What is so strange about toxic families is that i was in my early 50's and brother treated me exactly the same way when i was 18 or 20. Yelling, calling me names, and when he started treating my husband the same way, calling him the idiot that is when i realized that he has to be eliminated from my life completely. I have not spoken to him for 3 years and just thinking about him i get anxious.
The grandfather was the most sick and disgusting person I have ever heard about. I'll never understand how families hide this or condone sexually abusing small children.
I'm reading Kim's book and can't stop crying (75% through it)....this woman is incredibly. An incredible writer, but also an incredible human~ to have gone through what she endured from a grandfather who _should have loved her, protected her,_ I'm just so angry for that little girl!! Kim, if there's a chance you're reading these comments, I'm a stranger to you but I'm sending you so much love and the biggest of hugs. I'm so sorry. But I'm grateful that you didn't give up. You found your voice and you are bringing awareness to something so sinister that lives in the dark. Thank You. ❤
I was not taught intimacy I was taught to be used and abused. I have had to learn to know how to identify people/family who are NOT willing TO CARE about how I feel. Those who refuse to care will abuse, humiliate and treat others with contempt, and they will strike out and hurt others, because they see this as FUN, Uplifting and hurting others makes them feel powerful. Knowing this was huge for me.
My mom is a narc. I cry thinking of all the invalidations... Still at this age of 54 and my mom 83. Just like Kimberly is crying thinking of the lack of validation from her mom.. Oh so relatable. Thank you Kimberley.
You're not alone. I'm around your age and my NM died in 2021 and I never received validation. I cry a lot just thinking how my mother could be so cruel & heartless. I'm so sorry that you have to experience this. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. ❤
@@mday3821 and every one else with these “mothers”they are good at living a very long time- don’t have to be nice about it- you can imagine telling her what’s for, dancing on her grave, whatever works for you. It is totally and completely pointless trying to explain to people who don’t know- haven’t experienced it. So seize whatever you like for you- that’s what lots of drama therapists and the like spend a very long time getting to some imagined stage of understanding and supporting expression through movement sound etc. Do it for yourself 💪. And after remind yourself you are here a grown adult alive and she is dead, gone.
I totally want to sue the fed government DOJ for what they did to me!!! I want them to PaY dearly for their treachery to me! In fact I want the death penalty for those who absolutely betrayed me as woman as a mother as an assaulted mother!!
@@yukio_saito the one before it (When the Body Says No) is SOOOOOO good! I've listened to the audio twice back to back, I liked it that much. I refer to it and recommend it often, just cuz it's so nice to finally have what my body has known, but my mind has not really understand put into words with so much proof behind it, all gathered into one place. I don't want to over hype it, so I'll just say *I * think it's been a long time coming. And the Myth of Normal is pretty high up there too. He builds on the previous one tho.
@@yukio_saito I feel like I need a book club with these two and a few others, cuz I don't know any irl folks who've read it and I wanna hear people's thoughts etc.
Wow. The abuse not harming her as much as the family invalidating the abuse resonated so much with me. I was preyed upon for sexual molestation by a church member (who thankfully was interrupted by someone entering the back room.) My five year old self wasn't afraid in that moment because, honestly, I didn't know enough to know that I should have been afraid. What I did know enough to fear was when my mother snatched the picture I'd drawn of the incident out of my hand, sneered, and spat out that she'd show it to my father. I remember sitting in the living room waiting for them to finish talking before my dad would talk to me. I heard my mother spit out the word "Pornography." I was terrified. My parents came in and my mother aggressively told me to tell my father what I'd told her. I shut up and said it was a picture of a man fishing and it looked like that because I didn't get to finish it before she took it away. That was self-preservation. I lied and believed I'd go to hell for it and am glad my young self loved myself enough to be quiet and keep my private things private. Later, after I was r@ped as a young adult, my mother found evidence and pressured me to admit what was going on. (She found a paper trail of medical bills.) She pressured me relentlessly to give up my secret and I finally did just to get the pressure to stop. She won what she wanted (zero boundaries from me) and assured "me" that, when she looks at me, she sees a virgin. I was indifferent to my mom up to that point but that astoundingly self-centered reassurance(?) gave me permission never to pursue any affirmation or sense of identity from my mother again. She's utterly incapable and freeing myself from any dependency was the most honest, integral, and loving thing I could do to myself. Thank you so much for this interview, Dr. Ramani. I'll listen to this one repeatedly and let it do its magic resonating with so many deep parts of myself.
100% it's the reactions of those who are meant to love and protect us that caused my psychological brain 'snap'. That was my trauma. Mine was physical and psychological abuse. I cannot even imagine sexual abuse. I hope you're okay because you deserve to be✌
My dad wasnt normally a violent person, yet he once grabbed my arm and swung me around to punish me for something I did (but can't remember because I disassociated most of my childhood). I told a neighbor. She told my mom. My mother went ballistic. Screaming at me "never tell anyone about anything that happens in this house!!!" I was 4 yrs old. Lesson learned ✔️
My grandfather was raping my aunt from 6 years old all the way till she started menstruating. He was never punished. She still had a relationship with him as an adult. She did become a paranoid schizophrenic. When he died I didn’t care at all. I was happy he was finally gone. My mother would always tell me not to stay alone with grandpa when I was visiting and then she told me why when I was a teen. Now I’m like- why the fuck would you let me be near this guy as a child!? But she was also the mom who was ok with me dating a 24 year old when I was 15 🙄
To go through all of that and marry a special man and have a beautiful daughter and career is an accomplishment that is incredible. Thank you. I am 77 and am living in a very toxic situation created by my mother who passed in 2003. She said, oh, this will continue after I am gone.
Soo sorry 😢 this is often a dynamic in relationships 😔. We have to turn to our Father in heaven to understand what's pulling the strings in all these transactions. We have to get the knowledge to free us if the burdens of abuse. Through knowledge shall the JUST be delivered. Kevin la Ewing is a great teacher on this ❤
MY SEXUAL ABUSE STARTED AT 6…I TOLD MY 4 YO BROTHER IN SECRET AND HE TOLD ONE NIGHT WITH MY MOTHER’S FATHER WAS THE ABUSER..MY BROTHER AND I WERE FIGHTING OVER WHAT TO WATCH ON TV WITH MY MOTHER IN THE ROOM AND HER FATHER…I COULD HAVE GIVEN IN AND LET HIM WATCHED WHAT HE WANTED BUT I WANTED IT TOLD… MY MOTHER JUMPED UP SCREAMING AT ME TO GO TO MY ROOM… THAT MEANT A WHIPPING USUALLY…SO I WAS CRYING AND HIDING IN MY CLOSET… I HEARD HER VOICE AND HIS VOICE BUT COULDN’T UNDERSTAND THE WORDS… SHE COMES IN WITH A BIG LEATHER STRAP THAT WE WERE BEAT WITH… SHE CALLS ME OUT NOW OR I WAS GETTING A WHOOPING… I CAME OUT AND SHE SAID SHE ASKED HER FATHER AND HE SAID I WAS LYING AND IF I TOLD ANYONE THIS LIE AGAIN I WOULD BE TAKEN TO JAIL AND NEVER SEE HER OR MY BROTHERS AGAIN..SO I BECAME A GREAT HIDER!!! UNDER THE HOUSE, IN THE BARN, THE WOODS ANYWHERE I COULD HIDE… HE WOULD YELL AT ME AND SAY IF I DIDNT COME OUT HE WAS GOING TO MAKE SURE I WAS PUNISHED…SO I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN TO NOT TRUST ADULTS OR AUTHORITY FIGURES…I PULLED A DOUBLE BARRELLED SHOTGUN ON HIM WHEN I WAS 12 IN THE LOFT OF THE BARN AND TOLD HIM AS HE UNBUCKLED HIS PANTS, UNBUTTONED HIS PANTS AND LOWERED HIS ZIPPER…YOU GO AHEAD OLD MAN AND HAVE FUN BECAUSE ITS YOUR LAST TIME… I WILL SHOOT YOU BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND WHEN HE WAS ON HIS KNEES BLEEDING TO DEATH I WOULD SHOOT HIM BETWEEN THE EYES…. HE LOOKED AT ME AND THE SHOTGUN AND KNEW I MEANT IT…I HEARD MY MOTHER TELL MY GRANDFATHER THAT I HAD STARTED MY CYCLE AT 10 AND HE NEEDED TO BE CAREFUL…😮😮😮 ALL THE REST OF MY LIFE I DIDNT TRUST AUTHORITY FIGURES… I HAD PROBLEMS WORKING, MARRYING AND SEXUAL PROBLEMS AND FEELING DIRTY AND IT WAS A DUTY EXPECTED FROM ME FOR SOME WHERE TO LIVE OR FOOD ETC…. I HAVE SEVERE PROBLEMS WORKING WITH RESPECT TO MY BOSSES…I DIDNT WANT ANYONE TO THINK THEY CONTROLLED ME!!!! AND SCHOOL???? SERIOUSLY??? WHAT DIFFERENCE DID MATH, SCIENCE OR MATH MAKE FOR ME??? GUN LOADING, SHOOTING SPOTS TO KILL AND SELF DEFENCE WAS WHAT I NEEDED!!!!😢😢😢😢
Wow 😮 the stories we have to tell, I tell you. You are very intelligent and thoughtful towards others just can't get them to see it at times,they always mistake something for nothing 😔🙏🏽 it's like a hole 🕳️ in the ground no matter how you stop it up it keeps on sucking from us. W you have purpose in this world Yours I bet is to help 😢. The journey to Jesus Christ 🙌🏽 is needed in this process, 💖 we have to know WHY it's happening and what to really really do to combat the issues we face. Kevin la Ewing is a great teacher on these things. Through knowledge shall the JUST be delivered 🙏🏽💕. I pray you find the truth of it all with GOD'S hand guiding you through it.
I am 75 and have CPTSD from early childhood abandonment. It took 72 years for me to find out why I felt so strange around everyone. It took these channels to find out why I was never comfortable with anyone in this world. Once I started hearing it was my mom, dad and 10 year older than me sister, I embraced everything I was hearing. And by that I mean I took action under Ross Rosenberg. He finally redirected me to Lisa Romano to get my deep trauma healed. I am a work in progress. I feel lighter and happier now that I have learned I have the right to say NO. I am happier now that I have learnedI have the right to dismiss hurtful apple from my life. There is no reason to listen to their negative snide comments and wither under their disapproval. I so admire Kimberly because I see a fellow survivor of neglect and abuse. In comparison I have many friends who don't want to face their damaged toxic upbringing. They are continuing to continue their family's generational trauma. I am probably too harsh, but it sickens me to witness their denial. They pity me because I am facing my trauma head on. You go Kimberly. You go girl👍👍👍
There wasn’t any boundaries in my parental house .. my stepfather abuser would hide in my bedroom closet , and sneak out when I was sleeping , I was 13 when I realized why he was doing this , I woke up one morning and found semen on my bed . He wouldn’t allow locks on the bathroom door and just walk in while showering , I wouldn’t tell anybody bc he threatened me w a belt
It is very difficult to understand people with this personality disorder especially if it was your mother.My experience being a mom was a deep, enduring and everlasting love for that new life within.
I marvel at this young woman. Her ability to speak so straight forward is truly remarkable. She helps me get thru her agonizing past by being so open and vulnerable. I cannot be more amazed at her. May God bless and keep her safe going forward. I wish I could have protected her. I extend my comfort, such as it is, to her.
I have family members who had this sort of abuse happen to most of the girls (at least 5 of 7) in the family. What saved the others was that they were too young. It all came to light when one of them either committed suicide or was most most likely killed by the abuser, who was their father. She was pregnant at the time. I was 5, so I don't know many details or remember them. I lived 2 houses down from this family, the youngest was my best friend. There has never been any real healing and they all love and adore their mother, the mother who was probably very aware of the abuse.
Her daughter asking that question at her age “ Did he hurt you with his hands or did he hurt your heart ? “ what an amazing question. My daughter is the same way she figured things out she see what’s going on in other family and my husband and his family. I want her to know everything she can learn knowledge is power no one ever taught me anything my mother never protected me. She never told me to beware of this or watch out for that. I got none of that.
Its is very validating to hear these stories, always learning, I have gone no contact with my narcissistic mother - lost my younger sister but reconnected with other siblings who were scapegoated - my mother is a counsellor coaching others lol as a so called local therapist - it just cant get any better
🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨Dr Ramani we absolutely NEED you to have a chat with Dr GABOR MATE!!!!!! because he truly believes that every human being can be socially rehabilitated. It could be an amazing episode 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
Wow, this is so my story! As a child I thought I was the only one this happening to. As I got older I learned it was happening to all the females in the family. But I learned in bits and pieces. The males we trained to do the same. My aunts and grandmother protected the abusers.
Good for you Kimberly and God bless Dr. Ramani for giving you a platform to share and be validated within. There are millions of girls and women who sadly will never have that opportunity because they're not in a supportive safe family system like you are, nor are they persons of noteriority. Also, every truth sayer and scapegoat of an "enmeshed" or dysfunctional family system suffers terribly whether or not they were sexually abused or not. Emotional, mental, physical and spiritual abuse are not less damaging.
You are so brave, my abuser is still alive. My stepfather always tells me I wanted it and I gave it to you. That is his explanation until this day the whole family still blames me for what happened. Yeah a 12 year old girl can totally take on and abuse a man in his 30's is beyond me. I am the black sheep of the family but since I have NO contact with them, I feel much better. I just wished people believed me when I was a kid. This story of yours Kimberly is so relatable. Your amazing! I am totally going to read your book! I wish you the best!
I so related to her story. I am also a survivor of sexual abuse, and I have cut myself off from my toxic family. When my abuser, father died, I was so happy, but I also had PTSD after that as well, and that was awful. I was forced to get help. My mother was a narcissist who was diagnosed with NPD right before she died. Thank you for sharing your story. Great interview.
Yes when my Mother died my abuser I wanted to have a party I was so relieved and felt guilty for years for feeling that way Thanks for Sharing that you were relieved when he died
32:40 a PRICELESS gift. It was life-changing for me and for my daughter. When she took her first breath, I made a promise to her and at 17, I had to grow up quickly. My daughter is now 33 yrs young and a brand new mommy. My first grandchild, a beautiful baby girl -who I protect like Fort Knox. I FULFILLED my PROMISE. 🥰
I am only this far, 35:21 mins/secs. Been listening for well over an hour. This talk, by far, has "validated" my own sick family. I have a childhood friend, we reconnected 3yrs ago.. Small rural town/school,, in South Dakota , our class of #10, 1982 Grads. I have unloaded it all on him. VALIDATE.!!! That is the one word I go to, that has profoundly pushed me up and over that hill. VALIDATION . THANK YOU
Fantastic interview: this feels like a beautifully annotated therapy session. Thank you Kimberley for her vulnerability and Dr Ramani for the wisdom and compassionate.
Another post, so timely, so very healing, so very much acknowledging the ugly truth of being “loved and bound”. Yes, these videos can be triggering and I have to choose not to listen on a particular day. But when I do listen, such validation and hope, restoration of courage and dignity. Thank you both. How I wish you did not have this kind of journey, but grateful for your passion to heal and rise above.
Recognize the crying. I cried myself to sleep every night. Was diagnosed with depression as an adult, depression and anxiety and then Graves disease (an autoimmune disease that comes after big stress) At 46 Im finally better for the first time in my life..But my adrenals are..tired. Its a work in progress, I may never fully recover but am 80% better. recognize the bad therapists aswell, ended up at one that kept the abuse going, called me inmature when I finally got angry at the abuser after 40+ years of hell. "How inmature!" When I tried to get out of the therapy she threatened me a´wiuth "Im the only one with psychodynamic therapy in this state, Im one out of 400, you'll never find one like me so good luck" Thought that sounded strange so I looked it up and there was a whole list of others..She lied right through her teeth. I quit and found one thats so nice and kind I am now working with, he doesnt really know these violent dynamics but its better than nothing, I guess. :)
Took me a long time to find the right therapist. But now that I have im finally starting my healing process. Any therapist that can't or won't listen and hear what your really saying isn't worth it. If they just want to focus on your behavior or your PTSD symptoms being out of control and make you feel guilty for being traumatized in the 1st place. You, we all deserve to be heard. People start to heal when they feel heard and understood. We all have to start there, or how can ever heal? ❤️ Peace
Thanks Dr. Ramani for another wonderful video. What was so special was your interaction with Kimberly. She actually freed you this time. You did not have to 'walk on eggshells' with Kimberly. You and Kimberly worked hand 'n hand to let the story flow smoothly and with enthusiasm. Great video!
Dr. Ramani please consider a detailed lengthy video explaining the value of journaling. So far my predominate help has come from self help books and these wonderful videos. So how will journaling propel my healing? I know that learning to say NO from Ross Rosenberg, and being taught the myriad of signs to look for and listen to has done a great deal for my healing. Thank you for every ounce of your time.
Journaling is really great I have been doing it for years to help me deal with my trauma I was sexually emotionally and verbally abused as a child I blocked out what happened to me for years until I was a teenager I'm 32 years old now
Such a strong individual! Kimberly went through soooo much! Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for giving me the words and strength to work through my own abuse in and outside my family system. 🙏💪🍀💖
My dad. Lost my family. Don’t know if my sister remembers. I do, but I didn’t tell family. Sister treated me like I was the problem, maybe she believed it.
I certainly do feel the grief. But I'm never clear on where the shame comes in. I don't feel it, or don't know that I'm feeling it. I guess I need more concise teaching on the shame aspect also. Will you pleas consider doing that also Dr.Ramani? Thank you for what you have already taught me.
Thats the key most of us never get. She found something meaningful thst she's good at. I am desperately trying to achieve something that makes me feel like the was a reason for my suffering. I want personal redemption that i matter. Sure you can crap fit and convince yourself that 9-5 job has meaning when you're going through the motions. But its hard when you were robbed of your true path.
I've lived this story and empathise with everything shared in Kimberly's story. I believe in telling the truth about generational abuse and going on the journey to heal is difficult beyond words. I appreciate this platform and the hope it brings me and others
Just 2 mins in, I love this lady! Speaks volumes for anyone in a family with any kind of inter generational any use. Her story is very valuable to all of us who saw it felt it suffered it, to know we aren't the crazy ones. Our parents weren't our safe space and that was wrong ✌
MY FIRST THERAPIST WAS A PASTOR AT THE CHURCH I ATTENDED WITH HIS WIFE AND MY HUSBAND PRESENT…. I HAD TO TURN MY BACK TO EVERYONE EXCEPT MY HUSBAND AND THEY TOLD ME TO LOOK UP CERTAIN SCRIPTURES AND PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS FOR HIM AND MY PARENTS AND MYSELF FOR NOT SPEAKING OUT SOONER…. I LEFT AND NEVER SAW THEM AGAIN…😂😂😂😂😂
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm only halfway through, but I had to stop and Thank you. I really needed to hear when said you wished you had of dealt with your trauma separately. Instead of grouping yourself with the other adult members of your family that had trauma. Thanks for letting me hear that. I needed to hear that to know what I'm doing and how I feel towards my family is just. I was a child. And they were adults that didn't help or want help.
Amazing interview. Thankyou Dr. Romani. Powerful young woman, at times I think you were lost for words. On the upside we could see glimpses of her strong personality. I can relate when down and nowhere to go, there is a strong inner person who is still there. Best wishes from N.I. ❤
She says "There are many people who are therapists and who shouldn't be". She is right. In a couple's therapy its mostly the narcissistic spouse who is paying the therapist's bill. So these therapist will not tell their cash cow that he/she is a narcissist bc then they stop coming. So they will actually become enablers here to gaslight the victim that somehow its their fault they are getting abused!
I loved that in this particular interview Dr.Ramani really took out her therapist toolbox. We really got to see what it’s like to share something so profoundly upsetting with someone who is validating and lovely, but also very smart, like Dr. Ramani. I know that I was very healing for me to witness this. I’m also very proud of Kimberly as a fellow family scapegoat who has recently gone no contact. Her story really inspired me to believe that it gets better, I honestly didn’t even think love and parenting was even an option for someone who has gone through familial abuse… but she is proof that it can be done and a healthy person can be attracted to someone who has gone through so much pain. Thank you so much for sharing your story Kim ❤
What an amazing lady / child. 💜 God bless her, she was so strong and smart even tho she was scared, alone and confused. Thx Doc - you both are helping so many. - I thank God for this evil to finally be addressed so openly and the "grown-up little ones" who went thru this are finally being believed and finding out that they're loved and listened to by many who really do care and are so sorry they had to endure this. 🌷
Omg this happened to me. My mom didn’t believe me, but when it happened to my sister she believed. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I am so unkind to myself sometimes and so grateful when I actually catch it and it’s not so unconscious. It’s so uncomfortable and it’s getting better and it sucks and it’s getting better.
59:15 whew. .. When regret and relief share the same sigh... Like rain and light in the same sky.... It's a sun shower... This beautiful mother is also a beautiful daughter and shows us just how much we can go through without losing our light
You are a brave and courageous truth teller and you bring clarity and comfort to other survivors of generational abuse. We are strong and able to stand alone in our families to break cycles even if we would have greatly preferred just to be safe. Thank you, thank you.
"Did he hurt your heart, or did he hurt you with his hands?" I actually teared up at this. Kimberly here is actually breaking the cycle. It ran in the family, until it ran into her. Such courage, and strength she had and still has to break this awful awful cycle.
Unfortunately, I relate. It's confusing, resentment, and numerous mixed emotions. Once, I understood physical abuse that was mind boggling. The rape, thank you, Lord; I forgot most of my life, left my heart broken, hate came into the picture. Now, understanding emotional abuse. A few months ago, I became pissed, wanting folks to feel my pain. I really wasn't ok. It was difficult absorbing the information in the narcissistium. It's been decades dealing with these patterns, throughout childhood, my marriage, after marriage, and friendships. That, it was time for a reset. I don't want family around, too abusive. I, now, find myself growing better. Sucks, yes, though, there is peace. I realized; I can't change the situation other than taking myself out of the situation. Thank you, Lord for giving me the courage to change my life, and Thank you, Dr. Ramani; you made a difference in my life with these podcasts. I am looking forward to listening to your book, reading is difficult for me.
Amazing interview. Thank you so much Kinberley for your vulnerability. You are an amazing mother to your daughter. Thank you Dr Ramani for your empathy, validation and all you do for us survivors at no charge. God bless you more ❤❤❤
Dr. Ramani! Thank you for doing a deep dive into this disorder. You talk about self gaslighting because of narc abuse. That's new to me and his a cord. Have you done a video on that?
The narcissistic abuse happens in two generation in our family..I suspect my grandmother was a narc, abandoning her 9 children ...As a result, some of her children developed personality disorders and alcoholism...My uncle has abandoned her two children..And my childhood was very very traumatic because of my abusive mother and aunt....
My story. My father my older brother. 2 uncles. My aunt had 9 children; their father molested all- 5 girls , 4 boys. They all died early , the women of cancer. The men of alcoholism. Another aunt died in her eighty’s. Her 2 daughters could not be found. They left home in junior high when their mother sided with their father over invest. As well as molesting their ftiends
Another sacrificial lamb. It been interesting for me to hear this interveiw. Enmeshment is what my family is....its good to have a word for it. And a slightly better understanding of it all. I havent had much contact with my family for 20 years, but when I do its like going to the twilight zone. Youre amazing Kimberly. Im so pleased you have the right support to speak out and to climb out of that shit.Its so hard. Go Girl!! The ground is shifting and you move it for us as well. Respect.
I just got to the end and am listening to the takeaways.....phew....I think my inner child is relieved to hear them....I wish I could speak out more..everyone Ive told has pretty much made my experience worse. The judgement for going no contact with family iand the lack of support to speak out is unbelievable. We really do have to change this ignorant lack of understanding and make it easier for people to intergrate what has happened and find ways to cope. So many just fade away into the distance and stay in fear. And why wouldnt they! Thank you for this incredible interview.
Maybe it's dumb - and it clearly is a part of my conditioning - but when I hear such stories I automatically think: see they had it worse so you have no right to tell your story and it's already told anyways! --> Guess my mother was really afraid I tell anyone! I'm so grateful for anyone who shares their story! I'm learning and gathering my strength to tell mine some time. I hope you all have someone to keep you sane and protected! Love and greetings from Austria!💜💜💜💜💜
You are a very brave woman. I wish you all the best and maybe some day your healing will reach a place that you can be ordinary and average- the pinnacle for the great brave warrior healers.
Her family have treated her so cruelly, that's so bad! Her younger sister saying that she would ruin things with her book. I felt for her so bad with that 😯
I’ve been living low contact not realizing that was a thing. Each new event meant less contact. 3 weeks is the longest I’ve gone before checking on her. She has no idea that I’m journaling and remembering and putting all the dots together.
First of all You appear to be age 21 😊I am so thankful that you overcame all the obstacles and yes you are your ancestors greatest inspiration! Your daughter has an Amazing Mom full of grace, beauty and strength ❤❤❤❤ 50:53
Kimberly mentions her husband couldn't understand why she speaks to her family. I had the opposite, massively invalidating experience. My first longterm boyfriend continued exchanging pleasantries with the rapist and my ex husband shamed me for choosing to cut contact with family members who won't even acknowledge the effect that this repeated trauma has on my life. I have zero emotional support from any of my family and the isolation and pain I feel is unfathomable. My father to this day claims the rapist is not to blame because he was too young but he is 8 years older than me and did this to me behind closed doors and threatened me not to tell anyone. He knew exactly that what he was doing was evil and sick.
Dr. Ramani validates sooooo many people. She is saving humanity! This deserves something like the Nobel Prize 🏆.
yeah she should! She is an amazing woman!
Yes❤❤❤
❤100%
Yes absolutely 🔥💥❤
Oh c'mon
What is so strange about toxic families is that i was in my early 50's and brother treated me exactly the same way when i was 18 or 20. Yelling, calling me names, and when he started treating my husband the same way, calling him the idiot that is when i realized that he has to be eliminated from my life completely. I have not spoken to him for 3 years and just thinking about him i get anxious.
The grandfather was the most sick and disgusting person I have ever heard about. I'll never understand how families hide this or condone sexually abusing small children.
Never!
I'm reading Kim's book and can't stop crying (75% through it)....this woman is incredibly. An incredible writer, but also an incredible human~ to have gone through what she endured from a grandfather who _should have loved her, protected her,_ I'm just so angry for that little girl!!
Kim, if there's a chance you're reading these comments, I'm a stranger to you but I'm sending you so much love and the biggest of hugs. I'm so sorry. But I'm grateful that you didn't give up. You found your voice and you are bringing awareness to something so sinister that lives in the dark.
Thank You. ❤
I was not taught intimacy I was taught to be used and abused. I have had to learn to know how to identify people/family who are NOT willing TO CARE about how I feel. Those who refuse to care will abuse, humiliate and treat others with contempt, and they will strike out and hurt others, because they see this as FUN, Uplifting and hurting others makes them feel powerful. Knowing this was huge for me.
Me too. I’m still dealing with it, and it’s has broken me passed any healing.😔 I trust no one because of it.
It's all a game to narcs ... They always want to win...they never love anyone but themselves...and even at that...they loath themselves.
@@justice8563❤❤❤❤
Good for you. Onward and upward.
This is so true! Thank you.
My mom is a narc. I cry thinking of all the invalidations... Still at this age of 54 and my mom 83.
Just like Kimberly is crying thinking of the lack of validation from her mom.. Oh so relatable. Thank you Kimberley.
🫂
You're not alone. I'm around your age and my NM died in 2021 and I never received validation. I cry a lot just thinking how my mother could be so cruel & heartless.
I'm so sorry that you have to experience this. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. ❤
@@mday3821 and every one else with these “mothers”they are good at living a very long time- don’t have to be nice about it- you can imagine telling her what’s for, dancing on her grave, whatever works for you. It is totally and completely pointless trying to explain to people who don’t know- haven’t experienced it. So seize whatever you like for you- that’s what lots of drama therapists and the like spend a very long time getting to some imagined stage of understanding and supporting expression through movement sound etc. Do it for yourself 💪. And after remind yourself you are here a grown adult alive and she is dead, gone.
Me too :(
I totally want to sue the fed government DOJ for what they did to me!!! I want them to PaY dearly for their treachery to me! In fact I want the death penalty for those who absolutely betrayed me as woman as a mother as an assaulted mother!!
It would be AMAZING if Dr. Ramani and Doctor Mate had a conversation. The two are warriors of light in this world.
Yessssss! I daydream about this, regularly! Let's start a strong nudge for that big important convo to happen. 😅
I've just got his book "The Myth of Normal." I'm looking forward to reading it.🙂
@@yukio_saito the one before it (When the Body Says No) is SOOOOOO good! I've listened to the audio twice back to back, I liked it that much. I refer to it and recommend it often, just cuz it's so nice to finally have what my body has known, but my mind has not really understand put into words with so much proof behind it, all gathered into one place. I don't want to over hype it, so I'll just say *I * think it's been a long time coming. And the Myth of Normal is pretty high up there too. He builds on the previous one tho.
@@orielwiggins2225 That's good to hear. I also ordered that one. Thanks.❤
@@yukio_saito I feel like I need a book club with these two and a few others, cuz I don't know any irl folks who've read it and I wanna hear people's thoughts etc.
Wow. The abuse not harming her as much as the family invalidating the abuse resonated so much with me. I was preyed upon for sexual molestation by a church member (who thankfully was interrupted by someone entering the back room.) My five year old self wasn't afraid in that moment because, honestly, I didn't know enough to know that I should have been afraid. What I did know enough to fear was when my mother snatched the picture I'd drawn of the incident out of my hand, sneered, and spat out that she'd show it to my father. I remember sitting in the living room waiting for them to finish talking before my dad would talk to me. I heard my mother spit out the word "Pornography." I was terrified. My parents came in and my mother aggressively told me to tell my father what I'd told her. I shut up and said it was a picture of a man fishing and it looked like that because I didn't get to finish it before she took it away. That was self-preservation. I lied and believed I'd go to hell for it and am glad my young self loved myself enough to be quiet and keep my private things private.
Later, after I was r@ped as a young adult, my mother found evidence and pressured me to admit what was going on. (She found a paper trail of medical bills.) She pressured me relentlessly to give up my secret and I finally did just to get the pressure to stop. She won what she wanted (zero boundaries from me) and assured "me" that, when she looks at me, she sees a virgin. I was indifferent to my mom up to that point but that astoundingly self-centered reassurance(?) gave me permission never to pursue any affirmation or sense of identity from my mother again. She's utterly incapable and freeing myself from any dependency was the most honest, integral, and loving thing I could do to myself.
Thank you so much for this interview, Dr. Ramani. I'll listen to this one repeatedly and let it do its magic resonating with so many deep parts of myself.
I am so sorry❤ I am so glad you ended up choosing YOU, your safety, health and sanity.
100% it's the reactions of those who are meant to love and protect us that caused my psychological brain 'snap'. That was my trauma. Mine was physical and psychological abuse. I cannot even imagine sexual abuse. I hope you're okay because you deserve to be✌
My dad wasnt normally a violent person, yet he once grabbed my arm and swung me around to punish me for something I did (but can't remember because I disassociated most of my childhood). I told a neighbor. She told my mom. My mother went ballistic. Screaming at me "never tell anyone about anything that happens in this house!!!" I was 4 yrs old. Lesson learned ✔️
My grandfather was raping my aunt from 6 years old all the way till she started menstruating. He was never punished. She still had a relationship with him as an adult. She did become a paranoid schizophrenic.
When he died I didn’t care at all. I was happy he was finally gone.
My mother would always tell me not to stay alone with grandpa when I was visiting and then she told me why when I was a teen.
Now I’m like- why the fuck would you let me be near this guy as a child!? But she was also the mom who was ok with me dating a 24 year old when I was 15 🙄
That's so hard to explain. I've heard it before, but will never understand.
To go through all of that and marry a special man and have a beautiful daughter and career is an accomplishment that is incredible. Thank you.
I am 77 and am living in a very toxic situation created by my mother who passed in 2003. She said, oh, this will continue after I am gone.
Soo sorry 😢 this is often a dynamic in relationships 😔. We have to turn to our Father in heaven to understand what's pulling the strings in all these transactions. We have to get the knowledge to free us if the burdens of abuse.
Through knowledge shall the JUST be delivered.
Kevin la Ewing is a great teacher on this ❤
MY SEXUAL ABUSE STARTED AT 6…I TOLD MY 4 YO BROTHER IN SECRET AND HE TOLD ONE NIGHT WITH MY MOTHER’S FATHER WAS THE ABUSER..MY BROTHER AND I WERE FIGHTING OVER WHAT TO WATCH ON TV WITH MY MOTHER IN THE ROOM AND HER FATHER…I COULD HAVE GIVEN IN AND LET HIM WATCHED WHAT HE WANTED BUT I WANTED IT TOLD… MY MOTHER JUMPED UP SCREAMING AT ME TO GO TO MY ROOM… THAT MEANT A WHIPPING USUALLY…SO I WAS CRYING AND HIDING IN MY CLOSET… I HEARD HER VOICE AND HIS VOICE BUT COULDN’T UNDERSTAND THE WORDS… SHE COMES IN WITH A BIG LEATHER STRAP THAT WE WERE BEAT WITH… SHE CALLS ME OUT NOW OR I WAS GETTING A WHOOPING… I CAME OUT AND SHE SAID SHE ASKED HER FATHER AND HE SAID I WAS LYING AND IF I TOLD ANYONE THIS LIE AGAIN I WOULD BE TAKEN TO JAIL AND NEVER SEE HER OR MY BROTHERS AGAIN..SO I BECAME A GREAT HIDER!!! UNDER THE HOUSE, IN THE BARN, THE WOODS ANYWHERE I COULD HIDE… HE WOULD YELL AT ME AND SAY IF I DIDNT COME OUT HE WAS GOING TO MAKE SURE I WAS PUNISHED…SO I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN TO NOT TRUST ADULTS OR AUTHORITY FIGURES…I PULLED A DOUBLE BARRELLED SHOTGUN ON HIM WHEN I WAS 12 IN THE LOFT OF THE BARN AND TOLD HIM AS HE UNBUCKLED HIS PANTS, UNBUTTONED HIS PANTS AND LOWERED HIS ZIPPER…YOU GO AHEAD OLD MAN AND HAVE FUN BECAUSE ITS YOUR LAST TIME… I WILL SHOOT YOU BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND WHEN HE WAS ON HIS KNEES BLEEDING TO DEATH I WOULD SHOOT HIM BETWEEN THE EYES…. HE LOOKED AT ME AND THE SHOTGUN AND KNEW I MEANT IT…I HEARD MY MOTHER TELL MY GRANDFATHER THAT I HAD STARTED MY CYCLE AT 10 AND HE NEEDED TO BE CAREFUL…😮😮😮 ALL THE REST OF MY LIFE I DIDNT TRUST AUTHORITY FIGURES… I HAD PROBLEMS WORKING, MARRYING AND SEXUAL PROBLEMS AND FEELING DIRTY AND IT WAS A DUTY EXPECTED FROM ME FOR SOME WHERE TO LIVE OR FOOD ETC…. I HAVE SEVERE PROBLEMS WORKING WITH RESPECT TO MY BOSSES…I DIDNT WANT ANYONE TO THINK THEY CONTROLLED ME!!!! AND SCHOOL???? SERIOUSLY??? WHAT DIFFERENCE DID MATH, SCIENCE OR MATH MAKE FOR ME??? GUN LOADING, SHOOTING SPOTS TO KILL AND SELF DEFENCE WAS WHAT I NEEDED!!!!😢😢😢😢
Wow 😮 the stories we have to tell, I tell you. You are very intelligent and thoughtful towards others just can't get them to see it at times,they always mistake something for nothing 😔🙏🏽 it's like a hole 🕳️ in the ground no matter how you stop it up it keeps on sucking from us.
W you have purpose in this world
Yours I bet is to help 😢.
The journey to Jesus Christ 🙌🏽 is needed in this process, 💖 we have to know WHY it's happening and what to really really do to combat the issues we face.
Kevin la Ewing is a great teacher on these things. Through knowledge shall the JUST be delivered 🙏🏽💕.
I pray you find the truth of it all with GOD'S hand guiding you through it.
I am so proud of you. You were so amazingly strong. Blessings on your head.
I am 75 and have CPTSD from early childhood abandonment. It took 72 years for me to find out why I felt so strange around everyone. It took these channels to find out why I was never comfortable with anyone in this world. Once I started hearing it was my mom, dad and 10 year older than me sister, I embraced everything I was hearing. And by that I mean I took action under Ross Rosenberg. He finally redirected me to Lisa Romano to get my deep trauma healed. I am a work in progress. I feel lighter and happier now that I have learned I have the right to say NO. I am happier now that I have learnedI have the right to dismiss hurtful apple from my life. There is no reason to listen to their negative snide comments and wither under their disapproval. I so admire Kimberly because I see a fellow survivor of neglect and abuse. In comparison I have many friends who don't want to face their damaged toxic upbringing. They are continuing to continue their family's generational trauma. I am probably too harsh, but it sickens me to witness their denial. They pity me because I am facing my trauma head on. You go Kimberly. You go girl👍👍👍
You are brave to face your trauma head on I had to do that when I was a teenager
There wasn’t any boundaries in my parental house .. my stepfather abuser would hide in my bedroom closet , and sneak out when I was sleeping , I was 13 when I realized why he was doing this , I woke up one morning and found semen on my bed . He wouldn’t allow locks on the bathroom door and just walk in while showering , I wouldn’t tell anybody bc he threatened me w a belt
It is very difficult to understand people with this personality disorder especially if it was your mother.My experience being a mom was a deep, enduring and everlasting love for that new life within.
@@angelaholmes8888 Oh, that's wonderful...you recognized it very young.
@@victoriavitoroulis3273 I'm so sorry. I hope you are getting healing someway, somehow.
Journaling is a way of giving a voice to our inner child.
That's so true I have been journaling since I was a teenager it has helped me so much
Kimberley is very, very brave for sharing her story. Keep speaking. 😊 and I'm so, so sorry you had to endure that sexual abuse and its repucutions
Yeah she's brave
I marvel at this young woman. Her ability to speak so straight forward is truly remarkable. She helps me get thru her agonizing past by being so open and vulnerable. I cannot be more amazed at her. May God bless and keep her safe going forward. I wish I could have protected her. I extend my comfort, such as it is, to her.
I have family members who had this sort of abuse happen to most of the girls (at least 5 of 7) in the family. What saved the others was that they were too young. It all came to light when one of them either committed suicide or was most most likely killed by the abuser, who was their father. She was pregnant at the time. I was 5, so I don't know many details or remember them. I lived 2 houses down from this family, the youngest was my best friend. There has never been any real healing and they all love and adore their mother, the mother who was probably very aware of the abuse.
I teared up so many times during this interview. 🤗 ❤. Thank you for being strong women!!
Her daughter asking that question at her age “ Did he hurt you with his hands or did he hurt your heart ? “ what an amazing question. My daughter is the same way she figured things out she see what’s going on in other family and my husband and his family. I want her to know everything she can learn knowledge is power no one ever taught me anything my mother never protected me. She never told me to beware of this or watch out for that. I got none of that.
Its is very validating to hear these stories, always learning, I have gone no contact with my narcissistic mother - lost my younger sister but reconnected with other siblings who were scapegoated - my mother is a counsellor coaching others lol as a so called local therapist - it just cant get any better
🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨Dr Ramani we absolutely NEED you to have a chat with Dr GABOR MATE!!!!!! because he truly believes that every human being can be socially rehabilitated. It could be an amazing episode 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
There weren't any boundaries in my family too and it was easy for them to break the confidence
Wow, this is so my story! As a child I thought I was the only one this happening to. As
I got older I learned it was happening to all the females in the family. But I learned in bits and pieces. The males we trained to do the same. My aunts and grandmother
protected the abusers.
I love your brave spirit Kimberly. You amaze, amaze, amaze me!!!
Thank you for articulating my grief. Thank you for validating my choice to remove myself form my family of origin and step familly
My abusers told me if I told anyone they'd think I like it. These people are pure evil. Thank you for sharing.
Good for you Kimberly and God bless Dr. Ramani for giving you a platform to share and be validated within. There are millions of girls and women who sadly will never have that opportunity because they're not in a supportive safe family system like you are, nor are they persons of noteriority. Also, every truth sayer and scapegoat of an "enmeshed" or dysfunctional family system suffers terribly whether or not they were sexually abused or not. Emotional, mental, physical and spiritual abuse are not less damaging.
You are so brave, my abuser is still alive. My stepfather always tells me I wanted it and I gave it to you. That is his explanation until this day the whole family still blames me for what happened. Yeah a 12 year old girl can totally take on and abuse a man in his 30's is beyond me. I am the black sheep of the family but since I have NO contact with them, I feel much better. I just wished people believed me when I was a kid. This story of yours Kimberly is so relatable. Your amazing! I am totally going to read your book! I wish you the best!
59.40 the pain behind the eyes - yes once I got therapy I was able to see it in my childhood pics - so sad for a child to have that look - I get it
My heart goes out to this woman I hope her book will help other victims definitely will be reading it
What a wonderful person they threw away. This is so maddening.
I so related to her story. I am also a survivor of sexual abuse, and I have cut myself off from my toxic family. When my abuser, father died, I was so happy, but I also had PTSD after that as well, and that was awful. I was forced to get help. My mother was a narcissist who was diagnosed with NPD right before she died. Thank you for sharing your story. Great interview.
I always learn a lot from your videos and become more clear about navigating narcissism
Yes when my Mother died my abuser I wanted to have a party I was so relieved and felt guilty for years for feeling that way Thanks for Sharing that you were relieved when he died
32:40 a PRICELESS gift. It was life-changing for me and for my daughter.
When she took her first breath, I made a promise to her and at 17, I had to grow up quickly.
My daughter is now 33 yrs young and a brand new mommy. My first grandchild, a beautiful baby girl -who I protect like Fort Knox. I FULFILLED my PROMISE. 🥰
I am only this far, 35:21 mins/secs. Been listening for well over an hour. This talk, by far, has "validated" my own sick family. I have a childhood friend, we reconnected 3yrs ago.. Small rural town/school,, in South Dakota , our class of #10, 1982 Grads. I have unloaded it all on him. VALIDATE.!!! That is the one word I go to, that has profoundly pushed me up and over that hill. VALIDATION . THANK YOU
Fantastic interview: this feels like a beautifully annotated therapy session. Thank you Kimberley for her vulnerability and Dr Ramani for the wisdom and compassionate.
Kudos to Kimberly for being a truth seer and so courageous. Listening to this brought tears to my eyes several times.
Such a great interview. I sent it to my mom...we have to same issues in my family. So sad and sick.
Another post, so timely, so very healing, so very much acknowledging the ugly truth of being “loved and bound”. Yes, these videos can be triggering and I have to choose not to listen on a particular day. But when I do listen, such validation and hope, restoration of courage and dignity. Thank you both. How I wish you did not have this kind of journey, but grateful for your passion to heal and rise above.
Big hugs Kimberly. 🫂
Recognize the crying. I cried myself to sleep every night. Was diagnosed with depression as an adult, depression and anxiety and then Graves disease (an autoimmune disease that comes after big stress) At 46 Im finally better for the first time in my life..But my adrenals are..tired. Its a work in progress, I may never fully recover but am 80% better.
recognize the bad therapists aswell, ended up at one that kept the abuse going, called me inmature when I finally got angry at the abuser after 40+ years of hell. "How inmature!" When I tried to get out of the therapy she threatened me a´wiuth "Im the only one with psychodynamic therapy in this state, Im one out of 400, you'll never find one like me so good luck" Thought that sounded strange so I looked it up and there was a whole list of others..She lied right through her teeth. I quit and found one thats so nice and kind I am now working with, he doesnt really know these violent dynamics but its better than nothing, I guess. :)
Took me a long time to find the right therapist. But now that I have im finally starting my healing process. Any therapist that can't or won't listen and hear what your really saying isn't worth it. If they just want to focus on your behavior or your PTSD symptoms being out of control and make you feel guilty for being traumatized in the 1st place. You, we all deserve to be heard. People start to heal when they feel heard and understood. We all have to start there, or how can ever heal? ❤️ Peace
Thanks Dr. Ramani for another wonderful video. What was so special was your interaction with Kimberly. She actually freed you this time. You did not have to 'walk on eggshells' with Kimberly. You and Kimberly worked hand 'n hand to let the story flow smoothly and with enthusiasm. Great video!
I’m so so grateful for this ton of bravery and courage. Isn’t it amazing how we survived? Kudos to us ❤❤❤
Dr. Ramani please consider a detailed lengthy video explaining the value of journaling. So far my predominate help has come from self help books and these wonderful videos. So how will journaling propel my healing? I know that learning to say NO from Ross Rosenberg, and being taught the myriad of signs to look for and listen to has done a great deal for my healing. Thank you for every ounce of your time.
Journaling is really great I have been doing it for years to help me deal with my trauma I was sexually emotionally and verbally abused as a child I blocked out what happened to me for years until I was a teenager I'm 32 years old now
Such a strong individual! Kimberly went through soooo much! Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for giving me the words and strength to work through my own abuse in and outside my family system. 🙏💪🍀💖
My dad. Lost my family. Don’t know if my sister remembers. I do, but I didn’t tell family. Sister treated me like I was the problem, maybe she believed it.
She told my story and Dr. Armani’s attunement are all so incredibly validating. Thank you!
I certainly do feel the grief. But I'm never clear on where the shame comes in. I don't feel it, or don't know that I'm feeling it. I guess I need more concise teaching on the shame aspect also. Will you pleas consider doing that also Dr.Ramani? Thank you for what you have already taught me.
Thats the key most of us never get. She found something meaningful thst she's good at.
I am desperately trying to achieve something that makes me feel like the was a reason for my suffering. I want personal redemption that i matter.
Sure you can crap fit and convince yourself that 9-5 job has meaning when you're going through the motions. But its hard when you were robbed of your true path.
Thank you for your bravery Kimberly. ❤
Such a raw and deep conversation, thanks to you both🙏
I've lived this story and empathise with everything shared in Kimberly's story. I believe in telling the truth about generational abuse and going on the journey to heal is difficult beyond words. I appreciate this platform and the hope it brings me and others
Just 2 mins in, I love this lady! Speaks volumes for anyone in a family with any kind of inter generational any use. Her story is very valuable to all of us who saw it felt it suffered it, to know we aren't the crazy ones. Our parents weren't our safe space and that was wrong ✌
There's so much in this one I want to quote and save for myself. And share. Thank you!
MY FIRST THERAPIST WAS A PASTOR AT THE CHURCH I ATTENDED WITH HIS WIFE AND MY HUSBAND PRESENT…. I HAD TO TURN MY BACK TO EVERYONE EXCEPT MY HUSBAND AND THEY TOLD ME TO LOOK UP CERTAIN SCRIPTURES AND PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS FOR HIM AND MY PARENTS AND MYSELF FOR NOT SPEAKING OUT SOONER…. I LEFT AND NEVER SAW THEM AGAIN…😂😂😂😂😂
You are amazing Dr. Ramani and Kimberly.
Thank you ❤
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm only halfway through, but I had to stop and Thank you. I really needed to hear when said you wished you had of dealt with your trauma separately. Instead of grouping yourself with the other adult members of your family that had trauma. Thanks for letting me hear that. I needed to hear that to know what I'm doing and how I feel towards my family is just. I was a child. And they were adults that didn't help or want help.
This is so heartbreaking...
Thanks a lot !! Very helpful and healing !!
Amazing interview. Thankyou Dr. Romani. Powerful young woman, at times I think you were lost for words. On the upside we could see glimpses of her strong personality. I can relate when down and nowhere to go, there is a strong inner person who is still there. Best wishes from N.I. ❤
She says "There are many people who are therapists and who shouldn't be". She is right. In a couple's therapy its mostly the narcissistic spouse who is paying the therapist's bill. So these therapist will not tell their cash cow that he/she is a narcissist bc then they stop coming. So they will actually become enablers here to gaslight the victim that somehow its their fault they are getting abused!
I loved that in this particular interview Dr.Ramani really took out her therapist toolbox. We really got to see what it’s like to share something so profoundly upsetting with someone who is validating and lovely, but also very smart, like Dr. Ramani. I know that I was very healing for me to witness this. I’m also very proud of Kimberly as a fellow family scapegoat who has recently gone no contact. Her story really inspired me to believe that it gets better, I honestly didn’t even think love and parenting was even an option for someone who has gone through familial abuse… but she is proof that it can be done and a healthy person can be attracted to someone who has gone through so much pain. Thank you so much for sharing your story Kim ❤
What an amazing lady / child. 💜 God bless her, she was so strong and smart even tho she was scared, alone and confused. Thx Doc - you both are helping so many. - I thank God for this evil to finally be addressed so openly and the "grown-up little ones" who went thru this are finally being believed and finding out that they're loved and listened to by many who really do care and are so sorry they had to endure this. 🌷
Omg this happened to me. My mom didn’t believe me, but when it happened to my sister she believed. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I am so unkind to myself sometimes and so grateful when I actually catch it and it’s not so unconscious. It’s so uncomfortable and it’s getting better and it sucks and it’s getting better.
AMAZING strong, beautiful ladies both of you🙏🏾🌟💥.Thank you for your great work Dr.Ramani🖤💖
Thank you for sharing, Kimberly.
59:15 whew. ..
When regret and relief share the same sigh... Like rain and light in the same sky.... It's a sun shower... This beautiful mother is also a beautiful daughter and shows us just how much we can go through without losing our light
If something can be broken by the truth, then that thing needs to be broken.
Thank you so Much we you Dr Ramani and to Kimberly. Yessss! We have a voice ❤
Very good interview . I’m getting her book
You are a brave and courageous truth teller and you bring clarity and comfort to other survivors of generational abuse. We are strong and able to stand alone in our families to break cycles even if we would have greatly preferred just to be safe. Thank you, thank you.
This really made me cry. Thankyou for sharing
"Did he hurt your heart, or did he hurt you with his hands?"
I actually teared up at this. Kimberly here is actually breaking the cycle.
It ran in the family, until it ran into her. Such courage, and strength she had and still has to break this awful awful cycle.
I don’t understand why she lets her mom have access to her daughter
That woman did not protect and is not capable of protecting
Unfortunately, I relate. It's confusing, resentment, and numerous mixed emotions. Once, I understood physical abuse that was mind boggling. The rape, thank you, Lord; I forgot most of my life, left my heart broken, hate came into the picture. Now, understanding emotional abuse. A few months ago, I became pissed, wanting folks to feel my pain. I really wasn't ok. It was difficult absorbing the information in the narcissistium. It's been decades dealing with these patterns, throughout childhood, my marriage, after marriage, and friendships. That, it was time for a reset. I don't want family around, too abusive. I, now, find myself growing better. Sucks, yes, though, there is peace. I realized; I can't change the situation other than taking myself out of the situation. Thank you, Lord for giving me the courage to change my life, and Thank you, Dr. Ramani; you made a difference in my life with these podcasts. I am looking forward to listening to your book, reading is difficult for me.
Amazing interview. Thank you so much Kinberley for your vulnerability. You are an amazing mother to your daughter. Thank you Dr Ramani for your empathy, validation and all you do for us survivors at no charge. God bless you more ❤❤❤
This interview was amazing…these women are the epitome of strength, courage, and self awareness ❤❤
thank you
The most Important pod cast on earth!!
I felt relief as well. Relief and blankness
Dr. Ramani! Thank you for doing a deep dive into this disorder. You talk about self gaslighting because of narc abuse. That's new to me and his a cord. Have you done a video on that?
The narcissistic abuse happens in two generation in our family..I suspect my grandmother was a narc, abandoning her 9 children ...As a result, some of her children developed personality disorders and alcoholism...My uncle has abandoned her two children..And my childhood was very very traumatic because of my abusive mother and aunt....
These are my favorite videos that Dr Ramani does.
My story. My father my older brother. 2 uncles.
My aunt had 9 children; their father molested all- 5 girls , 4 boys. They all died early , the women of cancer. The men of alcoholism. Another aunt died in her eighty’s. Her 2 daughters could not be found. They left home in junior high when their mother sided with their father over invest. As well as molesting their ftiends
I’m 82 years old
Another sacrificial lamb. It been interesting for me to hear this interveiw. Enmeshment is what my family is....its good to have a word for it. And a slightly better understanding of it all. I havent had much contact with my family for 20 years, but when I do its like going to the twilight zone. Youre amazing Kimberly. Im so pleased you have the right support to speak out and to climb out of that shit.Its so hard. Go Girl!! The ground is shifting and you move it for us as well. Respect.
I just got to the end and am listening to the takeaways.....phew....I think my inner child is relieved to hear them....I wish I could speak out more..everyone Ive told has pretty much made my experience worse. The judgement for going no contact with family iand the lack of support to speak out is unbelievable. We really do have to change this ignorant lack of understanding and make it easier for people to intergrate what has happened and find ways to cope. So many just fade away into the distance and stay in fear. And why wouldnt they! Thank you for this incredible interview.
Maybe it's dumb - and it clearly is a part of my conditioning - but when I hear such stories I automatically think: see they had it worse so you have no right to tell your story and it's already told anyways! --> Guess my mother was really afraid I tell anyone!
I'm so grateful for anyone who shares their story! I'm learning and gathering my strength to tell mine some time.
I hope you all have someone to keep you sane and protected! Love and greetings from Austria!💜💜💜💜💜
You are a very brave woman. I wish you all the best and maybe some day your healing will reach a place that you can be ordinary and average- the pinnacle for the great brave warrior healers.
✅️ such a good interview
Thank you dr Ramani and Kimberly.you both helped me a lot
I am so so sorry that this happened Kimberly.
I had the exact same experience with telling mom and then going to a “therapist”
I put that in quotes because that shut me up basically
What a moving video ❤ thank you
Her family have treated her so cruelly, that's so bad! Her younger sister saying that she would ruin things with her book. I felt for her so bad with that 😯
Sad what happen to her. But she is a brave surviver. She will give a lot of strength to other survivers.
I’ve been living low contact not realizing that was a thing. Each new event meant less contact. 3 weeks is the longest I’ve gone before checking on her. She has no idea that I’m journaling and remembering and putting all the dots together.
First of all You appear to be age 21 😊I am so thankful that you overcame all the obstacles and yes you are your ancestors greatest inspiration! Your daughter has an Amazing Mom full of grace, beauty and strength ❤❤❤❤ 50:53
Kimberly mentions her husband couldn't understand why she speaks to her family. I had the opposite, massively invalidating experience. My first longterm boyfriend continued exchanging pleasantries with the rapist and my ex husband shamed me for choosing to cut contact with family members who won't even acknowledge the effect that this repeated trauma has on my life. I have zero emotional support from any of my family and the isolation and pain I feel is unfathomable. My father to this day claims the rapist is not to blame because he was too young but he is 8 years older than me and did this to me behind closed doors and threatened me not to tell anyone. He knew exactly that what he was doing was evil and sick.
I would of been so relieved when the grandfather was gone🙏🙏🙏