It just goes to show how hard it is for someone to objectively "diagnose" themselves. He thinks he's a sociopath but everyone else sees how much he actually cares
We have also stupidly glamorized sociopathy - I see ppl claim it all the time where there is a low chance of it being true (like this young man, you can see it doesn’t match pretty quickly), but weird how they like bragging about it when they do think it is true.
@@ComK-ib8kq I mean... there is no "real" sociopath, sociopath is not a medical condition, or rather no longer is, but AsPD is and AsPD is on a spectrum so it embodies alot of different types of people and behaviors, so it's bold to make that assumption.
if I'm right sociopathy is made by enviromental impact outside of you, trauma or other factor you conditioned to close off from empathy example. Psychopathy is when you never really had that much empathy to begin with but like said before it's a scale. Maybe I'm wrong but "Socio" pointing at Social factors influenced them to be this way while "Psycho" is the psyches indicating something with the mind example borning with lack or no remorse, empathy. But maybe I'm wrong.
@@cocopus I didn't say that it means that? But lots of people believe this to be the case, and then they tell themselves that they are sociopaths in an effort to not think about the bad emotions they are trying to suppress.
@@Chimponaut Yea theres a pretty big difference between being a genuine sociopath (who typically wouldnt seek help for a problem they dont believe is a problem), and someone pretending they are a sociopath so they dont have to admit to themselves that they're vulnerable and can be shaken by outside forces.
"You can just yawn, its okay." You just gotta love this guy in a world that constantly makes basic and normal bodily responses into a huge issue. The number of times someone held my yawning, tears or my nervous laughter against me...
@@bruhdabones People can say that if you yawn, you are not paying attention, or just making a case out of a conversation, not having any empathy to what is being brought up on the conversation etc.
@@anthvyk it’s completely natural. If someone lacks the basic perception skills required to distinguish between a feigned yawn and a genuine one, I don’t think their opinion is worth any concern.
The profoundness with which Dr. K can piece together different parts of the puzzle and produce a conclusion is so genius, I have so much respect for him and getting to see him do it in a long video like this is so overwhelmingly gratifying
This really helped me. I hadn't realized that my lack of feeling was because I didn't learn it form my mom (single mom). I highly suspect she was BPD. When ever I would express a feeling she reacted by telling me I was either faking it or that her or my sister had it worse so I needed to basically shut up. So I hid my feelings for safety. And now I have a hard time understanding when I am feeling an emotion or if I should be feeling something. I have a great group of friends now and I finally reached out to them for an issue with my boyfriend where I had been missing some serious red flags. So I spilled the beans and told everything to 3 of my closest friends that I trust their opinion and would follow their advice if they gave it. And they all got angry on my behalf. I needed to hear that, because I didn't realize that anger was appropriate and that helped me end things and I'm glad I did because more information was revealed to me from other people in my ex's life and it scared me. I'm really happy I ended things before he moved closer to me. This just reminds me to do what I told myself to do in the future, be quicker to reach out to friends for their input because I have blind spots and they are watching my back.
I know this is a 2y old vid and the comment will never be seen, but I actually matched 100% with this and his answers. Actually knowing the root and reasons for the way I think gives me a fighting chance for a change. The ending especially helped, I surprised my self when I cried, really didn't think it possible, so the ending took me for a wild ride of emotions, who knew calm breathing can do such a thing. I think I cried out last 20 years of suppressed shit. All in all I just wanted to say thank you
I have had bad CPTSD, and I think I am finally getting everything worked out and I had the same reaction. I guess with CPTSD episodes aren't as obvious, and it's hard to be aware of when you are having an episode, but I noticed that even though I have been such a piece of shit for so long I began at one point dreading why people would even bother being there for me, like, what did they see in me that made them be my friend despite all the rest. I figured it out, but the conclusion that I came to is the people who put up with my bullshit way longer than they should have, have always been there for me even when I began to drift away from them. I am glad you have managed to regain your emotions, mine would come back when I uncovered a piece and each piece gave me a good cry. But I think I can safely say I am finally at a place I never thought I would be of loving myself, or if I'm not there I can at least see the finish line. I am baffled I even managed to get through this with the situation I was in, but I think that's also a good sign. The biggest fucking bullshit though about cptsd is you have SO many triggers and everyone knew I was a ticking time bomb and knew they had to choose there words carefully and in most cases didn't even know what to say, but in MY FUCKING HEAD it seemed like everyone was just avoiding m. But any time someone decided to trigger me then continue to do so either unknowingly or because my reaction escalated the interaction it just added MORE trauma that my brain locked away and I developed SERIOUS amnesia from it. I think I have some hard wired stuff that may have also made it worse, cause around the time I got those treated that things started to unwind. Bipolar and GAD is what they diagnosed with, I think due to some of the symptoms of Bipolar combined with what I know now to be cptsd it just killed ALL of my self awareness and for the longest time I was also majorly depressed, over all a super fucked situation. But I don't even care anymore though. I'm just glad to, for the first time in far to long, finally get to say I am fine.
It's awesome that you had that experience, stumbling across this video. 🖤🖤🖤 Hope you are doing well. Hope that you have in-person people to see you and witness your growth too!
that was just wholesome. he just needed someone to help him get a little into touch with his emotions and the moment it happend he found himself crying. it was just beautiful
@Truth Talker yes they can, plenty of them can, it just takes certain level of acknowledgement and understanding for them to feel secure. And security is not something they feel to often because when you grow up like so, you don't understand why people get so excited or sad for certain things. But when you are brought to light and realization, being understood sweeps over you, the relief, and crying isn't impossible, it is just not easy because of how much of an emotional train they've been through, their brain is protecting them by allowing them to feel less than the average person. Or it could just be passed down, which makes it harder to identify because there is no change in you that you could notice, or anyone else because that's just *you.*
@Truth Talker But humans are evolving aren't they? We could all be sociopaths and not recognize it because we were all raised mirroring people at a certain degree and don't know what's real and what's not.🤷🏽♀️ And science isn't always right.
@Truth Talker and because sociopathy is made, i don't believe any level of trauma can cause you to loose complete respect for humans, but most of it, yes.
@Truth Talker " A True Sociopath" would just be black and white. either or. Sociopathy works more like a scale. A Person can have more or less certain sociopathic tendencies and even a 10/10 sociopath might not be imbued with a complete lack of empathy or other emotions. just because you saw 1 video of a sociopath wich fills all categories of the spectrum does not mean that other people with sociopathic tendencies wich are considered sociopaths and diagnosed as does not mean all others wich are diagnosed as sociopaths are out of touch with their conciousness. just because there is a lack of empathy does not mean there is none. there are some wich are completly void of empathy and some wich are not. You cant just put everyone in the same box. If a person lacks all empathy and sees others as objects and is completly void of remorse they might aswell be diagnosed as psychopaths but there is no such thing as a 100% diagnosy because there are a lot of variables and intensities and nuance. There is a ton of data on it and just saying "your personal opinion" does not mean there is more evidence behind your claim. "ask a real psychatrist" theres more than enough studies of REAL psychatrist wich agree that a person can have more tendencies and attributes of sociopathy and might not check all the boxes of a 10/10 TRUE sociopath. Data suggest a 100% lack of empathy is not true for every sociopath. Anti social personality disorder comes in every shape size and form and is easily miss labeled.
I'm a Neuroscientist and have read some papers on BPD. It's anywhere from 30-50% genetic (based on twin studies) and the rest is environmental. For example, people with BPD and Psychopathy in particular are born with genetic mutations that control impulsivity that are more plastic than the general population, and the expression of those genes can be altered by parenting style at critical stages of development. So it's hereditary, but it can be modulated by environment. It's both nature and nurture. But since a lot of the issues around BPD are due to arrested emotional development (~18 mos. of age) due to insufficient mirroring when they were toddlers, it can be successfully treated with DBT therapy (yes I know that's redundant, I'm just trying to be clear for people who don't know what DBT is. It's therapy, not medication.) In general, this is one way that children raised in the same household can experience very different outcomes -- some have inherited it and others haven't. It's really fascinating.
@Madolite Likely, but I have no idea, honestly. I only know that most data I've found is from that population. Then again, there are quite a number of diagnoses psychologists don't seem to want to touch, so who knows? It might just be a therapist issue, not a systemic issue.
@Madolite The time lag is why I went into research, tbh. I figured it would be better to see what was happening as it happened and be there to help than to wait 5-10 years for data to be published. I really hope you find the help you're looking for. Everyone deserves that. But, in the meantime, I guess you can do what I do and engage in bibliotherapy. There are so many books out there, maybe someone's published info about what you're interested in. Also check RUclips for continuing education videos for therapists. That's another way to gain insight into what they know and how they do what they do. Maybe it will help you.
The thing Dr.K was saying about people low on empathy deserving more credit if they try to help others was interesting. I'd never thought about it like that - how empathy is a kind of wiring that the person who has it isn't really responsible for. Like they almost have this superpower to connect with and help others easily, whereas people who don't have it need to wrestle a bit more with the notion of helping someone. And if they *do* help, it's after having broken through some kind of mental wall - which isn't something *they're* responsible for having either. And morally speaking, maybe it gets muddied by the more philosophical view that any provision of help is ultimately selfish since it can feel pleasurable to help, but that aside it's an interesting thought.
its something that actually comes from chinese philosophy its about the question of whether or not humans are born evil or good, the one, which is the one youd maybe get thaught about in school, that believes humans are inherently good obviously sounds more positive than the other one at first glance, the other one however credits humans for their morality because they are inherently driven by desires and ego but they do their best to act(one could also say "fake") moral it actually gives most humans a lot more credit for being able to keep their evil nature in check
I would say that they're both adaptive responses to an ultimately self-serving motive. People with more empathy gain pleasure out of helping someone else (as it would pain them to not help) and those who are more sociopathic help others for another, distant gain. One may be more complex than the other, but it seems humans generally function better when they serve themselves and that that desire just so happens to be best fulfilled by doing what is morally 'right'. The means all point toward the same end.
You might think it's a superpower but it's also a huge curse to have a lot of empathy. I cant control mine personally and sometimes it makes like hard as fuck for me.
On the subject of free will, which we are dangerously closing in on with this subject. You might also say that no human actually deserves less or more credit for anything they do. Every thought and line of reasoning comes from the wiring of the person, which they are not really responsible for, as you said. The problem is how to set the boundaries. Maybe all actions, regardless of morality, are deserving of sympathy. Of course this does not imply that we shouldn't hold people accountable for their actions. Labelling actions as good or bad and praising people for their good actions is a system akin to evolution, in which the favourable behaviour gets selected for. However i like to think that when it comes to "bad" behaviour, we could maybe benefit from more sympathy and less shunning, and put the blame where it's deserved, towards upbringing and or the natural wiring of the brain.
@@axeberge Yeah, I've come to be familiar with arguments for the non-existence of free will, specifically from people like Sam Harris and Alex O'Connor. I do think those kinds of arguments are pretty compelling, and they do have the implications you raised about accountability and whatnot. It's fascinating stuff.
Man, that hits hard at 49:40 Being the kid that has to comfort their parent, like all the time, that sucks man. And it's so hard to realize that something was wrong with your upbringing because your physical needs were taken care of. edit: corrected the timestamp
I was a very stoic child, there were years where I didnt even laugh. I didnt know it was a result of childhood trauma. Dont be diagnosing yourself as a sociopath because you cant show emotions well. Especially if you are still young/a teenager.
Aspd dont really have anything to do with showing emotions, nor really having emotions at that; everyone has emotions, and emotions doesnt equal empathy. Aspd is about emotional disregard of others. For me, being antisocial means living by my own standards; not someone else's, not society's - my own. I do what i want however much i want when i want whatever i want and i dont care if its not socially pleasant or socially accepted or socially considered whatever; i live by my own accord because this is my life. Theres no room for other ppl, well because its my life and everything needs to be about me.
The way Dr.K guides the conversation and gives his guests space to open up is great! This gives room to get into some pretty deep topics. Dr.K is part of my inspiration to help gamers get more relaxed and peaceful while gaming.
i love the way he gives him self time to think with a question if they mind if he just thinks for a second. makes the silence have a purpose and also show the other person hes thinking deeply while also letting people know not every conversation has to be fluid if it doesnt come naturally.
I don't have BPD (I suspect my mother does, tho) but man, that one minute between 1:18:45 and 1:20:00, where he talked abt people growing up in abusive households and having the emotional volume up to max -- that's basically my upbringing summed up, holy f. Thank you it felt nice hearing it explained like that and realizing that what I do/how I react makes sense T.T (i am working on lowering that volume tho but man its hard)
12:28 hahaha Dr k please. That was the most fakest yawn. I was playing a game when listening to this and the I had to go back after hearing you apologise for being tired to see if you yawned. I'm on to you and your empathy tests you cheeky boy. edit- You even smirk to yourself after it god damnit aha. Then you get concerned that he's onto you, asking him why he's smiling. I love it.
@@oz7440 Yawning triggers an empathy response in most people. Sociopaths would not have this response due to a lack of empathy. Dr K faked a yawn to see if the guest yawned in return. Call and response. If I was to yawn in a group of my friends they become agitated because they know what's coming. Within the next 5 mins they will start yawning. I have one friend who gets comically frustrated by it. Typing this out made me realise one of them never does it.. oh damn. Doesnt for sure mark a sociopath btw, but if you trigger a real yawn then it rules out that they are sociopaths if my understanding is correct. I've not read about it in a while
@witchtoker I mean it is soft science... but so is psychology in general. Like if you want to equate something like this which is fairly demonstrable, and has had studies and experimentation on it - crystal magic then that's your right. I think it's a bit of a silly leap. Have you ever actually read about empathic responses, or subconscious mimicry? Edit nvm. Just accidentally clicked your profile trying to see your pic. You blame feminism for incels existing. Why did I bother
This helped me understand myself so much better. Despite not being able to genuinely feel for others, I try to do what society considers good and kind in attempt to be a good person.
@@CrippledMerc that at least slightly changes the narrative normally pushed about sociopaths though. If they’re at least trying to do the right thing… then can you really call them evil unfeeling monsters?
@@BD-yl5mh > can you really call them evil unfeeling monsters? It sounds safest to stick *only* to the unfeeling part, and qualify it with "towards others".
less than 3 minutes in and already he doesn't sound like a sociopath at all. He seems to mimic/mirror others not necessarily out of manipulation, but a high level of empathy mixed with some social ineptitude.
I think i saw a sociopath once. She was maybe late 20's, white skin, black clothes and sort of had the same vibe as onision. Creepy and normal at the same time. These people give off a bipolar vibe. I dont even think they want to feel this way, its just that their internal functioning malfunctions.
Usually you have to force empathy towards a sociopathic person. It doesn't just happen when your around them. You have to talk sense into what ever they did was wrong
That was wonderful to witness. To see that relief wash over him was amazing. He's been brought up in such a challenging environment and had to deal with so much, poor kid. What a valuable service you did for him.
Like someone in another comment here, I had an ex who had BPD, and so did a really close friend, and ironically both of our exes made a really big deal out of claiming to be highly empathic - but looking back, it seems like it wasn't empathy (as in genuinely picking up on and feeling the emotions of another person) as it was projecting (feeling an emotion, themselves, and thinking it was coming from the other person, or thinking they're picking up on another person's emotions even if it was often an inaccurate interpretation) - I'm not sure if they had empathy but exaggerated the emotions of others by filtering through their own perspectives, or didn't have empathy, maybe some of both. Either way though it was a lot to deal with, getting wrapped up in their emotional interpretations and all the chaos. Like you had to disconnect from your emotions to not set them off, or hearing them call themselves empathic while completely misinterpreting your real emotions, until you don't even know what you're feeling, yourself - on top of the whole trying to help and not having any impact thing. It's tough. This guy was really brave for putting himself out there and being open about this, I relate to a lot of what he said and this video was really enlightening.
The two people i was super close to with BPD, my mom and one of my exes, also claimed to be highly empathetic and my mom really made my dad believe if was true. But yeah. They seemed to have worse empathy than an average person in the end. They were so caught up in their own emotions and in assigning ideas of what others must think and just feel not based in reality.
OH MY GOSH! This is amazing. I feel like I just took a year-long psychology course. Wonderful! Thank you so much for this. And thank you to the chameleon for allowing you to share this. Incredibly inciteful. ❤❤❤
@@xavierdoppler9997 mr. Important, you understood what i meant yet you felt the need to correct my spelling, get a life fr, u prolly one of those beta males too thin/too fat to go out there and behave like a real man.
@@xavierdoppler9997 you asked the question "what is acting like a real man?" that tells me everything i nees to know. #BETAALERT not gonna spend more time here now, got more important things to do unlike you sitting here correcting peoples spelling. Go get yourself laid, fucking looser 😂
@@MeetMeViceVersa Lmao. You've read as "We need more of this dawg, you doing..." and what Jesus meant, I think it was "We need more of this, dawg, you're doing..."
I like the way that Dr. K explains the relationship between environmental & neurobiological factors in development (& I assume he’d describe the relationship between the physical brain/body & the mind similarly); these things cannot be understood in isolation from each other- they’re halves of a single whole & their development is a constant interplay back & forth with dynamic feedback loops & interactions. To get at it from a slightly different angle, as Alan Watts said, you cannot have an organism without an environment (even if the organism was in the vacuum of space, that’s an environment), because what actually exists is a field of “organism-environment-“ the same way that if you look at a painting, you couldn’t have the painting without having both the foreground & the background (it would be something different than what it really is). Environmental factors & initial genetic factors interact in a dialectical process of change to develop the person who you become, & who you become shapes what kinds of environmental factors you’ll tend to gravitate towards, which influence who you become, & so on. Assuming humans really have agency, our material conditions shape the physical electro-chemical signals that mediate our mental state, & then the decisions we make based on that mental state & those starting conditions affect how we behave with our bodies (what we say & do, externalizations of our thoughts), which in turn change our external environment, which changes the electro-chemical signals we get from our sense receptors, which change our thoughts, which change our behaviors, & the cycle repeats. Now we can armchair philosophize about whether agency is real or illusory, but as far as I’m concerned there is no way to prove or disprove that definitively, so what I go off (as a consequentialist) are the predictable results of behaving as though free will is/might be real or behaving as though you assume it isn’t. Obviously, even if free will exists, it is limited (I can’t change the past, couldn’t choose where I was born as far as I know, can’t be on the other side of the planet 1 minute from now, etc.), but I think it is far more productive to believe we have agency to change things, rather than assuming we are just automata completely at the mercy of conditions which we cannot even slightly effect, because (whether in politics or personal life) the assumption that human beings don’t have agency only leads to a kind of defeatism where people believe there’s no point in trying to improve things, as well as a belief that concepts of freedom or the distribution of power don’t matter because all freedom is an illusion (as if there’s no experienced difference in living in a free, classless democracy versus living in some kind of tyrannical class system with a dictatorial state & corporations dominating your life). I think that, whether free will is real or illusory is kind of irrelevant & highly academic when it comes to the practicality of the issue... The fact is, we experience ourselves as making choices that have predictable consequences in what happens around & within us. If I decide to go drive downtown right now, things will be different than if I drive to another state or stay at home. If I eat one food it will have different consequences than if I eat another, or if I don’t eat at all. This is the subjective reality of every person, so as far as our lived experiences on Earth, the de facto reality is that we should live as if it’s true, whether or not from some higher cosmic perspective we would see it to be an illusion- or, as I would prefer to think of it, a superficiality which is real on the surface, but illusory on a deeper level.
I really feel for this guy, his parents im sure try their best and he clearly loves them, even if he doesnt realise it. His sister is young and very troubled, but the repurcussions of emotional blackmail on him are having a very lasting affect
I also relate to feeling like a chameleon. I actually burned out when I lived with my now ex wife for a year because I had to constantly mask. I didn't want to hurt her or lose her, so I had to fake emotions and remind myself to pay attention to her even when I was bored and to sometimes put her needs above mine. I had to put so much effort and concentration into how I acted and be alert constantly, I could never just relax and be myself. I can't live like that, but I also know it's not ethical to pursue honeymoon phases and trauma bonding and then dropping people when I get bored. So I have just decided to distance myself from people and accept my vague feeling of unhappiness. My rehabilitation team is on my case about my lack of social life but without that dopamine high I get nothing from socializing, it's just a tedious chore.
So I'm at 12,5 mins in, and Dr K yawns. It feels a bit unnatural to me. Is he trying to see whether the 'interviewee' will yawn as well? As a means of assessing his empathy, I mean.
I think he is gauging the young man to see if his demeanor will change. iirc that is a simple way to gauge how narcissistic someone is on the spectrum or if he will, like you asked, show empathy. Also to see if the man would get offended because of his sense of high self importance?? Kind of like the "how dare you" be disinterested in me type attitude. This is just like the sneezing test imo. This sounds jumbled, I'm tired. Just my thinking on it. Let me know if anyone else has input and if that makes sense.
It doesn't seem like a real yawn to me either. It could've been an assessment of empathy or to see if the guest would mimic the yawn like a chameleon because he feels defensive. Dr. K mentioned he wanted to take the possible pressure off the guest by talking about himself before the yawn moment.
I'm pretty sure he yawned because he started talking down a path that he didn't really have anything to say. If you notice he said he was going to now bring the attention to himself to take pressure off the kid so he can judge him too. Yet he never ended up mentioning anything about himself.
Do you enjoy dominating and controlling others? Do you strive to always have the upper hand? Do you manipulate others just for fun to see if you can? Do you like making people confused about what you want from them? Do you feel satisfaction when you make others cry? Do you feel the need to be the center of attention in group settings? Do you ignore other people's feelings in favor of pursuing your own goals? Do you treat people like tools to help you get what you want? Do you intentionally upset people and then go out of your way to make them feel better? Do you need to others to be dependent on you? Do you think the rules should not or do not apply to you? Do you break rules for fun because you can? Do you enjoy the challenge of not getting caught? Do you change who and how you are depending on who is around you? Have you been this way since you were a child? Do you enjoy bullying others? Do you commit crimes because you think you are entitled to? These are way better questions to ask yourself than "do I have enough empathy to yawn when I see someone else yawn?"
Sociopathy is also largely defined by compulsiveness, callousness, lack of guilt and remorse. But usually is accompanied by HIGH neuroticism, meaning frequently experiencing heightened states of anxiety, sadness, anger etc. In this case, we see an individual who claims to be reserved, and very "emotionally neutral", in other words, shallow affect (not feeling much emotions). This is more fitting to the description of psychopathy type 1, rather than sociopathy. Also being able to manipulate others is linked to psychopathy for this reason (their emotions don't stand in their way, so they remain cold and calculated about social interactions). Nonetheless, psychopathy is likewise not a disorder that automatically means you are a bad person prone to hurt people or commit crimes. There are many psychopathic people out there who never hurt anyone and never break the law, because they are intelligent and conscientious enough to realize that living morally is the better way to live. And in this video we have a beautiful rundown of how psychopathy can be treated (at least in cases that are not very severe).
Thank you. I feel like the majority of the comments do not understand what sociopathy is, I'm quite confused reading through them before I've even watched the video.
i feel this guys frustration inside of how hes trying to explain this, this is how i feel its kinda like i have 2 sides which alternate. i can feel sensitive and feel emotions easily but then it can change at the click of the fingers. i can think of family and feel nothing. but if i did ever visit like at Christmas or whatever i mimic there emotions because i don't know how or what to feel if that makes sense
It makes sense man. Maybe you learned to split yourself up kind of. Look into disassociation and derealization. Your mind can learn to suppress itself. Some things you can do now to get in more touch with your emotions: recognize when you are feeling an emotions, tell yourself it’s okay and normal to feel this way, repeat.
@@lindboknifeandtool i definitely feel disassociated and detached from everyone and everything around me... feels kind of horrible and selfish when i sit and think of it but i then forget it easily and feel nothing soon after. it didnt take me long to realise this is what i was feeling the word derealisation hits different for me
I'm an only child and as a kid I never really recieved strong emotions from my fathers side. What I found out with this video is that my coping mechanism with this lack of strong emotions was, to be around my friends houses frequently. I think I was a huge emotional "chameleon " untill i got 16 . So this was all a pretty smart, and apparently unconscious , way my brain fixed this lack by learning from other households ! Maybe that's the downside from having parents who are really engaged in meditation and have less emotional peaks . I'm sure personality plays a big part in that aswell, but just an interesting thought I had. All fine tho, my parents did everything right they could have. :p Would love to speak to you about spiritual paths and how self-reflection is a double edged sword sometimes.
That's one reason it is important to get socialised at a young age. Empathy doesn't need to come from your parents so long as they can prepare you for socialising by about 4. Naturally, you will probably be more emotionally reserved as you have seen that from your parents but they probably did a fine job and you are most likely mentally healthy, even if you were/are a social chameleon. I think we all are to some degree. I'm sure you're doing great.
@@asswhole4195 dr Phil does not go as deep as this guy. I'm new to his content but i think the purpose is to help people within the online gaming culture. You have to remember, these people are young, a lot of them are broke financially or maybe don't know how to get help. So maybe they see a video like this and think "hey, i feel the same. Maybe his advice will be helpful to me".
That was really great! I don't know why but I always can relate to some parts of the upbringing of all those interviews... Like I could understand in almost every interview what the person feels like because I felt the same thing in some way at some point of my life. But Dr. K also explained that once when he was telling what the point of this series is... But I never would have thought that I would get something out of this interview. So for me it is that I thought I didn't have emotions for a long time after my father died and I thought I was emotionless and had no empathy... But years later I understood that I was a child and just didn't develop that skill until my early adulthood. I learned to have empathy but always felt like it was kind of wrong for me to have to learn it and not be able to intrinsically feel it. So that was also with my father when he was really sad because he was terminally sick and cried a lot I didn't feel anything in those times and didn't know how to empathize with him and help him. So I tried to just be there for him even though there was a wall. Several years later I sometimes can't stop crying while I'm grieving the loss of him. I know it is not the same at all but something just felt familiar about him not thinking that he is a bad person and not being able to empathize with someone. Also I am sometimes manipulative and say stuff just so that I get on the good side of people.... But I don't take advantage of it I just don't know how to act with people sometimes so I just act in a certain kind of way if that makes sense. Also not having an identity for so long resonated with me. I didn't know who I was either for a long time because I so often acted the way my parents wanted me to be to feel loved so I pretended to like things like going to the opera or to the museum even though it was sooooooooo boring. So all in all sorry for that long post... Probably nobody (except for someone who procrastinates or can't sleep or whatever) will ever read this post but I think it helped me to write that down. :)
Just wanted to mention that I am indeed procrastinating on getting sleep despite being tired. Either way, it was an interesting read - take care of yourself.
I can relate to his childhood. Neglectful and emotionally abusive. Parents divorced when I was eleven. If I didn't have a twin brother I imagine emotionally I would turned out like him. Man this one was a tough one for me.
@@oohflacco i guess he was seeing if he would yawn back edit: i just googled it "yawn test sociopath" and it says "The less empathetic someone is, the less likely they are to yawn back. According to a new study, people with psychopathic traits are less likely to catch a yawn from the sleepy people around them because they tend to lack empathy and emotional connections with others."
This was really very cool. I must say once it got to the meditation part I had to turn the video off because it felt so private... Really cool stuff tho!
♥ big true ♥ his passion means a lot to me. I'm so glad there are mental health professionals out there that still care. Many of the ones I've seen.. they just do not care, and they make it obvious. This guy has a real passion for lifting others up. It's beautiful.
there are more people like the doc doing aoe healing, or powerful single target heals, or HealingOverTime effects unfortunately they are more or less rare and either they are not known about, or even some (like medical community) is trying to stop them just like how Doc was strongly advised against doing this on twitch and that could have big issues but guess what ? When someone truly cares, they take responsabillity and the risk, does not look for excuses
@@CreativePublisher sorry to hear and no i didnt spoke about doctors i ment people like this Doc, who are truly able ot help people they either studied philosophy, or are self taught in philosophy, psychology and thru their own life unfortunately most psychologist and psychiatrist should loose their job , for how they do more damage than help
I think the first guy at some point during the recent years of his life has been arguing alot with someone close to him that is actually manipulative and called him a sociopath, hence made him insecure of his identity, wild guess 🤷🏻♂️ but based on what happened to myself being in a bad relationship. Someone who make you start thinking of yourself negatively in regards to your true identity is most likely (not all cases) a manipulative person you should stay away from
Always love watching these till the end Despite all the joke “destiny” jokes this was really an amazing video and great interview Learning about his roots ahd undercovering the truth helped me learn a lot about myself FUCNKIN LOOOOVE THIS SHIT MANN
Hey, Dr. K you will probably never see this comment but I wanted to say I'm grateful that you've posted this video. In the 20 years of my pitiful existence, I feel as though this is the first time I've ever made real progress. Thank you.
I know how you feel. This video hit really really close to home and the ending actually helped so much, I didn't feel my self cry in years but the ending just dug up something. There is still hope for us
17:40 borderline is often from trauma in childhood. chances are that he also was traumatized in his childhood, just like his sister. He's just reacting to it differently. Also he does say he changes how he is a lot depending on who he is with, which is super borderline. Some people don't think about it but you can have comorbidity between these and you can be in control of yourself even if you have said things. edit 10 mins later: he seems to have empathy for his parents being stressed. Having a traumatic childhood can make you appear numb, so much so that you think you are sociopathic. But it's a response to trauma at childhood. That's how he found to cope and that's how he's got his shit together somewhat when his sister is a mess going through similar thing.
Speaking of crying in movies... I literally cry at every sad scene. And that's at the same time that my cynical mind is like "They'd never hug like that!!!".
It's easy to call someone a sociopath, especially ourselves. The young man has guts to expose himself like this. I think we all should question ourselves like this. We may find we aren't as evil as we think, and it'll be easier to identify those that truly are the dark influences on our lives
i really hate that im empathetic, and at some point in my life, i actually hated people around me bcoz of how empathetic i was. it felt like every time they shared their emotions with me, i was always compelled to help them as if my own emotions were forcing me against my will. the older i grew, i started to realize how to handle that part of myself and finally felt a little better being around ppl.
i disagree, its definitely not an attempt to be real, and its not any more real than the real thing, tho i do agree that it can at times definitely be of greater value but only when you do it with good intentions, the intentions to help the other, however because "good intentions", and "help" are so subjective at times its of lesser value
I revisit this video often because despite loving my family, they are imperfect. I am on the journey of self help and that includes bringing up those around me. I am empathetic to my family’s problems despite wanting to criticize and lash out at them. This often leaves me pretty drained holding in my true opinions for fear of furthering unnecessary explosive episodes. I ultimately have little room for any extra social interaction that isn’t included in my close circle
Wow. So I think that I don't share my emotions because that's what my dad didn't do when my mom died when I was 11. Like he didn't cry, and so I saw that and mirrored it and didn't cry either. Even a classmate of mine asked me why I hadn't cried about it, one day in class. I even wrote about my Dad not showing emotion in my college entry paper, as a strength (i do feel its an unknown bad, i dont blame him at all). God, from 11 on I have been subconciously taught to be reserved, and with such a trauma like losing my Mom I probably used all of the emotional flow that comes with that towards that mirrored idea of reservation. I remeber being outgoing before, and after it was reserved. That year was the first year I got talking to this girl, and then I get rejected and what do you know I never try to get talking with another girl again. This trauma was truly important and my mirrored responses to it make it feel today as something that probably doesnt cause my depression/anxiety. Never thought about this before today, im very thankful for this video. I'm going to call my therapists office and make the appointment i have been procrastinating because i feel like i have something to really dive into now.
the moment he'd spoken about him maybe being a sociopath, i was like "what a cool guy, damn it! he gives a shit, and he ain't afraid to dig into all that publicly, so that others could also benefit from the exploration". and then when he spoke about his sister, his parents and girlfriend - damn it! it's like the exact opposite of being an asshole, if that question was still there. i hope you're doing great, mate. and if not, you will. all the best to you and your folks, and thanks for the talk!
I can relate a lot with him. I always had that feeling I was emotionally void but eventually I learned that I was safe guarding myself. Luckily I learned it's more beneficial to be vulnerable and I'm not weak enough to justify being so safe.
I went through something similar in my life and have felt the same way as this kid. I had so many breakthroughs with this video. I really appreciate it. (Disclaimer this video is not medical advice =)
Did Dr. K just use the yawn trick to see if he would yawn back so he could draw a connection between yawn responding and empathy? Nice move dude. Nice.
Oof I can relate so much to the `his mom is a bigger teenager than he was at 16` thing... I hate that it is that way and I want to do my best so that my future children won´t have to go trough the shit I or he or anyone with bad parents did.
There is something called Alexithymia which makes you blind to your own emotions and people with Autism sometimes have it, you do feel emotions but can't really distinguish if you are feeling sad or angry etc and so the person's lack of awareness of his/her own emotions can possibly be perceived to the person himself/herself that there are no emotions that they can feel and perhaps they start thinking they may be a bad person. This guy may actually have this, what is the most important thing is that he helps others and trying to be a good person
I am surprised the topic of autism spectrum disorder didn't come up. Flat affect, i.e not reflecting how you feel on the inside or coming across as cold because you do not understand your emotions and consequently do not express them, is very linked with autism, and I thought I had antisocial personality disorder traits and narcissistic traits for years until I got diagnosed with autism and ADHD. Cognitive empathy and "theory of mind" are reduced while affective/emotional empathy is often elevated when the autistic person understands the emotion and feels safe. Autistic people are sometimes more vulnerable to traumatic experiences due to naivety and heightened sensitivity, where PTSD can result in numbness and anger problems.
Putting on a mask can be so habitual that mask becomes you. Am I mimicking emotion, or is this actually what real emotion is? Sometimes the line gets blurred, and there is no baseline experience for which to judge yourself.
He started by saying he might be a sociopath, but as soon as he said "i feel sad when others are sad around me" i knew we had another Sky Williams case and having not watched the whole video yet, I am guessing that he is actually VERY empathetic but something taught him to not feel his own emotions probably from some kind of trauma
Sociopathic behaviour is taught, psychopathic is genetic. Sociopathic tendencies could exist without someone being a full-blown sociopath. Haven’t watched yet tho
he then went on to explain that he doesn't "feel" sad he just "acts" sad to mirror those around him, its called social chameleonism and sociopaths are really good at it
His mum and dad have bipolar and his sister has bpd..... he's surrounded by, to put it neutrally, super-feelers. These people may have told him that he's a sociopath for being neutral often in his mood state....which is normal. I have bipolar and when I got medicated I got neutral and I recognised that most people were pretty neutral and that's the healthy state. Before that because I often felt hypomanic or depressed and I'm a deep feeling person with overpowered empathy I often felt like normal people around me were sociopaths. When I was very young like under 21 I thought that I was ok and the world was messed up, which indicates I had very low insight. Once I was somewhere around 23 I understood it was me with the problem but my ego still wanted to defend me for a long time, because it's depressing and I didn't get proper help until I was 34, and I'm pretty great now with meds and self knowledge. I wonder if having parents and a sibling like that has suggested to him that normal functioning was disordered. I think he seems like a great guy who has few actual problems besides those around him.
You might want to look up what sociopathy is, because what you describe doesn't fit the term at all :) It's nothing like being emotionally neutral, it's actually the emotional type of antisocial personality disorder.
My sister has borderline personality and I was lucky enough to leave the house and study abroad in another country. For a long time I asked myself why I couldn’t feel anything, no emotions and I now understand… I used it to protect myself. Nothing has changed, my parents’s lives has not changed, my sister still controlling them and nothing will change, the first one that has to try to break the cycle is my mother and she is not willing to do that to keep “peace” in the house. Glad I left the house 20 years ago. Still wish different were different
”What is better, to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?”
-Paarthurnax
A bit simplistic, but still a good point.
What a great dragon he was... R I P
@@Linkinpark4life333 You didn't have to kill Paarthurnax
to be good either way, they're equally as good, one of course required more effort and hardship but in a sense that's just karma no?
Absolutely overcoming it!
It just goes to show how hard it is for someone to objectively "diagnose" themselves. He thinks he's a sociopath but everyone else sees how much he actually cares
We have also stupidly glamorized sociopathy - I see ppl claim it all the time where there is a low chance of it being true (like this young man, you can see it doesn’t match pretty quickly), but weird how they like bragging about it when they do think it is true.
@@ComK-ib8kqas if people without sociopathy don’t do same thing
@@soulaanvon exactly, that comment was stupid
@@ComK-ib8kq I mean... there is no "real" sociopath, sociopath is not a medical condition, or rather no longer is, but AsPD is and AsPD is on a spectrum so it embodies alot of different types of people and behaviors, so it's bold to make that assumption.
if I'm right sociopathy is made by enviromental impact outside of you, trauma or other factor you conditioned to close off from empathy example. Psychopathy is when you never really had that much empathy to begin with but like said before it's a scale. Maybe I'm wrong but "Socio" pointing at Social factors influenced them to be this way while "Psycho" is the psyches indicating something with the mind example borning with lack or no remorse, empathy. But maybe I'm wrong.
Kid comes in thinking he's a sociopath, turns out he's a big gooey sweetheart.
Probably because imagining you are a sociopath would be a great way to avoid thinking you can feel things.
@@Chimponaut being a sociopath doesn't mean you don't have emotions.
@@cocopus I didn't say that it means that? But lots of people believe this to be the case, and then they tell themselves that they are sociopaths in an effort to not think about the bad emotions they are trying to suppress.
That's what every sociopath wants you to believe.
@@Chimponaut Yea theres a pretty big difference between being a genuine sociopath (who typically wouldnt seek help for a problem they dont believe is a problem), and someone pretending they are a sociopath so they dont have to admit to themselves that they're vulnerable and can be shaken by outside forces.
Why is Dr. K on the right side >:(
This bothers me.
No real reason, just a boomer mistake maybe :D
Dr K. is the Sociopath.
@@fetcher7041 genius
You know I wasn’t sure what was bothering me about this vod but now I know
"You can just yawn, its okay." You just gotta love this guy in a world that constantly makes basic and normal bodily responses into a huge issue. The number of times someone held my yawning, tears or my nervous laughter against me...
Under what circumstances is it not acceptable to yawn????
@@bruhdabones People can say that if you yawn, you are not paying attention, or just making a case out of a conversation, not having any empathy to what is being brought up on the conversation etc.
@@anthvyk it’s completely natural. If someone lacks the basic perception skills required to distinguish between a feigned yawn and a genuine one, I don’t think their opinion is worth any concern.
lowkey didn't even see why he said that, i saw nothing indicative of a yawn
@@bruhdabones are you telling me you never yawned in school and had a teacher say "I'm sorry, am I boring you?"
The profoundness with which Dr. K can piece together different parts of the puzzle and produce a conclusion is so genius, I have so much respect for him and getting to see him do it in a long video like this is so overwhelmingly gratifying
Getting to see the process unfold itself*
I think dr K is a bit weak in his cluster b recognition abilities, he needs to level that shit up
@@barefootjakejake7765 what do you mean?
@@huss2600 *doesn't elaborate*
Like watching a grandmaster finish a game of chess
This really helped me. I hadn't realized that my lack of feeling was because I didn't learn it form my mom (single mom). I highly suspect she was BPD. When ever I would express a feeling she reacted by telling me I was either faking it or that her or my sister had it worse so I needed to basically shut up. So I hid my feelings for safety. And now I have a hard time understanding when I am feeling an emotion or if I should be feeling something.
I have a great group of friends now and I finally reached out to them for an issue with my boyfriend where I had been missing some serious red flags. So I spilled the beans and told everything to 3 of my closest friends that I trust their opinion and would follow their advice if they gave it. And they all got angry on my behalf. I needed to hear that, because I didn't realize that anger was appropriate and that helped me end things and I'm glad I did because more information was revealed to me from other people in my ex's life and it scared me. I'm really happy I ended things before he moved closer to me.
This just reminds me to do what I told myself to do in the future, be quicker to reach out to friends for their input because I have blind spots and they are watching my back.
Dr. K really gets people, I am blown away. That person totally realized he wasn't a bad person. Blessings
I wonder what goes through his beautiful Indian mind when he says "can i think for a second"
@@firstname7487 thoughts..?
@@aiht533the kind of thoughts smartass
@@firstname7487 😆😆😂😂🤣🤣 Exactly!
It's trauma . @@firstname7487
I know this is a 2y old vid and the comment will never be seen, but I actually matched 100% with this and his answers. Actually knowing the root and reasons for the way I think gives me a fighting chance for a change. The ending especially helped, I surprised my self when I cried, really didn't think it possible, so the ending took me for a wild ride of emotions, who knew calm breathing can do such a thing. I think I cried out last 20 years of suppressed shit.
All in all I just wanted to say thank you
Cheers friend
Fantastic!
How are ya doing now if I could ask?
I have had bad CPTSD, and I think I am finally getting everything worked out and I had the same reaction. I guess with CPTSD episodes aren't as obvious, and it's hard to be aware of when you are having an episode, but I noticed that even though I have been such a piece of shit for so long I began at one point dreading why people would even bother being there for me, like, what did they see in me that made them be my friend despite all the rest. I figured it out, but the conclusion that I came to is the people who put up with my bullshit way longer than they should have, have always been there for me even when I began to drift away from them. I am glad you have managed to regain your emotions, mine would come back when I uncovered a piece and each piece gave me a good cry. But I think I can safely say I am finally at a place I never thought I would be of loving myself, or if I'm not there I can at least see the finish line. I am baffled I even managed to get through this with the situation I was in, but I think that's also a good sign.
The biggest fucking bullshit though about cptsd is you have SO many triggers and everyone knew I was a ticking time bomb and knew they had to choose there words carefully and in most cases didn't even know what to say, but in MY FUCKING HEAD it seemed like everyone was just avoiding m. But any time someone decided to trigger me then continue to do so either unknowingly or because my reaction escalated the interaction it just added MORE trauma that my brain locked away and I developed SERIOUS amnesia from it. I think I have some hard wired stuff that may have also made it worse, cause around the time I got those treated that things started to unwind. Bipolar and GAD is what they diagnosed with, I think due to some of the symptoms of Bipolar combined with what I know now to be cptsd it just killed ALL of my self awareness and for the longest time I was also majorly depressed, over all a super fucked situation. But I don't even care anymore though.
I'm just glad to, for the first time in far to long, finally get to say I am fine.
I wish you well🍵
Thank you for sharing
It's awesome that you had that experience, stumbling across this video.
🖤🖤🖤
Hope you are doing well.
Hope that you have in-person people to see you and witness your growth too!
that was just wholesome. he just needed someone to help him get a little into touch with his emotions and the moment it happend he found himself crying. it was just beautiful
@Truth Talker yes they can, plenty of them can, it just takes certain level of acknowledgement and understanding for them to feel secure. And security is not something they feel to often because when you grow up like so, you don't understand why people get so excited or sad for certain things. But when you are brought to light and realization, being understood sweeps over you, the relief, and crying isn't impossible, it is just not easy because of how much of an emotional train they've been through, their brain is protecting them by allowing them to feel less than the average person. Or it could just be passed down, which makes it harder to identify because there is no change in you that you could notice, or anyone else because that's just *you.*
@Truth Talker But humans are evolving aren't they? We could all be sociopaths and not recognize it because we were all raised mirroring people at a certain degree and don't know what's real and what's not.🤷🏽♀️
And science isn't always right.
@Truth Talker and because sociopathy is made, i don't believe any level of trauma can cause you to loose complete respect for humans, but most of it, yes.
@Truth Talker " A True Sociopath" would just be black and white. either or. Sociopathy works more like a scale. A Person can have more or less certain sociopathic tendencies and even a 10/10 sociopath might not be imbued with a complete lack of empathy or other emotions. just because you saw 1 video of a sociopath wich fills all categories of the spectrum does not mean that other people with sociopathic tendencies wich are considered sociopaths and diagnosed as does not mean all others wich are diagnosed as sociopaths are out of touch with their conciousness. just because there is a lack of empathy does not mean there is none. there are some wich are completly void of empathy and some wich are not. You cant just put everyone in the same box. If a person lacks all empathy and sees others as objects and is completly void of remorse they might aswell be diagnosed as psychopaths but there is no such thing as a 100% diagnosy because there are a lot of variables and intensities and nuance. There is a ton of data on it and just saying "your personal opinion" does not mean there is more evidence behind your claim. "ask a real psychatrist" theres more than enough studies of REAL psychatrist wich agree that a person can have more tendencies and attributes of sociopathy and might not check all the boxes of a 10/10 TRUE sociopath. Data suggest a 100% lack of empathy is not true for every sociopath. Anti social personality disorder comes in every shape size and form and is easily miss labeled.
@Truth Talker clearly, you are not a doctor. lol. yuck. truth seeker is spreading misinformation :(
name: confusing
nickname: even more confusing
Ahaha, Name: Atílio,
But Brazilians pronounce T as (Tx), a mistery for others PT speakers.
I came to find this comment LOL that was like a SNL skit.
@@defania15 The brazilian jumped out when he said his name.
@@defania15 what would the phonetic spelling of his name be? Uh-ts-keel-ee-o......ah-tsee-leo?
@@lindboknifeandtool Ah-tchi-lee-o
I'm a Neuroscientist and have read some papers on BPD. It's anywhere from 30-50% genetic (based on twin studies) and the rest is environmental. For example, people with BPD and Psychopathy in particular are born with genetic mutations that control impulsivity that are more plastic than the general population, and the expression of those genes can be altered by parenting style at critical stages of development. So it's hereditary, but it can be modulated by environment. It's both nature and nurture. But since a lot of the issues around BPD are due to arrested emotional development (~18 mos. of age) due to insufficient mirroring when they were toddlers, it can be successfully treated with DBT therapy (yes I know that's redundant, I'm just trying to be clear for people who don't know what DBT is. It's therapy, not medication.) In general, this is one way that children raised in the same household can experience very different outcomes -- some have inherited it and others haven't. It's really fascinating.
@Madolite Likely, but I have no idea, honestly. I only know that most data I've found is from that population. Then again, there are quite a number of diagnoses psychologists don't seem to want to touch, so who knows? It might just be a therapist issue, not a systemic issue.
@Madolite The time lag is why I went into research, tbh. I figured it would be better to see what was happening as it happened and be there to help than to wait 5-10 years for data to be published. I really hope you find the help you're looking for. Everyone deserves that. But, in the meantime, I guess you can do what I do and engage in bibliotherapy. There are so many books out there, maybe someone's published info about what you're interested in. Also check RUclips for continuing education videos for therapists. That's another way to gain insight into what they know and how they do what they do. Maybe it will help you.
He's terribly brave to talk about this tbh. I respect that.
Sociopaths useotgers and destroy their self esteem and then laught at them them for suffering.
@@michaelpond813 ?
@@michaelpond813oh
@@michaelpond813how about we learn to form a comprehensible sentence before we talk about others eh buddy?
@@michaelpond813 i disbelieve that every sociopath acts like you described
The thing Dr.K was saying about people low on empathy deserving more credit if they try to help others was interesting. I'd never thought about it like that - how empathy is a kind of wiring that the person who has it isn't really responsible for. Like they almost have this superpower to connect with and help others easily, whereas people who don't have it need to wrestle a bit more with the notion of helping someone. And if they *do* help, it's after having broken through some kind of mental wall - which isn't something *they're* responsible for having either. And morally speaking, maybe it gets muddied by the more philosophical view that any provision of help is ultimately selfish since it can feel pleasurable to help, but that aside it's an interesting thought.
its something that actually comes from chinese philosophy
its about the question of whether or not humans are born evil or good, the one, which is the one youd maybe get thaught about in school, that believes humans are inherently good obviously sounds more positive than the other one at first glance, the other one however credits humans for their morality because they are inherently driven by desires and ego but they do their best to act(one could also say "fake") moral
it actually gives most humans a lot more credit for being able to keep their evil nature in check
I would say that they're both adaptive responses to an ultimately self-serving motive. People with more empathy gain pleasure out of helping someone else (as it would pain them to not help) and those who are more sociopathic help others for another, distant gain. One may be more complex than the other, but it seems humans generally function better when they serve themselves and that that desire just so happens to be best fulfilled by doing what is morally 'right'. The means all point toward the same end.
You might think it's a superpower but it's also a huge curse to have a lot of empathy. I cant control mine personally and sometimes it makes like hard as fuck for me.
On the subject of free will, which we are dangerously closing in on with this subject. You might also say that no human actually deserves less or more credit for anything they do. Every thought and line of reasoning comes from the wiring of the person, which they are not really responsible for, as you said. The problem is how to set the boundaries. Maybe all actions, regardless of morality, are deserving of sympathy. Of course this does not imply that we shouldn't hold people accountable for their actions. Labelling actions as good or bad and praising people for their good actions is a system akin to evolution, in which the favourable behaviour gets selected for. However i like to think that when it comes to "bad" behaviour, we could maybe benefit from more sympathy and less shunning, and put the blame where it's deserved, towards upbringing and or the natural wiring of the brain.
@@axeberge Yeah, I've come to be familiar with arguments for the non-existence of free will, specifically from people like Sam Harris and Alex O'Connor. I do think those kinds of arguments are pretty compelling, and they do have the implications you raised about accountability and whatnot. It's fascinating stuff.
This dude is a real champ. He’s dealt with a lot in his short years.
I'm diagnosed as a sociopath, this is the first person who accurately describes it and doesn't spread hate, well done!
Is there a time stamp you could drop where he gives said description? Always saw ASPD as very misunderstood
Which minute ?
14:40 perhaps here
Man, that hits hard at 49:40 Being the kid that has to comfort their parent, like all the time, that sucks man. And it's so hard to realize that something was wrong with your upbringing because your physical needs were taken care of.
edit: corrected the timestamp
I was a very stoic child, there were years where I didnt even laugh. I didnt know it was a result of childhood trauma. Dont be diagnosing yourself as a sociopath because you cant show emotions well. Especially if you are still young/a teenager.
Yeah, having little emotions is a small facet of ASPD.
But what does stoicism have to do with it if you can elaborate on that?
@@uber1ns4n1ty8 I think it was used as an adjective to define someone who doesn't show emotion over the philosophy of Stoicism.
Aspd dont really have anything to do with showing emotions, nor really having emotions at that; everyone has emotions, and emotions doesnt equal empathy. Aspd is about emotional disregard of others. For me, being antisocial means living by my own standards; not someone else's, not society's - my own. I do what i want however much i want when i want whatever i want and i dont care if its not socially pleasant or socially accepted or socially considered whatever; i live by my own accord because this is my life. Theres no room for other ppl, well because its my life and everything needs to be about me.
Yep! Same. Turns out I'm also autistic (what used to be called aspergers)
- : I play League of Legends.
- : Definitely a sociopath 🤣😂
at least a masochist
L9
@@UnordinaryCarl L9 TURBO SMURFING ON PISSLOW RANDOMS XDDDDDDDDDDDDD
@@Riley-ci8ey hhh wad 666
L9 win trading on noobies
@@UnordinaryCarl WAD TURBO SPACE GLIDING TO THE MOON
I am SO GLAD I found these videos. Doing this live is very brave. It's so informative and so absolutely incredible to witness.
The way Dr.K guides the conversation and gives his guests space to open up is great!
This gives room to get into some pretty deep topics.
Dr.K is part of my inspiration to help gamers get more relaxed and peaceful while gaming.
Do you have a channel? Can we contact you?
i love the way he gives him self time to think with a question if they mind if he just thinks for a second. makes the silence have a purpose and also show the other person hes thinking deeply while also letting people know not every conversation has to be fluid if it doesnt come naturally.
Almost like he does it professionally
@@pwners4u i know right
Wow I resonated with this so much, especially the part about being who you need to be for your mom/loved ones instead of just being yourself.
I don't have BPD (I suspect my mother does, tho) but man, that one minute between 1:18:45 and 1:20:00, where he talked abt people growing up in abusive households and having the emotional volume up to max -- that's basically my upbringing summed up, holy f. Thank you it felt nice hearing it explained like that and realizing that what I do/how I react makes sense T.T (i am working on lowering that volume tho but man its hard)
Wait why was this recommended to me? *Sweats nervously*
That's nothing to be ashamed of.
@u little shit not true
@u little shit not true
@u little shit not true
@u little shit They divert shame to different emotions/masks. The "characters" are funnels for bottled emotions.
They feel everything.
12:28 hahaha Dr k please. That was the most fakest yawn. I was playing a game when listening to this and the I had to go back after hearing you apologise for being tired to see if you yawned. I'm on to you and your empathy tests you cheeky boy.
edit- You even smirk to yourself after it god damnit aha. Then you get concerned that he's onto you, asking him why he's smiling. I love it.
why did he yawn
prolly he yawned by signalling something to his mods or something
@@oz7440 Yawning triggers an empathy response in most people. Sociopaths would not have this response due to a lack of empathy.
Dr K faked a yawn to see if the guest yawned in return. Call and response.
If I was to yawn in a group of my friends they become agitated because they know what's coming. Within the next 5 mins they will start yawning. I have one friend who gets comically frustrated by it.
Typing this out made me realise one of them never does it.. oh damn. Doesnt for sure mark a sociopath btw, but if you trigger a real yawn then it rules out that they are sociopaths if my understanding is correct.
I've not read about it in a while
@witchtoker I mean it is soft science... but so is psychology in general.
Like if you want to equate something like this which is fairly demonstrable, and has had studies and experimentation on it - crystal magic then that's your right.
I think it's a bit of a silly leap. Have you ever actually read about empathic responses, or subconscious mimicry?
Edit nvm. Just accidentally clicked your profile trying to see your pic. You blame feminism for incels existing. Why did I bother
Yes I saw that to, was just about to comment that! Glad to see I others caught that
This man is doing so much good. What an absolute legend.
A good Dr. K out of context clip:
“Are you a chameleon?”
You don't need context to immediately understand it's a metaphor.
or just cut this guy mid sentence talking and the Dr. K yawning cutting him off mid sentence
reynal_omnicide Hey, thanks you’re absolutely right. I’m just not smart enough for your anime character avatar level of super intelligence.
@@reynal_omnicide9217 yeah, but not everyone knows that 💡
@@jonl7855 I mean he is kinda right tho
We got baited
This helped me understand myself so much better. Despite not being able to genuinely feel for others, I try to do what society considers good and kind in attempt to be a good person.
Just out of curiosity, are you libertarian or right leaning? Either way, you should look into MDMA
@@calecurphey6135 a comment i wasnt expecting ;) but happy to see
This may be total bullshit, but I’ve heard/read that’s what most sociopaths do.
@@CrippledMerc that at least slightly changes the narrative normally pushed about sociopaths though. If they’re at least trying to do the right thing… then can you really call them evil unfeeling monsters?
@@BD-yl5mh > can you really call them evil unfeeling monsters?
It sounds safest to stick *only* to the unfeeling part, and qualify it with "towards others".
less than 3 minutes in and already he doesn't sound like a sociopath at all. He seems to mimic/mirror others not necessarily out of manipulation, but a high level of empathy mixed with some social ineptitude.
yeah. Sociopaths would never admit to being one.
@@mmmmmMuffinz I mean they could admit to being one and use it to garner sympathy. Also probably proud of it as well
I think i saw a sociopath once. She was maybe late 20's, white skin, black clothes and sort of had the same vibe as onision. Creepy and normal at the same time. These people give off a bipolar vibe. I dont even think they want to feel this way, its just that their internal functioning malfunctions.
@@skully2860 Damn that's an amazing internal funtioning analysis! Fuck seeing through clothes, I wanna do THAT!
@KellarJS "we"
I really relate to the emotional thing. For me my emotions can activate when I’m with someone but sometimes I just stay neutral, can’t force it.
Usually you have to force empathy towards a sociopathic person. It doesn't just happen when your around them. You have to talk sense into what ever they did was wrong
That was wonderful to witness. To see that relief wash over him was amazing. He's been brought up in such a challenging environment and had to deal with so much, poor kid. What a valuable service you did for him.
Like someone in another comment here, I had an ex who had BPD, and so did a really close friend, and ironically both of our exes made a really big deal out of claiming to be highly empathic - but looking back, it seems like it wasn't empathy (as in genuinely picking up on and feeling the emotions of another person) as it was projecting (feeling an emotion, themselves, and thinking it was coming from the other person, or thinking they're picking up on another person's emotions even if it was often an inaccurate interpretation) - I'm not sure if they had empathy but exaggerated the emotions of others by filtering through their own perspectives, or didn't have empathy, maybe some of both.
Either way though it was a lot to deal with, getting wrapped up in their emotional interpretations and all the chaos. Like you had to disconnect from your emotions to not set them off, or hearing them call themselves empathic while completely misinterpreting your real emotions, until you don't even know what you're feeling, yourself - on top of the whole trying to help and not having any impact thing. It's tough.
This guy was really brave for putting himself out there and being open about this, I relate to a lot of what he said and this video was really enlightening.
The two people i was super close to with BPD, my mom and one of my exes, also claimed to be highly empathetic and my mom really made my dad believe if was true. But yeah. They seemed to have worse empathy than an average person in the end. They were so caught up in their own emotions and in assigning ideas of what others must think and just feel not based in reality.
OH MY GOSH! This is amazing. I feel like I just took a year-long psychology course. Wonderful! Thank you so much for this. And thank you to the chameleon for allowing you to share this. Incredibly inciteful. ❤❤❤
The new manbun look fits destiny really well honestly but I'm not sold on the acsent yet
Destiny is decending, not ascending, get ur facts right🤣
@@xavierdoppler9997 mr. Important, you understood what i meant yet you felt the need to correct my spelling, get a life fr, u prolly one of those beta males too thin/too fat to go out there and behave like a real man.
@@xavierdoppler9997 you asked the question "what is acting like a real man?" that tells me everything i nees to know. #BETAALERT not gonna spend more time here now, got more important things to do unlike you sitting here correcting peoples spelling. Go get yourself laid, fucking looser 😂
@@spiritualviking8094 You are illiterate and insecure about it.
SpiritualViking you’ve said nothing meaningful, just puffed your chest. Cringe
Yo Dr. K we need more of this dawg you doing society a favor and it’s literally helping other ppl out
Funny that you refer to the guy who calls himself corgi as "dawg" = dog
@@MeetMeViceVersa Lmao.
You've read as "We need more of this dawg, you doing..." and what Jesus meant, I think it was "We need more of this, dawg, you're doing..."
If you believe that, then maybe this is also the field for you also, Dr K can't talk to everyone at once. :)
I like the way that Dr. K explains the relationship between environmental & neurobiological factors in development (& I assume he’d describe the relationship between the physical brain/body & the mind similarly); these things cannot be understood in isolation from each other- they’re halves of a single whole & their development is a constant interplay back & forth with dynamic feedback loops & interactions. To get at it from a slightly different angle, as Alan Watts said, you cannot have an organism without an environment (even if the organism was in the vacuum of space, that’s an environment), because what actually exists is a field of “organism-environment-“ the same way that if you look at a painting, you couldn’t have the painting without having both the foreground & the background (it would be something different than what it really is). Environmental factors & initial genetic factors interact in a dialectical process of change to develop the person who you become, & who you become shapes what kinds of environmental factors you’ll tend to gravitate towards, which influence who you become, & so on. Assuming humans really have agency, our material conditions shape the physical electro-chemical signals that mediate our mental state, & then the decisions we make based on that mental state & those starting conditions affect how we behave with our bodies (what we say & do, externalizations of our thoughts), which in turn change our external environment, which changes the electro-chemical signals we get from our sense receptors, which change our thoughts, which change our behaviors, & the cycle repeats. Now we can armchair philosophize about whether agency is real or illusory, but as far as I’m concerned there is no way to prove or disprove that definitively, so what I go off (as a consequentialist) are the predictable results of behaving as though free will is/might be real or behaving as though you assume it isn’t. Obviously, even if free will exists, it is limited (I can’t change the past, couldn’t choose where I was born as far as I know, can’t be on the other side of the planet 1 minute from now, etc.), but I think it is far more productive to believe we have agency to change things, rather than assuming we are just automata completely at the mercy of conditions which we cannot even slightly effect, because (whether in politics or personal life) the assumption that human beings don’t have agency only leads to a kind of defeatism where people believe there’s no point in trying to improve things, as well as a belief that concepts of freedom or the distribution of power don’t matter because all freedom is an illusion (as if there’s no experienced difference in living in a free, classless democracy versus living in some kind of tyrannical class system with a dictatorial state & corporations dominating your life). I think that, whether free will is real or illusory is kind of irrelevant & highly academic when it comes to the practicality of the issue... The fact is, we experience ourselves as making choices that have predictable consequences in what happens around & within us. If I decide to go drive downtown right now, things will be different than if I drive to another state or stay at home. If I eat one food it will have different consequences than if I eat another, or if I don’t eat at all. This is the subjective reality of every person, so as far as our lived experiences on Earth, the de facto reality is that we should live as if it’s true, whether or not from some higher cosmic perspective we would see it to be an illusion- or, as I would prefer to think of it, a superficiality which is real on the surface, but illusory on a deeper level.
I really feel for this guy, his parents im sure try their best and he clearly loves them, even if he doesnt realise it.
His sister is young and very troubled, but the repurcussions of emotional blackmail on him are having a very lasting affect
I also relate to feeling like a chameleon. I actually burned out when I lived with my now ex wife for a year because I had to constantly mask. I didn't want to hurt her or lose her, so I had to fake emotions and remind myself to pay attention to her even when I was bored and to sometimes put her needs above mine.
I had to put so much effort and concentration into how I acted and be alert constantly, I could never just relax and be myself. I can't live like that, but I also know it's not ethical to pursue honeymoon phases and trauma bonding and then dropping people when I get bored.
So I have just decided to distance myself from people and accept my vague feeling of unhappiness. My rehabilitation team is on my case about my lack of social life but without that dopamine high I get nothing from socializing, it's just a tedious chore.
In this interview you can see the path Dr. Is going and the way he is asking the questions is amazing, from a 3rd person view
So I'm at 12,5 mins in, and Dr K yawns. It feels a bit unnatural to me. Is he trying to see whether the 'interviewee' will yawn as well? As a means of assessing his empathy, I mean.
I think he is gauging the young man to see if his demeanor will change. iirc that is a simple way to gauge how narcissistic someone is on the spectrum or if he will, like you asked, show empathy. Also to see if the man would get offended because of his sense of high self importance?? Kind of like the "how dare you" be disinterested in me type attitude. This is just like the sneezing test imo.
This sounds jumbled, I'm tired.
Just my thinking on it. Let me know if anyone else has input and if that makes sense.
I thought that's why he did it too.
It doesn't seem like a real yawn to me either. It could've been an assessment of empathy or to see if the guest would mimic the yawn like a chameleon because he feels defensive. Dr. K mentioned he wanted to take the possible pressure off the guest by talking about himself before the yawn moment.
It was a test to see his reaction and I think he understood that he was being tested
I'm pretty sure he yawned because he started talking down a path that he didn't really have anything to say. If you notice he said he was going to now bring the attention to himself to take pressure off the kid so he can judge him too. Yet he never ended up mentioning anything about himself.
Do you enjoy dominating and controlling others? Do you strive to always have the upper hand? Do you manipulate others just for fun to see if you can? Do you like making people confused about what you want from them? Do you feel satisfaction when you make others cry? Do you feel the need to be the center of attention in group settings? Do you ignore other people's feelings in favor of pursuing your own goals? Do you treat people like tools to help you get what you want? Do you intentionally upset people and then go out of your way to make them feel better? Do you need to others to be dependent on you? Do you think the rules should not or do not apply to you? Do you break rules for fun because you can? Do you enjoy the challenge of not getting caught? Do you change who and how you are depending on who is around you? Have you been this way since you were a child? Do you enjoy bullying others? Do you commit crimes because you think you are entitled to?
These are way better questions to ask yourself than "do I have enough empathy to yawn when I see someone else yawn?"
Yes.
What if I answered ABSOLUTELY to many of these, but HELL NO to many of the others?
Sociopathy is also largely defined by compulsiveness, callousness, lack of guilt and remorse. But usually is accompanied by HIGH neuroticism, meaning frequently experiencing heightened states of anxiety, sadness, anger etc.
In this case, we see an individual who claims to be reserved, and very "emotionally neutral", in other words, shallow affect (not feeling much emotions). This is more fitting to the description of psychopathy type 1, rather than sociopathy. Also being able to manipulate others is linked to psychopathy for this reason (their emotions don't stand in their way, so they remain cold and calculated about social interactions). Nonetheless, psychopathy is likewise not a disorder that automatically means you are a bad person prone to hurt people or commit crimes. There are many psychopathic people out there who never hurt anyone and never break the law, because they are intelligent and conscientious enough to realize that living morally is the better way to live. And in this video we have a beautiful rundown of how psychopathy can be treated (at least in cases that are not very severe).
Thank you. I feel like the majority of the comments do not understand what sociopathy is, I'm quite confused reading through them before I've even watched the video.
i feel this guys frustration inside of how hes trying to explain this, this is how i feel its kinda like i have 2 sides which alternate. i can feel sensitive and feel emotions easily but then it can change at the click of the fingers. i can think of family and feel nothing. but if i did ever visit like at Christmas or whatever i mimic there emotions because i don't know how or what to feel if that makes sense
It makes sense man. Maybe you learned to split yourself up kind of. Look into disassociation and derealization. Your mind can learn to suppress itself. Some things you can do now to get in more touch with your emotions: recognize when you are feeling an emotions, tell yourself it’s okay and normal to feel this way, repeat.
@@lindboknifeandtool i definitely feel disassociated and detached from everyone and everything around me... feels kind of horrible and selfish when i sit and think of it but i then forget it easily and feel nothing soon after. it didnt take me long to realise this is what i was feeling the word derealisation hits different for me
I really enjoyed this one, it was pretty wholesome.
I'm an only child and as a kid I never really recieved strong emotions from my fathers side. What I found out with this video is that my coping mechanism with this lack of strong emotions was, to be around my friends houses frequently. I think I was a huge emotional "chameleon " untill i got 16 . So this was all a pretty smart, and apparently unconscious , way my brain fixed this lack by learning from other households ! Maybe that's the downside from having parents who are really engaged in meditation and have less emotional peaks . I'm sure personality plays a big part in that aswell, but just an interesting thought I had.
All fine tho, my parents did everything right they could have. :p
Would love to speak to you about spiritual paths and how self-reflection is a double edged sword sometimes.
That's one reason it is important to get socialised at a young age. Empathy doesn't need to come from your parents so long as they can prepare you for socialising by about 4. Naturally, you will probably be more emotionally reserved as you have seen that from your parents but they probably did a fine job and you are most likely mentally healthy, even if you were/are a social chameleon. I think we all are to some degree.
I'm sure you're doing great.
This was so touching to witness. Excellent session
12:17 - that yawn was definitely an empathy test
haha
A well studied sociopath would've noticed that and yawned, he's a noob sociopath :)
It looks like Dr. K was just changing gears in what he was gonna say
That response doesn't always work over video chat/internet and ect.
Oh damn nice catch
sad that dr.k's videos are the only meaningful conversation i hear in my life
Not sad. Enjoy that you live in the time where you can hear these conversations
It sucks that he is exploiting mental health for our entertainment and his financial gain, this is as bad as Dr. Phil.
@@asswhole4195 No. You cant be this dumb. I refuse to believe it
@@Ben-gt5px preparing myself to write r/woooosh when someone really miss the joke
@@asswhole4195 dr Phil does not go as deep as this guy. I'm new to his content but i think the purpose is to help people within the online gaming culture. You have to remember, these people are young, a lot of them are broke financially or maybe don't know how to get help. So maybe they see a video like this and think "hey, i feel the same. Maybe his advice will be helpful to me".
Those Discord notif sounds got me restless.
That was really great!
I don't know why but I always can relate to some parts of the upbringing of all those interviews... Like I could understand in almost every interview what the person feels like because I felt the same thing in some way at some point of my life.
But Dr. K also explained that once when he was telling what the point of this series is... But I never would have thought that I would get something out of this interview.
So for me it is that I thought I didn't have emotions for a long time after my father died and I thought I was emotionless and had no empathy... But years later I understood that I was a child and just didn't develop that skill until my early adulthood. I learned to have empathy but always felt like it was kind of wrong for me to have to learn it and not be able to intrinsically feel it. So that was also with my father when he was really sad because he was terminally sick and cried a lot I didn't feel anything in those times and didn't know how to empathize with him and help him. So I tried to just be there for him even though there was a wall. Several years later I sometimes can't stop crying while I'm grieving the loss of him. I know it is not the same at all but something just felt familiar about him not thinking that he is a bad person and not being able to empathize with someone. Also I am sometimes manipulative and say stuff just so that I get on the good side of people.... But I don't take advantage of it I just don't know how to act with people sometimes so I just act in a certain kind of way if that makes sense.
Also not having an identity for so long resonated with me. I didn't know who I was either for a long time because I so often acted the way my parents wanted me to be to feel loved so I pretended to like things like going to the opera or to the museum even though it was sooooooooo boring.
So all in all sorry for that long post... Probably nobody (except for someone who procrastinates or can't sleep or whatever) will ever read this post but I think it helped me to write that down. :)
Just wanted to mention that I am indeed procrastinating on getting sleep despite being tired. Either way, it was an interesting read - take care of yourself.
@@David-lm5bf you too. And get some sleep :) it's boring but healing 😅
Dr. K Do a segment about someone who has the opposite problem to the point of crying all the time and very emotional. 100,ooo thumbs up for Dr. K.
This helped me so much, thank u
What a pure ending of a beautiful conversation. Thank you so much.
The amount of ads on this video is turning me into the joker in real time.
😆😆😆😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
I can relate to his childhood. Neglectful and emotionally abusive. Parents divorced when I was eleven. If I didn't have a twin brother I imagine emotionally I would turned out like him. Man this one was a tough one for me.
Man, watching Dr k interview other people feels like a therapy in itself.
lol the yawn test at 12:30, smooth one doc :D
Shit yawn test. No one would follow that
Can someone explain this
@@oohflacco i guess he was seeing if he would yawn back
edit: i just googled it "yawn test sociopath" and it says "The less empathetic someone is, the less likely they are to yawn back. According to a new study, people with psychopathic traits are less likely to catch a yawn from the sleepy people around them because they tend to lack empathy and emotional connections with others."
12:29, damn, I thought Dr.K was bringing the 5Head move and yawning to see if Corgi would empathize with it and yawn too.
He was
He was. Its called the yawn test
This was really very cool. I must say once it got to the meditation part I had to turn the video off because it felt so private... Really cool stuff tho!
aoe healing the world
more precisely global healing
♥ big true ♥ his passion means a lot to me. I'm so glad there are mental health professionals out there that still care. Many of the ones I've seen.. they just do not care, and they make it obvious. This guy has a real passion for lifting others up. It's beautiful.
there are more people like the doc
doing aoe healing, or powerful single target heals, or HealingOverTime effects
unfortunately they are more or less rare
and either they are not known about,
or even some (like medical community) is trying to stop them
just like how Doc was strongly advised against doing this on twitch and that could have big issues
but guess what ? When someone truly cares, they take responsabillity and the risk, does not look for excuses
@@petergraywolf5765 all I get from my doctors and psychotherapist is DamageOverTime
@@CreativePublisher sorry to hear
and no i didnt spoke about doctors
i ment people like this Doc, who are truly able ot help people
they either studied philosophy, or are self taught in philosophy, psychology and thru their own life
unfortunately most psychologist and psychiatrist should loose their job , for how they do more damage than help
I think the first guy at some point during the recent years of his life has been arguing alot with someone close to him that is actually manipulative and called him a sociopath, hence made him insecure of his identity, wild guess 🤷🏻♂️ but based on what happened to myself being in a bad relationship. Someone who make you start thinking of yourself negatively in regards to your true identity is most likely (not all cases) a manipulative person you should stay away from
Damn he’s so honest 😅 I wish more ppl were like that ( the interviewee)
C V have you watched at least half of the interview? Rofl
This was awesome! I hope that this helps him to love himself and learn to know himself.
Always love watching these till the end
Despite all the joke “destiny” jokes this was really an amazing video and great interview
Learning about his roots ahd undercovering the truth helped me learn a lot about myself
FUCNKIN LOOOOVE THIS SHIT MANN
@Poff Nada whats the matter?
"you guys judge the person that you are today without giving enough credit to what made you that way"
This line really got me, thanks Doc!
Hey, Dr. K you will probably never see this comment but I wanted to say I'm grateful that you've posted this video. In the 20 years of my pitiful existence, I feel as though this is the first time I've ever made real progress. Thank you.
I know how you feel. This video hit really really close to home and the ending actually helped so much, I didn't feel my self cry in years but the ending just dug up something.
There is still hope for us
17:40 borderline is often from trauma in childhood. chances are that he also was traumatized in his childhood, just like his sister. He's just reacting to it differently. Also he does say he changes how he is a lot depending on who he is with, which is super borderline. Some people don't think about it but you can have comorbidity between these and you can be in control of yourself even if you have said things.
edit 10 mins later: he seems to have empathy for his parents being stressed. Having a traumatic childhood can make you appear numb, so much so that you think you are sociopathic. But it's a response to trauma at childhood. That's how he found to cope and that's how he's got his shit together somewhat when his sister is a mess going through similar thing.
Thanks dr K. I’ve always felt like a shitty person for not having high empathy
Speaking of crying in movies... I literally cry at every sad scene. And that's at the same time that my cynical mind is like "They'd never hug like that!!!".
It's easy to call someone a sociopath, especially ourselves. The young man has guts to expose himself like this.
I think we all should question ourselves like this. We may find we aren't as evil as we think, and it'll be easier to identify those that truly are the dark influences on our lives
i really hate that im empathetic, and at some point in my life, i actually hated people around me bcoz of how empathetic i was. it felt like every time they shared their emotions with me, i was always compelled to help them as if my own emotions were forcing me against my will. the older i grew, i started to realize how to handle that part of myself and finally felt a little better being around ppl.
"The fake is of far greater value. In its deliberate attempt to be real, it's more real than the real thing." - Daishu Kaiki
Can you tell me where you found this quote? I'd like to read more. It has a huge personal significance.
@@billsmith361 it’s a quote from deishu kaiki from the monogatari series of anime
i disagree, its definitely not an attempt to be real, and its not any more real than the real thing, tho i do agree that it can at times definitely be of greater value but only when you do it with good intentions, the intentions to help the other, however because "good intentions", and "help" are so subjective at times its of lesser value
@@zefrin7888 what are u disagreeing with, the main comments’ just a quote but u started talking about the video or something.
@@luvnight7274 im talking about the quote im sorry u couldn't undertsand, you could try rereading it until you understand if you wish to
I revisit this video often because despite loving my family, they are imperfect. I am on the journey of self help and that includes bringing up those around me. I am empathetic to my family’s problems despite wanting to criticize and lash out at them. This often leaves me pretty drained holding in my true opinions for fear of furthering unnecessary explosive episodes. I ultimately have little room for any extra social interaction that isn’t included in my close circle
Wow. So I think that I don't share my emotions because that's what my dad didn't do when my mom died when I was 11. Like he didn't cry, and so I saw that and mirrored it and didn't cry either. Even a classmate of mine asked me why I hadn't cried about it, one day in class. I even wrote about my Dad not showing emotion in my college entry paper, as a strength (i do feel its an unknown bad, i dont blame him at all). God, from 11 on I have been subconciously taught to be reserved, and with such a trauma like losing my Mom I probably used all of the emotional flow that comes with that towards that mirrored idea of reservation. I remeber being outgoing before, and after it was reserved. That year was the first year I got talking to this girl, and then I get rejected and what do you know I never try to get talking with another girl again. This trauma was truly important and my mirrored responses to it make it feel today as something that probably doesnt cause my depression/anxiety.
Never thought about this before today, im very thankful for this video. I'm going to call my therapists office and make the appointment i have been procrastinating because i feel like i have something to really dive into now.
How did you go?
the moment he'd spoken about him maybe being a sociopath, i was like "what a cool guy, damn it! he gives a shit, and he ain't afraid to dig into all that publicly, so that others could also benefit from the exploration". and then when he spoke about his sister, his parents and girlfriend - damn it! it's like the exact opposite of being an asshole, if that question was still there. i hope you're doing great, mate. and if not, you will. all the best to you and your folks, and thanks for the talk!
More of using the sociopath as a coping mechanism, hiding behind it so it can deflect reality and emotions
You just described my childhood and my mom! This was helpful!
I like how he yawned in the beginning of explaining empathy to test his reaction
100 thumbs up!
I can relate a lot with him. I always had that feeling I was emotionally void but eventually I learned that I was safe guarding myself. Luckily I learned it's more beneficial to be vulnerable and I'm not weak enough to justify being so safe.
Thank you for the video! All of you friends are super awesome! Oh, moments with this video are so sad.
1:28 That was absolutely beautiful. This guy is really sweet. I'm so fascinated by the complexity of brain development. I need to learn more !
that meditation was everything, man
haha i just got to that part as i read this comment
edit: dayum
get my man ice poseidon on here...don't think hes got problems like he used to but still an episode I hope to see some day
ice definitely still has problems in which he scapegoats OTHER PPL and takes no personal responsibility
ice needs this shit so bad
dr. k would probably get swatted in minutes
@Belly Buttonboy he could do it off stream and just upload it on youtube
JanJanNik lool
Hey young man, you're YOUNG. It's natural to pull away emotionally as a teenager and your family has had loads to deal with. Hugs to you.
I went through something similar in my life and have felt the same way as this kid. I had so many breakthroughs with this video. I really appreciate it. (Disclaimer this video is not medical advice =)
Really love watching this. I relate super hard. So grateful to have found this channel.
Did Dr. K just use the yawn trick to see if he would yawn back so he could draw a connection between yawn responding and empathy? Nice move dude. Nice.
Great, now I've cried some for at least two Dr K talks. I guess I'll just cry a bit at all of them from now on.
Which was the other one you cried at?
Oof I can relate so much to the `his mom is a bigger teenager than he was at 16` thing... I hate that it is that way and I want to do my best so that my future children won´t have to go trough the shit I or he or anyone with bad parents did.
There is something called Alexithymia which makes you blind to your own emotions and people with Autism sometimes have it, you do feel emotions but can't really distinguish if you are feeling sad or angry etc and so the person's lack of awareness of his/her own emotions can possibly be perceived to the person himself/herself that there are no emotions that they can feel and perhaps they start thinking they may be a bad person. This guy may actually have this, what is the most important thing is that he helps others and trying to be a good person
I am surprised the topic of autism spectrum disorder didn't come up. Flat affect, i.e not reflecting how you feel on the inside or coming across as cold because you do not understand your emotions and consequently do not express them, is very linked with autism, and I thought I had antisocial personality disorder traits and narcissistic traits for years until I got diagnosed with autism and ADHD. Cognitive empathy and "theory of mind" are reduced while affective/emotional empathy is often elevated when the autistic person understands the emotion and feels safe. Autistic people are sometimes more vulnerable to traumatic experiences due to naivety and heightened sensitivity, where PTSD can result in numbness and anger problems.
Thank you Dr k and crew you have really helped me, better understand myself and give me good building blocks to change my life.
Putting on a mask can be so habitual that mask becomes you. Am I mimicking emotion, or is this actually what real emotion is? Sometimes the line gets blurred, and there is no baseline experience for which to judge yourself.
Dr. K is so fucking good at verbalizing what he's trying to do in the conversation and his meta-analysis of how the convo is going
He started by saying he might be a sociopath, but as soon as he said "i feel sad when others are sad around me" i knew we had another Sky Williams case and having not watched the whole video yet, I am guessing that he is actually VERY empathetic but something taught him to not feel his own emotions probably from some kind of trauma
Sociopathic behaviour is taught, psychopathic is genetic. Sociopathic tendencies could exist without someone being a full-blown sociopath. Haven’t watched yet tho
Pepega Clap
he then went on to explain that he doesn't "feel" sad he just "acts" sad to mirror those around him, its called social chameleonism and sociopaths are really good at it
Yugi Muto yupyup, sounds about right
@@HappyDragneels_page interesting
He seems like a nice sweet person who is stuck in a bad situation. Bad situations will change your outcome both psychically and mentally.
@ capitalism?
His mum and dad have bipolar and his sister has bpd..... he's surrounded by, to put it neutrally, super-feelers. These people may have told him that he's a sociopath for being neutral often in his mood state....which is normal. I have bipolar and when I got medicated I got neutral and I recognised that most people were pretty neutral and that's the healthy state. Before that because I often felt hypomanic or depressed and I'm a deep feeling person with overpowered empathy I often felt like normal people around me were sociopaths. When I was very young like under 21 I thought that I was ok and the world was messed up, which indicates I had very low insight. Once I was somewhere around 23 I understood it was me with the problem but my ego still wanted to defend me for a long time, because it's depressing and I didn't get proper help until I was 34, and I'm pretty great now with meds and self knowledge. I wonder if having parents and a sibling like that has suggested to him that normal functioning was disordered. I think he seems like a great guy who has few actual problems besides those around him.
You might want to look up what sociopathy is, because what you describe doesn't fit the term at all :) It's nothing like being emotionally neutral, it's actually the emotional type of antisocial personality disorder.
No it’s not what medical book r u reading
My sister has borderline personality and I was lucky enough to leave the house and study abroad in another country. For a long time I asked myself why I couldn’t feel anything, no emotions and I now understand… I used it to protect myself. Nothing has changed, my parents’s lives has not changed, my sister still controlling them and nothing will change, the first one that has to try to break the cycle is my mother and she is not willing to do that to keep “peace” in the house. Glad I left the house 20 years ago. Still wish different were different
lol i thought it was with destiny
The title wasn't: Psychiatrist Breaks Down...a Cuck?
@@krollic I don't know much about Destiny outside of the one with Dr. K. What makes him a sociopath/cuck?
@@krollic why are you like this?
lol i thought it was your mom
grichie he was defending his stance on free speech. You can watch a breakdown of the whole N word arch on RUclips.