Let me know if you can think of any other qualities an introvert needs in a partner! ☕ If you'd like to show me some love, buy me a coffee ❤️ infj.me/coffee Subscribe 👉 infj.me/sub
Thanks, you’ve mentioned most of it but it’s hard to find. One day, I read a tweet like, advocate has to reduce his terms or looks forward a robot. So, I’m looking for a robot, if you have one ._.
I would love to show you some love, my friend. In my head that sounded all sexy. Now I'm going to rethink this post for 7 hours, edit it 14 times, and hate myself for writing it for 3 days.
This is amazing and oh so very accurate Frank. It is only a matter of time before I walk into a room and he's there or He walks into a room and I'm there. Our eyes will meet, we'll flirt . . .🌉💗😍 I can hardly wait Spring/Summer 2021 A [gorgeous] healthy family, expect no less.
I hate when people ask me: "Why are you so quiet?" Because I am. That's how I function. I don't ask others "Why do you talk so much?" It's rude. - Keanu Reeves
Same 😭 I remembered another: "I'm not crazy. My reality is just different than yours." Or: "They laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at them because they're all the same." XD
In my opinion, the question is very rude. Therefore I'd answer in a rude matter as well. "Why are you so quiet?" "Oh sorry, bad habit of mine. I only talk to people with an IQ above 10 ^^"
Not all introverts are quiet because if an introvert gets along with someone or feels an aura about someone that makes the introvert comfortable then that introvert will talk endlessly.
So, as an introvert dating and hoping to marry another introvert, should we plan to get a home with a second bedroom with a single bed for our alone time, in addition to the master bedroom for when we want to be together and rooms for our future kids -- or maybe two extra bedrooms for alone time, one for me and her each?
@@Datgirl0922 That could work -- but we will also need a bedroom for together time (for making babies or just for cuddling together in bed, whichever we're in the mood for)! So, which do you think we should use for that -- my man cave, her girl cave or a whole separate room?
Same lol, reminds me of when my parents would drag me to some sort of family gathering or activity on the weekend (b4 covid ofc) and inwardly I'm like "ugh another full weekend? I already got all the socializing I needed from the weekdays at school I need to recharge and just chill on my bed after finishing my hw while I can"
Right?! So did I! I go to school every day. And I love seeing my friends and such. But then I get drained when I hear about my sister and my mom talk about our family visiting my grandma for Christmas. I'm just thinking "😩😩".
Us introverts are like cats. Like to be alone (at the same time we want attention *SOMETIMES* not all the time. *SOMETIMES* ) We sleep a lot and we kinda quiet And that's all I feel like writing rn 😃
I’m hella single, but when people ask me if I’m okay or if I’m angry just because I’m quiet actually makes me angry when I wasn’t even angry in the first place.
0:17 - can give introvert space 1:06 - understands that the introvert isnt mad if they are quiet 2:20 - can talk abt things in a deep way 3:24 - understands introverts cant socialise all the time 4:10 - challenges the introvert to grow 4:51 - respects that the introvert is sensitive 5:55 - just right on the introvert-extrovert scale
True...i relate to that.. I don't need someone to be too much for me...give me some time alone...please my dear...iam not Mad or Angry...but i just want to Recharge my batteries 😌
I would add that introverts aren’t always able to respond to a situation right away: like if you get in an argument, they may need some time to prepare for it (so that it’s a productive one). When introverts are bothered by something, they may not be able to verbalize their thoughts right away. My husband (extravert) and I (introvert) had a lot of trouble with this at one point. He would notice that something was bothering me and he had this need to clear the air right away, and a lot of times I simply couldn’t. The way we solved it: I needed to tell him GENERALLY what it was that was bothering me (i.e. it’s not him, or it is him, but not his fault, etc.). Then I would get some alone time and we dealt with specifics afterwards.
Sometimes when I get upset or bothered about something, I am unable to explain why at the moment. Like I need to get away to really understand myself and what was making me upset, and then take the time to be able to put those feelings into words.
This quite literally just happened to me. It's like we can't immediately verbally express what exactly we are feeling, we just know the type of feeling it is and its origin. The specifics of it require a process of time to figure out.
I have adhd an I'm an introvert and when my brain doesn't want to do something I will make up a reason why I'm acting on the fact I don't want to do something and I realize at least an hour later that their was a different reason why I was acting that way like I will say when I don't want to do something i usely say my body is hurting when really that day I'm on the verge of a panic attack and if I do anything I will shut down because at the time I'm suffering with overstimulation of my brain even if nothing is happening or someone is just moving things around or walking around if one more thing happens I will either shut down completely, go into rage mode that only music and my partner can get me out of or go into deep depression and this can happen for weeks at a time and it's so bad this is mostly caused by my adhd but it is worsened by the fact I'm an introvert because an extrovert adhd person wouldn't have this happen to them as often
My husband checks all these boxes and is perfect for me. He’s literally everything you mentioned. We’ve been married nearly 20 years. So don’t lose hope fellow introverts!
Same here. We're both the right amount of introverted. We kind of talk each other into going somewhere once in a while when it's something we both really want to attend (science talk or concert). 🙂
@@ninjapirate123 it helps that neither of us believe that affairs “just happen.” We both agree that the first time you realize you find someone attractive and you talk to them when it’s not necessary or exchange numbers, you’re already cheating. Before someone actually cheats, there’s 1000 smaller things they did first. Looks, exchanging numbers, texting, meeting to talk….all that is a precursor to the actual cheating. If you never take that first step, cheating is easily avoided. I know a lot of people don’t agree, but we also don’t believe in opposite sex friendships. They can morph into something inappropriate very easily. Lots of people don’t agree and that’s okay (I just know I’ve irritated someone with that pov, sorry) but that’s how my husband and I do it. We have opposite sex acquaintances and that’s fine, just not close friendships.
Most fundamental is that each partner fully appreciates and understands the other's personality type. Lack of understanding makes any foundation for a relationship precarious at best.
As soon as each other understands, that's when they'll be able to just sit in a room together and not have to talk to each other because they're having a good time being in the vicinity of each other without saying/doing anything with each other. I was a bit hesitant when I first heard it in the video but it can be accomplished comfortably for both if they've established the important foundational things.
@@bobgunner3086 as an introvert I have such a high respect for extroverts as well! There great leaders, and fun people to be around and it’s easy to converse with them! You don’t have to insult others to feel better about yourself.
Although I agree to that but I have mad respects for my extrovert friends, they have good leading abilities and some other stuffs we don't, I hang out with them from time to time and they know me full well so they never asks me why I'm quiet, they just tell me that I'm quiet again but never really be bothered by it.
I dated another introvert. It was great, we really got each other. There were even instances where we would literally be like "Ok, I need some me time, so you need to go," and we were out because we got it.
@@tsnevtbl No I'm not everyone can be themselves no prob but infj are constantly misunderstood we are willing to understand others than they are to understand us
@@tsnevtbl I don’t think so. INFJs are really accepting of others and respect who they are without trying to change them. It doesn’t always feel that way in return. Kind of like, you did just now with your comment. You are assuming and making them feel even more misunderstood. 😅
In her head: "Why is he always quiet? This is not normal for someone to be this quiet. What if he is thinking of someone else? What if he's planning to leave me??" In his head: "I think i'll get some ice cream."
Little fun fact I wanted to share with you guys : years ago, someone told me “you don't say much but you speak wisely” (something like that, because we weren't talking in English). As a slightly shy, introvert, INFJ, sensitive, slightly dramatic, deep, spiritual af person, I swear this is the most beautiful compliment someone ever paid me, and I'm still remembering it from time to time 💕
That’s more about your attachment style. You’ve either got a secure or avoidant attachment style. I’m an extreme introvert with an anxious attachment style and I find it hard not being in a relationship. It just feels lonely.
It’s a self fulfilling prophecy, ask me enough times why I’m quiet or want to be alone and if I’m not upset or angry and I will be upset and angry 🤷🏼♀️
@@pudelnudel6915Rando: “Hey you look angry. Is something wrong” Me: I’m fine Rando: Don’t lie. It’s okay. Tell me what’s wrong Me: IM. FINE. Rando: Are you sure? Please tell me what’s wro- Me: You are what is wrong. Now please leave.
I’ve been married to a total end of the scale extrovert, we were not happy and I was DRAINED. Parties, dîners at friends, concerts, trips abroad, his extrovert mom visiting, dragging me to art shows, restaurants etc...I ended up with high blood pressure and lost. I left him July 2019 and spent the best summer of my life...in my apartment focusing on myself, meanwhile he moved out to share a huge house with 8 roommates! 😂
Wow that sounds really draining - while I'm sad that things ended I'm happy that you can get back to you and find peace of mind. Many blessings on this next chapter.
Oh ! 😮💨 It must of been hell for you. I totally can relate. I really prefer to go to arts show by myself per exemple. A perfect party for me is once or twice a year and say bye bye 👋at 10 pm
You also need someone who stands up for you and can help explain to others that just because you’re quiet does not mean that you are mad , unsocial, judgmental or stuck up.
I’m definitely the outcast in my husband’s world because he’s an Uber-chatter and everyone in his groups are outgoing (mainly because they’re all drinkers), so I always feel way offside. My husband says it’s my own fault. Well. Thanks for the understanding.
So true! But too often kind and warm people are for example ENFJs who loooooove social life. Or ISFJs, lovely people full of empathy and tolerance, but not really into discussing ideas deeply. I've heard INTPs are good partners for us and I want to meet one! (INFJ categorizing people with excitement, classic example...)
The first point is really important. One of the reasons why the relationship with my ex ended was because he didn’t give me enough space. We went to the same school and therefore saw each other very often. So I asked him multiple times to give me more space and alone time because I need it to be emotionally balanced. But he kept pushing me, invading my space and didn’t understand me at all. It was like he was giving me even less space than after I asked him for it. Which eventually resulted into our breakup. So I really hope that my next partner will be someone who can actually respect my boundaries and the fact that I regularly need alone time.
I got triggered when you started talking about "understand that the introvert isn't mad if they are quiet" I literally can not stand people asking me "Are you ok, you seem quiet?" like people just automatically assume I'm mad because I'm not saying anything!
And this is why I, as an introvert, date an introvert. Our own quiet times alone are great. I don’t need to explain why I need my quiet time, and he doesn’t have to explain it to me when he needs it. Our conversations are wonderful as well. It also helps that we’re both on the Autism spectrum so we really understand each other’s needs. DATING SOMEONE LIKE YOU IS NOT A BAD THING!!! Don’t date someone exactly like you, for example interests, but date someone who understands you very well because they are like that themselves.
We can be alone- together. My bestie just gets me and and we have deep, endless conversations I don’t have with anyone else. Another, we met and immediately she said “I like you because we don’t have to talk and just get each other”
My partner and I are both introverts. There are some days when we just talk to each other shortly before work and give us a good night kiss before going to bed because our introvert batteries are empty, so we need our time alone. Or in my case time with the cats and in his case time with his favourite computer game. I was never happier in a relationship because he understands it when I'm feeling exhausted after work because I had to interact with too many people, so he will just bring me a hot chocolate and leave me alone. 😍
I envy you too -- although I have found a fellow introvert of the opposite sex, she's away taking care of a sick relative, so we're long-distance indefinitely 😢
@@LoveK1 as INTP, small talk helps me draw a psychoplogical portrait of a person. I basically replacy Interrogative-question marathon with small talk learning some stuff everyday. I see that as a more effecient way to not make the other person uncomphortable. But it does cost me a S*it ton of time(days)
As an intp I can do small talk here and there( I start doing meditation or analyzing things or see it was a spiritual practice)...but if I have to do it every day and with the same person...I ll be like- oh my god somebody please shoot me...I just look at extroverts and think how can you talk all the time and about the same shallow thing again and again ...like I understood you the first time VS my extroverted relative and I were driving back in a car and I was silent for 10 min( only) and she was like - u are pretty quiet and I said - no not really but thought - and I was just enjoying myself...sometimes I just feel like extroverts need to much/ constant verbal - emotional appeasement.
As an ENFP who has *always* had relationships with introverts, I wanted to add that I learned not to get offended when my introvert declines a social event that is important to me. Sometimes it’s difficult, but I try to understand how draining Grandma’s 90th birthday weekend can be (as an example). Good relationships involve compromise on both sides, and sometimes that means attending events alone, as the extrovert.
Grandma's 90th on its own, including family, would likely have been doable. Birthday weekend is what was too much. Unless she lives close to rural walking trails and has dogs that need to use them. We can cope with outdoors, alone. Lol
You're one in a million among extroverts -- most of them would be dragging their introvert partner kicking and screaming to every party in town, or guilt-tripping them afterward for skipping said party!
Number 2. Spot on !!!!. It really annoys me when people keep asking how I'm feeling, just because I'm quiet. Also in a group of discussion, out of the blue, in the middle of the debate, someone ask why I'm quiet. It's because I'VE BEEN LISTENING to you guys !!!! I respect you and your opinion by listening the whole story and not cutting your sentences.
This is definitely outlines everything I have come to find out. Also as introverts we need to also focus on learning how to atleast start a conversation and not just leave everything to chance. I have managed to be able to talk to people about stuff that its important, also I can actually say "good morning" to people at work. Sounds silly but it use to be nerve wracking even thinking about saying something.
My ENFJ boyfriend recently told me that "it would be nice" if I were more spontaneous. It turned out that what he meant was "more extraverted". Honestly, it hurts a bit - I never asked him to be different from how he is
My ENFJ boyfriend kept trying to "improve" me. Basically, I just wasn't what he actually wanted. His manipulation of me while ignoring my needs drove me away.
In a perfect world, my ideal introvert partner and I would live in a house that is laid out in a way that I can go to my half of the house and he’s on his half and we have a our separate, introvert alone time for a few hours so that i can actually miss him. And when I am ready to see his face and he is ready to see mine.. we meet in the middle of the house and be quiet together.
My family asks me if I missed them after 12 hrs. and look at me strange when I say no. I enjoy being alone so it would take days for me to miss them. I’m in such a better mood when I actually WANT to hold conversations because usually in that alone time I’ve learned interesting things. I’m actually excited to share them and have a discussion.
I like this! I've always wanted to get at least a 2-3 room living space (apt or house) so she and I can have our alone time when we need and also so I can have a game room xD then we see each other in our common spaces or rooms when we want :)
@@abioni6092 seriously, I’d probably be okay talking once every two weeks. Anytime my phone rings I get EXTREMELY irritated. Just text me, I don’t want to talk. Only call me if it’s an emergency. Phone calls seem aggressive to me, like you don’t think the person’s time is important. Like they just have this time to waste on you.
INTJ here : I need someone who’d give me a lot of space alone and will listen to me when I talk. All the time I spend alone is thinking of very interesting subjects and making those insightful links.. I’m preparing myself to how I should say my ideas out loud so when I’m talking to you about something I have been thinking about for weeks, it really matters to me. I an be coming up with a new philosophy huh? Everything was well thought
@@disablopusher2295 the problem i had (female INTP) when i crushed on (male INTJ), is that both of us ended up being too "cold" 😂 we're good mind-sparring partners to talk about insight and perspective but no one is warming up to romance. we are still best friends and can count on each other for discussion, but no romance my case 😂. i am with INFP male now, and his little adorable doings brings up my romantic side unexpectedly . maybe its just me but it seems INTP needs some warmth to catalyst our caring side (but still comfortable enough that it doesn't exhaust or irked us).
same things are my partner's have😅. She liked lonlyness, but still she loves me, I fell that. Yes, she is not talkative, she can't explore her all feeling, but she wants to be with me. I'm very lucky to have she in my life. She is my best friend & girl friend both. She promised me that she will never leave me😊. After watching this video I respected her sensitivity❤.... Thank you @FrankJames❤
I just discovered your videos and I want to say thank you. I never understood what my deal was …thought I had social anxiety disorder turns out I’m just an introvert. Every video I watch sounds like you’re talking directly to me. Thank you so much
I'm very introverted. I like to date people who are just slightly more extroverted than me. But unfortunately...they usually want to date people more extroverted than themselves too.
@@darthvader1793 focus on building your careers and positive hobbies, then you'll feel more confident in yourself. Don't have negative screen names like "i dont matter". When you catch yourself saying negative things to yourself in your head, stop and say something positive.
I've just watched your video "beating social anxiety" so I'm doing my first little step - leaving my first public comment here XD. So thank you, you're doing an amazing job and helping me lot. I can relate to every word you say. Thank you so much. You're the best❤️❤️❤️
Good on you. A year on I hope you've taken several more little steps since and become less anxious for finding the world is still as intact.as its always been.
My husband understands why I need my space, he respects how much I need it and most of all, he protects my space from others. And he is an extrovert. I adore him. So dear fellow introverts, miracles do exist, do not settle for less, there will be a partner who will defend your introvert rights for you.
About the sensitive thing you literally hit the nail on the head, literally I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been on a family trip (where there’s a lot of people - obviously not recently) for the day when I’m actually having a good time (cause I’ve had time to prepare mentally 👍) but someone else gets into an argument or gets annoyed for a second and my mood just goes completelyyy downhill, even when everyone else forgets about it 😣 I actually can’t get over it cause I’m stuck with these same people for the next two hours
@@dany9276 Thank you so much. Although I already found out what it was. I searched some videos on personality tests and think that I'm ISFJ. Still I'm not satisfied with this. I believe that I'm not perfectly ISFJ. I know I'm introvert so I'm sure I is there. But i get confused between S/N T/F P/J.
@@anuragsosa Me too. Welcome to the INFP-T Club. We arrange gatherings/meetings and none of us show up. Strangely it’s because we all have dead grandmothers but that doesn’t bother us.
Agree, they really won't appear in your living room out of thin air 😉 Personnally I hated the process of using a dating app (Bumble) in the beginning of the pandemic but convinved myself to try it, as meeting someone in-person was much less likely than usual. I've found someone amazing and we've been dating for 7 months now ❤️
I think you have to look for the extroverts. There’s a lot of relationships with two introverts , but I see more relationships successful with extrovert-introvert. In public they can seem both extroverted but they’re I’s and E’s in reality. The thing is most extroverts don’t want a long term relationship with a fellow extrovert. They just don’t work (experience talking and from what I’ve seen). It’s more common for introverts to be together. But you have to use the fact (yes I’ll go that far) that extroverts want introverts to see that there’s a big potential dating pool out there. If you think someone likes you a lot, play it cool and they will be at your mercy. But hey problem is you have to like them back I guess lol.
Step 1 : Go socialize on something you like. Anything where you can meet people is fine. Step 2 : Talk. No you can't avoid that. Step 3 : ??? Step 4 : Profit!
Glad that you pointed out No.7. This introvert/extrovert scale thing really is important to find the right partner! For example, I’m INFP and I find ENFP and ENFJ are good match as they are slightly more extroverted but still calm and somewhat reserved.
I agree most people just don't get it but I make no apologies I'm just me but I think in relationships going out with an extrovert is too much. I wouldn't mind dating an introvert that's just a little more out going than I am but I won't be the one to constantly hold his hand while he gets his Xtra verted side going.
@@tsnevtbl cognitive functionvise identity is related to introverted deciders (introverted feeling, or introverted thinking) and ixxp's are introverted decider dominants(their first function is Fi or Ti). They have hard time relating to people because their extroverted decider(extroverted feeling, or extroverted thinking {aka the tribe or the ppl function}) is their inferior function(4th function). That's why they'll be hard and sometimes can even be stubborn on their identity. An ixtp is a Ti dom and an ixfp is Fi dom. :=D
I started to comment "I need someone who can give me space" but then the video started and I realised its the first thing one the list😂 love you FJ please make more videos about introverts! And congrats on 500k subs💙
Im an ENFP and I often make introverts friends,,,, I literally love, respect and appreciate their qualities and they're all I need emotionality and intelectually.
I'm an INFJ and I was married to an ENFP, I also work with two. We can talk for hours. They inspire me to risk and laugh more, I tone them down and organize little things, e.g. find everyday objects they leave absolutely everywhere and forget about :D I think our types are quite compatible.
Since we ENFPs are so independent, I think that helps a lot with introvert relationships. We have NO problem giving someone space if we get our space, too... but us getting space might mean going out with friends 😉
ENFPs adopting an introvert into a social circle is always fun, and is often unpredictable to me (ISTP here). They often go on their wild tangents and leave me with my personal space, but they'll always come remember to come back. Win-win!
Basically, introverts are SELF-FOCUSED and don’t need ANYONE actually. It’s exhausting trying to “service” all the introvert’s needs and sensitivities.
I'm really glad he said that for number three. Processing the world at a deep level. Small talk being exhausting. It's also neat how he talked about introverts not talking much. I like how he enjoys talking about things that he faces every day. I get so talkative when it's about personality type or my introvertedness.
I love your channel. Growing up in a big loud family thats very outgoing, it was a challenge for me as the quiet one. After hearing people ask me if im ok all throughout my life made me question myself alot. Now being older i view it more as a strength than weakness. So i laugh and just appreciate how accurate your videos are. 🙌
Living in a family of noisy, outgoing people is always going to grind your gears when you’re the reserved type but family’s always family. There’ll be times when they really irritate you but so long as they’re not toxic they will be receptive to the boundaries you set with them (as an adult) after a while.
My SO is an introvert. He is way more introvert than me. He did say “I like that we both just like to stay at home” but he also told me “you’re more extroverted than me”. I do think that I become the more extrovert one when I’m with him. I’d want to be with him constantly although we’re not doing anything. Just enjoying the quiet time. No talking, just enjoy each other’s presence. And that is the best thing of this relationship. But yeah, the need of alone time is no joke 😂 it is a non negotiable thing
Great video Frank ! for me having space, deep talks & someone who'd understand that i'm naturally sensitive are extremely important to sustain any relationship ! (including friendships )
Deep conversations. That is what gets me in social situations. People generally flow from one topic to another and if something peaks my interest and I start thinking about it when I become aware of my surroundings again I am totally lost to the current conversation and it takes time to figure out what they are talking about now and sometimes I never catch up and I get lost in thoughts of how did they go from Star Wars to rabbit food.
I'm in a distant relationship with another introverted girl, we're both INFPs, I just spent the weekend with her and now I'm crying in the train back home because I already miss her.
Before I knew I was introverted or even before I knew being intro/extro was a thing, I thought something was wrong with me. I thought I was supposed to be outgoing and energetic and always doing something etc. What a relief to know who I am is perfectly fine. 🙂
There are different types of quiet. I can't be the only one who can tell this. I have to keep telling my Dad that just because I'm quiet when he's driving me somewhere doesn't mean something I have a problem. I don't have something to verbalize 24/7. Sometimes a girl just to be quiet and be in deep thought.
I was listening to RUclips as I usually do at bedtime and this video just randomly started and made me sit up and listen. My partner needs to hear this. I am an Introvert and I really need for my partner to listen to this also because I’ve been trying to explain to him everything that’s right here in this awesome video. Maybe he’ll understand me better if he hears someone else. I really hope so anyways 💯💖‼️
Back in school, a lot of people seemed to hate me (Especially boys, I still don't know why) But I was just quiet and shy, I wasn't mean or anything... I just couldn't talk, I couldn't, I was to afraid to do anything wrong. And so they ignored me and talked about me, how weird I am... Those years had been awful.
INFJ here! My current partner, who is an ENFP, hits all of these points. Very blessed to have someone who understands an introvert. Find someone who is patient and willing to listen. But also someone who can challenge your norms. INFJs hate change. But having someone you trust that encourages a little change, it can be easier to handle.
I’m just watching this video because I’m bored and binge watching RUclips and Netflix but then there’s people that will take this video and apply it to every single introvert there is.
I'm an introvert (INFP), in a relationship with someone even more introverted than me. It is indeed exhausting to be responsible for our social life, to the point that I gave up. I have friends and activities outside of the home, and I offer him to come knowing everytime he'll say no I'll be going alone. Living with such a radical introvert has helped me understand how extroverts feel around me
Thanks for making so much content on introverts and extroverts (and using humor)! It feels like a really helpful topic for people to understand! Also certain trauma can at times I feel make people appear and behave more introverted than they are.
I feel like Frank James might be an introvert, who is speaking, through a video, to a partner (possibly ex) about what they could/should’ve done. I’m a shut in.
If I don't get my alone time I will literally have a mental breakdown. We once went on a weekend trip with the school and by the end I had completely lost it!!
Find a group to be in. I was like that, alone for 27 years. Then I joined a group of really cool people, and 3 months later I had a girlfriend. I'm INTP she is INTJ.
Hey introverts, sounds like you need an ENTP in your life > We'll handle the public social interactions > We love stimulating intellectual conversation and topics > We are the introverts of the extroverts, so we too value our alone time > We have endless ideas of things to do and explore to help you expand your horizons
Where were you all my life???!! I'm 100% an introvert and have learned so much about myself through this video! Seriously all of my pleasant and horrifying experiences flashed in my mind and now make sense! Thank you so much! Now, if can just play this for everyone in my world! #3,4 &6 really hit home
I am married to a fellow introvert, so that kind of works out with understanding each other, though we see the world from different angles. I think dating an extrovert would only really work, if that person was okay with having their social life on their own, while I do my alone-time-hobbies. My introvert husband and I also don't have a lot of hobbies in common, but spend time separately. Or alone together sort of arrangement.
It's funny because some time last week there was a question something like "if I would be in a relationship with you from now on, what is the first thing / most important thing I would need to know?" and the first thing that popped into my head was "I need space" :D Which makes it understandable how I have come "so far" in life without missing a romantic relationship :D
As an INFJ, I would add #8: We hate friction/tension/stress in a relationship. We need to be with someone who’s on the same page on issues that are important to us. Otherwise, there will be a lot of tension and stress between the two, and any important communication will be severely limited due to the introvert not wanting to deal with the same arguments over and over again with there not being any way to resolve them.
Oooommmgggg so true I cannot stand it when trying for a relationship I get annoyed when people think I'm quiet it means I'm mad when it actually makes me mad when people think that
I am EXTREMELY blessed that my husband is, according to several online tests, 54% extrovert and 46% introvert. With me being 97% introvert he is able to not only understand my need for alone time, but also when I need to be gently encouraged to join the outside world for a bit. ❤️
Let me know if you can think of any other qualities an introvert needs in a partner!
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Thanks, you’ve mentioned most of it but it’s hard to find. One day, I read a tweet like, advocate has to reduce his terms or looks forward a robot. So, I’m looking for a robot, if you have one ._.
Pretty much intelligent and mature, is that too much to ask?
I would love to show you some love, my friend. In my head that sounded all sexy. Now I'm going to rethink this post for 7 hours, edit it 14 times, and hate myself for writing it for 3 days.
This is amazing and oh so very accurate Frank. It is only a matter of time before I walk into a room and he's there or He walks into a room and I'm there. Our eyes will meet, we'll flirt . . .🌉💗😍
I can hardly wait Spring/Summer 2021
A [gorgeous] healthy family, expect no less.
I would like to see how introverts cope with friendly neighbours.
At this point, I just want a partner that actually exists tbh.
it's sad how accurate this is
i’m an INFP so this is way too accurate
Mood.
Yeah Im not in a position in which I can be choosing too much lol
rip introverts
I hate when people ask me: "Why are you so quiet?" Because I am. That's how I function. I don't ask others "Why do you talk so much?" It's rude. - Keanu Reeves
"Why are you so quiet?"
"Because I am busy actually thinking"
Same 😭
I remembered another:
"I'm not crazy. My reality is just different than yours."
Or:
"They laugh at me because I'm different.
I laugh at them because they're all the same." XD
In my opinion, the question is very rude. Therefore I'd answer in a rude matter as well.
"Why are you so quiet?"
"Oh sorry, bad habit of mine. I only talk to people with an IQ above 10 ^^"
@@shouter0086 mic drop
Received the same questionssss again and again and again
Not all introverts are quiet because if an introvert gets along with someone or feels an aura about someone that makes the introvert comfortable then that introvert will talk endlessly.
sounds to me like you're an empath !
That's me!😁
And even share tmi! lol
I do this with my introvert friend .... Alot
You know.... you're right
2 introverts in relationship:
-I wanna be alone
-me too
-Ok, thanks for understanding
Lmfao
What a great relationship
We introverts don't tell that we want to be alone that way, this may make others feel rude
😅
Lmao
Someone who understands that just being in the same room counts as spending time together.
Hear, hear
So real
So, as an introvert dating and hoping to marry another introvert, should we plan to get a home with a second bedroom with a single bed for our alone time, in addition to the master bedroom for when we want to be together and rooms for our future kids -- or maybe two extra bedrooms for alone time, one for me and her each?
@@agentorange153you can have a man cave and she can have a girl cave
@@Datgirl0922 That could work -- but we will also need a bedroom for together time (for making babies or just for cuddling together in bed, whichever we're in the mood for)! So, which do you think we should use for that -- my man cave, her girl cave or a whole separate room?
I feel like it easier to imagine what we need need in a relationship than actually be in one
now that statement has a strongggg INFP energy 😂
Yes I agree
@@chaoscoloursurlife4197 I am literally an INFP
if that isn’t the most introvert statement ever lol
That is the relationship where nothing fails 😄
"I crave the most innocent parts of a relationship. Like holding hands, forehead kisses and being able to tell someone how much I adore them."
🙌🏻🙌🏻
❤️
Yeah me too but unfortunately that’s not what’s happening. So I like being alone instead 😂
Yes!
Hell yes
When you started saying "after social event after social event after social event" I GOT DRAINED JUST BY HEARING THAT
Same lol, reminds me of when my parents would drag me to some sort of family gathering or activity on the weekend (b4 covid ofc) and inwardly I'm like "ugh another full weekend? I already got all the socializing I needed from the weekdays at school I need to recharge and just chill on my bed after finishing my hw while I can"
"Smizing" out loud.
Right?! So did I! I go to school every day. And I love seeing my friends and such. But then I get drained when I hear about my sister and my mom talk about our family visiting my grandma for Christmas. I'm just thinking "😩😩".
I got drained by reading this
The phrase "Bar Crawl" immediately exhausts me
Us introverts are like cats. Like to be alone (at the same time we want attention *SOMETIMES* not all the time. *SOMETIMES* )
We sleep a lot and we kinda quiet
And that's all I feel like writing rn 😃
Well said.
I get it!
Seems good to me(cat gif) badum tss✌🏻
No wonder why my all-time favourite animals are cats and wild cats.
Same
I’m hella single, but when people ask me if I’m okay or if I’m angry just because I’m quiet actually makes me angry when I wasn’t even angry in the first place.
When ur the only introvert with a big family of extroverts who don't understand my introvert NEEDS or SPACE
Pls can someone relate? 😩
Oh I am so sorry for you. That most be extremely tough. I say the majority of my family are ambiverts with some slightly more extraverted
i can relate 😭its tough bc it drives me mad sometimes when i just want solitude
Yup! Lol😝
My mom and sister are the most extroverted extroverts I know...
Lol, I’m in the opposite situation, so I do get the mismatch! I actually did a talk on being an extrovert surrounded by introverts.
0:17 - can give introvert space
1:06 - understands that the introvert isnt mad if they are quiet
2:20 - can talk abt things in a deep way
3:24 - understands introverts cant socialise all the time
4:10 - challenges the introvert to grow
4:51 - respects that the introvert is sensitive
5:55 - just right on the introvert-extrovert scale
Thank you
True...i relate to that..
I don't need someone to be too much for me...give me some time alone...please my dear...iam not Mad or Angry...but i just want to Recharge my batteries 😌
@@nomsamkhize5224 yes I understand I'm an introvert too
Mvp 👏. Thank you!
yeah my sister is always looking at me i don't like it
I would add that introverts aren’t always able to respond to a situation right away: like if you get in an argument, they may need some time to prepare for it (so that it’s a productive one). When introverts are bothered by something, they may not be able to verbalize their thoughts right away. My husband (extravert) and I (introvert) had a lot of trouble with this at one point. He would notice that something was bothering me and he had this need to clear the air right away, and a lot of times I simply couldn’t. The way we solved it: I needed to tell him GENERALLY what it was that was bothering me (i.e. it’s not him, or it is him, but not his fault, etc.). Then I would get some alone time and we dealt with specifics afterwards.
That sounds like a good approach, thank you for sharing! :)
Sometimes when I get upset or bothered about something, I am unable to explain why at the moment. Like I need to get away to really understand myself and what was making me upset, and then take the time to be able to put those feelings into words.
This quite literally just happened to me. It's like we can't immediately verbally express what exactly we are feeling, we just know the type of feeling it is and its origin. The specifics of it require a process of time to figure out.
@@susiesan i'm so happy that im not the only one who feel that way
I have adhd an I'm an introvert and when my brain doesn't want to do something I will make up a reason why I'm acting on the fact I don't want to do something and I realize at least an hour later that their was a different reason why I was acting that way like I will say when I don't want to do something i usely say my body is hurting when really that day I'm on the verge of a panic attack and if I do anything I will shut down because at the time I'm suffering with overstimulation of my brain even if nothing is happening or someone is just moving things around or walking around if one more thing happens I will either shut down completely, go into rage mode that only music and my partner can get me out of or go into deep depression and this can happen for weeks at a time and it's so bad this is mostly caused by my adhd but it is worsened by the fact I'm an introvert because an extrovert adhd person wouldn't have this happen to them as often
What I need: Someone who can talk to the cashier at a fast food chain for me.
Or someone to make phonecalls for me.
@@PatiNagy yes phone calls are my worst nightmare.
Same here
Someone to orders for me, I don’t care if I pay, just order for me in a way that puts no stress on me whatsoever
Lmao no joke
My husband checks all these boxes and is perfect for me. He’s literally everything you mentioned. We’ve been married nearly 20 years. So don’t lose hope fellow introverts!
Luckyyyyyyy🙏✨
Happy to see you guys are going strong 20 years still! Blessings!
Same here. We're both the right amount of introverted. We kind of talk each other into going somewhere once in a while when it's something we both really want to attend (science talk or concert). 🙂
You’re a lucky woman
Wow very nice, you and him hasn't cheated on each other for 20 years. Definitely better than the extroverts
@@ninjapirate123 it helps that neither of us believe that affairs “just happen.” We both agree that the first time you realize you find someone attractive and you talk to them when it’s not necessary or exchange numbers, you’re already cheating. Before someone actually cheats, there’s 1000 smaller things they did first. Looks, exchanging numbers, texting, meeting to talk….all that is a precursor to the actual cheating. If you never take that first step, cheating is easily avoided. I know a lot of people don’t agree, but we also don’t believe in opposite sex friendships. They can morph into something inappropriate very easily. Lots of people don’t agree and that’s okay (I just know I’ve irritated someone with that pov, sorry) but that’s how my husband and I do it. We have opposite sex acquaintances and that’s fine, just not close friendships.
Most fundamental is that each partner fully appreciates and understands the other's personality type. Lack of understanding makes any foundation for a relationship precarious at best.
Exactly!!! Understanding is so important. Two people can make their relationship work as long as they really “get” their partner.❤️
As soon as each other understands, that's when they'll be able to just sit in a room together and not have to talk to each other because they're having a good time being in the vicinity of each other without saying/doing anything with each other. I was a bit hesitant when I first heard it in the video but it can be accomplished comfortably for both if they've established the important foundational things.
My social needs are met by the internet and a trip to the walmart
....or Target!
Thats just strangers
Same here, except I shop more stores.
And exceeded by having to go to work.
Oh my God this is deadass my life 💀
I am proud to be an introvert. Introverts are deep, thoughtful and intelligent people.
Exactly. Extroverts just prattle on and on and on about stupid stuff all the time. Its annoying.
@@bobgunner3086 as an introvert I have such a high respect for extroverts as well! There great leaders, and fun people to be around and it’s easy to converse with them! You don’t have to insult others to feel better about yourself.
Truth. The quiet ones have deep thoughts. GOD Bless You!✝️🕊❤️
Although I agree to that but I have mad respects for my extrovert friends, they have good leading abilities and some other stuffs we don't, I hang out with them from time to time and they know me full well so they never asks me why I'm quiet, they just tell me that I'm quiet again but never really be bothered by it.
🙂its me an introvert
I dated another introvert. It was great, we really got each other. There were even instances where we would literally be like "Ok, I need some me time, so you need to go," and we were out because we got it.
Ouch! I’m an introvert. Was this any fun? I need someone to draw me out a little bit.
Omg that's sounds awesome
Most Important thing: LOYALTY
I feel like I’m part of a species that is being investigated xD
You are
Me too
lmfao
We're being invaded here😂
Same here. XD
If ppl could just understand as to why we act like this, would make the world a better place to live.
I get called anti-social, crabby, etc. But damn, just leave me alone sometimes and stop calling my name!
So true but they're to busy judging and nitpicking us for being us
@@raheemcharles1030 and you're judging them for being them? Take responsibility.
@@tsnevtbl No I'm not everyone can be themselves no prob but infj are constantly misunderstood we are willing to understand others than they are to understand us
@@tsnevtbl I don’t think so. INFJs are really accepting of others and respect who they are without trying to change them. It doesn’t always feel that way in return. Kind of like, you did just now with your comment. You are assuming and making them feel even more misunderstood. 😅
My husband and I are both introverts, but I definitely have the stronger hermit-like tendencies. I need A LOT of alone time.
That sounds amazing. :)
Same
Which personality type are you?
Same with my husband :)
@@kathie_franco INTP. My husband is the same.
In her head: "Why is he always quiet? This is not normal for someone to be this quiet. What if he is thinking of someone else? What if he's planning to leave me??"
In his head: "I think i'll get some ice cream."
yes so true! this happens to me all the time!
😂😂😂
I've been craving the ice cream van for 2 days in between fantasising my crush.
Little fun fact I wanted to share with you guys : years ago, someone told me “you don't say much but you speak wisely” (something like that, because we weren't talking in English). As a slightly shy, introvert, INFJ, sensitive, slightly dramatic, deep, spiritual af person, I swear this is the most beautiful compliment someone ever paid me, and I'm still remembering it from time to time 💕
I wish someone will told this compliment to me 💜😊
one good thing about being introverted is i don't feel like i need a relationship to complete/fulfill me in any way!!
And finally I know I am not the only one in this world who think this
@@awildatejeda1411 it's liberating!
My dream job would be lighthouse keeper
@@louisejoel now that would be a bomb job
That’s more about your attachment style. You’ve either got a secure or avoidant attachment style. I’m an extreme introvert with an anxious attachment style and I find it hard not being in a relationship. It just feels lonely.
What do I need as an introvert? SPACE
It’s a self fulfilling prophecy, ask me enough times why I’m quiet or want to be alone and if I’m not upset or angry and I will be upset and angry 🤷🏼♀️
Me: just sitting somewhere, enjoying myself, just sitting
Some random person: OH MY GOD YOU LOOK SO SAD, ARE YOU OKAY???"
My mood: drops in the cellar
@@pudelnudel6915 that’s relatable!
@@pudelnudel6915Rando: “Hey you look angry. Is something wrong”
Me: I’m fine
Rando: Don’t lie. It’s okay. Tell me what’s wrong
Me: IM. FINE.
Rando: Are you sure? Please tell me what’s wro-
Me: You are what is wrong. Now please leave.
@@rRevilo64 that is so frustrating, I HATE that
@@pudelnudel6915 Not even when Im sad somebody asks me whats wrong
I’ve been married to a total end of the scale extrovert, we were not happy and I was DRAINED. Parties, dîners at friends, concerts, trips abroad, his extrovert mom visiting, dragging me to art shows, restaurants etc...I ended up with high blood pressure and lost. I left him July 2019 and spent the best summer of my life...in my apartment focusing on myself, meanwhile he moved out to share a huge house with 8 roommates! 😂
😂😂😂omg 8 roomates
Wow that sounds really draining - while I'm sad that things ended I'm happy that you can get back to you and find peace of mind. Many blessings on this next chapter.
You guys were incompatible as much as I understand. Good for you to leave a toxic relationship.
8 roommates bruh I would have gone crazy
Oh ! 😮💨 It must of been hell for you. I totally can relate. I really prefer to go to arts show by myself per exemple. A perfect party for me is once or twice a year and say bye bye 👋at 10 pm
You also need someone who stands up for you and can help explain to others that just because you’re quiet does not mean that you are mad , unsocial, judgmental or stuck up.
I’m definitely the outcast in my husband’s world because he’s an Uber-chatter and everyone in his groups are outgoing (mainly because they’re all drinkers), so I always feel way offside. My husband says it’s my own fault. Well. Thanks for the understanding.
I think specifically INFJs just need someone who generally has a kind and understanding soul.
I feel this
Amen to that!
Message from an INFJ: true
So true! But too often kind and warm people are for example ENFJs who loooooove social life. Or ISFJs, lovely people full of empathy and tolerance, but not really into discussing ideas deeply. I've heard INTPs are good partners for us and I want to meet one! (INFJ categorizing people with excitement, classic example...)
The only thing that works is having another INFJ as a partner. At least it works for me, thank God.
If my romantic partner doesn't call me "beautiful shut-in", I don't want anything
@@darthvader1793 He said it in the video 😅
We need someone that understands😔
The first point is really important. One of the reasons why the relationship with my ex ended was because he didn’t give me enough space. We went to the same school and therefore saw each other very often. So I asked him multiple times to give me more space and alone time because I need it to be emotionally balanced. But he kept pushing me, invading my space and didn’t understand me at all. It was like he was giving me even less space than after I asked him for it. Which eventually resulted into our breakup.
So I really hope that my next partner will be someone who can actually respect my boundaries and the fact that I regularly need alone time.
As someone who is not an introvert, those who are, sound like HARD WORK !!
I got triggered when you started talking about "understand that the introvert isn't mad if they are quiet" I literally can not stand people asking me "Are you ok, you seem quiet?" like people just automatically assume I'm mad because I'm not saying anything!
Some people don't feel the need to constantly talk all the time many different types of people in the world.
This drives me absolutely bonkers too! Some people definitely have a harder time than others understanding this.
@@barbaricstrike5814 do you get mad because others think you are mad?
@@brena6395 Not really I let people think whatever they want to think it has no effect on my life.
@@barbaricstrike5814 oh
And this is why I, as an introvert, date an introvert. Our own quiet times alone are great. I don’t need to explain why I need my quiet time, and he doesn’t have to explain it to me when he needs it. Our conversations are wonderful as well. It also helps that we’re both on the Autism spectrum so we really understand each other’s needs. DATING SOMEONE LIKE YOU IS NOT A BAD THING!!! Don’t date someone exactly like you, for example interests, but date someone who understands you very well because they are like that themselves.
Frank: "Introverts do need to socialize...I don't want to let introverts off the hook."
Me: Dammit, Frank!
That's kinda what I thought 🤣
Seriously. Why are we on the hook for being our natural, introvert selves?
We can be alone- together.
My bestie just gets me and and we have deep, endless conversations I don’t have with anyone else. Another, we met and immediately she said “I like you because we don’t have to talk and just get each other”
My partner and I are both introverts. There are some days when we just talk to each other shortly before work and give us a good night kiss before going to bed because our introvert batteries are empty, so we need our time alone. Or in my case time with the cats and in his case time with his favourite computer game. I was never happier in a relationship because he understands it when I'm feeling exhausted after work because I had to interact with too many people, so he will just bring me a hot chocolate and leave me alone. 😍
So cute 😊 and sweet 🍰! I ❤ this for you both!
How I envy you... I have never succeded in finding another introvert.
I envy you too -- although I have found a fellow introvert of the opposite sex, she's away taking care of a sick relative, so we're long-distance indefinitely 😢
I need intelectual conversations
Seriously, otherwise what’s the point? I hate small talk, I don’t give a shit about your “fur babies” Emily!
@@LoveK1 as INTP, small talk helps me draw a psychoplogical portrait of a person. I basically replacy Interrogative-question marathon with small talk learning some stuff everyday. I see that as a more effecient way to not make the other person uncomphortable. But it does cost me a S*it ton of time(days)
Most of all, plz make sense on what you're saying.
@@jokidasxm5288 we're all right but small talk it is really draining, its like most people just suck us up
As an intp I can do small talk here and there( I start doing meditation or analyzing things or see it was a spiritual practice)...but if I have to do it every day and with the same person...I ll be like- oh my god somebody please shoot me...I just look at extroverts and think how can you talk all the time and about the same shallow thing again and again ...like I understood you the first time VS
my extroverted relative and I were driving back in a car and I was silent for 10 min( only) and she was like - u are pretty quiet and I said - no not really but thought - and I was just enjoying myself...sometimes I just feel like extroverts need to much/ constant verbal - emotional appeasement.
"Oh, you never want to go outside? Let me enable you, you beautiful shut in..."
Lmao
This line killed me.
As an ENFP who has *always* had relationships with introverts, I wanted to add that I learned not to get offended when my introvert declines a social event that is important to me. Sometimes it’s difficult, but I try to understand how draining Grandma’s 90th birthday weekend can be (as an example). Good relationships involve compromise on both sides, and sometimes that means attending events alone, as the extrovert.
Grandma's 90th on its own, including family, would likely have been doable. Birthday weekend is what was too much. Unless she lives close to rural walking trails and has dogs that need to use them. We can cope with outdoors, alone. Lol
You're one in a million among extroverts -- most of them would be dragging their introvert partner kicking and screaming to every party in town, or guilt-tripping them afterward for skipping said party!
Number 2. Spot on !!!!.
It really annoys me when people keep asking how I'm feeling, just because I'm quiet.
Also in a group of discussion, out of the blue, in the middle of the debate, someone ask why I'm quiet. It's because I'VE BEEN LISTENING to you guys !!!! I respect you and your opinion by listening the whole story and not cutting your sentences.
Maybe you might feel better when you hangout with other introverts
This is definitely outlines everything I have come to find out.
Also as introverts we need to also focus on learning how to atleast start a conversation and not just leave everything to chance.
I have managed to be able to talk to people about stuff that its important, also I can actually say "good morning" to people at work. Sounds silly but it use to be nerve wracking even thinking about saying something.
My ENFJ boyfriend recently told me that "it would be nice" if I were more spontaneous. It turned out that what he meant was "more extraverted". Honestly, it hurts a bit - I never asked him to be different from how he is
My ENFJ boyfriend kept trying to "improve" me. Basically, I just wasn't what he actually wanted. His manipulation of me while ignoring my needs drove me away.
Very relatable.
Extroverts vibrate on an entirely different frequency than we do. They just cant help themselves. I think we make them anxious.
Maybe dump him and find someone more compatible?
In a perfect world, my ideal introvert partner and I would live in a house that is laid out in a way that I can go to my half of the house and he’s on his half and we have a our separate, introvert alone time for a few hours so that i can actually miss him.
And when I am ready to see his face and he is ready to see mine.. we meet in the middle of the house and be quiet together.
My family asks me if I missed them after 12 hrs. and look at me strange when I say no. I enjoy being alone so it would take days for me to miss them. I’m in such a better mood when I actually WANT to hold conversations because usually in that alone time I’ve learned interesting things. I’m actually excited to share them and have a discussion.
I like this! I've always wanted to get at least a 2-3 room living space (apt or house) so she and I can have our alone time when we need and also so I can have a game room xD then we see each other in our common spaces or rooms when we want :)
LoveK omg this! My mum gets upset that I don’t call her everyday but if I did I’d be in the worst mood, so what’s the point??
@@abioni6092 seriously, I’d probably be okay talking once every two weeks. Anytime my phone rings I get EXTREMELY irritated. Just text me, I don’t want to talk. Only call me if it’s an emergency. Phone calls seem aggressive to me, like you don’t think the person’s time is important. Like they just have this time to waste on you.
@@LoveK1 My sister went to Australia and always asks me if I miss her, even we small talk every single day.
INTJ here : I need someone who’d give me a lot of space alone and will listen to me when I talk. All the time I spend alone is thinking of very interesting subjects and making those insightful links.. I’m preparing myself to how I should say my ideas out loud so when I’m talking to you about something I have been thinking about for weeks, it really matters to me. I an be coming up with a new philosophy huh? Everything was well thought
You need INTPs))
Or ENFPs ☺️
@@disablopusher2295 the problem i had (female INTP) when i crushed on (male INTJ), is that both of us ended up being too "cold" 😂 we're good mind-sparring partners to talk about insight and perspective but no one is warming up to romance. we are still best friends and can count on each other for discussion, but no romance my case 😂. i am with INFP male now, and his little adorable doings brings up my romantic side unexpectedly
. maybe its just me but it seems INTP needs some warmth to catalyst our caring side (but still comfortable enough that it doesn't exhaust or irked us).
I am ENFP with an INTJ bf and we understand each other and get along pretty well✌✌✌
same things are my partner's have😅. She liked lonlyness, but still she loves me, I fell that. Yes, she is not talkative, she can't explore her all feeling, but she wants to be with me. I'm very lucky to have she in my life. She is my best friend & girl friend both. She promised me that she will never leave me😊. After watching this video I respected her sensitivity❤.... Thank you @FrankJames❤
I just discovered your videos and I want to say thank you. I never understood what my deal was …thought I had social anxiety disorder turns out I’m just an introvert. Every video I watch sounds like you’re talking directly to me. Thank you so much
Same bro ...
I'm very introverted. I like to date people who are just slightly more extroverted than me. But unfortunately...they usually want to date people more extroverted than themselves too.
As an ambivert, I wanna be the extrovert and my partner to be the introvert 🥺👉🏾👈🏾
@@darthvader1793 focus on building your careers and positive hobbies, then you'll feel more confident in yourself. Don't have negative screen names like "i dont matter". When you catch yourself saying negative things to yourself in your head, stop and say something positive.
@@humayranasita7953 i am( im the extroverted and hes the introverted) its interesting i promise!
don't worry... there will be someone out there... it just takes time sometimes 🤗
After dealing with some quite impulsive extroverts, I’m really leaning more towards some serious introvert energy in my next relationship.
I've just watched your video "beating social anxiety" so I'm doing my first little step - leaving my first public comment here XD.
So thank you, you're doing an amazing job and helping me lot. I can relate to every word you say. Thank you so much. You're the best❤️❤️❤️
That's great continue to take those little steps every step counts.
You’re doing the right thing - small steps is everything. It sets you up for success. Good luck from a fellow small step person :)
Good on you. A year on I hope you've taken several more little steps since and become less anxious for finding the world is still as intact.as its always been.
My husband understands why I need my space, he respects how much I need it and most of all, he protects my space from others. And he is an extrovert. I adore him. So dear fellow introverts, miracles do exist, do not settle for less, there will be a partner who will defend your introvert rights for you.
About the sensitive thing you literally hit the nail on the head, literally I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been on a family trip (where there’s a lot of people - obviously not recently) for the day when I’m actually having a good time (cause I’ve had time to prepare mentally 👍) but someone else gets into an argument or gets annoyed for a second and my mood just goes completelyyy downhill, even when everyone else forgets about it 😣 I actually can’t get over it cause I’m stuck with these same people for the next two hours
“Let me enable you, you beautiful shut-in.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Introverts get partners? I must've missed the memo - INTJ
What is INTJ INFJ ?
@@dany9276 Thank you so much. Although I already found out what it was. I searched some videos on personality tests and think that I'm ISFJ. Still I'm not satisfied with this. I believe that I'm not perfectly ISFJ. I know I'm introvert so I'm sure I is there. But i get confused between S/N T/F P/J.
@@dany9276 Thank you. I used this site to find my personality. The result showed that I have INFP-T type of personality.
@@anuragsosa Me too. Welcome to the INFP-T Club. We arrange gatherings/meetings and none of us show up. Strangely it’s because we all have dead grandmothers but that doesn’t bother us.
@@rRevilo64 That's so true. I always make excuses whenever something is decided 😅.
There must be someone compatible out there, we just need to work on finding them.
Agree, they really won't appear in your living room out of thin air 😉 Personnally I hated the process of using a dating app (Bumble) in the beginning of the pandemic but convinved myself to try it, as meeting someone in-person was much less likely than usual. I've found someone amazing and we've been dating for 7 months now ❤️
Yeah it’s not going well I basically just give up at this point. I’ll just get a dog 🐕
I think you have to look for the extroverts. There’s a lot of relationships with two introverts , but I see more relationships successful with extrovert-introvert. In public they can seem both extroverted but they’re I’s and E’s in reality. The thing is most extroverts don’t want a long term relationship with a fellow extrovert. They just don’t work (experience talking and from what I’ve seen). It’s more common for introverts to be together. But you have to use the fact (yes I’ll go that far) that extroverts want introverts to see that there’s a big potential dating pool out there. If you think someone likes you a lot, play it cool and they will be at your mercy. But hey problem is you have to like them back I guess lol.
Finding them means...coming outside..oh hell no.
Step 1 : Go socialize on something you like. Anything where you can meet people is fine.
Step 2 : Talk. No you can't avoid that.
Step 3 : ???
Step 4 : Profit!
Glad that you pointed out No.7. This introvert/extrovert scale thing really is important to find the right partner! For example, I’m INFP and I find ENFP and ENFJ are good match as they are slightly more extroverted but still calm and somewhat reserved.
No one understands the introverts more than this fella❤️
I agree most people just don't get it but I make no apologies I'm just me but I think in relationships going out with an extrovert is too much. I wouldn't mind dating an introvert that's just a little more out going than I am but I won't be the one to constantly hold his hand while he gets his Xtra verted side going.
INFJ: I need someone who has a solid identity
Omg this hurts it’s so true
ixxp's generally. They're the most solid ppl on identity. Because they're Fi or Ti doms. If that's what you meant 😹😹😹
That sounds interesting. Do you mind elaborating?
YAS
@@tsnevtbl cognitive functionvise identity is related to introverted deciders (introverted feeling, or introverted thinking) and ixxp's are introverted decider dominants(their first function is Fi or Ti). They have hard time relating to people because their extroverted decider(extroverted feeling, or extroverted thinking {aka the tribe or the ppl function}) is their inferior function(4th function). That's why they'll be hard and sometimes can even be stubborn on their identity.
An ixtp is a Ti dom and an ixfp is Fi dom.
:=D
I started to comment "I need someone who can give me space" but then the video started and I realised its the first thing one the list😂 love you FJ please make more videos about introverts! And congrats on 500k subs💙
Im an ENFP and I often make introverts friends,,,, I literally love, respect and appreciate their qualities and they're all I need emotionality and intelectually.
You sound like a healthy ENFP! Awesome.
Another ENFP who loves introverts! (Married to an INTJ.) I think we go together like bread and butter.
I'm an INFJ and I was married to an ENFP, I also work with two. We can talk for hours. They inspire me to risk and laugh more, I tone them down and organize little things, e.g. find everyday objects they leave absolutely everywhere and forget about :D I think our types are quite compatible.
Since we ENFPs are so independent, I think that helps a lot with introvert relationships. We have NO problem giving someone space if we get our space, too... but us getting space might mean going out with friends 😉
ENFPs adopting an introvert into a social circle is always fun, and is often unpredictable to me (ISTP here).
They often go on their wild tangents and leave me with my personal space, but they'll always come remember to come back. Win-win!
Basically, introverts are SELF-FOCUSED and don’t need ANYONE actually. It’s exhausting trying to “service” all the introvert’s needs and sensitivities.
Agreed. It's like 'be a tool for them, and don't expect nothing in return'. No thanks, I like to be with people who wants to be with me.
I'm really glad he said that for number three. Processing the world at a deep level. Small talk being exhausting.
It's also neat how he talked about introverts not talking much. I like how he enjoys talking about things that he faces every day. I get so talkative when it's about personality type or my introvertedness.
I love your channel. Growing up in a big loud family thats very outgoing, it was a challenge for me as the quiet one. After hearing people ask me if im ok all throughout my life made me question myself alot. Now being older i view it more as a strength than weakness. So i laugh and just appreciate how accurate your videos are. 🙌
Living in a family of noisy, outgoing people is always going to grind your gears when you’re the reserved type but family’s always family. There’ll be times when they really irritate you but so long as they’re not toxic they will be receptive to the boundaries you set with them (as an adult) after a while.
My SO is an introvert. He is way more introvert than me. He did say “I like that we both just like to stay at home” but he also told me “you’re more extroverted than me”. I do think that I become the more extrovert one when I’m with him. I’d want to be with him constantly although we’re not doing anything. Just enjoying the quiet time. No talking, just enjoy each other’s presence. And that is the best thing of this relationship.
But yeah, the need of alone time is no joke 😂 it is a non negotiable thing
Great video Frank ! for me having space, deep talks & someone who'd understand that i'm naturally sensitive are extremely important to sustain any relationship ! (including friendships )
Deep conversations. That is what gets me in social situations. People generally flow from one topic to another and if something peaks my interest and I start thinking about it when I become aware of my surroundings again I am totally lost to the current conversation and it takes time to figure out what they are talking about now and sometimes I never catch up and I get lost in thoughts of how did they go from Star Wars to rabbit food.
Thats great! I’m an introvert/extrovert so I tend to prefer being with an introvert. Extroverts are just too much for me!
I'm in a distant relationship with another introverted girl, we're both INFPs, I just spent the weekend with her and now I'm crying in the train back home because I already miss her.
You just perfectly described my situation. Woah. What a coincidence
Adorable♡
i want to meet another INFP irl😭
Nononono my heart already hurts from reading that... two infp s in a long distance relationship....uof... i hope everything works out for you guys
Awwww. I love you too little princess...
Before I knew I was introverted or even before I knew being intro/extro was a thing, I thought something was wrong with me. I thought I was supposed to be outgoing and energetic and always doing something etc. What a relief to know who I am is perfectly fine. 🙂
There are different types of quiet. I can't be the only one who can tell this. I have to keep telling my Dad that just because I'm quiet when he's driving me somewhere doesn't mean something I have a problem. I don't have something to verbalize 24/7. Sometimes a girl just to be quiet and be in deep thought.
"I do my thing, you do your thing"
Her: Socializing.
Me: Sleeping.
I was listening to RUclips as I usually do at bedtime and this video just randomly started and made me sit up and listen. My partner needs to hear this. I am an Introvert and I really need for my partner to listen to this also because I’ve been trying to explain to him everything that’s right here in this awesome video. Maybe he’ll understand me better if he hears someone else. I really hope so anyways 💯💖‼️
As an INTJ i only wants someone that doesn't judge my behavior & why i hate intimacy & doesn't force me on doing it until i'm comfortable 😕
Eeeyyy sameeee
I'm also an intj btw
@@TheContemplativeSoul.18 I : Introvert
N: Intuitive
T: Thinking
J: Judging
@@TheContemplativeSoul.18 it stands for
I introvert
N intuitive
T thinking/logical
J judging
@PestoMayo not all INTJs are the same but yeah maybe she's mistyped
Intj, too. But I know that i am demisexual what describes your explaination accurate. Ever mentioned this?
Back in school, a lot of people seemed to hate me
(Especially boys, I still don't know why)
But I was just quiet and shy, I wasn't mean or anything...
I just couldn't talk, I couldn't, I was to afraid to do anything wrong.
And so they ignored me and talked about me, how weird I am...
Those years had been awful.
At least ur being yourself and ur not weird
Me also introvert and my best friend is music and animal
Same with me but I'm a guy and the girls tended to hate me for it... Or they'd just act extremely sympathetic as if there was something wrong with me.
INFJ here! My current partner, who is an ENFP, hits all of these points. Very blessed to have someone who understands an introvert. Find someone who is patient and willing to listen. But also someone who can challenge your norms. INFJs hate change. But having someone you trust that encourages a little change, it can be easier to handle.
I’m just watching this video because I’m bored and binge watching RUclips and Netflix but then there’s people that will take this video and apply it to every single introvert there is.
It is important to not let something be a blanket statement people have many variables that determine how reclusive or outgoing they are.
I'm an introvert (INFP), in a relationship with someone even more introverted than me. It is indeed exhausting to be responsible for our social life, to the point that I gave up. I have friends and activities outside of the home, and I offer him to come knowing everytime he'll say no I'll be going alone. Living with such a radical introvert has helped me understand how extroverts feel around me
Thanks for making so much content on introverts and extroverts (and using humor)! It feels like a really helpful topic for people to understand! Also certain trauma can at times I feel make people appear and behave more introverted than they are.
I feel like Frank James might be an introvert, who is speaking, through a video, to a partner (possibly ex) about what they could/should’ve done.
I’m a shut in.
If I don't get my alone time I will literally have a mental breakdown. We once went on a weekend trip with the school and by the end I had completely lost it!!
I start laughing hysterically at *anything* an then become chaotic
OMG the things you said about introverts are SOOO CORRECT!!! i am an introvert and need just that kind of things and are just like that !!!
Same I love my independence and that clingy is such a turn off
Yeah, there's no chance of me finding a partner. I'd need to leave the house first. Also there are waaay too many narcissists out there. 😕
Find a group to be in. I was like that, alone for 27 years. Then I joined a group of really cool people, and 3 months later I had a girlfriend. I'm INTP she is INTJ.
@Kaiser Wilhelm Was busy enough with my studies, but yeah it was sad
@@Pietrosavr Thanks Peter, I have 3 really close friends but hopefully when the lockdown is lifted I can go out more. Thanks for your reply. ☺👍
I feel the same way. We should set up an online site for introverts
Well you explained pretty much everything about my last relationship that didn’t work 😅
Haha oh dear
Hey introverts, sounds like you need an ENTP in your life
> We'll handle the public social interactions
> We love stimulating intellectual conversation and topics
> We are the introverts of the extroverts, so we too value our alone time
> We have endless ideas of things to do and explore to help you expand your horizons
These are pretty spot on. GOD Bless You.😊 Going into separate rooms to cool down before talking after an argument is a good idea for everyone though.
Where were you all my life???!! I'm 100% an introvert and have learned so much about myself through this video! Seriously all of my pleasant and horrifying experiences flashed in my mind and now make sense! Thank you so much! Now, if can just play this for everyone in my world!
#3,4 &6 really hit home
The perfect introverted couple is literally "You are the perfect person for me to be alone with"💛
But like 'alone alone' you know...
Exactly
I enjoyed this topic , i dislike people coming into my private space as they have a mind, i don't like it.
I miss Frank calmly rambling to us in the dark by his bed
I am married to a fellow introvert, so that kind of works out with understanding each other, though we see the world from different angles.
I think dating an extrovert would only really work, if that person was okay with having their social life on their own, while I do my alone-time-hobbies. My introvert husband and I also don't have a lot of hobbies in common, but spend time separately. Or alone together sort of arrangement.
My ex needs to see this, he never understood & I had to walk away from our 6years old relationship
This vid is so bang on. As an introvert, I really appreciate this dude and his vids.
It sucks being in a family of extroverts, when I am way too quiet as a person.
It's funny because some time last week there was a question something like "if I would be in a relationship with you from now on, what is the first thing / most important thing I would need to know?" and the first thing that popped into my head was "I need space" :D
Which makes it understandable how I have come "so far" in life without missing a romantic relationship :D
As an INFJ, I would add #8: We hate friction/tension/stress in a relationship. We need to be with someone who’s on the same page on issues that are important to us. Otherwise, there will be a lot of tension and stress between the two, and any important communication will be severely limited due to the introvert not wanting to deal with the same arguments over and over again with there not being any way to resolve them.
Hey INTJ fellow
I agree,as an INFJ female.
I dunno. I personally think any person that thrives on and gets a high off of drama is just very immature and insecure
Oooommmgggg so true I cannot stand it when trying for a relationship I get annoyed when people think I'm quiet it means I'm mad when it actually makes me mad when people think that
I am EXTREMELY blessed that my husband is, according to several online tests, 54% extrovert and 46% introvert. With me being 97% introvert he is able to not only understand my need for alone time, but also when I need to be gently encouraged to join the outside world for a bit. ❤️