INFJ | How the INFJ thinks about TRUST and LOVE in dating? | The Rarest Personality Type
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- Опубликовано: 6 фев 2025
- Need advice on how to date an INFJ? Would you like to know how they view their relationships on trust and love?
Want to know how I handle Trust and Love in my relationships? Watch the video and I am going to tell you. Can I speak for all INFJ's? Nope! But if you are an INFJ, you do not need me to speak for you. Do you? ;)
Martin: "Trust eh - i get exhausted just thinking of the word."
** ...of course I would not just let you die. lol. **
As an INFJ's, we don't say things that we don't mean. And when we do say we mean it to the edge. If it doesn't come true right now, it will come true later on. We can count on it.
Yes. Agree. TYWC - Marty
It’s a gift for us but a curse for others cause we know!
I had a girlfriend that used this to make me do things. She knew that when I said something and promised on it, I would do everything to make it happen. After a while I stoped promising and then she became ex. Who knew it would happen...
Have you ever heard this..."If I loved you once...I will always have some kind of love for you. Stay away from me though." Great video...new subscriber.
Hi S. No But you are spot on and that brings about another issue. Very well said. Wait for the video on it. TYWC - Marty
That's me on at least three past loves.
Not true. There are many people that I would ignore if I saw them in public and act like I never knew them
I can relate to this.
I've always felt that the phrase "I love you" was a canned line and rather than saying I love someone, I show it through my actions - Words are empty promises, what really counts is what we *do* because doing leaves no room for doubt and doing takes a lot more effort than expelling air from our lungs and shaping our mouths to form words.
This doesn't mean that I won't say "I love you" to someone who has "words of affirmation" as one of their primary love languages, but my soul will cringe a little bit every time because of the ridiculousness of it. It simply shouldn't be necessary when every core of my being displays that love with my actions around people I love.
Hi K. Very well said and exactly right? Now try to tell that to the masses... ;) TYWC - Marty
"I said it once. How many times do you need to hear it? I didn't change my mind. Is it so hard to believe that?"
I said it in college 40 years on and off again. Finally decided the guy didn't know what love really consists of! Casanova. I did the door slam. 5 years later I heard from the Scorpio...breadcrumbs.
And the phrase 'I miss you'
But.......
If you're an infj, how do you not see that by expecting others to read your mind and not recognize the importance of sentiment? Just because we're
"hyper vigilant" and good at reading the people around us, doesn't mean that we should expect everyone else to be as well. I agree that words mean nothing if you aren't also showing them through your actions. But unless you're mute and unable to use sign language....... There's no reason to withhold verbal communication of affection.
Maybe it's a trauma issue from a time where you suffered conflicting messages regarding the words, "I Love You".....?
This is so true! With my husband being an INFJ he spends every moment of every day loving me, but for over a year I didn't really understand his love or what it meant. I have never met someone who gives so much in every way and so effortlessly. So when he DOES say the words "I love you," I hold onto them that much more because I know how true it is. There's no denying the love there. It's a connection that no book or movie has ever fully captured.
Anyone who has the opportunity to be on the receiving end of this love, DO NOT take it for granted. You will never be able to experience it again
So goes my life and the people in it who have not experienced your footsteps. Maybe one day... TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn I am so grateful for your videos. I wish there were more people like you to help the rest of the world help understand the rare individuals INFJs are. I think the world would really benefit from more people like you and my husband.
❤
I'm an infj female. It's exactly like that for me. The only difference for me personally is when the bond gets broken not only am I stone cold to that person but I get very angry almost destructive. At the end of it I end up hating the person I was once attached to because of the pain and betrayal that is inflicted. I almost feel like our personality type is very much like a mirror. A one way mirror that is, what I mean by this is that we can see everyone else but they, everyone in a general sense not only don't see but also can't see us.
Hi Eve. I get it. I often wondered why I was never friends with ex's and now I know why. It all makes sense to me. TYWC - Marty
I'm guilty of this as well. Think it goes back to how we value relationships. Someone broke that bond and didnt hold it to the standard I did. I have a hard time just being friends after that cause i hold my friends to the same standard.
Same. I'm also an INFJ woman and I absolutely agree with u.
There is no love without hate; and there is no hate without love. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference; the opposite of feeling can only be the absence of feeling.
exactly
Truth, it seems to me that regardless of the INFJ man or woman, there is no limit when it comes to love. Protecting those we love and how far we are willing to go for it... That love and connection is our currency...🙃
... until it meets the Malignant Narcissistic Sociopath, and than it becomes our biggest liability. TYWC - Marty
Oh, of course, I didn't say what happens then...The INFJ is a strong person by nature, especially if we are talking about the assertive type. My personal experience says: even then you don't hate, you simply leave in silence and don't look back... you already gave everything you had... The INFJ leaves such relationships when he is already healed and without emotion towards the same. @@marty_glenn
100% Facts: " My personal experience says: even then you don't hate, you simply leave in silence and don't look back... you already gave everything you had... The INFJ leaves such relationships when he is already healed and without emotion towards the same. "
Got it. I understand your point. ;) - Marty
As an INFJ I feel so validated to hear others having the same point of view on saying "I love you" - and as a female INFJ this feeling on those words makes people *really* think you have something wrong with you.
Yep. Wow. That is a great point. Not the same between men and woman. Very valid point. TYWC - Marty
Same here! -fellow female INFJ
Finding your series is a huge relief for me.
Thanks a million.
I'd like to add that telling an INFJ/INTJ that you don't trust them is a guaranteed cause for dismissal by an INFJ/INTJ.
Hi AofM. Yep, I get that and you are welcome. TYWC - Marty
INFJ’s don’t love out of insecurity or fear, it’s authentic and genuine❤
I relate to this so much, so accurate with the ‘die for you’ part, this inbuilt martyr sort of feeling. I guess most people don’t understand this, they don’t understand why it takes a long time to get past people when you have that attachment as an infj
Yes. Exactly or even why you would stay so long and try so hard. When others would have walked ages ago, the INFJ is still there. It can be very painful to say the least and the hardest part for me is this: "Why?" "Why cannot I do it differently when all that I know says I should and can?"
Thanks for the comment and watching.
@@marty_glenn Do you think that maybe we stay because being an INFJ means we see their issues and therefore understand their issues (even if we don't like them), which means we hope to 'fix' those issues, or at least support them through trying to fix themselves?
Hope that makes sense - I have a banging headache, so thinking hurts.
I'm also infj an could not get over my ex wife when she moved on I stayed single an not had a sexual relationsl since, but iv finally found a new women that I can now give my heart to an I was able to let go of my ex finally, an I don't give my heart out to aljust anyone
@@SKOLAH I think you made perfect sense. I’ve just ended a relationship. I have seen truly so many issues in my ex and felt so deeply for him, so I stayed in that relationship longer than I should have even though everyone tells me that he doesn’t deserve me. I just couldn’t give him up and let him face all that himself, I have tried always so hard and way too hard to be there for him, but end of the day he has only criticised and fixated on some mistakes I made two years ago. He moved on so quickly after we broke up. It pains me everywhere and I am really having a hard time to get over. It is just so hard for other people to understand how deeply and truly that we love, that high level and purity of love.
@@troyfitzsimmons I am infj female. I want to give you a hug because I can understand that pain and hardship having to get over someone. I wish you live a happy life with that new woman
“...unless you f*** me over” I totally resonate with that! And then I slam the door on you, lol!
Lock it; quickly! ;) TYWC - Marty
This was incredibly illuminating. My boyfriend of 7 years is an INFJ with Asperger's. Quite the combo. It took almost 2 years for him to tell me he loved me. As an INFP I was patient yet dying to hear those words. I knew he loved me, he didn't need to say it but I needed to hear it. He is fiercely loyal and seems to know what I need before I even know what I need. This gives me a greater understanding of him. Thank you.
Hi Pamela. That is great. yes that is a big combo. I am happy for you. TYWC - Marty
❤
@@commonsenseneedtobepractic1861 😇😇🙏🙏
Our love is pure, powerful and full of courage. Perfect love casts out all fear. Our love is strong as death!
100% Agree. I'm an INFJ female and this makes absolute sense to me. As a teenager (long before realising what an INFJ was) I had many interesting musings about things and one of them you summed up at the 9.00 mark "those we love we would die for". To that effect I'd like to share my favourite scripture from the Bible in John 15:13 "No one has love greater than this, that someone should surrender his life in behalf of his friends." Worth pondering. I will also say that the people who cause an INFJ to flip the switch are narcissists, particularly the abusive or covert ones; I've dealt with two of them in romantic relationshits (yes I spelt it that way on purpose) and several others in other relationships and once the switch is flipped there's no going back! The door slam is strong with this one!
When I was younger (early 20s) I realized that
Love is a choice that once it is engaged in, does not possess an escape hatch. Love is a choice to do good towards another regardless of the consequences to oneself.
I sh*t test people by loving them & seeing how they respond to it.
This is why I choose very selectively... & people often let me know whether or not they even want my love. Not with their words of course, lol never with their words, always the things done & left unsaid 👀
Hi bananabread tan. I did a test on match.com and want the results? Over 100 woman contacted and I spoke to all of them for a length of time right before you have to take it offline ( Following? )...
Guess how many got past my RUclips channel and wanted to talk more? Nope. You are wrong.
You will have to wait for the RUclips video for the answer but what a guess and ya I pretty much know you are wrong with your answer. Not one single person I know has gotten it right. So keep your answer and lets see if you were right or wrong, okay? ;) TYWC - Marty
I like to think about it like this...
For most people relationships are like two poles or 2X4's being brought together. Or two bricks being laid together or something like that. You have the two items and a binding agent (Trust).
You bring them close together and add the binding agent. You add the glue, the mortar, the screws or the rivets. Now, over time these joints, these connection points can wear or become weakened. You add more glue, mortar, or repair the connection. It takes work and effort to maintain the relationship between the two pieces. This is a normal relationship.
For an INFJ though.... When they bond with someone (I choose my words carefully), it's more like heating up metals and poring an I beam. There is no "connection" where a binding agent (Trust) is required. Nor is there a weak point for a break or a split for a broken relationship. There is no way for the "binding agent" to break down, so there is no need for the traditional Trust work that normal relationships require. This may be strange for anyone that isn't the INFJ, and even for people that are in a relationship with an INFJ. But, the only way to then break that I Beam.... is to purposely cut it... To F it up, as it were.
So... If you slag through an I beam.... there's no amount of tape, screws or glue that can "repair" it. It's done for. It's over with.
That's how I like to think of Trust and Love for the INFJ. 😉
Very true and creative way to put it. TYWC - Marty
Oh I love it idea! I really feel that way with my husband. It's such a chemically binding bond that I feel if it did every break there is no fixing it or if it was to be fixed it would not be the same and would be way weaker.
Yup, you’re right.
I’m happily married to the only person I have ever been in a relationship with, because I don’t get into a relationship with someone unless I already trust them, and once I’m in, I’m in for life 👍🏻
Congrats... ;) TYWC - Marty
Dude, I am a FAN, I trust YOU, right-off the bat!
Now I have you exactly where I want you. Right? Nope! So goes all the haters. Thank you for the amazing words. Appreciate it. TYWC - Marty
Wow beautifully spoken! You almost brought me to tears because I didn't even know that I'm doing this. But it's so true! Every word you said was spot on!
Hey G '. I hope I just saved you many years of my tear lol at 49, can you imagine how many there actually were for me within my life? Thank you for the comment and watching my channel. I am happy I could shed some light on a subject and send it home with such emotion. It always helps me when another person shares their story because it tells me that my words and thoughts are on the right track. ;) - Marty
"I've already read your silly a**. It's yes or no." I love this!
lol ;) TYWC - Marty
i hate when relationships.. friendships.. fail.. its hard....cause having that bond break... is hard.
Yep. It is and it happens more often then it should. Makes it harder to get back into the game. TYWC - Marty
Well, that was cathartic! Thank you for explaining what is often very difficult to articulate, but inherently easy to do. Both the giving and
the willingness to burnt shit down when done over.
Always trying to help. TYWC - Marty
Marty, great videos! This video painfully describes it as real as it gets. I need you to make a video on INFJ and Covert Narcissists, narcissistic abuse, specially in romantic/spousal relationships! Please!
okay. ;) TYWC - Marty
My father and I are INFJ's. His views on loyalty, trust and love are the same as yours, it's unbelievable. I've grown up under his wing, knowing that every word he say is the truth. I've always felt that deep inside. Thank you for this video!
😂 amazing, right. I bet I’ll hit this out of the park as well. You are lucky Anna because your self comes from that love. We all have insecurities and thoughts and emotions but my two boys as well, despite any issues between us, know that they are loved unconditionally.
They have strong self esteems.
Here is my point: In some way they have told me or maybe a better way to say this, the love I give is unspoken yet is felt more deeply and no words are really even ever said. It’s just there and it’s felt and known and there is no questions to ask.
Now how did that happen and how come it can feel so different then the love your mom gives you when we both know there is no love that compares to a mother’s love. It is crazy yet becomes so not crazy when it’s my video yet your dad’s words. I get it.
Thank you for watching and your comment. Really makes me smile 😃- Marty
@@marty_glenn Yes, I am grateful and super lucky to have such a connection with dad *and* mom (she's an ISFJ). You and your sons are all lucky to have each other as well. Love is a realm of feelings, not words.
P.S. sorry for the delay, didn't noticed your comment until now! Hope your'e doing well :)
Hi Anna. No problem.
It is too bad that others do not understand that - I Love you - is said with actions and emotion as you put it, but so many need to hear the words and forget the rest and believe they are in fact loved even when the words do match any of the actions. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn I agree. I always had a difficult time in relationships saying "I love you", I'd rather prove it with my actions. Not everyone understands, but as long as we understand, that's all that matters.
Hi Anna. Yes. communicate and prove it. Well said. TYWC - Marty
I think for a true INFJ this makes perfect sense. When you flip from putting that loved one first to being able to watch them bleed - i think its because they didn't value us for all that we give and that's the reason why they did us over. That's the black and white mentality too. That's just my take as a young INFJ who most likely has a lot to learn ☺️
Hi Tahmina. On this video, maybe read other comments, most think I nailed it. So if you feel this way and don't believe it true to the video? Maybe the comments from others can help you see more clear and make the right decision for you. Thank You for Watching and the Comment (TYWC) - Marty
@@marty_glenn Marty Glenn No definitely you have nailed it, thought I would just add why i think we really change when people screw us over after we've given them our love
I always wondered why saying "I love you" always felt, honestly terrible, and as if I was betraying myself because I would always say it for the other person and it felt fake and forced. My best friend I have refused saying "I love you" to him because he is the one person I care that I am genuine and myself around. Now I know. I always felt I didn't need to say it because I already have the care that I am genuine around him and NO ONE ELSE in my life do I care to be truly real/myself around.
... idk if that made sense...
Yes. ... perfect sense. Now this is not just for the INFJ. But it seems that the foundation of this type has this based in the inner most workings of self. For me this is the case as well as just 51 years of my life. TYWC - Marty
I feel like I've found what I've been trying to figure out about myself most of my life. My soul has been released. Thank you. I have journals upon journals that I would write in like my life depended on it. Hell it was the only thing that saved me. Because of how I grew up I was always searching for what was wrong with me. I'd write at home, in public, at parties or bars. I am so grateful for your videos. I can finally breathe
Hi Label. You know I never knew that video was going to be so viewed and say so much to so many. It was like just say and go and I did. I guess that is normally how it goes right? Truth is truth. TYWC - Marty
Right on the money Marty!!... It's very simple if you have my love it's an unwavering thing don't f*** with me though!!!... Like you said they'll be bleeding out cuz you just open and can of worms it's all f***** up!! You're doing a great job on these videos I want you to know that!!! The to-do lists were very interesting I do all kinds of crazy s*** like that I'm very entrepreneurial I've been in business for 45 years I have always had a hard time working for people can't do it keep it rolling!!! I love it!!!
"you've either got it or you don't, end of story" YEP YEP YEP
I usually decide if I trust someone very quickly and instead of thinking about it, once I've decided it, I just act like I trust them entirely (but I am more than ready to be proven wrong).
Hi Josh. This is spot on and correct. You have learned the easy path to slamming the door. Congratulations. ;) TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Learnt it the hard way :) Still do exactly the same thing, I just know what to expect now :P
Very good. But we all hope it changes one day but realize or know that it will not. We can keep hoping and dreaming and that is HEALTHY. ;) TYWC - Marty
Lmfao facts
... the way you explained this was spot on! I just thought I was evil / cold hearted.. but really it's just INTENSE..
Yep. You are not any of that as you relate to the video. TYWC - Marty
Your description of love brought me to tears. I showed it to my wife so she could hear your words translate what my feelings often cannot. Thank you.
That is wonderful. Thank you for sharing. I am sure she understands and will remember the effort you made to share another view that compares to yours but something tells me you are the leader and I am the follower. Thank You for Watching and the Comment. TYWC - Marty
YES!! 13 years I haven’t been able to put this into words to my husband and this 14 minute video explained my entire thought process and idea of love/trust. This is exactly why I get so irritated when he asks me if I love him, bc it’s not even a question. But to him it comes off like I’m being cold and discarding him bc I don’t immediately hang all over him and say how much I love him. In my head I’m thinking, the amount of trust and loyalty I give to you and have in this relationship, and how much I value those things should be such a pure sign of how much I love you, point blank
Great video. You nailed it. I have hard time saying, “I love you”. I would probably give them a bandaid.
Yep. ;))
Do agree🤣i rather show😏
Nearly brought me to tears with this, my dude. Never have I felt so understood, since moving out from my mom's house...which was 21 years ago. Especially, the explanation using the war movies. I always thought I liked gratuitous violence and got unnaturally emotional, but I don't specifically like to watch violent movies. This video and explanation put everything into perspective for myself AND hopefully my wife, who is definitely not an INFJ. Thank you sir.
I am not sure what to say but if she watched it, then I hope so too. Thank you for the kind words. TYWC - Marty
If I had to call 911 for some body that screwed me. I will only do it because I do not want to be brought up on charges for not calling 911.
That's awesome. lol TYWC - Marty
Brilliant, the truth makes you laugh. This was deep, thanks for the video ❤, so true, so so true. Ditto
When you're with an INFJ, you dont need to hear "i love you" you fee it.
Yes. TYWC -Marty
What timing. Literally had a conversation about trust with an istp friend the other day. Had not thought about it before and totally contradicted myself by saying I believe everyone is inherently good. So I trust blindly, but that I don't have many friends because I've gotten walked all over in past and it makes it hard to let new people in... I put up walls!!! So do I trust people or not what a contradiction!?!
I think you're description was better. I never thought about trust in my relationships.
Also really relate to your section about how infjs love as an infj woman. I fall in love with people who don't love me, and then am unable to switch it off or move on. I don't understand how people can move from relationship to relationship. Severing and forming bonds it's an absolute process. It takes time but once the bond is formed it's almost impossible to break. I spent 10 years in an emotionally abusive relationship, I couldn't give up on it. Until the the final moment when I realised it was never going to get any better, it was the same issue repeating. Then the door slam. That's the first time I was conscious of my door slam technique. Everything I felt for him was dead and indifferent so I was finally able to leave.
Gotta love the infj door slam super power ;-)
Hi Jessica. I will touch on this some more and I am glad this worked for you. Sometimes simple is better and easier. ;) TYWC - Marty
It is so so true that 'trust' for an INFJ is not something you necessary build, it's like we either trust you right from the get go or never at all
Right. The trust is not a building block as with other types. TYWC - Marty
This is spot on. People tell me I am crazy and too much. Until I started believing it so whenever I describe myself to others I would say I am possessive, obsessive and other dragging down adjectives because I cannot describe myself properly.
Hi Soil. That is all very good, I say this< " I am very complex and not easy. Just warning you." TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn The funny thing is that whenever I am about to enter a relationship I literally tell them I am crazy (cause I don't want to explain myself it will take long and be confusing) I ask them can you handle it and they just see it as a small deal and be like yeah. After months, they want to be out and tell people I am crazy and I am like ?????????? I told you. Hahahahahaha. From now on I will tell the same to other people. Thanks. 😊
Hi Soil. So true and I get it. But I never say, " I told you so." They already know. TYWC - Marty
I have never ever felt so understood in my life as I do watching this!💕
Always doing my best. Thank you for the vote in that effort. TYWC - Marty
I have never written so many comments on a channel. But I can't stop watching your videos. This was so... perfect. I've never felt so understood. I was in tears. I really appreciate your content.
Very good. I think maybe, like others, you have to warm up to me and my thoughts. TYWC - Marty
You said you don't know why you would watch someone bleed on the cement and not call 911 if someone screwed you over that you loved and you don't know why.
I would love to say the reason why. As we like to give 200% and love unconditionally we like to expect the same from the other person. As soon as they make the misttep to screw us over we identified this person as untrust worthy and unauthentic and hurtfully and we truly do not feel pity for people like them. We don't feel anything for them positively. We just know they exist and that will be it. As soon as you are in the system you won't get out easily. As soon your out the system you will not get back in. Never. Because the other person would never be believable again. It's like watching your superhero killing a good person and losing all faith in him. That's how we see things as well. As soon as you make the step to be wrong to me. You will never come close to me ever again. Probably wouldn't even let you notice that I threw you out. Just dead to me. End of story.
Hi M.... Well said. That is how it goes for sure. I am just not so sure some people on RUclips like to hear that. TYWC - Marty
Well said..I'm the same
This makes me cry so much. This is also me as a infjgirl.
I dont consider the i trust, i know before you spoke.. i would kill and get killed for my friends and family and this is so fucking spot on. How could anyone ever say martys is any other type? I want to Kill them with an objekt, rip ther heart out and screm that i for the first time ever feel understood and not weird and your a lunitic he has forgotten due to doorslaming and amnesia to your existen, but me as a fellow infj friend remembers it forever.. y should bet that.
I am embodying this scenario as we speak. I gave my EVERYTHING to my (bipolar) husband for 12 years. He started accusing me of having multiple, disgusting, affairs, out of nowhere (I hate sex), and it just shut something down inside of me. I tried to reason, defend, explain... until I just stopped. I loved him because I WANTED to. I CHOSE to love him. I didn't do it out of obligation or because it was expected... and that is something I just can't explain. I love the people who I CHOOSE to love. I don't love because it is EXPECTED of me. And like you said, I LOVE with everything in me, until I am screwed over. When someone accuses you of something you didn't do, I don't defend myself to prove to you that I didn't do it. I defend myself because I have morals and values inside of myself that have NOTHING to do with you, and I dont want someone else's vile words make them feel like they have the power to tear a piece of my morals and values away from me. People don't care to understand that.
I am so blessed to have found this community
I don't like labels, but it is nice to know that I'm not alone! Thank you for being here! I am now a subscriber 👍
Sorry to hear that and the BiPolar is tough. Very. I hear your text and…life? Does it have to be so difficult? TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn I know it's just difficult for now. This too shall pass, right? Ugh, reading that original message back to myself days later... I sound so whiney and gross. Thank you for seeing my heart and taking the time to reply ❤️
I’m an INFJ, and your points are straight out how I feel when it comes to trust.
I’m either all in or nothing, but there is no middle.
I like your videos, and you describe the perfect picture of INFJ personality. 👍
Thank you and always doing my best. I keep it real to me and what happens next is not up to me but the comment section. TYWC - Marty
With reference to trust, if an INFJ believes you have the potential to be trusted, the judgement aspect in their personality type will them set out to grow that person whom they become attached to into trustworthiness. Think about it because Judgement to us means teach, challenge and grow those that we attach to.
I love your insights, thank you.
I really love the confidence you give me about my feelings. I know I'm intense so I convince myself that I shouldn't have the standards I do
Why would you ever act that way? I would never but I would respect those around me. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn it's only because I don't want to make people uncomfortable. I dont waiver from my standards, I just stay quiet cuz they wont understand me. Also thank u again. I know you respond to everyone but I still greatly appreciate when people acknowledge my existence
I get it and understand it. On point. :) As for responding to all... That is what it is all about and i am glad you notice. Great stuff. - Marty
Dude! So same! Lawd 😂
I’ve already decided about the trust whether I’m wrong to do it or not and yes, saying I love you is rare for me even if I love you. I say for others.
One partner is always telling me he loves me and that I have no idea how much he loves me. And I’m like…I do but if it means you win, then ok 😂
He’s a romantic and sweet.
I’m a long term partner like I’m here for life unless you push me away or leave but but imma always love you smh
Trust and love are implied for me when I decide to invest in a relationship. The love is for ever, yet one can choose to disconnect the relationship if it somehow is not serving/in best interest for one or both. Once my decision is made about disconnecting the decision is made. And in my experience it is so clear, that the other person will not question the decision, even if the same problem/issue have been voiced earlier and in that time handled differently and not resulted in making the decision about disconnection.
On the other hand many new relationships have failed before the decision about investment into the relationship because of the loss/lack of trust you have mentioned in another video. Btw that was a real explainer for me. It connected a missing dot for me.
Very good and glad I could offer help. TYWC - Marty
Being an infj female and hearing your explanation on “ trust “ every single last word you said and the way you said it is exactly EXACTLY how my mind thinks to the last thought !!! Never in my mind have I ever heard anyone ! anyone think the exact same thoughts as I !!! It’s uncanny !!!
Thank you for that. You know that’s why for example, I did the video one Wendy, and a comparison of INFJ and what the community thinks. The videos that I’ve done in the past on specific ways that cognitive functions are seen with regards to MBTI and the types, is why I bring the question out, because those videos are so deep and ingrained; you cannot fake being honest about the content. Those videos from years ago were not rehearsed or written down or planned. So in essence, I have this saying that I sometimes say: here, catch the marker.
Which basically means that it does not matter what you say you are, you would write and say what I said, and then you would be described as a person who thinks a specific way and MBT and its study of personality types has concluded that a person who speaks, thinks, and acts in that manner is best fitted with the INFJ personality type. … and I get hated on by the very people who say they are INFJ ??? TYWC - Marty
Hello Marty! Still catching up on your videos, but I got to comment on this one, as you are the only one I have heard in the MBTI community here in RUclips that mentions what you said about giving oneself to save another with regard to movie examples: Where INFJ's will have a special emotional reaction/connection when they see a scene where someone is sacrificing themselves for the sake of another, or others. My jaw dropped when you said that and I said, "You too?!!" I think of so many movies where this is happened, Spock saving the crew of the Enterprise in Star Trek II, same with George Kirk in 2009's Star Trek (Ok, I'm a Trekkie) and they are other scenes in movies where sacrifice was made but YOU said it, it makes us trickle. It is these real tidbits of raw detail that you present that makes your channel special.
Hi Jeff. I was very young when Spock (same for me) did that and I will do you one better: Have you know always had a special place for Spock because at his core he is about the 'WHOLE' and never about him self or the one? A strange care for him that goes beyond the norm and a feeling you never shared with anyone or maybe only a select few and you never REALLY shared your true depth of emotional connection to his character. "
Just say'n ;) Thank you for the kind words because i take a lot of hate here... shit. lol TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Yes, Spock has been sort of a role model for me in a way. In fact my ISFJ BFF of 12 years calls me "My own personal Mr. Spock". I can see why she says that, although Spock has been typed to be an INTJ, very close cousin to us INFJs. I am not an INTJ - wished I could be though. Cause they don't have Fe wanting to take control of the "driver's seat" in the stack. Less worries for that type. :-D
Hi Jeff... Yep. Only those in the know had ' Spock' as their role model but something tells me many did. TYWC - Marty
As an INFJ, I completely agree with how you have described how an INFJ loves! As far as trust, I have a hard time trusting anyone, because my experience (bias) is that everyone will eventually do something to mess it up or betray me. I have very few friendwhips and am single at 50, because I have trouble trusting.
Hi Cynthia. Same here. I said this in the video but my words missed your ears. Spot on! ;) TYWC - Marty
When he said " i cant even put it on words" I UNDERSTOOD.
:) TYWC - Marty
Same for this INFJ female for trust. I'm pure instinct. I'm in an INFJ/INFJ relationship. Trust = understanding for us, I think. Trust is only an issue if someone tells me I should distrust and gets in my head. Love is my biggest fear but when I'm in it, I MEAN it for the long haul. This is spot on! The watch you die....also accurate.
Thank you for the comment. It is pretty cool when another person says something and it fits the mirrors reflection. That is always very cool for me when I look into personality or mental health. Yes, I was not sure on the 'watch you...' it is harsh but it is how I feel. Many, I think, do not understand so it comes off as dark or ice cold. Glad you did not hate on me. ;)) Thank you for watching and the comment.
BethAnne, more than likely one of you is an INFP typed as an INFJ. Two people of the same type cannot be in a meaningful sexual relationship . It would be like kissing your brother.
I find that very interesting: Kissing your brother? Although I do not agree, but the opinion Walter, is not so off base that it should not or could not be considered. It is a very interesting take on the MBTI and all that makes us who we are. Interesting thought. Thanks for the comment. - Marty
No, Marty, that is not an exaggeration of your feelings for others because I feel that way for my sisters and why I stayed at home when I wanted to leave but stayed to be of help and comfort to my sisters. That's how much I loved them as an INFJ. I even loved my mother despite her treachery/ anger which I left at 28 years old to have a life of my own. I had to because as an INFJ and my mother who is a strong narcissistic sociopath -one of us would not survive for long!
Angela...
I have read each and every comment you have placed within my comment section. I appreciate that but I would do this if I were you...
Study the cognitive functions of young and become an expert in the difference between 'Behavioral MBTI' and 'Cognitive Function MBTI'. I do believe that will help you and also, please keep in mind that I answer every comment and many of your comments are just not related to the deep meaning of my channel but just you giving a soft opinion of the deepness of the MBTI / Jung cognitive functions or behavioral meanings of personality types. I am going to send this comment to all your other comments so when they come through in a few minutes please know why.
If you are confused or wondering: "Empathy and Sympathy are not within the INFJ MBTI cognitive functions and I am not sure you truly understand why that is and believe it."
TYWC - Marty
Thank you so much, Marty. You explained it very well, anytime I watch a movie when there's an emotional scene that comes on my tears come down automatically. Also, when I listen to sad music, I can almost imagine how the singer feels and why he or she wrote it for. When I meet strangers I can immediately tell, whether I will get along with them or not.
After one year of your video.Your word hit my heart cause i haven't tell anyone that i love you by my mouth..
Exactly. Show it. What are words? Nothing but words. Actions and freewil tell the story of how you feel toward someone. TYWC - Marty
You become complacent to the lost love “the sidewalk” not out of hate because INFJs love so intensely we have to shut off our nervous system to lost love and compartmentalize them as non existent because the emotions are too overwhelming. I really think that is because even though we love deep we don’t often understand it nor the fact that it’s so much deeper than normal humans. My love at its extreme is an intoxicating drug to myself and to women who find me in this state. I say in this state because it’s not the love women have for me that is the magnetizer but the vibe of being in my space when I’m drunk on love itself. The highest state of our brain is an orgasmic refreshment of reality, like a Buddha-hood, were we see everything as beautiful. I personally know when I feel like that someone is going to really hate me and bring my mood down. I also know it’s this state of mind that women find sexually attractive in us. So they don’t love the way we love which is confusing. The way we love turns them on sexually. Negative emotions themselves are overwhelming. When you have haters you feel the hate that you see in them until you realize it’s not preventable so you have to shut them out to stop the hate transfer. It’s impossible not to shut people out because with powerful emotions the cost of others emotions working through us is like smoking their feelings.
Depth and width in this comment. Overall I would agree and have nothing in return but thoughts later to apply toward life. Nice comment. Well done. TYWC - Marty
Marty, I just watched few of your videos and not a single video failed to get me goosebumps all along. Also, when you were lacking words or taking pauses in between to speak out a word(s) for describing 'what love is for an infj', i was actually mentioning some words myself and ended up listening to the same words coming out from you. And also, you mentioned this in your other video that you feel 'a single line or word from you might help someone out'. Just watching few of your videos make me feel in each every cell of myself that there is someone out there(YOU) who is like me, complicated yet simple like me, the walking contradiction like me. Dont know if your videos will help me to balance myself or be a mature infj but i do feel a bit better and understood. We listen to others a lot and i really cant explain in words what it feels to be understood without saying a word. You did it. So credit to you. Thanks and keep making videos.
Pretty much and thank you for the kind words. TYWC - Marty
Love is unconditional.Without condition.Universal unconditional love and support for everything universal.Radical.
;) TYWC - Marty
This video is breaking my heart . its so True !!! That i don't know how i will ever get over the trauma of my cheating husband ; i feel like iam dying inside. This explains exactly how i feel !!! And how deep the hurt goes!!!
Kick him to the curb. Good riddance! Hello world I'm here and I'm a loving person!!! Repeat daily!
The key with a cheating husband is complex and always hurts. What hurts most is the words and actions toward you and the thoughts of the other person but there is a way to see it and I am going to do a video for another viewer and I will have you in mind as well. No matter what your feelings are valid and they hurt. I am sorry.
Tell me this though: Is it easier to think of someone cheating because you deserved it or because you did not? Is that a tough question or an easy question to answer? Does the question even count?
TYWC - Marty
That is great advice Mary. ;) - Marty
@@marty_glenn just saw your reply ! Both! But my main question. To myself was ; what did i do to bring this on?And his part ; how much damage is this marriage in.
I’m honestly so glad I found your videos… I always felt excluded and weird .. and now I can finally relate to people that feel like me. Thank you for each of your videos.
You are welcome. Always trying to do my best. TYWC - Marty
Please don't stop ever, you are doing a great great work for all the infj's out there. Love from india
One request- please make positive videos and motivation tips or lifehelps for infj's carrer path and principles to keep
Okay. I will and plan on it and think I am doing that, but yes... I see your view. My one request: Always remember this is my channel for me and not for you.
The comment section is for you; it is for all of us. With that said: I heard you and appreciate the comment. I heard you. Well said. ;) TYWC - Marty
Wow, as an INFJ (female) it's sOOO HARD to explain this, i'm 25 and all of this has always been so rough for me to understand and to try to even get other people to understand. But you explained it so well to the point that it made me tear up. Thank you making this video! Now I can probably articulate it a lot better to those closest to me.
Great! Very happy to have helped. TYWC - Marty
This is so true. As an INFJ, I don’t consciously think about whether or not I trust someone. It’s instinctual. And it isn’t “judging a book by a cover” where I base my opinion upon their appearance...it’s almost elemental on an emotional level. I sense their emotional aura (for lack of a better word). And I have no qualms about cutting people out of my life in an instant if they are unhealthy for me.
As for “I love you”, that hit hard. My husband is constantly saying it which is fine and I deeply love him too but constantly saying it makes it feel shallow. I love him on a level where I would die for him. But I don’t have to say it.
What is hard as well is this: Why is he saying it so often and for the woman that will make her doubt his inner strength in him and I do not think this is the case for you but maybe for others: A woman who loses that respect for her man in that way is going to have a problem holding onto that lust for that man. TYWC - Marty
Marty do u know what u don't trust...
Your brilliance
U don't trust its entirety
You can't believe how brilliant you truly are
You nail the most arduous of allllll
The subjectivity..
Interiority of a human being
Namely
The infj
Thank you for the kind words. Means a lot. It is a tough life I would not change but I wont be sad or afraid for the last time I close my eyes. :)) TYWC - Marty
Three minutes and around seven:10 ..💯🎯WOW so well put…resonated so deeply with me
... so goes it; so I hear. ;) TYWC - Marty
What is weird is I pretty much refused to say "I love you" as a teenager and refused to give hugs unless absolutely necessary. I didn't want to "waste" (lol) my love, hugs, time, etc. . . . I probably now say "I love you" to my husband 15+ times a day, give him hugs 30+ times a day, and I will even say goodbye to him multiple times (kiss, hug, I love you, see you later) before I actually leave the house. The other day I told him that if "this didn't work between us I would probably change my whole name, leave the country, and just disappear." He knows how much I love him but I think me expressing this really struck him hard and brought more clarity for him. This video spoke to me very much. It's all or nothing and I have given just about everything I can give.
Glad its message was worthy of your time. Nothing is easy and I hope it works out for both of you. TYWC - Marty
It is the most uncomfortable thing for me to say I love you, actions are what show it. People randomly say it who don’t even know you and you feel like you have to say it back, but trying to even get the words out, makes you stutter and feel like they, have to understand how uncomfortable you are trying to play it off. I just discovered today there is nothing more at this point than I want to be able to be one on one picking your brain. The depth of rabbit holes I will go down to understand is crazy. I’m just now learning myself as you speak of trust that word comes to me as surrender, because I already have 10 million thoughts in my head that I keep trying to just be in the moment. I was told we need blinders so I’m going to keep watching your videos as they make sense as I am crossing my fingers to just be able to live with that I don’t care part
I had a near death experience this year, which brought the priest in, too many synchronous disease happened which I cannot explain the possibility. I even told my own priest I don’t trust him to apologize now understanding he’s only person I trust because of his discipline and respect that I am super attached and can’t seem to let him go even though I know I have to, but I lack self-disciplineand not ability. Is that an INFJ thing?
SO incredibly happy I found your channel. Sent this to my husband immediately bc he doesn’t understand why I get so irritated when he asks if I love him; it comes off cold like I don’t care, but in reality it’s irritating bc it’s not even a question and it’s offensive to me. If im showing you loyalty and trust among so many other things, my love for you is unbreakable. And also perfectly describes why I’ve never tolerated cheaters lol fück me over and I’ll watch you bleed out, point blank. Awesome video!
To the Husband of Sara Marie:
Mr Husband. Based on the looks of your wife, I can see some of the dynamics at play within you and her and your marriage. Allow me to help you…
Based on the belief and understanding that you are not INFJ and Sara is and that she is more in line with me and the levels of INFJ that I am. Allow me to give you a few pointers:
1. Every second of every day that you do not hear how she feels about you but with actions, unsolicited by you, is the true nature of love, trust, and affection. The INFJ does it second to none and is your 100% guarantee that you have her trust, are loved and her affection is real.
2. Each and every time you ask for it or doubt her or show action that manipulates her into acting objective to your needs pushes her away and removes bits and pieces of respect that she has for you.
3. You were given 100% trust at some point in time and when you act like the person her comment to me, you take parts away and it probably will never come back.
4. When you act objectively the INFJ will be haunted by those mental pictures and emotions and will detach from that objective view and action and when it becomes something of a front and center action by you, Sara will see you as not worthy and will be fighting internal conflicts of a very serious nature.
5. Here is what I would do if I were you and I hope this helps because it’s great advice and I live it everyday of my life. You want each and every man that sees your wife to want to (your word here) and you want her to feel that as well. It makes her happy and it makes you realize that you have something special in your life. Win / Win.
6. When it comes to other people, including your wife, her FREEWILL is the most important thing she has to offer and give. She can choose to give it to anybody she wants. She is giving it to you and it is based on a solid piece of foundation made of concrete.
If you think your marriage is safe from divorce. It is not. Do not believe me? Keep doing what you are doing. Money and children and hopes and dreams are not a match for internal happiness related to how the INFJ lives it’s life when it has chosen one person to give its EVERYTHING to. It reads to me like you are that chosen one.
In closing, INFJ or not, MBTI aside, I do not want anybody in my life that does not show me freewill and makes a solid decision to choose me and show me with action that I matter to them and that they do it daily. I do my job and I proudly tell the people in my life to fucking do their job.
Reads to me Mr. Husband that she is doing her job - Do your fucking job.
( I know woman and I am no bitch or white knight. This comment is based on a couple of comments that have been written to me from your wife and I know the inner workings of marriage and family and relationships. But if you really understand my comment, this comment to you, you will read that it’s not so much about MBTI or your wife but more about the self esteem my words come from and what appears to be from your wife; you lacking in that same foundational self esteem.)
Do your fucking job or another man will do it for you. If I were to walk by your wife and you, can imagine what energy I put off? No money. No big muscles. No Chad Fuck Boy Vibe. Nothing like that at all. What is the energy?
“ I do my fucking job and I do not ever fucking fail(period)”
TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn SPOT ON! Thanks Marty 🙂 lol this is exactly everything I have never been able to put into words. Being an INFJ is such a curse in so many ways; I crave deep connections and conversations much deeper than surface level in order to feel close and is such a staple of intimacy for me. We have been together for 13 years, and I wondered in the recent years why this hadn’t bothered me until now? It’s because I was never confident and accepting of myself/finally don’t hate myself constantly lol, so I know that I too, deserve that connection and effort that I put forth. What it comes down to is, and it pains me to say it, but I just have come to the conclusion that he is just not capable. I recently discovered that I am an INFJ and it was like a mass epiphany, I couldn’t wait to show him videos and articles I had found that described my existence to a T. After sending him a few of these thinking “wow he’s going to understand me and how my mind works so much better now, this could be such an upturn for us in bettering our relationship and communication in general. After he had read and watched what I sent him, his response was that he’s just confused and doesn’t get it 🤯 soul crushing for me. I’m like how it’s literally laid out in front of you, put into words that you can read an analyze, but after further conversations after this about life and death and our soul’s purpose, he was just on a different planet than I was. Totally confused and had no clue what I was talking about, which is just really shitty bc I love having deep discussions about things like that. We’re just on completely different sides of the spectrum, complete opposites.
Granted, I dove head into this stuff full boar after some major trauma; my best friend of 15 years was murdered a year ago, and my little brother died in a tragic motorcycle accident not even 6 months later. This was a massive turning point for both of us. I’m not a completely different person, and as an INFJ, needed that emotional intimacy and support during that horrific time, and he just is not capable. I’ve screamed at the top of my lungs what I want and need from him to support and help me get through traumatic events like this as my spouse, and he just has no clue how. It’s really sad, he has absolutely zero emotional intelligence because his mother is a narcissist and just silenced and buried their voices for so long that he can’t even slightly discuss his own emotions and feelings. It’s always me trying to force it out of him with the force of every hurricane there ever was lol, and that’s just not how it works.
It’s a constant internal battle and it’s just fuckin shitty. I think half the time; I love him and he’s a great dad to our daughter and I can just figure out how to adapt and be less emotionally demanding of him, I shouldn’t be selfish and that’s not a lot to ask. Then the other side, usually after conflict or something upsetting happens, is just fucking angry, and thinks about how I deserve to be with someone that can do that for me and be in a completely tight emotional partnership with someone that just gets me…and then also think, does that even really exist? 🤣
anyways, sorry for the novel. Not often do you get to talk to anyone that even slightly gets it. I unfortunately do know what the solution to all of this is, but refuse to admit that now/yet. It’s either sacrificing the needs I have that makes me thrive in a partnership and it sounds so mean but, continue to “dumb myself down” to his level so that he even slightly barely gets me…or I quit bitching about it and do something about it (which I’ll never do because now I have a daughter in the mix and I’ll sacrifice it all for her to have the normal life and mom that I always needed and never had 🤷🏼♀️
Whoever says that INFJ’s are the best and glamorizes them, has no idea the curse that it is. Never being able to connect with 99% of people and no one ever having a fucking clue what you’re talking about or understand you as a person. And when/if you ever find one that does, you grip onto them for dear life. Life fuckin sucks sometimes. I’m now back to that complete loneliness and isolation without my best friend, and hurts even more knowing how rare those people/friendships are, and knowing I most likely 99% surely won’t ever have a friendship like that again. So yeah I’d gladly trade someone any day to not be like this lol.
Pity party for myself rant over
Bonus story: my husband’s childhood dog died yesterday; so as you could imagine, it was a full blown meltdown from him and his sister (mini narc and also MIL’s flying monkey). It made me and I still am, enraged. Being that he’s emotionally retarded (not trying to be offensive or funny saying the R word, that’s just the best way to describe it), I dealt with this shit alone and grieved alone/still am grieving alone after losing my best friend and my brother 6 months ago. He actually would just leave most days to go golf or something bc he couldn’t stand to be here bc he doesn’t know how the fuck to be emotionally supportive…to the level that I had to get into a massive fight with him (one of MANY) bc it wasn’t even common sense just to ask how I was doing from time to time, and actually talk to me about my feelings.
So as you can imagine, after he came home last night from watching their dog die, he several times said the words “wow, I think that was the hardest I’ve ever cried”. And in my head I’m screaming; “the HARDEST you’ve ever cried, was for your 12 year old dog that died in his sleep in front of you and your sister, didn’t suffer at al, and you didn’t have to watch him even get put down ? It wasn’t when my brother wrecked a motorcycle and went into an immediate coma on life support and hearing three doctors tell us that there’s no hope, he’s dying and my parents will have to make that decision to take him off life support…THAT wasn’t the hardest you’ve ever cried? Seriously, go fuck yourselves. You’re both acting like fuckin toddlers about your dog that died of old age; how the fuck do you think it would feel if it was your brother?!! But again….not capable to put those two things together so he’s completely clueless that that would have upset me and was like a slap to the fucking face. You didn’t do jack shit for me after my best friend and my brother died; but I’ve had to listen non stop since the dog died about how he needs to cheer his sister up and he’s buying her nice little gifts off of Etsy to make her feel better, bc it’s just SO sad and you all feel so sorry for her…she even had to have two or three people carry her to the car last night after the dog died bc she was just SO unable to function. Give me a fucking break.
I realize I probably sound like a selfish and mean/hateful bitch and a completely cold and terrible wife that’s not there for her husband during this sad time. But after how his sister and mother treat me like fucking dirt, and he didn’t do shit for me through this horrific year losing two people that were so close and special to me, I can’t find a shred of sympathy. Like I said before, we’ve been together over a decade…it’s not like his family doesn’t know me. …..but cherry on top here we go- his mom or sister didn’t so little as send me a fucking text message or ever care FOR 6 MONTHS after I lost my brother, and they live five minutes down the road. It actually nauseates me. People like them are why I fuckin hate everyone.
….but yeah seriously, poor him. I stayed up almost all night last night cleaning and scrubbing OUR home, got groceries and bought everything to update our bathrooms today… and this morning he said “I really could have used a supportive wife last night” 💀🙃 idk how I’m not in jail right now. So that’s why my conclusion is that he’s incapable, because if you don’t catch those things and hear yourself and think “oh shit , can’t imagine how it felt to lose a brother snd a best friend then
I have a few questions
1. When was your husband born?
2. Are you older or younger?
3. Do you live east coast, west coast or middle USA?
4. Your occupation? His occupation?
5. Children? Sex(s)? Age(s)
Confirmation: 13 year marriage
With those questions answered, I can pretty much with 99% accuracy tell you what hides within your home or what is brewing now or what will happen in 24 - 60 months. Do or do not, up to you but if you decide not to give me those answers, you can email me direct if you prefer, please ask yourself one question: You wrote your comments for me and I am wondering if you have even gone back and read them back to yourself. Have you?
I can describe your life in one word and there is nobody at fault or a bad person in this. Life is tough. - Marty
Marty - love simply means support. I am an infj and I have no problem saying I love you to others. I say it all the time. All the time.
I don't have to go over with you all the ways that society has misused the term LOVE. As an INFJ you already know it.
The correct use is simply support. I LOVE you. I SUPPORT you. This is healthy love. I support you is a wish for the best for all. I wish you the best always. I bless you with a happy healthy life.
This allows for healthy boundaries sans tentacles of control or ridiculous dreams of fantasy fulfillment.
Simply - I love you - I support you - I wish you the best life ever. No strings attached and no debt for you to owe me.
I love you!
Please accept my support in honoring your best life ever!!!!
I appreciate this. You know I was reading and i got like: WTF and then I read this:
You said: "I don't have to go over with you all the ways that society has misused the term LOVE."
momo gets it... Well said. TYWC - Marty
and the bond is not broken/discarded unless you completely, and royally fuck me over, because the bond is so strong that the threshold and capacity for forgiveness is also ridiculously high due to depth of love and understanding of the other person's actions/emotions. Working on reducing that threshold because experience is telling me it just comes around again bigger and bolder than before. Enjoying your videos, I come back to this topic every couple of years or so to try to keep my understanding of self in check. I don't think I'm quite as jaded as you just yet, but you've got a few years on me. Was told I was this type in elementary school and retest myself every few years, hoping for a change. No luck yet, think I'm stuck with it.
Great comment. :)
* Thank you for the comment. The RUclips comment system is flawed and sometimes comments get missed or something else happens with them. I am not sure. Sorry for a late response. TYWC - Marty
I just came across this video today but it couldn't be more well timed. Thank you for explaining how Trust 'doesn't even come into play'. I have been having a hard time explaining to others how you can love someone, without trusting them. Sure you can trust them in certain regards, but truly trust them? Sometimes you just know. I can trust them to show up on time, but I can't trust them to not lie about something stupid. Then trying to explain why it doesn't matter because you don't fully trust anyone. Not to mention when dating someone saying 'I love you' feels like a lie. Not because you don't love them. You do love them and don't want them to be hurt, you want the best for them, you feel warmly toward them....But when I say 'I love you' of my own volition...it means a whole new cosmic level type of love. A love that still remains even after a terrible amount of pain. It was nice to watch your video and see that I am not the only one.
Nope. You are not. TYWC - Marty
I watched a few of your videos and I’m glad to have found you. I feel like as you are speaking that all my thoughts are being read back to me. I wish we could be friends because it’s difficult 😣 getting understood by others. I understand you.
Maybe the new direction of the channel, stay tuned in the coming weeks, will make you happier about the channel. TYWC - Marty
I'm an infj-t, and I have this friend, there was this time I almost couldn't believe my ears when she told me to tell her, 'I love you', I was like, hey luv, one is you are my friend, two is for the fact you are my friend is more than enough proof of my love for you. I thought I was being harsh, she thought so too, lol, I eventually said the words, to soften the atm. I couldn't believe it man. She fell so overboard for me, I just convinced her to take some chill, I understood how she felt... It was so divinely.
And I do sync with you man, like 100%
Yes. Totally can relate. Same page! TYWC - Marty
So fucking true marty.. Gosh this is amazing.. That's exactly how an INFJ feels. If an INFJ loves you he would die for you. Period
Yep. Very real. TYWC - Marty
* Sorry for late response
I am crying. am I an infp!! This is so emotional. loved some one so deeply, broken into pieces, slammed the door . Te slam door is real. other side may be think I am selfish or cold. The slam door was near death experience of my soul. I had to broken all the chain, the attachment. Saw so many people communicating to their x !
I was not aware that I am that way but this is so true! Great explanation!
You are welcome. Always doing my best. TYWC - Marty
this makes absolute sense. it is exactly how i feel. i never even thought about it. it really is very simple.and also i do not like lying. if i say i will do something, i will. nothing can stop me. i will do it even if i do not like it or even hate it. i will die for it. because i said so. it is like a steel core going through my very being. it just IS. the same with love, and friendship. i may only stand 1,47 meters tall. but that is how i stand tall
Yes. It is too bad that it is invisible and hidden inside you. Know what I mean. TYWC - Marty
This is an absolutely amazing video and I don't say that lightly. I resonate strongly with everything you said here about trust and love, I actually understand myself better after watching this video - thank you.
Thank You. Glad you found it worthy of your time. Now what is Red Pill. I have no clue what that is or what Red Pill Counseling would even be. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Ah, red pill is just a reference from the Matrix movie. The central character Neo is offered a choice, he can take the red pill and find out the truth about reality and how deep the rabbit hole really goes or take the blue pill to essentially opt out, go back to sleep and live a comfortable yet deluded life. I worked as a psychotherapist myself for some years (though I'm doing other things now) and in England we are commonly referred to as counsellors. Thanks for your reply, I look forward to digging into your other videos very soon.
A very informative INFJ! So far I've watched 3 videos and so far you've hit them all right in the head!
Thanks Morris. - M
I literally have said this to people so much, eventually I get back to ultimately accepting the fact I just don’t care about these things. It’s strange and often times hard to admit because I understand why people do spend so much time on trust and it makes sense, again I believe it’s trivial.
Trivial. Good word. TYWC - Marty
As an INFJ male, I loved a woman for 9 years. Unconditionally, and in the most purest way Ionly knew how. Never had eyes for anyone else ever. She cheated on me with a narcissist. 1 year later after the INFJ door slam, she messaged me to tell me about him. We spent 5 months talking andI actually thought and was willing to try again. In the end...she wasnt going to leave him. So I had to walk again. She didnt appreciate me then. Those were her words, but oddly enough...she didnt appreciate me a 2nd time. Never felt hurt that way ever in my life...ever!
Sorry and such a hard way to learn a lesson. From the outside I can share this with you: “ the way the brain is wired and changed by others within our lives, those who act insidiously evil (if you want to describe it as evil-not sure that I would all the time) but from what I can tell in my experience woman in general cannot be trusted with your heart or your life.
I live my life protected. Always protect oneself before you give it all away because a woman can get what she needs at any turn and a man cannot. That in and of itself is something that should mean something to you. TYWC - Marty
I had to send this to my gf, thank you so much for explaining like that love your videos
Holy shit I needed to see this! I thought I was the only one with these ... trust/love functions of mind.
This is helping me understand myself so much better, the rapid transition of thought makes me go crazy and this bond you speak of happens very frequently, too bad tho I only get disappointed
You are welcome and always glad to help in any way. TYWC - Marty
I love your videos...I watch them and read the comments and I feel less alone. Sometimes I feel like we're so lonely (not all the time of course) because the rest of the world is so far behind our way of thinking...maybe we're all destined to live in solitude...maybe if we were dumber or slower to catch on to the BS of the world... we'd be happier...🤷♀️ lol
Solitude is a word the INFJ knows all too well. TYWC - Marty
The attachment is pure and free, it is meant to last a lifetime. It is our gift.
Agree, I would let "those people" bleed out as well.
Hi PR... With a twinkle in the eye too. That is so bad lol but so true and it is real. Watch out... LOL TYWC - Marty
So happy I found this video. It answers many questions I had. Thank you very much for this.
You are welcome and thank you for the support. TYWC - Marty
This is true, all of it. Every video, it's weird having answers given.
No one should say “I love you” unless. We know the true definition of the word love and mean it from the heart. But if we really do love someone. We must tell them, that we love them ❤️
What is the definition of the word ' love ' when you say it to a person? Maybe this....? I like you more then a stranger? TYWC - Marty
Marty Glenn , You mean love is . Liking someone more they a stranger? No, dead wrong.
I could cry listening to how accurately I relate lol
Always doing my best. Thank you for the words. TYWC - Marty
I'm living this right now, I was in a 6 years long relationship, we were engaged, he broke up with me and blamed on my values and life choices.
And I loved him and I trusted him with EVERYTHING I had, I was even quitting my job, my apartment, my family and my country for him.
But when he came back 3 months later, explaining that he was confused and wanting to check if there were better options for his single life, I couldn't feel a thing, it was astonishing even to me.
HaHa. What an idiot. Not cool. I get your feelings and why. Solid boundary. Always important. TYWC - Marty
You made perfect sense and it is absolutely true!! Thank you!!
Are you sure June. I think that was too easy. Too good to be true. lol - Marty
@@marty_glenn That's how amazing you are at explaining from the heart/gut/emotions.
Ohhhh. Well thank you very much. - Marty
It spooky how much you are dead on point. Thank you.
Doing my best. Thank you for the many nice comments. TYWC - Marty
Trust. Good topic. Im overly sensitive about trust. I trust no one. Having said that, if you’re in my limited circle, we are beyond trust. However, if trust is broken, its not ever going to get back to the organic, authentic trust we had. It will be a diluted version which really isn’t “trust.”
Well said. TYWC - Marty
Also an INFJ and the talk of the trust/love relationship is very similar to the description of demisexuality. We only feel desire when the trust threshhold has been met. Then the emotional connection which blossoms to love. "The seeds of truth are the sweetest fruit, for seeds of truth is trust. It grows in those that can and will, and dies in those that must." --S.M.Andersen Amen.
Some true words. TYWC - Marty
You said it all Marty!👍
My sentiments exactly...
Thank you. I think others think the same. TYWC - Marty
OMG. I'm loving your videos because I can relate to everything you say. "I love you" never made any sense to me because I didn't think that the phrase expressed the way I felt, it just wasn't right, even though I "loved" those persons so much. I usually said that because I know that is what people need to hear, but there were so much more...
Also about dying for the ones we "love" it's one of the reasons why I decided to be alone. It always starts great, but then I start giving so much and everything I do is always about the other person, to the point I can't do it anymore. At the same time I can't say, give me some space, let me be for a while, because I can't stop feeling that that's not right, that's not how it's supposed to be, so that's when I decide to end things. It's the only way I can be at peace and focus on myself. Otherwise my whole life will be about the other person.
You should definitely check out his video love why you will fail (or something like that.) It describes exactly what you said in your second part.
Hey Rodrigo... What would you like me to say. Oh ya I got it... " Rodrigo, Here is the marker - I gotta go get some coffee. See you in a half hour. Now don't fuck up my channel and say a bunch of foul words, okay? " LOL
Very well said. Spot on. TYWC - Marty
Thanks M I J. TYWC - Marty
@@mguitarguy1997 Nice, yeah, I'm gonna watch it so I can see more of when it comes to that. Thanks :)
@@marty_glenn Hahahah, yeah, I agree, it was enough of those words for a single comment.
I'm so far into the future, I already ruled the universe for 180 billion years and now I have traveled back in time.
Great video. I just found your page awhile ago but spot on
Thank you. Not monsters but ya, monsters. Why? Cuz everyone else has zero moral code. No honor. Broken and scarred with no ability to heal or see or feel another person. So yes … monsters. But are we really? TYWC - Marty