Saving Yourself the Cost of Insecurity | Chantelle Anderson | TEDxVanderbiltUniversity
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 18 дек 2017
- We’re all insecure and it’s costing us. But exactly how much and how do we stop paying for it? In this talk, Confidence Coach Chantelle Anderson takes you on a journey starting with her insecurity - from skipping her first speech to an identity crisis after retiring from the WNBA - and ending in confidently going after her dream career post-basketball. The result is a question and answer process that will help you overcome your own insecurities, building the confidence you need to get out of your own way and live your calling. Chantelle Anderson is a Vanderbilt Alum, former professional athlete and award-winning sales representative turned Confidence Coach.
While at Vanderbilt she became the school’s all-time scoring leader, man or woman, and it’s first 2-time Kodak All-American. She was then selected as the 2nd overall pick in the WNBA draft and has been inducted into both the Vanderbilt Athletics and the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame.
After basketball, Chantelle joined Stryker Medical where she grew her territory from $250K to $3.2M in her first full year on the way to being named the South Central Region Sales Rep of the Year.
Despite all the awards, Chantelle is candid about her struggles with insecurity, self-doubt and even self-sabotage. She treats confidence not as a destination, but as a skill that can be built and maintained just like physical fitness. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
*I can be confident, I can face my insecurities, I can overcome my past, learn from my faults, and love myself.*
❤️
😊
I cried❤️❤️❤️ yes we can
With lots of time yes!
❤☘
"Too many of us are walking around seeing the world through the lenses of our past experiences, not realizing how it's changing our view. It's limiting our opportunities and our ability to be confident in every situation. Are you willing to examine your view to build your confidence?" - Chantelle Anderson 💎💎💎
JustPierre tykes ❤️
This is exactly what I needed, thank you
Questions to ask yourself
1. How do you see fear and how do you deal with it
2. How do your thoughts and feelings of your appearance impact your life
3. How much of your confidence comes from inside instead of outside?
4. If how hard you work was the only factor in your success, would you bet in yourself?
5. Do the people you surround yourself with help you to be confident?
6. Do you enforce your non negotiables?
7. How are yoyr past experiences impacting your present view?
Ask, listen, act
Confidence is a skill. You can build it and when you do, it will be a huge benefit for you.
You will be paying the cost of your insecurity until you pull yourself out of it
You have all you need to get all you need
Thank you so very much for this!!! I was trying to keep up and write it all down 🙏🏽
1. I know the signals & I try to avoid the source
2. They help me judge situations
3. Almost all from the inside
4. Absolutly not
5. People are the problem
6. As possible
7. They shaped them
Now I think I feels worse than before. Thanks for that.
you’re awesome
My lack of self confidence cost me my chance to play college football and the NFL and it still haunts me to this day.
😔
@@jimmykilcomons6438 I want to know too :(
How so?
I feel you
Doubt it.
Insecurity is a real thing! It's hard when those lies tell us that we're not capable. But we are! We an overcome!
I agree 100%
Say you, a handsome light skin guy :)
When i try to be confident, i dont feel like myself😕
Syed Firdaus TRUE
start by being realistic give yourself credit when u do something good and don't put yourself down instead acknowledge what you need to work on in ordre to be more satisfied with yourself
You're probably not used to it yet
Same here
Being confident doesn't mean "acting the way confident people are supposed to act". It means being your true self and being confident in that. You can be introverted and also confident. You can be cautious but also confident. Being confident in who you are should make you feel more like yourself, not less. Feeling like you have to be like x, y, z to be stereotypically "confident" is not confidence. It's the opposite in my opinion!
I wish we were educated about this whole confidence topic in real life, at schools etc.. They always say “be confident” like it is easy, and won’t go deep into your problems to understand what causes you to have insecurities. Now this speech helped me a lot right now especially when she said “ask, listen and act” thank you for that
That's a good point to say we need this in schools. I always thought that they should change the academic curriculum...have math and science and writing (basic skills), but nix the other classes and replace them with mandatory group counseling where people can share their issues in a safe space, how to combat insecurity, how to handle dire situations like homelessness, and a passions class where people can discover their pleasures and skills, like art or poetry
As a life coach and as someone who has been coached by some really really great people...question asking is so important. Tony Robinson says that all our answers come from asking the right questions. If we can ask ourselves those questions that Chantelle mentioned will get to a bottom of the lot of things. Then when we listen to our answers and really get to the core of who we are on the inside, our emotions and our soul, we will begin to see what's going on. Then from there we can take it little by little and change things around because then we'll know who we are and what is holding us back. Then we can be intentional in making changes and we will begin to transform. Boom here comes the confidence!!
This is great. I think about these kinds of things a lot. I remember when I was in 6th grade, I was texting with friends in a group chat and one of them asked all of us what we were insecure about. I specifically remember that I had no idea what the word insecure meant. I was so confident and unapologetically myself that the negative alternative wasn't even in my vocabulary. It's crazy to think back on that experience now with an overwhelming amount of insecurity about myself.
Call Me Miss That'd be lovely
Yeah I know what you mean because I was so confident nothing shook me all through elementary, junior high and high school. I got to college and things began to change in my second year. Part of the mistake that I made was getting married too young and becoming a part of a church where I felt like I wasn't good enough. That is where my confidence began to be shaken.
I spent all my lwhole ife in dought until 2 years ago. The key for me is that I knew I needed to change. I was determined to do whatever it takes to rebuild my self-esteem, and I did it.
I wish I could get to that point. My insecurities are starting to negatively effect my whole life! Smh!
i used to be so confident, until people started saying things to me and mention about my physical appearance , my exes too did so many horrible things to me that it shattered my self confidence and my disease. i don’t know what to do. being insecure has stopped me from doing many things in life
Despite what those people said to you, you have to pick yourself up. Your not responsible for the harsh and unnecessary things they said to you, but you are responsible for how you handle and emotionally react to those things. Start little by little, day by day. Don’t let people who weren’t meant to be in your life from the jump stop you from loving yourself. Your beautiful inside and out. Stand on that and believe it.
Hope ur doing better. I am in the same situation as you but the one ruins my confidence the most is my dad. I'm trying to rebuild myself again
The moment this video started I started thinking omg she is sooo beautiful
The dude is just not fakeing . The finishes of the goals. Beautiful. Magisterial. Love you *Minslegend!.* .🙏🏼
I am going to watch this video at least once a week so I can really learn how to acquire confidence. My insecurities are eating me alive and are so debilitating. This woman is a gem! We may not have the same insecurities at all but it is helpful that someone so successful can relate.
I was able to get through similar when I understood satan was just trying to take my joy! Girl, with God all things are possible.
i am so insecure i remember in freshmen year i always hid my face and i would sweat alot because i was so anxious but now im in sophmore year and it is getting better because i started to go outside alot mostly jogging by myself 5 miles per day and ab workouts, going outside really helped with my anxiety i used to stay home all day and thats why i think my anxiety got worse and stuff
i'm so proud of you and i hope your continuing to get better and better, And just know i'm a sophomore right now and this truly surprised me. so thank you!
WE ALL WERE CONFIDENT ONCE UPON A TIME, in my case past haunts me to another level, those faces, those traumas made me way more insecure and sensitive today that sometimes make me feel so hopeless and empty enough to kill my dreams. And just when you think its getting better one point comes where you get to know that you actually didn't move ahead, that feeling is so devastating. I am searching for solutions to get through this, my confidence, self esteem, self love. Well said lady! I will work on this too ❤️
Its incredible how i am thousands of miles away from her and still feel the same way she does about life and insecurities
Fav line - "I can count on my hands the amount of people who have not believed in me and I have proven every single one of them wrong. So, let me know if I should add you to that list"
🔥
She's a wonderful speaker. Sometimes on these Ted Talks the noises you can hear through the mic, loud swallowing, giggling at themselves, etc..gets so annoying. This speaker is flawless, which just means (for me) I will learn so much more. ❤
Thank you!
When she mentioned the religion she grew up in, my blood ran cold. Look how far she's come! I'm amazed... 💖
I love this I just wish I could remember a time I was confident. Ever since I can remember I’ve always been the shyest person, and in school I’d hardly ever talk because of how nervous I was. I remember when I wasn’t even in school yet and I’d see my parents friends and I’d just be so scared to say hi. Hopefully one day I’ll get there still.
i truly feel that. they always say that u have to go back to the roots of the problem to solve it, but i dont remember when this all started because i’ve never felt fully confident
Hey Samantha! I'm sorry you feel that way. Feel free to private message me if you want to talk more. Maybe I can help :)
Hands down this dude will be recognized as a goat.. this dude has literally saved my life..listening to his work and job I can relate to it.. *minslegend* keep it up and thank you for your talent... 💯
If you once had the confidence to do things and be your honest self, and you can still do so now, then look for the times and occasions you feel comfortable and confident in your skin, in your present moment. Try to connect this to the times you felt similarly to the past. It will help you understand what is driving you, how does your body feels and reacts to the environment around you, and how and why you are that way. Then try and imitate that plan in times of fear and insecurity. Or maybe find out how to recreate confidence by also investing more in the activities that enable it. Like a hobby, a work environment, a skill, an activity, or participating actively in a community.
Maybe it helps. Dunno..
i cannot thank you enough. these are harsh truths, but they're the only way to break through. can't tell you how much you help me
Even tho this seems directed to women, I can say this means a lot to men as well. A lot of us are insecure, and overcompensate for our lack of security in our mind. Which can manifest that thought process without emotion.
I don’t remember how my self-confidence dropped, how I became so insecure and shy in order to tacle the problem. I can’t seem to love myself no matter how many times I watch how-to videos
*Honestly, just owning it and not trying to hide it is partially why I watch you. It's the honorable thing to do and it make the rest of the jobs much more believe when you are call out of the spots like that, so thank you minslegend*
'Are you willing to step up your work to build your confidence" That's a big one. A poor work ethic is detrimental to self confidence.
This can change lives. It's changing me for sure. Thank you for sharing your encouragement.
I truly love this, I’m so inspired by her all the time ✊🏾
Thank you!
I see how it relates to me. I was such a confident kid when I was in elementary school. I talk what I believe, I stand with my opinion. I always the top student, I have lots of friends, I won so many competitions. It is slowly decreasing when I enter high school, I still doing some competition, but i wasn't happy on my performance. Now that I'm in uni, it just feels like its gone. Insecurity got the best of me.
It feels like you are in this world and you will eventually feel insecure, even if you were not born with dreams, but you are living in human society, you will be told right and wrong, and you will feel a sense of gap. In fact, many people's lives are constantly bridging the gap between themselves and others. Do you need this? You do not need. You just see other people chasing and you start chasing too.
ah this speech is just beautiful 😭😭 thankyou so much i really needed this
Thank you for this insight and wisdom. We have to face and tackle our insecurities and you have provided a way to do that.
Thank you for the incredible amount of knowledge. I will try to ask myself these questions and listen to my answers. Then hopefully start taking steps in building my confidence.
I agree that past experiences define our self-image, and our perception of who we are determines our abilities and opportunities in life.
I think, for women, having children and the hardship that comes with it is very humbling and shatters our confidence. Changes in our body, our dreams being put on hold. Losing our freedom and time for ourselves.
WONDERFUL SPEECH. NEEDED THIS!
Watching this in 2021 💪✨ Hope all who feel insecure be able to overcome ✊
Spot on, thank you
This is a fantastically composed and thought-out speech Chantelle. There's so much good advice in here and it's delivered so warmly and confidently. Thank you for these positive and powerful perspectives!
Thanks Brian!
Thank you!
Someone I love, I respect and care for her, many things I love about her her intelligence her strength of mind her pure heart she is much beautiful a person inside and out, truly very special to me... But I'm insecure
thank you! i'll get back to this when i fully become confident. :)
She seems sooo sweet🥺🥺🥺
Wth.. she's so awesome! Her points are so relatable. It helps me a lot. Omg...
What a terrific and engaging speaker. Wonderful lecture
so helpful, thanks!!
😁😭😭 I love this girl, I have mad respect for her. God bless. God bless you.
Brilliant speech that needs to be spread. I didn't realize that we (all) once were confident 😳😱 keep it up 👍
Thank you David!
Love this! Thankyou
I needed this. Thanks
You're welcome :)
Let me tell you a story of my college years. I once knew this chick who lived like a queen. Her man unfortunately felt the need to brag about their possessions. She'd invite me over to their house to smoke. One day I caught her alone. The whole time she never took her eyes off me. Turns out her man was a insecure mess. Me? I was a young, broke, and unemployed at the time. The only thing I had going for me was a strong sense of direction.
this was so helpful in such practical ways! love it
Thanks Sebi!
this is gold.
Love this
Thanks Ife!
Great Public Speaking Skills 🙌🏾
i have a physical insecurity that i can never change. Pimple can be treated, weight can be gained or loss, your hair can be styled perfect, you can get facial surgery, but my insecurity is unchangeable because my insecurity is my very small flat head
She hit it out of the park!
Thank you!
This was so helpful!
They always say be confident ar school but they never teach how🤦♀️
& school is where the majority of my insecurities stemmed from /:
@@afatcat6743 Mine too. Unrequited love, mean girls, guys doing that thing where they take their friend with them and tap you on your shoulder saying "He likes you" whilst pointing to their friend, comparing yourself to your crush's crushes, listening to your crush about the girls they're into, etc. That and the communities you grew up in.
Amazing!
Thank you
This wss great
This video is really helping Me rn
What confidence.. Ma sha allah
Amazing speech👏💗
Thank you!
Wow, She looks and sound amazing. Wise words.
powerful.
Thanks
Love this ❤️ she’s so inspiring.
Thanks Natalie!
@@MissChantelle natalie you killed this speech! Also not to be weird but the pants look fire!
You're amazing!
Thanks Michelle!
Good god this person presents herself as a shining role model, what a pain
I am a man and this is encouraging.
Key takeaways
1. Confidence is a skill. You can build it. If you do, it will change everything in your life
2. Youll be paying the cost of your insecurities until you intentionally focus on building your confidence
3. You have everything you need to get everything you need including confidence. Asking yourself, listening to yourself and taking intentional actions to get back to the person you are created to be.
💗 Thank you for putting these wonderful, simple, clarifying points in writing. 👍
Its a great talk. Summary can't do justice to it
I really need video like this because Im so insecure🥺
i liked her 10 times more after i saw her confidence
I always feel ridiculed, not taking seriously, not valued. Sometimes I laugh about myself cause I think it's a good thing to do, but I don't like people's reaction. It's like they take advantage of it to laugh at me.
But this is only one part. I am insecure about my aspect, about the perception people has of my inner and outer self. And about their judgments.
Society has its prejudices. It doesn't matter how much you believe in yourself. If you don't fit that standard, you will not be enough for them. So I think although we can improve ourselves, a lot of confidence is in the art of not giving a f*ck about people judgments towards the aspects of ourselves we cannot change and keep loving them despite everything and everyone. Which is not easy at all. But still possible.
excellent
💛💛💛
I can be confident I don’t need to be insecure I don’t need to be shy nobody is focused on me jus be confident and you’ll be good 🙃
I have always suspected my wife was cheating on me. We have been married for 12 years now and its been a smooth ride until last year when she changed and started seeing other men. A friend of mine linked me up with a great hacker ultimater Hack who helped me hack into her phone, I had complete access to her phone right on my device and I could monitor all her activities for the past 2years and also have access to new notifications, her location, call logs, text messages and all. I was left with no other choice.I loved my wife so much and I just dont know why she chose to betray me, I have been a good husband and never for once cheated on her. I tracked her down to a hotel where I found her with another man . You can contact them at ultimatehack003 at gmail or Whatsapp +17202954268 or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into her phone without even touching her phone.I have enough evidence against my wife now and I am thinking of Filing for divorce. I want advice from men and other women on here, should I give her another chance because of our kids or file for divorce ? We have a 9 months old baby.
I would like to add a question to those 7 has to do with patience and self control
How much control do you have over your urges?
If you don’t have self control it, you will have a bad self image of yourself and low confidence
I had my insecurities since I was 4 but I don't remember what it feels like I remember why tho well I was bullied
That was good.
I feel like sh*t. I did something that destroyed my self-esteem.
💛
I was born insecure got it from my grandfather. I remember feeling inadequate since I can remember. And I was a cool kid.
Things take time. Hope you're confident and happy now.
but i genuinely don't remember a time in my life even as a tiny child where i didn't feel insecure and ashamed of myself. i've had social anxiety since as long as my first ever memories of being a toddler and now my social anxiety is better but i have d e e p self worth issues. It's weird because i feel like i like myself? but i still don't feel like enough
Heyy :) do you have a good realationship with your Parents? If not maybe try to find another Person in your memory who you spent time with and who had good intentions with you and try to remember the feeling they gave you by smiling playing or comforting you. Surely there were sometimes where you felt a little bit safe or joyful for exemple when reading a book, when somebody smiled at you, watching a comforting movie for children, cuddling with somebody or building a sand castle? Try to find those moments and try to think about them more often. That will help you aknowledging both sides Inside of you.
Insecurity is costly!
3:13 wow
She’s real beautiful and a goods speaker
poweful
wow
I’m trying to get over mine. I’m going through stuff I hope this helps.
Omg ! This lady is me.
Haha nice to meet you twin ;)
You go get yours ladies keep up the good work. Stay strong.
I'm insecure about my smile because i thing its too big, and dont say i need braces cause i got straight teeth. But uh, I feel the need to not smile because it makes me look werid. Even though i want to smile. When ever i start laughing i just randomly do a straight face.
It's ALL an internal game, meaning you have to go WITHIN to let it go. Undo the programming that has caused you to be insecure and create your own self-worth outside of physical appearance. Realize that the only reason you're insecure about your face is because you've been socially conditioned to feel that way, it's not based in reality. Wish you well
Teach a student through video is in the future.
Nice
4:02 Simon T Bailey
Can we be friends?
We can all agree that when He👆🏼 uploads it makes our whole day better❤️. Thanks for the files
I think i 'm having really terible issue with confidence. Many bad things happened to me and now i am kind of some depression. I run away whenever i am fear . Please help me.
I have sosial anxiety and am insecure about my face and have low self esteem. It ruins my life i know deep inside i have many potential but i cannot achive what i want in life becouse of these things.
I am so broken
It's ALL an internal game, meaning you have to go WITHIN to let it go. Undo the programming that has caused you to be insecure and create your own self-worth outside of physical appearance. Realize that the only reason you're insecure about your face is because you've been socially conditioned to feel that way, it's not based in reality. Wish you well