Is it Normal to be Angry in Grief? Grief Discussion

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  • Опубликовано: 8 июн 2024
  • P.O. Box
    Jenny Appleford or Kyle Appleford
    7211 Haven Ave, Unit E-407
    Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91701
    Kyle’s Channel:
    / @kyleapple9702
    INSTAGRAM: jenny_appleford
    INSTAGRAM: kyoooooapple
    FACEBOOK: Our Brave Jenny
    For business inquiries: veganapplefords@gmail.com or kyleapple66@gmail.com
    DIAGNOSIS:
    March 19th, 2021 Stage IIIA Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (Non-Smoking)
    February 2022 Stage IV Non Small Cell Lung Cancer (spreading to Brain, and other parts of lung and lymph nodes)
    Gene Mutation EGFR with Exon 20 Insertion
    TREATMENTS: Received or currently Receiving
    2021: 8 Rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin and Paclitaxel) with 30 concurrent radiation treatments to chest and lung
    Failed Immunotherapy directly after Chemo and Radiation (Durvalumab, 1 round)
    2022: Chemotherapy
    10 rounds of Chemotherapy (Carboplatin, Alimta, and Avastin)
    6 with Carboplatin, 4 without
    Targeted Brain Radiation (Completed)
    Most Recent Treatment plan, prior to passing:
    Whole Brain and Spine Proton Therapy (Radiation) 13 sessions
    Clinical Trial Medication NOLA
    The purpose of my channel is to document my cancer journey to look back on, and/or help anyone else going through anything similar. It is also to potentially help loved ones supporting those who are in this fight as well. This is also an easy way to update a lot of people at once. My main goal is to have footage of this journey for my husband and children to look back on. I originally created this channel as a sort of video diary for my
    family.
    Thank you so much for following along on this journey. Your love and support help me so much.

Комментарии • 973

  • @cynthiajones9540
    @cynthiajones9540 Месяц назад +250

    Grief has 5 stages.....denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I am 9 years into my loss almost (my husband had cancer too) and I can tell you that I have flipped through ALL the stages all the time. There is no rhyme or reason for it. Hugs to you Kyle!

    • @megdevries5616
      @megdevries5616 Месяц назад +22

      exactly one or all of the stages can hit you out of the blue no matter how long time has passed

    • @Kristen10-22
      @Kristen10-22 Месяц назад +12

      I am so sorry for the tragic loss of your husband.
      Grief comes in all different stages for me… waves of different emotions within minutes at times.
      God bless

    • @maurahickey6457
      @maurahickey6457 Месяц назад +17

      So sorry my fiancee passed away nearly 4 years in may 😢 and my niece through suicide. My partner he was only 33 and niece 16. Being on my own since by choice,for me it still feels like yesterday. I😢 miss him more and more and when l talk about him and think,why me why you or Kyle. It's very painful 😖😣 journey, unfortunately it will happen to us all til we meet our love 💕 one again 😢❤😊❤😊❤😊

    • @JC-tp5lz
      @JC-tp5lz Месяц назад +29

      I have lost many people during my 78 years on earth. If there's one thing I've learned, is that the stages of grief don't necessarily come in a predetermined "order". Th stages are really random, and "hit and miss". No fixed order.

    • @Kristen10-22
      @Kristen10-22 Месяц назад +1

      @@JC-tp5lz 💕

  • @DanicaSuklevski
    @DanicaSuklevski Месяц назад +17

    I am angry too I didn’t lose any body resent but I was diagnosed last April 2023 of rectal cancer stage 3 I said to my self why this happened to me some days I cry. And this January of 2024 I had my surgery and it went well. I thank my health care doctors.

  • @User79344
    @User79344 Месяц назад +136

    I can’t imagine anger not being part of grief…it’s a stage.

  • @krismills4393
    @krismills4393 Месяц назад +13

    Rick Warren always says don' let your pain go to waste. Use it to help someone else. You are doing it now.

  • @XrazorstylistXOXO
    @XrazorstylistXOXO Месяц назад +31

    My husband crossed over last June from Young Alzheimer’s. This month the grief stopped overnight. ❤This is what I had to accept. He’s not coming back. He was suffering. He’s happy in heaven. - A Miracle happened!!!
    I had a visitation he was standing beside the bed when I woke up at 3am. I heard laughing and he was very happy and looked younger and said he was happy and to move on with my life. I said I loved him and he smiled then said move on its fine. Then he pointed up. He then disappeared. Got sent him back for a minute to get me over my grief. The grief disappeared. 😊❤

  • @cheylingarber5886
    @cheylingarber5886 Месяц назад +61

    I lost 2 children to cancer, anger is definitely part of the process. However I saw a comment that said bargaining is part of the process, I did not find bargaining in my process of grief. I did my bargaining before I lost them, I bargained with God to please don’t take them, I will give or do anything but please don’t take them, that is when I did my bargaining. Kyle you will be going through this for years. It gets more bearable as time goes, I won’t say it gets better, just bearable. You NEVER leave grief behind, but you do learn to live with it and you take it with you as your life goes on.❤❤ The only therapist I was willing to talk to was a grief therapist that had experienced the loss of a child. Though other therapist possibly could have helped me, they cannot comprehend the heartbreak of losing a child and in my case I lost 2 children. I did not want to talk to anyone if they had not experienced the loss of a child, if they want to talk to me and they had lost a child, then they had my attention. I still cry❤today April 22 2001 I lost my son, April 6 2021 I lost my daughter, yes I still cry❤❤

    • @LindaK301
      @LindaK301 Месяц назад +7

      I'm so sorry, my son passed in 2006

    • @monanwright
      @monanwright Месяц назад +7

      I was the same. You can't know the agony of losing a child unless you have been there. It was a big black hole for a few years. I still have a hard time every year when her birthday and Christmas come. She died on Dec 16, 2001, on her birthday. And I crash every year. Some years are worse than others, and the pain is not as sharp. I am so sorry for your loss. I can not imagine losing 2. My heart breaks for you. Kyle is so strong and doing an amazing job with his 2 beautiful children. My heart goes out to him. Much love.

    • @dianevioletta1408
      @dianevioletta1408 Месяц назад +7

      I can’t even imagine. I am so sorry for your losses. Every parents nightmare.

    • @CharmSchool_Reject
      @CharmSchool_Reject Месяц назад +3

      That was the grief of them being sick and the possibility of them being taken I'm so sorry that they're gone

    • @libranpoet
      @libranpoet Месяц назад +5

      I am so incredibly sorry for that tremendous loss. Thank you for sharing your story and advice for Kyle and others going through this. Bless you.

  • @RF1972.
    @RF1972. Месяц назад +112

    When I lost my son, I didn't feel any sign of anger. It'll be 2 years this October, but just recently I thought to myself things like Why did you leave me? It hurt so much. I wanted to see you grow and flourish. I thought that for a couple of days, but then after that I prayed. I really did with my whole heart and ask God to comfort me. He says he will comfort those who mourn and he did..

    • @favorablemortal
      @favorablemortal Месяц назад +13

      I'm so sorry ❤my condolences 🙏🏽

    • @southerngirl1408
      @southerngirl1408 Месяц назад +10

      I’m so very sorry. Yes, God does help us if we ask. Sending prayers 🙏🙏

    • @RF1972.
      @RF1972. Месяц назад +2

      @@southerngirl1408 💖

    • @donnacain9692
      @donnacain9692 Месяц назад +2

      🙏💐

    • @RF1972.
      @RF1972. Месяц назад +2

      @@donnacain9692 💖

  • @judybw706
    @judybw706 Месяц назад +13

    I just want to chime in that some of us “lost” our other parent to an unwanted divorce. Unfortunately, most people have no empathy for that situation and don’t think any help is needed. However, it is almost exactly like the other parent died and you now must do everything on your own. The stages of grief apply to the death of a relationship, too.

    • @rebeccabender2753
      @rebeccabender2753 Месяц назад +1

      I'm going through the same thing. I feel like I'm dying everyday. The grief is so real. I literally have to take my day minute by minute. I just keep praying and praying for this pain to end.

  • @kiwiang983
    @kiwiang983 Месяц назад +69

    Grief is so normal.
    About 4 months after my dad died suddenly and the shock wore off, I actually felt angry at him for dying

    • @terrinew9474
      @terrinew9474 Месяц назад +5

      I did the same when my mom passed away @kiwiang my sister and I both did. It was always just the three of us we were super close.

    • @Melissa-hu1qz
      @Melissa-hu1qz Месяц назад +3

      This was the same for me. My father passed and I'll always be angry that my CPR didn't work. I didn't really know it besides watching TV...but I feel like I failed.

    • @ilb735
      @ilb735 Месяц назад +4

      ​@@Melissa-hu1qzyou tried, that's not a fail. Even someone with decades of daily experience at resuscitation cant save everyone. Sadly, it was his time. 💞💝💞

    • @ourcorrectopinions6824
      @ourcorrectopinions6824 Месяц назад +4

      This is very normal. I can empathise. Rest in peace to your Pa.

    • @kiwiang983
      @kiwiang983 Месяц назад +4

      @@ourcorrectopinions6824 that’s very kind of you. Thank you

  • @didisalyers4460
    @didisalyers4460 Месяц назад +14

    I believe that you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t experience some anger. My heart goes out to you.

  • @sheliajames4566
    @sheliajames4566 Месяц назад +18

    Just remember
    God loaned Jenny to you for a while.
    She never was yours completely.
    She left you a gift,which is a part of you and her!!
    2 beautiful children to make you strong and keep meekness to you!!
    I'm learning this
    Sam 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️

  • @juliekelderman4041
    @juliekelderman4041 Месяц назад +68

    I just found out 4/18/24 that I have colon cancer, seeing the surgeon tomorrow and having CT scan. I really don't know how to feel. I know my life is in God's hands and that He is in control of it all. Guess it is all the uncertainty and my mind spinning a million miles an hour that is getting to me. Loved watching you and Jenny, she taught me to have hope and grace.

    • @carolp.7471
      @carolp.7471 Месяц назад +8

      You are in my prayers!

    • @naomijones8564
      @naomijones8564 Месяц назад +10

      I'm so sorry for your diagnosis, I don't have any words or advice just to know I'm thinking of you and sending a hug xx

    • @bonnierabbit1413
      @bonnierabbit1413 Месяц назад +6

      I'm praying for you in jesus holy mighty name I too have been going through something.Not even the doctors anywhere Wouldn't even tell me what's going on with me. All they keep saying you're fine. You're fine. And I know that it's all lies. I'm scared. Yet know jesus is with me Even if I do have nightmares. In pain while I'm asleep or Or awake. And I think about my family and my girlfriend. Who I want marry And I pray that in Jesus named that we do With raising children. I won't stop praying for you. I pray whatever this sickness is That the Lord Jesus will not allow it to take you. My friend never. Because family is a gift And I know that's what the Lord gave us A good and powerful blessing that the lord gave us hope and faith love you in jesus name amen

    • @Valerie-xn9kg
      @Valerie-xn9kg Месяц назад +5

      I'm so sorry, I will pray for you 🙏

    • @onemuckypup9823
      @onemuckypup9823 Месяц назад +6

      Sending you lots of love and positivity! Love from Australia xxx

  • @deniporter3321
    @deniporter3321 Месяц назад +15

    YES! Anger is a normal stage in grief. Anger is the result of, hurt, fear and /or frustration.

  • @kellywright3698
    @kellywright3698 Месяц назад +18

    Hi Kyle, I’m 58 yrs old and I grieve every single day. My father died when I was 10 yrs old my 3 sisters were 7, 5, and 3 . I still grieve for him every day . My mother died 3 years ago and my sister just passed in February my whole family is almost gone and we’re here on this earth all by ourselves , why ? What was the point of living for life to just be taken away ? I’ll just keep breathing and living u til I can be with them again 😢

    • @pattykochenower4222
      @pattykochenower4222 Месяц назад +2

      I’m in the same boat as you , hugs and prayers ❤️

    • @Holly_77
      @Holly_77 Месяц назад +1

      I feel the same way. Hugs to you, friend. ❤

  • @shillo3
    @shillo3 Месяц назад +5

    Hi Kyle I have been Following yours and Jenn channel for a year or so!!
    Thinking how can you cope with this.
    I’m in the same boat, my husband has now been diagnosed with brain cancer, it is a very so real place to be in.

  • @tinaleakey2686
    @tinaleakey2686 Месяц назад +6

    It’s been a year and a half since I lost the love of my life to colon cancer. I can relate to everything you have said. Sending my thoughts and prayers to you and your kids as you continue on your journey to your new normal.

  • @willtemsmom2538
    @willtemsmom2538 Месяц назад +7

    When Jenny passed I felt sadness for all of you . Switched quickly to anger .

  • @vickieyoung7122
    @vickieyoung7122 Месяц назад +8

    My husband recently died...my stages have been sad, lonely, and scared....no anger and I dont understand the bargaining aspect...bargain how ?.. its not like a medical procedure will bring him back...after 37 years with a person, I imagine I will always be somewhat lonely and my life will never be the same....doesnt mean I wont have happy moments, but not as happy as they could have been.

  • @MissBe737
    @MissBe737 Месяц назад +2

    Great job explaining the grief journey. I'm mad I haven't been able to cry more for my daughter who passed 12-24-21.

  • @A---ti3zz
    @A---ti3zz Месяц назад +7

    Two years in July and I just keep going back and forth between anger and immense sadness. Grief is very lonely because everyone seems to give you half a second to grieve and then they expect you to just move on.

  • @Madisons_Mom
    @Madisons_Mom Месяц назад +38

    I lost my parents a month apart in 2015. unexpectedly and I have no siblings. I can definitely tell you I have been angry! My step dad died this past August and that ramped up my anger. I decided to start counseling. You inspired me to reach out to a counselor. Thank you!

    • @favorablemortal
      @favorablemortal Месяц назад +5

      My condolences to you and I wish you all the best and lots of love from counseling. ❤

    • @kathypickens3309
      @kathypickens3309 Месяц назад +2

      I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you. I lost my parents 6 months apart due to health issues almost 20 yrs ago. I fell into a deep depression for 2 years. You will go through many emotions. And you will never forget them .they will always be a part of you. It eventually gets better.🙏

    • @jenniferthompson6280
      @jenniferthompson6280 Месяц назад +1

      so sorry

  • @wejoin
    @wejoin Месяц назад +5

    “…step out and take a minute” is such a great tool to get back to calm. It’s wonderful the kids are learning this too. You’re a great dad, Kyle !! I found it SO tough being a parent when I just wanted some alone time to grieve, to cry, to ‘process’ the loss.

  • @Darlene3178
    @Darlene3178 Месяц назад +3

    I lost my husband 4 years ago (also to cancer) and I continue to go through those stages of grief. I got married at the end of February of this year (my husband is also a widow) and I continue to go through grief stages. Thankfully my new husband gives me the space and support to grieve. I make it a point to not pitch a tent in any stage for long but to press on. My faith plays a huge roll in this!

  • @jenniferlopez3554
    @jenniferlopez3554 Месяц назад +4

    Yes , Sir . It is normal to feel anger when someone you love is gone 😢. There are several stages and anger is one of those actually. I also felt anger when I lost my man in 2019 . Now I feel alone but relieved because his last days were very hard to him . He died from pneumonia . Now I know he rests in peace . Forever

  • @user-mm3mc9oj4z
    @user-mm3mc9oj4z Месяц назад +4

    Grief is a stage in the process of loss. The stages of loss varies in order & times. I'm so proud of you and your precious babies ❣️🙏🏻🧸🐞🌻

  • @karenchiusano8370
    @karenchiusano8370 Месяц назад +16

    Grief is so hard I know your pain I’m going thru it my husband I lost him last august I still feel grief and I’m so angry
    I’m angry at the doctors and the hospital who let him die
    He should not of died his condition was fixable and he was savable but they just met him die
    I cry still not all the time but still I cry and I think of him so much everyday and I’m still angry
    I begged god I prayed and prayed and prayed to god not to take him but he still died
    So I’m angry I miss my husband so much I just want him back I just want to be with him again
    So sorry for your loss ❤

    • @lejla8085
      @lejla8085 9 дней назад

      So sorry for your loss🙏

    • @lejla8085
      @lejla8085 9 дней назад

      So sorry for your loss🙏

    • @lejla8085
      @lejla8085 9 дней назад

      So sorry for your loss🙏

    • @lejla8085
      @lejla8085 9 дней назад

      So sorry for your loss🙏

  • @novoap100
    @novoap100 Месяц назад +5

    Never did I imagine being so comforted by your grieving process. When you first lost Jenny i was sure of 2 things: 1. Your beautiful babies being the perfect distraction to keep you going and keep you from slipping too far to the dark side, they are such a blessing. and 2. Sitting in my own grief for years now, I was really worried for you. Those babies losing their momma at such a tender age is so unfair and you, the love of your life and life partner. I thought for sure that'd be the last we'd hear from your family, or at least for awhile. Yet here you are sharing your grief journey, already helping so many others as you continue to find your way. You are a great example of strength. And keep going! It is inspiring to watch you progress. My question is did you develop any new anxieties/fears since Jenny's departure? Many blessings to you and the kids.

  • @TracyGilmeister
    @TracyGilmeister Месяц назад +5

    Kyle not only do you work through your stages of loss and grieving and the hard times, you are helping many in similar situations not feel so alone. They feel heard and understood. I think how you deal with hard times, and your communication skills, both are really making a positive difference in your children's lives to learn how to deal with loss, grieving, and just tough situations in life. Communication is so essential to everyone's well-being. Blessings to you, great job!

  • @joyceharvey410
    @joyceharvey410 Месяц назад +6

    You are an encouragement. Loss my husband in 2022, my brother in 2023 and my Mom in 2024. And so many other family members in previous years. Grief is soooooo hard. God bless you and we will keep going!

  • @gaylechamberlain8473
    @gaylechamberlain8473 Месяц назад +5

    On April 30 my husband will have been in heaven 6 months this post is my emtions exactly I have watched your posts since the beginning Jenny was so amazing and will always be with you Ellis and?Winnie in your precious memories you are a blessing in my life when I listen to you it gives me hope and reminds me I am not going off the deep end thank you for your input

  • @annegleason8442
    @annegleason8442 Месяц назад +10

    My best friend died on Easter Sunday!!! My best friend has been a great support for me!!!

    • @LeanneRaynor
      @LeanneRaynor Месяц назад +3

      I'm so sorry for the loss of your best friend.

    • @purpleviolet2058
      @purpleviolet2058 Месяц назад +2

      Sorry for the loss of your best friend.

    • @kimh207
      @kimh207 Месяц назад +2

      Wishing you peace and strength during this difficult time.

  • @goshgloria
    @goshgloria Месяц назад +3

    Blessing to you and your family Kyle. I lost my youngest brother at 42 this year. Suddenly from a stoke that he never recovered from. He has very young kids, and I am so angry that this happened to him. He came home from work, sat down to dinner and blacked out and never came back from ICU. We were with him while he took his last breaths. I just don't understand why this happened. And anger does get the best of me most days that this happened to his kids that they will never have their father in this world with them. The youngest is 5.

  • @janicehartley8525
    @janicehartley8525 Месяц назад +3

    I know when I lost my mum, it took me years to finally find peace. Grief is so hard I would cry at the drop of a hat. God bless you Kyle and your beautiful family. Love you guys ❤

  • @marymartin849
    @marymartin849 Месяц назад +5

    That is absolutely a stage of grief! Absolutely normal!

  • @justinedevoe7166
    @justinedevoe7166 Месяц назад +9

    Excellent ! “ Step Away “
    AND Ask for help! 🙏🏼✝️🥰👍🏼♥️
    Thank you!

  • @Monks2018
    @Monks2018 Месяц назад +9

    Excellent video KYLE… well done! I lost a very precious cat to cancer and it changed me. She WANTED to live so badly. She was 13. It hurt me deeply. After her loss, walking down the pet food aisle out of habit was a kick to the stomach, reliving her being unwell and deteriorating and her being in fear, and passing the area in our home where she fought so hard to stay. I fought my way out of that deep hurt/anger. My love for her and her love for me, it made me stronger in life. When I get to Heaven I get to hold her again. ❤ In the meantime, her love and memories are what keeps me pushing forward. Love is everything we need! 🙏🏼

    • @sherylsmith2812
      @sherylsmith2812 Месяц назад

      I know how you feel. My cat had cancer and he went through chemo. It cost 6,000 for 6 more months with him. I miss him everyday. I too went into the pet srore and saw the same food my boy loved.

    • @pattis6543
      @pattis6543 Месяц назад

      I am so glad that you posted this because love for an animal, it's not properly, it's a member of your family and when they leave they leave a big hole in your heart. I understand, I don't have a big family to begin with and when I lost my cats, it was devastating. Thank you for texting this

  • @sandrarussell8551
    @sandrarussell8551 Месяц назад +32

    Yes...Anger is a step in the grief process. My child died 39 yrs ago. And am I angry still...yes...but as time goes on Kyle it gets manageable. It takes years....

  • @debrahalbert6578
    @debrahalbert6578 Месяц назад +4

    Kyle, starting a pod cast would be so great you could help so many people grieving . You are so inspiring to watch & listen to. I can't wait for that day to happen. It will help you even more. Much Love to you, Ellis & winnie❤❤❤

  • @michellehollensteiner4643
    @michellehollensteiner4643 Месяц назад +18

    I get angry at dementia. My mom passed away 2 years ago from dementia. I miss her so much.

    • @rikkemeek1506
      @rikkemeek1506 Месяц назад +3

      I lost my mom to dementia in january. It's a horrible decease because you don't just loose them one time but multible times, before they actually pass away.

    • @michellehollensteiner4643
      @michellehollensteiner4643 Месяц назад

      @@rikkemeek1506 You are so right. I'm so sorry. I know how you feel

  • @SuperCaliforniaBarbi
    @SuperCaliforniaBarbi Месяц назад +9

    When my father was diagnosed I prayed. When he died I was so angry at God I didn't pray for a year. I just raised my hand and said talk to the palm. It's cancer I'm angry at now with it stealing a friend of 52 years. Im so angry at cancer I hate cancer and wish it back to hell.

  • @rikkemeek1506
    @rikkemeek1506 Месяц назад +3

    Grief carves a place in the heart and it sits there forever. When Focused it can be a powerful motivator. Sadness becomes resolve and pain becomes action.

  • @justinedevoe7166
    @justinedevoe7166 Месяц назад +14

    My daughter’s husband committed suicide. 1996. Age 24. My daughter decided to turn her anger on me.
    Currently, I have not seen nor spoke with her for 15 years.
    It’s ok to get angry! Just don’t misdirect that anger. 🙏🏼✝️🕊️♥️

    • @pattykochenower4222
      @pattykochenower4222 Месяц назад +2

      So true, I’m so sorry that this happened. I hope she will come around soon, life is too short . I’d do anything to have my mother back for one more day …. Hugs and prayers ❤️🤗🙏

    • @justinedevoe7166
      @justinedevoe7166 Месяц назад +1

      @@pattykochenower4222 thank you… 🙏🏼♥️

  • @kimwalker3566
    @kimwalker3566 Месяц назад +3

    To watch the healing and grieving journey in Kyle has been so amazing. As painful as it's been, it truly shows that there's hope. Thank you so much for sharing this. Kyle, Jenny and their beautiful kids are so loved and cared about by people they've never even met. ❤

  • @dianebohn8423
    @dianebohn8423 Месяц назад +3

    You kyle, i had a break down in April, i lost my daughter on 16 of April 2009, i told myself i was not going to be sad, guess what that dis not work.i croed for the whole day i have not felt this way many times i did not want to do anything for that whole day i was angry and i knew i did not want to ve around anyone..i listen to her favorite music, a time when she made me laugh and cried at the same time, the next day I was better, my family is aware of this and so when they see me like this they give me space and let me regroup, losing a child is different than a spouse it's a different type of pain but it is all grief

  • @tamiewert808
    @tamiewert808 Месяц назад +69

    Elizabeth Kubler Ross grief theory states that anger is the second stage of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance)

    • @katherynbrown6619
      @katherynbrown6619 Месяц назад +14

      Stages DO NOT come in any order! They come at random .

    • @marjorienesivar5894
      @marjorienesivar5894 Месяц назад +8

      As a believer of Jesus Christ, I was happy to hear of your recent baptism, and I would like encourage you to find joy in him. Our Lord is the great Healer. It is true that anger will raise it nasty head but you can overcome it with prayer, reading of his word, and yes, the company of supporting friend. We can't forget, but time makes it easier.

    • @Tami_L96
      @Tami_L96 Месяц назад +1

      Wrong. It's the THIRD stage.
      Shock.
      Denial.
      Anger.
      Bargaining.
      Depression.
      Testing.
      Acceptance.

    • @michellefrench6617
      @michellefrench6617 Месяц назад +9

      Ross discovered these stages from studying the grief process of people who are dying. The stages were never meant for grieving a loved one. Even so, she states the stages are not a hard and fast rule. Real grief is messy. The important thing is to go through it whatever you feel.

    • @lee383C
      @lee383C Месяц назад +3

      @@katherynbrown6619💯💯
      I’m 2 years in massive grief after 2 deaths of parents I cared for & im still in Anger & depression & I doubt I’ll ever hit full acceptance but that’s me, and as you said they come differently for everyone.. no 2 people grieve the same..

  • @user-ir9bn6xw5s
    @user-ir9bn6xw5s Месяц назад +4

    I been so angry for about 5 years. Cancer has taken my father, Brother, and sister. And so many friends. Had colon cancer my self and been cancer free 4 years now but you.think I would be happy about it. But I'm won't let my self .

  • @DianeHardesty-rk3nm
    @DianeHardesty-rk3nm Месяц назад +6

    You articulate the stages of grief so well. I watch all your videos, Kyle, You are an amazing human being.

  • @kathywirtz6808
    @kathywirtz6808 Месяц назад +3

    I was angry at my husband for leaving me. ( one month today). Then of course I felt guilty because he was suffering at the end and I couldn't bare to see that. I've already had about every feeling possible in just this month. I pray this gets easier.

  • @gigiknowsbest7391
    @gigiknowsbest7391 Месяц назад +3

    I would love to hear from Jenny’s sister in a segment. My experience with losing my brother and nephew. It was devastating and I felt so alone in my grief. This was years back and I still feel like the focus was on my SIL and rightly so, but very little mental help for a sister/aunt. i’ve been to therapy and I don’t feel like a victim at all. I just think we need to reach out to all family and friends and just ask them, “how are you doing?” and follow up by being that person who will let you share how empty it feels dealing with grief because honestly as a sister I just felt my role was to help with childcare. Saying that it reminds me that no one checked in with me and i didn’t even notice that until years later. I would love to say I bet the siblings of Jenny need to know we care. Love you Kyle for your articulate gift of expressing yourself. This channel is very therapeutic.

  • @davinamunday2043
    @davinamunday2043 Месяц назад +3

    My dad suddenly passed away on Tuesday. He had spent four months in hospital after a stroke. I was so happy he was finally home. My brother called and told me. I stepped out my car and just screamed.
    I couldn’t believe my mum had a brain injury and then my dad. I have noticed self blame is something I have done for a long time.

    • @evapetersen-acosta8599
      @evapetersen-acosta8599 Месяц назад

      I'm so sorry for your loss. May your Dad rest in peace. I also screamed at the universe when my little brother died. I've also lost my Dad, Mom and little sister to cancer.

  • @debroahisaacs2452
    @debroahisaacs2452 Месяц назад +4

    Anger is normal...my husband has been gone going on 3 years and I get angry. Still I get mad at him for leaving me. So many different angers. Yes it's normal.😢

  • @mandabonka6284
    @mandabonka6284 Месяц назад +29

    I recently lost my best friend to illness.. Lost my mom and dad as well and I wrote this after my bestie. Grief is a wave... A wave of love lost but not forgotten. It will hit you when you wake up and realize it wasn't a dream. It will hit when you reach out to call/text that person like you normally do every day. It will hit when you hear a song, see a picture. Then it will be raw like it just happened. The reality is that you will grieve forever bc you can never replace the hole in your life. You will never "get over" the love you lost, you will learn to live with it. You will begin to heal but it will always be a part of you. It is OK to have bad days. It is OK to want to be alone and not see people. It is OK to cry, scream and yell. Please reach out to those who lost someone, say that loved ones name, share memories bc they need that. Sometimes a simple how are you doing can brighten a day. Those who are grieving will still go on with life, they will do the daily life tasks but they are struggling within. They will smile with you, work with you, comfort you but deep down they are crying inside. I write this not just for me but for all those who have lost a a part of their soul, a loved one that can never be replaced. Be kind to yourself and to all around you bc you never know what that person is battling to make it through that day.

    • @user-vz4dp3od2g
      @user-vz4dp3od2g Месяц назад +2

      Thank you for this beautiful letter , I should say … I lost my son eight years now but the pain doesn’t go away

    • @mandabonka6284
      @mandabonka6284 Месяц назад

      @@user-vz4dp3od2g I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. You are so right the pain never goes away.

    • @lindsayholden5959
      @lindsayholden5959 Месяц назад

      What a perfectly well said letter. So sorry for everybody who has had a loss that hurts us all so deeply.

  • @lovesmbx20
    @lovesmbx20 Месяц назад +6

    Thank you Kyle… I really appreciate all your help & tips … it means a lot ❤

  • @goldenswan000
    @goldenswan000 Месяц назад +4

    l lost my grandson a year ago lm still grieving lm mad because he came to my home to spend the night he come late l was in my room he would always tell me good night love you ma he died in my bathroom late that night. my heart hurts it’s hard to explain it he left a daughter lm helping raise. God bless you ❤🙏

  • @bravoaddictAnn
    @bravoaddictAnn Месяц назад +28

    YES. It is very normal, and I'm so very sorry you lost Jenny. My heart goes out to you and your entire family.

  • @bmackillop9937
    @bmackillop9937 Месяц назад +4

    You’ve learned so much already in these few months Kyle.All the emotions are normal for someone in grief.Wish you peace and love

  • @thepratherlife
    @thepratherlife Месяц назад +3

    you're amazing, Kyle. You should be a grief counsellor. Perfectly said.

  • @robinbroussard1155
    @robinbroussard1155 Месяц назад +21

    I'm a retired cna worked with hospice patients anger is very much the grieving process it takes awhile to get past but it does leave. Today is the 30th anniversary of my husband's death be strong we love you guys ❤😊

  • @_kathrynprice
    @_kathrynprice Месяц назад +5

    When I went through this, my therapist said it's angry at the circumstances and I really related to that. Each time I've been through grief I have felt anger at different times. It is completely normal.

  • @joandehnert1115
    @joandehnert1115 Месяц назад +13

    My mother passed in January of 2023. I feel like most of last year I spent in a giant fog, all the firsts without her, all the things that will never be the same again. My mother was diagnosed with dementia several months prior to her passing, I grieved and was really angry for that diagnosis. I still feel the lose of small things, the sound of her voice, the way she loved Christmas. It’s just not the same and never will be.

    • @Sam4G0d
      @Sam4G0d Месяц назад +3

      Sending love

    • @amyhenningsgard8618
      @amyhenningsgard8618 Месяц назад +1

      🌹🙏🏻

    • @user-gj1ym6dq3b
      @user-gj1ym6dq3b Месяц назад +1

      I relate.... .

    • @rikkemeek1506
      @rikkemeek1506 Месяц назад +1

      I lost my mom to dementia aswell. It's a horrible desease because you don't just loose them one time, but multipal times.

  • @heatherscarlett4459
    @heatherscarlett4459 Месяц назад +21

    Absolutely normal, one of the stages of grief. I am not angry at my son for passing, I’m mad at all the moms who still have their family intact. Totally irrational but that is grief isn’t it?!

    • @cheylingarber5886
      @cheylingarber5886 Месяц назад +10

      I absolutely agree with you, I lost 2 children and I often feel anger because my family will never be intact again. I watch my married friends going on family vacations and my heart breaks because I will never have that again. Sometimes we get invited along, but we never go simply because I don’t want to witness their happiness because I can never experience that again. Selfish? Maybe, I want to be happy for them, and I can fake a smile but inside it’s tearing me apart….I KNOW YOUR PAIN 😢

    • @shamimmukadam9859
      @shamimmukadam9859 Месяц назад +1

      That was an amazing vlog Kyle. Full of honesty and the raw feelings a person goes through with grief. I have seen alot of my family members going through the grief process. There is alot of anger, also not accepting the fact that their loved one had to go so soon from their life. It all takes alot of time to overcome this grief. And we all going to go through it one day, sadly. God bless you Kyle for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us . You doing great so far. ❤

  • @DaisyJo82
    @DaisyJo82 Месяц назад +5

    Anger is definitely a part of grief. The night I found out my mom died I hit the anger quickly. I couldn’t believe she left for vacation just to die. I have waves of it from time to time but not real often anymore ❤

  • @lisacarlson7267
    @lisacarlson7267 Месяц назад +2

    It is so frustrating because you know you can’t change the circumstances or situation. You just have to keep going.

  • @evelyn6986
    @evelyn6986 Месяц назад +7

    I've been angry since I lost my 27-year-old son, I've learned it is okay to be angry, hurt, and lost, and they are all part of grief, in my opinion.

    • @TracyGilmeister
      @TracyGilmeister Месяц назад +1

      Sorry for the loss of your son, prayers going out to you.

  • @berenadelacruz628
    @berenadelacruz628 Месяц назад +4

    Kyle, I became a widow amost 3 yrs. ago on May 2021 and believe me I am still in a state of uncertainty, I feel so alone and having to do daily life is just so sad to me. I try to keep busy all the time and hand it all to God and pray for strength and patience.

  • @jedison3414
    @jedison3414 Месяц назад +3

    Kyle, the progress you’ve made in your grief journey so far is really amazing. I think it’s because of all the things you’ve done to move yourself through this. Your advice and tips are so valuable- thanks!

  • @user-ko8zf4bs9e
    @user-ko8zf4bs9e Месяц назад +2

    Hi Kyle this is kalpana from Vancouver bc.
    I just finished watching your very valuable video you mention amazing educating many of us with your amazing possitive outlook of reality in life that I admire your true feelings what you are going through. As I mentioned in my last comment to you, my 13 years old grandson had Hodgkin lymphoma had six months of that horrible chemo and we all went through the same horrible time of our life, my older son and daughter in law have five beautiful children including the oldest one to go through.
    He is in remission now. It's horrible to see my son, daughter in law my other grandmother to see them and us all breaking down of fear of this monster cancer.
    My love and prayers always be with you and your family. With all our love. Be strong, take a day at a time. Time heals losses. You will get through this with your strength and time. Jennie new home is above and beyond and in everyone heats. She lives in you and your kids heart that's her new home foreevert. Every heart beat she is in your heart.
    You take care of yourself and those beautiful children. God bless you with all his love and blessings. 🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @judyfoley5824
    @judyfoley5824 Месяц назад +2

    I like the way you are explaining your anger. My husband has FTD a form of dementia. I’m grieving him, he’s slipping away every day. I’m slowly taking over every aspect of our lives including all the things he previously handled. Making future life decisions. We are going to move in anticipation of needing a smaller home as I can’t handle this one anymore. Scaling down is so emotional! All my memories. What can we afford?? Thankfully my faith that the Lord is with me and what is the most important in life has helped. I’m very kind to my husband as I know he can’t help what he’s going through. But every now and then I do get angry at something stupid. I need some help.

  • @jeanetterosado7061
    @jeanetterosado7061 Месяц назад +9

    Its ok to Grief being Angrying ..your Very Hurt just lost your beautiful wife ..its understable ...❤

  • @Ybearl58
    @Ybearl58 Месяц назад +7

    Listening to you helps me understand my grief.

  • @fionapopovic4523
    @fionapopovic4523 Месяц назад +2

    Hi Kyle, I don’t normally comment, as your grief and pain, puts me back to what I have gone through, for the last 27 years. Grief is a monster. It never leaves us. Thank you , for all you do. Much love, peace and healing, for you and your beautiful children ♥️🙏💥💐💐💐💐

  • @dedi9322
    @dedi9322 Месяц назад +5

    I am in so much pain with my grief, I lost my husband last month at the age of 59, shock, he went to work and passed away from a heart attack. I never got the chance to say goodbye. I cannot seem to fathom this extreme loss.😢😢

  • @stacylein2448
    @stacylein2448 Месяц назад +15

    Anger is definitely part of the grieving process.I lost a pregnancy 15 years ago and I'm still angry about it.I wanted that baby so bad life is hard

    • @mommendez94
      @mommendez94 Месяц назад

      It's almost like you are the one that is getting punished

  • @larie71
    @larie71 Месяц назад +12

    Love you Kyle..Jenny was the best. You’ve got this, and we are all rooting for you!

  • @rickygouda2110
    @rickygouda2110 Месяц назад +2

    I recognize all the things you mentioned. I am widow this year for 20 years. My help came from the Lord and He sent help everytime I didn't knew how to go on. After time went by time helped. Pain of the loss is always there but got more bearable. God bless you Kyle. Yes there are great memories and life is worth living despite the loss. ❤

  • @susanbaker46
    @susanbaker46 Месяц назад +22

    Kyle, I've really been impressed with your transition from the initial loss to teaching this community about grief. I miss seeing Jenny. Your most recent posts have been very helpful to me. Thank you.

  • @janetatkinson9023
    @janetatkinson9023 Месяц назад +8

    My Husband passed a year and one month on April 25 still trying to cope. Kyle hope you, Ellis and Winnie can draw strength from each other and I wish you all happiness.

    • @TracyGilmeister
      @TracyGilmeister Месяц назад +1

      Sorry for your loss, prayers going out to you.

    • @janetatkinson9023
      @janetatkinson9023 Месяц назад

      @@TracyGilmeister Thank you for taking your time to pray for me.

    • @kimh207
      @kimh207 Месяц назад

      Tracy, sending you strength today and peace in all the days ahead ❣️

  • @sylviaford3828
    @sylviaford3828 Месяц назад +2

    You are so grounded and real! You, Jenny, the kids, pups and your support network are a dynamic unit.

  • @evaklein-do5ut
    @evaklein-do5ut Месяц назад +2

    Don't forget how bad the time was and how much stress you had that is now coming out. That's normal. Don't fight it. It will get better

  • @melindaharrington7588
    @melindaharrington7588 Месяц назад +5

    Hi Kyle 🙂 👋 Thank you for this talk. I am feeling very frustrated, irritable, and angry. But not from losing someone close to me. But for grieving my previous life. I am loaded up with unbearable and intolerable, severe chronic / acute pain. It is under managed currently. I am pushing for a Hospital or Pain Management Unit admission. I am deteriorating, but don't have the physical and mental strength to keep pushing for help anymore. But I need, the help right now. If there are any, christians reading this. Can you please pray, that I get the help I so desperately need asap. Battling with suicidal thoughts, because I am pleading for help and no one is acting quick enough. Just because someone hasn't made a suicide attempt before, doesn't mean that they are never going to attempt it. If I had done something like that and survived, I would have gotten help for my pain quicker probably. Any prayer would be appreciated, and I would be so very grateful. I am doing this, all by myself. And I live by myself. Thank you again for this video. It has helped me tonight. Just mine is, a different kind of grief. ❤

    • @Holly_77
      @Holly_77 Месяц назад +1

      Praying for you. 🙏❤️

    • @melindaharrington7588
      @melindaharrington7588 Месяц назад +1

      @Holly_77 Thank you, Holly 😘 👋 Receiving your message tonight, felt like God, wanted to use his people to remind me that he is still there. Even during the times, when I don't feel like he is. Very bad pain throughout today. I was very distressed, earlier. Maybe, I needed to hear from someone, as compassionate and kind as you likely are. Thank you for your Prayer. It is appreciated, and I am very grateful to receive it 🥰🥰🥰
      From ~ Australia 🇦🇺

    • @Holly_77
      @Holly_77 Месяц назад

      @@melindaharrington7588 You have a friend in me. I lost my mom, who was basically my only family, one year ago from cancer. I have been so lonely, and at times feel like I’m close to rock bottom. The future scares me. But, I try my best, and make the decision each day to trust in God, and have faith that everything will work out because He wants only good things for me. God bless you today and always. 🙏❤️

  • @ThewaughCW
    @ThewaughCW Месяц назад +3

    I lost my daddy to cancer almost 8 years ago and I have a lot of anger. I didn’t think I would be this angry still 8 years after he passed away.

  • @roux2689
    @roux2689 Месяц назад +1

    Totally normal to be angry. I lost my amazing, surgeon, father due to a plane crash when I was 5. A book that my mom wrote for me and my two brothers to this day means the world to us. We were 4 5 and 7. We went thru all emotions. My mom, like u, was so empathetic with that tragedy. Kept her head up. Put on a happy face for us kids & we were all truly sad and hurting for our dad, but turned out strong, happy kids because we had a strong mom like u are a strong, funny, happy dad. 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 As was my
    Mom. But the fact that she sat us down for an interview to ask us about our favorite memories about daddy and she made a book out of it- is so important. When I read her small book/ with daddy’s photo- it makes me remember everything we said about him that we would not have remembered.

  • @deirdrecreel4746
    @deirdrecreel4746 Месяц назад +4

    You did great!! My husband has Lung Cancer stage 3. We found out May of 2022. Going on 2 yrs. Now
    He's doing ok. Every day is different. Ive been watching yall for a while. I cryed when Jenny died. I pray God gives yall strength. Please keep sharing. There is so many of of going through our journey now. We need to know what you went through and dealing with now. And maybe share how your children are doing. I have two little girls 9 and 7. Im worried for them not to have a daddy. Im 59 my husband is 62. We adoped the girls when the youngest was newborn and oldest was 2.
    Anyway thank you. God bless u

    • @TracyGilmeister
      @TracyGilmeister Месяц назад +2

      Hang in there, prayers going out to all.

    • @deirdrecreel4746
      @deirdrecreel4746 Месяц назад +1

      Thank you. We don't know from day to day what's next. But God does. Ty for prayer.

  • @sherrykelley3354
    @sherrykelley3354 Месяц назад +3

    Anger is definitely part of it. My sister-in-law committed suicide and 3 months later my brother died. He was so miserable after her death. Angry and feeling lost with out her. After his death I had no way to understand how cruel this all was. Sad lost and angry that people would be so upset over trivial things. It takes time, but you do learn to deal with it all. Never forget them, but remember good things and good times you had with that person.
    You have done well in how you are coping without Jenny. She will be there with you always.

  • @kelleyanne2368
    @kelleyanne2368 Месяц назад +5

    Yes, after I lost my husband I Would have anger out bursts at times .

  • @rosesimmons8169
    @rosesimmons8169 Месяц назад +2

    My husband has been gone for 11 years. I’m still angry. He had a reaction to chemo and it took him. It’s for sure a journey with grief. Thinking of you all.

  • @patriciakowerko8201
    @patriciakowerko8201 Месяц назад +3

    The first year is numbness, white knuckling it just to get through each day. Anger is NORMAL!

  • @dianabadillo2646
    @dianabadillo2646 Месяц назад +4

    Kyle, anger is part of the grief process. I miss seeing sweet Jenny in the videos. My prayers are with you daily Kyle & Ellis, Winnie. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @Carter_King85
    @Carter_King85 Месяц назад +1

    My mom passed Last year on October 16, 2023.
    So I can definitely relate to what you’re going through right now.
    It’s gonna hurt forever, but I told myself just like I’m going tell you, you’ll be ok, and you’ll find yourself one day! Just please give yourself the time to heal.
    Stay strong for yourself and your children you guys got each other!
    RIP JENNY 🌻🙏🏽🌻

  • @nataliebrooks6822
    @nataliebrooks6822 Месяц назад +2

    Good talk Kyle. You have all the healthy tools in your toolbelt, and I'm so proud of you. 💙

  • @amberthe86
    @amberthe86 Месяц назад +5

    I lost my sister March 10th 2024 from suicide. And I feel so lost that is my best friend. I'm sad, angry, numb, I cry Almost everyday. Every where I go I see her the memories 😢 but this video helped and the comments just reminds me I'm not alone in this.

    • @evapetersen-acosta8599
      @evapetersen-acosta8599 Месяц назад

      I'm sorry for your loss. May your sister rest in peace.

    • @purpleviolet2058
      @purpleviolet2058 Месяц назад

      So sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family.

    • @amberthe86
      @amberthe86 Месяц назад +1

      Thank you for the prayers 🙏 ❤️

    • @purpleviolet2058
      @purpleviolet2058 Месяц назад

      @@amberthe86 You're very welcome.💜

    • @gordonslaunwhite5953
      @gordonslaunwhite5953 Месяц назад

      I'm sorry for your loss.
      I lost my brother to suicide and I'm just so angry as to why. Why didn't he come to me.
      Why did he suffer alone. So many questions and no answers it just leaves you in a spin.
      This happened in 2019 still asking why
      God be with you as you navigate your way through this 😢😢❤😢😢😢

  • @BabyDee72
    @BabyDee72 Месяц назад +3

    Its natural to feel anger at cancer for taking Jenny away. Grief is just hard all the way around. You and the kids are doing wonderful. One day at a time❤

  • @lynarcher8192
    @lynarcher8192 Месяц назад +1

    I am nearly 2 years into my grief. You have helped me enormously & I have learned so much from you. One of my almost constant emotions is guilt. I felt survivors guilt in the beginning. How could I enjoy things when my Mother has gone. I've now moved away from that, but I feel guilt for not feeling guilty!!! I always dreaded the point when I could go through the day without thinking about her, but that has arrived... and I feel guilty!! Part of me didn't want to stop feeling sad because I didn't want to forget her as part of my everyday life... but here we are. I feel that I am moving away from the raw grief I felt until just recently and its being replaced with the odd grief ambush, but I'm able to laugh and smile at memories now instead of crying. I do distract wherever possible, it is the old fashioned way of dealing with grief. There were rarely any counsellors, you had to work through it, work being the optimum word. It does work. You've been amazing, Kyle. I'm so glad I found you guys. Jenny will always be remembered by so many. And even now she's still doing good through you. Thank you to both of you. X

  • @lalabyelulu4021
    @lalabyelulu4021 Месяц назад +75

    My husband suffered a lot of loss before we met and had anger issues. He told me the only way he got through it was turning to Jesus Christ. That's when he felt true peace, walking with our Lord and Savior. John 14:27 Peace I leave with you , my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid..." and John 16:33!

    • @libranpoet
      @libranpoet Месяц назад +6

      Amen and God's glory.

    • @mickycooper355
      @mickycooper355 Месяц назад +4

      Amen

    • @jenniferthompson6280
      @jenniferthompson6280 Месяц назад

      as long as it isn't maga so called christianity ..but the real word..

    • @Rita-yw2tn
      @Rita-yw2tn Месяц назад +2

      Amen 🙏🏻

    • @lydiamoore142
      @lydiamoore142 Месяц назад +9

      That has been my experience. I couldn’t go through this without Jesus.

  • @louise8752
    @louise8752 Месяц назад +27

    It is 100% angry to be mad in grief. Furious even at cancer and at Jenny for leaving. All normal.

  • @clarerooney4516
    @clarerooney4516 Месяц назад +2

    You are such a good person,, You are open, honest and sharing.
    God is with you. You are truely a good person.

  • @lauracamilleri9511
    @lauracamilleri9511 Месяц назад +1

    Thank you for sharing this. Often when I have feelings of grief and anxiety, it manifests as anger - I've heard others say they also experience this.

  • @kellithiede1924
    @kellithiede1924 Месяц назад +4

    You are such a gracious blessing, Kyle, to those who are going through Cancer and, unfortunately, Loss. God bless you. Jenny is so blessed to have you as her Life Love, Husband, Best Friend and Blessed Father. ❤️☺️🕊️💙🩷

  • @candacepeludat5053
    @candacepeludat5053 Месяц назад +14

    You are being used by God Kyle, such a blessing that you are helping others when you yourself are grieving. Thank you for being transparent & know that we pray and love you.🎉❤

  • @carolchildress6220
    @carolchildress6220 Месяц назад +2

    I’m going on 24 years, and I miss him everyday. But it’s ok to be angry, a part of the journey. Your family is in my prayers! ❤