INFJ | What it is like being an INFJ - T? For Males and Females alike.
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- Опубликовано: 27 авг 2024
- Most people do not understand. They only think rarest personality type and want it. Well come and get it! Serious. How do I get rid of it? In this video I touch on the topic on a basic level.
Below is a nice poem about this video written by a viewer. I think it is really good. What do you think?
** From Viewer **
Lee Gridley
'Solitude'
The waking moments filled with despair, coarsing cursedly through this physical prison,
Why so plainly do I feel this grief, this unquestionable load,
I didn't ask for this tortured experience but without it I feel incomplete, meaningless,
Why then must the former be achieved to conquer the latter,
The answer inconceivable, the goal an illusion,
A deprived need gone begging,
Only a dream, a living dream.
Any INFJ's find an unnatural bond with animals? An no, I don't mean in a heavy petting zoo kinda way.
Hi Sage. That is a big one and the common occurrence is having animals look at you for longer and or sense you and your wanting to pet them and to be close or dog owners telling you, " Wow, he/she likes you "
I am sure you get it. TYWC - Marty
Sage Fogoso
My beagle, I could talk inside my head, she would do the commands. Backed up by a 4 year old boy that took my beagle for a walk. When he brought her back, he said,, do you know you can talk to her inside of your mind, and she listens? I said yes. 20 years later, I do not forget this. Many other tales!!!
How do I get to do that. lol - M
@@marty_glenn 😀
Yeah that's some next level stuff
My whole life, I've encountered people who've owned pets that did not like strangers, marvel at how easily and quickly their pet(s) would treat me like family. The same is true of children. I am by no means a child psychologist, or behavior therapist, but somehow I have an innate ability to gain the trust and acceptance of kids in short order. It might me because I still feel like a kid at heart.
Can't change what you are Marty... definitely not a curse ....it's a gift as long you can accept it...embrace it .....took a long time for me to figure it out .... starting with something's wrong with me to ......this is me ...infj and proud....
Stressful at times but not a curse .. definitely not a curse
Take care
Working on it. Working on it. lol ; ) Thank you for Watching and the Comment (TYWC) - Marty
Bhanu prakash
True true true
exactly...
This made me feel a little better, thank you 💕
I struggled with two of the last videos of yours I watched. Specially cause Marty talks about having been narcissistic... 🤔
My narc abusers told me I should hate how I am. I struggle with the way I process the world because people around me don't appreciate it or like it, and because I have so much I deal alone.
But INFJ'ness is NOT a curse to me, I accepted it, I accept me. I choose to see myself in the best kindest light... otherwise I loop and my light goes out. And I choose not to.
INFJ-T female here and this is so spot on. People on the outside think that just because we are 'rare' that it must be amazing and fun to be one, while there are times where being an INFJ can have its good moments (like when I go into my inner world and have time to just safely be me at my core) but then there is this nagging feeling that we don't belong in modern-day society. I found out only two years ago that I have this personality, I am only 22 years old and I have so many more years of reading people, learning about how to use the things that I have been given. Now that I look back on my childhood I understand why other students and peers my age didn't get me. It's a burden and a blessing at the same time.
Yep. Well said. Obviously I have my videos and what I say and do so I hope it helps in ways that other related channels do not cover. So many out there and I just figure F' it, do Marty and see what happens. lol so far so good. - Marty
True people said I was lucky
...you get it....& this means you are gonna be Just Fine...it may not be as hard as you fear, since you have excellent rationalizing skills.. :)
For me the inability to settle equals a constant dissatisfaction. Nothing is ever good enough or quite done, everything can be improved upon. Never-ending anxiety.
Hi Kimberly.
You said: "settle equals a constant dissatisfaction"
Me: I get it. I really do. In fact, there are ways I could say this but are not PG and not for the comment section where it crushes my relationships.
Me: End up feeling... 'Never-ending anxiety.'
TYWC - Marty
Female INFJ... MSC degree, MBA and still feels like something is missing
N C It’s the worst feeling.
Constantly trying to refine and perfect, constantly trying to master something. Ughhh lol
*Ang* Yes!
I always have to prep myself to act normal when I know I’m gonna meet new people so it doesn’t seem, as Marty said, like we’ve known each other for 20 years.
Hi A J. I get what you are saying and I don't hold back. I cant but that does lead to other problems for me. I should take your advice. TYWC - Marty
Ugh. Yes. Happens All the time. Every Single Time i go out, i attract at least 2 'old friends' i just met that day...Some days they Gravitate to me, like iron filings to a magnet...so, i quickly developed a defense mechanism...each time it happens, i scan my mental notebook & pick a subject that made their eyes twinkle when they mentioned it, to ask questions about..this distracts them from me because they really like that small bit of attention to detail & it makes me feel good to know i helped them feel good.
With IQs around 130, just below genius level, but significantly higher than 99% of the people places us socially in an awkward place within society. A little smarter and we wouldn’t give a shit and little dumber and we wouldn’t be such misfits. In group social situations, I feel like I’m surrounded by children that aren’t cute. Mostly, I’m bored back into my mind. Yes, I was able to follow you even when your mind skipped over phrases and sentences.
Yep. You are correct. I am single for a reason and over the last year I have surrendered to many thoughts and feelings. The woman in my life hate to love me and hate to love being with me. I have very few friends and that just seems to be the way of it.
I try to to speak clear and fast but sometimes it is hard because I want to be unplanned and unscripted so to hear you can follow is great news. I think videos that are slow and longer then 8-10 minutes are not the best but the content is not easy. I feel if those who want to really get it will understand will spend the time or come back later.
Plus I respond to every comment and making sure that each and every word and sentence and point is on point is so hard and as you know I read them 20x. It is a pleasure to do but the other side is very tough. I know you get it.
Always doing my best. - Marty
"surrounded by children that aren't cute" this is 100% true, no one gets us but I think it's because we're too idealistic and the standards are too 'high'
@@marty_glenn ahahah I so Identify with reading my responses 20x.
Me in a room full of people...I feel like I'm talking to rain man... Dustin hoffman... what a great actor..
INFJ here. IQ tested between 148-152. Always being gaslight, told I talk too fast, and partners always complaining because they say I act like I know everything. Why ask me a question you don't want my honest answer for? Im not going to lie, tell you I don't know, or tell you that you're right just to feed your ignorance and egocentrism.
INFJ female here. Thank you for helping me.
Hi Kim. Pleasure and ‘thank you’ to you as well. :) - Marty
What is the time stamp for females?
Hello, I'm Beatriz 23 years old.
One of the strongest/saddest memories I have is when I was growing up my parents (the people I love the most in this world, the people that I admire and accept wholeheartedly) asked me: "why can't you just be like everyone else?" And of course they don't remember saying that, but I do. So all this time I've been trying to figure out wtf is wrong with me. Last year I took the MBTI test my results were INFJ-T and I was really happy to know I'm not completely alone or crazy. However only recently I've found your videos and honestly most of them just makes me cry and think "finally, someone understands me" or "I wish I'd known sooner..."
So thank you 🙏🏽
You are welcome. I am 49 so it also bring a measure of weight to it that younger types cannot talk to. So good for you. TYWC - Marty
“Youuuuu are not aloneeeeeeee” MJ
I didn't start off watching his videos in learning about what an INFJ is but boy, can I relate with you when you said "most of them just make me cry and think 'finally, someone understands me' or 'I'd wish I'd known sooner'..."
Watching all these INFJ RUclips videos and reading articles, and seriously diving deep into it (as us INFJs do, lol), my mind has seriously been blown.
For one, with just how accurate they are about who I am (not who INFJ's are in general, but like me, individual me) as a person. Like I'm Truman in The Truman Show movie and they've been watching me for so long to be able to give such a detailed description of everything I am, both the things I have come to love and hate about myself.
Secondly, with how everybody else (other INFJs) relate the these videos so much, some to the extent of even sharing personal stories that end up with me saying "no, you're kidding! Nooo, that was me doing that exact same thing just yesterday and hating myself for it and asking myself why the hell I'm the way I am." It's been such a relief to know that other people are this way too and I'm not alone. I'm not weird, I'm not 'TOO MUCH.'
Finding out I'm an INFJ is honestly like the best birthday gift I could receive (I'm also 23 bout to be 24), because for the past 23 years (the years I was conscious anyways), I have been living a life full of blaming and questioning myself so much. Asking myself "why can't I be like other people?" Sigh.
Thank you to all of you, from RUclipsrs to commenters, etc., who have come together consciously or unconsciously, to create these places for all of us INFJs to be able to come to and feel understood. Seriously, thank you!
(lol and as a typical INFJ, I re-read and came back to re-edit this comment, and am constantly wondering about how it is too long, if anybody will even read it, and how I can shorten it and still get my point across. Sigh, aren't we just the most precious gems? :') )
Wow I'm the same age and my family thinks the same but unlike you I only recently found out I'm infj so while that definetly gave me a sense of relief that thinking that " oh my god maybe I'm not the stubborn evil disobedient wrong doer that my family thinks I am when I don't even do 1/4 of the things other people my age do". But it's a lot to take in sometimes when all I want to be is understood by my family and they don't. They have problems and dump everything on me and when I offer a solution they don't want it and think bad of me because Its not my job to offer a solution. And when I try to convey my problems to them, I am met with distrust because according to them and my brother "how can someone have problems that seem so dramatic so she must definetly be lying and do those things like the TV shows to gain attention" . Till this day i ve never wanted attention all I've wanted is to be understood and be accepted for being just me! If not by everyone then atleast my family. But sadly that dosent seem to be happening as well.
Also just wanted to apologize for ranting too long .today has just been a bad day and nobody I have to count on and understand me so I just yea.
@@LadsTalkTime wow you really are precious! and I totally get where you are coming from. How I wish I could meet you guys in real life and be friends. And maybe among you guys I wouldnt feel like such a freak all the time and we could all have people who could ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND us.
INFJ male in mid 40's here. 100% of everything you said resonated with me. Even when you couldn't find the words.
Yep. It is hard since RUclips has some great videos but I found most if not all were not personal enough or deep enough. I wanted to have more real life examples and or thoughts / feelings about it. Also, I did not understand why nobody talks of the crazy hardship it causes instead of this rare unicorn view; that is false or overstated. Thank you for the comment and so true as it relates to not being able to find the words.
Your body language too. We are so passionate when we speak of the matters that we care about that we are constantly moving our arms, hands and body in general 😁
@@marty_glenn i am 36 n still single i resonates with u on each level
INFJ-T 53 get me off this planet.
INFJ-T Male 29
Thank you for sharing. You're helping a lot of us out.
On the "solitude of friendships" part you said you have always envied those who have many friends, and that you just don't get it. I'm assuming you are saying that you have always been solitary, yet envy those with many friends...and that contradiction is what you don't understand. So my take on that is this: I'm the same. Solitary, yet want more friends. But if you think about it, the reason we don't have more friends is many, and most it is that those "friendships" will not be beneficial to us. We give, they take. We're loyal, they betray. We expect too much. Which really isn't too much.. just reciprocation. So it's not worth it. So don't envy them, it's in essence not worth your envy, your thoughts or feelings. It's like we're on the outside of the situation and looking out at everything, and we can see through it. Most if it's fake. Therefore, not worth anything.
Bin-GO. I wish I had that seemingly happy village they show the world with all their bubbly friends, but then I find out, so do they. They don't have it at all. And when YOU give it to them....
They become the takers and users themselves... so...
I currently have an extremely SMALL circle, mostly my kids and spouse.
Exactly! I decided for my own mental health to not put in more effort for a friendship than the other person did. Yes I lost friends but they weren't good ones. Yes it has been hard, but not as costly as the alternative. I still look for friendships but only on my terms, and soon I will be ok with it 🙂
In the end it does seem that the circle of life becomes smaller and smaller out of self preservation. TYWC - Marty
Life of the party, yeah! for a day and then I dissappear and then people hate me for it thinking it's personal
Exactly brother u know the truth I see life from a bird eyes view
Having conversations with any kind of depth is probably the most difficult thing for me. Any time a conversation drifts to anything remotely interesting for me, I can read the disinterest, boredom, or agitation on their faces and body language almost immediately. This feeling feels worse when it's your own spouse that becomes this type of person and you make that realization that they won't ever make you happy and you're wasting your time entertaining the relationship. On the bright side, being so aware and analytical makes it very difficult to be manipulated as I personally see their intent as it's happening.
How do I respond to this as this is how my relationships go and how I destroy each and every one of them. Well said. I am working on this very hard. TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn ...maybe i can help with that......dysfunctional relationships, went same for me until one day i realised....maybe i needed to look into other gene pools...going for the same kind of person only got the same results....look Outside the box...they are out there :)
...maybe i can help with that......dysfunctional relationships, went same for me until one day i realised....maybe i needed to look into other gene pools...going for the same kind of person only got the same results....look Outside the box...they are out there :)
18:40 the first time you said WRONG with me - Fe pricked its ears up like a fox. I really sensed emotionally speaking through your words. Pain and hurt . Your emotions (sorry I know you didn't ask but I felt it clear as day). And through your voice I felt them as mine; whispering across my nervous system. God no you're not weird. I can relate to everything. INFJ and HSP. So its extra intense. Before I knew this I was in hell. If you saw me you'd think I was BPD. I thought I was a wreck of a human being. Not now, I embraced it all. Calm empathic vibe and living my version of self actualiztion. Not perfect. I'm still deep and intense. It is not easy and I relate on every single level. Thank you for the video Marty and to everyone - thank you for being you. Seriously; all that matters is that you understand yourself.
No reply. Some comments deserve no reply. For obvious reasons. Same page; exactly. Thank you. - M
What a relief it is to realize I'm not alone in my absolute bizarrity! Thank you!
Hi Sandy. You know it is a funny thing...
I am not alone helps even when the ' alone ' is equal to pain and the fact that someone else is feeling the same pain makes you feel better about yourself. Strange right? I get it. Yes, I am glad it helps and I feel the same as you do. Keep feeling not alone and one day, I hope for you and for me, that it helps and heals. Thank You for Watching and the Comment (TYWC) - Marty
Interesting to watch an INFJ having the ‘classic’ two conversations at once. 🙏🏼❤️
That is funny. I am glad to entertain you lol TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn when they say this to me..i tell em..yeah, it's ok...as long as we don't get into a fist fight. **snorts** ...& my mind is asking..H0w do they Not have these discussions?
Anyone else have trouble looking others in the eye during a conversation, due to the sensory overload that occurs?
Have you (and how often) received the sensation of dread, when the person you’re looking in the eye suddenly realizes that you’re involuntarily conducting the equivalent of a Vulcan “mind meld”? The vulnerability can range from mild uncomfortableness, to downright scaring the crap out of them, and you (we) in turn absorb that fear.
Conversely, when someone is in a state of bliss, and we gaze into their eyes, we capture their sensation, and want to let it flow through every fiber of our being, right down to our soul.
Very well written
Yes. - M
yeah!
Absolutely yes!!!
Need to wear shades permanently 😎
INFJ-A here...
So viewers understand, it's like surfing: when waiting between the perfect waves, we introspect like this video describes privately, but when we take a wave, we get into a flow state, our extroverted selves is not as complex, we are easy to get along with, warm and genuine.
What Marty is explaining isn't the first few layers you interact with...basically it's a love hate relationship with people, but a deep friendship with ourselves, and its because we feel a tidal pull from people that are suffering inside (Cluster B), courtesy of our ability to sense your soul, your core self, easily see thru your mask, and want to ease your suffering, advocate for your wounded inner child all the while not making it an issue with you (hey, here comes a wave let's drop in on it and have a blast), it's a matter of time before the A type learns to regulate our Fe with mature boundary functions, and steer clear of cluster B.
I'm just saying we are a lot of fun, with a Pan-like attitude, that's curious about the world like a little happy child,
... that deep stuff above is for us INFJs.
Yes. Like that! Thanks for the comment and watching. -Marty
Hit the nail on the head
Ummm, wow!!
Beautifully put!...but, consider this..for some of us..esp those whom have been abused at various degrees...reaching this plateau..may take us a while..if ever. i get there, where you are, too..but, thanks to a rocky start in life it does not take much to beat me back down...& then have to start climbing up all over again
You don't pick up because you're afraid you won't be able to say "No"
Haha Andrei. I am just scared... period. Lol TYWC - Marty
I love how he describes INFJs. "It sucks. It's a curse." I describe myself like thata too. One of my fave quotes is the meme that says "birth is a curse. Existence is a prison." Hahahahaha. I just found this channel today and I already love. It helps me get to know myself in a very detailed way. It makes me feel understood and not alone.
Hi Soil. Thank you for the compliment and so glad I can help. TYWC - Marty
Yup
This is what I relate to deeply!
Finally i found out I'm not alone😥🤦♂️
Hi Thulane
I said this to Sandy L. and I think it fits:
"You know it is a funny thing...
I am not alone helps even when the ' alone ' is equal to pain and the fact that someone else is feeling the same pain makes you feel better about yourself. Strange right? I get it. Yes, I am glad it helps and I feel the same as you do. Keep feeling not alone and one day, I hope for you and for me, that it helps and heals."
Thank You for Watching and the Comment (TYWC) - Marty
Meditation is the best way to accept who really you are dude..
Hey! I'm...I don't usually comment on RUclips, and this is going to be a stream of consciousness, please don't mind me. Sir, trough the whole video I FELT every single word that you've said, every single emotion that you've felt, the way that you speak, the way that you make pauses to think, the way that your voice sounds...I don't know how to convert what I feel right now into words, but I can say thank you so much for sharing. I feel understood and vulnerable and attacked and at peace and..yeah, I feel a lot right now. But it's all good! Thank you so much for speaking up. It's going to be okay, you are not strange. You are understood and you are heard and...I just let my infj out, didn't I? I just have this need to tell you it's going to be okay. Thank you again.
Hi Ela. I think you said it all, now didn't you. ;) I appreciate that very much and thank you for watching and your wonderful and very caring comment. I hear you. - Marty
I feel the best way to explain that wombo combo of numbers 1-3, is that it's not an inability to settle but an inability to be satisfied.
-INFJ male
100% "an inability to be satisfied." Yes. TYWC - Marty
One of my best musician friends told me: "There is no-room in this World for nice people" ... People are programmed and conditioned to shun good people. Unconsciously and critically.
Yeah, its sold as sense, its mind twisting, It is merkin style cap it Ali's m message overrunning the world. I remember reading a postcard for sale as a kid. It had a clever but mean saying, quite unlike the folk sayings/ proverbs I'd heard till then..tho sometimes cynical they were always sensible ( stictch in time saves nine, actions speak louder than words.. Treat others in the way you'd like to be treated...(known as the golden rule). TV hadn't reached PNG & that was the first time I'd come across something so mean-spirited being was sold as clever. By accident or design we've been convinced cheating is what ppl do, but a society where you can't trust anyone would fall apart- it isn't natural or a successful strategy.. . Big fish dont necessarily eat little fish & we are not fish..or wolves & sheep. The cheat in nature gets the girl for one season, but then she figures she can't trust him & finds someone better. Scuse rant ;)
To my knowledge and I truly believe it to be true, I have never been cheated on and I think I know why. I am sorry you have and I think it is horrible. Always remember that it is a problem with other person and never you but amazing how that does not offer any smiles. TYWC - Marty
sad but true
I feel this is so true. I'm an INFJ who is dedicated to giving my all for my bosses, clients, friends, and family, and 99% of the time it has resulted in great pain and destruction in my life. I've felt that many of the people who have been closest to me have gone out of their way to exploit and damage my life and career because I'm "too nice."
Needless to say I'm very distrusting of any new people who come into my life, and of course some people's responses are to criticize me for that distrust. They have no idea, nor do they care, why I'm so distrustful, so it's a waste of time trying to explain it.
I've found that keeping most people at an arm's distance can feel lonely at times, but it beats feeling devastated and losing nearly everything that's important to me because someone close to me has exploited me. I've been down that road too many times to count.
@@KristinBerkery its that fool me once, shame on you, fool me 2ce shame on me. You have to get wary . you dont have to become n a-hat
I definitely have gotten sick of being told I'm weird (at 32-yrs-old). I don't get it. Also, I identify with wondering what the heck I'm supposed to do in this world and how. I'm in college but I don't know how to function in this world made for other types.
Hi MBQ. Oh wow. Okay I am going to do it. Shit. There are others here on this channel who have been telling me to talk about this and like hitting me on the head with a bat. I will do it. I am sorry and I know exactly what is wrong. I am 49 and have been self employed my whole life. I never went to college. I was in entrepreneur magazine when I was 24. I have lost it all many times and made so many bad choices it is not even funny because of this MBTI type: INFJ
Holding down a job is almost impossible too. It is such a nightmare!
I am sorry MBQ as I know EXACTLY what you feel and the lost emotion(s) of how to accomplish your dreams. Where to begin. What to learn. What to study. Where to go. What to believe in. Who to believe in. What message is right. What direction is right. I am 32 and almost 35 and close 40. I am scared. Time is moving so fast. The world is changing so fast around me. I am not about money. I just want to accomplish something great. To be great. To be proud. Have others be proud of me. To make me proud. My parents proud. My friends and lover proud. To look into the mirror and to be able to truly believe that all my dreams and all the thoughts that I have ever had inside my head, while alone, that I succeeded and made me proud and happy.... of ME!
Am I close?
Thank You for Watching and the Comment (TYWC) - Marty
@@marty_glenn, that's really close! I've messed up before, a few times at least... The making others proud and myself too for sure. I was studying engineering and did get an AAS in it, but going for my BS has been a nightmare! I switched to Computer Science and am switching schools. So worried that I won't be able to make it. Not from lack of intellect, as I am above average.
@@phattiemelt MBQ. Where are you located? And why computer science? Just asking. I code and that is why I ask and I set my youngest son in college with CS as well... - M
I would love to answer but I would prefer to provide more details in a private way. Do you have an email address, discord .... something with direct messaging?
Midnight_Bat_Queen me@martyglenn.com 😉
Does anybody ever feel like they can almost pass off calm/good feelings to others? Like focusing and passing off energy because I feel like they need it? Does that make sense? Especially easier if I'm hugging them or something.
But also with the energy thing, does it feel like you can almost feel negative energy? E.g. When people are gossiping and saying mean things, even in another room. I feel so on edge and anxious, paranoid even.
Yes. doing auto the second the person needs it. yes TYWC - Marty
I've had that feeling lately more than ever... that I'm giving them positive energy when they need it. I honestly avoid people and try to focus on me and my own needs now.
You sound like you might benefit from reading about Qi-Gong, Reiki, Energy Work and such.
As a Shiatsu Therapist at a cancer treatment center for nearly ten years, this was my only job.
..yes...and...no 'almost' about it. This is not a 'super power'...anyone with a scrap of Consciousness can feel & do these things
Infj female here and this resonates on another level. I just found your videos and it feels so validating to know that I'm not the only one that thinks this way. Thank you for insight and videos.
You are welcome and always doing my best. TYWC - Marty
Hey man, I'm a new youtuber and an infj-t as well, thanks for ya bravery with steppin in front of a camera n makin vids, hell yea bro 👍👍👍👍👍🥓🧀
Hey Josh. Thanks and ya, not easy and the time it takes. Shit! Doing my best. Best to you as well with your goals. Thank You for Watching and the Comment (TYWC) - Marty
"You forget who you are and it feels like you are living for other people all the time." Never have truer words been spoken. Thanks for these videos. They are helping me to put a lot of things into perspective.
Great. I am very happy they worthy of your time. TYWC - Marty
the interview for the job I have now quickly turned into me listening to all of her problems. She came in the interview late and looked really upset and I guess something about me told her that she needed to lay it all down on me. Took forever and I like to listen to people sometimes but damn sometimes I just want to have a conversation without it all being about the other person.
Wow. Rogue. And your interviewing for the job? Ya that will not work out in your benefit. Been there. Done that. I hope you get a different result. TYWC - Marty
Recently, I have noticed my listening skills are terrible compared to how they were before. I was starting to think I needed to work on it again. Then I realized/remembered why I don't listen as well .........to protect myself, my time, and energy.
that..is..one of our super powers...lol..they see us as their Confessors....aint we lucky ;) .....i once got a job because potential boss was searching for her lighter..i had one so i took it out & handed it to her...hired on the spot. Baffling, but..there it is.
I feel so seen and heard 😭 it’s like you are a fly on the wall observing my deepest secrets and shortcomings. Some of these things I didn’t even know were associated with the INFJ type, I thought they were my personal quirks.
This is exactly why MBTI and inner self work is so important. Well said and well done. TYWC - Marty
Marty, I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for the wonderful work you do!💕 You just described me to the core. I am a female in her late 40’s, INFJ-T. I knew since I was probably 4 years old that I had to learn to be on my own. It can be tired at times to have people looking at you/us as if we are from another planet👽
Hi Claudett. You are welcome and thank you for the nice words. Yep. Tough to say the least but in the end it is the 99% that keeps us going; right? Too bad the 1% is so heavy and so hard to explain to others. TYWC - Marty
Love your videos and definitely feeling what you are saying. It is especially hard if you have had childhood trauma as we INFJ's carry that shit around like an unwelcome badge of honor. I didn't understand that the "-T" was until i googled it. It is possible to go to a "-A" but it can take years and if you get under a lot of stress, you can revert back. I honestly also look at people and feel their energy and already know if I can trust them or not to the point where I can predict what they will do before they do it. Being an INFJ can be fucked because most people don't get it and we also have a hard time understanding ourselves at times because of all the shit we unwillingly take on.
HI Ferg... Well said. Take the marker... ;) TYWC - Marty
@@marty_glenn Sweet! Okay everyone, class is now in session and I have an announcement to make. Formal education is useless unless you want to be a mindless drone. It took me 8 1/2 years and two degrees later to figure that out and I am doing my third now b/c certain community organizations think it's a good idea for me to be a slave in society. There isn't anything you can't learn from going to a library and sitting down to do yourself. Don't waste tens of thousands of $$ that you will be working off later in a system of slavery. The piece of paper you get is just that. Toilet paper!
I am glad that I have found you because even if I have read 100 articles about INFJ's, none of them made me understand myself better than you did. So thank you for that! #17
You are welcome and I think the reason is that I offer my life and experience. I call a spade a spade and I bring honesty and transparency. I do not have any agenda. TYWC - Marty
This is SO accurate. This hit me so hard I cried. Being an INFJ is a lonely life, even if you're surrounded by other people. I try to fix people and come off as pushy, and no one will understand my thoughts and feelings as well as I can understand theirs so no relationship is ever equal. I'm also very entrepreneurial for the same reasons.
Yes. These personal items are all connected to the disasters of the life yet who would want to change it? TYWC - Marty
For me the worst thing is the negative self view. I think I come at the world from a place that believes that I, myself, is flawed and needs to be fixed. Even when I'm doing and feeling great, there is a nagging feeling that I could be doing better or it wasn't good enough (perfect) etc etc etc.... I'm writing as I watch... My only friend is my wife. I have some acquaintances, but that's it. I feel that weird hurt wanting to be gregarious, being the most cheerful and helpful person around, yet wanting to be completely invisible. Great video. I'll keep watching.
You are correct. I think the best part is coming to the day when you realize what is wrong and that there is an answer to it all. That there IS nothing wrong. That is one of the best feelings I remember over the last few months and year. It really helped me stay away from some very, very dark thoughts. You are lucky to have your best friend; wife. That is a winning lottery ticket my friend.
Marty Glenn Love it!
Jordan Davis Hi Jordan, I’ve seen you at Joyous Prairies and CS Joseph, I believe.
Jordan Davis
Well said. Good you have your wife. My husband passed 6 years ago, so I am back into no man's land.
....we are flawed, we do need fixing..but no one can do it for us, we gotta do it ourselves..and, before we can, we gotta Want to. We get wrinkles just like anybody else...we gotta iron em out..every day. Or, not.
So, If you Do...
It Begins..with a Deep Breath..and a step in that direction...Refuse to let the fear paralize you..keep going..talk to yourself..Coach yourself, every step of the way. "Y0u Can Do It"
Love love love your authenticity. I’ve done a ton of personal work and feel like I’m finally coming to terms with my weirdness. This was incredibly refreshing and raw. Thank you for letting us into your world. I love everything you talked about because I struggle with the same kind of thing. Subscribed!
Hi Renata. You are welcome. I really appreciate your words; very much. It is not easy yet with each video and comments like yours there is a lot of healing that is done on both sides of the computer screen. Thank you for subscribing too! ;)
I am at a point I’ve forgotten who I am. To the point I’ve closed off and stopped dreaming. Stopped pushing forward. I even recently went to jail something so alien to me. I stopped caring. Then there is that other side of me that punishes myself for anything I did in that self destructive mode. I feel my behavior is tied to me tired of trying to fix everything and everyone.
Hey Carlos. You are a step ahead of where I have been in my life and it is tough place. Work on that...
No fun in that place. I know you know. TYWC - Marty
Ahhan infj not caring in not natural my dude
Stringer Chick I think he means that he’s cared too much at one point. Eventually he decided to become numb as a reaction to all the caring.
HL nailed it
I wish my IQ was 130 instead of 170. This way, i would be more relatable to most people.
I'm a INFJ-T and i am highly misunderstood by almost everyone I've met. Including girlfriends, family, friends, and co-workers.
It makes me feel like a Alien.
HaHa 170. That is funny. Well at 170 you never leave the house and if you get bored can you do me a favor and look at my video on what happens after we die and give me some clarity to it because I have problems with parts of the theory here:
" If matter cannot be created nor destroyed outside of a black hole, then when you have the last two black holes circling each other before they combine into one then how does the last known object exist at all in the first place? " - Marty
@@marty_glenn I believe all existence rests in that which created it and there is never no thing but occelating energy which can slow down and reform into another solid object. Black holes could be nothing more than energy converters taking mass dissolving it into its purest form and than reinjecting it into space at extremely high vibrational rates which will eventually slow and gather into another solid form just like the light that can convert from a particle to a beam at will which suggests light has consiousness and probably memory like water. There isn't life in the universe but the universe is the life- there will never be nothing. Just my opinion and its off the cuff so I'm sure its flawed but I believe things that seem to leave existence just break down, refine and regroup. No death.
Same 💯🙏👁😥
If your IQ was 170, you would be able sort out many people's thinking mechanism at once, calculate many alternatives of what should you say next that makes them understand you and your intelligence, only pushing their capacity enough. You only will need recovery time to process the details. I dont think that measurement is correct unless you are a child or very young.
@@h.cavidarabac3852
I've found out through Quora Digest that most of what "Most People" know about Higher Intelligence and High IQ is absolutely false narratives. And a warped perception about what real intelligence really is. Seriously. I can easily show you with a verifiable IQ test where that narrator explains and breakdown what HIGHER INTELLIGENCE IS.
OMG!!!! THIS IS SO ME. Between you and Frank James, only now when I just turned 66 have I begun to understand myself because Gd knows I have suffered my whole life and thought it was just because I was crazy. The answer I always got all my life - it's all in your head. No matter what the problem was always in my head or I was just looking for attention. Not true. I hated attention like that. I was always uncomfortable being around people. I can't tell you how much this has damaged me. I'm trying to get healthy all the way around so I began a few months ago on the keto/carnivore diet. I lost lots of weight, I don't want to sleep all the time, I have lots of energy, I'm off 2 different antidepressants that I've been on for 32 years, off my reflux medicine of 20 years, no longer have Rosecea, and no longer need my cpap machine. And strangely enough I'm not getting that under the skin bruising that many elderly get when the skin is so thin.It was after starting this that I discovered Frank James and now you. I'm not nuts. I'm super sensitive and have been accused of being like a witch bc I saw things that were going to happen bc of bad decisions on others' parts - and when they did - I was to blame. You even seem to struggle at times for words like I do even though I have a similar IQ. I told my therapist. I feel but it it difficult to put into words. I guess that doesn't help the situation that I think very strongly in pictures. Anyway, you have a new sub. Thank you for this video.
Thank you and you are welcome. TYWC - Marty
As an INFJ, I see a spiritual gift as a blessing not a curse. The sooner I discovered who I was and what I possessed, it became a blessing .
Hi Moor. A common thread among INFJ's is accepting and then launching a new life from there. TYWC - Marty
Marty Glenn true, in me there’s always that burning desires to tell the truth and expose lies, it landed me in some trouble though
INFJ here. I felt every second of this video. Thanks for doing this. 🙂
You are welcome. Thank you. TYWC - Marty
Holy shit!!! When you explained your tattoo, I felt understood for the first time in my life. I have never heard someone articulate what being an INFJ is like, especially in such a genuine and authentic way. When you said, "Why are you so weird... Where do I fit in?" I almost cried. Also, I'm a chick. I get you.
I hope you are a chick with a name like Melissa but I do appreciate the way you said. We are on the same tattoo Melissa. ;) TYWC - Marty
I feel different like there’s so much potential to me but all the options of where my life can take me overwhelm me because I have to give up something else to follow a certain path. There’s a lot of potential within the mind of an INFJ, it’s indescribable to people who aren’t like us
You might want to sit down and make sure you have a smile on your face...
You said: I feel different like there’s so much potential to me but all the options of where my life can take me overwhelm me because I have to give up something else to follow a certain path
Me: When you want something you will always have to give something up. What you have to give up is called the opportunity cost. What that means is that to gain one thing you must give up another thing. Normally what is given up has less value then the item first chosen.
Want to know what your fucking problem is? ( based on this comment and taken at face value with judgement) You do not want it bad enough because it reads like you want your cake and eat it too. Whats wrong with you.. For fuck sake! Sacrifice is what it means to reach your goals. That is why so few people accomplish their goals. Do not be one of them. Make a choice and pick what you want and go after it. What the fuck. Serious. You want something... go fucking get it. It is called: A Burning Desire
TYWC - Marty
Bless you for your honesty and authenticity. Being INFJ A I could identify with so much of what you said but not all. And I sure appreciated getting to know what it is like being an INFJ T.
Amazing video--not only talking about what INFJs suffer, but manifesting the symptoms while doing so. Well done, and thanks for being candid.
Thank you. Appreciate the comment. TYWC - Marty
Hey Marty 😊 You seem like a kind and generous human being, I wish you could see how wonderful you are and understand that what you consider as a curse are actually beautiful qualities about yourself ☺️ Did you ever consider to consult a professional help, it was in fact pretty helpful for myself in difficult times 🙂 i wish you the best, thank you for the content of your videos, they are very instructive! (Sorry for my bad english ahahahah)
Hi F.... You are golden. Thank you and yes and if you watch my earlier videos you can see the work I have done but it makes it from your view since you are only seeing this video yet the work I have done is real and in depth.
Thank you for the kind words and the vote of confidence. I appreciate it. Always doing my best.
Thank you Watching and the Comment (TYWC) - Marty
As an infj I’ve seen the correlation of infj and the heyoka empath. Like to see us as blessings rather than a curse! Guess it’s all a matter of perceptions.
Hi Andrea. Blessings vs Curse? Hmmm. I’ll use that line... wait for it. TYWC - Marty
Marty Glenn meant infj a blessing rather than a curse! Like a super power so to speak
Ohhh. Got it. My bad. - M
I see it as both
wow so dead on . i am in shock that you feel the same way i do. i have never talked with anyone who would even come close to understanding this in the way you have explained it . thank you i dont feel so alone anymore .
Very good. Thank you. TYWC - Marty
INFJ-T female here. I felt every single one of these. The most raw and down right honest explanation I have ever seen. Thank you!
You are welcome and thank you. I get a lot of hate here and its nice to make a difference. ;) TYWC - Marty
Man im jst turning 19 and damn i feel this so so deep 😭
Hi Moses. It is odd how one can watch a RUclips video about these subjects and it hits home and feels so close. I have been there and experienced that as well. TYWC - Marty
Well being an infj never feels easy at the end of the day, and i think without saying much bcs we’re infjs we jst get it, and we get how frustrating we can feel with everything in general.
@@mosesunic9535 Yes. I think that is a basic feeling for sure. Well said. TYWC - Marty
I'm telling ya bro weed and prozac.
HaHa. That makes me laugh. ;)) - M
INFJ-T male here.
I relate to 100% of what you said as well as some of the stuff you didnt say whenever you were thinking to yourself "why even bother..." or "Im not even gna say more" because you thought most viewers wouldnt understand your point anyway.
I got you.
Thanks for this video.
You are welcome and most of the time I do hold back. Always doing my best. TYWC - Marty
I think it’s because we give so much energy to our relationships that it’s not possible to consistently maintain that level of energy output. That’s why inconsistently I can be life of the party but I sure will be in hermit mode recovery when I choose to. Same, phone calls are draining but I can text perfect paragraphs.
Wow. This is incredibly enlightening. I’m so grateful you made these videos. Thank you.
How do you love someone and not solve their problems? I feel like if I don’t fix your problems I can’t truly love you because then I just don’t care about you at all.
Very funny question and you already know the answer but let me help you: You cannot! Welcome to the party Courtney! Welcome to the party. TYWC - Marty
INFJ-T here and I know what you are talking about, but it's not healthy keeping doing it everytime. I'm 37 now and it took a while to realize that we can't come fixing everything at once, we need to let the people take their time to learn something through their suffering and let them have their own space.
Bingo!, somebody..give this man an Ovation!!! Exactly.....why can so few understand this?
Awe Marty, I sincerely feel like giving you a big hug. So many familiar things you describe. It's a review of deep trenches conflict, I had in my life. I still disappear from events, usually have my car parked close by or hang out in the rest room. Or see this little things others would not notice at all or way later. People called me every crazy name by the book, through my life I got hated and admired for the very same thing. I learned to forgive them, my friends, family and partners who failed to recognise this as a quality and not as some entertainment act. You grow tired of being seen as a freak and spend most of your life veiling your tracks. Dumb it down and experience all over, that you loose friends for speaking truth. They don't have what it takes, to see the solution, as we do in zero no time. Overthinking the overthinking and the same with feeling. I loved the quote : hybrid. Not meant for mass production. To weird to live and to rare to die.
Only so, that I developed a technique to force quite hamster wheel processes. I have reframed many things in my life experience. The way I talk to myself, and the way others make me feel. Emotion control and mind control. I studied a million things. Quantum physic, psychology, chemical inbalances, cultural and conditional effects on human behaviour. I emotions and magnetic fields. Tesla would love to hang out with me, while humans around me look like me as I have lost the plot. If I don't know something you bet I know it tomorrow. I outgrow my old self as regular and people who never look beyond their comfordzoon sadden me. I have friends they carry the same. Problem through their whole life, like a cuddly toy. Nurturing it containing it, cradle it. I guess, I have managed to make peace with myself and the loneliness coming with the being a hybrid. I try no more to find my place on an extrovert world. This shallow concept of society is running itself against the wall. I believe that's why we came for. That's our time and that's the purpose for our being. The answer is revealing itself as we speak. People will need us for our quality to rebuild a world worth living in. So dear friend, be proud of yourself. Your videos are great and help so many. The real power of us lays in the heart frequency not in the mind we get all to often lost in. Love yourself - I do ( in a Galactic sense identifying one of my tribe). As you might guess, I am a visionary type. My intuition never failed me and I gained the knowledge to back it up. We are into something so amazing, you have no idea. The time of turmoil and revelation is necessary. It all will make sense. I bless your elastic heart and mind of yours and all other INFJ’s.
Great comment and wonderful words. Thank you - M
Hello Marty! Just saw your channel via RUclips “Recommend” tonight and watched this video and the “INFJ curse”. 👍🏻 You are probably one of two INFJ RUclipsrs I know, amongst the many others, that I can actually show other people in my life of what I go through as an INFJ. Thank you for this!! 🙏🏻 I have subscribed, and plan to catch up on your other INFJ videos on your channel. Cheers, Jeff.
Hi Jeff. Really? Recommend? That’s very cool. Thank you for letting me know that. Also, what a great compliment and very honest. I appreciate that and am so glad you told me as I worry sometimes about my videos. Glad to know you found it so helpful. TYWC - Marty
Who is the other one?
karthik harilal David Badurina
This channel is dope!! Thank you for sharing this with us 🤙🏾
The last few relationships I’ve had have been with the “bad boy” type. They were messed up, wild and care free yet I fell hard and fast and the chemistry was intense but I always felt torn knowing deep down I can’t change him, I can’t fix him, I know this is not good for me, but I pushed on and tried so hard. Then, self-sabotaged and it ended. Then I spend months to years reflecting every moment, reliving different versions of every moment and, dissecting every moment, asking the questions-what did I do wrong, what did he do wrong, why did I try, was he the one that got away, was he really into me or was it all in my head. Ugh all this is why I struggle to make effort to go out and meet people. But when I’m drunk, I morph into THEE most confident and care free person. I don't even know who she is lol
lol That is funny. All I can say is do not meet me at a bar. It is a scary thing... Because i am way to confident and way to looking through people and who knows... have I done it to a fellow INFJ? Hmmmm I wonder. Well if my channel makes anybody feel intimidated then maybe i have. Wow that is an interesting thought.
Try this: You cannot fix anybody.
Learn that now and I think you will be so happy and I promise you that i am right. You cannot! Ever! ;) TYWC - Marty
I felt every hesitation, breath, and pain in your voice. I usually get exhausted when hearing and predicting others but you... it felt so familiar. It was like the heaviest pressure in my chest and yet felt so light and familiar. At least you have some pride and can say these things with confidence. I dont have an oz of pride in me and can only get pride when my loving , very understanding husband fills me with confidence.
Hi Green. What a nice compliment yet ending with a sadness in me. Please go watch my video on ‘ true empathy ‘ and please have your husband watch my video on apologizing and healing from malignant narcissism. I might be right or wrong, but my comment comes from a good place. Okay. Oh and I am going to do a video today that I think will really resonate with you. TYWC - Marty
I know Marty, you are a magnificent Infj, I think the loneliness really get to us. Besides the loneliness, we have traits that the world need, you are wonderfully made.
I wish I could have everyone I know watch this video. I’m a 58yo INFJ-T male and have always felt like I’m in this world but not of this world. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to “fit in” or “ be like someone else” or “ BE NORMAL” and I’ve always felt so alone. I’m married to an ESTJ-A male who frankly just doesn’t seem to understand me. Thanks for your great work here....you’ve got a new subscriber.
What do you mean? Ask them to watch it. You can say there is this nut case of a guy... lol TYWC - Marty
U will never say "what's wrong with me if you have a spiritual grounding...u will end up saying...." Dear lord .... How blessed am I .... How thrilling every moment of life is..." An unshakable and untouchable sense of gratitude for being an infj.
Very good. Many are working toward this path... TYWC - Marty
Marty , what's up my brotha? I can't tell you how amazing it is to hear another man experience the same things I've struggled with. It's like maybe I'm not crazy after all. Thank you ,thank you!
Nope. You are not. Thank you for the kind words. TYWC - Marty
I can identify. You're not alone. For me, it's not a curse.. it's a blessing. You have the capability to heal those around you. I'm an INFJ as well and was told most of my life, "You're weird." I've learned to laugh at it...
Hi Jill. You are the first to say this on my channel: "You have the capability to heal those around you." I am not sure how to respond to be honest. TYWC - Marty
Not only am I grateful for this content, but I'm also so thankful to see you experiencing this as an outlet for your voice. When you said "we're writers, not talkers", I actually got chills. This was the first time in my life where I felt understood at this level. There are so many layers to that statement that it can be paralyzing to try and explain. Thank you, sincerely.
You are welcome and thank you for the kind words. I love the comment section because of the writing and when you feel cozy doing it and emotionally sound it really does make more sense. You know? ;) TYWC - Marty
Thank you so so much Marty. You are helping so many people. You are seriously incredible. I resonate with your genuineness so much. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you or any of us INFJs. We may be "strange" to others, but we are beautiful in our own way. There's nothing to be ashamed of. It makes me want to cry that you feel that way. I think you are wonderful- maybe the most wonderful person on the Internet that I've seen due to your authenticity and the way your mind works. I wish you could see your value.
Thank you and I appreciate that. It is hard. I cannot lie. It is what it is but thank you. Really. Very much. - M
They can't reciprocate, the need is so huge, the favor is so huge. To meet that need speaks volumes of your character, I know this because I can relate.
Edit:
Thank you for saying "envy", my neighbors are so carefree, they have family and friends over all the time, they have parties, every window and door is open. (When they are done I find their garbage in my yard, someone throws things over the fence, lemons from drinks, napkins, you name it).
But, I wish I could be more like that, I mean the friends thing. Instead of being in my house, healing.
I'm listening to you and the tears are pouring down my cheeks. You are not eff'd up, just more aware.
I am an INFJ T as well, who wants to be Turbulent.
Oh, Marty, I do believe it, I do the same damn thing. I spot details that no one would ever believe they even showed.
Jump to help before anyone has time to ask. All the time, all the damn freaking time.
Sorry, my edit was so long.
Hi PR... Yep I get it. I have watched so many of those parties it is crazy. Thank you and I am always looking forward to a new day of discovery. TYWC - Marty
Solitude, because it’s a known quantity.
It hurts less to be alone than to hang out with people who don’t value or simply can’t return the same level of effort.
Btw, I loved what you said about “thoughts and feelings without words”. You totally nailed it!
Not everything needs to be heard or read. Sometimes just a .... right? TYWC - Marty
The way you talk in your vidoes and whatever you talk in these INFJ videos just replicates everything I am. Tq from a fellow INFJ-T male🙋♂️
My pleasure. Always doing my best. TYWC - Marty
I'm completely in shock, yet totally and completely "validated" and more comfortable in my own skin, from watching and listening (while I'm cleaning) to your videos.... The way you speak makes me think of how I'd likely articulate my thoughts if I were a man...I almost always have a hard time articulating my thoughts (fast enough/correctly) ..... I truly hope you take no offense, being that none is intentional, but your speech patterns sound SO much like my own.... I just happened upon your videos, around 30-40 minutes ago, and I've already watched 3..... it's so refreshing and brings about such a feeling of empathy, to hear another INFJ's view, knowing that they endure the same internal battles as I do...and have been, since as far back in my life as I can recall (I never knew what my "malfunction" was....) ... It's nice to know that you're not alone, but you feel so terrible for someone else having to go through the same emotionally, mentally, and physically draining (forgive the choice of words, please....) bullshit, daily.... I have studied my outcome with the MBTI test; taken and retaken it, and although the results were always the same, I still wasn't completely satisfied with, or fully trusting of, the results..... I started watching RUclips's "informative" videos about INFJ's, and while lots of things resonated, others didn't.... then your "100%" video popped into the lineup; the one which tells you with 100% accuracy, whether you're truly an INFJ..... I am both disheartened and encouraged by the fact that I happen to be an INFJ.... The reason I have any positivity at all, knowing this, is because of the help I have been able to provide to some of the people in my past.... I felt wonderful for them, because I was able to point them in the correct direction to be able to look at the situation completely, use some given (and some I'd led them to discover) advice to fix things, and recapture their happiness....I was great with being the "middleman" in such cases....... But on the other hand, I've NEVER found anyone capable of reciprocity, even at a level of 10%, even though I really never asked for anything, except maybe for them to lend an ear when I was in need of one...(and I never let them know it upset me, when they didn't...) I also felt unable to help the people who literally begged for help, but refused every bit offered....knowing I could see them happy again, if only they'd hear 2% of what I spoke.... but, what can you do? Omg, I never intended to type so much to you, but you've shown me I'm not fucked up either..lol..... I appreciate you for that, more than I can ever put into words. Oh, and please never do yourself the injustice of downplaying your appearance, tattoos and all.... your personality overrides ALL that, in spades... You do have BEAUTIFUL grey hair, by the way. And a hypnotic voice.... 🙂🌹
Very well said and I get it. It is interesting how the MBTI type can misrepresent itself as some dysfunction and not just who one person is and that there are others of the same cloth. Very happy to have helped and thank you for the kind words within your comment. Very nice. TYWC - Marty
I relate so much to your way of explaining, before you mentioned you were an infj I really felt it resonating with my way of thinking/talking/explaining. Definitely the parts where you just make a beautiful explanation and then go 'man, yeah.', like realizing what you just said is so much more true than before you said it and it's like a whole new idea opens up in your mind kind of thing.
I relate to and understand all the points in this video, definitely perfectionism and writer, not a talker combines. People telling me 'just call them!' and there I am just refusing, telling them I'll write an email that I end up writing, rereading multiple times and after I sent it rereading it again as if to see it from the receiver's perspective almost. Watching this made me feel so much more understood and it's also very relieving being to think along with your thought process about all these topics, so thank you for this video!
Yep. This is how it goes:
"I do not want to call!"
Why?
"I have no clue!"
What kind of sense does that make?
"I have no clue!"
What is wrong with you?
"I have no clue! but..what the fuck is wrong with you!?!"
LOL TYWC - Marty
When u say..."this is harder than I thought...". I know exactly what u r feeling.. an intense burning desire to explain an avenue once n for all so completely that it sets the listener free......
:) TYWC - Marty
Hey, man. I am an INFJ-A too, recently found that out. Now I know why I am the way I am. To know that there are ppl out there who think the way I do, makes me happy that I am not alone. After watching few of ur videos I can now tell that there is nothing wrong with me as ppl around me kept telling me. Thanks a lot, it really helped me a big time.
You are welcome. That makes me really happy to hear. TYWC - Marty
Hello Marty! I just wanted to say thank you for what you are doing with these videos. Your video on the viewer comment came across this morning and it immediately caught my eye. Everything you touched basis on today, with the exception of your ex of course, resonated with me. This may sound odd, but it brings peace to mind knowing I am not alone with these emotions, thoughts, etc. I will explain...About three years ago, I experienced something that caused my specials gifts to resurface and face them head on. I was not expecting and definitely was not prepared for it. You see, when I was a child (8 and 11 yrs old) I experienced some trauma that caused me to suppress my gifts for almost 33 yrs. For those 30+ yrs, I had always struggled with understanding why I didn’t have that many friends as well. To this day, I only have 2 good friends. I can be a little too direct for some people. I just don’t sugar coat things. I am an honest and loyal friend who does not like liars. And I can spot them a mile away. Since my recent experience, I have slowly started to accept me for who I am and know that not everybody gets me and that is okay. I have had to start from the very beginning with connecting with my gifts and I have been ting baby steps because I definitely remember they can be overwhelming. I have to say though, that a lot of my friends and family do come to me for advice and I make it clear to them my words may be a little harsh, but the words come from a place in my heart that loves them and I don’t want tot see them get hurt. Now with that being said, if they don’t take my advice or follow my guidance that is in them and depending on the situation...Next time I will just be an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on because I will not be wasting my energy on something that you will not take and follow through on. My apologies for making his so long, but I wanted to provide you an example of my slow, yet strong progress in understanding myself as an INFJ.
Again, thank you Marty for your videos. I am looking forward to watching them,
I get it and not too long. I thing many share the same path and I think your comment says that well. Thank you for the kind words. See you in the comments. ;) TYWC - Marty
Man, I just recently started watching your videos and you really hit the nail on the head every time. During quarantine, I started babysitting for my neighbors who were thankfully still able to work. I watched their kids for 3 months, Mon-Fri, 7am-6pm. I was running on no sleep (due to stress) & zero time to recharge. They have a dog, who I’m very allergic to, which lowered my immune system. The want to help others & inability to say no is so real. Thanks for sharing, no matter how tough it might’ve been for you, & keep doing what you’re doing.
I am trying and will keep on.Thank you for the kind words. TYWC - Marty
INFJ-T my self and watching this video gave me so much anxiety. But I admire your courage and drive. You are truly an inspiration to me. There is not a word I could use to express my gratitude for you.
You did great with this comment. Thank you. TYWC - Marty
This made me want to cry, couldn't though... Shutting our minds down just to sleep only to be the lightest sleeper in the world.
That is funny and a simple way of putting it for sure. TYWC - Marty
Marty ..your exasperation is sooo endearing.. it's like u wanna give out an ocean and u r giving out a bucket of water.
Very true. Always doing my best. TYWC - Marty
I understand 110% brother. It was like looking into a mirror listening to what you had to say. I'm glad there is someone out there who understands what we are knowing that we aren't alone anymore. Could not have said it better myself thank you for all your time and effort to make this powerful message to us, the INFJ's in this world.
You are welcome and thank you for the positive words; supportive words are really appreciated. TYWC - Marty
You nailed it with the "can't reciprocate" - it sounds terrible, but there are so few people who can add material value.
Facts! 🤦🏽♂️🤬 So disappointing at times.
You have to call a spade a spade to get to peace and salvation. Remove the fog. TYWC - Marty
Your words reached me to the core. I can relate so much. People who want to be an INFJ doesn't really understand how hard it is.
Correct. They do not. Only the INFJ does; so true. TYWC - Marty
INFJ female. I can see it would be slightly more difficult to be male, but this post is exactly me. All my life I have felt I didn’t fit in and tried to get along, but eventually melted down. Now with some history and study I understand myself better and have more awareness, deciding what I will or will not do or accept. Making it ok to be me. Very helpful all around, from the heart, keep them coming.
You are welcome and are you saying I am a sissy girl. LOL Teasing. Thank you for the nice comment. TYWC - Marty
Marty, don't worry about being different. We're all weird, doesn't matter. Think of nature with all it's varieties and
how we are all part of the whole. It's amazing, we all make up a functioning reality and those who deny our differences
and want everyone to be alike are close minded, insecure and not realistic. Function within your own capabilities and
smile at the guy in the mirror. If you feel low, stand in a stream and let your troubles flow out.
I like the stream idea. I will try that. Thanks. TYWC - Marty
The pain I felt when you said in so many words I have 20 other things to do for myself and basically I don’t because I’m doing this other thing for someone else and I’m fixing their issues so efficiently and I don’t even get a solid real thank you. I literally cried instantly because that’s me! Like literally! No one understands how painful it is to be this selfless, how stressful it is, and people have the nerve to consider me heartless or cold when even in the moments I have to do something to protect myself like remove myself from a situation... in all reality I’m thinking about how unhealthy it is and how much better it is for us BOTH because if they keep up I will hurt them for real because they don’t get what they are doing to me. Best for me to walk away now more painful for them later. I’m STILL SELFLESS IN MY ACTION EVEN THEN! I can’t I just can’t 🤦🏾♀️😩
Well said and I get it. Obviously I get it. TYWC - Marty
INFJ-And I am true to form here. The acceptance of solitude protects me. I need time to fuel & stimulate my mind. I figured out I needed to work for myself. I realized I needed enough distance from others to protect myself from over-solving other's in my personal life. As a trauma therapist, its great. As a friend, I will lose my purpose. I have been able to speak to large groups since I was 5, and then I need a few days to reset, refuel, and rebound. You did a great job describing and I appreciate the mental camaraderie. We aren't weird. We are absorbing the patterns and spit out the algorithms of human behavior. We fit when I feel like fitting. It's like maneuvering through mental minefields in dating. I enjoy self acceptance in being INFJ.
Yes. I understand. I see it all too. TYWC - Marty
INFJ-T here.
You hit it head on right from the start. It is a curse.
I completely identify with everything you said.
It can be frustrating and heartbreaking as well.
Yes! A hamster wheel!!
My mind is always spinning, it won't stop. If there's a problem I can't stop thinking about it until I feel I've found a solution or have fixed the issue.
It's SO hard to get things out for others to understand.
Relationships.... Too many encounters with narcissists.
I'm perfectly happy staying close to the few friends that I have.
I've been told that I'm "too nice".
When you were talking about feeling that preasure, the need to decompress and cant and couldn't describe it... I can TOTALLY indentify! I feel as if I'm going to explode.
I cried listening to you. The whole thing with others thinking your weird, a freak, not normal, too emotional.
I'm not alone!! I have yet to meet a person who truly and I mean truly "gets me".
Glad you found it worthy and comforting. Kind words and thank you. TYWC - Marty
I agree with all your points so completely and so wholeheartedly, that i felt you looked into my soul! If i could count the number of times ive used the words......its all or nothing! The one thing i didnt see on the list was efficiency. The way i do things is based on others but it is also based on the most efficient and effective way of doing them. So im not sure if it ties with with inability to settle, as im always trying to constantly improve that efficiency. Its constantly playing in my head. Its also why i feel minimalism is very attractive to me. I have very few things, but the things i do have are of the highest quality. A random INFJ dudes 2 cents.
Efficiency is a give within all actions. Does that make sense? It is baked into it... TYWC - Marty
It does.....thank you Marty. Keep up the amazing work!☺
Good video, Marty.
As always, insightful, accurate - speaking right to the heart of the issue.
As I listen to your videos (only a recent discovery - you) and read the comments here - I am impressed with how willing you are to share the journey. Yours. And that feeds my soul - looking into the soul of another.
But there is in me also a certain sadness - a sense that I will have to...let it go...
The possible connection to another human being--- who has the same personality profile and who is also able to "put it out there" - with transparency.
In my book, that's admirable.
But back to my sadness.
I am 68 - so "old" now - (haven't we always been old?)
female (it is harder to be the male version of this type - I am now completely convinced.)
an INFJ-- A. (Not that I get all the differences between the A and T.).
I was "in pain" and confusion a lot of my young life but at age 30 - in the middle of what was fast becoming a broken marriage and while an MP (an investigator) in the Army -
I laid my failed life at the feet of Christ and asked for help. Amazingly there was someone who answered. And from that day forth, I was on a very different track because passing from "death" to "life" is no small thing and cannot be accomplished by self study or self knowledge. If you'd been there, you would know what I mean.
But anyway, life changed. It wasn't automatic or anything like that - but life changed fundamentally. And I had a whole new set of things to sort out. And it's taken a life time. But I've never been lonely or dark from that time-- loneliness became aloneness - solitude became fellowship. And there was an inner joy and knowing. A gyroscope. A dialog. And I've walked with that consciousness from that day forth.
My problem with you here --
and my sadness -
is recognizing I cannot reach across the chasm that divides us - and convince you of what a difference it would make in your life -
of how you wouldn't have to settle for - "that's as far as I can get (forgiveness) on this problem (step father) in this life time". Another video.
You have already said where you stand on this. And I respect that choice.
So that leaves me with only one real option. As I've heard more of your story - unfolding in the various videos I have heretofore watched - I have great compassion - but also this sadness. (And by the way, I am not "religious" either and it's taken me a long time to sort that out too - religion versus relationship.)
About 8 years ago I started "waking" up and realizing how the world has really been working all along - controlled by a hierarchy of entities not human at the top. They have a plan and we are now in "the externlizatuon of the hierarchy" (see book by that title). I am now so much more aware of the darkness and it's intent.
I gather? you would believe we are on the verge of a very positive chapter in human history - a rise in consciousness and ascension - a pulling together of man.
I see it differently - I know we are on the verge of the darkest chapter and that most of humanity - will be seduced, deceived, and captured - with the end game being the merging man into / with the machine / the borg/ that entity, in fact, and ultimately, with the eradication of what was put into man - why he was created in the first place - to shadow forth the image - because that image - place - position - privilege - is hated by the PTB. And only a few will decline..to let it go. And only those will be saved out of the mess coming. Indeed we are seeing it come together so much more clearly now. There will be a hook - self ascension - light - a light that will really be other.
So it is so much bigger than finding our identity as an INFJ - it is finding our place in this drama. And standing on the right side. In Humility.
And we don't get a second chance.
So the sadness comes from this -
not being able to stay here -
or share a moment of angst in recognizing and working out what was put in us as this personality type.
Instead I must move on because there is no answer here - and I cannot reach across the darkness - to pull you out.
Indeed you would not even see that you need that. Nor I suppose would others here. A "saved" INFJ - how does that look.
Anyway.. I want to say it's been good. Nice to have stopped to sit awhile with you - in your abour. And I wish you well in your journey and in your self growth.
But if it's possible to say anything of meaning here now - may I say this -
you were created with purpose. It goes well beyond the identity you are working out and forging here.
May you find that destiny and not be deceived. You are valued. You are loved. Choose life.
I always look for the most profound to myself and also for others, and this is what I found:
“Anyway.. I want to say it's been good. Nice to have stopped to sit awhile with you - in your abour. And I wish you well in your journey and in yourself growth. But if it's possible to say anything of meaning here now - may I say this - you were created with purpose. It goes well beyond the identity you are working out and forging here. May you find that destiny and not be deceived. You are valued. You are loved. Choose life.“
There were other parts, of course. Like the time, effort and care within the whole comment.
The thing with me is that on RUclips it is hard to show reality and the inside without being called out for drama or ? I think sometimes, not always, what I say or do or how I act comes across in way that says something in a manner that is not exact. I have my ups and my downs and they can clearly be seen but I always value each and every comment no matter the direction.
Unfortunately for me, the acceptance of some paths will not be seen or embraced in this lifetime. That is a choice I made for me and that might be sad for some but let me say this: “ Words are never lost on me and thoughts and paths traveled by others with warmth and care is not ever something I ignore or frown upon.”
As always, thank you for the comment and words. - Marty
Marty Glenn
I told you - I would be sad - and I am.
Thanks though...
for your response
and
the time it always takes you
in each and every one of your comments shared with viewers -
to be real.
God speed.
Marty, I’m an INFJ female, mid 30’s, well along on my healing journey, I take my hat off to you, this is not a curse and you are not alone. Because I am healing and spend the majority of my time on my own I don’t feel that I’m f*d up or that there’s anything wrong with me, even if other types don’t understand us we understand each other and I can resonate with a lot of what you said and even the things you couldn’t find the words for. Oh yeah, the alone time is to recharge our introvert batteries as crowds drain us emotionally, that’s why we have to leave. Oh and if you’d like an extra friend 🙋🏼♀️ who can give you a more positive perspective on our gifts, I’m here. No, I won’t “fix” you, that’s your own job, but I can point you in the right direction. I gave up “fixing” people a while ago, it was too draining on me, so I just “teach people how to fish” so to speak, it’s so much better.
Thank you and yes you can by commenting more and giving more of these great comments and helpful words. Very well said and thank you very much. TYWC - Marty
NAILED IT! The moment I don't want to agree with you, you rethink and reword your point and it is like I am right back on that same track you are describing. When you got hung up on how to express what "inability to settle" means I was almost stressing because I knew in my mind how I feel and it seemed you were veering a different direction and then BANG! Right on! Lack of friends.. Everything. I struggle with the fact many people hear me but don't hear me how I want them to hear me. Most commonly, I was so thankful when I learned the term social introvert. Many people respond with, "You are SO social! Everyone loves you!" If I were social I would not think of calling someone to make plans and then break down all the scenarios of how it will not work so I decide not to make any plans. Overthinking everything! Thank you so much for these. If no one else feels the same, hearing this and relating makes me feel sane and heard after being unheard for so long.
I have days where all of a sudden I can't deal with the noise of life around me.
Me too. I get it. TYWC - Marty
Yesterday was the first time I had ever come across your channel. I wound up watching several, covering multiple aspects. One of your topics hit on one I have been dealing with for a LONG time and just became relevant again making me realize how present it still is. You talked about failures in relationships and friendships due to going in 100% and being disappointed because others do not. Growing up I used to help everyone I could since it seemed I had an ability to fix things others could not. The most common was strangers broke down on the road. I did it so often that eventually I began feeling as though I was being used by my friends and was only asked to come over when they needed something. At that time I never thought about how I have the choice to say no. When I am asked if I can help, I adjust my life to fit theirs and welcome the challenge.
Over the years I drew back from accepting these types of agreements to avoid putting myself in this kind of position. Because of this it appears as though I had solved that aspect. Last night I was reminded of how it is all still alive and well.
A week ago I was asked if I could help split and stack firewood on Sunday. I cleared the schedule, arranged plans so that I was able to provide ample time. Saturday came and, as a preventive measure, I messaged the person to see if we were still on for the next day. Part of this planning was to be sure I was well rested and in bed early so I am punctual. I had not heard anything... Woke up this morning to find a message sent at midnight asking to reschedule for Monday and the wave of rage, insult and disrespect that came over me was unbearable! The thoughts of how I removed all plans for my Saturday evening in order to assist them better while they were, most likely partying, was like a wall of flames washing over me.
Then I have to calm myself, collect myself and then rationalize. Because the truth is I don't know why things changed. I don't know why if there was an emergency. And I still have the option to say that I can not help Monday so that I do not continue fueling the anger for now being set up to stall out my Sunday in order to better help Monday. It is previous experience and disappointment that brings me here. And I have the control to not put myself in that position, as you had said.
Thank you again for your videos. It helps to find words and ways to explain things I can't seem to find words for. I appreciate hearing your thoughts as many of them aid me in the things I have struggled with as well. Take care
I am curious if you ever had anything like this... Growing up I was very sensative to the concept of not getting sleep. When I was very young, if I fell asleep at relatives houses and my father would have to carry me to the car or into the house I would become so angry because I was being disturbed. For my parents it was like carrying a Tasmanian devil in. If I began to wake, I would begin punching and kicking with a rage that was clearly unnecessary or warranted. There were many other things that if they were not a specific way, I found them unacceptable.
A challenge I am not faced with, having a son I am trying to raise and teach, is finding patience for others who do not do things a certain way, to a certain standard, or in a specific time frame. The beautiful thing is that where my son is clearly much younger it forces me to put myself in check. It makes me step back, recognize that it is inexperience not a lack of intelligence that makes others unable to do those things. He is teaching me better ways to cope just by existing and now I find I have more patience with coworkers who are inexperienced. I now make myself step back and allow them the time and space to figure things out on their own rather than feeling that irritation knowing I could have had it done already. I have always wanted to know if I needed therapy to find patience for others. Turns out I just needed a child 😂
Your child will teach you a lot and you will be a good a parent and probably too good. I have many videos about that in my playlists and under the one named personal. Check it out. Let me know. TYWC - Marty
Hi Marty, l am a 49 year old INFJ female. Thank you. For your honest no bs down to earth videos on INFJ'S. Yeh, l am weird. My Dad said something interesting the other day, you have been a pain in the butt since you were a baby. I tested my abstract thinking for intelligence l am above average 120 or more. I find myself having to dumb myself down sometimes just to be nice and get along with people. I am sure l think about things that most people don't think about or don't bother to. I started noticing this in High-school in the music l was listening to, compared to most everyone else. I guess understanding and acceptance is the way. Your videos are straightforward, honest and direct. Knowing myself and how differently l see the world helps. As a thinker/ feeler l have always felt like an outsider. Thank you, for your insight.
You are welcome and always doing my best. Even if I was hardly right at least my direct and honest approach would teach and explore the fundamental failure within our society today. Doing ones best with an honest and resepctful and trust worthy self is the best and only approach. Keep doing that and at the end of the day you will smile and be surrounded by a few lucky persons. TYWC - Marty
My pleasure and always doing my best. More videos coming. TYWC - Marty
INFJ female with IQ 137 here. I feel ya, man! That moment where you realized that they DO NOT EVEN thank you when we help.... I felt ya and wanted to give you a hug! So feel hugged!
;) Thank you. TYWC - Marty
Hey Marty, keep up the great work. So much of this video, I was giggling hysterically like a lunatic, because it was 100% resonating with me. The other one I watched yesterday, about “wish I could be another MB type” in a heartbeat, made me cry... only because, I felt like I’d finally found my (internet) spiritual home. Keep on keeping it real, man. ☮️
I think I have the solution. Will give it soon in a video. TYWC - Marty
I was drawn to games of imagination (Such as Dungeons & Dragons) and quickly fell in love with storytelling (Gamemastering or GM) that inspired the players I was GMing for. I have read the "Superpowers" of INFJ-T and have only recently come to realize that we CAN be our own GM in our lives. The mixture of fantasy tempering reality to fit our vision is the single most affirming thing I have learned thus far in my life. I hope this helps whomever should read it and may it find you well. Never forget, May the Schwartz be with you! 🙂
I know im late to this video but I only just discovered your channel. Thank you. Just thank you. I've felt other my whole life and I've never felt more understood than I do now. Of course, it comes with the hilarious irony of being told that my lack of self understanding is itself a crucial trait.
Much like you I can't handle working under people that I have difficulty viewing as my superiors, thus I leaned heavily into my art since I was a child. I am releasing my first commercial novel this year. I've always found writing to be the only way I can get others to see the complex and potent way my mind processes information. Its my best outlet for exploring my own mind and commenting on the minds of others. Its eerie, frankly, how similar the way you feel around others and about your own paradoxical drive is to my own.
For instance, your comment on the paradox of not settling but being overly committed. I have very close friends but only a few and they are aware that I dumb myself down for them. While I know I am committed to people in my life and am hopelessly inclined to help and save them my mind never stops screaming at me about how much more I could build or create if I just cut everyone else. Sometimes I feel like I'm just wearing whatever mask suits me best for the situation.
Thanks again for opening this world to me even if the answers are somewhat sparse by nature of what I, and many others here, are.
*cut everyone else out.
Correct. I think you get it and heard the message of the video. TYWC - Marty
Marty. Thank you so much for opening your heart to us all. ..baring your soul ...so publicly. It's so touching caring of you .
So much of what you spoke of, to some degree resonated in me. I have spent most of my life around people being physically there , but spiritually someone else. Anyone glancing at me will just see this air...of a sense. Of absence. Of detachment. The energies surfacin around me .' Its all that , the intensity of it all I can't be spiritually present. . Hence... my spirit flies to.....above..in heavens. Somewhere else
It has been my safety net. Savimg grace . I know ..odd but true. Once I go home I cleanse my energy field of everyone's energy. . I see all of these attributes you mentioned as great gifts. I work in healing. These are beautiful attributes for that work. . The ability to focus, as we do , as INFJ . I call this my ping, pong brain. You know the pingball machine where you have a lever. Pull . The ball shoots out and hits various levers to get caught or ping somewhere else. I tell my Love, bless him , when we are talking. It's the pingball mind shooting and pinging. ... wherever it hits in my brain the stream of thought flows. Just collecting ideas, ..random thoughts not necessarily the truth. This calms and takes away the energy from others feeling judged or assessed by me. . I tell them it's random. I am shifting thoughts ...that's all.
Marty by voicing all you have with such profound honesty , one ....touches my heart .. two. I would say ..this awareness is 50 % the way to understanding of how we can operate in world. The gifts we bring to everyone. The hardest lesson for me , is putting up boundaries....honouring my needs. Self. It's a process. Not easy. As a INFJ. Being a magnet for narcissists. I want to change that. Being in a loving relationship is where we grow the most. This is happening for me now. Thank you for your RUclips channel. Sharing this. I am so happy I came upon this forum. Hugs to all INFJ 's.
Thank you for the wonderful comment and here is your (not asked for ) answer: True Empathy surrounded by solid boundaries.
As for your comment it reads very healthy and on its way toward a continued smile. TYWC - Marty
THE ACCURACY IS BEAUTIFUL , HAPPY 2021 GUYS I BELIVE AS AN INFJ I AM A MASTERPIECE , I AM 1% OF THE WORLD .DAMN I AM DIFFERENT AND SOOOOO AWESOME ITS TIME WE EMBRACE IT AND OWN IT .
I love everything about what you said but the 1%. Now that is just me so great comment and I am sure others feel the same as you do and feel the same as I do. Either way it is a nice positive comment. TYWC - Marty
Yes thank you, I walk in your shoes. Just turned 40 & only learned this in the last few months so I’ve barely broken the ice on being an INFJ. Marty exactly what you said, Everything! In a way it’s helped knowing I’m not the only one but doesn’t change anything.
Helps to know a thing or two for the refelction in the mirror. MBTI helps; study them all and it makes your type today much easier. TYWC - Marty
Hello Marty, you beautiful kindred spirit!!! Healing INFJ here and new subscriber :) I feel everything that is inside of you (sorry if that comes off as strange) but I felt it before I even pressed play....I sincerely hope that you learn to love yourself completely! Embrace the pain and accept yourself for who you are :) We are not flawed or cursed, we are beacons of light in a dark world...You have found your purpose in life doing these videos and that is all you need to shift your mindset + maybe some good strong boundries!! I will be watching each one, keep up the good work and never lose that intensity, it is intoxicating.
Always moving forward and thank you for your kind thoughts. ;) TYWC - Marty
I'm watching this while studying, working on my associates degree because I get bored to easily with the trades. Just left a good paying job that would be a great deal for most in my field, I could see through the BS and once I did I knew it was time to leave. You're video's are helping, I'm type T... lol, action packed full of issues (I say that jokingly not to offend anyone). This is making a lot of sense... not sure what my next steps are yet but hey there's others like me and maybe I'm not alone in this mental state. I like how direct and honest you are, just say it, I wish people would stop ducking lying to me and just be honest and direct. Saves me time knowing weather to continue or cut bait and leave. I'm going to subscribe and see what you can tell me about why I can be so difficult.
Sounds good and this is all I can say at the moment: I do not do the A or the T but you do you and that is cool. As for my videos, some will be good others not so good but in the end it is just me and only me being me. If that resonates than you will be happy and if not then that is okay too. I can only promise this: Content nobody does for fear of losing money and subscribers; funny thing is I am not monetized and I could care less how many subs I have.
Thanks for the sub, it shows care for my content, and I appreciate comments. TYWC - Marty
On a two week decompression cycle from people.
Just learning and thinking.
Oddly undisturbed.
You gave many good warnings I can see.
Glad to help. TYWC - Marty
The horse story solidified it for me. There are degrees. THAT is me. I “see” and “know” before you do. Another interesting analogy. “We” don’t (or I don’t) try to be the best - we just always are. “We” always rise to the top without any effort or trying. This helped me too to understand a gal I work with. There is an energy that almost makes me sick. I cannot stand being in the same place with her yet she is the sweetest, nicest, kindest person - on the surface. I feel her and know that what you see is not what you get. She is hiding something.
;) TWYC - Marty