I hate that it's so common to hear the fear "If I mess up college/university, I mess up my life". It's such a sad reality many people feel. The stress of life is so huge.
I pretty much broke down for half a year in the middle of my first semester, because I didn't get anything and so much was happening. My mind was so fucked in these months that I legit believed I'd starve in a month because I wouldn't be able to continue/make money. In one of the safest countries in terms of social support. Don't even wanna imagine what it'd be like for someone in America, who has to spend thousands for their education to begin with
I started failing some classes and contemplated killing myself because I would rather die than be stuck at a McDonald’s for the rest of my life. Glad I didn’t end up doing it.
@@Shyverin Bro Im in a country with social security but zero job opportunity, I've been working at McDonald's since my 2nd year in uni. Now Ive graduated with a useless degree (because my parents pushed me to go to uni in the first place) and im glad I have this fast food job because it allows me to be financially independant and not give a fuck about anything except my passions (writing and other stuff). Go in, turn your brain off for 5 hours, go home and work on interesting stuff. Good deal for me. Never thought I'd reach personal happiness serving fries and shit but here we are lmao
@@dmas7749 wdym? He shared his own opinion like during the whole session and I mean you really do have to have confidence to open up about your private stuff online. Especially for people who have dealt with/have depression it takes a lot to do something like this and damn glad he did it! I wouldn't be able to.
@@brunoandrea4846 i said "like no", i was referring to mindset, which really comes out when he comes to his "destined to fail/destined to succeed" bits
I don’t only watch these videos to learn things about myself but the issues that other people may face in everyday life. If you don’t like when streamers come on, you should just not watch these streams because for a lot of us, they are 1. relatable (others don’t face the same issues as you do) and 2. help understand other people’s problem which in turn makes us more knowledgeable about human psychology which makes you able to help those with similar problems.
@@crimsonair8890I never said I did not like it when streamers come on. I said I appreciate him doing interviews with "normal" people. As it is a sacrifice in growth for his platform. He could keep doing big streamers and keep growing at a faster rate. But as he said himself his goal is to help average joe gamers get better at life. My favorite type of content are the lecture/webinar, ie not interview. I simply comment to let him know helps me.
Andy Nguyen Ah I see, sorry if I misunderstood your comment. Have a nice day! Although, keep in mind that there are some normal people who relate to some issues that streamers face, for instance Dr. K’s interview with Reckful (Rest in Piece btw) was the most helpful streams of his for me.
This was one of the most relatable interviews for me. Struggling in college with no support from family, trying to cope in a way that everything you do must be perfect, leave no room for the chance of failure and get so caught up in trying to be perfect that you end up doing nothing due to the fear of failure. Just stay inside where its safe. Kudos to Ezreal for coming on and sharing his thoughts, Im sure it helped some of us!
It breaks my heart to see how many 20-somethings smile and laugh while trying to talk about painful stuff. It's almost like the last generation of parents didn't know how to deal with uncomfortable emotions, so their kids (us) taught themselves to cope by bein' all like "Haha, I'm fine! Don't worry about me lmao! Nothing wrong here lolololol. I'm not traumatised teehee~".
Yes. I was taught not to share opinions/argue because it made my Mom get nervous. She took it all as "fighting" even though the rest of us including my Dad disagreed that this was fighting. So I have trouble accessing assertiveness or sharing my opinion years later. 😞 I'm in therapy.
Don't know if it's specifically the parents, but I agree with the state of the generation. I was playing a game last week where everyone had to draw a meme to represent their lives, and about half the people picked the dog with its house on fire saying "this is fine".
@@arielperez3434 what age group was this? I’m really curious if it was people in their mid-20’s to early 30’s or if it was people in their teenage years.
The reason we _overthink_ is to alleviate _fear_ from ourselves, but the more we think - the smarter we are - the more possibilities our minds generate about how things can go wrong, and it's a vicious cycle. This solution of overthinking our minds sometimes comes up with is actually the *very problem* that keeps us paralyzed. You will never overcome your fear of failure; you act in spite of it. When you start acting *in spite of* things, instead of trying to fix them before you act, then you'll stop being stuck. Because you want to fix everything before you do anything. *Confidence is about acting in the face of uncertainty because you believe that you can manage what comes.* I needed this.
Reminds me of the QTCinderella talk. I've been struggling a lot with this. I always think of all the scariest ways I could die. I'm scared of locking rooms incase the lock doesn't open again. I'm scared of elevators because there's a chance they can get stuck. I'm scared of heights because I imagine myself falling down. This shit kinda sucks
@@biggiesmallsgamerle4she276 I basically started taking notes from 1:36:53 and pasted them down here, maybe if you go over that part a couple of times you will understand it more! Good luck.
Dude, I am fucking afraid to drive a car. I managed to get my license, but barely. 7 years ago. Haven't driven since. I am more afraid of hurting others while driving than hurting myself...
I like all kinds of guests, its a good reminder that people have very similar problems irregardless of where they come from and even if you don't 100% relate it still gives you important insight.
Agreed. I feel that everyone will take something away from each stream no matter how small, and sometimes it can be eye opening. I personally have learnt most from non-streamers, but streamers can provide powerful insight too. I love this community, please be kind to yourselves
while not the flashiest or most dramatic interview Dr K has ever done, I feel like this is one of the best. This guy is so relatable and articulated so many common behaviors and thought patterns. Great watch, with some really good stuff
agreed 100% i usually watch the interviews in a pop out window but this one got all my attention and watched it in fullscreen just watching and relating.
" If you're gonna do something, go all out. Don't be afraid to fail, I mean how far can you fall look at the ground it's right here. " - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold is incredible. Even at his ripe old age he is in better shape than me. The guy worked his ass off (even if he too PEDs). One of the only celebrities I'll use as a role model
@@bramancronin8013 yeah hes truly an inspiration, and even though he used PEDs he definitely did not abuse them or else he would have not looked nearly as aesthetic
This was one of the most genuine guests. He really was well-spoken and truthful about his thought, at least it felt so to me. Really hope life works out for you my friend.
This kid is truly an angel - "I'm not an angry person, I tend to sympathize with others even if they've done me wrong." Speaking from those who watched this: we'll always be in your corner, man. What you're feeling is normal and you are strong & brave for what you have been through. Do not belittle your experiences because someone else may have it worse. You are so important too. We've got your back on your journey and you will never disappoint us. Thanks for putting yourself out there and allowing others to relate. Through understanding together, we are stronger. :)
i find it so crazy how unbelievably relatable ezreal is - to me, at least. i'm sitting here crying my eyes out every time he drops a statement and my immediate reaction is "holy shit, yes, exactly that". i don't even know if "respect" is strong enough of a word for what i have for this guy for being so open on freaking stream but i can say with 2000% certainty that i feel him. he deserves all the good that he receives in life!
This might be one of the bravest interviews I've seen. Most of the interviews are people in the public eye, and this man comes on with all his fear and problems and does amazing.
As an anxious extremely undecided college dropout this definitely hits home a little bit. Being suffocated by indecision and fear of failure is not a fun time. and the longer i can't decide the less time it feels i have to make things work. We're with you homie.
I feel the same way. Find what your interest are and try to make a business out of it. Mine was vidoe games, I am good generally but live by myself can't afford to try to stream, I could go the youtube route but it just isn't me. Instead I decided to make a business, started out just a Facebook page doing pc repair(sometimes it was just old people's computers updating windows or replacing hard drives) i eventually started going to businesses offering services, I now set up POS for restaurants, manage a charter schools IT, contracted 2 vets that I get paid a monthly retaining fea to maintain their IT/servers. I make about 3000 a month passively just to maintain some problems for business, then I get contacted for set up fees for different businesses which are decent pay outs to, all in the span of 1 year. I'm telling you find whatever your interest are and dive in head first and you will flourish.
@@XTen1000DaysX what if nothing interests you enough for that. Too bmany interests to decide on and then not having any confidence in yourself to try because you're scared to fail. The sad part is there's no guarantee in life and it sucks. If there was some sort of guarantee that you won't fail it make what you said easier
@@jamesgentry13 I can relate to what you say. I got studio equipment almost 4 years ago but I still haven’t learned to use it despite having the resources. I keep messing up my life for no logical reason.
I had a similar pain. But instead of my smile, which was softer than his, I used to laugh in confrontations especially if the other person raised their voice. Ezreal's smile is the tail end of a "toxic positivity," but I've seen 2 / 3rds of that in people like Jacksepticeye.
You can physically see how this man has never told a soul about his problems. The entire time his awkwardly smiling and laughing because his still not sold on being this vulnerable to anybody. It’s like his still holding his hands up just waiting for the hits to come. I can extremely relate to this because that was exactly how I was like.
Oh my god I was hurting right from the start on this one. You can tell he's such a kind, sensitive person, but the world has just chewed him up and spit him out.
I'm kind of addicted to Dr. K's interviews. They're very calming in a way. You hear the people he interviews talk about their problems and you relate to them and realise you're not alone, and they should know that they're not alone. And Dr. K just listens to them and has a open and honest discussion with them. I know they're just discussions and not meant to 'fix' people, but he always talks so much sense with so much confidence but without being condescending. He's the best thing that happened to twitch and youtube in a very long time. Thank you for everything you and your team do! Kudos to Ezreal for coming on, it takes courage to talk about your problems so openly to the world.
@@mchatin8862 My main difference with the guy is that where he do not feel that much anger, I have an immense amount of hatred bottled up in my heart linked to past harassment in college
I admire this young man for being so courageous to share his session online. I want to tell him that he is not alone in having the feelings he feels. As a 62 year old I want to assure him that failing some college courses in his early 20s (or younger) does not mean he screwed up his whole life, even though he feels that way.
As a perfectionist, the way my therapist helped me break it down was showing me her failures. DR. K is someone who society would deem as successful but hes also someone who failed to get there. When my therapist told me her story, it made me realize how much I lacked social experience...how just getting to know others can really help you feel less alone
what a beautiful wholesome person. world would be better off with more people like him. also Dr. K dropped some nuggets: "You can control your actions, but you can't control the outcomes" and "I don't need you to be perfect I just need you to be you".
This is something I don't understand. We don't control 100% of outcome but we can definitely imrpove the chances. Let's say you have assignments you need to finish to pass a course. It's definitely not fair to say that people who turn in the assignment and people who don't have the same chance of passing. In that sense you could say that you turning in the assignment improves you chances for better outcome which means controlling the outcome to a small degree.
@@Sixvo Yup, I completely agree with your nuanced point. To phrase it more accurately, I would say that we definitely have some influence over outcomes, but most of our control lies in our actions. This is an important distinction because there are numerous factors that go into determining an outcome, the majority of which are beyond one's immediate control. The only person that controls your actions though (assuming you live in a free state and are not violating the rights of others) is you. When you learn to focus on your actions instead of your outcomes, it helps reduce the feelings of disappointment that will inevitably arise when life doesn't turn out the way you expected or desired. Dr. K is talking about a framework of operating in life. To essentially focus on what you can control and to learn to let go of the rest. Beating yourself up because you didn't get a good grade on an assignment doesn't help. Instead focus on how you can study different and prepare better next time. If you're interested in this concept look into "process oriented versus results oriented approaches."
@@Sixvo I believe the idea is more so that yes, of course your actions can lead to the outcomes you want to achieve but we still cannot fully control the outcome. For example, let's say you go for a job. You can do everything possible to prep for interviews and show off a portfolio of previous work or whatever the case may be and yes, by putting your best foot forward, you give yourself a better chance of reaching the outcome that is "obtaining said job" but you do not actually control it. You may not get the job no matter what you do but that does not mean that it is necessarily a failure on your part. Applying to a job as an artist or auditioning for a role as an actor for example, you may put in an incredible portfolio or an amazing audition. You may have done everything right, performed brilliant or had super interesting and technically amazing art but perhaps the take on the character or your specific art style was not what they wanted for this specific project so you don't get the job. It's not necessarily because you were bad in any way or failed so in general, all we can do is our best. If all we focus on is the outcome, we will likely live very unhappy lives. We have to accept that all we can do is our best in any given situation but we can't actually control what comes of doing our best.
@@Sixvo correct, you control the action of completing an assignment, you do not control if the teacher likes the paper, and trying to write the perfect paper won't work. You control the paper, and its being submitted. Outside of that the reaction to it is out of your control, which for someone like Azreal is an important revelation.
Physics broke my soul. it took me 7 years and multiple breakdowns to finish my degree.. it is not something you switch to if you're not doing well in school. I wish you all the best Ezreal, I hope you take some time for yourself and finish whatever you chose to pursue.
ryanguy6789 the problem with physics is if you don’t understand the base concepts of a class, or get behind, then you’re in trouble. It’s heavily built off other modules. In one of my grade 12 physics classes, we had 2 hours of lectures a day, two classes worth of info, every day for 5 days. If you didn’t understand day 1 you’d be completely lost by day 3, and in a bad place by Friday. I spend 2x the in class time out of class to understand the concepts. The class started with 30 people and ended with ~4. 10 people dropped out in the first week, and then they trickled out over the next two months. I graduated with a 84%, but I could have easily gotten left behind had I not been able to do that outside of class work.
@@slopcrusher3482 Nice job! I think physics is a subject that some people can get and for others, it's much harder. It's problem solving with all kinds of equations and variables and some do better with that "puzzle solving" kind of thinking than others. I agree, I actually took AP Physics in high school and while I didn't like it, I got through, but once I made it to the college level stuff, it was over for me. You are right that it builds upon itself and therefore if you start falling behind, it's hard to play catch up, which differs from other studies.
The smile and look in his eyes, trying to hide his pain and hurt is so sad to see. Watching him describe his life at home makes me wish so badly that I could’ve been there for hmm. He has such a kind and warm soul. I really hope he is doing better now, he deserves happiness.
cptsd is a crippling monster and i’ve struggled with many of the things he’s talked about for pretty much ever. i feel so alone most of the time but this helped me so much. Thank you
I’m so sorry. I too have CPTSD and ADHD and that paralysis of both feeding into each other is so terrible. I really hope things are working out well for you in your world. I’d love to help others with CPTSD and I really hope things are great in your world. I know RUclips comment notifications are a bit bugged but if you ever need to vent, I’m here and can understand and empathize with you.
"As a human being, you're entitled to your actions. You are not entitled to your results." I am so glad I found this channel today, and need to hang that quote on my door or something. And massive kudos to this for sharing his vulnerability with us.
Gah.. I want nothing more than to just give this man a hug. His story resonates and his pain is real, it’s almost too difficult to watch knowing I can’t provide any comfort. But I’m not even halfway through this so I’ll continue on~
28:19 This is one advice that resonated deeply within me. It was taught everywhere, but I had never taken it seriously "Take actions based on where you are, not based on where you should be"
I love how patient and compassionate this psychiatrist is. Giving this young man space to think, speak and rewire his system 🙏 This channel is so rich in learning materials, thank you doctor, really appreciating you and your work 🤍🙏🍀
I'm 13 mins in. The way Ezreal talks and his smile really reminds me of myself - it's really relatable. And the trouble talking on the phone with people. I already know this one will be great.
I was thinking the same thing, listening to this interview it reminds me so much of how I used to be. I definitely still carry part of that with me but it feels reassuring to know I came from a place like this and it makes me believe damn well he can come out of that place too. Hell he finished high school so he's already made it further than me, let alone getting into college, I have plenty of confidence he'll be able to figure it out. The fact that he came on to get some help figuring it out tells me already he'll figure it out.
@@QuadroMan1 It's nice to hear that to some degree you've been able to overcome it! Gives me some hope too. It's really difficult to get past that mindset that the perfect plan is not the only good option and to try again despite fully knowing it might all go to shit
@@QuadroMan1 Hey bro, it's great that you've found a way to get better. What were the main things you worked on to get out of these thinking patterns, if you don't mind me asking?
The smile got me the most. For too long I put up that smile on my face but it really shows that there is a lot of suffering behind it. Alas, most people can't or simply don't care to see.
Personal notes: - Act in spite of having fear. You have more control of your actions than the outcome - Overthinking involves generating numerous possibilities and trying to explore them to see which one holds the best outcome, which means you'll take longer than usual to act ^- One solution is to stick with a good enough solution, because trial and error will help in the long run
This is so relatable. I had an overprotective mother who literally came to my class and told people to stop bullying me, it went to shit after that, then i changed schools at 6th grade (my mothers desition without consulting me beforehand), lost all my friends and ended up alone in my bedroom with Super Mario Sunshine, The end. I am 25 years old now with anger and resentment, but this sure did help me!
this one resonated with me so much. Being part of an asian household, I had high expectations of me to do well university. When I fell short and under performed in college and felt the need to switch majors, I felt like I wasted so much time, money, and expectations that my parents bestowed on me. Now I am in a position where I feel rushed to make only the right decisions, and any wrong or non-perfect life decisions will only waste more time and money out of my family's pockets. Thank you fort this interview, it helped me out quite a bit.
I switched majors. Had two major depressive episodes and had zero emotional support from my father. I spent 7 years in college. I graduated in 2019. And guess what? I'm doing perfectly well at work. No one ever asked me about grades nor years. I work with older people and younger people. Get help if you feel the need to, but be assured that a those years are no waste. They are what they are and srly no one at work cares or even asks.
I can't help but tear up when Dr. K says such nice things to someone who can't under any circumstance see them for themselves. It takes him the whole session to get them there and it's really heartwarming to see a little bit of the weight being lifted by having someone who has taken the time to understand what they're feeling, without judging, and being kind to them.
Ezreal's problems were super relatable. I took that feeling of perfectionism to the point of inaction and dropped out of college my freshman year. I struggled along for a year afterwards and wondered what the point was. It's tough and the only thing you can do is tell yourself that you WILL do better and you will find a way that makes you motivated. I went from a prospective Math major dropout to an Accounting Master's student. I realized that I'd never have the motivation to put in hours every week to achieve what I want, so I changed my major and did something that I knew I could achieve. Being an adult is about using your skill set and motivations to achieve what works for you. Sometimes you realize that you don't want to do what you think you SHOULD do. Find what you CAN do, and become good at that. I grew up playing Runescape and WoW, I found that I like long, repetitive grinds. Most of my day-to-day work is that same long, repetitive grind.
1:28:00-1:28:15 I'm bawling my eyes out, the fear of failure is so intense but it's been holding me back for a lot of things I want to accpmplish...maybe it's the right time for a leap of faith, and fuck whatever happens
My highlights: 57:27 "You have a fear of failure, and the reason you think is to get rid of the fear of failure, because if you can find that perfect solution where there is no chance of failure, then do you need to have fear?" 1:10:10 "Notice this* pattern in yourself and then as best as you can try to set it aside in the tiniest ways." (*) this being the 57:27 pattern of trying to think up the perfect solution to avoid fear. 1:10:30 "Run a little experiment. All of your current hypotheses are based on the data of the past. And what I would really love it if you could do is collect your own [data] that does not involve your stepfather. [...] Run a fucking experiment without [your stepfather]. 'Cause I can almost guarantee you: it's gonna give you different data. Your sense of confidence in yourself is based on like him interfering with your fucking experiment." 1:11:21 "Did your stepfather think you were a good cook? / I didn't cook much / Fascinating! It's almost as if you like learned good things and life skills when he wasn't around."
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable with us, Azrael, there is so much in what you say that resonates. And I'm a 55 year old German woman. Family dynamics and their impact on our own self image, self worth, and our capacity to allow good stuff (and also grief for what will never be) into our life can't be overrated. I'm happy you got to have this conversation with wizard Dr K. Thank you both❤
I have a lot of compassion and appreciation for this poor guy. He’s a victim of his circumstances and naturally feels overwhelmed and not in control of his life. I certainly can relate to him. I hope he is helped and can break out of this horrible cycle of negativity. Best wishes to him.
In a nutshell this is me. I feel anxious talking to people I feel like a dissapointment I over - analyze everything Im afraid of failing Im still learning not to be too hard on myself I used music to escape my problems and reality and to express myself I feel hopeless on my channel bc of people hates my content I just feel lost....
Message me if you wanna talk about it, i used to feel exactly the same (still do sometimes but much better now) and have improved majorly on all that. How? Mostly by trial and error, you need to unlearn these false belief systems. You're worthy.
@@rastitrading awww thank you so much 💖😊 Im doing much better now Its been 2 months since commenting on this and im thankful for everyone who helped me to keep on doing what i love...
@@mawielimbo That is so great to hear! :) It's crazy how when we're in the middle of feeling that way, everything seems like its destined to be that way and that we're a lost cause. Truth is there's so much potential in us, we just have to realize it. Take care and keep doing what you're doing which is making you feel better and loved.
Comparing 'overthinking' to poking ever more holes in your tyre, trying to fill it up...👀💡💯 Also: 'When you act despite your fear of failure, rather then trying to fix your fear of failure before acting.... that's when you start making progress'. I should put that on my coffee mug, so I'm reminded of it every morning!
When you spend most of your life hiding your real self, you lose who you are and become just the pursuit of hiding your real self. Kinda like if you wore a mask your entire life and then took it off one day you wouldn't recognise yourself.
I think that's what happened to me. I used to be this kid but the only difference is I never found help. I was still 12 and then all of a sudden I just didn't recognize myself in the mirror anymore.
Dr. K should do follow ups with his guests and see how’ve they changed from their first appearance on the podcast. Not only it will be a productive self reflection for the guest, but also a chance for us viewers to see and understand real people’s evolutions over a period of time.
This is the exact journey I am on. I know what I've found is that the overthinking goes hand in hand with me being an expert distractor (video games, movies, RUclips, etc.) I've been trying to face these fears and not just distracted hard enough that they are buried. Thank you for sharing man. Not being alone and seeing other people working on this is powerful.
i LOVE when he keeps saying "my dude". Just warms my frickin heart. This talk really helped me and I think I'm going to take steps to see a therapist. I hope they are 1/4 as good as Dr. K
Don't hesitate. Maybe you won't get the perfect fit of a therapist at once. But it's worth it. Therapy literally saved my life a bit over five years ago. Please, don't give up on trying to get better. It does get better ❤
I’m 29. I cried this entire video. We have almost exact life stories to the point it’s haunting. (Just opposite genders). This episode was so therapeutic for me because I have come out on the other side much more healed from the situation, I was in before, and I just cried for him, and I’m just so hopeful that if he is anything like me, he will heal as well. He seems like such a nice guy and I really wish the best for him. I’m just crying for him because he just deserves the world and I hope he knows that.
Less than 10 minutes in and I already relate so fucking much. Inability to talk on the phone, fear of failure, hiding things from family, not applying for jobs due to feeling like I won't get it anyway, disappointed dad, ignoring problems... I literally relate with every problem Fuck
When he said "I don't think it's as much as some people go through" that hit really hard because it's something I also tell myself too and I realize that might be true but it doesn't invalidate what I've been through
Yet another case of parents utterly failing their children. I'm so sick of bad parents. This guy is obviously smart and thoughtful and sharp, but he's wracked with nerves and has no confidence in himself because his parents are awful.
Do you think parents are handed a Manuel upon having a child? That's not how it works. Stops being resentful and faulting others. Shit happens and a parent can never guarantee that their child will be mentally healthy after 18 years. Parents provide a lot for their children but when it comes to the mind it's not half as much as we think it is.
@@kohvazein7798 A parent license must be required before you make children cuz when they fail in life they become a burden to society or worse, a threat
@@kohvazein7798 your dumb af, generalizing that "parents provide a lot" is incredibly presumptuous and not even close to always accurate. Parents choose to have a child(aside from rape), the child is owed the care the parents provide after they choose to have the child. Parents treating providing for their children as a privilege is toxic and incredibly unhealthy. It is not a privilege, it is a right that a child is owed by their parents.
@@kohvazein7798 yes often the scenario is difficult or impossible for parents to control however presuming that is the case for all is just foolish. And that is exactly what you sign up for when you decide to have a child. Unless your an ignorant idiot you should realize having a child is very very difficult and at least try and prepare for it.
Damn, I've always been told I smile and laugh when I talk about pain, so strange to see it reflected in someone else. Wish I could be this guys friend.
Wow. Just wow. I wish I could like this video 1 billion times over. I feel like so many people on the internet are going to really relate to Ezreals story. (sorry if that's spelt wrong) I know I did. I dealt with a bit of emotional abuse myself having a bipolar mother, constantly being worried about what's going to trigger her because once she flipped the switch and was angry, there was really no getting her out of that angry state. A major issue between us was, well still is, communication. She loves to expect things, such as chores, but also things like apologies or for me to know as a 30 year old now, that she needs me without her asking or telling me so. She reacts off of emotion while I tend to react off of logic (unless we're in the heat of the moment then we're both being completely irrational and no one is listening). I'm trying to set up boundaries with her, I have a hard time with boundaries and figuring out how they work when it comes to my immediate family. I can very easily cut people out of my life, but I know I shouldn't and can't do that to my Mom, but I need more space then she's willing to give and it has left me in a state of not responding to her messages. It make's me feel shitty somedays but I know that it's the inner voice that I'm constantly beating myself up with. I've been working on forgiveness, not being so angry, and overall not being such a dick to myself. If you read all of this, thanks, I think I needed a good vent after watching this video.
I can relate to your problems. Sometimes when one person changes for the better the other does too, because the whole relationship dynamic changes. I wish you both all the best
This guy worked through in a session what it took me darn near a decade to piece together between self-reflection and random youtube videos. I hope he took it to heart.
Man I wish Dr. K knew how deep the Dark Souls reference was for me.😶 I played DS1 DS2 DS3 as they released, as Deprived. I've made 9 different characters in Dark Souls 3. Each as deprived. I would usually ignore weapons I've played with before and try new things each time. This just made me realize how adaptive I can be. Aswell it taught me how to play my best. The game made me a better gamer and in the background taught me to approach every problem from different angles. It also showed me I'm not afraid of obstacles in the game because I know I will find a problem. Yet in life I can replicate this, but the only thing that stops me is my ego/fear of others thoughts and I let it. But I can also stop it, if I learn to.. I'd never had expected it would have affects on my actual life. Well damn, I'm just going to start seeing hateful people as enemies in dark souls and that they are just obstacles to get pass quickly. Not violently.. and not with a wooden club... 🤣 Sorry for the essay.. Thank you for leading me to this revelation, Dr. K. Stay awesome!
Please, now that it gets better. I'm getting very personal here. But I was going through this same pattern of thought about 10 years ago. I even considered suicide many times... I started therapy, and been in it for over five years. My life has changed. Please don't give up on getting better! ❤
Ohh my god! I'm only a few seconds into the vid, and I just wanna say you immediately seem like a really sweet person, and I just wanna give you a big hug!!!
I really hope he has read this comment thread. There are so many supportive people here. It is a beautiful thing to see. He is incredibly brave to put himself out there like this and I hope he is able to apply some of the things he learned here today.
Some notes : When you don't let anger go anywhere, it accumulates and starts to go towards yourself. • "If I can figure out the perfect solution , it'll be alright ".how can I find the perfect solution. this is due to fear of failure • You don't control the outcome so don't focus on it Solutions ▪︎Recognise the fear. Try to act while embracing the fact that sometimes you won't be able to do what you need to it . But ask yourself can I do it anyway . Look at the times when you did that and succeeded and realise that maybe I didn't need to worry that's how you develop confidence
I can so relate. Emotionally unstable household, divorced parents, overwhelming fear of failure. Ended up as a university drop out cause depression started hitting hard at the end. I was actually trying to finish my major for 5 years but felt like trying to break a wall with my head. 15 years in therapy, mostly going well and I've been turning my life around a lot. Tho recently I feel stuck again. Not happy with my job. Realized there is no way I can fix my family and I am getting to the decision to try sever ties with them cause they are toxic. The hard part is that I am working with my mother and she is big part of me not being happy with my job... tho for sure not the only one. I have a path to change a job. I took a java course last year, realized I remember much more from uni than I suspected but the closer to the end the I started feeling more doubt. To make it worse, at the end of the course I fell sick and didn't finish my project that was supposed to be the base to build my portfolio on. Since that moment I cannot make myself to code. I am not sure if it's the path I want. I would so much more prefer to go into psychology or philosophy as those things really fascinate me. But I kinda still need money to pay the bills. So I'm stuck... and really angry at my family not really for fucking up my life in my childhood but doing those things over and over again. Blaming me for my failures and not taking any shred of responsibility and still expecting me to be their emotional sponge I used to be for 38 years of my life. EDIT: i just got to the part when he talks about seeing things from other people's perspective because if he helps them they will stop hurting him... I want to hug him... but to be fair I really want to hug myself... and I'm just staring to have tears in my eyes cause I was trying to fix people around me for my whole life just so they stopped hurting me... that part of me is slowly dying because I've realized there is no way for me to fix people around me... if they get fixed they need to do it on their own... and most people around me do not want to get fixed... they think they are doing everything right and everyone else is to blame... the fun of being raised by narcissists :(
I also dragged out my university degree in programming for 5 years due to depression hitting hard, and also didn't manage to finish it properly, and also failed to salvage anything for a portfolio and now have messed up anxieties about coding that make it seem pretty impossible to get back on that horse. I just wanted to comment on how relatable that scenario is, and wish you luck figuring it out! I went looking for something else to do instead but have unfortunately realised depression and anxiety are just here to stay no matter what I try, so lately I have been thinking maybe I should just try and salvage the path I was on even if it takes me years and years to scrape back to where I was, at least I know I have those skills buried in there somewhere if I can just get through all the mental barriers I've put up. Hrm.
I can relate :( It's not even just doing those things, working hard.. it's all the baggage that is keeping you in place. I made the mistake of moving back to my parents and I feel like I was better off on my own as well. I hope you can find a way out, Lilija. I'm rooting for you.
I've had so many of the same type of things happen in my life. I'm 35 and it's only in the last 5 years or so I've started to make some progress my own well being. I hope for the best for everyone else out there whose had to deal with those types of issues.
Mine is one of that sort, didn´t matter what ive achieved. That wasnt the only thing, i also never fitted in with my peers. So nowadays ive to live with combined personality disorder. A grea tlife, really. I hate this fucking world.
True but high expectations also suck sometimes. For example I was always told I was very smart and capable. As I grew up playing a lot of video games I was often told that I was wasting my time and not being productive. Often enough my Dad and brother (after I moved out to his house) would be visibly upset when saying things like that. They believed I was I was capable of more than I have achieved but wasted it away. While it's true and knowing that they were trying to help, it had the opposite effect. It would make me feel bad at just the thought of doing productive things and would remind me that I wasted a lot of my time and potential already, which would reinforce my habit to play video games to avoid those negative feelings even more. I just recently realized that I was blocked on things I've always wanted to do but avoided because of those negative feelings.
True, my dad was a loser to be frank, didn't graduate high school, had a kid at 18, worked at Ford plant most of his life which is fine. But then as I grew up was pretty negative towards rich people, called them assholes and what not, he is bias and has severe anger issues. I Can't relate to him at all. Then he thinks low of mr because a lot of my opinions and views go against his because I'm very open minded unlike him
"Energy needs to go somewhere": one of the most stable periods in my life was when i took a martial arts class once a week. i felt like most if not all of my weekly emotions were channeled out that day, so i always felt kinda fresh emotionally. i was very lucky to have an understanding martial arts partner at that time, who willing to accept serious blows and kicks for me (and vice versa), i appreciate her very much.
This one has literally changed my life! People have said similar things but I wasn’t convinced until I heard “why”. There are nuances to how this is said that make all the difference. It’s so effective. Dr K knows how to distill complex information into simple and practical information, which is so higher level.
I dont ever comment, but just wanted to say, that you got one more stranger from another side of the world who is so very proud of You, just for having the courage to do this. You´ve helped SO many people. You´ve done more than most of us. Youŕe already a success !
This guy looks so sweet and comforting even though he has so much to struggle with. And Dr. K is right, he has a nice smile! Hope things will start moving forward for him
Props to Azrael for having the bravery to do this. Just the thought of having a therapy session in front of a live audience gets my heart rate up. I'm glad he did, though. So many of us deal with these same sorts of issues and it feels so isolating and hopeless. It's helpful to see someone else coming forward about the struggle and other people relating--thank you.
its kinda scary how close to home this talk hits. i have a lot of internal selfdoubt and an immense fear of failure that even got bigger and bigger with every semester of uni (lol... im pursuing a physics degree as well... what are the odds... xD) and corona didnt really help eighter. in fact it made things way worse, cause i had no external force that pressured me into the "i have to do this, despite my fear" type of thinking, while simultaniously pushing my fear away in the "just do it" kinda way. i guess thats where my "problem" is. I can brute force the "just do it" mentality with ignoring my fear, when the option to solve a task the "perfect" way got impossible (due to procastination or whatever...) and then the only viable option left is to do at least something. (cause anything is better, than failing without even trying) i always kept wondering why i could only overcome the vicious cycle of "wanting to find the perfect solution" when confronted with the absolutely devastating and terrifying reality that doing nothing would for sure end up in a failure and why i could never recreate a similar "experience" when working on my own with no external pressure. the answer to that is probably that i only acted, cause possibility of failing got literraly super real in those moments (kinda the only option unless i do something) and thus my fear of failure got bigger than the fear of an imperfect solution. which maybe sounds really fucked up, but it makes sense for me... kinda... so i guess i really have to work on adapting the new mindset of "having to do it inspite of (any) fear" and accepting the ugly unpleasant feeling of fear as a part of me, and not to interchage one fear for another to see which one gets me the closest to my destination without helping me to improve or change or adapt a healthy mindset. sorry for the rambling, i just wanted to jot down some thoughts so that i might remember them when i revisit this interview. because i will... :D ps: i kinda thought that the fear of failure and the fear of not finding the perfect solution were one and the same thing/fear, but i guess, at least for me, they are not... (well, they feel the exact same way physically (like fear always does...duh...^^), but have a slight difference in internal dialouge, if that makes any sense...) just another weird realisation i had during this beautiful interview...
Azrial, you’re awesome, thank you for the courage to show up. As I watched, I really wanted the conversation to end up with you knowing your own awesomeness and that’s what happened. Your giggle and smile made me so happy. Seeing you heal was healing to me. ❤❤❤❤
I hate that it's so common to hear the fear "If I mess up college/university, I mess up my life". It's such a sad reality many people feel. The stress of life is so huge.
I pretty much broke down for half a year in the middle of my first semester, because I didn't get anything and so much was happening. My mind was so fucked in these months that I legit believed I'd starve in a month because I wouldn't be able to continue/make money.
In one of the safest countries in terms of social support. Don't even wanna imagine what it'd be like for someone in America, who has to spend thousands for their education to begin with
I started failing some classes and contemplated killing myself because I would rather die than be stuck at a McDonald’s for the rest of my life. Glad I didn’t end up doing it.
Shyverin Same. Glad you’re still here
@@Shyverin Bro Im in a country with social security but zero job opportunity, I've been working at McDonald's since my 2nd year in uni. Now Ive graduated with a useless degree (because my parents pushed me to go to uni in the first place) and im glad I have this fast food job because it allows me to be financially independant and not give a fuck about anything except my passions (writing and other stuff). Go in, turn your brain off for 5 hours, go home and work on interesting stuff. Good deal for me. Never thought I'd reach personal happiness serving fries and shit but here we are lmao
@@leo88775 respect bro nothing wrong with working in fast food
This guy has such a kind and hurt face.
His set reaction to everything is
:)
@@arminosas Yeah, A very common reaction of nervousness and shyness... and also some lack of confidence
@@AbraHaze84 SOME? the guy had like no sense of agency.
@@dmas7749 wdym? He shared his own opinion like during the whole session and I mean you really do have to have confidence to open up about your private stuff online. Especially for people who have dealt with/have depression it takes a lot to do something like this and damn glad he did it! I wouldn't be able to.
@@brunoandrea4846 i said "like no", i was referring to mindset, which really comes out when he comes to his "destined to fail/destined to succeed" bits
I appreciate you doing interviews with non streamers. They are much more relatable and helpful.
Yeah, remember that pokiman or some sht?
I don’t only watch these videos to learn things about myself but the issues that other people may face in everyday life. If you don’t like when streamers come on, you should just not watch these streams because for a lot of us, they are 1. relatable (others don’t face the same issues as you do) and 2. help understand other people’s problem which in turn makes us more knowledgeable about human psychology which makes you able to help those with similar problems.
@@crimsonair8890I never said I did not like it when streamers come on.
I said I appreciate him doing interviews with "normal" people. As it is a sacrifice in growth for his platform.
He could keep doing big streamers and keep growing at a faster rate.
But as he said himself his goal is to help average joe gamers get better at life.
My favorite type of content are the lecture/webinar, ie not interview. I simply comment to let him know helps me.
Andy Nguyen Ah I see, sorry if I misunderstood your comment. Have a nice day! Although, keep in mind that there are some normal people who relate to some issues that streamers face, for instance Dr. K’s interview with Reckful (Rest in Piece btw) was the most helpful streams of his for me.
@@crimsonair8890 finally... a normal and nice conversation
I just want to give this dude a hug. He seems like a really kind person. There's so much pain and self-defeat here
thank you biden for the kind words
And do you wanna smell his hair?
That's generational trauma and pain too. Epigenetics. - Kinda like these trumbians are suffering from.
This was one of the most relatable interviews for me. Struggling in college with no support from family, trying to cope in a way that everything you do must be perfect, leave no room for the chance of failure and get so caught up in trying to be perfect that you end up doing nothing due to the fear of failure. Just stay inside where its safe.
Kudos to Ezreal for coming on and sharing his thoughts, Im sure it helped some of us!
yeah same here last year of college and its so terrifying
much love
I collapsed during universety in that way
Yeah same, talked a lot about it with a psychologist friend recently, this couldn't come at a better time
Been that way most of my life, ain't even out of high school. I'm honestly scared of watching this video for what it might say about me
It breaks my heart to see how many 20-somethings smile and laugh while trying to talk about painful stuff. It's almost like the last generation of parents didn't know how to deal with uncomfortable emotions, so their kids (us) taught themselves to cope by bein' all like "Haha, I'm fine! Don't worry about me lmao! Nothing wrong here lolololol. I'm not traumatised teehee~".
I feel sad for laughing a little at this. I wish it wasn't true though...
Yes. I was taught not to share opinions/argue because it made my Mom get nervous. She took it all as "fighting" even though the rest of us including my Dad disagreed that this was fighting. So I have trouble accessing assertiveness or sharing my opinion years later. 😞 I'm in therapy.
Don't know if it's specifically the parents, but I agree with the state of the generation. I was playing a game last week where everyone had to draw a meme to represent their lives, and about half the people picked the dog with its house on fire saying "this is fine".
@@arielperez3434 what age group was this? I’m really curious if it was people in their mid-20’s to early 30’s or if it was people in their teenage years.
@@DropIt56 late 20s - early 30s
The reason we _overthink_ is to alleviate _fear_ from ourselves, but the more we think - the smarter we are - the more possibilities our minds generate about how things can go wrong, and it's a vicious cycle. This solution of overthinking our minds sometimes comes up with is actually the *very problem* that keeps us paralyzed. You will never overcome your fear of failure; you act in spite of it.
When you start acting *in spite of* things, instead of trying to fix them before you act, then you'll stop being stuck. Because you want to fix everything before you do anything.
*Confidence is about acting in the face of uncertainty because you believe that you can manage what comes.*
I needed this.
i dont understand half the words in this comment.
Thanks for the kick right in the f*ckin feels. 🤣
Yeah, I also needed that.
Possibly tattoo it to my brain while we're at it. So I dont forget this.
Reminds me of the QTCinderella talk.
I've been struggling a lot with this. I always think of all the scariest ways I could die.
I'm scared of locking rooms incase the lock doesn't open again.
I'm scared of elevators because there's a chance they can get stuck.
I'm scared of heights because I imagine myself falling down.
This shit kinda sucks
@@biggiesmallsgamerle4she276 I basically started taking notes from 1:36:53 and pasted them down here, maybe if you go over that part a couple of times you will understand it more! Good luck.
Dude, I am fucking afraid to drive a car. I managed to get my license, but barely. 7 years ago.
Haven't driven since.
I am more afraid of hurting others while driving than hurting myself...
"Start where you ARE AT, NOT where you think you should be." - mindblown
"It sounds you're familiar with Fantasy, are you familiar with Hope."
DAMN, that line was good
Dr.K has dropped so many bars, I had to stop writing them down, because, otherwise I don't have space for my own thoughts in my notebook.
We should have more "non streamers" on stream. Very relatable guy
I like all kinds of guests, its a good reminder that people have very similar problems irregardless of where they come from and even if you don't 100% relate it still gives you important insight.
Agreed. I feel that everyone will take something away from each stream no matter how small, and sometimes it can be eye opening. I personally have learnt most from non-streamers, but streamers can provide powerful insight too. I love this community, please be kind to yourselves
while not the flashiest or most dramatic interview Dr K has ever done, I feel like this is one of the best. This guy is so relatable and articulated so many common behaviors and thought patterns. Great watch, with some really good stuff
agreed 100% i usually watch the interviews in a pop out window but this one got all my attention and watched it in fullscreen just watching and relating.
" If you're gonna do something, go all out. Don't be afraid to fail, I mean how far can you fall look at the ground it's right here. "
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
Damn bro that is so deep and compassionat. Especially coming from a genetic freak like arnold. Changed my life.
Arnold schwarze what?
@@an1average2guy when he called him a genetic freak I think he meant in a good way
Arnold is incredible. Even at his ripe old age he is in better shape than me. The guy worked his ass off (even if he too PEDs). One of the only celebrities I'll use as a role model
@@bramancronin8013 yeah hes truly an inspiration, and even though he used PEDs he definitely did not abuse them or else he would have not looked nearly as aesthetic
This was one of the most genuine guests. He really was well-spoken and truthful about his thought, at least it felt so to me.
Really hope life works out for you my friend.
Kinda want the modpack link now
nice pfp
Ikr, he's so nice, oh my god. Have a lot of sympathy for him and he's so relatable, makes me feel really sorry for him.
that's part of the fear of failure- choosing words carefully as to not upset your conversation partner
This kid is truly an angel - "I'm not an angry person, I tend to sympathize with others even if they've done me wrong."
Speaking from those who watched this: we'll always be in your corner, man. What you're feeling is normal and you are strong & brave for what you have been through. Do not belittle your experiences because someone else may have it worse. You are so important too. We've got your back on your journey and you will never disappoint us. Thanks for putting yourself out there and allowing others to relate. Through understanding together, we are stronger. :)
He ran(moved) away from the catalyst, started living his life, improving but the patterns followed.
I'm not an angry person, I tend to sympathise with other even if they’ve done me wrong
i find it so crazy how unbelievably relatable ezreal is - to me, at least. i'm sitting here crying my eyes out every time he drops a statement and my immediate reaction is "holy shit, yes, exactly that". i don't even know if "respect" is strong enough of a word for what i have for this guy for being so open on freaking stream but i can say with 2000% certainty that i feel him. he deserves all the good that he receives in life!
Duke Nukem may have balls of steel.
But this dude's got twice the weight for doing this.
@@twoserpents2457 Tungsten nuts?
@@alexandramaclachlan7597 hah! Yeah!!
Lmao! 🤣
This might be one of the bravest interviews I've seen. Most of the interviews are people in the public eye, and this man comes on with all his fear and problems and does amazing.
As an anxious extremely undecided college dropout this definitely hits home a little bit.
Being suffocated by indecision and fear of failure is not a fun time. and the longer i can't decide the less time it feels i have to make things work. We're with you homie.
I feel the same way. Find what your interest are and try to make a business out of it. Mine was vidoe games, I am good generally but live by myself can't afford to try to stream, I could go the youtube route but it just isn't me. Instead I decided to make a business, started out just a Facebook page doing pc repair(sometimes it was just old people's computers updating windows or replacing hard drives) i eventually started going to businesses offering services, I now set up POS for restaurants, manage a charter schools IT, contracted 2 vets that I get paid a monthly retaining fea to maintain their IT/servers. I make about 3000 a month passively just to maintain some problems for business, then I get contacted for set up fees for different businesses which are decent pay outs to, all in the span of 1 year. I'm telling you find whatever your interest are and dive in head first and you will flourish.
@@XTen1000DaysX That's amazing.
Try living with that fear your whole adult life. And before you know it you're almost 40 and still lost
@@XTen1000DaysX what if nothing interests you enough for that. Too bmany interests to decide on and then not having any confidence in yourself to try because you're scared to fail. The sad part is there's no guarantee in life and it sucks. If there was some sort of guarantee that you won't fail it make what you said easier
@@jamesgentry13 I can relate to what you say. I got studio equipment almost 4 years ago but I still haven’t learned to use it despite having the resources. I keep messing up my life for no logical reason.
Hes constantly smiling but with a sad smile. People who do this are very broken.
True. I see desperation in his smile and that really makes me sad. Just wish this man the best.
I cried
i think it might be a fawn response, a coping mechanism related to trauma
@@isabella7p exactly what I thought as well, seems highly likely, I feel very sorry for him ;(.
I had a similar pain. But instead of my smile, which was softer than his, I used to laugh in confrontations especially if the other person raised their voice.
Ezreal's smile is the tail end of a "toxic positivity," but I've seen 2 / 3rds of that in people like Jacksepticeye.
You can physically see how this man has never told a soul about his problems. The entire time his awkwardly smiling and laughing because his still not sold on being this vulnerable to anybody. It’s like his still holding his hands up just waiting for the hits to come. I can extremely relate to this because that was exactly how I was like.
Lemme express that I’m still going through it, but I’d like to think I’m getting better.
Oh my god I was hurting right from the start on this one. You can tell he's such a kind, sensitive person, but the world has just chewed him up and spit him out.
I know!! 🥺 he's so sweet and innocent aww
He doesn't deserve this! He's so capable and God he's just being crushed
I'm kind of addicted to Dr. K's interviews. They're very calming in a way. You hear the people he interviews talk about their problems and you relate to them and realise you're not alone, and they should know that they're not alone. And Dr. K just listens to them and has a open and honest discussion with them. I know they're just discussions and not meant to 'fix' people, but he always talks so much sense with so much confidence but without being condescending. He's the best thing that happened to twitch and youtube in a very long time. Thank you for everything you and your team do!
Kudos to Ezreal for coming on, it takes courage to talk about your problems so openly to the world.
AoE healing is a wonderful/powerful thing
Yeah me too. I've been listening to them as background noise while working or gaming.
Yeah I listen to these when on long walks
this dude is literally me wtf
me too
This is so me
*Is this video a personal attack or something ?* x}
This comment (and replies on it) made me realise, we all are not so different afterall (or the circumstances we've been through)
@@mchatin8862 My main difference with the guy is that where he do not feel that much anger, I have an immense amount of hatred bottled up in my heart linked to past harassment in college
I admire this young man for being so courageous to share his session online. I want to tell him that he is not alone in having the feelings he feels. As a 62 year old I want to assure him that failing some college courses in his early 20s (or younger) does not mean he screwed up his whole life, even though he feels that way.
This guys soft-spoken personality is so likable
As a perfectionist, the way my therapist helped me break it down was showing me her failures. DR. K is someone who society would deem as successful but hes also someone who failed to get there. When my therapist told me her story, it made me realize how much I lacked social experience...how just getting to know others can really help you feel less alone
This interview feels like a free trial therapy session to many of us.
and just copy past all the problem we have for us.
If only therapy was actually this good 😢
what a beautiful wholesome person. world would be better off with more people like him. also Dr. K dropped some nuggets: "You can control your actions, but you can't control the outcomes" and "I don't need you to be perfect I just need you to be you".
This is something I don't understand. We don't control 100% of outcome but we can definitely imrpove the chances. Let's say you have assignments you need to finish to pass a course. It's definitely not fair to say that people who turn in the assignment and people who don't have the same chance of passing. In that sense you could say that you turning in the assignment improves you chances for better outcome which means controlling the outcome to a small degree.
@@Sixvo Yup, I completely agree with your nuanced point. To phrase it more accurately, I would say that we definitely have some influence over outcomes, but most of our control lies in our actions. This is an important distinction because there are numerous factors that go into determining an outcome, the majority of which are beyond one's immediate control. The only person that controls your actions though (assuming you live in a free state and are not violating the rights of others) is you. When you learn to focus on your actions instead of your outcomes, it helps reduce the feelings of disappointment that will inevitably arise when life doesn't turn out the way you expected or desired. Dr. K is talking about a framework of operating in life. To essentially focus on what you can control and to learn to let go of the rest. Beating yourself up because you didn't get a good grade on an assignment doesn't help. Instead focus on how you can study different and prepare better next time. If you're interested in this concept look into "process oriented versus results oriented approaches."
@@Sixvo I believe the idea is more so that yes, of course your actions can lead to the outcomes you want to achieve but we still cannot fully control the outcome. For example, let's say you go for a job. You can do everything possible to prep for interviews and show off a portfolio of previous work or whatever the case may be and yes, by putting your best foot forward, you give yourself a better chance of reaching the outcome that is "obtaining said job" but you do not actually control it. You may not get the job no matter what you do but that does not mean that it is necessarily a failure on your part.
Applying to a job as an artist or auditioning for a role as an actor for example, you may put in an incredible portfolio or an amazing audition. You may have done everything right, performed brilliant or had super interesting and technically amazing art but perhaps the take on the character or your specific art style was not what they wanted for this specific project so you don't get the job. It's not necessarily because you were bad in any way or failed so in general, all we can do is our best. If all we focus on is the outcome, we will likely live very unhappy lives. We have to accept that all we can do is our best in any given situation but we can't actually control what comes of doing our best.
@@Sixvo so you looked at controlling your actions, not the outcome. Basically, don't worry about the outcome, worry about your actions.
@@Sixvo correct, you control the action of completing an assignment, you do not control if the teacher likes the paper, and trying to write the perfect paper won't work.
You control the paper, and its being submitted. Outside of that the reaction to it is out of your control, which for someone like Azreal is an important revelation.
1:00:06 "A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow." - George S. Patton
Wow didn't know how much I needed this quote until I saw it !! thanks man :)
Physics broke my soul. it took me 7 years and multiple breakdowns to finish my degree.. it is not something you switch to if you're not doing well in school. I wish you all the best Ezreal, I hope you take some time for yourself and finish whatever you chose to pursue.
@@fietspompje259 yes
I think he's trying to combat his hopelessness with passion. we'll see how it goes.
Yeah i was in engineering and it was the physics that destroyed me too, A cold and tough subject that can be really frustrating to try to understand.
ryanguy6789 the problem with physics is if you don’t understand the base concepts of a class, or get behind, then you’re in trouble. It’s heavily built off other modules. In one of my grade 12 physics classes, we had 2 hours of lectures a day, two classes worth of info, every day for 5 days. If you didn’t understand day 1 you’d be completely lost by day 3, and in a bad place by Friday.
I spend 2x the in class time out of class to understand the concepts. The class started with 30 people and ended with ~4. 10 people dropped out in the first week, and then they trickled out over the next two months. I graduated with a 84%, but I could have easily gotten left behind had I not been able to do that outside of class work.
@@slopcrusher3482 Nice job! I think physics is a subject that some people can get and for others, it's much harder. It's problem solving with all kinds of equations and variables and some do better with that "puzzle solving" kind of thinking than others. I agree, I actually took AP Physics in high school and while I didn't like it, I got through, but once I made it to the college level stuff, it was over for me. You are right that it builds upon itself and therefore if you start falling behind, it's hard to play catch up, which differs from other studies.
1:39:44 This is quite funny because when I decided joining the gym, I was 3 months making pushups in my home to prepare myself for it.
He looked defeated at the beginning but left the interview confident 🙏🏼🥺👏🏼
The smile and look in his eyes, trying to hide his pain and hurt is so sad to see. Watching him describe his life at home makes me wish so badly that I could’ve been there for hmm. He has such a kind and warm soul. I really hope he is doing better now, he deserves happiness.
cptsd is a crippling monster and i’ve struggled with many of the things he’s talked about for pretty much ever. i feel so alone most of the time but this helped me so much. Thank you
I’m so sorry. I too have CPTSD and ADHD and that paralysis of both feeding into each other is so terrible. I really hope things are working out well for you in your world. I’d love to help others with CPTSD and I really hope things are great in your world. I know RUclips comment notifications are a bit bugged but if you ever need to vent, I’m here and can understand and empathize with you.
"As a human being, you're entitled to your actions. You are not entitled to your results."
I am so glad I found this channel today, and need to hang that quote on my door or something. And massive kudos to this for sharing his vulnerability with us.
Gah.. I want nothing more than to just give this man a hug. His story resonates and his pain is real, it’s almost too difficult to watch knowing I can’t provide any comfort. But I’m not even halfway through this so I’ll continue on~
"You do the thing you're afraid of, then the fear goes away, not the other way around"
28:19 This is one advice that resonated deeply within me. It was taught everywhere, but I had never taken it seriously "Take actions based on where you are, not based on where you should be"
I love how patient and compassionate this psychiatrist is. Giving this young man space to think, speak and rewire his system 🙏 This channel is so rich in learning materials, thank you doctor, really appreciating you and your work 🤍🙏🍀
As a 40+ year old woman, this kid could be my facsimile. I 100% relate and am stuck in the same mental anguish even after all these years.
It's never too late!
same!
I'm 13 mins in. The way Ezreal talks and his smile really reminds me of myself - it's really relatable. And the trouble talking on the phone with people. I already know this one will be great.
I was thinking the same thing, listening to this interview it reminds me so much of how I used to be. I definitely still carry part of that with me but it feels reassuring to know I came from a place like this and it makes me believe damn well he can come out of that place too. Hell he finished high school so he's already made it further than me, let alone getting into college, I have plenty of confidence he'll be able to figure it out. The fact that he came on to get some help figuring it out tells me already he'll figure it out.
@@QuadroMan1 It's nice to hear that to some degree you've been able to overcome it! Gives me some hope too. It's really difficult to get past that mindset that the perfect plan is not the only good option and to try again despite fully knowing it might all go to shit
@@QuadroMan1 Hey bro, it's great that you've found a way to get better. What were the main things you worked on to get out of these thinking patterns, if you don't mind me asking?
Phones are scary
I relate too much
The smile got me the most. For too long I put up that smile on my face but it really shows that there is a lot of suffering behind it. Alas, most people can't or simply don't care to see.
He's so brave to come on to the stream!
Personal notes:
- Act in spite of having fear. You have more control of your actions than the outcome
- Overthinking involves generating numerous possibilities and trying to explore them to see which one holds the best outcome, which means you'll take longer than usual to act
^- One solution is to stick with a good enough solution, because trial and error will help in the long run
As someone that’s training to be a counsellor, Dr K is absolutely excellent at person centred therapy, it’s very inspiring to watch
This is so relatable. I had an overprotective mother who literally came to my class and told people to stop bullying me, it went to shit after that, then i changed schools at 6th grade (my mothers desition without consulting me beforehand), lost all my friends and ended up alone in my bedroom with Super Mario Sunshine, The end.
I am 25 years old now with anger and resentment, but this sure did help me!
At least it was a good game
@@Billyb0bjoe hell yeah it was!
good audio book Pete Walker "Complex PTSD "
This channel is the best thing that happened to RUclips so far IMO
this one resonated with me so much. Being part of an asian household, I had high expectations of me to do well university. When I fell short and under performed in college and felt the need to switch majors, I felt like I wasted so much time, money, and expectations that my parents bestowed on me. Now I am in a position where I feel rushed to make only the right decisions, and any wrong or non-perfect life decisions will only waste more time and money out of my family's pockets. Thank you fort this interview, it helped me out quite a bit.
Don't worry, all will be fine. Be selfish for once and think about what you want.
I switched majors. Had two major depressive episodes and had zero emotional support from my father. I spent 7 years in college. I graduated in 2019. And guess what? I'm doing perfectly well at work. No one ever asked me about grades nor years. I work with older people and younger people. Get help if you feel the need to, but be assured that a those years are no waste. They are what they are and srly no one at work cares or even asks.
I can't help but tear up when Dr. K says such nice things to someone who can't under any circumstance see them for themselves. It takes him the whole session to get them there and it's really heartwarming to see a little bit of the weight being lifted by having someone who has taken the time to understand what they're feeling, without judging, and being kind to them.
Ezreal's problems were super relatable. I took that feeling of perfectionism to the point of inaction and dropped out of college my freshman year. I struggled along for a year afterwards and wondered what the point was.
It's tough and the only thing you can do is tell yourself that you WILL do better and you will find a way that makes you motivated.
I went from a prospective Math major dropout to an Accounting Master's student. I realized that I'd never have the motivation to put in hours every week to achieve what I want, so I changed my major and did something that I knew I could achieve.
Being an adult is about using your skill set and motivations to achieve what works for you. Sometimes you realize that you don't want to do what you think you SHOULD do. Find what you CAN do, and become good at that.
I grew up playing Runescape and WoW, I found that I like long, repetitive grinds. Most of my day-to-day work is that same long, repetitive grind.
"Level up your fear resistance." - Dr. K.
Words to live for.
but how? that's the answer we need
1:28:00-1:28:15 I'm bawling my eyes out, the fear of failure is so intense but it's been holding me back for a lot of things I want to accpmplish...maybe it's the right time for a leap of faith, and fuck whatever happens
How'd the leap of faith go?
Obligatory reminder to do the leap or like this comment if you have done it.
Can you give us an update?
Update pls
My highlights:
57:27 "You have a fear of failure, and the reason you think is to get rid of the fear of failure, because if you can find that perfect solution where there is no chance of failure, then do you need to have fear?"
1:10:10 "Notice this* pattern in yourself and then as best as you can try to set it aside in the tiniest ways."
(*) this being the 57:27 pattern of trying to think up the perfect solution to avoid fear.
1:10:30 "Run a little experiment. All of your current hypotheses are based on the data of the past. And what I would really love it if you could do is collect your own [data] that does not involve your stepfather. [...] Run a fucking experiment without [your stepfather]. 'Cause I can almost guarantee you: it's gonna give you different data. Your sense of confidence in yourself is based on like him interfering with your fucking experiment."
1:11:21 "Did your stepfather think you were a good cook? / I didn't cook much / Fascinating! It's almost as if you like learned good things and life skills when he wasn't around."
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable with us, Azrael, there is so much in what you say that resonates. And I'm a 55 year old German woman. Family dynamics and their impact on our own self image, self worth, and our capacity to allow good stuff (and also grief for what will never be) into our life can't be overrated. I'm happy you got to have this conversation with wizard Dr K. Thank you both❤
1:14:01 “I don’t need you to be perfect, I just need you to be YOU.” 🥺
That hit me like a ton of bricks.
His response to "I'm not hearing anger from you" had me in tears. I feel so much compassion for this guy.
This left me feeling like a battered housewife. I've got a lot of boundaries to set and distance to make. Bye RUclips
Godspeed, Cody
I have a lot of compassion and appreciation for this poor guy. He’s a victim of his circumstances and naturally feels overwhelmed and not in control of his life. I certainly can relate to him. I hope he is helped and can break out of this horrible cycle of negativity. Best wishes to him.
In a nutshell this is me.
I feel anxious talking to people
I feel like a dissapointment
I over - analyze everything
Im afraid of failing
Im still learning not to be too hard on myself
I used music to escape my problems and reality and to express myself
I feel hopeless on my channel bc of people hates my content
I just feel lost....
Everything before the last 2.
I feel you.
Message me if you wanna talk about it, i used to feel exactly the same (still do sometimes but much better now)
and have improved majorly on all that.
How? Mostly by trial and error, you need to unlearn these false belief systems. You're worthy.
@@rastitrading awww thank you so much 💖😊
Im doing much better now
Its been 2 months since commenting on this and im thankful for everyone who helped me to keep on doing what i love...
@@mawielimbo That is so great to hear! :) It's crazy how when we're in the middle of feeling that way, everything seems like its destined to be that way and that we're a lost cause. Truth is there's so much potential in us, we just have to realize it.
Take care and keep doing what you're doing which is making you feel better and loved.
And you're still going in spite of it all.
I say you're doing a pretty good job.
Comparing 'overthinking' to poking ever more holes in your tyre, trying to fill it up...👀💡💯
Also: 'When you act despite your fear of failure, rather then trying to fix your fear of failure before acting.... that's when you start making progress'. I should put that on my coffee mug, so I'm reminded of it every morning!
He seems like such a friendly guy. I would like to be friends with him
When you spend most of your life hiding your real self, you lose who you are and become just the pursuit of hiding your real self. Kinda like if you wore a mask your entire life and then took it off one day you wouldn't recognise yourself.
I think that's what happened to me. I used to be this kid but the only difference is I never found help. I was still 12 and then all of a sudden I just didn't recognize myself in the mirror anymore.
The only solution to this problem is accept who you now are and develop into who you want to be. That is, if you keep your mask off.
Dr. K should do follow ups with his guests and see how’ve they changed from their first appearance on the podcast. Not only it will be a productive self reflection for the guest, but also a chance for us viewers to see and understand real people’s evolutions over a period of time.
Massive props to this young man for opening himself up, on a live stream no less. You’re bravery and grace is inspirational
This is the exact journey I am on. I know what I've found is that the overthinking goes hand in hand with me being an expert distractor (video games, movies, RUclips, etc.) I've been trying to face these fears and not just distracted hard enough that they are buried.
Thank you for sharing man. Not being alone and seeing other people working on this is powerful.
i LOVE when he keeps saying "my dude". Just warms my frickin heart. This talk really helped me and I think I'm going to take steps to see a therapist. I hope they are 1/4 as good as Dr. K
Don't hesitate. Maybe you won't get the perfect fit of a therapist at once. But it's worth it. Therapy literally saved my life a bit over five years ago. Please, don't give up on trying to get better. It does get better ❤
I’m 29. I cried this entire video. We have almost exact life stories to the point it’s haunting. (Just opposite genders). This episode was so therapeutic for me because I have come out on the other side much more healed from the situation, I was in before, and I just cried for him, and I’m just so hopeful that if he is anything like me, he will heal as well. He seems like such a nice guy and I really wish the best for him. I’m just crying for him because he just deserves the world and I hope he knows that.
Less than 10 minutes in and I already relate so fucking much. Inability to talk on the phone, fear of failure, hiding things from family, not applying for jobs due to feeling like I won't get it anyway, disappointed dad, ignoring problems... I literally relate with every problem
Fuck
When he said "I don't think it's as much as some people go through" that hit really hard because it's something I also tell myself too and I realize that might be true but it doesn't invalidate what I've been through
This speaks to me on a spiritual level. I overanalyse everything, I always find complicated things easy and simple things hard.
Yet another case of parents utterly failing their children.
I'm so sick of bad parents. This guy is obviously smart and thoughtful and sharp, but he's wracked with nerves and has no confidence in himself because his parents are awful.
It’s a cycle how do you think his parents’ parents were and so on.
Do you think parents are handed a Manuel upon having a child?
That's not how it works. Stops being resentful and faulting others. Shit happens and a parent can never guarantee that their child will be mentally healthy after 18 years. Parents provide a lot for their children but when it comes to the mind it's not half as much as we think it is.
@@kohvazein7798 A parent license must be required before you make children cuz when they fail in life they become a burden to society or worse, a threat
@@kohvazein7798 your dumb af, generalizing that "parents provide a lot" is incredibly presumptuous and not even close to always accurate. Parents choose to have a child(aside from rape), the child is owed the care the parents provide after they choose to have the child. Parents treating providing for their children as a privilege is toxic and incredibly unhealthy. It is not a privilege, it is a right that a child is owed by their parents.
@@kohvazein7798 yes often the scenario is difficult or impossible for parents to control however presuming that is the case for all is just foolish. And that is exactly what you sign up for when you decide to have a child. Unless your an ignorant idiot you should realize having a child is very very difficult and at least try and prepare for it.
Damn, I've always been told I smile and laugh when I talk about pain, so strange to see it reflected in someone else. Wish I could be this guys friend.
Haven't watched yet, but fear of failure, over analyzing, escaping into fantasy... All three are literally me.
Wow. Just wow. I wish I could like this video 1 billion times over. I feel like so many people on the internet are going to really relate to Ezreals story. (sorry if that's spelt wrong) I know I did. I dealt with a bit of emotional abuse myself having a bipolar mother, constantly being worried about what's going to trigger her because once she flipped the switch and was angry, there was really no getting her out of that angry state. A major issue between us was, well still is, communication. She loves to expect things, such as chores, but also things like apologies or for me to know as a 30 year old now, that she needs me without her asking or telling me so. She reacts off of emotion while I tend to react off of logic (unless we're in the heat of the moment then we're both being completely irrational and no one is listening). I'm trying to set up boundaries with her, I have a hard time with boundaries and figuring out how they work when it comes to my immediate family. I can very easily cut people out of my life, but I know I shouldn't and can't do that to my Mom, but I need more space then she's willing to give and it has left me in a state of not responding to her messages. It make's me feel shitty somedays but I know that it's the inner voice that I'm constantly beating myself up with. I've been working on forgiveness, not being so angry, and overall not being such a dick to myself. If you read all of this, thanks, I think I needed a good vent after watching this video.
I can relate to your problems. Sometimes when one person changes for the better the other does too, because the whole relationship dynamic changes. I wish you both all the best
This guy worked through in a session what it took me darn near a decade to piece together between self-reflection and random youtube videos. I hope he took it to heart.
i'd be this guys friend he's lovely
Had to give this a rewatch after watching it live, this one was so nice
Man I wish Dr. K knew how deep the Dark Souls reference was for me.😶
I played DS1 DS2 DS3 as they released, as Deprived.
I've made 9 different characters in Dark Souls 3. Each as deprived. I would usually ignore weapons I've played with before and try new things each time.
This just made me realize how adaptive I can be. Aswell it taught me how to play my best.
The game made me a better gamer and in the background taught me to approach every problem from different angles.
It also showed me I'm not afraid of obstacles in the game because I know I will find a problem. Yet in life I can replicate this, but the only thing that stops me is my ego/fear of others thoughts and I let it. But I can also stop it, if I learn to..
I'd never had expected it would have affects on my actual life.
Well damn, I'm just going to start seeing hateful people as enemies in dark souls and that they are just obstacles to get pass quickly. Not violently.. and not with a wooden club... 🤣
Sorry for the essay..
Thank you for leading me to this revelation, Dr. K. Stay awesome!
Not even 3 minutes into the conversation and I’m sobbing. I relate to everything he says and going through.
Please, now that it gets better. I'm getting very personal here. But I was going through this same pattern of thought about 10 years ago. I even considered suicide many times... I started therapy, and been in it for over five years. My life has changed. Please don't give up on getting better! ❤
Ohh my god! I'm only a few seconds into the vid, and I just wanna say you immediately seem like a really sweet person, and I just wanna give you a big hug!!!
Omg he is so me
Phones are scary
I am waiting for my success train
I like my clean and pure fantasies
The most relatable talk on the channel for me
I really hope he has read this comment thread. There are so many supportive people here. It is a beautiful thing to see. He is incredibly brave to put himself out there like this and I hope he is able to apply some of the things he learned here today.
Some notes :
When you don't let anger go anywhere, it accumulates and starts to go towards yourself.
• "If I can figure out the perfect solution , it'll be alright ".how can I find the perfect solution. this is due to fear of failure
• You don't control the outcome so don't focus on it
Solutions
▪︎Recognise the fear. Try to act while embracing the fact that sometimes you won't be able to do what you need to it . But ask yourself can I do it anyway . Look at the times when you did that and succeeded and realise that maybe I didn't need to worry that's how you develop confidence
I can so relate. Emotionally unstable household, divorced parents, overwhelming fear of failure. Ended up as a university drop out cause depression started hitting hard at the end. I was actually trying to finish my major for 5 years but felt like trying to break a wall with my head. 15 years in therapy, mostly going well and I've been turning my life around a lot. Tho recently I feel stuck again. Not happy with my job. Realized there is no way I can fix my family and I am getting to the decision to try sever ties with them cause they are toxic. The hard part is that I am working with my mother and she is big part of me not being happy with my job... tho for sure not the only one. I have a path to change a job. I took a java course last year, realized I remember much more from uni than I suspected but the closer to the end the I started feeling more doubt. To make it worse, at the end of the course I fell sick and didn't finish my project that was supposed to be the base to build my portfolio on. Since that moment I cannot make myself to code. I am not sure if it's the path I want. I would so much more prefer to go into psychology or philosophy as those things really fascinate me. But I kinda still need money to pay the bills. So I'm stuck... and really angry at my family not really for fucking up my life in my childhood but doing those things over and over again. Blaming me for my failures and not taking any shred of responsibility and still expecting me to be their emotional sponge I used to be for 38 years of my life.
EDIT: i just got to the part when he talks about seeing things from other people's perspective because if he helps them they will stop hurting him... I want to hug him... but to be fair I really want to hug myself... and I'm just staring to have tears in my eyes cause I was trying to fix people around me for my whole life just so they stopped hurting me... that part of me is slowly dying because I've realized there is no way for me to fix people around me... if they get fixed they need to do it on their own... and most people around me do not want to get fixed... they think they are doing everything right and everyone else is to blame... the fun of being raised by narcissists :(
I also dragged out my university degree in programming for 5 years due to depression hitting hard, and also didn't manage to finish it properly, and also failed to salvage anything for a portfolio and now have messed up anxieties about coding that make it seem pretty impossible to get back on that horse. I just wanted to comment on how relatable that scenario is, and wish you luck figuring it out! I went looking for something else to do instead but have unfortunately realised depression and anxiety are just here to stay no matter what I try, so lately I have been thinking maybe I should just try and salvage the path I was on even if it takes me years and years to scrape back to where I was, at least I know I have those skills buried in there somewhere if I can just get through all the mental barriers I've put up. Hrm.
I can relate :( It's not even just doing those things, working hard.. it's all the baggage that is keeping you in place. I made the mistake of moving back to my parents and I feel like I was better off on my own as well. I hope you can find a way out, Lilija. I'm rooting for you.
I've had so many of the same type of things happen in my life. I'm 35 and it's only in the last 5 years or so I've started to make some progress my own well being. I hope for the best for everyone else out there whose had to deal with those types of issues.
This kid is so much stronger than he knows! ❤
Props to both Dr. K and Ezreal. A remarkable interview on both ends. I think this interview will help and a ton of people, myself included.
what a gentle, beautiful soul. genuinely wishing the best for this man
To everyone commenting on how relatable this is: I feel you.
I hate dads that don’t believe in their sons.
Or dads that only believe their sons can be good at certain things
Mine is one of that sort, didn´t matter what ive achieved. That wasnt the only thing, i also never fitted in with my peers. So nowadays ive to live with combined personality disorder. A grea tlife, really. I hate this fucking world.
I fucking agree with u man.
True but high expectations also suck sometimes. For example I was always told I was very smart and capable. As I grew up playing a lot of video games I was often told that I was wasting my time and not being productive. Often enough my Dad and brother (after I moved out to his house) would be visibly upset when saying things like that. They believed I was I was capable of more than I have achieved but wasted it away.
While it's true and knowing that they were trying to help, it had the opposite effect. It would make me feel bad at just the thought of doing productive things and would remind me that I wasted a lot of my time and potential already, which would reinforce my habit to play video games to avoid those negative feelings even more. I just recently realized that I was blocked on things I've always wanted to do but avoided because of those negative feelings.
True, my dad was a loser to be frank, didn't graduate high school, had a kid at 18, worked at Ford plant most of his life which is fine. But then as I grew up was pretty negative towards rich people, called them assholes and what not, he is bias and has severe anger issues. I Can't relate to him at all. Then he thinks low of mr because a lot of my opinions and views go against his because I'm very open minded unlike him
"Energy needs to go somewhere": one of the most stable periods in my life was when i took a martial arts class once a week. i felt like most if not all of my weekly emotions were channeled out that day, so i always felt kinda fresh emotionally. i was very lucky to have an understanding martial arts partner at that time, who willing to accept serious blows and kicks for me (and vice versa), i appreciate her very much.
This one has literally changed my life! People have said similar things but I wasn’t convinced until I heard “why”. There are nuances to how this is said that make all the difference. It’s so effective. Dr K knows how to distill complex information into simple and practical information, which is so higher level.
I dont ever comment, but just wanted to say, that you got one more stranger from another side of the world who is so very proud of You, just for having the courage to do this. You´ve helped SO many people. You´ve done more than most of us. Youŕe already a success !
I want to give him a big hug, you deserve the best I’m so sorry you went through all this.
Ezreal, keep your head up g. Keep on smiling, and be confident in yourself. I believe in you and so does everyone else here.
This guy looks so sweet and comforting even though he has so much to struggle with. And Dr. K is right, he has a nice smile! Hope things will start moving forward for him
its amazing how you can find pieces of intense relatability in all of these interviews. just shows how much we all have in common.
Props to Azrael for having the bravery to do this. Just the thought of having a therapy session in front of a live audience gets my heart rate up. I'm glad he did, though. So many of us deal with these same sorts of issues and it feels so isolating and hopeless. It's helpful to see someone else coming forward about the struggle and other people relating--thank you.
its kinda scary how close to home this talk hits.
i have a lot of internal selfdoubt and an immense fear of failure that even got bigger and bigger with every semester of uni (lol... im pursuing a physics degree as well... what are the odds... xD) and corona didnt really help eighter. in fact it made things way worse, cause i had no external force that pressured me into the "i have to do this, despite my fear" type of thinking, while simultaniously pushing my fear away in the "just do it" kinda way.
i guess thats where my "problem" is. I can brute force the "just do it" mentality with ignoring my fear, when the option to solve a task the "perfect" way got impossible (due to procastination or whatever...) and then the only viable option left is to do at least something. (cause anything is better, than failing without even trying)
i always kept wondering why i could only overcome the vicious cycle of "wanting to find the perfect solution" when confronted with the absolutely devastating and terrifying reality that doing nothing would for sure end up in a failure and why i could never recreate a similar "experience" when working on my own with no external pressure.
the answer to that is probably that i only acted, cause possibility of failing got literraly super real in those moments (kinda the only option unless i do something) and thus my fear of failure got bigger than the fear of an imperfect solution. which maybe sounds really fucked up, but it makes sense for me... kinda...
so i guess i really have to work on adapting the new mindset of "having to do it inspite of (any) fear" and accepting the ugly unpleasant feeling of fear as a part of me, and not to interchage one fear for another to see which one gets me the closest to my destination without helping me to improve or change or adapt a healthy mindset.
sorry for the rambling, i just wanted to jot down some thoughts so that i might remember them when i revisit this interview. because i will... :D
ps: i kinda thought that the fear of failure and the fear of not finding the perfect solution were one and the same thing/fear, but i guess, at least for me, they are not... (well, they feel the exact same way physically (like fear always does...duh...^^), but have a slight difference in internal dialouge, if that makes any sense...)
just another weird realisation i had during this beautiful interview...
When you do return to this comment, I'd love to see overall how you changed. I totally agree with all you said and I can see some similarities.
Azrial, you’re awesome, thank you for the courage to show up. As I watched, I really wanted the conversation to end up with you knowing your own awesomeness and that’s what happened. Your giggle and smile made me so happy. Seeing you heal was healing to me. ❤❤❤❤
"Building solutions based on the perfect solution is a bad strategy"
Oddly, I feel burned by that statement. GG, Doc. GG.
Thank you Ezreal. I wish you well!