I watched this with my 9 year old son. He is on the spectrum and has ADHD. When you said your brain feels like a cat and dog having a disagreement, his face lit up and he said "Yeah!" He was so excited to see an adult who has meltdowns.
Routines ... yes. I feel that very much. I can have a superb routine, even for a long time, and then, one day to the other - poof, it's gone. Or I have a favourite thing / hobby / food and want nothing else - and then suddenly it's boring and I don't want it any more. I am learning to live with it, not trying to force something but just accept that things change and will come back at a later time, but it still annoys me. Also wanting to do all the things with my ADHD brain, whilst my ASD brain is already dreading the next step... I wish you good rest from your meltdown!
One big issue with the hobbies is that if it's something that requires a big investment, and then you do all that and are super excited, and then poof, it's gone... Depending on the hobby, you might be able to sell the stuff and get some of the money back, but yeah... Even before knowing of my AuDHD I already knew this is my pattern, so I've held back on huge investments on new hobbies, but even after a long time you can't tell if the hobby will be gone the next week or still there after 20 years. It's not even like "Ugh, I'm fed up with this", but just like I just don't return to the hobby, I pretty much forget that it even ever existed. And indeed, old hobbies may do a comeback, but chances are the equipment for it is gone bad, no longer fitting or has become obsolete. It is kind of funny, too, like every time I update my CV I'll also need to update my list of hobbies. And I also realized that I am a little bit like this with friends. "ZOMG best friends ever" and then at some point I realize I haven't been in touch with that person in two years. And again, nothing against that person, something just came along and I just forgot about their existence.
@fintux I'm kinda the same way. Seeing it written here makes me feel awful, though. 😢 I know I'm FULL of empathy for others (sometimes toxically so) but these behaviors sure make us sound like horrible people. Speaking of how we can forget about people like we do with a hobby. It's no wonder most of us have trouble keeping friends or romantic relationships. I mean, I wouldn't be involved with me either if I wasn't stuck with me. 🫣 I hope that didn't sound like I was attacking you. I guess I'm attacking myself. Which isn't a good thing either but it seems to be a favorite pastime that I'd LIKE to lose. 😬
@@Sunnyflower67 No offense taken at all, don't worry! Of some of my best friends, I'm quite sure one is AuDHD and one has a confirmed ADHD diagnosis, and the good thing is that even if we haven't been in contact in a year, when we get back in touch, it's as if there was never any time in between. Maybe that could work for you as well? For me, the pandemic has been really a bad things considering friends, I got covid among the first people and have still not made a full recovery, so I've been isolating on purpose, too, but then I would like occasionally meet people with precautions, but it has been so difficult to start doing that on a regular basis.
Excellent video, thankyou Ella. I'm diagnosed autistic & awaiting ADHD assessment. It makes total sense of my contradictions! Your exciting teas selection sounds just like my tea & coffee station, 2 open shelf units, one with interesting tins for each tea variety, & one with my 'quirky mugs' collection, next to kettle.
The thing I’ve learnt over time it’s like having depression and anxiety at the same time. Only both are ramped up to 11, to quote Spinal Tap. They are polar opposite and a nightmare when both push through. I’ve also discovered that all of my masks dropped during the first lockdown when, even though I was working it, the reduction in noise and air pollution, being able to hear and smell nature take control. Now that has all eased, I’m struggling and I have forgotten how I coped. I love being able to talk about the natural world, my ADHD and autistic “special interest” work together on that when volunteering at Edinburgh Zoo! It’s a challenge, from the outside, when coping with it, it looks calm. On the inside, a minor upset, a wrong word or gesture and meltdown commences! When they synchronise, awesome happens, when they don’t huge meltdown! It’s a journey of extremes, buckle up and hold on!
Oh no. I hope working with my 5 year old will help keep her from feeling that way. I have suffered from depression and anxiety together. It is my greatest fear my child will feel that way. Fingers crossed her OT, ST,and Future ABA will help her learn coping skills early.
Hi Ella, thank you so much for making content on how ADHD and autism together can often conflict. There is a serious lack of content and research into this, I really struggle to find advice for how to manage both conditions 😢 I get very easily overwhelmed and overstimulated in work places, so I found a casual work from home job which is quite easy and simple, and guess what my ADHD now hates this job and I can’t stand how boring it is! It’s so difficult to find a manageable but interesting job!!
My ADHD roommate does data entry work from home and listens to videos and audiobooks on a Sony wireless headset that hugs both her ears to keep boredom from derailing her brain. She also finds going to do dishes for five minutes or to the mailbox on her break freshens body and mind - plus has a table next to her desk with a cat bed on it so kitty can keep her company without laying on the keyboard. 😆💜🐈🐾
@@gamewrit0058 thanks those are some good ideas! :) unfortunately I can’t concentrate if I have music/podcasts etc on :/ but I think I need to take more breaks or it just becomes too monotonous. I’ve also seen a lot of people talk about data entry work from home jobs but I can never find this type of work!! Haha
Hii, I’ve just recently figured out that I have both, and I’m not an adult or anything, so my advice might be useless but I figured i could as well try. I think a work from home job might be good, because you don’t actually have to restrain yourself to the office. If you’re feeling like it’s getting boring, you can decide to work from new and exciting places. For example a cafe, or a library, etc. New places can help me feel refreshed and excited, which then causes me to feel more motivated. If you don’t like the noise (in my case, the background noise others make helps me focus) you can put on headphones. I’d say that it might help to switch up something small about your work days every few days, like the location or the methods you’re using. Something that works for me too is to do something nice in my break, such as making an exciting drink. I tell myself that if I can finish something in, say, 30 minutes? I’ll have earned the drink. Sorry, I typed a lot 😅 but I hope it can help at least a little :)
@@ValerieSmith-wm3bp Absolutely helpful! Being an adult doesn't make them smarter. Sometimes it's just the opposite because we think we're smarter due to having more experience. Everybody's different after all. 😊
Thank you so much for filming on an off day. I’ve had a few off days lately and you speaking candidly makes me feel less alone. I too have instinctively developed mini-routines but I’m going to be more mindful and purposeful about them after watching this… I have too many allergies to make fun drinks anymore but I could buy new mugs! I’m an artists and switching up my art supplies is the best way I’ve found to get the dopamine hit without the overstimulation. Sometimes expensive but effective. Oh yeah and dancing! Which is free!
I went through a similar process of my ADHD usually winning out to my detriment and then trying to rein it in. I feel like I spend so much time focusing on protecting myself now that it has hurt my vitality and energy levels! It's really a process of muddling through and just trying to find anything that helps achieve some harmony, even if it only helps temporarily!
Diagnosed ADHD, suspect the ASD! I love your ideas about drinks! When I think about it, this is something I have unthinkingly jumped into because I have lots of drinks and drink supplies (syrups, teas, coffees, etc). The one about emotions hit me hard. It's the biggest thing I miss when I don't have medication - I feel things so strongly it's so overwhelming I feel insane sometimes. Medication calms that for me. It allows me to step back and be present in my discomforts instead of running to the good feelings. It's so hard! Most of my improvement comes from being able to actually "focus" on that. Thanks for your insight and thoughts into strategies in dealing with both. I hope things look up for you and wish you all the happy stims.
Yes! My ADHD medication helps me identify feelings, like hunger, and actually initiate a task to do something about it. Now, I can often say, oh, I feel awful because I need food and I can make toast - and actually accomplish that within minutes, instead of taking forever to realize I'm hungry, then delay that for another hour or more until meltdown. The first time I tried a Rx that worked for me (Focalin), I said aloud: Is this what executive function feels like? Do neurotypical people feel like this every day?! 💜
Bless you, Ella! “Just not today” has such resonance for me and I’m going to memorize that one. You may also have just answered my conundrum about why I don’t seem to be as rigid in routines as I hear I’m supposed to be...they change at intervals. I and my mother both chase/chased dopamine, and it’s one reason I talk so much, I can feel it raising my mood, but I’m realizing that my inner busy-mind ADHD chatter is my biggest source of sensory overload, which seems odd but there it is.
I've just had my ASD assessment and been told with confidence I have ADHD and autism (not got the official diagnosis yet but had two professionals say the same). This was a surprise to me, I'm trying to research AuDHD but also struggling to find info. I'm really trying to find some strategies to make life more manageable and this video has literally made my jaw drop - it's SO relatable and is full of things I've been naturally gravitating too already. Thank you for sharing!!
Hi Ella! I would just like to say that as a writer, my thought is that if my articles or books help just ONE person, I am happy - and this video is exactly what I needed today, so much that I want to cry from happiness. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! I'm going to rewatch this and take notes, and also definitely check out your mini routines video, because I have the exact same issue with routines. I hope you're feeling better!
Very helpful and thought provoking 🙂 Its given me some ideas for why certain things I've been trying work better than others but also why some things that often work suddenly don't... which feels particularly important. I really appreciate your candour as well. 💜💜💜
Yes! What a good idea for drinks and mini-routines! Recently diagnosed and now understand why I was “consistently inconsistent” yet also consistent….for a few weeks, then would be bored and need to create a new routine!
I was diagnosed with autism in 2020 and ADHD in 2021. I’ve been trying to find anything online that talks about having both. So thank you for uploading this. As you said there is little to nothing about having both, which is bizarre. I know of people with autism and people with ADHD, but I’m finding that having both sometimes pulls me in two completely separate directions. I was watching a piece the other day where someone suggested they ‘cancelled each other out” and I think they were talking about the difficulties in diagnosing both, not a day to day basis, coz as you’ll know they most definitely don’t, I find I’d anything it can be the reverse, as I say one wants one set of things, the other can want a totally contradicting set of things. One set of needs can make another set of needs even worse, If that makes sense. Harmonious it’s not. Anyways, thanks so much for doing this, so important to me. I do think a lot of autistic people are likely to have ADHD and the reverse is also true, I believe it’s just wrongly diagnosed and symptoms missed.
Thank you for helping other aspies know we're not alone! I have adhd and aspergers plus ocd! So I get bored easy and need to do something different a lot. I love hikes and kayaking with my dog. But then OCD is there to make everything look like a hazard! I just took my first road trip out of state a few years ago. Breaking out of my comfort zone is hard!! Meltdowns are everyday! I love how you explain this! Keep shining and I'll keep watching. ✨️
I love the samsung phone to do the video game and TV combo. I can open RUclips and games at the same time and I find that helpful to get more domamine stimulation.
Totally get the double stimulation thing. I do that a lot. I also found that I needed a daily routine, but I will change the order or add something different in there to satisfy both my ASD need for routine, and my ADHD needs for something new and exciting.
6:41 OMG... you are describing my life! (Diagnosed ADHD inattentive type in my late 30s, suggested (by a psychotherapist 2 years ago- after turning 50) that I might be on the spectrum- but I haven't yet persued a diagnosis. Thank you for making this video (even though I'm stumbling across it 2 years after you made it!).
I love your videos, keep doing you! Even the struggling provides me a lot of insight. We are all imperfect. Love to hear your coping strategies. I find them extremely helpful and eye-opening 🥰
I would always have a TV show playing in the background as I played games at an earlier age. Now it's playing a cozy game with Lofi. Sad part is though is if I am getting that excess stimulation and I get interrupted I'm far easier to get upset than I would be if I was just listening to lofi or just playing the game.
Thank you! I was diagnosed with Autism late in life - well, there were indications when I was a kid, but that's a long story - and only recently found out about the ADHD overlap that explains SO MUCH about how I operate. And I'm struggling hard, now that I know. I used to have this belief that I might be able to 'get better' or become more normal, and when that didn't happen... I slowly descended into a burnout that has lasted just... so long now. I'm now in a safe place and have been for several months, and things are slowly getting better, but I'm having such a hard time accepting myself as having this double diagnosis. I very recently had a meltdown where the maelstrom of worries, fears, stressors, and general anxiety in my life merged into a real self-hate moment where I sat pummeling my legs with my fists until the worst passed. Then I slowly calmed down in the dark of my bedroom, still wondering why it has to be this way. I mean... I'm 41, and I'm wondering how I'll be able to get back into normal life again after years of being broken down. It's been hard, but finding your channel has helped a great deal. And thank you for being real and honest about when you're struggling! It's so relatable and helpful!
This video seals it. I'm convinced I also have ADHD. I crave novelty and newness but get overwhelmed and can find it hard to manage emotions in certain situations. I get super restless even when I feel like I need to rest. I've actually been doing special drinks off and on for years now and it makes sense! I'll try to be more consistent with it. New and different drinks make me really satisfied and excited. Thank you so much for doing this video. It's really helped me focus on this aspect of myself. I'm self diagnosed ASD and now ADHD. I was fighting the ADHD because it's not super apparent in me. I always joked that my brain was constantly fighting itself. This feels right considering everything.
So glad I found your channel! After a 5yr wait since my initial assessment, I was NHS diagnosed as autistic back in June but it didn’t explain everything. Then I found out you can have both autism and adhd,and yes! This vid explains a lot of what I’ve been going through for the last half a century! Thank you for sharing! ❤
Thank you so much for having the courage to go out and be what you originally needed for others so that they would have what you didn't. I respect you so much for this!
I was so scared that people wouldn't understand that I really am autistic because I do the double stimulation thing too. I will listen to music or podcasts constantly while also indulging for hours on my special interest. I like to play outside with my son, but want to always be listening to music or podcasts while I do. Stimming also works best for me while watching or listening to something. I am starting to realize thanks to you that a lot of my differences from autism are ADHD not that I don't have autism. Thank you so much!
Thank you Ella you videos are very good when I watch them I am exactly the same. I have my adhd medicated now so I am much better my emotions are so much more balanced. I am waiting for a autism assessment unfortunately I can’t find any pre diagnosis help until a diagnosis
As someone who is diagnosed with ADHD and is now realizing that I’m likely autistic as well, this is so helpful. It can be so confusing trying to figure out which disorder is causing which traits!!
Wow, so very relatable. It’s not just adhd! I’ve just connected so many dots. I was diagnosed 2 years ago with adhd, at 33..but I have these other traits and tendencies that create a somewhat opposing dynamic. Making friends everywhere I go one day and then not wanting to do eye contact with anyone the next day. Perfection and safety seeking and also chaos seeking. Putting myself in all sorts of social situations only to become totally overloaded. I appreciate your insight. Wanting to
Hi Ella, I have a dual diagnosis like you and I’m so glad I found your video as you could be my emotional twin, its so uncanny. All your emotional up’s and downs, meltdowns and catastrophising resonate with me. Thank you for making these videos….Im no longer alone!
Hi have recently been diagnosed at age 38 with ASD and ADHD but was previously diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar. Emotional dysregulation is my biggest challenge for sure! I have been unable to sit with and manage the emotional rollercoaster and addiction is a problem! Remember it's just a bad day is hard to believe when in the situation but it is true. Take care xx
Such an awesome video. Thank you. I struggle with all of this too. It's so hard when you have both conditions fighting with each other, let alone figuring out what to do to help both when treatment for one is kinda at odd with treatment for the other. My mind is whirling with things I could try now. Yes, you cannot teach someone how to swim while they are in the process of drowning. We need to find a bit of calm before we can work on manufacturing our own version of it.
Ella, thank you so much for making this video! I've just been diagnosed AuDHD at 47. Listening to this video I realized my dopamine-seeking ADHD is the reason why I keep signing up for four-month-long online college courses. Then I end up regretting it a month in because the course work on top of working full-time is too much for my autism to handle. This is a huge epiphany for me. I'm going to find alternatives for learning new things without the long-term commitment, like hour-long LinkedIn Learning courses. Thank you!!
my dopamine but not overstimulating activity is crocheting or knitting while watching tv/youtube. definitely affordable to beginners, but this yarn addiction has taken over my apartment. not saying that's a bad thing. but i just had a really terrible day and i needed to hear this and be validated right now. i hate that someone else has to feel this way too, but i am glad that it's not just me. the cat and dog fighting--hit the nail on the head.
thank you so much for specifically talking abt what its like having a combination of adhd and autism. I got my adhd diagnosis 2 years ago and my autism assessment is at the end of the month. Listening to you helped a lot with sorting out that i might have autism even if my adhd affects its presentation quite a bit
Love this. When you said you need to seek stimulation for your ADHD I started thinking I wasn't going to be able to relate but when you said you use TEA!!!! This is me.
I am not diagnosed with either, but i recognise a lot of the struggles of both. The variation in drinks you like got me thinking. I think i do the same thing with food. I rarely make the same recipe and most of my groceries are 'too good to go' boxes, the surprise is so much fun to me!
I always have to switch up my studying routine for every test. Last time I did everything digitally and super clean. This time it's messy, visual and colourful. Right now I just try in the ways that I can manage and try to adapt my life to my needs. It's weird and it stresses me a little, but doing something is better than being stuck.
Ella, the timing of this video is just spot on for me. I just finished watching a video by the "Crappy Childhood Fairy" called "Trauma Causes Emotional Dysregulation: Here's How to Heal It." If you aren't familiar with this channel, you might check her out. I had my first meltdown in quilte a while recently and found the info there to be insightful and helpful. I also enjoyt "Therapy in a Nutshell" Keep up the good fight and love to the Ella family!
Good to see you. Love listening to you. I, too, have a much easier time identifying and managing emotions thanks to my ADHD medication, and I've found mini routines really helpful. Love your beautiful sweater. And well done on filming and getting this posted! I found it helpful and calming and it made my morning happier. 💜
I suspect I have one or both of ADHD/Autism. I also have a huge tea collection that I periodically update, but I also have other habits like switching between different colored tea mugs, or switching which end of the couch I sit on, and other things maybe that I switch between and strongly prefer (or need?) options for so that I periodically can switch things around and I never considered it to be anything significant, but maybe it is. I'm starting the evaluation process this weekend and i am so nervous.
the drinks part reminded me of my own kitchen lmao, right now we have a huge box with 90 tea bags, 18 different tastes * 5 bags of each one, ought to say that it's one of the greatest tea manufacturers available a every grocery here, so it's tasty and diverse, plus we drink it in rounds, one taste after another, and it's just perfect! plus i gonna upcycle the box into an organizer for my diy hyperfixation so it's a win-win anyway lmao
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and your hacks, they are really helpfull. To be honest I already instinctinly practiced some. Your signs are so reliable to me, I feel all the time devided. I easily loose the overview.
It's so refreshing to see a video of another person struggling with the things I struggle with. The people in this kind of video, especially if the word "Strategies" is in the title, always seem to have worked out how to manage the "cat and dog fight" that's constantly going on in their minds. Just the fact that you have kids and a relationship blows my mind, and makes me feel like a lazy asocial asshole, so it really brightens my mind two find out that you struggle two, if you know what I mean. I feel that the things one side of me can't live without, is the other sides worst nightmare and vice versa. One side needs everything tidy and the other side forgets things if they are not cluttered out in the open. One side loves impulsivity and surprise, and the other side hates that more than anything. One side craves all kinds of sensory stimulans, which the other side would do anything to avoid. I am constantly super stressed and burned out, and the only thing that works for me is traveling. It is easy to see why the ADHD side loves to travel around e.g. India, but how the autism side can cope with that baffles me. Clutterless hotel rooms, and the fact that you don't have to mask all the time, because you are already different as a foreigner, somehow doesn't seem to be enough to counteract the gigantic sensory bombardment. I feel like I've been working in some kind of a zombie state for about 1½ - 2 years and then traveling for about 3 month, repeatedly for the last 30 years. I finally gave up and ended on welfare and eventually got diagnosed with both Aspergers and ADD less than a year ago ...
Seems like you were living in constant burnout. Have you recovered or found good coping skills at all now that you're out of your old life? I hope you're doing better. 😊
i really identify with what you say. I have a definite autism diagnosis and suspect I might have ADHD. I relate to the push - pull experience. I take on work that sounds exciting and quickly get overloaded. Sorry you've had a bad day Ella - hope the weekend gives you what you need to get back on an even keel!
I was just diagnosed AuDHD this week. I feel like my entire life has been a war. Meditation and exercise have been beneficial to me at times, but the war never stops. Tug of war all day. I really relate to your description of what is going on in your head.
Playing a computer game while watching TV is something I've been telling people about for a while. If I'm just doing one of those things, there's capacity in my brain for worries and anxiety. I refer to it as "double distracting."
A lot of your strategies are ones I had to figured out on my own too, as if I needed more proof that I'm both Autistic and ADHD (I'm only professionally diagnosed with ADHD).
Great video as always, thanks Ella. ASD and ADHD love to get spicy together, my challenge is that often there's not a common rule as to how they'll interact which makes coping a challenge at times as I can't rely on prediction or past experience/knowledge. Luckily I've become my own special interest who's continually researching in this practical exercise called life. Late diagnosed ASD, pursuing ADHD (very likely) assessment here.
Your sweater vest looks so comfy, and I love how you match the tiny tree in the background 🥰 Hardcore relate to the fancy drinks bit - and I really enjoy low-light 1-man headphone discos! I feel like for so many things having both basically creates a really narrow goldilocks zone and it's def challenging to stay in it.... re: mini-routines, I loved working at a job where my shifts varied each week BUT I could pick a month's worth in advance, and it wasn't in a regular rotating pattern. As there were only 3 main options wrt time and length, it meant I could create 3 different day routines around them that swapped about depending what shift it was that day. I miss that as I'm realising it was such a good mix for me of structure+ novelty!
Yes!! I used to play video games and watch anime at the same time.... 5:40 I was diagnosed with adhd and autism this year....I thought I was crazy until I started seeking help.
I've always done something like this- but the kicker came when I became paralyzed and limited physical movement added a rather frustrating dynamic, one which I've really had no control over. Interestingly, before becoming paralyzed- I was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type- but was aware that the diagnosis didn't cover everything I was experiencing. Even on medication it's like there was something else. Then, a few years ago (2022- so technically still during pandemic), I started paying out of pocket for a psychotherapist. In our first session- completely umprompted and without me providing any real context- she asked if I had ever being asked if I was autistic, or if anyone ever wondered if I was "on the spectrum." I still don't haven't pursued a diagnosis for ASD- but in the week leading up to this vid & seeing your comment (both of which really resonate with me), I've been revisiting one of the few "advice" books I have on ADHD and helpful skills. I am now realizing- yep, late in 2024- nearly 14 years after ADHD diagnosis and 2 years after that ASD mention- that I need to look for something that covers both! That said- your comment and Ella's permission (by way of shared experience) to, in essence, a time out to get a dopamine hit and give other parts of my brain either a break or something else to do is incredibly helpful for me. Thank you (both!)
🇺🇸 here. Thanks for the video! They won’t even evaluate me for ASD. First Dr said within the first min I can tell you’re not, the fist time I met him. RX Dr said he didn’t believe in female ASD 😳. I paid 2k for an evaluation, and at the end she said Oh I never even screened for that…. Ugh. They won’t let up w the bipolar bc everyone in USA seems to be on mood stabilizers. Finally got at least hypersensitivity and sensory processing disorder on paper but I believe I need adhd meds. I’ve always been a lot but now at 31 I can’t handle it anymore I can barely function w the adhd symptoms…. Plus hormones ahhhhhh it’s a mess lol your video has been helpful thank you!
so to sum up, here's some simple ways to boost dopamine when you have both autism and adhd: - exciting drinks (get lots of tea options, nice glasses or mugs, fun straws, etc.) - double stimulation like playing a videogame while watching TV or listening to a podcast (you can make this any combination of activities that you like) - listen to upbeat music that makes you dance around - online socialising (you can use timers so it doesn't feel overwhelming) - check out video about mini routines if you find that routines have been really helpful to you but never managed to stick to one - if you have access to it, get medication to help managing your emotions remember to experiment to find out what works for you and good luck!
I've recently self-identified with autism (I was denied a diagnosis because I didn't seem to appear to have "communication difficulties"...girl it's because I LOVE SPEAKING...) but the thing is, something seems off. I'm quite expansive and ever since I was a toddler I was a full-on chatterbox (constantly interrupting others too) and an overly active head, even though I crave sameness and down time. It's always been a huge contradiction between mind and body. Both my mother and brother are ADHDers (both of them combined type)...I'm doing the math now...
Hi Ella! Thank you again for your contents! Your honesty really pulls me in and I find so much comfort in them. I’m also looking for answers and trying ways to make my life a little easier. I wanted to say “cope” but it isn’t too bad(I hope to believe 😂) Some days are good but some can be very very tough. I know this video is a year old but I hope you’re doing ok today. Meltdowns are hard on everyone so the guilt that comes with it weighs on me pretty heavily as a mom. But I’m only new in this world of ND so I try and give myself a big hug for coming this far. I’m giving you an air hug too if that’s ok(u don’t have to take it if u don’t want it 😊) and I want you to know there’s a lot of us out there who truly appreciate you! ♥️
@@Sunnyflower67 hi sunnyflower67! There’s plenty of hugs to be going around now! And for you, because I love the forwardness, I’m sending you lots of hugs 🤗
That is so funny because I have my mixed juices, coconut water and sparkling water activity. Every week I buy various juices plus other stuff and mix them. I am not supposed to drink caffeine due to POTS.
As I understand Mini Routines are what I do. I am not diagnosed Autistic or ADHD'er, but relate to both greatly. I for instance always brush my teeth by seconds and always in the same way. I always eat the same breakfast, when Im not depressed, and lay my food in the exact same position wish is a flower that I than burry in Youguhrt so it is essentially useless. But for me these are happy times and I know that I wouldnt be able to eat a propper breakfast, feed my pets, leave the house or brush my teeth without them.
I think you are amazing, I always find all your video's so helpful, interesting, inspiring and so knowledgeable. You teach us so much about what it is like to have both Autism and ADHD and I think this topic is such a complex one, it is brilliant to find out exactly what it must be like. I really can relate to this, please can you let us know how you managed to get an ADHD diagnosis. Thank you so much for your help and advice.
I live on my own, have two kids with autism and ADHD and I was diagnosed with ADHD when my eldest kid was 16. They and many in my life say I am autistic. I think they are right.
Hello , I am recently diagnosed with asd and he also recommended I take a adhd test , so when we took the asd diagnosis the gp to find out what's next they put in the adhd recommendations so I hope I don't have wait 3 years befor I get any help , like maybe some help for the autism in the mean time lol but thank you I really find these videos a grest comfort and help
Ella-I think more description of how you know you're overstimulated or understimulated would be helpful, some day. I know intellectually what the words mean, of course. In practice, though, it seems like I know I've been overstimulated because I shut down. I don't really see it coming.
I'm already diagnosed autistic, but I've suspected for sometime that I may also have ADHD. For example, the autistic side of me likes routines, but I'm not always "disciplined" enough to always stick to them - is that ADHD "influencing" things?
Got my ASD diagnosis last week, after spending 18 months on the waiting list in the UK. Over 30 years of confusing situations and struggling to fit in now with a reason. Thank you for all your videos. They've been a massive help. 👏
I see a lot of people online who game and watch or listen to something at the same time. I cannot do that, at all. I can fold laundry and watch something, or make an easy brainpuzzle (like sudoku) very slowly and watch something. But anything else whilst watching something does not work. I do have to see, I might not have autism at all, so maybe that's the reason...🤔 idk, I do have ADHD for sure. But I myself dont really recognize that many autism traits, but my doctors think I might have autism.. so I'm just seeing if I feel like tips for autism or the combo of autism and ADHD are helpful for me, so that I might get a clearer idea whether I do or don't have autism (combined with ADHD). Am I the only one who is not that good in watching something and playing a game at the same time?
I watched this with my 9 year old son. He is on the spectrum and has ADHD. When you said your brain feels like a cat and dog having a disagreement, his face lit up and he said "Yeah!" He was so excited to see an adult who has meltdowns.
Routines ... yes. I feel that very much. I can have a superb routine, even for a long time, and then, one day to the other - poof, it's gone. Or I have a favourite thing / hobby / food and want nothing else - and then suddenly it's boring and I don't want it any more. I am learning to live with it, not trying to force something but just accept that things change and will come back at a later time, but it still annoys me. Also wanting to do all the things with my ADHD brain, whilst my ASD brain is already dreading the next step...
I wish you good rest from your meltdown!
You could be describing me
I feel this
One big issue with the hobbies is that if it's something that requires a big investment, and then you do all that and are super excited, and then poof, it's gone... Depending on the hobby, you might be able to sell the stuff and get some of the money back, but yeah... Even before knowing of my AuDHD I already knew this is my pattern, so I've held back on huge investments on new hobbies, but even after a long time you can't tell if the hobby will be gone the next week or still there after 20 years. It's not even like "Ugh, I'm fed up with this", but just like I just don't return to the hobby, I pretty much forget that it even ever existed.
And indeed, old hobbies may do a comeback, but chances are the equipment for it is gone bad, no longer fitting or has become obsolete.
It is kind of funny, too, like every time I update my CV I'll also need to update my list of hobbies.
And I also realized that I am a little bit like this with friends. "ZOMG best friends ever" and then at some point I realize I haven't been in touch with that person in two years. And again, nothing against that person, something just came along and I just forgot about their existence.
@fintux I'm kinda the same way. Seeing it written here makes me feel awful, though. 😢 I know I'm FULL of empathy for others (sometimes toxically so) but these behaviors sure make us sound like horrible people. Speaking of how we can forget about people like we do with a hobby. It's no wonder most of us have trouble keeping friends or romantic relationships. I mean, I wouldn't be involved with me either if I wasn't stuck with me. 🫣
I hope that didn't sound like I was attacking you. I guess I'm attacking myself. Which isn't a good thing either but it seems to be a favorite pastime that I'd LIKE to lose. 😬
@@Sunnyflower67 No offense taken at all, don't worry! Of some of my best friends, I'm quite sure one is AuDHD and one has a confirmed ADHD diagnosis, and the good thing is that even if we haven't been in contact in a year, when we get back in touch, it's as if there was never any time in between. Maybe that could work for you as well? For me, the pandemic has been really a bad things considering friends, I got covid among the first people and have still not made a full recovery, so I've been isolating on purpose, too, but then I would like occasionally meet people with precautions, but it has been so difficult to start doing that on a regular basis.
Very helpful, I too am autistic with adhd. I find it very powerful to allow myself to feel and not let myself react immediately.
Excellent video, thankyou Ella. I'm diagnosed autistic & awaiting ADHD assessment. It makes total sense of my contradictions! Your exciting teas selection sounds just like my tea & coffee station, 2 open shelf units, one with interesting tins for each tea variety, & one with my 'quirky mugs' collection, next to kettle.
The thing I’ve learnt over time it’s like having depression and anxiety at the same time. Only both are ramped up to 11, to quote Spinal Tap. They are polar opposite and a nightmare when both push through. I’ve also discovered that all of my masks dropped during the first lockdown when, even though I was working it, the reduction in noise and air pollution, being able to hear and smell nature take control. Now that has all eased, I’m struggling and I have forgotten how I coped. I love being able to talk about the natural world, my ADHD and autistic “special interest” work together on that when volunteering at Edinburgh Zoo! It’s a challenge, from the outside, when coping with it, it looks calm. On the inside, a minor upset, a wrong word or gesture and meltdown commences! When they synchronise, awesome happens, when they don’t huge meltdown! It’s a journey of extremes, buckle up and hold on!
Depression and anxiety mixed. Sounds familiar!
Oh no. I hope working with my 5 year old will help keep her from feeling that way. I have suffered from depression and anxiety together. It is my greatest fear my child will feel that way. Fingers crossed her OT, ST,and Future ABA will help her learn coping skills early.
Hi Ella, thank you so much for making content on how ADHD and autism together can often conflict. There is a serious lack of content and research into this, I really struggle to find advice for how to manage both conditions 😢 I get very easily overwhelmed and overstimulated in work places, so I found a casual work from home job which is quite easy and simple, and guess what my ADHD now hates this job and I can’t stand how boring it is! It’s so difficult to find a manageable but interesting job!!
My ADHD roommate does data entry work from home and listens to videos and audiobooks on a Sony wireless headset that hugs both her ears to keep boredom from derailing her brain. She also finds going to do dishes for five minutes or to the mailbox on her break freshens body and mind - plus has a table next to her desk with a cat bed on it so kitty can keep her company without laying on the keyboard. 😆💜🐈🐾
@@gamewrit0058 thanks those are some good ideas! :) unfortunately I can’t concentrate if I have music/podcasts etc on :/ but I think I need to take more breaks or it just becomes too monotonous. I’ve also seen a lot of people talk about data entry work from home jobs but I can never find this type of work!! Haha
Hii, I’ve just recently figured out that I have both, and I’m not an adult or anything, so my advice might be useless but I figured i could as well try. I think a work from home job might be good, because you don’t actually have to restrain yourself to the office. If you’re feeling like it’s getting boring, you can decide to work from new and exciting places. For example a cafe, or a library, etc. New places can help me feel refreshed and excited, which then causes me to feel more motivated. If you don’t like the noise (in my case, the background noise others make helps me focus) you can put on headphones. I’d say that it might help to switch up something small about your work days every few days, like the location or the methods you’re using. Something that works for me too is to do something nice in my break, such as making an exciting drink. I tell myself that if I can finish something in, say, 30 minutes? I’ll have earned the drink. Sorry, I typed a lot 😅 but I hope it can help at least a little :)
@@ValerieSmith-wm3bp Absolutely helpful! Being an adult doesn't make them smarter. Sometimes it's just the opposite because we think we're smarter due to having more experience.
Everybody's different after all. 😊
Awesome analogy of a cat (autism) & a dog (adhd) having a fight in your brain. Can sooo relate to this! 😄
Thank you so much for filming on an off day. I’ve had a few off days lately and you speaking candidly makes me feel less alone. I too have instinctively developed mini-routines but I’m going to be more mindful and purposeful about them after watching this… I have too many allergies to make fun drinks anymore but I could buy new mugs! I’m an artists and switching up my art supplies is the best way I’ve found to get the dopamine hit without the overstimulation. Sometimes expensive but effective. Oh yeah and dancing! Which is free!
I went through a similar process of my ADHD usually winning out to my detriment and then trying to rein it in. I feel like I spend so much time focusing on protecting myself now that it has hurt my vitality and energy levels! It's really a process of muddling through and just trying to find anything that helps achieve some harmony, even if it only helps temporarily!
Diagnosed ADHD, suspect the ASD! I love your ideas about drinks! When I think about it, this is something I have unthinkingly jumped into because I have lots of drinks and drink supplies (syrups, teas, coffees, etc).
The one about emotions hit me hard. It's the biggest thing I miss when I don't have medication - I feel things so strongly it's so overwhelming I feel insane sometimes. Medication calms that for me. It allows me to step back and be present in my discomforts instead of running to the good feelings. It's so hard! Most of my improvement comes from being able to actually "focus" on that.
Thanks for your insight and thoughts into strategies in dealing with both. I hope things look up for you and wish you all the happy stims.
Yes! My ADHD medication helps me identify feelings, like hunger, and actually initiate a task to do something about it. Now, I can often say, oh, I feel awful because I need food and I can make toast - and actually accomplish that within minutes, instead of taking forever to realize I'm hungry, then delay that for another hour or more until meltdown. The first time I tried a Rx that worked for me (Focalin), I said aloud: Is this what executive function feels like? Do neurotypical people feel like this every day?! 💜
Bless you, Ella! “Just not today” has such resonance for me and I’m going to memorize that one. You may also have just answered my conundrum about why I don’t seem to be as rigid in routines as I hear I’m supposed to be...they change at intervals. I and my mother both chase/chased dopamine, and it’s one reason I talk so much, I can feel it raising my mood, but I’m realizing that my inner busy-mind ADHD chatter is my biggest source of sensory overload, which seems odd but there it is.
I've just had my ASD assessment and been told with confidence I have ADHD and autism (not got the official diagnosis yet but had two professionals say the same). This was a surprise to me, I'm trying to research AuDHD but also struggling to find info. I'm really trying to find some strategies to make life more manageable and this video has literally made my jaw drop - it's SO relatable and is full of things I've been naturally gravitating too already. Thank you for sharing!!
Hi Ella! I would just like to say that as a writer, my thought is that if my articles or books help just ONE person, I am happy - and this video is exactly what I needed today, so much that I want to cry from happiness. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! I'm going to rewatch this and take notes, and also definitely check out your mini routines video, because I have the exact same issue with routines.
I hope you're feeling better!
Very helpful and thought provoking 🙂 Its given me some ideas for why certain things I've been trying work better than others but also why some things that often work suddenly don't... which feels particularly important. I really appreciate your candour as well. 💜💜💜
It's a nice little dopamine boost to hear you describing things I've learned to do. GMTA!
Yes! What a good idea for drinks and mini-routines! Recently diagnosed and now understand why I was “consistently inconsistent” yet also consistent….for a few weeks, then would be bored and need to create a new routine!
I was diagnosed with autism in 2020 and ADHD in 2021. I’ve been trying to find anything online that talks about having both. So thank you for uploading this. As you said there is little to nothing about having both, which is bizarre. I know of people with autism and people with ADHD, but I’m finding that having both sometimes pulls me in two completely separate directions. I was watching a piece the other day where someone suggested they ‘cancelled each other out” and I think they were talking about the difficulties in diagnosing both, not a day to day basis, coz as you’ll know they most definitely don’t, I find I’d anything it can be the reverse, as I say one wants one set of things, the other can want a totally contradicting set of things. One set of needs can make another set of needs even worse, If that makes sense. Harmonious it’s not. Anyways, thanks so much for doing this, so important to me. I do think a lot of autistic people are likely to have ADHD and the reverse is also true, I believe it’s just wrongly diagnosed and symptoms missed.
Thank you for helping other aspies know we're not alone! I have adhd and aspergers plus ocd! So I get bored easy and need to do something different a lot. I love hikes and kayaking with my dog. But then OCD is there to make everything look like a hazard! I just took my first road trip out of state a few years ago. Breaking out of my comfort zone is hard!! Meltdowns are everyday! I love how you explain this! Keep shining and I'll keep watching. ✨️
I love the samsung phone to do the video game and TV combo. I can open RUclips and games at the same time and I find that helpful to get more domamine stimulation.
THANK YOU, ELLA! always being real and showing a more real side of life 🤙
Totally get the double stimulation thing. I do that a lot. I also found that I needed a daily routine, but I will change the order or add something different in there to satisfy both my ASD need for routine, and my ADHD needs for something new and exciting.
6:41 OMG... you are describing my life! (Diagnosed ADHD inattentive type in my late 30s, suggested (by a psychotherapist 2 years ago- after turning 50) that I might be on the spectrum- but I haven't yet persued a diagnosis. Thank you for making this video (even though I'm stumbling across it 2 years after you made it!).
I love your videos, keep doing you! Even the struggling provides me a lot of insight. We are all imperfect. Love to hear your coping strategies. I find them extremely helpful and eye-opening 🥰
@Sophie Astrid Rooth I like that, thanks for the positive 🤗
Thank you for your honesty 💖
That's indeed all we need.. a place to share what works for each of as we better learn and understand ourselves. Thanks!
I would always have a TV show playing in the background as I played games at an earlier age. Now it's playing a cozy game with Lofi.
Sad part is though is if I am getting that excess stimulation and I get interrupted I'm far easier to get upset than I would be if I was just listening to lofi or just playing the game.
Thank you! I was diagnosed with Autism late in life - well, there were indications when I was a kid, but that's a long story - and only recently found out about the ADHD overlap that explains SO MUCH about how I operate. And I'm struggling hard, now that I know. I used to have this belief that I might be able to 'get better' or become more normal, and when that didn't happen... I slowly descended into a burnout that has lasted just... so long now. I'm now in a safe place and have been for several months, and things are slowly getting better, but I'm having such a hard time accepting myself as having this double diagnosis. I very recently had a meltdown where the maelstrom of worries, fears, stressors, and general anxiety in my life merged into a real self-hate moment where I sat pummeling my legs with my fists until the worst passed. Then I slowly calmed down in the dark of my bedroom, still wondering why it has to be this way. I mean... I'm 41, and I'm wondering how I'll be able to get back into normal life again after years of being broken down. It's been hard, but finding your channel has helped a great deal. And thank you for being real and honest about when you're struggling! It's so relatable and helpful!
This video seals it. I'm convinced I also have ADHD. I crave novelty and newness but get overwhelmed and can find it hard to manage emotions in certain situations. I get super restless even when I feel like I need to rest.
I've actually been doing special drinks off and on for years now and it makes sense! I'll try to be more consistent with it. New and different drinks make me really satisfied and excited.
Thank you so much for doing this video. It's really helped me focus on this aspect of myself.
I'm self diagnosed ASD and now ADHD. I was fighting the ADHD because it's not super apparent in me. I always joked that my brain was constantly fighting itself. This feels right considering everything.
So glad I found your channel! After a 5yr wait since my initial assessment, I was NHS diagnosed as autistic back in June but it didn’t explain everything. Then I found out you can have both autism and adhd,and yes! This vid explains a lot of what I’ve been going through for the last half a century! Thank you for sharing! ❤
Thank you so much for having the courage to go out and be what you originally needed for others so that they would have what you didn't. I respect you so much for this!
I was so scared that people wouldn't understand that I really am autistic because I do the double stimulation thing too. I will listen to music or podcasts constantly while also indulging for hours on my special interest. I like to play outside with my son, but want to always be listening to music or podcasts while I do. Stimming also works best for me while watching or listening to something. I am starting to realize thanks to you that a lot of my differences from autism are ADHD not that I don't have autism. Thank you so much!
Thanks!
Thank you Ella you videos are very good when I watch them I am exactly the same. I have my adhd medicated now so I am much better my emotions are so much more balanced. I am waiting for a autism assessment unfortunately I can’t find any pre diagnosis help until a diagnosis
The cat and dog analogy is amazing, thank you for the useful tip!
You know I absolutely love your channel because you speak clearly about subjects without outside noise distractions Ect thank you
As someone who is diagnosed with ADHD and is now realizing that I’m likely autistic as well, this is so helpful. It can be so confusing trying to figure out which disorder is causing which traits!!
Wow, so very relatable.
It’s not just adhd! I’ve just connected so many dots.
I was diagnosed 2 years ago with adhd, at 33..but I have these other traits and tendencies that create a somewhat opposing dynamic. Making friends everywhere I go one day and then not wanting to do eye contact with anyone the next day. Perfection and safety seeking and also chaos seeking. Putting myself in all sorts of social situations only to become totally overloaded.
I appreciate your insight.
Wanting to
This is exactly what I needed to hear thank you so much 💞😺🐕
You don't have to have all the answers. You share valuable info.
Hi Ella, I have a dual diagnosis like you and I’m so glad I found your video as you could be my emotional twin, its so uncanny. All your emotional up’s and downs, meltdowns and catastrophising resonate with me. Thank you for making these videos….Im no longer alone!
Thanks I have autism adhd and anxiety this really helped
Hi have recently been diagnosed at age 38 with ASD and ADHD but was previously diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar. Emotional dysregulation is my biggest challenge for sure! I have been unable to sit with and manage the emotional rollercoaster and addiction is a problem! Remember it's just a bad day is hard to believe when in the situation but it is true. Take care xx
Managing the emotional rollercoaster is really hard for me also. I know my feelings are too strong for what is happening but that doesn't lessen them.
Such an awesome video. Thank you. I struggle with all of this too. It's so hard when you have both conditions fighting with each other, let alone figuring out what to do to help both when treatment for one is kinda at odd with treatment for the other. My mind is whirling with things I could try now.
Yes, you cannot teach someone how to swim while they are in the process of drowning. We need to find a bit of calm before we can work on manufacturing our own version of it.
Ella, thank you so much for making this video! I've just been diagnosed AuDHD at 47. Listening to this video I realized my dopamine-seeking ADHD is the reason why I keep signing up for four-month-long online college courses. Then I end up regretting it a month in because the course work on top of working full-time is too much for my autism to handle. This is a huge epiphany for me. I'm going to find alternatives for learning new things without the long-term commitment, like hour-long LinkedIn Learning courses. Thank you!!
my dopamine but not overstimulating activity is crocheting or knitting while watching tv/youtube. definitely affordable to beginners, but this yarn addiction has taken over my apartment. not saying that's a bad thing. but i just had a really terrible day and i needed to hear this and be validated right now. i hate that someone else has to feel this way too, but i am glad that it's not just me. the cat and dog fighting--hit the nail on the head.
Finally i found someone who is just like me. Your video helped me to understand me better
Thank you for making these! Myself and daughter have both.
thank you so much for specifically talking abt what its like having a combination of adhd and autism. I got my adhd diagnosis 2 years ago and my autism assessment is at the end of the month. Listening to you helped a lot with sorting out that i might have autism even if my adhd affects its presentation quite a bit
Awesome video Ella
Love this. When you said you need to seek stimulation for your ADHD I started thinking I wasn't going to be able to relate but when you said you use TEA!!!! This is me.
I am not diagnosed with either, but i recognise a lot of the struggles of both. The variation in drinks you like got me thinking. I think i do the same thing with food. I rarely make the same recipe and most of my groceries are 'too good to go' boxes, the surprise is so much fun to me!
I always have to switch up my studying routine for every test. Last time I did everything digitally and super clean. This time it's messy, visual and colourful. Right now I just try in the ways that I can manage and try to adapt my life to my needs. It's weird and it stresses me a little, but doing something is better than being stuck.
Thank you ella! For making this video theres not much out there and i really like the energy you are proyecting
Thank you
Other way round for me, ADHD first then autistic. Like having a PC and Mac-book running simultaneously, with multiple apps open.
I also need drink variety. I'm also learning how to cook so I can have food variety.
Ella, the timing of this video is just spot on for me. I just finished watching a video by the "Crappy Childhood Fairy" called "Trauma Causes Emotional Dysregulation: Here's How to Heal It." If you aren't familiar with this channel, you might check her out. I had my first meltdown in quilte a while recently and found the info there to be insightful and helpful. I also enjoyt "Therapy in a Nutshell" Keep up the good fight and love to the Ella family!
Oh my god the relatability thank you
Another amazing and helpful video, thank you. You truly help me feel less alone
Good to see you. Love listening to you. I, too, have a much easier time identifying and managing emotions thanks to my ADHD medication, and I've found mini routines really helpful. Love your beautiful sweater. And well done on filming and getting this posted! I found it helpful and calming and it made my morning happier. 💜
I suspect I have one or both of ADHD/Autism. I also have a huge tea collection that I periodically update, but I also have other habits like switching between different colored tea mugs, or switching which end of the couch I sit on, and other things maybe that I switch between and strongly prefer (or need?) options for so that I periodically can switch things around and I never considered it to be anything significant, but maybe it is. I'm starting the evaluation process this weekend and i am so nervous.
the drinks part reminded me of my own kitchen lmao, right now we have a huge box with 90 tea bags, 18 different tastes * 5 bags of each one, ought to say that it's one of the greatest tea manufacturers available a every grocery here, so it's tasty and diverse, plus we drink it in rounds, one taste after another, and it's just perfect! plus i gonna upcycle the box into an organizer for my diy hyperfixation so it's a win-win anyway lmao
Thank you for sharing your tips and being so truthful about your struggles. 😉
I love myself I trust myself I honor myself I value myself....💎💖🔥 keeps me vibing high
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and your hacks, they are really helpfull. To be honest I already instinctinly practiced some. Your signs are so reliable to me, I feel all the time devided. I easily loose the overview.
It's so refreshing to see a video of another person struggling with the things I struggle with. The people in this kind of video, especially if the word "Strategies" is in the title, always seem to have worked out how to manage the "cat and dog fight" that's constantly going on in their minds. Just the fact that you have kids and a relationship blows my mind, and makes me feel like a lazy asocial asshole, so it really brightens my mind two find out that you struggle two, if you know what I mean.
I feel that the things one side of me can't live without, is the other sides worst nightmare and vice versa. One side needs everything tidy and the other side forgets things if they are not cluttered out in the open. One side loves impulsivity and surprise, and the other side hates that more than anything. One side craves all kinds of sensory stimulans, which the other side would do anything to avoid.
I am constantly super stressed and burned out, and the only thing that works for me is traveling. It is easy to see why the ADHD side loves to travel around e.g. India, but how the autism side can cope with that baffles me. Clutterless hotel rooms, and the fact that you don't have to mask all the time, because you are already different as a foreigner, somehow doesn't seem to be enough to counteract the gigantic sensory bombardment. I feel like I've been working in some kind of a zombie state for about 1½ - 2 years and then traveling for about 3 month, repeatedly for the last 30 years.
I finally gave up and ended on welfare and eventually got diagnosed with both Aspergers and ADD less than a year ago ...
Seems like you were living in constant burnout. Have you recovered or found good coping skills at all now that you're out of your old life? I hope you're doing better. 😊
I am audhd too and found this very helpful thanks Ella
i really identify with what you say. I have a definite autism diagnosis and suspect I might have ADHD. I relate to the push - pull experience. I take on work that sounds exciting and quickly get overloaded. Sorry you've had a bad day Ella - hope the weekend gives you what you need to get back on an even keel!
I was just diagnosed AuDHD this week. I feel like my entire life has been a war. Meditation and exercise have been beneficial to me at times, but the war never stops. Tug of war all day. I really relate to your description of what is going on in your head.
Playing a computer game while watching TV is something I've been telling people about for a while. If I'm just doing one of those things, there's capacity in my brain for worries and anxiety. I refer to it as "double distracting."
A lot of your strategies are ones I had to figured out on my own too, as if I needed more proof that I'm both Autistic and ADHD (I'm only professionally diagnosed with ADHD).
Great video as always, thanks Ella. ASD and ADHD love to get spicy together, my challenge is that often there's not a common rule as to how they'll interact which makes coping a challenge at times as I can't rely on prediction or past experience/knowledge. Luckily I've become my own special interest who's continually researching in this practical exercise called life. Late diagnosed ASD, pursuing ADHD (very likely) assessment here.
Your sweater vest looks so comfy, and I love how you match the tiny tree in the background 🥰 Hardcore relate to the fancy drinks bit - and I really enjoy low-light 1-man headphone discos!
I feel like for so many things having both basically creates a really narrow goldilocks zone and it's def challenging to stay in it.... re: mini-routines, I loved working at a job where my shifts varied each week BUT I could pick a month's worth in advance, and it wasn't in a regular rotating pattern. As there were only 3 main options wrt time and length, it meant I could create 3 different day routines around them that swapped about depending what shift it was that day. I miss that as I'm realising it was such a good mix for me of structure+ novelty!
Yes!! I used to play video games and watch anime at the same time.... 5:40 I was diagnosed with adhd and autism this year....I thought I was crazy until I started seeking help.
I've always done something like this- but the kicker came when I became paralyzed and limited physical movement added a rather frustrating dynamic, one which I've really had no control over. Interestingly, before becoming paralyzed- I was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type- but was aware that the diagnosis didn't cover everything I was experiencing. Even on medication it's like there was something else. Then, a few years ago (2022- so technically still during pandemic), I started paying out of pocket for a psychotherapist. In our first session- completely umprompted and without me providing any real context- she asked if I had ever being asked if I was autistic, or if anyone ever wondered if I was "on the spectrum." I still don't haven't pursued a diagnosis for ASD- but in the week leading up to this vid & seeing your comment (both of which really resonate with me), I've been revisiting one of the few "advice" books I have on ADHD and helpful skills. I am now realizing- yep, late in 2024- nearly 14 years after ADHD diagnosis and 2 years after that ASD mention- that I need to look for something that covers both!
That said- your comment and Ella's permission (by way of shared experience) to, in essence, a time out to get a dopamine hit and give other parts of my brain either a break or something else to do is incredibly helpful for me. Thank you (both!)
🇺🇸 here. Thanks for the video! They won’t even evaluate me for ASD. First Dr said within the first min I can tell you’re not, the fist time I met him. RX Dr said he didn’t believe in female ASD 😳. I paid 2k for an evaluation, and at the end she said Oh I never even screened for that…. Ugh. They won’t let up w the bipolar bc everyone in USA seems to be on mood stabilizers. Finally got at least hypersensitivity and sensory processing disorder on paper but I believe I need adhd meds. I’ve always been a lot but now at 31 I can’t handle it anymore I can barely function w the adhd symptoms…. Plus hormones ahhhhhh it’s a mess lol your video has been helpful thank you!
Clever ideas!
so to sum up, here's some simple ways to boost dopamine when you have both autism and adhd:
- exciting drinks (get lots of tea options, nice glasses or mugs, fun straws, etc.)
- double stimulation like playing a videogame while watching TV or listening to a podcast (you can make this any combination of activities that you like)
- listen to upbeat music that makes you dance around
- online socialising (you can use timers so it doesn't feel overwhelming)
- check out video about mini routines if you find that routines have been really helpful to you but never managed to stick to one
- if you have access to it, get medication to help managing your emotions
remember to experiment to find out what works for you and good luck!
Right! A small cup of coffee every half hour with a scone or something
I've recently self-identified with autism (I was denied a diagnosis because I didn't seem to appear to have "communication difficulties"...girl it's because I LOVE SPEAKING...) but the thing is, something seems off. I'm quite expansive and ever since I was a toddler I was a full-on chatterbox (constantly interrupting others too) and an overly active head, even though I crave sameness and down time. It's always been a huge contradiction between mind and body. Both my mother and brother are ADHDers (both of them combined type)...I'm doing the math now...
Thanks so much
My Girlfriend in Albuquerque and I both have ASD & ADHD. We have an amazing relationship because we understand each other well :)
I live in Albuquerque as well! My boyfriend and I are both neurodivergent! We get along well and have been together for 11 years.
@@Catlily5 I will be moving to Albuquerque or Santa Fe when my lease expires in July. For now, I go there every 1-2 weeks from Phoenix.
@@craigcarter400 Welcome!
Hi Ella! Thank you again for your contents! Your honesty really pulls me in and I find so much comfort in them. I’m also looking for answers and trying ways to make my life a little easier. I wanted to say “cope” but it isn’t too bad(I hope to believe 😂)
Some days are good but some can be very very tough. I know this video is a year old but I hope you’re doing ok today. Meltdowns are hard on everyone so the guilt that comes with it weighs on me pretty heavily as a mom. But I’m only new in this world of ND so I try and give myself a big hug for coming this far. I’m giving you an air hug too if that’s ok(u don’t have to take it if u don’t want it 😊) and I want you to know there’s a lot of us out there who truly appreciate you! ♥️
So wait a minute......did Ella take the hug or not? If not, can I have it? 😅
Is this too forward of me? Lol.
(And some say we lack humor!) 😂❤
@@Sunnyflower67 hi sunnyflower67! There’s plenty of hugs to be going around now! And for you, because I love the forwardness, I’m sending you lots of hugs 🤗
@@Insil_Lee Awesome!! I'm so mad I didn't see this until today. No problem, hugs do not have expiration dates. 😂😂🤗
That is so funny because I have my mixed juices, coconut water and sparkling water activity. Every week I buy various juices plus other stuff and mix them. I am not supposed to drink caffeine due to POTS.
As I understand Mini Routines are what I do. I am not diagnosed Autistic or ADHD'er, but relate to both greatly. I for instance always brush my teeth by seconds and always in the same way. I always eat the same breakfast, when Im not depressed, and lay my food in the exact same position wish is a flower that I than burry in Youguhrt so it is essentially useless. But for me these are happy times and I know that I wouldnt be able to eat a propper breakfast, feed my pets, leave the house or brush my teeth without them.
Adhd and autism is the embodiment of puppycat from bee and puppycat
I think you are amazing, I always find all your video's so helpful, interesting, inspiring and so knowledgeable. You teach us so much about what it is like to have both Autism and ADHD and I think this topic is such a complex one, it is brilliant to find out exactly what it must be like. I really can relate to this, please can you let us know how you managed to get an ADHD diagnosis. Thank you so much for your help and advice.
Thank you.
Thank you Ella for this video ! ^_^
I've been taking Methylphenidate 18 mg, and it has been helping me a ton, it makes my autism more prominent tho
I live on my own, have two kids with autism and ADHD and I was diagnosed with ADHD when my eldest kid was 16. They and many in my life say I am autistic. I think they are right.
Starts at 2:45
Hello , I am recently diagnosed with asd and he also recommended I take a adhd test , so when we took the asd diagnosis the gp to find out what's next they put in the adhd recommendations so I hope I don't have wait 3 years befor I get any help , like maybe some help for the autism in the mean time lol but thank you I really find these videos a grest comfort and help
Thank you 💖
Ella-I think more description of how you know you're overstimulated or understimulated would be helpful, some day. I know intellectually what the words mean, of course. In practice, though, it seems like I know I've been overstimulated because I shut down. I don't really see it coming.
Or perhaps you've already done it, and I just need to find it as I go through your videos. :-)
I keep wanting to make drinks at home, but i constantly forget
I was diagnosed with ADHD hyperactivity at 28 but I wasn't tested for autism yet for how expensive it is to test
Oh you have the energy of a fairy ❤
I'm already diagnosed autistic, but I've suspected for sometime that I may also have ADHD. For example, the autistic side of me likes routines, but I'm not always "disciplined" enough to always stick to them - is that ADHD "influencing" things?
Got my ASD diagnosis last week, after spending 18 months on the waiting list in the UK. Over 30 years of confusing situations and struggling to fit in now with a reason. Thank you for all your videos. They've been a massive help. 👏
I do mini routines as well^^
I see a lot of people online who game and watch or listen to something at the same time. I cannot do that, at all. I can fold laundry and watch something, or make an easy brainpuzzle (like sudoku) very slowly and watch something. But anything else whilst watching something does not work. I do have to see, I might not have autism at all, so maybe that's the reason...🤔 idk, I do have ADHD for sure. But I myself dont really recognize that many autism traits, but my doctors think I might have autism..
so I'm just seeing if I feel like tips for autism or the combo of autism and ADHD are helpful for me, so that I might get a clearer idea whether I do or don't have autism (combined with ADHD).
Am I the only one who is not that good in watching something and playing a game at the same time?
Ear plugs and sunglasses help me greatly
It helps stop a lot of triggers