Thank you for having us and for the opportunity to spread awareness on tech & porn addiction, parenting, and so much more. Hope y'all enjoy the talk too! 💜
I have a 19 year old son who loves to game. He also loves You Tube. When I found a Dr. K video and shared it with him, he was actually happy because he had found Dr.K first. Knowing that my son likes watching his videos is comforting to know. It lead to him deleting Tik Tok. Our whole house has ADHD. I took them to “yoga calm” classes and classes to be “a Jedi master” because I understood the importance of learning to self regulate. What this episode had made me realize, is that we may think we are self regulating when we are actually self numbing. I’m guessing why our diagnosis is more inattentive. What feels like self regulation is actually disassociating. I don’t think that’s the case all of the time. But I know for myself, I used podcasts and articles to self regulate often.
Dr K helped me realize that because I was raised by very critical parents, I struggle with feeling much of a sense of accomplishment or pride in myself--I have trouble living for myself because I so thoroughly lived for my parents expectations during my entire childhood and into adulthood. Even now that my parents have no power in my life, I still kind of create imaginary authoritarians in my head unconsciously that attempt to tell me what I should do. So for example, any time I think of a fun thing to do, that part of me tells me I should do something responsible instead. But because I don't want to do the responsible thing, many times I will just end up binging TV, or smoking weed, or just anything except the fun thing OR the responsible thing, so it's hard for me to enjoy life. I also downplay my accomplishments. I have two degrees, and I simply cannot truly feel proud of that no matter what I do. Just understanding this helped my mental health because I am slowly working toward what I actually want and not what I think I should do. And more importantly I've begun to stop the destructive behaviors I used as a way to run from those imaginary expectations.
Dr K helped me in that area too. Especially after wathing his video about Dysthymia, where the depressive usually 100% depends their sense of purpose to a dominant other - to make up for the lack of a sense of self.
HOLY. COW. 😲🤯😳 Same here!! i struggle with not having any hobbies or anything cuz anytime i want to do something just for fun, i subconsciously tell myself that its a waste of time if its not providing me a living or being productive in a realistic/practical sense lol so i then dont do anything 😢
I can relate to this so deeply. Even as an adult, my parents still criticize me whenever I’m simply trying to enjoy time with my friends. Growing up, I rarely brought friends over because my parents would impose their high standards on them too, which always left me feeling embarrassed. This constant judgment has made me hesitant about letting loose or having fun, even now. I’m currently considering moving overseas for work, but before fully committing to the job offer, I’ve decided to spend a month there first to get a feel for the place. I’ve been over-preparing, telling myself that this trip is strictly for research, not for leisure. I kept convincing myself that I’m going there to plan a better life, to simulate the kind of routine I want to have when I eventually move. When I shared this with my psychiatrist, she asked me why I was making it so difficult for myself. She gently reminded me that it’s okay to just enjoy the experience. At that moment, I broke down in tears. It felt like, for the first time, someone was giving me permission to just live and not to always be productive or focused on a goal. Years of growing up with such feelings have left a deep imprint on me. Actually, I’m not trying to impress my parents anymore, but unconsciously, I think I still am. I have to keep reminding myself that this journey is for me-for my happiness, for my mental well-being. I need to let go of the urge to prove anything to my parents or anyone else. I’m learning, slowly, to live for myself.
This guy is amazing. I honestly can’t believe how much knowledge he spits out so quickly, knowing there was so much more y’all didn’t even get to talk with him about. WOW! 😲
I think we need a whole other episode with Dr. K on parenting. Also, I feel your pain on parenting and it’s nice to hear others who are trying to figure it all out. One tip, talking to kids while you are in the car or engaged in doing something (like taking leaves or yard work or cooking) I’ve found is the best way to get them to talk - they no like the face to face sit down staring at each other talking, hope this helps!Great episode, thank you.
Nah, man! All us parents are struggling. But if we were to all band together, we could do a better job. But society has become so individualistic that I can't imagine things will get better....
I have never clicked “watch later” faster in my life-gonna listen to this during my downtime at work today! I’m so excited to see this host/guest combo!
@@jonathancohen4774thank you for bringing Dr. K on as a guest, this episode was everything I hoped it would be! Y’all just keep getting better with your questions and talking points. I always love it when the conversations touch on the intersection of conventional wisdom of what it means to live a good life and the unique challenges posed to human society in the face of modern technology-imo, it’s our new frontier. Thank you for this amazing content!
43:09 I didn't believe him from what I heard in the intro, but looking back at my life it actually makes perfect sense. Everything that is my identity, my purpose, that I actually care for, _ARE_ emotional experiences! Everything can be traced back to a few fundamental emotional experiences what explain why it is important to me, why it is a part of my identity, why it is my purpose and how it drives me; and wouldn't you know, it all goes back to my childhood and my early adulthood. Hot damn. Kind of freaky how well that explains everything... 44:20 I mean, why would you care for (or see as a purpose) something that you can't emotionally connect to? 47:24 Society has taken away those achievements in real life, so it's no wonder so many people gravitate to games in order to have _ANY_ sense of achievement, challenge, and exertion in their lives! 1:02:48 One thing that I've always reacted to is how people keep talking about incels as if that was a bad thing, and there are plenty of women who are incel as well. The terms tends to get politicised, which is unfortunate. I prefer to talk about incel (involuntary), discel (disillusioned), toxcel (toxic), radcel (radicalised), and idcel (ideological). They are all different concepts, in a logical progression from harmless and innocent to outright dangerous.
Just a note here Dr. Bialik, I had a hard time listening to you laugh at some or make jokes of seemingly sensitive for others issues or life experience. I promise you, as a 30M that when my parents did that to me, “natural reaction” or not, it meant I was never being open with them again, or at the very least being extremely extremely selective. I hope you read this not thinking “if I did that to my kids I’m a terrible parent” but as a new way you can look to improve at being open and a safe place for your kids in the future. Great podcast, always love Dr K and I look forward to more conversations between you and hopefully a new podcast I add to my watch lists! Best wishes
With regards to gaming being a very addictive stimulation: I already experienced that as a kid in the late 80's/early 90's. Whenever me and a new friend started going down the "We're bored. Let's play computer games"-road, that became the go-to solution 90% of the time. It's just such an easy source of entertainment. Perhaps you could even say that it dampens anxiety because it occupies the focus, rather than other activities that would require you to activate your social skills (or in my case, when I started to develop social anxiety in those years, at least perceived, a lack of them).
I had to come and tell you this, last night I had my daughters (age 9) parents evening at school, and the teacher said Indie keeps singing about a breakdown and she asked my daughter to sing it to me, it was only the theme tune to your podcast 😂 she's been singing it in lessons and she has taught it to her friends too, I literally peed myself I ended up telling her teacher all about it 😊 We listen to your podcast on the drive to school and back. Lots of love from the UK 🇬🇧
I am glad that Dr K said that most people want to get healthier and don't want a pill to solve their problems. Nobody wants to cut their life short.....however work and family life can make sensible interventions difficult.
Sure, but most people have 30 mins a day to exercise or go on a walk tbh! They might not be able to at certain times, but saying they dont even have 30 mins to do something healthy when they use their phone for 4-5 hours a day is crazy
@@kushalramakanth7922Well most of us truly don't have that 30 min available because we don't see or notice the hours on our phone. Or the hours on the phone are being stolen from sleep or time we're at work and supposed to be working and wouldn't be allowed to visibly leave to take a walk. Or we multi-task with the phone and cooking or cleaning. Every single human being these days doesn't have time twiddling their thumbs that they're hoping to fill. The question shouldn't be "do you have time to exercise" but rather "is anything you do during your day something you could reasonably replace with exercise" and then the insight about their phone use might arise.
i was just listening to Dr. Kanojia on Steven Bartlett podcast, he's such an interesting and cool guest👏👏 Everything he says makes so much sense and leaves you thinking in the really important things in life 😮
I feel called out after watching this podcast. Feeling numbness, not depressed. I have for the past two to three months been undergoing a full psych eval to help me find out exactly what's wrong with me and help direct me to get better. I don't want a pharmacology treatment, I want a healthy resolution.
It is night, I am in bed and as much as I wanted to continue watching, I will go to sleep and continue tomorrow. Thank you for your help, Dr. K. Good night, everyone.
I went to the gym yesterday and spent an hour brisk walking on the treadmil while I was moving my arms and hands the craziest ways possible. On top of that I listened to a complex podcast on 1.3 speed, there was the gym music on the background. After that I could FINALLY get to a deep sleep after months of insomnia and very light sleep. TY❤
as a boy, my mum even invalidate me being sick, like physically sick, vomiting didn't convince her and studying was the only other thing i was allowed to do other than going to school, and let alone the acknowledgement of a whole host of other mental illnesses i was denied from
It’s interesting to me how much this is framed through the lens of addiction, when it’s things I entirely relate to, but personally describe as apathy. It doesn’t feel like I’m compelled to do these escapist activities, but rather that I’m not compelled to push myself, find myself, or actually exist.
Thank you so much for this episode! I have a kid with ADHD who responds with “I don’t know” and Dr K has given me a script I can practise to take the conversation further and think deeper - “Sometimes I don’t know means I’m afraid of the answer. Do you think that could be the case?”
I'm 34 years old, i too have ADHD if that's relevant, and in HealthyGamerGG's coaching program right now. I say "I don't know" so instinctively as a kneejerk response to so many of these motivational interviewing questions about how this or that makes me feel. It's automatic and it's useful that they're pushing past that strong defense of mine. It's useful they're finding ways to tell me i need to try to think through what it might be even if I'm not sure and it's okay to be wrong and it might require extra time thinking about it to really get to any emotions but take the extra minute and really... try. I'm shocked how many emotions they're uncovering especially since I've already been in therapy for years now and I'm not crying in therapy these days - but my therapist isn't doing motivational interviewing on me.
I started my mental health journey a bit over 3 years ago and this channel and Dr. K's have been my favorites. This episode is a gift, thank you ❤! I actually really like that you covered so much ground. One challenge I've encountered is that I've learned so much that it can be hard to maintain all that knowledge. This seems like an episode I'll return to to refresh and motivate me. I also really liked the idea of spirituality/meditation as something that moves you from 0 to 100. That distinction from medicine is not one that I've heard before.
With regards to "quick fix" vs. a thing like exercise, I personally got a breakthrough with an experiential approach, when I felt like crap both physically and mentally, but when I went on small walks, sometimes through feeling poorly physically, I would feel way better afterwards. It turned out that me feeling poorly, very often, was a side effect of diabetes (2) or at least being in the danger zone of getting it. My brain connecting physical exercise with feeling physically and mentally better was so important, since my self discipline is generally pretty crap. I'm still battling with it though, since the longer I feel fairly alright physically, the more I'm coming up with excuses of skipping a day, more than I usually do. Like my brain is testing what the minimum amount of effort is that I can do to stave off diabetes symptoms. At least I can say that I've been doing this exercise regularly for about 3 years now, doing longer and longer distances, so that's a reluctant pat on the back for this self-critical person.
i would LOVE to hear specifically how the kids react to being introduced to Dr. K by their parents! Let us know! I'm a strange middle aged fan of his. He talks their language.
I was surprised that Dr. Mayim Bialik, (whose area of study I am not familiar with, but I thought has a good understanding of psychology), is surprised by a lot of Dr.K's perspective. I guess Dr.K is really an outlier in his area. Maybe I am just used to it because I consumed a lot of his content. Regardless, it was very cool to see Dr. Bialik who I liked very much on TV, having a great conversation with Dr. K! I wish to see more collaborations in the future!
🤩 😅 I am soooo excited to see my 2 most favorite mental health pods coming together. You guys could’ve gone on for days. Thank you all so much for bringing all this crucial information to the public. My family and friends are in a whirlwind of different mental issues, it’s so overwhelming and listening to you guys has really helped me put the pieces together and understand our different perspectives and challenges. ❤❤❤
This was such a great conversation, he's so knowledgable. And both of the hosts with such great questions and a huge sense of humanity. I almost felt like I was there, it's so weird to find a ''space'' online that doesn't feel like a fabricated and alien place. This was truly so amazing, great job to everyone and hope he comes back because I feel like he has so much to share to everyone.
@@jonathancohen4774 it felt like her jokes were done in bad faith, this is the first time i listen to this podcast so idk if she jokes like that about all the other topics/guests.
Great conversation, i enjoyed the questions asked of Dr K. This is the first episode I've seen of your channel. I'm not going to fault you guys for taking sponsors, everyone should get paid. However the frequency of ads during the conversation was distracting.
The idea of people killing themselves after so much rejection is one of the saddest things I can think of. Could part of what exacerbates it be that there are just so many people now? If there were fewer people in the world, would we care about each other, strangers included, enough not to be so willing to reject one another?
I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I looked at population growth recently and how it has really exploded- and how I have felt that even through my lifetime. It's crazy. I definitely think the sheer number of people in certain areas, the swipe right/left culture, ghosting culture, have made people feel less connected and more alone and definitely contributed to these feelings.
No, it's systematic and societal forces that influence our behavior that is driving loneliness and inability to connect with others. In capitalist societies in which people/corporations are competing for dollars, they will sell you solutions or coping mechanism...distractions...new addictions so you can avoid your problems such as a lack of connection with others. Most of work we do is unfulfilling and lacks purpose other than to make others wealthy. From wiki, "Karl Marx's theory of alienation describes the estrangement of people from aspects of their human nature as a consequence of the division of labour and living in a society of stratified social classes. The alienation from the self is a consequence of being a mechanistic part of a social class, the condition of which estranges a person from their humanity." More people around us doesn't make us lonely. It's the capitalist ultra-consumerism driven society that most of us live under that leads to people's inadequacy of building strong relationships and being able to connect with others. The businessman sells us an addiction that we use to escape...and through that addiction...we lose ourselves...we lose or never build an identity...we lack purpose...and we are not using and growing our "emotional muscles" to build strong and healthy relationships with others because we live far more in the digital world than the real world. And when we are out in the real world...commuting...shopping...We are consumed by our devices even then. Go people watch and observe how often folks are on their phones. On the subway...in a coffee shop...walking across the street...PHONES!
It's the fact that people have drank deep of the cup that they can have their perfect person and to never settle for anything less. Then, their standards for a partner became unrealistic, so Chad and Tyrone get to eat and run, and they rest of society just accepts that it's already over.
to mayim and johnathon. this was a very interesting episode. and i heard though two of you struggling with your kids in this situation. i have one of those. honestly it is true . conversations no judgments is of utmost importance. a real curiosity and interest and acceptance brings you into a trusted space. however this very slow and yes very frustrating. this psychiatrist is correct i believe in that they do want more but have many fears about the world. it’s a new phenomenon and hard to understand and also just sad that they’re lives have been changed by screens in this way. but this is what we have and some of it is cool. they do have friendships. and hopefully one day it will grow to include more of what we experience. sometimes just adding in one thing is adding it in. like something physical. sometimes just a conversation and that connection is something.
Fabulous as usual. I hope to see another episode with Dr. K. Social media has changed our society. I so grateful I’m not attached to my phone anymore. Covid put me in that loop. Meditation is a necessity for me. PTSD is a beast without that tool. Grateful for your podcast and the knowledge
Such interesting topics! I do hope to listen to this video at some point. Serious health problems in my family prevent this to happen for the moment. But if necessary I will take hours off my sleep..Luckily I’m subscribed, so I’ll have this episode always available.
Great conversation - these subjects need exposure - I will run these modalities in a daily basis - awareness is power - Super episode Mayim and Jonathan ❤
That was a great talk! Thank you you two. I am glad I found this channel. Just a thought from my side - it may help to tell a teen how the mechanics of a game works - how the game tries to keep their attention and manipulate them to give their spare money to the game. No teenager really wants to manipulated - they are beautiful rebellious creatures ☺
Finally got to watch this episode❤️. Thank you for breaking down this topic! This episode is really interesting and I learned so much from this conversation. Love your podcast🧠
Excellent podcast. Very enlightening. I remember my girls playing video games every day together. And they got so heavily involved in sports, more than one, and they haven't touched a video game in years.
27:00 - I've always heard that one of the core pillars of addiction is the compulsion, like you mention. It's the almost automatic response to reach for that dopamine hit during any "down" feeling, including boredom. The problem with tech is it's so ingrained in modern life, you have plenty of excuses for looking at your phone. But when you don't even consciously realize you pick up your phone because there was a 5sec lull in your life because it's become such automatic response. And of course, the real definition of addiction aims at the large "it's negatively impacting aspects of your life" compulsion, but I'd argue that any compulsive behavior to avoid-sad or chase-happy wears "grooves" in the emotional and satisfaction part of your brain, slowly eroding the connection to the world and people around you that Dr. K mentions.
This is a really important topic, and is coververed perfectly, everyone is going to have problems unique to them, but if you can view yourself in the same manner you view others, it can really shift your perspective on where you need to go next; self reflection is important for anybody, especially those in the scientific field.
I'm SO happy this is 2 and a half hours long, huge huge fan of Dr. K. And Mayim! I enjoy you everywhere I see you. Great actress and also well-educated/curious! Also, BetterHelp is a questionable service at best. I think yall should do some deep diving and really look into why people see them as harmful. Then make your own decision obviously :D much love
i liked the smalls cat food ad. maybe festus needs to branch out! ^_^ and i liked that dr kanojia is a gamer, despite the expertise/need for balance :) i loved his focus on meditation very useful!
Yesterday I found out you'll reunite with Bernadette (Melissa Rauch) on Night Court. I'm pretty sure it will be nice to see both of you again. You're some of my favorite actresses ever
I'm a huge fan of your podcast and listen on my Apple podcast platform. Couldn't comment there but I wanted to drop you guys a note, because if you only listen and don't watch this one, I think your guest came across as angry and "Shamy". But if you watch it, you get a completely different vibe.
Antibiotics are a medical marvel, but now they are entirely overprescribed for everything. If 80% of our immune system lies in the gut, let’s stop glorifying antibiotics unless there is a severe infection. The body is equipped to overcome mild infections when it’s metabolically healthy. We’ve also learned a thing or too about hygiene since the time period you mentioned.
Thank you for having us and for the opportunity to spread awareness on tech & porn addiction, parenting, and so much more. Hope y'all enjoy the talk too! 💜
I have a 19 year old son who loves to game. He also loves You Tube. When I found a Dr. K video and shared it with him, he was actually happy because he had found Dr.K first.
Knowing that my son likes watching his videos is comforting to know. It lead to him deleting Tik Tok.
Our whole house has ADHD. I took them to “yoga calm” classes and classes to be “a Jedi master” because I understood the importance of learning to self regulate.
What this episode had made me realize, is that we may think we are self regulating when we are actually self numbing. I’m guessing why our diagnosis is more inattentive. What feels like self regulation is actually disassociating. I don’t think that’s the case all of the time. But I know for myself, I used podcasts and articles to self regulate often.
Dr K helped me realize that because I was raised by very critical parents, I struggle with feeling much of a sense of accomplishment or pride in myself--I have trouble living for myself because I so thoroughly lived for my parents expectations during my entire childhood and into adulthood. Even now that my parents have no power in my life, I still kind of create imaginary authoritarians in my head unconsciously that attempt to tell me what I should do. So for example, any time I think of a fun thing to do, that part of me tells me I should do something responsible instead. But because I don't want to do the responsible thing, many times I will just end up binging TV, or smoking weed, or just anything except the fun thing OR the responsible thing, so it's hard for me to enjoy life. I also downplay my accomplishments. I have two degrees, and I simply cannot truly feel proud of that no matter what I do.
Just understanding this helped my mental health because I am slowly working toward what I actually want and not what I think I should do. And more importantly I've begun to stop the destructive behaviors I used as a way to run from those imaginary expectations.
This is fascinating. Thank you so much for sharing!! 🧠🫶
Dr K helped me in that area too. Especially after wathing his video about Dysthymia, where the depressive usually 100% depends their sense of purpose to a dominant other - to make up for the lack of a sense of self.
HOLY. COW. 😲🤯😳 Same here!! i struggle with not having any hobbies or anything cuz anytime i want to do something just for fun, i subconsciously tell myself that its a waste of time if its not providing me a living or being productive in a realistic/practical sense lol so i then dont do anything 😢
Bruh, why am I crying right now
I can relate to this so deeply. Even as an adult, my parents still criticize me whenever I’m simply trying to enjoy time with my friends. Growing up, I rarely brought friends over because my parents would impose their high standards on them too, which always left me feeling embarrassed. This constant judgment has made me hesitant about letting loose or having fun, even now.
I’m currently considering moving overseas for work, but before fully committing to the job offer, I’ve decided to spend a month there first to get a feel for the place. I’ve been over-preparing, telling myself that this trip is strictly for research, not for leisure. I kept convincing myself that I’m going there to plan a better life, to simulate the kind of routine I want to have when I eventually move.
When I shared this with my psychiatrist, she asked me why I was making it so difficult for myself. She gently reminded me that it’s okay to just enjoy the experience. At that moment, I broke down in tears. It felt like, for the first time, someone was giving me permission to just live and not to always be productive or focused on a goal.
Years of growing up with such feelings have left a deep imprint on me. Actually, I’m not trying to impress my parents anymore, but unconsciously, I think I still am. I have to keep reminding myself that this journey is for me-for my happiness, for my mental well-being. I need to let go of the urge to prove anything to my parents or anyone else. I’m learning, slowly, to live for myself.
This guy is amazing. I honestly can’t believe how much knowledge he spits out so quickly, knowing there was so much more y’all didn’t even get to talk with him about. WOW! 😲
There’s so much to cover!
you can also watch his stream! I've been watching his stream for ages and learnt so much.
I think we need a whole other episode with Dr. K on parenting. Also, I feel your pain on parenting and it’s nice to hear others who are trying to figure it all out. One tip, talking to kids while you are in the car or engaged in doing something (like taking leaves or yard work or cooking) I’ve found is the best way to get them to talk - they no like the face to face sit down staring at each other talking, hope this helps!Great episode, thank you.
Woah! These two together on a podcast AND I’m early! What a treat!!!! ❤
*three, sorry Jonathan
Me too, I couldn’t believe my eyes! These 2 are amazing.
So many intros, ads and intros to ads it’s driving me up the fucking wall man
cmon now, don’t you need your prenatal vitamins with delayed release capsules?!?!
sponsorblock, use it as it won't last much longer
Literally I just broke out sobbing when he said "If you are struggling, you are not a terrible parent." Really? mind blown...
Nah, man! All us parents are struggling. But if we were to all band together, we could do a better job. But society has become so individualistic that I can't imagine things will get better....
I have never clicked “watch later” faster in my life-gonna listen to this during my downtime at work today! I’m so excited to see this host/guest combo!
Let us know what you think!
@@jonathancohen4774thank you for bringing Dr. K on as a guest, this episode was everything I hoped it would be!
Y’all just keep getting better with your questions and talking points. I always love it when the conversations touch on the intersection of conventional wisdom of what it means to live a good life and the unique challenges posed to human society in the face of modern technology-imo, it’s our new frontier. Thank you for this amazing content!
I love how the Docc explained the satisfaction of applications with videogames App designers really do get this
What????
I can’t believe Dr. K is here? 🥰
2hr+ 😂
That Aloc’s style. 👌
Powerful ep!
43:09 I didn't believe him from what I heard in the intro, but looking back at my life it actually makes perfect sense. Everything that is my identity, my purpose, that I actually care for, _ARE_ emotional experiences! Everything can be traced back to a few fundamental emotional experiences what explain why it is important to me, why it is a part of my identity, why it is my purpose and how it drives me; and wouldn't you know, it all goes back to my childhood and my early adulthood. Hot damn.
Kind of freaky how well that explains everything...
44:20 I mean, why would you care for (or see as a purpose) something that you can't emotionally connect to?
47:24 Society has taken away those achievements in real life, so it's no wonder so many people gravitate to games in order to have _ANY_ sense of achievement, challenge, and exertion in their lives!
1:02:48 One thing that I've always reacted to is how people keep talking about incels as if that was a bad thing, and there are plenty of women who are incel as well. The terms tends to get politicised, which is unfortunate. I prefer to talk about incel (involuntary), discel (disillusioned), toxcel (toxic), radcel (radicalised), and idcel (ideological).
They are all different concepts, in a logical progression from harmless and innocent to outright dangerous.
Just a note here Dr. Bialik, I had a hard time listening to you laugh at some or make jokes of seemingly sensitive for others issues or life experience. I promise you, as a 30M that when my parents did that to me, “natural reaction” or not, it meant I was never being open with them again, or at the very least being extremely extremely selective. I hope you read this not thinking “if I did that to my kids I’m a terrible parent” but as a new way you can look to improve at being open and a safe place for your kids in the future. Great podcast, always love Dr K and I look forward to more conversations between you and hopefully a new podcast I add to my watch lists! Best wishes
It feels like she doesnt take it seriously wich is fine but then its hard to hear someone you know is lying to you.
Looooooove this episode so much! I love how he reframes things!
With regards to gaming being a very addictive stimulation: I already experienced that as a kid in the late 80's/early 90's. Whenever me and a new friend started going down the "We're bored. Let's play computer games"-road, that became the go-to solution 90% of the time. It's just such an easy source of entertainment. Perhaps you could even say that it dampens anxiety because it occupies the focus, rather than other activities that would require you to activate your social skills (or in my case, when I started to develop social anxiety in those years, at least perceived, a lack of them).
It totally occupies focus and can block everything else out.
I had to come and tell you this, last night I had my daughters (age 9) parents evening at school, and the teacher said Indie keeps singing about a breakdown and she asked my daughter to sing it to me, it was only the theme tune to your podcast 😂 she's been singing it in lessons and she has taught it to her friends too, I literally peed myself I ended up telling her teacher all about it 😊
We listen to your podcast on the drive to school and back.
Lots of love from the UK 🇬🇧
What? That's too funny. Thanks so much for listening.
I am glad that Dr K said that most people want to get healthier and don't want a pill to solve their problems. Nobody wants to cut their life short.....however work and family life can make sensible interventions difficult.
Juggle the demands of life can be complicated.
Sure, but most people have 30 mins a day to exercise or go on a walk tbh! They might not be able to at certain times, but saying they dont even have 30 mins to do something healthy when they use their phone for 4-5 hours a day is crazy
@@kushalramakanth7922Well most of us truly don't have that 30 min available because we don't see or notice the hours on our phone. Or the hours on the phone are being stolen from sleep or time we're at work and supposed to be working and wouldn't be allowed to visibly leave to take a walk. Or we multi-task with the phone and cooking or cleaning. Every single human being these days doesn't have time twiddling their thumbs that they're hoping to fill. The question shouldn't be "do you have time to exercise" but rather "is anything you do during your day something you could reasonably replace with exercise" and then the insight about their phone use might arise.
i was just listening to Dr. Kanojia on Steven Bartlett podcast, he's such an interesting and cool guest👏👏 Everything he says makes so much sense and leaves you thinking in the really important things in life 😮
Totally agree
I feel called out after watching this podcast. Feeling numbness, not depressed. I have for the past two to three months been undergoing a full psych eval to help me find out exactly what's wrong with me and help direct me to get better. I don't want a pharmacology treatment, I want a healthy resolution.
Sending you all the best in your recovery journey. The hardest step is getting started, and you've conquered that part! 🧠🫶
It is night, I am in bed and as much as I wanted to continue watching, I will go to sleep and continue tomorrow. Thank you for your help, Dr. K. Good night, everyone.
Thank you so much for discussing such important and often thought of as "taboo" topic(s)
We have to better understand how our tools and tech are impacting us.
I went to the gym yesterday and spent an hour brisk walking on the treadmil while I was moving my arms and hands the craziest ways possible. On top of that I listened to a complex podcast on 1.3 speed, there was the gym music on the background. After that I could FINALLY get to a deep sleep after months of insomnia and very light sleep. TY❤
as a boy, my mum even invalidate me being sick, like physically sick, vomiting didn't convince her and studying was the only other thing i was allowed to do other than going to school, and let alone the acknowledgement of a whole host of other mental illnesses i was denied from
It’s interesting to me how much this is framed through the lens of addiction, when it’s things I entirely relate to, but personally describe as apathy. It doesn’t feel like I’m compelled to do these escapist activities, but rather that I’m not compelled to push myself, find myself, or actually exist.
Thank you so much for this episode! I have a kid with ADHD who responds with “I don’t know” and Dr K has given me a script I can practise to take the conversation further and think deeper - “Sometimes I don’t know means I’m afraid of the answer. Do you think that could be the case?”
I'm 34 years old, i too have ADHD if that's relevant, and in HealthyGamerGG's coaching program right now. I say "I don't know" so instinctively as a kneejerk response to so many of these motivational interviewing questions about how this or that makes me feel. It's automatic and it's useful that they're pushing past that strong defense of mine. It's useful they're finding ways to tell me i need to try to think through what it might be even if I'm not sure and it's okay to be wrong and it might require extra time thinking about it to really get to any emotions but take the extra minute and really... try. I'm shocked how many emotions they're uncovering especially since I've already been in therapy for years now and I'm not crying in therapy these days - but my therapist isn't doing motivational interviewing on me.
The amount of ads is wild
I started my mental health journey a bit over 3 years ago and this channel and Dr. K's have been my favorites. This episode is a gift, thank you ❤! I actually really like that you covered so much ground. One challenge I've encountered is that I've learned so much that it can be hard to maintain all that knowledge. This seems like an episode I'll return to to refresh and motivate me.
I also really liked the idea of spirituality/meditation as something that moves you from 0 to 100. That distinction from medicine is not one that I've heard before.
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Thank you so much for this interesting conversation with Dr. Alok Kanojia! I enjoy watching this podcast so much, Mayim! ❤
With regards to "quick fix" vs. a thing like exercise, I personally got a breakthrough with an experiential approach, when I felt like crap both physically and mentally, but when I went on small walks, sometimes through feeling poorly physically, I would feel way better afterwards.
It turned out that me feeling poorly, very often, was a side effect of diabetes (2) or at least being in the danger zone of getting it. My brain connecting physical exercise with feeling physically and mentally better was so important, since my self discipline is generally pretty crap.
I'm still battling with it though, since the longer I feel fairly alright physically, the more I'm coming up with excuses of skipping a day, more than I usually do. Like my brain is testing what the minimum amount of effort is that I can do to stave off diabetes symptoms. At least I can say that I've been doing this exercise regularly for about 3 years now, doing longer and longer distances, so that's a reluctant pat on the back for this self-critical person.
A big pat on the back in our books, for sure! 🙌
i would LOVE to hear specifically how the kids react to being introduced to Dr. K by their parents! Let us know! I'm a strange middle aged fan of his. He talks their language.
This was FANTASTIC!!! Please have Dr. K on again!
I love Jonathan's Canadian corner lol
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I was surprised that Dr. Mayim Bialik, (whose area of study I am not familiar with, but I thought has a good understanding of psychology), is surprised by a lot of Dr.K's perspective. I guess Dr.K is really an outlier in his area. Maybe I am just used to it because I consumed a lot of his content. Regardless, it was very cool to see Dr. Bialik who I liked very much on TV, having a great conversation with Dr. K! I wish to see more collaborations in the future!
🤩 😅 I am soooo excited to see my 2 most favorite mental health pods coming together. You guys could’ve gone on for days. Thank you all so much for bringing all this crucial information to the public. My family and friends are in a whirlwind of different mental issues, it’s so overwhelming and listening to you guys has really helped me put the pieces together and understand our different perspectives and challenges. ❤❤❤
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This was such a great conversation, he's so knowledgable. And both of the hosts with such great questions and a huge sense of humanity. I almost felt like I was there, it's so weird to find a ''space'' online that doesn't feel like a fabricated and alien place. This was truly so amazing, great job to everyone and hope he comes back because I feel like he has so much to share to everyone.
I usually really like this show. Past couple have been tough. 1:50:00 is a master class in missing the point…
Think it was for comedic effect lol
@@jonathancohen4774 it felt like her jokes were done in bad faith, this is the first time i listen to this podcast so idk if she jokes like that about all the other topics/guests.
Great conversation, i enjoyed the questions asked of Dr K.
This is the first episode I've seen of your channel. I'm not going to fault you guys for taking sponsors, everyone should get paid. However the frequency of ads during the conversation was distracting.
woah 2 of my favorite ytber doing a collab
Very nice Dr. K. I am an old lady cannot understand anything but joy from watching RUclips, but I see the addiction amongst the youth.
The idea of people killing themselves after so much rejection is one of the saddest things I can think of. Could part of what exacerbates it be that there are just so many people now? If there were fewer people in the world, would we care about each other, strangers included, enough not to be so willing to reject one another?
I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I looked at population growth recently and how it has really exploded- and how I have felt that even through my lifetime. It's crazy. I definitely think the sheer number of people in certain areas, the swipe right/left culture, ghosting culture, have made people feel less connected and more alone and definitely contributed to these feelings.
No, it's systematic and societal forces that influence our behavior that is driving loneliness and inability to connect with others. In capitalist societies in which people/corporations are competing for dollars, they will sell you solutions or coping mechanism...distractions...new addictions so you can avoid your problems such as a lack of connection with others. Most of work we do is unfulfilling and lacks purpose other than to make others wealthy. From wiki, "Karl Marx's theory of alienation describes the estrangement of people from aspects of their human nature as a consequence of the division of labour and living in a society of stratified social classes. The alienation from the self is a consequence of being a mechanistic part of a social class, the condition of which estranges a person from their humanity." More people around us doesn't make us lonely. It's the capitalist ultra-consumerism driven society that most of us live under that leads to people's inadequacy of building strong relationships and being able to connect with others. The businessman sells us an addiction that we use to escape...and through that addiction...we lose ourselves...we lose or never build an identity...we lack purpose...and we are not using and growing our "emotional muscles" to build strong and healthy relationships with others because we live far more in the digital world than the real world. And when we are out in the real world...commuting...shopping...We are consumed by our devices even then. Go people watch and observe how often folks are on their phones. On the subway...in a coffee shop...walking across the street...PHONES!
It's the fact that people have drank deep of the cup that they can have their perfect person and to never settle for anything less. Then, their standards for a partner became unrealistic, so Chad and Tyrone get to eat and run, and they rest of society just accepts that it's already over.
to mayim
and johnathon. this was a very interesting episode. and i heard though two of you struggling with your kids in this situation. i have one of those. honestly it is true . conversations no judgments is of utmost importance. a real curiosity and interest and acceptance brings you into a trusted space. however this very slow and yes very frustrating. this psychiatrist is correct i believe in that they do want more but have many fears about the world. it’s a new phenomenon and hard to understand and also just sad that they’re lives have been changed by screens in this way. but this is what we have and some of it is cool. they do have friendships. and hopefully one day it will grow to include more of what we experience. sometimes just adding in one thing is adding it in. like something physical. sometimes just a conversation and that connection is something.
Fabulous as usual. I hope to see another episode with Dr. K. Social media has changed our society. I so grateful I’m not attached to my phone anymore. Covid put me in that loop. Meditation is a necessity for me. PTSD is a beast without that tool. Grateful for your podcast and the knowledge
Such amazing episode! He is so brilliant at explaining complex issues simply...❤
OMG Mayim! again haven't even started watching and I know it's gonna be good! Shout out to Dr. K
Such interesting topics! I do hope to listen to this video at some point. Serious health problems in my family prevent this to happen for the moment. But if necessary I will take hours off my sleep..Luckily I’m subscribed, so I’ll have this episode always available.
Sending healing wishes to your family! 🫶
@@MayimBialik Thank you dear Mayim! 🫶🏽
i didn't know how much i needed to listen to these two together 😭😭😭
Great conversation - these subjects need exposure - I will run these modalities in a daily basis - awareness is power - Super episode Mayim and Jonathan ❤
I've either listened or watched all episodes of Breakdown, and this one by far has been the best one yet.
That was a great talk! Thank you you two. I am glad I found this channel. Just a thought from my side - it may help to tell a teen how the mechanics of a game works - how the game tries to keep their attention and manipulate them to give their spare money to the game. No teenager really wants to manipulated - they are beautiful rebellious creatures ☺
Eastern and Western doctrines coming together as use for preventative healing is where it's at
This episode is powerful! Hope you can interview Dr K again. Love you guys. ❤Thanks for all you do.
Finally got to watch this episode❤️. Thank you for breaking down this topic! This episode is really interesting and I learned so much from this conversation. Love your podcast🧠
Thank you... I need this in brazilian portuguese.. to show to my friends.... Very nice PodCast
Wow he was amazing on your podcast! What an amazing doctor with an incredible life history. Thank you
Ohh the crossover I didn’t know I was waiting for! Adding to my watch later list
Loved this beyond the addiction - a very insightful and enlightened PhD clinician. Thank you
Excellent podcast. Very enlightening.
I remember my girls playing video games every day together. And they got so heavily involved in sports, more than one, and they haven't touched a video game in years.
genuinely you don't know how long I've been waiting for this, I've searched for Dr K/Mayim Bialik crossover twice in the last year!
Great episode, Mayim! ❤
27:00 - I've always heard that one of the core pillars of addiction is the compulsion, like you mention. It's the almost automatic response to reach for that dopamine hit during any "down" feeling, including boredom. The problem with tech is it's so ingrained in modern life, you have plenty of excuses for looking at your phone.
But when you don't even consciously realize you pick up your phone because there was a 5sec lull in your life because it's become such automatic response.
And of course, the real definition of addiction aims at the large "it's negatively impacting aspects of your life" compulsion, but I'd argue that any compulsive behavior to avoid-sad or chase-happy wears "grooves" in the emotional and satisfaction part of your brain, slowly eroding the connection to the world and people around you that Dr. K mentions.
This is a really important topic, and is coververed perfectly, everyone is going to have problems unique to them, but if you can view yourself in the same manner you view others, it can really shift your perspective on where you need to go next; self reflection is important for anybody, especially those in the scientific field.
55:00 😂😂 im dead!! What a change in energy
It’s also depressing that it is felt like an insult for being mistaken for a nurse
Dr k goes hard. An episode with mayim bialik goes hard as well
The collab I didnt know I needed
The collab I’ve always needed ❤
I'm SO happy this is 2 and a half hours long, huge huge fan of Dr. K.
And Mayim! I enjoy you everywhere I see you. Great actress and also well-educated/curious!
Also, BetterHelp is a questionable service at best. I think yall should do some deep diving and really look into why people see them as harmful. Then make your own decision obviously :D much love
Love love love Dr. K. He is THE BEST.
This is the crossover episode I needed.
dr.k is the best
Maladaptive Daydreaming has the same effects as addiction has on one's brain and life... Please cover this topic with Dr.K
26:44 damn bro I’m sitting here with my coffee on my phone feeling called out 😂
Don't push, create space - that's something to dwell on❤
Dr K is in da house!
Another Fantastic Episode! 👌😊😆👍 Thank You 👋🎃👋 🍊🍁🍊
Yay, collab from both channel are very educational 😊 The Couch Potato by Jory John, Pete Oswald (Illustrator)
Fantastic conversation.
Wherever Dr.K goes i go .😌
i liked the smalls cat food ad. maybe festus needs to branch out! ^_^ and i liked that dr kanojia is a gamer, despite the expertise/need for balance :) i loved his focus on meditation very useful!
I LOVE THIS CROSSOVER!! 😱
"its all psychobabble rap to me"-Alan Parsons
Yesterday I found out you'll reunite with Bernadette (Melissa Rauch) on Night Court. I'm pretty sure it will be nice to see both of you again. You're some of my favorite actresses ever
Wow…this was awesome!
Loved this, life changing
I'm a huge fan of your podcast and listen on my Apple podcast platform. Couldn't comment there but I wanted to drop you guys a note, because if you only listen and don't watch this one, I think your guest came across as angry and "Shamy". But if you watch it, you get a completely different vibe.
To be clear we now know that self-touch/massage, dancing both release oxytocin within the body.
What research says that? I think Dr. K has really looked into this and seems so confident self touch doesn't...
As a former social worker, he speaks a language I've heard before. But social workers aren't paid like doctors, so...
loving this crossover
I know this is going to be great.. haven't started watching yet, but yeah 👍
Heck yeah! Love Dr K! 😎♥️
would love to see dr Faith G Harper on the pod cast. her books changed my life❤
Antibiotics are a medical marvel, but now they are entirely overprescribed for everything. If 80% of our immune system lies in the gut, let’s stop glorifying antibiotics unless there is a severe infection. The body is equipped to overcome mild infections when it’s metabolically healthy. We’ve also learned a thing or too about hygiene since the time period you mentioned.
Omg this collab!!!!
This is awesome
I understand that they had questions but It bugged me that they couldn't wait till Dr. K finishes what he wanted to say...
This was fun but Jesus christ the commercial breaks. I can't do this again.
Omg the best crossover in history 🎉
Omg i need that!! I desperately need to be taught life skills & social skills ect soooo bad 😩🥺💯👌😅
If we are going to spend 6 hours on the internet, this is definitely the right way to use a third of it 😂 for real, this conversation is great 👍
Great episode 👏👏👏