Boundaries are the way we connect
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- #shorts
Setting Personal Boundaries Webinar:
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As someone who's EXTREMELY terrified of setting boundaries with others due to the fear of being abandoned/rejected/disliked and struggles with self-respect overall, this is a MAJOR eye-opener
I need be able to express the grounds I stand on, how things truly make me feel, unafraid of stating where my lines are.
I shouldn't be ashamed of who I am and how I truly feel. I need to be honest and loving with myself, openly and unrestrained.
Thank you, genuinely 🙏
You help me verbalize so many concepts it’s untranslatably impactful
Wow! Reframing this concept changes so much for me, in an instant. Perfect explanation and analogy. Thank you for this!!
I need to make boundaries too for myself
Wow! What a perfect definition of boundary!
My mind is blown! I love this!
So much of understanding is perspective.. thanks for helping redefine‘boundaries’ - very tricky!
This is awesome Yes makes so much sense
He is brilliant!
this aligns a lot with some of the recent learning i've been doing. i too get very excited about boundaries!
Beautifully said
What do you think about that, boundaries and anxiety. When I don't respect my boundary, for exemple I want relationship with more people that I can, or more intensity that I can, or more connexion, and I try without respecting my boundary...I feel anxiety and I can't communicate.
I hate the term “boundaries” It’s probably my ‘tism, but I find the term meaningless. It’s imprecise, and thus can mean just about anything. What I suspect is meant by “boundaries” are RULES. Heuristics that simplify relationship calculus. Deal makers and deal breakers made simple. Setting limits. Limits and expectations. Limits to what you’ll tolerate from others. Expectations like reciprocity for kind words and actions. To work, they must be clearly defined and specific.
“I will not tolerate abusive language from my partner”
“I expect my friends to support my interests at least as much as I support theirs”
“I am loyal to and I expect loyalty from those I love”
Then, you need to define consequences for boundary violations. You must enforce them, or boundaries are meaningless:
“If you are abusive towards me, I’ll leave you” Then, if something feels abusive, you have to tell them. If they apologize and stop, your boundary worked. If they continue or belittle you, well, that’s when it gets hard. You have to LEAVE THEM.
You can go through something similar and set rules for all aspects of dealing with others. Just make sure you COMMUNICATE your boundaries and especially when you feel they are being violated. If the response is argumentative or invalidating or you’re shamed or bullied or coerced and manipulated by the other person, they are TOXIC.
Get away and stay away from such people.
So boundaries are complex - they function both to set limits and expectations, but they also should serve as a FILTER for what you allow into your life.
Come to think of it, they are similar in function to your skin - acting as a relationship sensory system - and as a semi-permeable barrier to abuse / love when they are unified, interdependent (linked) and clearly defined and communicated and rigorously enforced.
This was a great explanation. Thank you. Do you mind me asking, did you discover this stuff as a non autistic person? Taking me a lot to learn this stuff 😊
Yes. Becouse boundaries, and set rules, makes it easier to handle them. Especielly for the high functioning autistic and Aspie... A situation with no rules or rules nobody bothers about, or fluid rules, are very difficult for our autist... Ps. Its really the same for an immigrant in a new country... to see what rules they have makes it MUCH easier... While a "welcoming": Welcome, we dont have no tradition nor rules; as they did in Sweden, makes the situation much more difficult for all. They dont tell their rules, but later get sour you didnt managed them 100%...
Interesting and great! Paul, who is your guest?
Great information
Wow 😮
💯❤️❣️
Oooh that's deep
Which video is this from?
Interface
Same with borders and countries, distinction and culture..
As a neurodivergent person, the very.concept of boundaries is illogical and nebulous at best. I can't stand people who talk about boundaries in this way, as if they represent fully formed things, or concepts.
Is she a therapist? Can I be in touch ? Are you a therapist?
First you need to understand what boundaries are 😬
So basically you need to act like a fermion, not a boson.
Bla bla bla