Too Many Feels
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- Опубликовано: 14 мар 2024
- Scott Ott brings us a modern update on the syrupy 1974 superhit by Morris Albert; the new lyrics are: Feelings / Nothing Less Than Feelings / Tying to forget my / overwhelming neurotic need to constantly harp upon my perpetually reinforced sense of being s victim of my emotions such as sadness or love… Okay, it may not scan as well as the original, but the idea that we are constantly making kids feel WORSE by always asking them how they FEEL is, thank God, starting to gain some traction.
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I broke my leg falling out of a tree when I was 16. When the doctor took the cast off eight weeks later, my mother, frustrated with my stoicism said "would you *please* smile?"
The doctor reminded her: "He was laughing two months ago, when the ambulance brought him in."
After that I spent six weeks going back and forth to physical therapy on my skateboard.
Everyone has feelings; Unfortunately, NOT everyone has been taught SELF-CONTROL by loving well adjusted parents!!
Prepare the child for the roads - don't prepare the roads for the child.
I believe Andrew Klavan said in one of his podcasts something like "grief is a desert we all have to cross alone. We all cross it in different ways. Not all of us do it at the same speed"
Two sets of footsteps in the sand. Then there was only one. Where did Jesus go! He was too busy showing off walking on water.
Gen X nobody asked that unless we were hurt, like broken bones or bruised or bleeding or in obvious distress. Stoicism was how it was.
What the British called keeping a Stiff upper lip
"If all that got hurt was your feelings, consider yourself lucky." Passed down to me by my father, and to him by his father . . . from his father.
"train up a child in the way he should go"
Nd he will not watch social media.
Amen!
Internet websites are always asking how you feel, too. ...popups wanting asking you to rate the site, to answer surveys. All the feels
Make your own luck, surround yourself with good people.
As we said to our son at the dinner table, "Use the forks, Luke."
Instead of asking kids how they feel. I ask them what they think about it. Get them used to forming opinions and owning them.
Critical thinking? STRAIGHT TO JAIL!
I hope this school of thought takes over. We have had too much Dr. Spock for too long. All of our societal problems today come from his books in the 1960s.
Gen X here! My generation was raised on "It's better to look good than to feel good." I think we did pretty well.
How about, "It's better to do good?"
...and you look maaarvelous!
When my daughter was 15 years old I asked her if she'd rather be happy and like everyone else, or if she'd rather be the way she is.
She didn't hesitate and said that she'd rather be the way she was.
it's not about suppressing feelings, it's about knowing where they come from and choosing how you react to the feelings, e.g. not going on tilt over bad beats. A roaring fire makes light and warmth from anything thrown on it.
Learned helplessness must be unlearned.
I usually agree with Bill, but I think he missed the point of Luke's trench run.
Until Ben chimed in, Luke had been perfectly happy to assume his targeting computer would handle the job. Bear in mind that this same device had failed for all the other pilots who'd tried to use it, and one of the other pilots even called the machine out as not capable of hitting the target during the briefing. If Luke had relied on the computer, and his shot had failed like everyone else's had, he would reasonably have figured that the shot had always been impossible for _anyone_ to make, and his failure to make it was therefore not his fault.
By instead turning off the targeting computer and using the Force - and this is the critical part - Luke _let go_ of his emotional turmoil, which must have been intense. After all, over the past day and a half, he'd faced the brutal loss of his aunt, uncle, mentor, and childhood best friend over the course of the past day and a half, and now in that moment the fate of the Rebellion is on his shoulders alone.
But instead of taking the easy way out by leaving the responsibility of lining up the shot to the targeting computer, Luke listens to Ben and lets go of his emotions, letting them wash over and cleanly past him. Free of their distraction - calmly, at peace, as Yoda would later say - Luke takes direct personal ownership and control of the shot, and practically places the torpedoes on the target by hand.
It was not a hippy-dippy "how do you _feel_ about the Force" moment, nor was it an obstinate refusal to admit that emotions are a thing with verifiable neurochemical impacts on one's mental state. It was a calm, rational acknowledgement that yes, this is indeed a stressful moment - but you must learn to not let those emotions weigh you down or get in the way of being fully in the moment.
On the flip side of the coin, being ruled by emotions is... Not a good idea. Anger, fear, aggression - the Dark Side are they, and forever will they dominate your destiny if you allow them to.
First off, kids don't know how they feel. Watch a kid when you ask them this. What you're doing is introverting them. That's bad for them.
I feel great when I complete a task. And anticipation of that feeling is often the motivation I need to do the task done. Like mowing the yard, it hot, sweaty work, but the feeling I get when I look at the fleshly mowed yard is wonderful.
the difference between "effor" and "laziness"
@@carlh-thehermitwithwi-fi679: I like "free" stuff too. However: 1. nothing is free. and 2. free stuff lacks to the pride of DIY.
I think what you really want to cultivate in kids is their skills (that’s where self esteem comes from) and their sense of identity: being a realistic perception of who they are. That’s not how they feel because that’s malleable as the psych says. It’s their actual traits and characteristics and abilities. If they know themselves they can weather the sea of feelings!
It agree with Bill. It's our job to guide our children through feelings by offering perspective and suggestions. Not to ignore them. Train them to deal with feelings and emotions because everyone has to.
Interesting subject that I haven’t spent much time thinking about. Now that you guys have made me aware of the negative connotations I’m going to quit asking people how they are feeling. Thanks for another good conversation.
Dimmicrats and the sith care about feelings... A better question is what do you think!
My mother: You're going to take a bath and like it. or You better stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.
Great way of looking at feelings- have feelings, but don't let your feelings control you and your life
I can't remember my parents ever asking me how I felt about anything. (I'm sure they must have asked about some things, but didn't do it with any frequency.) Besides, I prefer thinking to feeling in most cases: feelings come from the heart and remember what the Bible says about that: "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"
The only times my parents asked how I was feeling was when I was actively physically sick or injured. At that point, it is a medical question, not an emotional state question.
Some Rando after hearing I had Cancer: "How are you feeling?"
Me: "With my fingers."
If/when your childhood is focused entirely on feelings; you're in trouble when you get to the real world, where you have to confront those pesky "facts" things, which do not care about your feelings.
The next time I ask someone how they are feeling, I want to be dressed as George Patton, with a glove in my hand...
I think it's another form of "worry" from helicopter parents who watch too much cnn and are basted in the news that teens are more depressed and in larger numbers than ever.
I think that you guys would be proud of me by what you guys are talking about with your feelings I am 42 years old and I've been with my husband for over 24 years and we've always lived together cuz we have a 22 year old daughter and that was when we were young and all the sudden this year he decided I want to be separated I want a divorce I cried for a couple days and sometimes memories will pop up and that makes me sad but but I'm just over it and the silly thing is is I'm about to move out on my own I have never lived by myself my entire life and on top of this I'm disabled I have a mess I can't drive I can't cook I can't do a lot of things so it's going to be interesting but I'm going to do it that's my plan I'm going to do it and I'm going to show everybody how I can take care of myself😊🎉
This is sad. I'm sorry.
How are you feeling? I usually use my fingers!
My nose is always stopped up.
(psst...someone ask me how I smell)
# 11 wow doing good work!
@@texasman1836fresh cut grass or hoppes #9, both acceptable man smells... Old car is third
Always
Fee fees are overrated. Have seen coworkers who become paralyzed by feelings to the point they cannot function. Cannot perform basic functions of their jobs. Scary Af. Millennials
Yes. I've seen too many subordinates like that. We're going to have to deal with a lost generation. It's going to be Hell for all of us when they have the levers of control.
I swear to God ... IF, you had a gaggle of starving, woke, proglodytes and you led them to a fish pond, showed them a dragnet and pointed to a pile of firewood----I don't think they could do the math by themselves ...
"Let me give you something to cry about". Internet quote of the day. Rings in my head, or maybe that's just the smack my mom gave me 50+ years ago!
😅
If asked, instead of saying “great “. Tell them, “my is health is horrible, my wife hates me”. The elaborate. Their eyes will glaze over.
Thank you 😊
Kirk tried his heart first and barely survived
LOL. "Let me give you something to cry about!"
Kids in the back while driving through various Euro States listening to Radio DJ's. Daddy, the music man speaks all the languages but how does he know where we are?
Huh. I never saw the practice as a problem per se. I just know that I've never liked being asked how I feel, no matter how I feel at the time.
Feelings need to be the caboose so the engine of will can drive. Real love is a choice that creates feelings. Not the other way around.
Great segment especially because Scott was out of focus. Much appreciated!
WELL SAID !
I am interested in how my kids feel. When they’re struggling - well, I’ve struggled myself, I can support them with working out how they might want to deal with that. Feelings are evolved functions, they serve a purpose, we should aim to identify them, and Serenity Prayer them (essentially) where appropriate. I have no doubt there are intrusive pathological devouring mother type parents who place way too much emphasis on them though - both based on some of the ideas some of these kids on TikTok have, and based on the fact that I’ve seen overemphasis on feelings at my kids school. My kids think it’s totally lame, and I think they’re in the majority, but there must be some demand from it. From emotionally incontinent parents who will moan till they get it on the curriculums I guess!
Feels is NOT a noun. Feelings is.
"I'm all up in my feels." That's often how it's used. And that's a noun. (Subject)
Sometimes my Dad would say "Have fun, dammit".
It wasn’t delivered as well as it could’ve been, but Obi-Wan was essentially telling Luke to use Zen archery. Put all emotion and thoughts aside, and concentrate on the goal.
I don’t think there is anything worse than having to eat strawberry ice cream. I wouldn’t blame the kid for being sad. “But mom, I asked for rocky road.”😢
Andrew Klavan says grief is a dessert you have to walk across on foot.
Klavan is a craven caveman.
Captain Piccard to Data: "The answer is I feel Fine".
that was spok to sarek "tell my mother that i feel fine"
Bill I remember that episode and it was a really good one.
Feelz are the deelz.
Retail and service people are trained to ask how one's day is going. It is time to stop that ancient custom?
Yes, please. None of their damned business asking this either intrusive or insincere question.
Time for a boycott of Trader Joe’s 😂. “So, what are your plans for the weekend, Sir?”…………..”You know that I know that you don’t care about my plans for the weekend. Stop making this awkward and just bag my groceries.”
Motorboat?
No chance!
But its a lovely canoe and I have a very elegant paddle.
I stole your paddle to slap the feelings out of those 81 million Brandon voters... You can have this paper straw as a replacement
You could do 90 if you get that hot air bag Kerry to blow on it!
I think Bill's wrong about telling them how they should be FEELING. What you teach them is that what you think and do can change how you feel. If you're eating that ice cream and crying because your cousin was murdered and you're remembering having ice cream with her and you're missing her, "Be happy you have ice cream!" ain't gonna cut it. "Go ahead and cry; it's normal." If you're sitting there eating ice cream and crying because you failed your calculus test, then okay, what are you going to do? Talk to the teacher about where you failed and get some tutoring, maybe? Or maybe you really aren't cut out for calculus and you should see if there's a better route for you. Do some problem solving. If you're sitting there eating ice cream and crying because you wanted butter pecan and all they had was maple walnut, then maybe you're clinically depressed and we need to get you meds and therapy. Or maybe you're a spoiled brat and you need to get some perspective.
Focus!
The brain will always trump feelings
Get over it. / Get over yourself.
This too shall pass.
Well, I don’t know what more you want me to do for you.
Life is hard. Get used to it.
I blew up at a fast food counter person when he asked "How is your day going so far?" I was just fine until he asked. I told him it was none of his fucking business. For all you know my mom might have died today. DO NOT INTRUDE on my thoughts and feelings, I told him. I do not like having to justify my existence to random people.
"How is your day going" is asking you to JUSTIFY your existence?? You're a nut.
So a generic platitude requiring only a generic response, if any response at all, caused an explosion of anger on your part.
Honestly, "How is your day going so far?" from a stranger can be treated as a rhetorical question requiring no answer.
I don't like to be asked this because I know it's insincere. I'm not going to waste my breath answering. The problem is that emoloyers require employees to say stupid scripts. Then these poor employees are subject to surveys at the end of the call or visit (like to a hair salon) where they are graded on a scale. I know, I used to work for one. Unless I received a certain percentage of 10 out of 10 scores, I didn't get a pay raise. Effin stupid ass employers! Talk about adding insult to injury. They set us up for failure because NO ONE wants to be asked insincere questions! Just do your damn job well, and you'll get a 10 score. Jackasses. (I usually give employees the highest score because it's not their fault. I always write a comment if I'm able to the management that I don't appreciate them making their employees follow idiotic scripts. )
@winniecash1654 I've worked a number of front facing customer service positions, and the only customers I ask those questions are the regulars that I would see every day. Customers become regulars for a couple of reasons, proximity convenience, and the way employees treat them are two big reasons. Most people do not become regulars for the second category if the employees only treat them like just another transaction, and many regular customers in this situation would go out of their way to come to the places I worked because they weren't just a transaction to myself and many of my coworkers. There were even customers who learned my schedule because I was the specific employee that they wanted to interact with or just leave if they walked in, and I wasn't there. So if I asked one of these customers how their day is going or if they're having a good day, I would get honest answers that I was legitimately interested in hearing the answers to.
it's an empty phrase of greeting. They aren't listening to the response. They are wrapped up in themselves.
SO i just smile and say "present!" - I am there, mentally, physically, and emotionally, right there right now.
MORE than they are.
So jsut say "present!"
Ya, he built a cannon out of wood wrapped in rope. Sure that will work. In the real world that results in your face full of splinters.
where are all these sad people, I only hear about them on the internet... if anything everyone is too happy here in Ideeho
Well, if the internet was full of potatoes, they would probably be happy, too. Just sayin.
👍🏻🇺🇸😎
I think I fluctuate between state and action oriented - does that mean I'm bi-polar?
Tangentially...."You *made* me mad/sad/glad/etc." We've all heard it; we've all said it. It's a colloquialism. And it's a lie. Yes, knowing the state of someone's feelings is fine. It's a gauge we use to try manipulate someone to our own benefit; whether to soothe or incite them. But convincing oneself into believing someone else made you feel mad/sad/glad/etc is not fine; it's delusion. It's a mechanism for escaping agency. Only you create *your* emotions. With the possible exception of chemical/mental instability, your emotions are all yours. Others can only try to manipulate your emotions. If other people are effortlessly in control of your emotions/feelings, then every artist, suitor, conman, and politician (but I repeat myself) would be successful. They aren't. Which proves my point.
Well, you probably should find out if they have soul crushing depression and if what you're doing is causing it, but beyond that....
It's not hard to teach your children to react independent of their emotion; unless you're providing the wrong example.
A-mair-ee-kans are waaaay to emotional
Lefties are emotional... Some of us think.
So Steve is the only one of the 3 who has kids?
No.
🗽USA❤🤍💙
As a healthcare person, "How are you feeling?" means "do you feel f*cking dizzy as you stand up from that sh!tty difficult chair we had you sit in?" Not "Do you feel like a complete cnut today?" Thankfully, most of my patients are old enough to know the diff.
Scott, Please focus your camera.
I am not admitting to anything, but I kind of wish my Jedi Mind Tricks work better.
Are these the droids you're looking for? (Voice question sound lol)
Sorry Scott but it appears that your camera is focusing on something behind you (though i am pretty sure you know already).
I thought it was just an especially fuzzy beard.
@@Howandog Perfect!
It was worse on the back stage...
@@breckfreeride Unfortunately i dont get to see the back stage any more since it was yanked behind a pay wall.
remenber..."feelings" are terrible devices to make decisions.
LOGIC adn REASONING and COMMON SENSE make GOOD decisions.
"i feel"
move that person into the closet. WE are adults..we have things to do.
"i want" is the second worse phrase"
I THINK
now sit up
Hahaha got a Biden ad before the video. What impressive targeting.
Ms. Shrier has a few videos over at Prager U. Worth the time. www.youtube.com/@PragerU/search?query=abigail
Are you just disgusted with life, little man?
I'll tell you a wonderful trick,
That'll bring you contentment if anything can---
Do something to somebody quick!
Sounds like a recipe for going too far toward stoicism so that the generation that follows goes full hippie
Disturbing parenting/mentoring these days
The only people who focus on how they "feel" are young children and all women!
I feel GREAT most of the time. But that's because I mastered 9-ball pool, and my soul has fulfillment beyond my wildest dreams. If you are miserable like Scott, you just haven't found your God given talents.
Scott has gone full Karl Marx!!! NEVER go full Karl Marx.