@@musikmakerfan but I never said it was a problem! 🤣 If anything, understanding cognitive functions makes me understand people more. So when intjs say stuff like that I'm like omg yeah it makes sense! (Fe Blindspot 🤣)
I've had to chip away at my INTJness over the years. It takes SO MUCH energy to give people the ceremony and "socially acceptable" behavior. So, it takes me forever to respond because I have to self-censor and translate myself before speaking to mitigate misunderstandings and hurt feelings. I'm always the "can we get to the point" kind of person.
Yeah, it seems like a lot of the "down-sides" are just the ways that some people can miss interpret the INTJ's behavior. Not necessarily a problem for the INTJ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@dewofthesea3021 Even as a kid, I recognized that we’re not all supposed to be the same. I didn’t know the word “archetype,” nor the term “ecosystem,” but innately understood those concepts, so I could always meet people where they were-it was easy to recognize that they couldn’t change their essential manner of thinking, feeling, sensing, and operating. Moreover, being self-aware, I understood that there’d be things I either couldn’t do, or didn’t enjoy doing, but maybe it was someone else’s favorite thing, EVER! That means I could offload my drudgery to someone else, and vice versa! 😁 I think the problem with INTJs being maligned is due to the rampancy of narcissism-with people thinking that they’re the center of the universe, and that everyone is supposed to be like them, that’s the antithesis of an ecosystem, and the world they envision as a utopia would be horribly imbalanced & dysfunctional. We may not be the solution to EVERY situation, but some situations do call for honest, fair, impartial, objective, and direct people, and we effortlessly & unapologetically bring these characteristics to any dynamic, whether they like it or not! 😂 This video was obviously a love letter to us, and it was titled that way as clickbait, but done with a wink. 😉
I’ve noticed INTJs seem similar to the autism spectrum. The difference is autistic people don’t typically understand humor and neurotypical INTJs are typically quite humorous. Additionally, I’ve seen a poll of autistic people by autistic and a high number were INTJ.
@@Greenwitch_Garden in what way is it similar? I can agree that some stuff could sound similar but it's the same as saying that ADHD is similar to dyslexia, just because they share some characteristics, doesn't really qualify to measure them as similar, they're very different. Like an ant being similar to a elephant because both can walk.
@leorzeb I think its because we are circumstantially dismissive, abrasive, critical in situations where other people are more reserved to protect emotions.
I am an Intj female. Some people have told me that I might be autistic. And I believe so myself. I have very specific interests and don’t have friends because I can’t relate to what many people consider engaging conversations. I also need a lot of me time. So much that I don’t have the energy or motivation to gain and keep friends. Sometimes I get lonely and try to connect with others but it is extremely exhausting and frustrating since I usually don’t achieve a deeper connection like others do. It’s like an act I have to perform and still it is not enough and I stand out from the group. I’ve always scored Intj for many years although I felt like I improved my social skills. But maybe not enough.
I think it's harder for females to be INTJs. My best analysts were female INTJs (what few I had). Male non-INTJs analysts only see one pathway to one assessment. Female INTJs provided multiple pathways with multiple assessments allowing me to develop metrics to evaulate potentional outcomes. In regards to building/having relationships I have to agree. I called the "act" being a "social chameleon" to fit in. It is exhausting and I feel like a phony for doing it but it seems to make interaction easier for other people. I wish I could offer advice, but it would be like one alcholoic telling another alcholic how to be sober.
Self identified INTJ female, possibly with high-functioning autism here. Making my peace with not being able to connect with most females unless they are also very driven and have technical interests, not necessarily in the same field of work. Either more analytical in nature or very grounded with high emotional intelligence. Would say strong filters for finding friends is important, being friends with more sensory, emotion-driven women generally ends badly from a different way of problem solving conflicts. Don't give up though! Be patient, the right people are worth waiting for.
A lot of people have told me that I might be autistic 😁I was bullied by my supervisors and coworkers more than once. But when I see their patheric and miserable lives (one of my ex supervisors was married to a drug addict) I feel like I'm luckey to be me (INTJ).
@@elizabethtd1006 I can be polite and tactful,, but if anyone doesn't want MY opinion, they shouldn't don't give me theirs. I am not required to agree with, or respect any opinion "just because". They should learn to behave. "Don't ask if you don't want the answer".
Small talk/superficial/repetitive conversations = boring. INTJ-T. Even some family members bore me. I don't want to be a dick but at at the same time i want to rip my hair out. Conundrum.
@apushman Unfortunately that would bore me too, I hate when someone is telling a story and they keep going off on tangents 😂 I enjoy deep and meaningful conversations with people.....outside the box kind of stuff 🤣
INTJ-A If what I say hurts your feelings the problem is you. I'm not rude, but I am straight forward. My path is the most logical and effective path, I will not get people killed and waste money because of feelings and ego ( I work in a field where it matters). I'm an adult and been for a while, so my feelings are already understood. I let them out because I've recognized the flaws in not. It is more efficient to experience them and move on. My lack of social interaction is due to not wanting to, not due to being inept at it. Also, if people proved their skills I can trust them but they often show they are unskilled and more talk than not. You're excuses are just excuses. If you want to succeed you put in the work. It not magic. Its a basic equation.
I am also an INTJ-A. I agree. I am not rude. I don't often start the conversation with the blunt statement, but if you are dumb enough to push my boundaries or instigate, you will matter of fact-ly get it both barrels to the face.
All these reasons why allot of people don't like INTJs are all the reasons why we INFJs love INTJs. Also, they can't hide their feelings and emotions from us INFJs, so we don't think they they have no feelings because we know that they do. Also, I know a few INTJs and each and every one of them sees me, an INFJ, as an intellectual equal to them. We INFJs get you INTJs and I feel that we each need at least one of each other within our lives if we have the ability to gain one. Plus, there is no other type that understands the problems of having dominant introverted intuitions in this world other than our 2 types.
There needs to be a personality based dating website. Trying to find a good woman is difficult enough on its own, trying to find a good one with a compatible personality feels like a Sisyphean task.
My husband was an INFJ, and we were great together. We understood each other even if no one else did. We didn't understand them either. 😃 It's like we were on a deserted island together. ❤
I love Intjs I think they're really sweet. they're basically really big tough softies. they're affectionate when you're the right person or certain person. I am not sure I am not one. I am infj. but I love how stable they are, and I think they're nice and cool and smart. I mean the only way I think someone may not like them because they seem intimating or standoffish. but that's because their introverts. Once you get to know them. they're really sweet.
I think you have described me! I pretend to be tough and I have learned to be tough but on the inside I am not so tough, but not putting up with anyone's crap. So, I can be hard to get along with unless you really know me.
As an INTJ, I hate small talks but because I learn how to charm people, I don't like being asked so I will throwback questions and let them talk. I'm introvert but learn how to charm people but deep inside, I don't give a sht what they talking about but I'll be glad if I have chance to learn something just by listening. Far from narcissist because I don't even like attention at all, as confident introvert, I learned how to charm because my father is so extrovert confident guy so I reinvented myself to be confident and can easily charm anyone just by following the example of my father. I still like to be alone but the only reason I'm socializing is because I need social networks and social experiences that will help me grow for the future that I'm trying to achieve. I tend to be quiet mysterious and I like to annoy narcissist when I spot them. I don't care if people doesn't like me, I'm just experimenting and so far, I'm good at it lol. The way I tell this story, you may judge me as arrogant but I'm just telling you I'm just oozing with confidence. If you see me in real life, you'll see me as an extroverted guy, I don't like to be friends with males because I hate low IQ guys but I like conversing with women so I can improve and train my rizz so no wonder why (male) they tend to dislike me lol. All this extrovert stuffs are just a facet and just a side quest, I'm still introverted af but with oozing confidence. I'd like to hear if there is some INTJ like me that trying to experiment and make things spicy
That is a great skill you've developed, and should serve you well in life. I think it's more beneficial to shore up your weaknesses than wasting energy leveraging your strengths. Your strengths aren't going anywhere, so use your time and efforts to improve in areas that will help you socially. Sounds like you've done this. As a middle aged guy, I learned over the years to fake small talk whenever I can. It seems to help in communication with others, but I can only do it for short periods. Meanwhile, my brain is screaming "get me the f out of here!"
@@rob_does_stuff I'm still mid twenties but I totally got you on "get me the f out of here!" Lol If I just have millionaire parents, I'll stay on cave for sure but as a middle class, survival skills must be learned haha
I value expressing my emotions, but when I do, people dont take it seriously, nor do they see me as sharing my emotions when, in fact, I am. So when I hear "they dont express emotions," thats an outsider's pov
As an INTJ, I found that just presenting the information and waiting for others to come around worked best for me. I felt that I was only responsible to present information as clear as I could and let others do as they pleased. I took what I called the China approach, while conquered several times the Chinese culture usually converted the conquerors.
Not unchangeable just explain logic, If I find your opinion logical I will change my way. I think its hard for us to change cause, we think things through before deciding something and we decide something logical in the first place.
Idk about being brutally honest but most of the time I don't care enough to give my opinions...I just say it's fine..I don't like getting bogged down in details... especially if it's something or someone I don't care about.... because when you do they'd just ask your opinions and I'd get annoyed.
I've learned people really don't want an honest opinion, so I seldom have one when asked. When required to work in a group, I let others make the plan and follow it even though I see all the shortcomings of it.
One of my closest friends is an INTJ. Im an INFP. I value their honesty, but have learned to wait sometimes before bringing things up until Im ready for the brutal truth. Sometimes things need to “sit with me” before Im ready to discuss them in such a direct manner.
Reading all of you alls replies makes me feel like I found the o my community in the world that gets me!!😭😭😭 yall really do understand.. I’ve always felt so alone. With all the research my personality type does, why did it take me so long to get here!!
Yes, I've taken many personalty tests and it seems I switch between intj and intp often so these types must be very closely related and can likely understand each other
You don’t appreciate an INTJ until you realize they were right from the very beginning and you regret not implementing their plans… like Cassandra never being believed until the prophecy happens
Yep the amount of times i get into fights, only to have them reluctantly text me months later saying I was right haha. But it's fine bc since i lack pride i will forgive them instantly and that usually helps us become friends again. I realize admitting you're wrong is really difficult for other types so if they can do that then I have massive respect for them.
@@QMS9224 For me, it's not pride, but HHHAAATING seeing them hurt themselves over and over again. That part...that part makes me want to not be around them.
Some people can’t separate emotions from truths. When harsh truth is spoken by INTJs, those who can’t separate them see it as their insecurities showing and feel butt-hurt. While in fact, truth is just truth on topics and at surface level. Sometimes it’s not even a character flaw of a person involved. But because they can’t separate emotions and topic at hand, they feel it’s a character attack on them. I think people who are not strong themselves at core can’t go along with INTJs.
Some INTJs believe people don't like them because of their intellectualism that many can't relate to. But as an INFJ, I tend not to get along with them due to their arrogance. They pride themselves on their intellectual capacity, but in order for what you are saying to be received well by people, you have to come across as likeable, and not a condescending a-hole. The problem is, INTJs like to think of themselves as unique, so people disliking them is not a problem for them and can confirm to them that they are right and superior. However, if you really want to connect with others and persuade them, you have to be humble and somewhat considerate. If you only care about your ego and self-aggrandisement, then dismissing others' will be necessary for you, and there is nothing genuine about that. Of course, this is a gross generalisation, and I'm sure many INTJs do not meet the above description.
The work of our brain is very logical. We formulate using patterns. Past patterns predict future patterns. If they don’t like us, it’s highly probable that we can’t get along in most cases, no matter how much politeness, small talks and sugar coatings. It’s a clash of personalities, which means plenty of frictions, time wasted, inefficiency, etc. We are saving plenty of heartache and misunderstandings in the long run. The goal is not to be likeable but able to work together to achieve a common goal. We are not nice, but kind. That’s the difference. Can’t expect us to be more like them, when we never expect them to be more like us Respect and acceptance of unique personalities go both ways. Being liked has never being INTJs goal, but improving things around us and adding values are. Getting too much attention or socialising suffocates us too. We save our time and attention to select few who truly like us and can stand us. That’s the real connection we are aiming for. If that seems arrogant, then be it. Because we only have so much time and energy, and most of our time is spent on making improvements on ourselves and others. It’s not meant to be arrogant, it‘s just the way it is. If people understand all of these, they wouldn’t want the other way. People can’t see this as they attach everything and all actions and inactions to emotions so they expect us to do the same. To INFJs, we can separate logic and emotion pretty well.
That's a classical case of Extroverted Feeling (Fe) vs Extroverted Thinking (Te) functions....and the irony is that both functions are blindspots for INTJ and INFJ respectively 😊
No you are right, I had to learn the skill of being likeable in order for people to accept my ideas. On the inside I am still arrogant lol, but learning to appear at least socially humble is a massive skill for networking
@@QMS9224 Exactly. It works in your favour to be aware and understand how others perceive you. Arrogance is so hard to be around, it's uncomfortable. But I always view humility as a sign of strength. People with humility do not have to 'flex' , yet their confidence is still visible. Being arrogant is so easy for us all, and it can be instantly gratifying to prove your intelligence and exert superiority over someone. But humble people have inner confidence that they don't always have to display. There is self-control involved and taking yourself less seriously can be so freeing! Humility is a win win situation for everyone!
INTJ woman here-emotions are just insane to me. Be productive and get shit done and cry later. Who has time for that nonsense. I just don’t understand this reaction to things. And yea, I’m critical and yea, I’ve brought a few people to their knees with it. I see no problems here. Stop being so damn emotional and wilfully obtuse. Or, go cry over there whilst I get it done.
Haha, i love INTJ’s… you sound just like my INTJ wife… she typically lasts 2 years in a job and is completely blindsided when she is manoeuvred out the door in the nicest possible way by the feelers. Not that she cares too much, she is usually ready for a new challenge anyway.
Good Point. I am too INTJ. Get shit done, then go cry. But life is a conundrum of uncertainties, you may sound confident but the add on point is sometimes you need to cry first, sometimes life's shit surely stops you, makes you sit on your knees, make you cry hard, i empathize with those people who stop there, not necessarily agreeing or supporting them. Make sure, you understand and Empathize but still choose not to.
Every “challenge” revolves around relationships and connections with others. The positives revolve around attaining success and achieving goals… The real challenge is having a binary train of thought; in other words….BELIEVING that we can connect with others easily AND Achieve our goals too!
Sadly when emotions were explored and opened up, sharing them to others might be sometimes difficult for them to understand nor understand me. Maybe as an INTJ, it was best that I didn't explore the emotions as it didn't bode well for me and maybe it got things worst. But perhaps it's because family dynamics and upbringing
I had to learn to pick my battles when I married an ESFJ. I’m a woman and he’s a man… so people get confused with our dynamic a lot. It took 12 years of knowing him to finally figure our dynamic out, but we both love each other 🤢 so we work it out. Apparently me saying “you used the wrong hand towel to clean the counter” and “I don’t understand, why are you coming to me with your feelings if you don’t want me to solve them?” Is considered rude. So I keep my mouth shut and use the right hand towels when he’s not home and put my side of the call on mute and put him on speaker when he just wants to vent so that way he gets it out and I can say what I think without hurting his feelings. It’s a fine balance. We’re also the most incompatible personality types there are not sharing a single cognitive functions and their orders being completely reversed. I see it as a rewarding challenge.
As an INTJ who is trying to actually works on his Fe, It's extremely efficient to do so, this is what you guys need, it is difficult,you will never be the best in it, but managing to have normal level Fe opens so many paths for INTJs
Only thing that saves me from being the absolute poster child INTJ is the fact that im a nurse. I have to be very verbally caring to strangers. Apparently people appreciate affection from a total stranger lol.
INTJ-A I love to be social, but most conversations are meaningless and small talk is a pointless skill. Why would I care about *insert celebrity here* and what they did yesterday when there is so many more meaningful topics to discuss.
I guess I'm an INTJ. As a teacher, my eye is trained to spot mistakes. It makes watching something, even at a professional level, difficult, as I get pulled out of the moment really easily if I spot an error.
I've strived to correct some of the challenges of being one, mainly the empathic side, but man it never feels natural. It's like, I've learned to not hold others to my own standards but man they still fall short most of the time. So giving tips is always a hustle because people just look at me like I'm crazy but... it's what works for me! Lmao
I got autistic friends, we get along great because INTJ and autistic people have a huge amount of overlap. If you are INTJ, I recommend that you find some autistic people, they are forward, honest and forthright.
Hey, INTJ, do you have a bunch of experience of people coming over to you or calling months after you pointed out sth with brutal honesty? And just saying: you were so right. I wish I would have listened to you sooner ... It happens to me on a regular basis. From my friends to my coworkers, employees, bosses, even people I just casually meet ...
lol I just started having a crush on this girl I found out is a INTJ. It's going great but as an ENFP I'm so worried for when she finds out I'm the type to say the most nonsensical dreamy nonsense imaginable.
I feel like she'll find that side of yours cute as long as you also don't judge her logical thinking process. Just let her explain her thoughts. Hopefully you find her thoughts amusing. If you do, tell her so she knows she's appreciated. Don't know of this helps but I'm a female INTJ too.
@@alphasnotes5548 thanks for the advice! And you are totally right she ended up thinking it was cute. Thankfully I'm also a very logical person, you know when I'm not being scatological.
Correction. Number 1. Brutal Honesty. It is not so much as being truthful but improving the product, service, processes etc. Your Number 4 Master Critics and Number 6 High Standards supports this position. Number 2. My Way or the Highway. I was okay until you got to the end about "rigid thinking". Incorrect. Until new/refined information changes the assessment, the assessment does not change.
Job routine . Today my first bullied at 6 days worked . Who bully me is the most object bullied from senior . He choose me INTJ for something the forbidden red button . Something we intj dont push that button .
I think that the second point of immovability is a bit more flexible. only, however, in the sense that if there is a better way, prove it to me with evidence and reason otherwise it’s not worth my time
As infp, I hate some of the intj I came across. Not because of their rarionality and focus on truth, heck as an artist I welcome criticism, but rather, they use their intj-ness as excuse to be insentively blunt. What I mean by that is, there is difference being "truthful" and "being an uncaring asshole when delivering your truth". Emotions are big part of human lives, and they seldom are rational. For example, you can't expect someone who was grieving to just "move on", even if it's the correct course of action. And then there's the issue of, is your "truth"/opinion is the right one? Because some of the intj become stubborn (or worse, blame it on the emotion "you're just being emotional/irrational) when other people disagree with their assessment.
They can't stand us ???? Well please don't , you know why I am so glad that you can't stand us ....what a relief when I am so tired I just wanna have some Peace in my tiny room you come out of nowhere and make me regret the day I was born and push me so bad just to socialize....!!!!! You in general being an introvert suck I wish I was an extrovert just to be a little nicer to people and go with the flow I wish I was not intj..I wish I was an extrovert just to keep up with people around me who are all extroverts I almost hate extroverts for pushing introverts so much.
Pple who don’t do everything they can, don’t give their absolute best or speak with out thinking things all the way through won’t like us INTJs It’s not our way it’s the correct way but most pple are lazy in few or more areas in their lives so I can see why we have a hard time in relationships
INTJ are intelligent but clueless at the same time. Because they live in their heads, INTJ lacks empathy and compassion. The challenge for the INTJ is to clear the junk that obscures the heart and to develop the heart...the feeling center.
Depending on ANY type’s development towards well-roundedness and health, their type will become more ambiguous-it usually requires some time, experience, maturity….and of course, some people never evolve into their better selves. Every type has its healthy & unhealthy examples. There are INTJ who either have or develop compassion & empathy-definitely helps if they’re around other types who aren’t NT, and can see from example thru healthy Feeler types how to develop their emotional selves, just as Feelers would benefit from being around Thinker types who show them how to be more detached & logical and not take everything personally, whenever the situation calls for it. Balance is the goal, no matter where our home base is. ⚖️
This just isn't true at all. INTJs don't "lack empathy and compassion." We just realize that feelings are good for figuring out WHAT we want to accomplish. Thinking is good for figuring out HOW to get there. Using feelings to figure out how to accomplish a goal is a losing strategy. That's not what they're for. When an INTJ values somebody or something, they will do ANYTHING to protect it from harm. And, they will bring all their logical, planning, and rationality to the table to accomplish that goal.
The problem this INTJ has with the MBTI is I want to see the evidence…. And there isn’t any, nada, squat, diddly…. So it’s fun to play with, don’t take it too seriously.
It makes me think if you are sabotaging yourself. Sorry, I am trying to fix you. I can imagine why things lead to that. Please don't leave me, it was not my intention. I like your ...
Yes apparently in today's society. However, being genuine is a wonderful trait. Don't let these idiots stop you. Find people who appreciate your honesty.
INTJ here and sorry not sorry lol 1. ENTJ are much worse with their motormouth brutality. 2. Yep a strength, someone needs to have some core values. 3. Nah this is the ENTJ who lashes out if they feel anything. 4. Yep written recomendation that I show on point critical sense. 5. Yea lol 6. Yea slackers suck. 7. Jalousy rears it's ugly head.
Bee inn a Aye inn tea Jay is like bee inn the own Lee cow width the knowledge of the slaughter House. Aye inn tea jays wheel focus own helping every one excape,While the other cows wheel he ate the aye inn tea jay four knot graze own the delicious grass width dim.
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👇WATCH NEXT👇
5 Things INTJs Do Better than Others
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As an INTJ I really don't care if others don't like me, small talk bores me, I love my own company so I don't have to deal with others.
100%. What bothers me more is if someone needs me to like them, I'm like why does it matter it's not a big deal don't you like yourself? Lol
That is me as well. I had a conversation one day at work with a co-worker. He could not understand that I did not care what others thought about me.
REAL
As another INTJ, I approve this message.
INTJs especially dont mix well with narcissists 😆
Narc basher 😂
Very true
Lol so true since my dad is one and we are like ice and fire
😆
Yep! I'm an INTJ, and narcissists are annoying assholes.
I'm always amazed at how people describe being honest as brutal. That sounds like a you problem to me.
Exactly
There's a way of saying things without hurting the other party. But I feel like a lot of INTJs dont understand the concept of that lmao (Fe Blindspot)
@@Anikaisalibra sounds like a you problem to me
@@musikmakerfan but I never said it was a problem! 🤣 If anything, understanding cognitive functions makes me understand people more. So when intjs say stuff like that I'm like omg yeah it makes sense! (Fe Blindspot 🤣)
I mean technically yes it can be seen as a problem and it would make sense as to why as well haha
The world: Just be yourself
**INTJ being their authentic selves**
Them: What's wrong with you?!
I've had to chip away at my INTJness over the years. It takes SO MUCH energy to give people the ceremony and "socially acceptable" behavior. So, it takes me forever to respond because I have to self-censor and translate myself before speaking to mitigate misunderstandings and hurt feelings. I'm always the "can we get to the point" kind of person.
;)
Just be yourself...as long as "yourself" doesn't hurt my feelings, because that's all that matters.
People either LOVE us or HATE us. There is no in between.
I took every single one of these points as a compliment! 😂
Me too! 😂
Yes!!
Yeah, it seems like a lot of the "down-sides" are just the ways that some people can miss interpret the INTJ's behavior.
Not necessarily a problem for the INTJ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@dewofthesea3021 Even as a kid, I recognized that we’re not all supposed to be the same. I didn’t know the word “archetype,” nor the term “ecosystem,” but innately understood those concepts, so I could always meet people where they were-it was easy to recognize that they couldn’t change their essential manner of thinking, feeling, sensing, and operating.
Moreover, being self-aware, I understood that there’d be things I either couldn’t do, or didn’t enjoy doing, but maybe it was someone else’s favorite thing, EVER! That means I could offload my drudgery to someone else, and vice versa! 😁
I think the problem with INTJs being maligned is due to the rampancy of narcissism-with people thinking that they’re the center of the universe, and that everyone is supposed to be like them, that’s the antithesis of an ecosystem, and the world they envision as a utopia would be horribly imbalanced & dysfunctional.
We may not be the solution to EVERY situation, but some situations do call for honest, fair, impartial, objective, and direct people, and we effortlessly & unapologetically bring these characteristics to any dynamic, whether they like it or not! 😂
This video was obviously a love letter to us, and it was titled that way as clickbait, but done with a wink. 😉
Yup lol
As an INTJ now I understand why people think that I’m autistic
Maybe you are, no one has ever said that to me.
Sure on the Aspergers end of it. Very similar
I’ve noticed INTJs seem similar to the autism spectrum. The difference is autistic people don’t typically understand humor and neurotypical INTJs are typically quite humorous.
Additionally, I’ve seen a poll of autistic people by autistic and a high number were INTJ.
@@Greenwitch_Garden in what way is it similar? I can agree that some stuff could sound similar but it's the same as saying that ADHD is similar to dyslexia, just because they share some characteristics, doesn't really qualify to measure them as similar, they're very different. Like an ant being similar to a elephant because both can walk.
@leorzeb I think its because we are circumstantially dismissive, abrasive, critical in situations where other people are more reserved to protect emotions.
Someone: "I don't really like you."
Me, an INTJ-T: "Good 🗿"
YEAH!!!!
So true
Someone: I don’t like you
Me: You lost me at “I”
INTJ-A : So????
True
The comment section is so comforting.
I am an Intj female. Some people have told me that I might be autistic. And I believe so myself.
I have very specific interests and don’t have friends because I can’t relate to what many people consider engaging conversations. I also need a lot of me time. So much that I don’t have the energy or motivation to gain and keep friends. Sometimes I get lonely and try to connect with others but it is extremely exhausting and frustrating since I usually don’t achieve a deeper connection like others do. It’s like an act I have to perform and still it is not enough and I stand out from the group.
I’ve always scored Intj for many years although I felt like I improved my social skills. But maybe not enough.
Interesting insight.
I think it's harder for females to be INTJs. My best analysts were female INTJs (what few I had). Male non-INTJs analysts only see one pathway to one assessment. Female INTJs provided multiple pathways with multiple assessments allowing me to develop metrics to evaulate potentional outcomes. In regards to building/having relationships I have to agree. I called the "act" being a "social chameleon" to fit in. It is exhausting and I feel like a phony for doing it but it seems to make interaction easier for other people. I wish I could offer advice, but it would be like one alcholoic telling another alcholic how to be sober.
Hi, i am a female INTJ and i'm autistic, if you have doubts you can take a test, but not the ones online.
Self identified INTJ female, possibly with high-functioning autism here. Making my peace with not being able to connect with most females unless they are also very driven and have technical interests, not necessarily in the same field of work. Either more analytical in nature or very grounded with high emotional intelligence. Would say strong filters for finding friends is important, being friends with more sensory, emotion-driven women generally ends badly from a different way of problem solving conflicts. Don't give up though! Be patient, the right people are worth waiting for.
A lot of people have told me that I might be autistic 😁I was bullied by my supervisors and coworkers more than once. But when I see their patheric and miserable lives (one of my ex supervisors was married to a drug addict) I feel like I'm luckey to be me (INTJ).
If an INTJ has a sense of humor, it can really break down the problems they might have in their relationships and friendships and workplaces
For sure.
@@elizabethtd1006 Absolutely not.
@@elizabethtd1006this approach only breeds hubris. Weak arguments are to be destroyed, otherwise there’s no point making them to begin with.
@@elizabethtd1006 how about you keep mouth shut with that nonsense
@@elizabethtd1006 I can be polite and tactful,, but if anyone doesn't want MY opinion, they shouldn't don't give me theirs. I am not required to agree with, or respect any opinion "just because". They should learn to behave. "Don't ask if you don't want the answer".
This channel is not ready for "70 reasons why INTJs can't stand people".
Small talk/superficial/repetitive conversations = boring. INTJ-T. Even some family members bore me. I don't want to be a dick but at at the same time i want to rip my hair out. Conundrum.
I find small talk not only boring but draining as well. Its like hearing a long winded story where all i need are the cliff notes.
@apushman Unfortunately that would bore me too, I hate when someone is telling a story and they keep going off on tangents 😂 I enjoy deep and meaningful conversations with people.....outside the box kind of stuff 🤣
Small talk and social situations is draining. I end up sleeping for 13 hours after a social event… it is exhausting holding it all in.
That makes me feel calm that I am not alone who struggle with this
I'm not sure that INTJs need to adapt to people, people should adapt to INTJs.
I'm retired. I am so finished with adapting. They can adapt to me now. Or go away.
I agree
Na, that means they'll want to talk to me
Compromise on both sides is important. Their propensities and preferences are no less valid than ours.
Every one of these is true, and I know it. Thanks for pointing it out! -- INTJ-A
best part is, I dont care what people think or feel.
not narcissistic, just INTJistic.
Yup thats your Fe blindspot for you
@@Anikaisalibra I would consider that my dominant function, rather than a blindspot.
@@PlaidLaddy I'm so sorry I meant Fe 🤣🤣 Cuz you literally don't care about other people's opinions (Blindspot Fe*)
@@Anikaisalibra No worries at all. Fe, I can agree with 100% lol
@@PlaidLaddy why do you consider Se as your dominant function tho ? Since Ni is your dominant function
I am an INTJ but I do feel bad sometimes that im not "normal" especially living in hispanic culture which is hyper feelings and communicative.
yo esa
INTJ-A
If what I say hurts your feelings the problem is you. I'm not rude, but I am straight forward. My path is the most logical and effective path, I will not get people killed and waste money because of feelings and ego ( I work in a field where it matters). I'm an adult and been for a while, so my feelings are already understood. I let them out because I've recognized the flaws in not. It is more efficient to experience them and move on. My lack of social interaction is due to not wanting to, not due to being inept at it. Also, if people proved their skills I can trust them but they often show they are unskilled and more talk than not. You're excuses are just excuses. If you want to succeed you put in the work. It not magic. Its a basic equation.
I am also an INTJ-A. I agree. I am not rude. I don't often start the conversation with the blunt statement, but if you are dumb enough to push my boundaries or instigate, you will matter of fact-ly get it both barrels to the face.
All these reasons why allot of people don't like INTJs are all the reasons why we INFJs love INTJs. Also, they can't hide their feelings and emotions from us INFJs, so we don't think they they have no feelings because we know that they do. Also, I know a few INTJs and each and every one of them sees me, an INFJ, as an intellectual equal to them. We INFJs get you INTJs and I feel that we each need at least one of each other within our lives if we have the ability to gain one. Plus, there is no other type that understands the problems of having dominant introverted intuitions in this world other than our 2 types.
There needs to be a personality based dating website. Trying to find a good woman is difficult enough on its own, trying to find a good one with a compatible personality feels like a Sisyphean task.
I'm glad there is at least someone who understands us
@@FC-BS Well, other than your own type, there is no other type that gets INTJs like an INFJ, and I respect that your auxiliary is my blindspot.
Spot on !
My husband was an INFJ, and we were great together. We understood each other even if no one else did. We didn't understand them either. 😃 It's like we were on a deserted island together. ❤
I love Intjs I think they're really sweet. they're basically really big tough softies. they're affectionate when you're the right person or certain person. I am not sure I am not one. I am infj. but I love how stable they are, and I think they're nice and cool and smart. I mean the only way I think someone may not like them because they seem intimating or standoffish. but that's because their introverts. Once you get to know them. they're really sweet.
I think you have described me! I pretend to be tough and I have learned to be tough but on the inside I am not so tough, but not putting up with anyone's crap. So, I can be hard to get along with unless you really know me.
As an intj, I don't really care about whether people like me or not. But I'm glad that I now know why people may not like me
people always misunderstood intj ..they dont know i already give the best for their future
That's a really good f***ing point.
As an INTJ, I hate small talks but because I learn how to charm people, I don't like being asked so I will throwback questions and let them talk. I'm introvert but learn how to charm people but deep inside, I don't give a sht what they talking about but I'll be glad if I have chance to learn something just by listening. Far from narcissist because I don't even like attention at all, as confident introvert, I learned how to charm because my father is so extrovert confident guy so I reinvented myself to be confident and can easily charm anyone just by following the example of my father. I still like to be alone but the only reason I'm socializing is because I need social networks and social experiences that will help me grow for the future that I'm trying to achieve. I tend to be quiet mysterious and I like to annoy narcissist when I spot them. I don't care if people doesn't like me, I'm just experimenting and so far, I'm good at it lol. The way I tell this story, you may judge me as arrogant but I'm just telling you I'm just oozing with confidence. If you see me in real life, you'll see me as an extroverted guy, I don't like to be friends with males because I hate low IQ guys but I like conversing with women so I can improve and train my rizz so no wonder why (male) they tend to dislike me lol. All this extrovert stuffs are just a facet and just a side quest, I'm still introverted af but with oozing confidence. I'd like to hear if there is some INTJ like me that trying to experiment and make things spicy
That is a great skill you've developed, and should serve you well in life. I think it's more beneficial to shore up your weaknesses than wasting energy leveraging your strengths. Your strengths aren't going anywhere, so use your time and efforts to improve in areas that will help you socially. Sounds like you've done this. As a middle aged guy, I learned over the years to fake small talk whenever I can. It seems to help in communication with others, but I can only do it for short periods. Meanwhile, my brain is screaming "get me the f out of here!"
@@rob_does_stuff I'm still mid twenties but I totally got you on "get me the f out of here!" Lol
If I just have millionaire parents, I'll stay on cave for sure but as a middle class, survival skills must be learned haha
Im not currently, but after reading your comment, i certainly will try now, sounds fun.
@@NiceGurlTrice good to hear! I hope you enjoy each new experiences
I value expressing my emotions, but when I do, people dont take it seriously, nor do they see me as sharing my emotions when, in fact, I am. So when I hear "they dont express emotions," thats an outsider's pov
As an INTJ, I found that just presenting the information and waiting for others to come around worked best for me. I felt that I was only responsible to present information as clear as I could and let others do as they pleased. I took what I called the China approach, while conquered several times the Chinese culture usually converted the conquerors.
Thank you for bringing up your perspective!
😅 If you don’t want to hear honesty, don’t ask INTJs, or an ISTJ…
Not unchangeable just explain logic, If I find your opinion logical I will change my way. I think its hard for us to change cause, we think things through before deciding something and we decide something logical in the first place.
Idk about being brutally honest but most of the time I don't care enough to give my opinions...I just say it's fine..I don't like getting bogged down in details... especially if it's something or someone I don't care about.... because when you do they'd just ask your opinions and I'd get annoyed.
I do that too
😂😂yep
Whoa, this whole comment section encompasses things I think about but never say to anyone.
I've learned people really don't want an honest opinion, so I seldom have one when asked. When required to work in a group, I let others make the plan and follow it even though I see all the shortcomings of it.
Thanks for sharing!
Same I just learned to shut up and let people do whatever. After you get punished for the truth so many times you don’t care anymore
I think two INTJ friendship may be up and down but with a small maturity will be the best
One of my closest friends is an INTJ. Im an INFP. I value their honesty, but have learned to wait sometimes before bringing things up until Im ready for the brutal truth. Sometimes things need to “sit with me” before Im ready to discuss them in such a direct manner.
Reading all of you alls replies makes me feel like I found the o my community in the world that gets me!!😭😭😭 yall really do understand.. I’ve always felt so alone. With all the research my personality type does, why did it take me so long to get here!!
I would probably get along with an intj, I'm an intp 😅
I’m an intj and I agree.
Prove it. 1 v 1 me in Minecraft or I doubt your power.
Yes, I agree. my sister (INTP-A) and me (INTJ-T) are like twins 😊
Yes, I've taken many personalty tests and it seems I switch between intj and intp often so these types must be very closely related and can likely understand each other
You don’t appreciate an INTJ until you realize they were right from the very beginning and you regret not implementing their plans… like Cassandra never being believed until the prophecy happens
Yep the amount of times i get into fights, only to have them reluctantly text me months later saying I was right haha. But it's fine bc since i lack pride i will forgive them instantly and that usually helps us become friends again. I realize admitting you're wrong is really difficult for other types so if they can do that then I have massive respect for them.
@@QMS9224Its quite rare to see an INTJ to be forgiving. Personally i don’t forgive ppl for being an idiot.
@@QMS9224
For me, it's not pride, but HHHAAATING seeing them hurt themselves over and over again.
That part...that part makes me want to not be around them.
Some people can’t separate emotions from truths. When harsh truth is spoken by INTJs, those who can’t separate them see it as their insecurities showing and feel butt-hurt.
While in fact, truth is just truth on topics and at surface level. Sometimes it’s not even a character flaw of a person involved. But because they can’t separate emotions and topic at hand, they feel it’s a character attack on them. I think people who are not strong themselves at core can’t go along with INTJs.
Insightful and accurate
“All you ever have is opinions”
Some INTJs believe people don't like them because of their intellectualism that many can't relate to. But as an INFJ, I tend not to get along with them due to their arrogance. They pride themselves on their intellectual capacity, but in order for what you are saying to be received well by people, you have to come across as likeable, and not a condescending a-hole. The problem is, INTJs like to think of themselves as unique, so people disliking them is not a problem for them and can confirm to them that they are right and superior. However, if you really want to connect with others and persuade them, you have to be humble and somewhat considerate. If you only care about your ego and self-aggrandisement, then dismissing others' will be necessary for you, and there is nothing genuine about that.
Of course, this is a gross generalisation, and I'm sure many INTJs do not meet the above description.
We don't beg people to like us.
The work of our brain is very logical. We formulate using patterns. Past patterns predict future patterns. If they don’t like us, it’s highly probable that we can’t get along in most cases, no matter how much politeness, small talks and sugar coatings. It’s a clash of personalities, which means plenty of frictions, time wasted, inefficiency, etc. We are saving plenty of heartache and misunderstandings in the long run. The goal is not to be likeable but able to work together to achieve a common goal. We are not nice, but kind. That’s the difference. Can’t expect us to be more like them, when we never expect them to be more like us Respect and acceptance of unique personalities go both ways.
Being liked has never being INTJs goal, but improving things around us and adding values are. Getting too much attention or socialising suffocates us too.
We save our time and attention to select few who truly like us and can stand us. That’s the real connection we are aiming for. If that seems arrogant, then be it. Because we only have so much time and energy, and most of our time is spent on making improvements on ourselves and others. It’s not meant to be arrogant, it‘s just the way it is.
If people understand all of these, they wouldn’t want the other way.
People can’t see this as they attach everything and all actions and inactions to emotions so they expect us to do the same. To INFJs, we can separate logic and emotion pretty well.
That's a classical case of Extroverted Feeling (Fe) vs Extroverted Thinking (Te) functions....and the irony is that both functions are blindspots for INTJ and INFJ respectively 😊
No you are right, I had to learn the skill of being likeable in order for people to accept my ideas. On the inside I am still arrogant lol, but learning to appear at least socially humble is a massive skill for networking
@@QMS9224 Exactly. It works in your favour to be aware and understand how others perceive you. Arrogance is so hard to be around, it's uncomfortable. But I always view humility as a sign of strength. People with humility do not have to 'flex' , yet their confidence is still visible. Being arrogant is so easy for us all, and it can be instantly gratifying to prove your intelligence and exert superiority over someone. But humble people have inner confidence that they don't always have to display. There is self-control involved and taking yourself less seriously can be so freeing! Humility is a win win situation for everyone!
INTJ woman here-emotions are just insane to me. Be productive and get shit done and cry later. Who has time for that nonsense. I just don’t understand this reaction to things.
And yea, I’m critical and yea, I’ve brought a few people to their knees with it.
I see no problems here. Stop being so damn emotional and wilfully obtuse. Or, go cry over there whilst I get it done.
Haha, i love INTJ’s… you sound just like my INTJ wife… she typically lasts 2 years in a job and is completely blindsided when she is manoeuvred out the door in the nicest possible way by the feelers. Not that she cares too much, she is usually ready for a new challenge anyway.
Good Point. I am too INTJ. Get shit done, then go cry. But life is a conundrum of uncertainties, you may sound confident but the add on point is sometimes you need to cry first, sometimes life's shit surely stops you, makes you sit on your knees, make you cry hard, i empathize with those people who stop there, not necessarily agreeing or supporting them. Make sure, you understand and Empathize but still choose not to.
Every “challenge” revolves around relationships and connections with others. The positives revolve around attaining success and achieving goals…
The real challenge is having a binary train of thought; in other words….BELIEVING that we can connect with others easily AND Achieve our goals too!
Sadly when emotions were explored and opened up, sharing them to others might be sometimes difficult for them to understand nor understand me. Maybe as an INTJ, it was best that I didn't explore the emotions as it didn't bode well for me and maybe it got things worst. But perhaps it's because family dynamics and upbringing
Aren't these compliments? 😅
i guess not
I had to learn to pick my battles when I married an ESFJ. I’m a woman and he’s a man… so people get confused with our dynamic a lot. It took 12 years of knowing him to finally figure our dynamic out, but we both love each other 🤢 so we work it out. Apparently me saying “you used the wrong hand towel to clean the counter” and “I don’t understand, why are you coming to me with your feelings if you don’t want me to solve them?” Is considered rude. So I keep my mouth shut and use the right hand towels when he’s not home and put my side of the call on mute and put him on speaker when he just wants to vent so that way he gets it out and I can say what I think without hurting his feelings. It’s a fine balance. We’re also the most incompatible personality types there are not sharing a single cognitive functions and their orders being completely reversed. I see it as a rewarding challenge.
As an INTJ who is trying to actually works on his Fe,
It's extremely efficient to do so, this is what you guys need, it is difficult,you will never be the best in it, but managing to have normal level Fe opens so many paths for INTJs
Yess!! 👍
What "Fe"?
I'm an INTJ too. Why is this comment section so comforting? Yes, sometimes I care too. 😂
I'm trying to imagine caring that someone can't stand me, but NOPE - got nuthin'!
Am ENTP.
Me like INTJ dorks.
Especially when they offend others with their awkward social skills and I get to watch.
As an INTJ-T, I loved this. Now when I'm rude to those people who call me "friend", I can just say I'm an INTJ.
Only thing that saves me from being the absolute poster child INTJ is the fact that im a nurse. I have to be very verbally caring to strangers. Apparently people appreciate affection from a total stranger lol.
INTJ-A
I love to be social, but most conversations are meaningless and small talk is a pointless skill. Why would I care about *insert celebrity here* and what they did yesterday when there is so many more meaningful topics to discuss.
As an INTJ-A, I'm sorry that my brain works the way that it should!!
I guess I'm an INTJ. As a teacher, my eye is trained to spot mistakes. It makes watching something, even at a professional level, difficult, as I get pulled out of the moment really easily if I spot an error.
I've strived to correct some of the challenges of being one, mainly the empathic side, but man it never feels natural.
It's like, I've learned to not hold others to my own standards but man they still fall short most of the time. So giving tips is always a hustle because people just look at me like I'm crazy but... it's what works for me! Lmao
I got autistic friends, we get along great because INTJ and autistic people have a huge amount of overlap. If you are INTJ, I recommend that you find some autistic people, they are forward, honest and forthright.
The feeling is mutual.
Hey, INTJ, do you have a bunch of experience of people coming over to you or calling months after you pointed out sth with brutal honesty? And just saying: you were so right. I wish I would have listened to you sooner ... It happens to me on a regular basis. From my friends to my coworkers, employees, bosses, even people I just casually meet ...
People can be clueless wimps. That is their prerogative. - INTJ-A
"I want my partner to be honest with me" - nobody truly wants that.
Course not! You are the best ever!
What's wrong with "brutal" honesty? Do people prefer being lied to?
First thought when I saw this title was: good. Don't talk to me then
Omg! I thought I was crazy and cold hearted then I took a test apparently I’m just INTJ.
yeah, that's me...
Now I know why people try to tone down my language. Can't stand the truth. 😂
The reason is for me i see sharing my emotion as weak
Everything in this video is not a me problem, but a you problem.
So that's how my my gf left me (she's INTJ)
lol I just started having a crush on this girl I found out is a INTJ. It's going great but as an ENFP I'm so worried for when she finds out I'm the type to say the most nonsensical dreamy nonsense imaginable.
You'll be a science project to her. She'll probably keep you around for that.
@@arcosiancosine1065 hmm that might just explain the dynamic. Sounds fun to me.
I feel like she'll find that side of yours cute as long as you also don't judge her logical thinking process. Just let her explain her thoughts. Hopefully you find her thoughts amusing. If you do, tell her so she knows she's appreciated.
Don't know of this helps but I'm a female INTJ too.
@@alphasnotes5548 thanks for the advice! And you are totally right she ended up thinking it was cute. Thankfully I'm also a very logical person, you know when I'm not being scatological.
Intj here.... Do relate😅😅😅😅😅
Correction. Number 1. Brutal Honesty. It is not so much as being truthful but improving the product, service, processes etc. Your Number 4 Master Critics and Number 6 High Standards supports this position. Number 2. My Way or the Highway. I was okay until you got to the end about "rigid thinking". Incorrect. Until new/refined information changes the assessment, the assessment does not change.
Job routine . Today my first bullied at 6 days worked . Who bully me is the most object bullied from senior .
He choose me INTJ for something the forbidden red button . Something we intj dont push that button .
I think that the second point of immovability is a bit more flexible. only, however, in the sense that if there is a better way, prove it to me with evidence and reason otherwise it’s not worth my time
The Autism 🤝 The Personality Type
No
@@spotlight1220 OK buddy 👍
I'm not surprise
As infp, I hate some of the intj I came across. Not because of their rarionality and focus on truth, heck as an artist I welcome criticism, but rather, they use their intj-ness as excuse to be insentively blunt.
What I mean by that is, there is difference being "truthful" and "being an uncaring asshole when delivering your truth". Emotions are big part of human lives, and they seldom are rational. For example, you can't expect someone who was grieving to just "move on", even if it's the correct course of action.
And then there's the issue of, is your "truth"/opinion is the right one? Because some of the intj become stubborn (or worse, blame it on the emotion "you're just being emotional/irrational) when other people disagree with their assessment.
They can't stand us ???? Well please don't , you know why I am so glad that you can't stand us ....what a relief when I am so tired I just wanna have some Peace in my tiny room you come out of nowhere and make me regret the day I was born and push me so bad just to socialize....!!!!! You in general being an introvert suck I wish I was an extrovert just to be a little nicer to people and go with the flow I wish I was not intj..I wish I was an extrovert just to keep up with people around me who are all extroverts I almost hate extroverts for pushing introverts so much.
Pple who don’t do everything they can, don’t give their absolute best or speak with out thinking things all the way through won’t like us INTJs
It’s not our way it’s the correct way but most pple are lazy in few or more areas in their lives so I can see why we have a hard time in relationships
Well that's fair cause as an intj myself i just can't stand people so that's good news😊
I don't know why but I always picture intjs in my mind as stoic black cats. I know that's silly but can't help find them kinda cute.
-intp
INTJ are intelligent but clueless at the same time. Because they live in their heads, INTJ lacks empathy and compassion. The challenge for the INTJ is to clear the junk that obscures the heart and to develop the heart...the feeling center.
Depending on ANY type’s development towards well-roundedness and health, their type will become more ambiguous-it usually requires some time, experience, maturity….and of course, some people never evolve into their better selves. Every type has its healthy & unhealthy examples.
There are INTJ who either have or develop compassion & empathy-definitely helps if they’re around other types who aren’t NT, and can see from example thru healthy Feeler types how to develop their emotional selves, just as Feelers would benefit from being around Thinker types who show them how to be more detached & logical and not take everything personally, whenever the situation calls for it.
Balance is the goal, no matter where our home base is. ⚖️
This just isn't true at all. INTJs don't "lack empathy and compassion." We just realize that feelings are good for figuring out WHAT we want to accomplish. Thinking is good for figuring out HOW to get there. Using feelings to figure out how to accomplish a goal is a losing strategy. That's not what they're for.
When an INTJ values somebody or something, they will do ANYTHING to protect it from harm. And, they will bring all their logical, planning, and rationality to the table to accomplish that goal.
Lol
Lol
Lol
Put simply, INTJ's are Vulcans.
cant't
The problem this INTJ has with the MBTI is I want to see the evidence…. And there isn’t any, nada, squat, diddly…. So it’s fun to play with, don’t take it too seriously.
Im intj and im brutally savage
How?
Yeah i know
brutal honesty
i dont even try
its kind of hard for me to tell white lies
It makes me think if you are sabotaging yourself.
Sorry, I am trying to fix you.
I can imagine why things lead to that.
Please don't leave me, it was not my intention.
I like your ...
Majority of the people here aren't actually injts we are leaders not closeted losers
As an INTJ and autstic I have basically no chance
So being genuine is considered rude now?
What do you think?
Yes apparently in today's society.
However, being genuine is a wonderful trait. Don't let these idiots stop you. Find people who appreciate your honesty.
Then lie down, humanoid.
1 reason why it doesn't matter
INTJ here and sorry not sorry lol
1. ENTJ are much worse with their motormouth brutality.
2. Yep a strength, someone needs to have some core values.
3. Nah this is the ENTJ who lashes out if they feel anything.
4. Yep written recomendation that I show on point critical sense.
5. Yea lol
6. Yea slackers suck.
7. Jalousy rears it's ugly head.
cry about it - intj
Bee inn a Aye inn tea Jay is like bee inn the own Lee cow width the knowledge of the slaughter House. Aye inn tea jays wheel focus own helping every one excape,While the other cows wheel he ate the aye inn tea jay four knot graze own the delicious grass width dim.
...not brutal honesty i just dont lie if youre cooking os bad i wont speak but my actions would show
This is just autism the same way ENFP (me) is just ADHD and whaddaya know i got also have ADHD
InTeliJenT