I'm really glad HG that you analyze these real life examples of the narcissistic dynamic. Even though listening to this exchange is stressing me out a bit I'm better able to understand what you mean by pity plays, compartmentalization, challenge fuel. I'm the kind of person that I need to see and hear examples in order for the information to stick in my mind.
This series is ideal for people who have no idea of what they are dealing with. It just shows them the real deal with excellent explanation. No molly coddle explanation for the situation. Excellent series, HG. Thank you❤
It's also an indicator of switching to an objective view. Reframing. Everyone reframes. Probably not a good idea to associate use of 3rd person exclusively with narcissists - could be an oversimplification. For example in the UK it's not uncommon for one to use the pronoun "one" a third person singular deployed to achieve a conversational distance where "you" would be too open to misinterpretation or personalisation.
When I listened to this, I thought my mother was still alive. Her tirades sounded exactly like the mother in the video. What struck me is the inability to have a conversation at any level with her son without raised voices and accusations. So frustrating.
My mom started this behavior when around age 85. She had been a brilliant, talented lady but started arguing, playing victim, and projecting. She was eventually diagnosed with dementia. I have to wonder if part of this narcissist epidemic has something to do with brain deterioration?
This makes me sad. My sister yells at my nephew like this. He's a sweet kid who knows something isn't right but he doesn't know what narcissism is. She controls his life. I keep praying he can escape when he turns 18 and that he doesn't end up with a narc as a grown man.
Wow this is honestly so eye opening. SO much of this behavior is my mother exactly. Especially when I have ever confronted her about any childhood abuse or neglect. She is a Southern Baptist so there was no cursing but there was a lot of mocking, invalidating, fake sobbing and saying she's going to have a heart attack. She also threatened to kick me out, and call the police when I took control of my sister away from her. I have struggled to completely accept that she is a narcissist before but these videos confirm it for me.
I've listened to several of these videos. A thirty year marriage of being told I was the problem, that I didn't even know what I was saying or doing to cause problems. The constant gaslighting, passive-aggressive behavior, being told that I always had to win (defending false accusations) days to weeks of silent treatment, etc. I lived for the love bomb on a roller-coaster of devalue, discard, love bomb. I did not know that was what I was doing, since of course, I was the problem. Not. He finally discarded and divorced me to be with my brother's wife of 30 years and married her. He told me that he did not leave for her, that I know why he left, because I "terrorized" him for thirty years. Whatever little man-boy. Thank you for these videos. I am two and a half years of zero contact and can't be more grateful to be single, safe, and living in peace. My mother was a narc and my therapist states that I married my mother. Not sure how accurate that is, but I hear it and understand. Just listening to these videos is triggering and mentally exhausting, but very helpful and healing. I do share your videos with others trying to understand and recover from this abuse.
I've listened to the advice from here in Australia, Many years ago,in the past. H.G.Tudor gave advice, about this subject, and I've understand this, and walked, up right and away, walked away from both familiar and partner rage attack, Knowing I'm thankful for the advice and your guidance! I'm still single and very happy in myself. After 23 years partner, and 12 years family!
I can't imagine growing up w/ a parent like that....I am very blessed to have had two great parents ...I miss my mom and dad so much ...but WOW , imagine growing up in that environment ... sad
I love this series!!! There is so much information for us to learn, and understand when this is happening, what the hell is going on! This video example is word for word accurate with what you will experience. 🤯 Thank you H G Tudor!! Another great video!!!!
I get so angry listening to this. It’s so frustrating that this woman will never understand think or see what a horrid person she is. It’s really not fair.
OMG! This sounds like my ENTIRE family! The yelling, swearing and putting themselves on a cross. My kids would hear this clip and say, "Oh, sounds like Mama!"
Invaluable education, no doubt... Although the mind is riddled with flashbacks of my family as I listen. But the releif of understanding why, what and when, for all those years, really is such a releif and lightening of the heart. Understanding when to remove yourself is such a valuable gift. For that HG, I thank and salute you. I hope the charity you've inevitably given to potentially millions, will balance out the results of your mindset in action. (Not that you care! 😂😉👍)
What smacked me in the heart with this video is the memory of mind games they play. First it’s about the chicken, Harper wanted that but the Mom blew up. Harper could see her dad trying to intervene, then Harper hears and fears that her Mom is leaving for good, then it’s about hamburgers and dinner not being ready because IPPS didn’t plan ahead. Most likely Harper will re-play this situation and feel like it was all her fault because she wanted chicken. Kids always blame themselves, and I can remember trying to anticipate what might happen and figure out how I could modify my behavior to keep it from happening again. The yelling and screaming, blaming and lack of empathy are bad enough. But add to that the child trying to do things differently to avoid this happening again It is hell. Kids cant GOSO. They are stuck and blame themselves 😢
Heebie-jeebies time with that video. How fortunate are we, to have HG analyze the narcissist in action . Helping make sense and giving insight into narcissism. That lady also reminded me of the character Shelley Winters played in A Patch of Blue.
Wow this reminds me of my grandmother. She really could be scary with her rage. It makes sense why my mother turned out the way she did :( Very triggering. My grandmother treated me like the golden child which i think created resentment from my mother. She had me young and I dont think viewed me as her child. Only one time did i ever recieve this rage from my grandmother snd I will never forget it. She was on the brink if becoming physical. She tried strangling my mother as a child and my grandfather had to pull her off her. Rage is scary because the person has no control over themselves. Over the years I had seen many of her rage outbursts. One cousin used to push her rage and it was terrifying to watch. It did go between rage and crying outbursts. The crying was when she seen her rage wasnt getting anywhere. I loved my grandmother very much but she could really be terrifying. This made me cry. Sometimes i feel were sent messages to help make sense of whats going on in our lives and this i think is one of them.
I think this is one of the most important new series that you've begun making. Do you know what kind of empath the son is in this example? That would be interesting to know. Thank you so much for all you do, sir.
What’s interesting is she fuels herself … the more calm he is, she is challenged by her own out of control behavior. I recall a relationship I had where my IPSS ranted although to him it was something egregious he thought happened or was a job loss, a tangible source. I would just sit there and he would say “ oh you are perfect and I am the bad person losing his temper.” So he was angry at his own anger ( and my refusal to engage.) I shut down when someone loses it. It’s not just legal training. It’s astounding to me like watching an animal in the zoo. I did raise my voice when my son refused to go to school and do his homework a few times due to all the phone calls from the school so I can’t say I always was calm and cool but I look back at those few occasions as ineffective. It’s so ineffective and wrong. To think some people do this for no reason and no basis as a way to live. How awful!
Imagine speaking to your lovely son this way, what a psycho. Then she begins to cry and acts like the victim.. wow. This is twisted! He needs to cut off contact, this is so draining and unhealthy. I would be so embarrassed if I behaved this way, I would want to crawl in a whole out of embarrassment and disgust for myself.
Narcissists are often confused with borderline personality disorders. I'm honestly not convinced that borderline personalities exist. I think it's just a polite way of diagnosing a narcissist.
1000% 🎉 They also repeatedly resort to blackmailkng if they do not get you to do what they want you to do and sometimes, by the tone of their voice you really hear that it is a game for them, a game they relish to play. Blackmailing is definetely one of their modi operandi. Another weapon is that they (all of a sudden) go to their flying monkey saying: "X. said this and that...etc " (sth negative) when you said nothing at all! You did not talk to her. She coldbloodedly invents things to make a mean person out of you in front of her flying monkey. This leads the flying monkey to have a negative image of you and treat you accordingly. They have no scruples using this method whenever it pleases them to do so. Easy nasty win.
The foul-mouthed screamer. Imagine growing up with this abusive behaviour from a parent. No wonder there are so many wounded people in society. They would have no idea they were the victim of a narcissist.
Oh, I knew. I didn't have the vocabulary for it until recently, but I knew my NM had zero empathy, no accountability or boundary recognition, and never ever to give her any challenge fuel.
My sisters and I didn't know until decades later. We had never heard of the word Narcissism until books became available and documentaries on TV. And later therapy and support groups
And unfortunately unless they discover what they were dealing with as a child they grow up to marry abusing people like their parents. I guess it doesn't happen to all people but it did to me. In fact I now believe my narc mother pushed me toward a "relationship" with a fellow narc because she wanted a "son". Worked out well for him too, he got the "mother" he always wanted. I was often wondering why I felt like a third wheel. They both got plenty of residual benefits. Me, was good baby maker and housekeeper and f@#!ing facade manager. God help me. 41 years of marriage and now trying to extricate myself. I wouldn't be surprised if she cut me out of will and gave it all to him and my narc sister (who tried to sleep with him!) What a waste of my life.
I dunno .... i am thinking more from the children's perspective. Both of them are more involved in their drama than in how the children are feeling hearing all of that. My parents would fight like that and it made us feel so helpless and unsure of our own place in the family .... of course my parents were not fighting over cheating but more about how they felt the other should be the spouse they wanted. And we never saw them resolve it ... they would fight real bad one night and then not talk for awhile or use us against the other and then they would suddenly be fine one day and it would last a few weeks until the next fight. They are still married at 73 yrs old though .... and while they did learn to communicate better, it was long after we were grown and on our own .... but they have never acknowledged the damage it did to us ... not even after both of my brothers took their own lives. 😢
So this means that the woman Kim Kosciak in the other Narcissist in Action video, could have been in a state of heated fury with her husband Troy, *before the Cops came* & and then switched to pity play, sobbing etc. when they arrived?
My heart stopped for a moment and I did a double take when saw your page picture. The male looks very much like my ex....and the look of rage is one I was too familiar with....the look he got just before he beat the crap out of me and raped me - only way he could get his two inches up. 9 years worth. Best time ever was when he had me trapped and went to smash my face - I moved my head just in time and his fist went through the fibro wall and hit a supporting bam behind it...his hand got broken....and he wanted me to feel sorry for him!!!!😂😂😂 That recording of mother and son...she actually sounds more like she is drunk.
This series is excellent! Thanks HG. As an American, I can’t help but notice that all the examples in this series are American. lol! Are you trying to tell us something HG? 😅
My son is a narcissist and he would cause so much drama that yes i reacted….now I do not have any relationship with him. His drug use and stealing from me came to a head….they forget how they torment you…. This sounds like reactive abuse after a great loss. My son pulled this record after great abuse and great tolerance….I say you’re wrong this time Ultra and I’m a huge fan….interview me! You will learn something! I can provide proof of no reaction just pure abuse until I’m upset enough that I want him out of my home….im a peaceful person….
Many people act this way for no reason. My sister treats everyone this way without cause. Her words aren't those of someone who has been hurt by the actions of others. She doesn't even explain why she was upset and he can't understand it. If he had done something wrong he would know what it was and try to excuse it.
I do when working in the criminal justice system that children wanted to be with their abusive parents no matter what. I recall prosecuting this big fat greasy haired slob whose beautiful young teenage cheerleader daughter still “ loved him.” I wonder. You would think at 30+ you would want to end the relationship with the abuser. Jane Fonda comes to mind, she yearned for parental love her whole life. Henry was so cold and if you watch On Golden Pond you can see the dynamic not acting but real life. This son wants a closer relationship with this harpy? Disgusting should never been a mother mother? I don’t know why but I know children and I guess adult children yearn for that validation, love and cling to the hope of change that will never be sadly.
Nothing much , until rock bottom is hit , just like an alcoholic or a junkie - they need to come to that knowledge themselves - H. G's channel has been passed to one whom I know , who fits with some of the traits , H.G , covers - it was appreciated , and a good choice from me , as a belated birthday gift . 🤔👍🙂
@@davidarundel6187 Those who suffer from narcissism have a very fragmented personality, no time should be wasted in diagnosing it. By the time they get to suffer from depression they are already pushed to the limit and have already done enormous damage around them. They shouldn't be left to themselves.
Yes, I could hear the dog barking at one point. And I know that dogs are very sensitive to the emotions of their human companions. I remember times when my mom would scream at me, when I was much younger and we still had our first dog, and I would sometimes hold our dog close to me, for comfort. The dog would tremble, and looked terrified.
It’s hard to watch this without further info. HG says she is a narc but one could see having a son who had a drug addiction she suffered for years, stealing from her etc…who just burned the only photo of her late husband. My mind whirls as to how someone could behave this way? But my reaction is always confusion as no one would rant and rage like this unless something egregious happened to them, lowering the empathy. But how in the world without something horrific that happened to her to make her behave this way? But if this is the norm and not a once in a lifetime situation and HG says a frequent occurrence, it’s unreal to me. I would run! Run! Run! It hurts my ears, my heart, my body. It makes the world spin like being in the Willy Wonka tunnel. This son must be used to her tirades . To me it is horrifying. She is nuts. She should be committed. And to think he was probably raised this way. Again I only wish HG would step in and put an end to it. I would love a video where the door knocks and HG walks in. My guess is she was raised this way. The cycle of abuse where screaming and verbal abuse is as natural as the air she breathes where that is a normal form of communication. It sounds like the son will break the chains of abuse. He did not yell back and remained normal somehow. Years of therapy? My mother never yelled like this, but she was great at silence disapproving responses. I think this is worse. Much worse.
How do you know this is a Narcissist though ? I've seen the Narcissist be calm and act like a angel and you'd freak out and lose it. So I'd like to know. More about this.
Have you seen this video Kathy? Is this more in line with how you expect a narcissist to be? ruclips.net/video/Gnq2MQATeO0/видео.htmlsi=u1cYw8oGgvxFbfEb If you go to the playlists, scroll down to 'Midrange narcissist' I think you will find the information you are looking for.
Unfortunately, listening to a recording made by one or other party during an altercation (in this case made by the IPSS) can never be a completely accurate depiction of the situation taking place or how things have escalated etc. That isn't to say that this Matrinarc is not at fault of course (the guilt tripping is off the scale), but the normal actions of the person doing the recording, the IPSS/ACON in this case is not entirely transparent either, due to the recording being done by that ACON -- of course.
I know this will sound crazy but I actually feel sorry for this lady. No doubt she’s a nightmare as a mom. No doubt. But I sense the pain she has is real. She keeps telling him to leave but then she’s paranoid that they (the family) are talking bad about her on facebook. I sense her pain is real. Of course, it in no way excuses her behavior. But to me it’s like she’s lashing out to protect herself. It obviously hurts her that they don’t come see her and talk about her on facebook. I’d be interested to know her childhood story.
I wish people with narcissistic parents or family would give themself permission to walk away and block them from their lives.
I have done it, 26 years ago........
I have and never looked back. It is hard when people don't understand why though.
Best thing I ever did.
I'm really glad HG that you analyze these real life examples of the narcissistic dynamic. Even though listening to this exchange is stressing me out a bit I'm better able to understand what you mean by pity plays, compartmentalization, challenge fuel. I'm the kind of person that I need to see and hear examples in order for the information to stick in my mind.
‘I just want to be loved’ - the perpetual plea of any and all in a ‘relationship’ with a narcissist Never going to happen 😢
This series is ideal for people who have no idea of what they are dealing with. It just shows them the real deal with excellent explanation. No molly coddle explanation for the situation. Excellent series, HG. Thank you❤
It's so weird when narcs talk about themselves in the 3rd person. Like they are not fully associating themselves with themselves.
It's also an indicator of switching to an objective view. Reframing. Everyone reframes.
Probably not a good idea to associate use of 3rd person exclusively with narcissists - could be an oversimplification.
For example in the UK it's not uncommon for one to use the pronoun "one" a third person singular deployed to achieve a conversational distance where "you" would be too open to misinterpretation or personalisation.
When I listened to this, I thought my mother was still alive. Her tirades sounded exactly like the mother in the video. What struck me is the inability to have a conversation at any level with her son without raised voices and accusations. So frustrating.
My mom started this behavior when around age 85. She had been a brilliant, talented lady but started arguing, playing victim, and projecting. She was eventually diagnosed with dementia. I have to wonder if part of this narcissist epidemic has something to do with brain deterioration?
This makes me sad. My sister yells at my nephew like this. He's a sweet kid who knows something isn't right but he doesn't know what narcissism is. She controls his life. I keep praying he can escape when he turns 18 and that he doesn't end up with a narc as a grown man.
Wow this is honestly so eye opening. SO much of this behavior is my mother exactly. Especially when I have ever confronted her about any childhood abuse or neglect. She is a Southern Baptist so there was no cursing but there was a lot of mocking, invalidating, fake sobbing and saying she's going to have a heart attack. She also threatened to kick me out, and call the police when I took control of my sister away from her. I have struggled to completely accept that she is a narcissist before but these videos confirm it for me.
This is such a creative and impactful foray into the narcissistic dynamic.
Honestly, thee Narcissist in Action series is the pinnacle of teaching the behaviors, especially to the uneducated on tbis topic. Bravo HG
I've listened to several of these videos. A thirty year marriage of being told I was the problem, that I didn't even know what I was saying or doing to cause problems. The constant gaslighting, passive-aggressive behavior, being told that I always had to win (defending false accusations) days to weeks of silent treatment, etc. I lived for the love bomb on a roller-coaster of devalue, discard, love bomb. I did not know that was what I was doing, since of course, I was the problem. Not. He finally discarded and divorced me to be with my brother's wife of 30 years and married her. He told me that he did not leave for her, that I know why he left, because I "terrorized" him for thirty years. Whatever little man-boy. Thank you for these videos. I am two and a half years of zero contact and can't be more grateful to be single, safe, and living in peace. My mother was a narc and my therapist states that I married my mother. Not sure how accurate that is, but I hear it and understand. Just listening to these videos is triggering and mentally exhausting, but very helpful and healing. I do share your videos with others trying to understand and recover from this abuse.
I've listened to the advice from here in Australia,
Many years ago,in the past.
H.G.Tudor gave advice, about this subject, and I've understand this, and walked, up right and away, walked away from both familiar and partner rage attack,
Knowing I'm thankful for the advice and your guidance!
I'm still single and very happy in myself.
After 23 years partner, and 12 years family!
I can't imagine growing up w/ a parent like that....I am very blessed to have had two great parents ...I miss my mom and dad so much ...but WOW , imagine growing up in that environment ... sad
reminds me of my ex... I'm convinced that I'm the only one who could endure that disrespect for four years.
Narc in action is the best thing! Thank you!
This is the first time, HG, that you have shown anything remotely like my NM. The RAGE.
For a minute or two, I was back there.
Right????
This is the most accurate explanation of what going on that I’ve ever heard
Very insightful series! It's so good to have examples from real life.
I love this series!!! There is so much information for us to learn, and understand when this is happening, what the hell is going on! This video example is word for word accurate with what you will experience. 🤯 Thank you H G Tudor!! Another great video!!!!
I get so angry listening to this. It’s so frustrating that this woman will never understand think or see what a horrid person she is. It’s really not fair.
..the thing is, I would expect an uneducated outsider to assume he must have done something to deserve it.
OMG! This sounds like my ENTIRE family! The yelling, swearing and putting themselves on a cross. My kids would hear this clip and say, "Oh, sounds like Mama!"
We just can't get this explanation anywhere else. Wow.
Invaluable education, no doubt...
Although the mind is riddled with flashbacks of my family as I listen.
But the releif of understanding why, what and when, for all those years, really is such a releif and lightening of the heart. Understanding when to remove yourself is such a valuable gift.
For that HG, I thank and salute you. I hope the charity you've inevitably given to potentially millions, will balance out the results of your mindset in action. (Not that you care! 😂😉👍)
These are great. One can learn so much by actually seeing and hearing these scenarios, and you break them down like a pro. Thank you HG.
That Was Amazing & So Informative! I Got A Lot Out Of That! Thank You, HG!
I know it’s my emotional thinking, but this is so difficult to listen to. How heartbreaking.
That’s how I felt, too.
What smacked me in the heart with this video is the memory of mind games they play. First it’s about the chicken, Harper wanted that but the Mom blew up. Harper could see her dad trying to intervene, then Harper hears and fears that her Mom is leaving for good, then it’s about hamburgers and dinner not being ready because IPPS didn’t plan ahead.
Most likely Harper will re-play this situation and feel like it was all her fault because she wanted chicken. Kids always blame themselves, and I can remember trying to anticipate what might happen and figure out how I could modify my behavior to keep it from happening again. The yelling and screaming, blaming and lack of empathy are bad enough. But add to that the child trying to do things differently to avoid this happening again It is hell.
Kids cant GOSO.
They are stuck and blame themselves 😢
Sounds just like my late Mother. Thank you HGT for helping me understand both my Mom and ex husband.
Classic example thanks HG
Heebie-jeebies time with that video. How fortunate are we, to have HG analyze the narcissist in action . Helping make sense and giving insight into narcissism. That lady also reminded me of the character Shelley Winters played in A Patch of Blue.
Thank you so much for this video
Wow this reminds me of my grandmother. She really could be scary with her rage. It makes sense why my mother turned out the way she did :(
Very triggering.
My grandmother treated me like the golden child which i think created resentment from my mother. She had me young and I dont think viewed me as her child.
Only one time did i ever recieve this rage from my grandmother snd I will never forget it. She was on the brink if becoming physical. She tried strangling my mother as a child and my grandfather had to pull her off her. Rage is scary because the person has no control over themselves.
Over the years I had seen many of her rage outbursts. One cousin used to push her rage and it was terrifying to watch. It did go between rage and crying outbursts. The crying was when she seen her rage wasnt getting anywhere. I loved my grandmother very much but she could really be terrifying.
This made me cry. Sometimes i feel were sent messages to help make sense of whats going on in our lives and this i think is one of them.
Thanks! I needed something soothing to paint to. :)
I think this is one of the most important new series that you've begun making.
Do you know what kind of empath the son is in this example? That would be interesting to know.
Thank you so much for all you do, sir.
This is such a brilliant example and a great learning tool. I will definitely be sharing this and the second part.
Thank you HG ❤❤❤
What’s interesting is she fuels herself … the more calm he is, she is challenged by her own out of control behavior. I recall a relationship I had where my IPSS ranted although to him it was something egregious he thought happened or was a job loss, a tangible source. I would just sit there and he would say “ oh you are perfect and I am the bad person losing his temper.” So he was angry at his own anger ( and my refusal to engage.) I shut down when someone loses it. It’s not just legal training. It’s astounding to me like watching an animal in the zoo. I did raise my voice when my son refused to go to school and do his homework a few times due to all the phone calls from the school so I can’t say I always was calm and cool but I look back at those few occasions as ineffective. It’s so ineffective and wrong. To think some people do this for no reason and no basis as a way to live. How awful!
I feel sorry for the son, there’s no winning with his mother. I hope he has good friends now and finds a good woman to love him someday.
Why would he even be there.....
Imagine speaking to your lovely son this way, what a psycho. Then she begins to cry and acts like the victim.. wow. This is twisted! He needs to cut off contact, this is so draining and unhealthy. I would be so embarrassed if I behaved this way, I would want to crawl in a whole out of embarrassment and disgust for myself.
This rage reminds me more of Borderline Personality Disorder. Absolutely out of control behaviour.
Narcissists are often confused with borderline personality disorders. I'm honestly not convinced that borderline personalities exist. I think it's just a polite way of diagnosing a narcissist.
HG this is really great stuff. This is exactly what I’m dealing with now. Thank you so much for creating this. It’s unbelievably helpful.
He really should have walked out, there was nothing to be gained in staying and listening to her.
He should have left the first time she asked him to leave. I could not have stayed for that abuse.
I suppose it’s different for empaths but I don’t think I’d have a problem in instituting a no contact regimen with this woman
Yeah, it'sreally easy to go no contact with someone else's mother 🙄
When it's family, it's a bit harder
@@FreeBrunoPowroznik HG did say that a normal would leave the situation .
@@Aashka_The_Mystic I can understand that , but as Doug mentioned multiple times , he had to do that with his mother
@@FreeBrunoPowroznik plenty of people walk away from their own narcissistic mothers = the point that woodshed you.
Apparently she did have some breath left. Unfortunately. That poor man, having that for a mother.
No way would I be listening to all that bull shit off my Mother. I would be out the door and that would be it!
Wow. Poor guy. She is sick sick sick.
😳😮😅🤦 What a toxic environment! 😥
Insanely awful to hear😵💫 but great education.
Thanks HG!
1000% 🎉 They also repeatedly resort to blackmailkng if they do not get you to do what they want you to do and sometimes, by the tone of their voice you really hear that it is a game for them, a game they relish to play. Blackmailing is definetely one of their modi operandi.
Another weapon is that they (all of a sudden) go to their flying monkey saying: "X. said this and that...etc " (sth negative) when you said nothing at all! You did not talk to her. She coldbloodedly invents things to make a mean person out of you in front of her flying monkey. This leads the flying monkey to have a negative image of you and treat you accordingly.
They have no scruples using this method whenever it pleases them to do so. Easy nasty win.
ACON! First time hearing that. Nice.....I mean not, but you know. 😗
The foul-mouthed screamer. Imagine growing up with this abusive behaviour from a parent. No wonder there are so many wounded people in society. They would have no idea they were the victim of a narcissist.
Oh, I knew. I didn't have the vocabulary for it until recently, but I knew my NM had zero empathy, no accountability or boundary recognition, and never ever to give her any challenge fuel.
@froggie680 me too!
@@froggie680Excellent name. People also call me Froggy. Different spelling but still a great name.
My sisters and I didn't know until decades later. We had never heard of the word Narcissism until books became available and documentaries on TV. And later therapy and support groups
And unfortunately unless they discover what they were dealing with as a child they grow up to marry abusing people like their parents. I guess it doesn't happen to all people but it did to me. In fact I now believe my narc mother pushed me toward a "relationship" with a fellow narc because she wanted a "son". Worked out well for him too, he got the "mother" he always wanted. I was often wondering why I felt like a third wheel. They both got plenty of residual benefits. Me, was good baby maker and housekeeper and f@#!ing facade manager. God help me. 41 years of marriage and now trying to extricate myself. I wouldn't be surprised if she cut me out of will and gave it all to him and my narc sister (who tried to sleep with him!) What a waste of my life.
I dunno .... i am thinking more from the children's perspective. Both of them are more involved in their drama than in how the children are feeling hearing all of that. My parents would fight like that and it made us feel so helpless and unsure of our own place in the family .... of course my parents were not fighting over cheating but more about how they felt the other should be the spouse they wanted. And we never saw them resolve it ... they would fight real bad one night and then not talk for awhile or use us against the other and then they would suddenly be fine one day and it would last a few weeks until the next fight. They are still married at 73 yrs old though .... and while they did learn to communicate better, it was long after we were grown and on our own .... but they have never acknowledged the damage it did to us ... not even after both of my brothers took their own lives. 😢
28:08 HG Tudor, how do I deal with a narsisist that keeps on reinventing the past?
Today's destination: Guilt Trip City
Where does HG get these recordings from ????
Thx for this video , My mom in the Netherlands do also as the mom in the video. brrrrrrr
Same drama bizar,
So this means that the woman Kim Kosciak in the other Narcissist in Action video, could have been in a state of heated fury with her husband Troy, *before the Cops came* & and then switched to pity play, sobbing etc. when they arrived?
Hg, what is the type of narcissist that is more likely to commit murder? Lessers?
That would be my best guess, though there might be some Greaters or Upper Mid Rangers who might hire someone else to do the job for them.
Where’s Uncle Junior?
My heart stopped for a moment and I did a double take when saw your page picture. The male looks very much like my ex....and the look of rage is one I was too familiar with....the look he got just before he beat the crap out of me and raped me - only way he could get his two inches up. 9 years worth. Best time ever was when he had me trapped and went to smash my face - I moved my head just in time and his fist went through the fibro wall and hit a supporting bam behind it...his hand got broken....and he wanted me to feel sorry for him!!!!😂😂😂 That recording of mother and son...she actually sounds more like she is drunk.
Clearly, the ACON should go. It is problematic that he doesn't. Hopefully he gets help to GOSO.
This series is excellent! Thanks HG. As an American, I can’t help but notice that all the examples in this series are American. lol! Are you trying to tell us something HG? 😅
My son is a narcissist and he would cause so much drama that yes i reacted….now I do not have any relationship with him. His drug use and stealing from me came to a head….they forget how they torment you…. This sounds like reactive abuse after a great loss. My son pulled this record after great abuse and great tolerance….I say you’re wrong this time Ultra and I’m a huge fan….interview me! You will learn something! I can provide proof of no reaction just pure abuse until I’m upset enough that I want him out of my home….im a peaceful person….
Many people act this way for no reason. My sister treats everyone this way without cause. Her words aren't those of someone who has been hurt by the actions of others. She doesn't even explain why she was upset and he can't understand it. If he had done something wrong he would know what it was and try to excuse it.
I wonder if there is not some dementia involved in this. Reminds me of my mother in law
I do when working in the criminal justice system that children wanted to be with their abusive parents no matter what. I recall prosecuting this big fat greasy haired slob whose beautiful young teenage cheerleader daughter still “ loved him.” I wonder. You would think at 30+ you would want to end the relationship with the abuser. Jane Fonda comes to mind, she yearned for parental love her whole life. Henry was so cold and if you watch On Golden Pond you can see the dynamic not acting but real life. This son wants a closer relationship with this harpy? Disgusting should never been a mother mother? I don’t know why but I know children and I guess adult children yearn for that validation, love and cling to the hope of change that will never be sadly.
Question: What do you suggest people with unhealthy narcissism do?
Nothing much , until rock bottom is hit , just like an alcoholic or a junkie - they need to come to that knowledge themselves - H. G's channel has been passed to one whom I know , who fits with some of the traits , H.G , covers - it was appreciated , and a good choice from me , as a belated birthday gift . 🤔👍🙂
@@davidarundel6187 Those who suffer from narcissism have a very fragmented personality, no time should be wasted in diagnosing it. By the time they get to suffer from depression they are already pushed to the limit and have already done enormous damage around them. They shouldn't be left to themselves.
The dog’s also a victim
Yes, I could hear the dog barking at one point. And I know that dogs are very sensitive to the emotions of their human companions.
I remember times when my mom would scream at me, when I was much younger and we still had our first dog, and I would sometimes hold our dog close to me, for comfort. The dog would tremble, and looked terrified.
She sounds like Tony Soprano's mom....🤔
It’s hard to watch this without further info. HG says she is a narc but one could see having a son who had a drug addiction she suffered for years, stealing from her etc…who just burned the only photo of her late husband. My mind whirls as to how someone could behave this way? But my reaction is always confusion as no one would rant and rage like this unless something egregious happened to them, lowering the empathy. But how in the world without something horrific that happened to her to make her behave this way? But if this is the norm and not a once in a lifetime situation and HG says a frequent occurrence, it’s unreal to me. I would run! Run! Run! It hurts my ears, my heart, my body. It makes the world spin like being in the Willy Wonka tunnel. This son must be used to her tirades . To me it is horrifying. She is nuts. She should be committed. And to think he was probably raised this way. Again I only wish HG would step in and put an end to it. I would love a video where the door knocks and HG walks in. My guess is she was raised this way. The cycle of abuse where screaming and verbal abuse is as natural as the air she breathes where that is a normal form of communication. It sounds like the son will break the chains of abuse. He did not yell back and remained normal somehow. Years of therapy? My mother never yelled like this, but she was great at silence disapproving responses. I think this is worse. Much worse.
How do you know this is a Narcissist though ? I've seen the Narcissist be calm and act like a angel and you'd freak out and lose it. So I'd like to know. More about this.
Have you seen this video Kathy? Is this more in line with how you expect a narcissist to be?
ruclips.net/video/Gnq2MQATeO0/видео.htmlsi=u1cYw8oGgvxFbfEb
If you go to the playlists, scroll down to 'Midrange narcissist' I think you will find the information you are looking for.
Is this woman single? Mrs. Frog and I have been looking to experiment and this woman would certainly turn up that heat.
Remove the swearing, add some physical attacks and that was my mother!
Unfortunately, listening to a recording made by one or other party during an altercation (in this case made by the IPSS) can never be a completely accurate depiction of the situation taking place or how things have escalated etc. That isn't to say that this Matrinarc is not at fault of course (the guilt tripping is off the scale), but the normal actions of the person doing the recording, the IPSS/ACON in this case is not entirely transparent either, due to the recording being done by that ACON -- of course.
This is reactive abuse not narcissism
Exorcist.
I know this will sound crazy but I actually feel sorry for this lady. No doubt she’s a nightmare as a mom. No doubt. But I sense the pain she has is real. She keeps telling him to leave but then she’s paranoid that they (the family) are talking bad about her on facebook. I sense her pain is real. Of course, it in no way excuses her behavior. But to me it’s like she’s lashing out to protect herself. It obviously hurts her that they don’t come see her and talk about her on facebook. I’d be interested to know her childhood story.
I believe her pain is absolutely authentic as well. And in this instance we see her experiencing it entirely at her own insistence.