I am an Indian Swede from a Sikh family. My parents had an arranged marriage, but my dad was the complete opposite of most men his age. My mum was the primary breadwinner as a veterinarian, and my dad worked from home as an engineer. He took us to school, to dance classes, and he would sometimes be the only dad in a sea of mums. He was proud of how hard my mum worked. They would divide the household duties, with him cooking and my mum cleaning (she hates cooking and loves to clean). He always told me and my sister to marry someone who values marriage as a partnership and does not become insecure if we earn more than him. Sikhism emphasises these same values of equality between the sexes and fighting for equal rights for both men and women,
@@bfbmain I am! He is absolutely amazing! My husband is as well. Also I love your videos!! Your videos are so well thought-out and discuss really important and relevant topics.
I used to know a Sikh woman in her thirties who had had an arranged marriage. But it wasn't how most people picture arranged marriages...she was highly educated (a lawyer) and she told me that when it was time for her to marry, her parents introduced her to a variety of men who were around her age, also highly educated and from good families. The potential couple were able meet ahead of time and get to know each other a bit before deciding whether they wanted to move forward. So while it was understood that at some point, she would say 'yes' to someone, there wasn't any one particular man that she was pressured to choose - while her parents (who were both educated as well) wanted her to choose someone in her own culture, they also loved her and wanted her to be happy. The man that she ended up choosing was someone she liked and found attractive and had equal social status to her. When I knew her, she had been married for 6 years and seemed very happy...
A Bengali woman who has immigrated to the States once told me that when she and her husband went back home, her mother-in-law pulled her aside and begged her to please never make her son (i.e. the immigrant woman’s husband) do any household chores. Did that sound strange? I’ve heard worse. Another Bengali woman, this one having immigrated to Canada, told me that she was having dinner at her in-laws’ and someone asked her how she manages both her job and her household. She downplayed the amount of work she has to do, and even praised her husband for being very helpful. Apparently, her mother-in-law’s face went dark when she heard her precious son has to do household chores. I have always hated this about my culture. It is a point of pride to be able to spoil and pamper the son(s) of the family. It is insulting if the man of the house has to “stoop to” doing any housework. Many mothers suffer heart attacks after they send their sons abroad for a “better life” and then find out that their sons have to do housework. This is not true of every household, but in many households in my community, mothers will do everything for their sons: from the cooking to the cleaning to ironing and laying out their clothes for the next day. And then they will find their son a maidservant, I mean, a wife to take over because someday they (the mothers) will get too old/sick or die. There’s a saying in my culture that girls mature faster than boys. This is stated like it’s a biological fact. Girls, from a young age are taught how to behave like a grown-up and taught to be self sufficient. They are taught how to cook, clean, maintain house, serve tea to the guests, etc. etc. It is impressed upon them that these are essential skills they need in order to maintain a good position when they go to live with their in-laws. (Living with in-laws used to be super common back in the day.) Boys, meanwhile, are typically pampered. Again, not true of all households. And many boys do have to struggle in other ways, but that’s besides the point. Girls mature faster because they are forced to. It makes me so mad that people think this is just a biological fact. (I just copy/pasted this from a blog post I wrote on the topic. Full post available here: sildarmillionjournal.wordpress.com/2022/02/25/frustrations-with-a-community/)
It completely turned me off to wanting to be a wife or mother because I had spent my whole life practicing to be a wife and mother. I also hate my question of “do you know how to cook?” Some of these men actually think that is a pick up line. Great video!
After you see generations and generations of women in your family forced into the cooking space and told once and again that it's your duty as a 'good traditional woman' you can't help but view cooking as oppressive. My mom wasnt even a full time housewife, but the second shift was put on her shoulders again. And let's be honest most men in cultural communities want women to replicate this 'traditional duty' because somehow they translate systematic oppression into a language of love. And then feel offended when they are denied that.
My husband makes the sandwiches lol. Cooks 99% of the food. If he wants to enjoy what he's eating he knows who's best in the kitchen. That said my mom was the cook and fulfilled the "traditional" gender role even though she had a full time job outside of the home too. My dad just worked and showed up for his cleaned clothes, clean house, and his cooked steak that was PRECUT for him. My mom said she made mistakes feeding into that and swore she wouldn't raise her daughters to continue that role.
Wow, you made so many good points here. I actually didn’t learn how to cook until after I got married, my husband and I dated for years before that and he always used to cook for me when I went over to his place or he would pack a picnic. But after I got married and started cooking I realized I actually really loved it. If it was told to me that it was my job to cook then maybe I wouldn’t enjoy it as much, I would end up resenting it. My husband does the cleaning so I never feel like I’m doing everything on my own. He even helps prep. What always stands out to me is that my mom praises me everytime I’m cooking, with a sense of pride that expresses that she trained me well. But on the other hand my brother has never even entered the kitchen, not even to wash dishes. My MIL doesn’t have a daughter so she taught her son everything, and that difference was a huge eye opener for me.
The act of cooking should be divided. If two couples live together. One should cook lunch and the other cook dinner or something they could agree on. The same goes with cleaning. If a man doesn't want to participate, kick him out. Simple.
You hit on so many points. When it feels like an obligation or a duty based off of only being a woman. It takes fun and joy out of it. I think this is why I've never had a real interest in learning how. Thank you.
Eastern European. Although people think as Europeans as more equalistic in relationships and that might be true for most parts of Europe, but Eastern Europe is very much patriarchal still to date. As you are saying, I REFUUUUSED to learn to cook until I moved out on my own. Like at all. Then I realized I loved to eat good food, so I started learning to cook. Then I realized I loved to cook. I LOOOVE TO COOK! Its like my active meditation. It has nothing to do with any societal expectations, its just a thing I enjoy doing. However, I still think men who can't cook at least basic level stuff are handicaped. Like seriously lacking basic survival skills. Grow up!
Thanks for sharing your perspective! It further confirms that these issues occur across various cultures. I’m so glad you enjoy cooking today, because without expectations associated with it, it can be truly be such a fun activity! 🩷
Your videos are so relatable to so many women. This video highlights how I realized that I had been raised to do what I call “angry cleaning” once I realized I have been actively setting boundaries. Allowing myself to l Have a bit of mess sometimes so that I don’t live in resentment to my family. Thanks for your videos. Please keep it up ❤
I'm lucky: I love to cook. I learned young because I wanted to, but my mom definitely didn't like it but did it at least once per day out of obligation to husband and us kids. I'm not sure if I forced myself to like Cooking so that I wouldn't grow up to hate it, or if I like cooking because I like eating 🤷🏿♀️. I am married now and I've always been the cook ...my husband doesn't cook very well. He has tried when I've asked or if it's my birthday or something.... but it's been terrible even when he uses recipes and I'm not good at "eating it anyways" 😂. So when he's cooking, he keeps it simple and easy..... like oatmeal for example. Because I LIKE cooking (and eating)....I do all of it. But at the same time I don't like thoroughly cleaning and being on my hands and knees like cinderella; I prefer tidying up. So he's the one that's scrubbing the bathrooms and mopping consistently and such instead. I've recently quit my teaching career and temporarily become a full time homemaker (by choice; we don't have children), so I've taken on the cleaning stuff I don't like doing since it's only fair. He is still the one scrubbing the toilet and shower 90% of the time though. I think I've been lucky (I'm a social scientist), and got of hyper-individualism early on back in college. I'm not going to say it's "easy" to financially rely on my partner ...it's active work tbh! But I feel like if we cannot depend on each other in these times, why are we married? Why is anyone? If we were more group/community oriented, we wouldn't be having to do these mental gymnastics. It's a marriage; we do things for each other. I don't work outside the home right now, and I can still ask my husband to grab me a glass of wine or make me a bagel. He's not gonna say "you were home all day, do it yourself!" 😂. But I know that is something we as women probably fear! My relationship has very traditional gender roles, but at the same time we are each so unique with what we do. I'm the techy person; he sews. I have a progressive partner, but also, he was raised as a girl (he is transgender). I'm sure that likely somewhat plays into the empathy that he is able to muster up for women. Personally when I have kids, all genders are going to be learning how to do all things, and we most definitely will be cooking together as a family every weekend.
Thank you for talking about this topic I hope more female RUclipsrs talk about this issue, yes I experienced this too!! I belong in the kitchen because I was born female I had to become like my dad's second wife YUK!! I don't talk to my parents anymore and I never will
I never undwrstood my anger against cooking and food and ever since living alone away from my parents. I always tried to avoid cooking even for myself. Before seeing this video i was so guilty about this but now i understand. Thank you.
Great video Yusra ❤❤ A guy I dated a while back used to send me pictures of his dinner. I thought he just wanted to share everything he is doing but then he said that my job is menial; I am a senior data scientist. He did many other things to degrade me. I realized that I am dealing with a very insecure manipulative man and I stopped talking to him immediately. It felt good 😊
It’s actually so simple when you get to the right mentality. I love cooking for my husband and he loves cooking for me. We love cooking for ourselves. To us, it’s just an act of leisure (and survival). Don’t let the voices drown yours out, and learn to unlearn the mindsets that hold us back
I love your videos so much !! you bring the eastern perceptive in these "controversial" topics of discussion and as an Asian, i can actually relate to your take on this.
The worst is when the mother herself wants you to step up into her role even if you try to help her, too. Women need two voices at least to be heard by one man unfortunately. Yet the ones dearest woman for us is not the voicing but letting you alone speak. To be not heard by a man is bad, to be not heard by another woman, especially your own mother, is worse.
Totally agree with you but there at times when you need to deny that so your parents or family members understand that they can't always get what they want. Generally in families like this people think that the girl is throwing a tantrum and after some time she's gonna cook or do the house work but if you tell them how they just always make them work because they are girls and never let their sons do the work it's unfair. Maybe it will not change your life that much but at least they not gonna do that to the next generation. And like you said we should teach children to cook food because it's what we all eat not because that's what a women job is and make a woman a real women.
Women have to do 50/50 on finances, so men should do 50/50 of the domestic work. My thing against cooking is that I restrict calories and dislike eating around others. Plus, I work full time and make six figures; I’d rather pay someone to do it for me.
I love the kitchen, I like cooking,I like eating. Plus we have to eat, and going out to eat is not as comfortable or affordable for me. My cooking is also an act of love 💕 But on days I work I don’t cook. Because I just don’t have the energy. The less I work the more easy it is for me to be traditional. I don’t hate being traditional I enjoy it. But when I work more we order out or get left overs. I find joy in cooking when I have the time and energy.
I am Italian American and food is a big part of our culture, and especially for women, cooking is a HUGE part of how we show love for our families. When I got married, it was a point of pride for me that I made all our meals from scratch, just like my mother did for our family (as well as working full-time and, at the time, working on my master's degree). Then, I started a very time-intensive hobby that meant I wasn't home until later in the evening, so my husband started cooking most of our dinners. I had to really do a lot of internal work to realize that this didn't make me a "bad wife" (in fact, I was a lot happier because I had this hobby and was making friends), but it was really difficult at first to unlearn all the cultural and societal messaging about women and cooking. My husband still does most of the cooking in our house and I'm so grateful that we've found a balance that works well for us!
Let's be honest though, a man whose one of the three first questions to you is "do you know how to cook?" can't be an evolved dude who worked on himslef to have more empathy for women. If it is a joke then he is really oblivious to women's plight and if he's not joking then girl, he's interviewing you for a the maid job he already put you in in his mind
I’m a guy who grew up w/ my father in the home. The benefit I had by having a parent in the home with me constantly was immense and the defining framework of my childhood. I know I want my kids to have what I have, but domestic stuff doesn’t satisfy me personally. I would hope to find a woman one day who willing to take on domestic duties for that exact reason.
Cooking was entirely self-preservation for me. I think going to a historically women's college where cooking became a treat we shared as friends for holidays when we couldn't go home or a frantic amalgamation of random vegetables and meats from the college food bar when the hot food was not up to par shifted what cooking meant to me. I don't accept a relationship where my partner does not put in equal effort to cook, clean etc, or does not prioritize cleaning and cooking together as a way to decompress and keep our space and lives dignified. But then again, I grew up in a house where my mom came from a middle class family that had a maid, and my dad came from a lower class family that did the chores themselves. So that is how the split was in my home. I unfortunately have ADHD (it's fun sometimes but more of a hassle and hindrance for everyday function), so being raised without the expectation of chores or any commitment to maintaining routine completely messed me up. I struggle so much with doing any chores now, and cleaning up after I cook even if the cooking is enjoyable.
Thank you for putting this into words, I experienced this trigger to cooking in my previous relationship and it was very hard to share. I really find hard to navigate relationships in a culture that is so entrenched in gender roles and patriarchal thinking.
I am an Indian Swede from a Sikh family. My parents had an arranged marriage, but my dad was the complete opposite of most men his age. My mum was the primary breadwinner as a veterinarian, and my dad worked from home as an engineer. He took us to school, to dance classes, and he would sometimes be the only dad in a sea of mums. He was proud of how hard my mum worked. They would divide the household duties, with him cooking and my mum cleaning (she hates cooking and loves to clean). He always told me and my sister to marry someone who values marriage as a partnership and does not become insecure if we earn more than him. Sikhism emphasises these same values of equality between the sexes and fighting for equal rights for both men and women,
Your dad sounds so absolutely amazing! You’re lucky to have such a fantastic role model in your life! 🩷
@@bfbmain I am! He is absolutely amazing! My husband is as well. Also I love your videos!! Your videos are so well thought-out and discuss really important and relevant topics.
Thank you so much! 🩷❤️🩷
That’s so beautiful
I used to know a Sikh woman in her thirties who had had an arranged marriage. But it wasn't how most people picture arranged marriages...she was highly educated (a lawyer) and she told me that when it was time for her to marry, her parents introduced her to a variety of men who were around her age, also highly educated and from good families. The potential couple were able meet ahead of time and get to know each other a bit before deciding whether they wanted to move forward. So while it was understood that at some point, she would say 'yes' to someone, there wasn't any one particular man that she was pressured to choose - while her parents (who were both educated as well) wanted her to choose someone in her own culture, they also loved her and wanted her to be happy. The man that she ended up choosing was someone she liked and found attractive and had equal social status to her. When I knew her, she had been married for 6 years and seemed very happy...
A Bengali woman who has immigrated to the States once told me that when she and her husband went back home, her mother-in-law pulled her aside and begged her to please never make her son (i.e. the immigrant woman’s husband) do any household chores.
Did that sound strange? I’ve heard worse.
Another Bengali woman, this one having immigrated to Canada, told me that she was having dinner at her in-laws’ and someone asked her how she manages both her job and her household. She downplayed the amount of work she has to do, and even praised her husband for being very helpful. Apparently, her mother-in-law’s face went dark when she heard her precious son has to do household chores.
I have always hated this about my culture. It is a point of pride to be able to spoil and pamper the son(s) of the family. It is insulting if the man of the house has to “stoop to” doing any housework. Many mothers suffer heart attacks after they send their sons abroad for a “better life” and then find out that their sons have to do housework.
This is not true of every household, but in many households in my community, mothers will do everything for their sons: from the cooking to the cleaning to ironing and laying out their clothes for the next day. And then they will find their son a maidservant, I mean, a wife to take over because someday they (the mothers) will get too old/sick or die.
There’s a saying in my culture that girls mature faster than boys. This is stated like it’s a biological fact.
Girls, from a young age are taught how to behave like a grown-up and taught to be self sufficient. They are taught how to cook, clean, maintain house, serve tea to the guests, etc. etc. It is impressed upon them that these are essential skills they need in order to maintain a good position when they go to live with their in-laws. (Living with in-laws used to be super common back in the day.) Boys, meanwhile, are typically pampered. Again, not true of all households. And many boys do have to struggle in other ways, but that’s besides the point.
Girls mature faster because they are forced to. It makes me so mad that people think this is just a biological fact.
(I just copy/pasted this from a blog post I wrote on the topic. Full post available here: sildarmillionjournal.wordpress.com/2022/02/25/frustrations-with-a-community/)
So well-written 🩷👏🏽
It completely turned me off to wanting to be a wife or mother because I had spent my whole life practicing to be a wife and mother. I also hate my question of “do you know how to cook?” Some of these men actually think that is a pick up line. Great video!
🩷❤️🩷
Many of them never even tried learning to cook. Idk how they’re alive unless it's from using women for their cooking/ read-made meals...
@@Heyu7her3 That part
After you see generations and generations of women in your family forced into the cooking space and told once and again that it's your duty as a 'good traditional woman' you can't help but view cooking as oppressive. My mom wasnt even a full time housewife, but the second shift was put on her shoulders again.
And let's be honest most men in cultural communities want women to replicate this 'traditional duty' because somehow they translate systematic oppression into a language of love. And then feel offended when they are denied that.
My husband makes the sandwiches lol. Cooks 99% of the food. If he wants to enjoy what he's eating he knows who's best in the kitchen. That said my mom was the cook and fulfilled the "traditional" gender role even though she had a full time job outside of the home too. My dad just worked and showed up for his cleaned clothes, clean house, and his cooked steak that was PRECUT for him. My mom said she made mistakes feeding into that and swore she wouldn't raise her daughters to continue that role.
Wow, you made so many good points here. I actually didn’t learn how to cook until after I got married, my husband and I dated for years before that and he always used to cook for me when I went over to his place or he would pack a picnic. But after I got married and started cooking I realized I actually really loved it.
If it was told to me that it was my job to cook then maybe I wouldn’t enjoy it as much, I would end up resenting it. My husband does the cleaning so I never feel like I’m doing everything on my own. He even helps prep. What always stands out to me is that my mom praises me everytime I’m cooking, with a sense of pride that expresses that she trained me well. But on the other hand my brother has never even entered the kitchen, not even to wash dishes. My MIL doesn’t have a daughter so she taught her son everything, and that difference was a huge eye opener for me.
The act of cooking should be divided. If two couples live together. One should cook lunch and the other cook dinner or something they could agree on. The same goes with cleaning. If a man doesn't want to participate, kick him out. Simple.
You hit on so many points. When it feels like an obligation or a duty based off of only being a woman. It takes fun and joy out of it. I think this is why I've never had a real interest in learning how. Thank you.
This is such an interesting topic; almost _performatively rebelling_ against something specifically because it feels forced upon you.
Subbed!
Thanks so much! 😊
Eastern European. Although people think as Europeans as more equalistic in relationships and that might be true for most parts of Europe, but Eastern Europe is very much patriarchal still to date. As you are saying, I REFUUUUSED to learn to cook until I moved out on my own. Like at all. Then I realized I loved to eat good food, so I started learning to cook. Then I realized I loved to cook. I LOOOVE TO COOK! Its like my active meditation. It has nothing to do with any societal expectations, its just a thing I enjoy doing. However, I still think men who can't cook at least basic level stuff are handicaped. Like seriously lacking basic survival skills. Grow up!
Thanks for sharing your perspective! It further confirms that these issues occur across various cultures. I’m so glad you enjoy cooking today, because without expectations associated with it, it can be truly be such a fun activity! 🩷
Your videos are so relatable to so many women. This video highlights how I realized that I had been raised to do what I call “angry cleaning” once I realized I have been actively setting boundaries. Allowing myself to l
Have a bit of mess sometimes so that I don’t live in resentment to my family. Thanks for your videos. Please keep it up ❤
I'm lucky: I love to cook. I learned young because I wanted to, but my mom definitely didn't like it but did it at least once per day out of obligation to husband and us kids. I'm not sure if I forced myself to like Cooking so that I wouldn't grow up to hate it, or if I like cooking because I like eating 🤷🏿♀️.
I am married now and I've always been the cook ...my husband doesn't cook very well. He has tried when I've asked or if it's my birthday or something.... but it's been terrible even when he uses recipes and I'm not good at "eating it anyways" 😂. So when he's cooking, he keeps it simple and easy..... like oatmeal for example.
Because I LIKE cooking (and eating)....I do all of it. But at the same time I don't like thoroughly cleaning and being on my hands and knees like cinderella; I prefer tidying up. So he's the one that's scrubbing the bathrooms and mopping consistently and such instead. I've recently quit my teaching career and temporarily become a full time homemaker (by choice; we don't have children), so I've taken on the cleaning stuff I don't like doing since it's only fair. He is still the one scrubbing the toilet and shower 90% of the time though.
I think I've been lucky (I'm a social scientist), and got of hyper-individualism early on back in college. I'm not going to say it's "easy" to financially rely on my partner ...it's active work tbh! But I feel like if we cannot depend on each other in these times, why are we married? Why is anyone? If we were more group/community oriented, we wouldn't be having to do these mental gymnastics. It's a marriage; we do things for each other. I don't work outside the home right now, and I can still ask my husband to grab me a glass of wine or make me a bagel. He's not gonna say "you were home all day, do it yourself!" 😂. But I know that is something we as women probably fear! My relationship has very traditional gender roles, but at the same time we are each so unique with what we do. I'm the techy person; he sews. I have a progressive partner, but also, he was raised as a girl (he is transgender). I'm sure that likely somewhat plays into the empathy that he is able to muster up for women.
Personally when I have kids, all genders are going to be learning how to do all things, and we most definitely will be cooking together as a family every weekend.
Thank you so much for sharing your point of view! 🩷❤️
Thank you for talking about this topic I hope more female RUclipsrs talk about this issue, yes I experienced this too!! I belong in the kitchen because I was born female
I had to become like my dad's second wife YUK!! I don't talk to my parents anymore and I never will
I never undwrstood my anger against cooking and food and ever since living alone away from my parents. I always tried to avoid cooking even for myself. Before seeing this video i was so guilty about this but now i understand. Thank you.
It's really nice that you said it. We all have to eat. So we all belong to the kitchen because that's where the food is.
Great video Yusra ❤❤ A guy I dated a while back used to send me pictures of his dinner. I thought he just wanted to share everything he is doing but then he said that my job is menial; I am a senior data scientist. He did many other things to degrade me. I realized that I am dealing with a very insecure manipulative man and I stopped talking to him immediately. It felt good 😊
Wow, “menial”?! Yeah, boy bye!
It’s actually so simple when you get to the right mentality. I love cooking for my husband and he loves cooking for me. We love cooking for ourselves. To us, it’s just an act of leisure (and survival). Don’t let the voices drown yours out, and learn to unlearn the mindsets that hold us back
I love your videos so much !! you bring the eastern perceptive in these "controversial" topics of discussion and as an Asian, i can actually relate to your take on this.
🩷❤️🩷
The worst is when the mother herself wants you to step up into her role even if you try to help her, too. Women need two voices at least to be heard by one man unfortunately. Yet the ones dearest woman for us is not the voicing but letting you alone speak.
To be not heard by a man is bad, to be not heard by another woman, especially your own mother, is worse.
Totally agree with you but there at times when you need to deny that so your parents or family members understand that they can't always get what they want. Generally in families like this people think that the girl is throwing a tantrum and after some time she's gonna cook or do the house work but if you tell them how they just always make them work because they are girls and never let their sons do the work it's unfair. Maybe it will not change your life that much but at least they not gonna do that to the next generation.
And like you said we should teach children to cook food because it's what we all eat not because that's what a women job is and make a woman a real women.
You are seriously underrated
🥹🩷
Agreed; I LOVE this channel!
Women have to do 50/50 on finances, so men should do 50/50 of the domestic work. My thing against cooking is that I restrict calories and dislike eating around others. Plus, I work full time and make six figures; I’d rather pay someone to do it for me.
I love the kitchen, I like cooking,I like eating. Plus we have to eat, and going out to eat is not as comfortable or affordable for me. My cooking is also an act of love 💕 But on days I work I don’t cook. Because I just don’t have the energy. The less I work the more easy it is for me to be traditional. I don’t hate being traditional I enjoy it. But when I work more we order out or get left overs. I find joy in cooking when I have the time and energy.
Wow I needed this video
I got nothing to saay, really good video!
I am Italian American and food is a big part of our culture, and especially for women, cooking is a HUGE part of how we show love for our families. When I got married, it was a point of pride for me that I made all our meals from scratch, just like my mother did for our family (as well as working full-time and, at the time, working on my master's degree). Then, I started a very time-intensive hobby that meant I wasn't home until later in the evening, so my husband started cooking most of our dinners. I had to really do a lot of internal work to realize that this didn't make me a "bad wife" (in fact, I was a lot happier because I had this hobby and was making friends), but it was really difficult at first to unlearn all the cultural and societal messaging about women and cooking. My husband still does most of the cooking in our house and I'm so grateful that we've found a balance that works well for us!
That lipstick goes well to you ❤
Let's be honest though, a man whose one of the three first questions to you is "do you know how to cook?" can't be an evolved dude who worked on himslef to have more empathy for women. If it is a joke then he is really oblivious to women's plight and if he's not joking then girl, he's interviewing you for a the maid job he already put you in in his mind
You're not wrong, tbh. You know what's crazy? How MANY guys asked me this question. It truly was confusing/infuriating 😅
@@bfbmain I have the same experience unfortunately and I have the same sentiment towards chores especially cooking as you. Now it got a lot better
please keep doing this work. i really hope red pill peope and followers see your videos and learn something.
Love this video, you spoke the truth 👏🏽
I’m a guy who grew up w/ my father in the home. The benefit I had by having a parent in the home with me constantly was immense and the defining framework of my childhood. I know I want my kids to have what I have, but domestic stuff doesn’t satisfy me personally. I would hope to find a woman one day who willing to take on domestic duties for that exact reason.
do you expect her to also have a job? raise the children?
Hello are you from pakistan etc ? Let me guess have kids too etc Lajawab . I’m also Indian but born in USA . You speak nicely Lajawab 😮🥹
Cooking was entirely self-preservation for me. I think going to a historically women's college where cooking became a treat we shared as friends for holidays when we couldn't go home or a frantic amalgamation of random vegetables and meats from the college food bar when the hot food was not up to par shifted what cooking meant to me. I don't accept a relationship where my partner does not put in equal effort to cook, clean etc, or does not prioritize cleaning and cooking together as a way to decompress and keep our space and lives dignified. But then again, I grew up in a house where my mom came from a middle class family that had a maid, and my dad came from a lower class family that did the chores themselves. So that is how the split was in my home. I unfortunately have ADHD (it's fun sometimes but more of a hassle and hindrance for everyday function), so being raised without the expectation of chores or any commitment to maintaining routine completely messed me up. I struggle so much with doing any chores now, and cleaning up after I cook even if the cooking is enjoyable.
Thank you for putting this into words, I experienced this trigger to cooking in my previous relationship and it was very hard to share.
I really find hard to navigate relationships in a culture that is so entrenched in gender roles and patriarchal thinking.
Great video I relate to you so much!
I didnt wanna learn to cook growing up either, for the same reasons, now I cook for myself and I enjoy it so much.
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I find your videos very informational. Thank you
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jesus christ that intro is scary
Can you please indicate the name of content that the clips were included this video?
Sure: Mad Men, Darlings, Bend it like Beckham, Desperate Housewives, and 50 Shades Freed
you have a very hard punjabi accent
LOL I speak Punjabi fluently so 😁