How To Create And Use Mini Routines (Autism, ADHD, Chronic Illness)
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- How to create and use mini routines, and rhythms.
After trying to stick to a structured daily routine and finding it hard because of my autism, ADHD and invisible disability I found a new way to add structure with lots of flexibility. So I'm sharing my system, the benefits and how to create your own rhythm and mini routines to guide you through the day.
This way of structuring my day has helped me to reduce overwhelm and overload. As well as helping me to be more able to consistently meet my goals.
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The routine restlessness is so real 😭 I can love a routine for two days, struggle with it the third day and then on the fourth day it's like physically painful.
When I heard you say “a short recap incase I used too many words” I was so excited 😂 I had just grabbed my notebook and was gonna trace back through the video to take notes. Thanks!
This seems ideal. My life has so many variables it is so hard to maintain routines
Same! 😂❤
Autism ddlg abdl age regression little space my channel is ddlg
Same@@Jaseyrae213
3:15 is me at work. I do too much at once and hate myself after work because I burn out
The simple idea of writing down what you want from each week is just..idk so simple and yet I never thought to do it
Late diagnosed age 59 (4 y ago) - Do others also find they are unaware of their traits and still recognizing them? As Ella talks about her traits, I realize what traits I have. I've been in such denial all my life. It was probably a way to cope all these years. Thank you Ella...
I feel this, and I was diagnosed with ADHD in childhood, but it wasn't really recognized or contextualized properly. I got a lot of lip service and superficial understanding in the form of people giving me tools and readings, but nobody connected my lived experience with the diagnosis, so a lot got lost. I later got diagnosed with Autism and initially assumed that this explained most of these gaps, and this was true to a large extent - but as I've gotten older, I've realized that my ADHD caused a lot more than I understood, and my Autism mostly impacted my resilence because my emergency support (social) networks were weak and relied heavily on me overperforming - especially in the classroom - my 'goodness' and eagerness (which was, for obvious reasons, exhausting).
I ended up developing a contentious, trauma-based relationship with a lot of the very tools that *actually do help me* when I use them - because they were originally handed to me by adults who didn't understand me and were keeping me in (by trying to help me through) a school system that was destroying me.
(Edited for clarity.)
I’ve had a similar experience even though I’m *very* young (around 14-15). When I was diagnosed, I thought adhd was simple, that it just meant i talked loud and was hyperactive. But as I met people with adhd and connected with the adhd community online, I realized that it impacted every part of my life.
Things that I used to hate about myself for not understanding were suddenly made easier to deal with. I wasn’t stupid, or dumb, or immature, none of those traits were my fault. It’s just that no one prepared me for dealing with them, or even recognizing them.
@@kel7742 I'm very happy for you that you did not have to carry the shame, guilt and all the other baggage around for all your life. Have fun being you and you will give many gifts to the world!!
Autism ddlg abdl age regression little space my channel is
@@habituscraeftigThank you for sharing your experience. Could you expand on the tools for clarity? Tool used (causing trauma) and what you found helpful instead. Thank you.
This is the first time I’ve seen a schedule system explained that didn’t make me feel anxious and would actually work for me!!!! I didn’t think that I would ever find one!!! Thank you SO MUCH for breaking this down ❤
1:00: “As an ADHDer, I started to feel agitated and restless because I had to do the same thing over and over again.”
DUUDE, I swear to God, that crap happens WITHOUT FAIL for me.
Okay, getting back to the video.
Edit: Welp, liking this to save for future use.
Came back to this video to say that implementing naps into my busy life as a graduate student is one of the greatest changes I’ve made to help me adjust.
I’ve also designated night time as study hours because this is what works for ME.
I would love to see an example of your document to know how to draw one up myself. Also, I very much appreciate the short summary as I did admittedly drift off a bit mid-video. Thank you for posting this content.
This seems like a great method of organisation! Thank you for sharing Ella :)
As another autistic ADHDer, I find sticking to daily routines almost impossible, especially because I rebel against any routines I set myself 😅 This made study time (or homework time) during school and college extremely difficult as I knew I would only do my homework if it was an unplanned activity in my day. I never liked the feeling of 'having' to do something, and as I have time blindness, I never really knew when was a good time anyway 😬 I'm a bit less chaotic as I get older, but I still find obligations really hard, even when I set them myself! I suspect I have PDA too.
Yay! This seems like a good idea. A little more flexibility and resiliency than trying to have a total routine, I think its perfect! Just a little tricky to work on implementing but it seems like it will be sustainable as an approach once we get it going. Thanks for another great video Ella!
Totally agree.
Autism ddlg abdl age regression little space my channel is
I feel like I need to bookmark this video for future reference, cause it might come in handy when I (hopefully) get to the point of sorting my life out in a more structured way.
Hey! Hope as is well! This is your reminder to come back to this video :)
@@Xnkta Thank you for the reminder. Unfortunately, I'm still in burnout. It's been over year and a half now, so I'm trying to reduce my workload and avoid stress as much as possible.
Hope you are well.
Thanks Ella. I'm struggling with getting things done and forming routines i can keep to. I will try these. I'm still learning about my energy levels so sometimes the end of day just becomes too hard and I collapse in a heap. So many healthy strategies (and unhealthy, ineffective ones to relinquish) to learn now I understand why life has been so horribly difficult for me. Autism dx end of March at 59yo.
I like the flexibility of this kind of routine building.
The idea of planning what i need to do for a week , then having a plan of what i need to achieve each day on a daily basis is perfect for me
I tried planning tasks days in advance but when that day comes and any change occurring sets me off completely
Thank you for the great tips
Love this! I’m AuDHD and I have pretty set morning and night routines which I love, but I always find myself spinning in circles not knowing what to do with myself in the middle of the day
Thanks for this Ella! I kind of do some of this already but I love seeing it all laid out so succinctly; it's really helpful. My ADHD wrecks my routines because after a while they feel like a good idea in theory but a prison in the moment. I think the way you've tied it all together is brilliant!
Any advice for demand avoidance and routines? Sometimes I find it so hard to do the things I know are good for me; even things I want to do. I know I should and could and I even want to but *can't* if that makes sense
Reduce as many barriers and steps as you can. For example: I keep a kid's sized toothbrush - it's more comfortable to use - in a cup on the bathroom counter so I can brush my teeth at lunch or dinner time, instead of constantly forgetting at bedtime because I'm all out of spoons/energy. This eliminates the physical discomfort barrier and the end of day exhaustion barrier. I also only buy precut fruits and vegetables, or they'll never make it on to my plate.
Autism ddlg abdl age regression little space my channel is
Thank you SO SO much for this!!! I’ve tried to do various routines, but can’t do a time-based ones because I have chronic health conditions and never know when a flareup might happen and throw me off-track. I’ve needed something that’s more event-based versus time-based and that has flexibility and this is perfect. I think I’ve already been doing some of this, but not putting it in a bigger picture framework.
Also, I’m very happy to come across your channel! As someone with ADHD, possibly ASD, and chronic and often unpredictable health conditions, it’s often a struggle to manage and cope with all of these and the uncertainty that comes with them. I’ve felt some shame at how easy it is for me to get thrown off track. It’s hard not to feel like a failure for not being able to accomplish what I wanted and PLANNED to do and couldn’t due to flare ups.
This is all still newish territory to me in that I used to be so healthy, I’d never miss a day of school for years, but my life has taken a different turn and I have a new “normal”. I’m so happy that there are options for people like me that want to get things accomplished, but have to work within physical, etc. limitations.
THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! ❤🙏🏻❤🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻☺️
Perfect timing for this - thank you Ella. I am currently having a big declutter and creating mini-routines that automate a lot of my week. I also have ADHD and my energy levels and focus go up and down. I've found that printing out my calendar schedule so I can see the time laid out visually really helps, but only if I keep the detail to a minimum. I am toying with the idea of adding choosing what I will wear for the next day to my evening routine so the morning flows much better too. Probably rather than planning my day in the morning, it is easier for me to review the day I've had and plan the night before.
This is so incredibly helpful, I’m also neurodivergent and chronically ill and have really struggled to find something that works for me. Really excited to try this out, thank you!!!
Thank you purple Ella! My anxiety is so much better when I have a routine because I am sleeping better. Sleep health is so important!!!
Thank you so much for this! Your explanation was so clear and helpful! I can't wait to improve my routine so that I can stick to it more easily. 💚💙💜❤
My comment is late, because I have always worked and that has provided my structure. I have been retired this year and went into a major depression because I became totally overwhelmed. My adhd and autism are just the way I am. ( autism diagnosis was a couple of years ago to none of my friends surprise, I am 70. Found your channel and some others but yours sounds workable because the only reason I retired was my disabilities from other diseases started becoming handicaps.😂 I could no longer work a full ten hour shift four days a week.😐your plans are the first that include flexibility for days when the migraine hits and the myasthenia gravis is obnoxious and naps are a priority 😊
Yes! Thank you thank you! I don’t know why mini routines never crossed my mind. I have ADHD and autism, so this should be a good way for me to start getting a routine together!
Thank you Purple Ella❤❤❤❤❤ One of my morning routines is rocking from the time after waking up to either for majority of the mornings on my days off my job or before work…^_____
This is so much more helpful than all the content I've seen on routines. I know that routines are beneficial but I don't have a fixed schedule so I was freaking out already over the idea of planning a routine when I know that on Thursdays, I need to be out of the house at 6:30 AM but on Tuesdays, I wouldn't be getting home until 3 AM. The idea of creating a routine that I then either dump on one or two days was stressing me out, and the idea of having a routine that allows for both... well, three hours of sleep is not going to cut it for me routinely. This idea of having a routine in place but to make it easily fit a more varied schedule without feeling stressed about "failing" the routine before even starting is a lot more manageable. I'll try to keep mine as simple as possible to allow for "I have fifteen minutes to get ready" vs. "I want to have a relaxing free day with a slow start" but for the first time in a while, I'm actually excited about trying to implement a routine rather than feeling anxious and stressed about it.
This is so great! I have only just learned I am AuDHD, but my whole life has been boom and bust! This video has been really helpful with figuring out how to harness routines, as I've NEVER been able to stick to them! Thanks so much!
I related to this so much!
I also have Autism & ADHD, and am a parent to 3 neurodivergent kids.
I have really struggled with reaching a happy medium of structure for consistency, but flexibility for reality.
It makes sense to me, seems doable, and won’t fall to pieces the minute something (doesn’t) go as planned, or unexpectedly gets dropped my lap/day.
I was already thrilled before the extra bonus of that lovely recap!
Subscribed, liked, and intending to share to others I feel can find it helpful also.
Thanks very much xx ❤
Timestamps ✨
3:29 - Bookend routines
4:33 - Anchor points
5:30 - Rest periods
6:05 - Creating time blocks
7:27 - Recap
Bless you for this.
Thank you Ella. This is really helpful. I'm struggling with a routine due to chronic pain and fatigue, so any schedule goes out the window on flare up days. For me, this approach has the flexibility I need to manage me every day. 💜
Do you have fybromyalgia
Wow, this is pure gold!
In the past I’ve tried every which way to form habits and found that only routines stick, but I’ve struggled SO hard to get enough routines in for the structure that I crave without getting bored/going crazy.
Super excited to test this out and see what other magic tips you’ve got on your channel~!
So much self awareness. Your channel is truly so helpful and excellent thank you for sharing your tips with us
Thank you. Through your video I fell less lonely and misunderstood. I have done the first triage for adult autism assessment, but I have been told that I will have to wait one year in order to see the panel and being assessed 😞
That's really interesting. I've come to realise that a lot of my problems are caused by alexithymia. I already know how to do the things that make me feel better but fail to use them because I don't know how I'm feeling in the moment. I'm thinking that a routine would work better as it will take away the need for awareness and set myself up for less overwhelm 🙏
I love this Simplicity by planning and it is taking care of yourself. Love it I am going to create a book too.
Weirdly, i am messy with my room, but when it comes to my coat hangers (They are grey and blue) i like for them to be grey, blue, grey, blue etc with the end of the hock facing away.
Thank you so much for sharing this! this is exactly what I need right now. I've been trying to create routines/daily schedules so many times, but I always get overwhelmed because what if I miscalculate how long things take, or I have no energy at that time, or something else comes up... so the system of adding anchorpoints that are not tied to a specific time in the day is super helpful!
Shoot...almost everyday is a flare day.
Thank you Ella...you've been more help to me than you know...I think that your suggestions will help me to get back on track...I've been derailed for long enough...
thankyou again, and love to the family💌💕🌷
Thank you thank you. I finally found someone that has similar issues to me! I am so glad i found this video.
This is genius. Thank you ❤❤❤
I have really been struggling with this sort of thing and your video has helped me SO much. I've been in an endless cycle of trying to get everything under control & struggling to keep to it due to feeling so overwhelmed and or getting quickly fed up with the same routine all the time so I inevitably get off track. Mini routines and anchor points is the solution I've been looking for, THANK YOUUU :)
Thank you so much. This is perfect to get started with. I’ve been lost for so long on how to do this. I can’t thank you enough
I related to this video so much, I am very laid back and when tasks get (paused) I dont know what to do next and my entire day is ruined i am left trying to think of what to do and it ends up being totally counter productive and making me get a headache from the routines not working on, super frustrating! But thank you for clarifying my situation this really helped!
Brilliant! I've always wondered why a "normal" routine wouldn't work for me... I guess it was never about trying to make it work, but instead trying to find something that works for me!
This was so helpful! I’ve been stressing out about how to organize my life and I didn’t know where to start. I’m hoping that I can use your tips to be more productive and reduce how much burnout I experience :,(
This is actually useful! Thank you :)
I would love to see a chart or graph or a visual 😭
This will definitely help me! As a austism and adhd person who have a hard time keeping up with hygiene.
You are amazing!!! 😭😭😭😭 Life has been soooo hard… Rythmes and Anchors true my day!!!
Yeah, that's audhd for you. I absolutely crave the stability and productivity of a routine. I absolutely hate actually having the routine.
I think that smaller routines are the way to go. I've been trying to make them small enough to fit on index cards and then laminate the card if it's something that I'm going to use a lot. I can use a dry erase marker or paper clip to keep track of where I am if I need to breakaway. It seems to work well, and I can use my printer to print text or pictures on the cards.
Great video! My cat found the cat meow distracting.
Great video! Thanks!
why: give a sense of comfort and control but with a flexibility (not following a clock, only a rythm)
how: anchor points > blocks of time
waking up-breakfast
breakfast-lunch
lunch-
I'm starting to use this now. Hopefully I'll be able to stick to it a bit better!
This helped me so much. Thank you.
Oh my goodness I think we are twin sisters!!! And for YEARS I have tried to have "down time" after dinner then start wrapping things up at 7. This is so hard and rarely works.
You opened my eyes to something that I got so excited I replayed it: to do shower/personal care after dinner, Pj's and a lovely cup of tea. YIPEE!! I think this will work. How exciting is this? And why in the world did I not see that option before?? Thank you so much.
PS I have ADHD and need slower paced days due to the same as you but struggle with making my days slower. I wonder if you have a video on planning or creating slower paced days. Hugs and a warm cup of tea to you!
Omg this is amazing! I downloaded tiimo and I tried creating a good schedule but I was never able to adhere to it. Now I'll try flexible routines, seems very optimal and I can see how things go on the same day and allow for adjustments
Maybe silly question but did you invent this? This is great thank you so much. (If you did, your book can make you a fortune, just saying;)
I hate the routines that I crave !!
Really useful! Thank you - you just got a new follower ❤
I felt you were speaking to me.
You are so similar to me that I felt we are twins 😂
I found this a bit confusing, but I appreciate your work. I'll use it as a prompt for my own routine
This video is exactly what i needed thank yoh
Really liked this video, thank you Ella. I'm a little bit confused with the anchor points though. I got the one where you said 'anchor point is after the morning routine' because I get that that means your anchor point is being ready to start the day. But I'm a little lost with the other ones...
I think her anchor points are: getting out of bed in the morning, lunchtime, the end of the work day, and dinner. After each anchor point there's a routine.
@@helenm1085 ohhh okay that makes sense. Thanks so much :)
i’m not gonna lie… It almost made me want to cry how helpful this was. Seriously. I’m 24, so I might be young, but after being in an abusive relationship, I have developed PTSD on top of my already diagnosed ADHD. And the mixture of the two has been absolutely positively brutal. trying to grow into an adult, and feeling so far behind everyone else, because the trauma set me back emotionally/mentally so far. And just the way that you spoke and broke everything down in the video, you can tell how conscious you are to make things much more comprehensible for people that are neurodivergent. I’ve done a lot of research online of how to create routines for ADHD and such. But literally none of them have been helpful. And the worst part is I couldn’t even really tell you exactly why they weren’t helpful… They just weren’t. But this is the first thing that I have found, and all of the time I’ve been searching for a sort of guide or playbook on how to create this for myself. Thank you so so so much for taking time to create this for others to benefit from. Watching this and hearing about the things that you deal with remind me that I am not alone, and I am also not crazy or weird for having difficulty with this.
Love this! I can't wait to try it!
I have to have very specific routines or I will miss doing important things like brushing my teeth. Because I can’t both properly do one item and also think about what else I need to do, if I haven’t automated that I next take a bath, then while figuring out that I next need to take a bath I can’t properly floss because I’ve lost awareness of my flossing.
Thank you.
Does anyone know something I could use as an anchor instead of meals? My eating schedule is very chaotic I don’t always have three meals in a day and it’s often very random .
Thank you, this was very helpful. Do you have advice (or a video link) for people who work in corporate and are often at the mercy of meetings other people schedule?
Thank you very much 🙏 it is very helpful
Thank you Ella! ❤️ I want to implement exactly that! I was trying a couple of times but I still struggle with the concept of „what is too much?“. Like you I am autistic and ADHD and chronically ill (Arthritis since I am 3 Years old) and I don‘t know what to put in a daily routine, because if it isn‘t daily and it has to be done regularly I am not able to do it consistently. And if I am not doing it consistently I am constantly tending fires and my daily routine fades out of existence. I am eyeballing a list of things I have to to consistently where I have a short amount of time like 30 min. or so, where I can check if it has to be done ( think laundry, mail, paperwork, mowing the lawn, charge stuff, physical activity etc.) and then do it right away.
I’ve been doing this without even realising I was doing this.
This is so helpful thank you ❤
This is excellent, thank you!
this is genius! thank you so much
Just my first initial thoughts, there are already so many steps involved it seems impossible to even figure out a routine, I don’t think I stand a chance 😅😂
🔥🔥🔥
This is wonderful and I have successfully implemented this in the past however I also get bored with my mini rotines and I don't know what to do about it
So grateful
What activities should you do during anchor points? Should they change often?
Hi love, could you put something on the screen or something if you have a sound effect like you did with the cat? I thought it was a sound in my house and made me jump 😂❤❤❤
Me too i was filing my nails then almost jump out of my chair with that sound effect
Me too! My heart was about to leap out of my throat!
Like I can’t write down what I want from each week, I have no clue what I want from each week. I don’t even know what I want from each day. If you have any tips from my standpoint right now, it would be super appreciated because I’m extremely stuck over here
this was super helpful :)
This is the only thing that works for me. I was diagnosed early this year. Along with my christian faith too.
Actually helpful!!!
Hi Ella! I find your videos really helpful and thank you for uploading! Do you by any chance have a template of your routine document anywhere? I'd like to make my own based off yours x
Would love to see your document as an example
Great video
Can you give an example of a mini routine? I looked it up and it didn’t make sense.
I like all of this but have issues making a planner part. I do my best but I can't make it work without a real schedule which I can't seem to do for myself :(
Please would you mind sharing your template? Would be so grateful 🙏🏻
Do u like Doctor Who/the thirteenth doctor? I am also an AUDhder and i am a big fan 😅
7:30
how are these "mini routines" any better though? it sounds to me like they are still doing the same things in the same order every single time. AKA still painfully boring? how are these in any way different from a regular routine exactly. I really don't get it this sounds awful, am I missing something here?
I think they're mean to to be digestible and short so that you can do them and get them iver with instead of having a rigid structure for the entire day
I can't stick to set routines tbh
Then why not just try one once a day?...💕
I don't understand these kind of videos. They should say they don't have the responsibility to follow a strict routine. I start work at 7.30 and I don't have any say about that.
I feel so heard. 🥹
Finally, somoene gets it. That feeling. AND THE DAMN SOLUTION.