Stop comparing! Be the best YOU! | Rachel Smets | TEDxHarderwijk

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  • Опубликовано: 20 ноя 2017
  • ‘’I wish I had a career like him’’
    ‘’I wish I had a body like her’’
    ‘’I wish I had a house like them’’
    Do you recognize such thoughts?
    How about now, when you are scrolling down Facebook, seeing all those dream holidays, watching seemingly perfect relationships, or fabulous achievements.
    Can you honestly do that without comparing at all?
    It’s OK. We all compare ourselves to others, it’s normal, in fact, it’s human nature.
    However, often this results in feeling bad or putting ourselves down.
    The GREAT news is that you don’t have to feel bad or quit dreaming. No! On the contrary, it’s important to pursue your dreams!
    So, what can you do? I’ll tell you …in this video!
    Rachel Smets is a bestselling author, speaker, Lecturer International Business, and Trainer.
    She has been living and working abroad for many years. This has broadened her mind, her understanding in cultures, interactions, and enhanced her flexibility towards people and places. She has learned to turn every challenge into a new opportunity.
    She helps people to understand cultural nuances, and build their confidence level to achieve their dreams and goals and become the person they want to be.
    She graduated from the University of Maryland (US) with a bachelor’s degree in psychology, and achieved her master’s degree in management from the University of St Andrews (UK).
    Rachel loves to inspire people and help them to become their best selves!
    ~Life changes, and so can you!~ This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Комментарии • 90

  • @ylsflv
    @ylsflv 3 года назад +74

    "We hide our mess and show us best" 👏👏👏

    • @larrymogen6943
      @larrymogen6943 3 года назад +2

      My wife compares herself with her friends , now she has no friends

    • @rosie6
      @rosie6 Год назад

      @@larrymogen6943 lmaooo sorry I laughed

  • @samox5866
    @samox5866 2 года назад +28

    love it " don't compare your chapter one to someone else's chapter 40"

  • @natashajain2013
    @natashajain2013 6 лет назад +132

    Never compare outside with inside- I love that so much. Really inspirational talk! Really feel good and such a relevant subject for our social-media obsessed generation!

    • @deepjyotitalukdar3470
      @deepjyotitalukdar3470 5 лет назад +1

      Ya exactly this video is an eye opener to those who constantly comparing😡

    • @haidarsyriaismyheart5945
      @haidarsyriaismyheart5945 4 года назад +2

      Sure, I'm with you in every letter you have written 👍🌹

    • @v.dargain1678
      @v.dargain1678 4 года назад +2

      Same . Never compare what's outside with what's inside . Because there is a long story behind both . And discussing it on social media will probably make matters worse .

  • @mpl-moneypowerlegacy5088
    @mpl-moneypowerlegacy5088 3 года назад +17

    Comparison is the thief of joy - memorable quote
    Tell your own story, don't compare your chapter with the next person...that was so so strong, also your take on the Coco Chanel quote was powerful.

  • @lemontrader5396
    @lemontrader5396 2 года назад +5

    THIS IS MY GREATEST STRUGGLE AND I AM SURE IF I AM ABLE TO GET THROUGH THIS, I KNOW I WILL BE BETTER THAN BEFORE

  • @arjumandbano6333
    @arjumandbano6333 6 месяцев назад +3

    Two magical words"STOP IT"
    STOP COMPARING

  • @coco_dreamer
    @coco_dreamer 3 года назад +11

    Know this is an old video but still so powerful and relevant!! I always say "we always want the opposite" and it's so true... whoever you are, whatever you have, whatever your situation, it seems UNIVERSAL that everyone wants what other's have. But you never truly know the struggles they have been through and have to GO through to be/have/do what they do. So yes this makes perfect sense!!

  • @prwtrain
    @prwtrain 3 года назад +28

    I found this TedTalk very inspiring because I have found myself comparing myself to others without realizing what they did in order to become what I see of them. I also enjoyed the diverse comments including the person who found this irritating while I felt inspired. I love the comment with humor: "I showed this talk to my cat and now she is a lion" which I have actually heard before and is very appropriate. Thank you @Rachel Smets for getting me thinking.

  • @Alliensloveart
    @Alliensloveart 3 года назад +5

    2 words! Stop it.
    Thought she was going to say “Be You” but stop it works too. Thanks for this video! It helps a lot!

  • @zeea6507
    @zeea6507 5 лет назад +16

    Great talk. Create your own story!!! Great points easy to get sucked into the comparison trap especially with social media such as Instagram. I am learning to focus on me and not just others.

  • @ip3931
    @ip3931 2 месяца назад +1

    Fantastic talk.

  • @jenniferbullett7254
    @jenniferbullett7254 3 года назад +5

    Excellent!!!! We all must realize that everyone on this earth has a story to tell.

  • @shibnathroy106
    @shibnathroy106 4 года назад +10

    She is the Queen.

  • @leonoordeijkers8489
    @leonoordeijkers8489 6 лет назад +3

    Wat een waardevolle speech!Dit geeft mensen steun en kan de wereld beter maken.Zo kunnen we elkaar meer gunnen en misschien een beetje beter naar elkaar luisteren.Goed om het zo duidelijk gezegd te hebben!

  • @ebotkerian6772
    @ebotkerian6772 4 года назад +8

    Very inspiring and worth watching over and over.

  • @diandreabrown8711
    @diandreabrown8711 3 года назад +3

    Having one of those days... i rent from my ex in her new house with her partner.. seeing them together sometimes and the way my ex does better now it sometimes gets to me. I allow myself to feel it and then move through it because i know what was sacrificed. I know who I am now its time to build my self again and again.

  • @earlrosthonconsolacion1457
    @earlrosthonconsolacion1457 3 года назад +3

    This is what I needed right now! Thank you!

  • @andreeaelena6021
    @andreeaelena6021 2 года назад +1

    Thank you, you made me feel much better and ready to do something for me to be happy with who I am ❤️

  • @julianeekkart9444
    @julianeekkart9444 3 года назад +2

    Love this talk!

  • @camilasantos9176
    @camilasantos9176 2 года назад +1

    Excellent, I loved this video! Congratulations Rachel!!

  • @fionalauncher1499
    @fionalauncher1499 4 года назад +2

    I love you Rachel you inspired me a lot 😍

  • @coachmarjean
    @coachmarjean 2 года назад +2

    Great explanation on why we lack, thank you.

  • @manishrajias.6569
    @manishrajias.6569 4 года назад +2

    I love that soo much compair ourself with other

  • @n.m6249
    @n.m6249 Год назад

    Simple and so much power in this message

  • @faisalhusein227
    @faisalhusein227 5 лет назад +8

    Very powerful voice you got there mam.

  • @spiritualascentionsociety9394
    @spiritualascentionsociety9394 2 года назад

    Your BRILLIANT!! 👏 👏 👏 THANK YOU RACHEL!

  • @tbonesteak4961
    @tbonesteak4961 3 года назад +2

    Inspirational Talk thank you 🙏🏽

  • @Tennis-3582
    @Tennis-3582 9 месяцев назад

    If it’s a human nature then it will happen constantly 😮😮! Sometimes comparing is the real spark of motivation, if everyone is fulfilled and satisfied with what they have there will be no growth

  • @mamikyogyakarta9837
    @mamikyogyakarta9837 2 года назад

    You inspired me alot Thanks Rachel 🙏

  • @leanaslg7855
    @leanaslg7855 2 года назад

    Great messages, thanks alot. ❤️

  • @DalaiLamaNYF
    @DalaiLamaNYF 5 лет назад +1

    I love her

  • @Daluumarketing
    @Daluumarketing 2 года назад

    Thank you 🙏🏿

  • @elliepeisker7321
    @elliepeisker7321 4 года назад +4

    This genuinely helped me, thank you!

  • @supremeyoms
    @supremeyoms 4 года назад +2

    I really do love this

  • @julia4393
    @julia4393 Год назад

    Thank you so much❤️

  • @LMae-rj9qi
    @LMae-rj9qi 2 года назад +1

    Awesome!

  • @kd4822
    @kd4822 4 года назад +1

    So good

  • @praseetham3232
    @praseetham3232 3 года назад +1

    Great talk

  • @ZubairKhan-hr2bp
    @ZubairKhan-hr2bp 5 лет назад +21

    Apart form the message she has a powerful and effective voice🤓🤓🤓

    • @RachelSmets
      @RachelSmets 3 года назад

      Zubair Khan thanks so very much 😀🙏

    • @mujitabaumar4000
      @mujitabaumar4000 3 года назад

      Zubair khan you have not healed 😂

    • @ZubairKhan-hr2bp
      @ZubairKhan-hr2bp 3 года назад

      @@mujitabaumar4000 i am irreversibly damaged cant be healed 😂😂😂

  • @DK-ox7ze
    @DK-ox7ze 3 года назад +6

    This certainly helped. But most often when I am comparing myself to others, I regret not doing what they did to reach their present. Or I regret not achieving my own dreams that I had set out for myself. Regret for my inactions kills me more than anything else.

    • @coachmarjean
      @coachmarjean 2 года назад +2

      When we live in regret we destroy all hope. Learning is how we can move forward into the face of success.

    • @coachmarjean
      @coachmarjean 2 года назад +2

      Learning from the past gives us the opportunity to move forward. It's never too late to tell our story.

  • @chouu65
    @chouu65 2 года назад

    I need this

  • @florence8290
    @florence8290 3 месяца назад

    perfect

  • @cherrylrahaman2170
    @cherrylrahaman2170 3 года назад

    Inspiring

  • @r.easasvlogs3868
    @r.easasvlogs3868 2 года назад +1

    Great ❤

  • @coachmarjean
    @coachmarjean 2 года назад

    Brick and mortar business owners can be draining if you are truly not fueled by the work. I loved the interaction, the people but not the hours of working. There was no freedom to me. An online business gives me everything 💋

  • @tired_of_everything0
    @tired_of_everything0 5 лет назад +1

    Nice 🙂

  • @ronweisblum6614
    @ronweisblum6614 3 года назад +1

    i dont realy compare myself to others in terms of achivements and external sucsess but rather to their personalety traits if somone has the body or the house i want i would not be botherd too much becouse its a house its a body its a career its not the person himself but when they have a character quallety i feel i lack thats when i feel really bad about myself and like i dont measure up in terms of being likeable and being good enougth as i am

  • @EmilyMutti_
    @EmilyMutti_ Год назад

    I'm crying

  • @ronweisblum6614
    @ronweisblum6614 3 года назад

    including being reconized for their quallties and their talents if we are doing the same stuff

  • @sarahmaria7727
    @sarahmaria7727 3 года назад

    ❤️❤️❤️

  • @animedreams1336
    @animedreams1336 3 года назад

    👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🙌

  • @daniellarabah2162
    @daniellarabah2162 3 года назад

    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @joyeetasarkar99
    @joyeetasarkar99 3 года назад

  • @jesussantini1156
    @jesussantini1156 3 года назад

    👏👏👏👏👏

  • @farshadast5929
    @farshadast5929 3 года назад

    great

  • @tahir1156
    @tahir1156 4 года назад +2

    Beautiful and useful

  • @heyyy7089
    @heyyy7089 2 года назад

    the thing that hurts is when you haven't even done anything they have done at their best like ik it's their best right but it's just like what if i don't feel like my best is as good as theirs yk.

  • @marcobaldacci9933
    @marcobaldacci9933 2 года назад +1

    Is it possible to live a life without a shadow of comparison or measurement coming into it? Aren't measurement, comparison and imitation the major factors of disorder in our society?

  • @SonamSingh-sp6ey
    @SonamSingh-sp6ey 2 года назад

    💙

  • @priyankaguptaa6135
    @priyankaguptaa6135 Год назад

    Very inspiring . Just a doubt is being envious of celebrities also not being ourselves . Did not get this . That when you spend time in comparison you are not being yourself ?

  • @najatarabia741
    @najatarabia741 4 месяца назад

    don't look at others for comparison
    Look at others for inspiration

  • @sm-er8eq
    @sm-er8eq 2 года назад

    i compare myself to celebrities.

  • @sarrabelhaj6373
    @sarrabelhaj6373 4 года назад +9

    i loved it at first but then she started comparing the audience to her,,, you won't feel what i'm feeling or see what i'm seeing !!!!!!

    • @kevkyaw
      @kevkyaw 4 года назад +7

      Sarra Belhaj Apparently, she was trying to make a point that people end up comparing themselves with others while they don’t see all the steps it takes to get to where she is. I personally find this talk very convincing and inspiring. :)

    • @RachelSmets
      @RachelSmets 3 года назад +2

      Kevin Kyaw thank you Kevin for explaining exactly what I was trying to say.

  • @jvolc
    @jvolc 2 года назад

    10:57

  • @FelixTurrionEichler
    @FelixTurrionEichler Год назад

    I find this to be a simplistic way of looking at a complex subject. All the examples she gives are so silly: Envy for achievements without willingness to work hard. That's not where we need a Ted Talk. We need a Ted Talk on how to deal with the kind of envy you feel when you don't achieve half as much in two decades of committed, strategic effort as someone else in one decade of laid back effort. In reality there often isn't this "I have kids but you have adventure" kind of two sides of the coin. The question is how we go about feeling okay when all aspects are better. When you would actually swap. When you are not being lazy. When you've tried it all and it still doesn't work out.

  • @charleshurstreinvention3959
    @charleshurstreinvention3959 Год назад +1

    Most true. The world is rough and mean. As Jordan Peterson said, "the world is against you . . . obviously." But as I told my own subscribers, many times the greatest enemy in life can be yourself. And you make yourself an enemy by comparision to others. If you make 80K a year and have 200K in the investment arenas you will feel badly if you have a friend who makes 250K and has a million in his. But you will feel good about yourself if you compare yourself to someone who makes 30K and has nothing in his accounts. But maybe that 250K person works 80 hours a week and hasn't had a vacation in ten years. The point is, your journey is yours. How much you want to work and gain to get the greatest benefits you can from your short time on earth---and most of those benefits, my friends, are not financial. Hope this helps someone----Charles

  • @ecclecticsayonce5131
    @ecclecticsayonce5131 2 года назад

    Ok but what abt youtubers

  • @v.dargain1678
    @v.dargain1678 4 года назад +1

    Whatever happened to " imitation is the best form of flattery ?"

    • @RachelSmets
      @RachelSmets 3 года назад +4

      V. Dargain you can be inspired by someone which is very flattering but you still have to make it your own story, create your own path. Let’s say you’re inspired by an author, you can flatter him or her, and you can write a book too, it you won’t copy every word, you’ll create your own words with your own vibe to it.
      You’re always at your best when you’re giving your own energy in anything you do, whether you’re speaking, writing, creating videos, courses, books, webinars, presenting, etc.,,,
      Hope it makes sense.

  • @chicagolandable
    @chicagolandable 3 года назад +2

    The cancer of comparison

    • @fafaadam6151
      @fafaadam6151 3 года назад

      It really has become a thing nowadays..

  • @miyoumisworld3810
    @miyoumisworld3810 2 года назад

    Comparing is not fair
    We can't compare apple and orange we just compare similars
    Create your own story
    What i have understood is look at the hard work that people did to achieve their goals and not look at what they are now

    • @amandaa3713
      @amandaa3713 Год назад

      Miyoumis
      Tell that to my fraternal twin who despises me.

  • @johnch5405
    @johnch5405 4 года назад +5

    somehow this is rather irritating to me of all the ted talk I’ve watched

  • @marymorenomariposa
    @marymorenomariposa Год назад

    she seems full of herself