match for the INFJ f ???
Yourself. lol Kidding. I will work on that topic and do a video. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn its been me myself and I for too long lol ;-[
Well... you need to get out there and show some smiles and some skin and set some solid boundaries and stand firm by them and see how it goes. Until you try that; I cannot help. lol ;) - Marty
Marty hilarious at the end there... self satisfied in your fleshing out of the two possible relationships. So funny.
So a female born an INFJ is a very unfortunate thing. I know you have said this before.
Everything is cranked up through the roof. That is what I saw initially with my ex. I thought she did life to the max. I thought she was the most compassionate, the most loving, the most... most! If that makes any sense.
But coming out the other side, I question the whole thing. If all those things were truly cranked up like that in a genuine way, you would have a saint walking the earth. However, there is something self absorbed about it all it seems. And the SELF is ultimately the only thing that matters. So it is no wonder philosophically that she gravitated towards nihilism and absurdism.
I am not sure what to think about it all now. I try to look at it a lot of different ways now, but I also keep running into people who offer outsider input about experiences with this individual. What other people experience is not so tender, loving, compassionate etc.
Perhaps there was more wrong than what can be found within the MBTI of this person?
She has since our parting become more and more planned and calculated. She was not this way previously. It’s a strange thing to witness. She gives me anxiety and I’m not even with her. Wish that would stop. Give me peace.
What you are dealing with is something different and maybe your vision needs to change and become more precise. When a woman is hurt or security is threatened MBTI does not matter. You are dealing with a female. TYWC - Marty
Hi George please read my comment or reply on PR PRUNE
There can be many things at play here, but without the bigger picture, I can't tell you if her muchness was "fake." Much of the learning INFJs do and the way we treat people is genuine. It's difficult for some people to like genuine because they feel judged...when in fact, they aren't being judged. I've noticed recently, in conversations, someone will say something and another goes out of their way to be insulted. I feel INFJ women may not be understood because we are genuine and our utmost goal is to provide an environment for people (whether through example or opportunity) to be their best self. It isn't always appreciated and lesser people think there other motives. As a result, I've stopped trying as much and just go on my way.
Due to our strange nature, we have 2 sides in us: deep empathy and cold logic. The healthy INFJ learns to use both in a harmonious way: cold logic to protect our soft feeling nature. But when we're unhealthy we tend to fall down into one of these extremes: eather go into a victim mode or become some psychopathy-like.