Getting Scammed by a Narcissist | Friend
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 1 дек 2021
- I know we haven’t talked in a while, quick update from a friend perspective. Not a fun or uplifting one, but necessary to move forward.
Anyone who has dealt with pathological liars/narcissists will 100% relate to this.
Cheers,
Josh
![Natanael Cano - Ya Te Olvidé [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xLig8I91SJQ/mqdefault.jpg)
My own mother stole all my money and hid my bank statements for 4 years while I worked 3 jobs and got straight A’s in high school. When I caught her she threw the papers at me and essentially told me it was my fault. The world is full of narcissists and sociopaths. It’s hard to get a grip sometimes.
Wow man, that's horrific.
My mom took my money too when i was a kid. We were wealthy too.
A toxic friend is infinitely worse than being lonely.
So true. Many of my old "friends" made me feel much worse than being lonely. They laughed at me and then they called themselves my "friends". Since I didn't have other friends I stayed with them for a while until I got sick of their attitude and stopped hanging out with them. I don't have friends anymore but I don't regret it.
2 Cardinal Rules
1. Never buy a car off of a friend
2. Never rent an apartment or a house from a friend .
Because once a friendship becomes a business arrangement, the friendship is over if something goes wrong.
True story
YES YES YOU HAVE TO LEARN THE HARD WAY
You can add don't live with a friend to that too. I just learned the hard way after 1.5 years of living with a manipulative psychopath who didn't rear his ugly head initially then as the months went by turned into a monster.
@coupleofbeers31 , sorry to hear, some of my best roommates were friends. Never move in with a stranger unless u have to. They were the worst roommates!
Never do business with friends either
True facts. Going through this now.
35 and also struggling with this. I have hard time reconciling my current life with my past one. I used to have so many friends and now I've had none for so long that it has transformed my personality in a way that I really don't like. This is not a good way to live imo. Hope things turn around for us.
I really like how you try to record your stories in one take. I can't stand when people over edit their videos. It seems much more personal when you leave in the gaps while you are trying to find the words. 💜
so true!! overediting in "unhuman"!
RIGHT!?!
I agree 100%! I appreciate this type of content more as it's from the heart, pure and unadulterated. Love his ability to be vulnerable with all his videos, he's helping so many people
Especially when they cut out every pause between sentences, super jarring
Be careful, you sound like a very empathic person. I’ve found through my travels in life that narcissists can detect empathetic people and try to attach to them or use them for financial or personal gain using their lies and manipulations. Don’t let that change who you are but use this experience to have your antennas up and watch out for people like that. Good luck 👍
I agree. Had to do with a narcissist if they don’t need you anymore they throw you away immediately
@@FrancescaBettiMusic it is sad but true!
I think that's true. I've also been through that. You later realize these people are just using you for their own financial gains
Wow. I did not see this coming. It’s tough when you’re already struggling with friendships and then you put yourself out there and get burned. I hope you don’t give up though.
I think that's what made it a bigger bummer, especially because he seemed like a cool dude at the start. Thank you for being so kind
That's happened to me countless times, that's why I give up
@@Sterling13 It happened to me many times too. Not scam every time, but some other betrayal, such as envy.
Really crappy when it's already difficult for someone to make friends and then you open up and have an experience like this. I'm so sorry
Moral of the story : people are garbage - it's better to be alone.
I've found out through experience that the quickest way to lose a friend is to loan them money. You can help friends volunteering to help them, giving them things as gifts, but when money is involved and they owe you money, it tends to kill friendships.
Unfortunately, I have had WAY TOO MANY such experiences where I thought someone was a “friend”, but come to find out that they were just using “ friendship” as a tool to manipulate a situation to their benefit. Sad to say. That’s why I am my own best friend, because it’s safer & more reliable for me to have my own best interests at heart. 😊
I am currently trying to work through similar energy. My ex husband stole $200K from our home equity 11 years ago and now my sister stole the valuable family heirlooms from my moms home when she died last year. Aside from my special needs son, my sister was the only family I had left. Everyone else has passed away. Having been betrayed by two of the closest people to me, it makes it really hard for me to trust my own judgement now when choosing relationships, friendship or otherwise. I’ve always thought the best of people and believed them, unless I’m proven otherwise. But why do I have to be totally slapped in the face before I realize I can’t trust them. Now I don’t trust others because I don’t feel I can trust my own instincts. I’m trying to work on that, but it’s been very challenging.
For what it’s worth… my own mother hid my bank statements and stole all my money while I worked 3 jobs in high school. When I caught her she threw the papers at me and screamed at me as if it was my fault she stole from me… her child. People can be absolutely terrible and it’s heartbreaking. Then you look at the world these last couple years… it’s hard to get a grip sometimes.
@@Mike-gu6ku man, I’m so sorry this happened to you. Being betrayed by your own mother should NEVER happen. Mothers are supposed to be the one person you can trust. The person who is always looking out for you. If she was struggling to pay the bills I’m sure she could have just had a discussion with you asking you to help contribute to expenses. Stealing from you… I just don’t understand that. I’m so sorry.
@@soul2soul399 yeah that’s what I told her. I would have given her all my money no questions asked. But she stole it instead. I later found out she has a history of stealing from family members and she got fired from the bank for stealing as well. She should have been in prison but they chose not to press charges. That’s an important lesson I learned later in life… it’s not virtuous to let someone get away with a transgression against yourself because in doing so, you become complicit in every act of harm that comes after you. You had an opportunity and an obligation to deliver a consequence and instead turned the bad actor loose on someone else. You will suffer until you stand up for yourself, and for good reason.
The point is "this is how humans behave." That's powerful.
Thank you for sharing that, very true!
Josh I am so so sorry this happened to you. This sounds absolutely awful. You shouldn't be embarrassed about having an open heart; it's why we all like you. Some people just gotta be dicks...
Thank you for the kind words, Joe!
My parents and a friend of mine both said the exact same thing. “I wanted to help…” I think that was the key to getting taken advantage of. You may have to be firm when it comes to money and business.
This was the one and only time I've been that flexible, lesson learned! Thank you, Enrique
Josh, I understand your frustration - it’s valid. No need to be embarrassed. You and Emily are good people and you’re going to find your tribe. I’ve lost so many friends, I’ve been betrayed so many times… I won’t give up. I’m moving in about a week (I’ll be 3 hours away from my only true friend, an ex boyfriend) but I am going to force myself to get out and meet people. Each time we learn a lesson like this, we get better at paying attention/listening to red flags and gut instincts.
Hi Josh! Sending much love. We've missed ya.
Hey, man! Missed y'all as well
Mate I know how stressful renting a place out can be. Please don’t mix business with friends or family through, it doesn’t work. Put it behind you, learn from it and move forward. Best wishes x
I’m sorry this so called “friend” scammed you. I will never understand human beings. I have a niece with a personality disorder(narcissistic and manipulative, gaslighting, etc). It is so frustrating and stressful to deal with. I have no close friends other than my husband, kids and sister. I have a few casual friends/acquaintances. Because I have been so hurt by past relationships, I tend to shut people out and also I am an introvert. Social situations with small talk cause me anxiety.
I can relate to all of this.
I'm so sorry to hear, those traits are extremely challenging to navigate around because I'm sure when you let your guard down, you get burned by them as well. I hope you're able to try and move through your opportunities with anxiety as well.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this, don't blame yourself! There are some really manipulative people out there, they are going to be that way no matter what and its not a reflection on you. Thank you for sharing your story and I hope you meet some wonderful people soon! Take care :)
I'm glad to see you back on here as I was getting worried because you hadn't posted in a bit.
Sorry to hear about this. At least the truth has come out though and you know the sort of person he is. Don't let this deter you either, there are plenty of good people in this world and you will find them.
Sorry to hear you went through this, as someone who experienced a personality disordered former boss it is an extremely disorienting experience (gaslighting, scapegoating, etc...) that I'm still recovering from. It's unfortunate toxic/ narcassistic people prey on empathic and decent individuals. Learned the hard way not to ignore my instincts about others and to establish boundries.
Do not beat yourself up over this though and don't give up. You deserve to have good friends.
Josh, your first video popped up tonight from about a year ago and a big thank you from all of us to you! I really think a big part of what you’re going through isn’t just about you, I think you have the heart and the wherewithal and ability to start reaching out to children and teenagers going through this. You went through this when you were younger and there are so many out there that are needing to hear from you, you are a good speaker and it comes from your heart I think you need to reach out to them and offer to speak to different schools or organizations. The doors are going to open up and you are going to find answers that you will not find any other way and incredible healing for yourself. You’re going to teach others to heal as well💙💚
Wow. I'm so sorry, Josh. I can completely sympathize and understand. I went through probably one of the worst experiences in my life regarding an ex-friend who was absolutely a narcissistic. It took me a long time to get away, but not only that, to heal. I moved to a new city without knowing anyone, and probably had never felt so alone as I did at the time. Through that experience, it did help me grow, and I have (as well as you, I'm sure) have become a much stronger person because of that. I hope you find healing, and better people. They are out there, even if it seems rare or are hard to find. Anyone can tell you are such a good person, especially through your videos and experiences, and hope only for the best for you!
Hi Josh, good to see you again! I am really sorry to hear that this happened to you. I think this is why so many of us with little or no friends are so hesitant to open up to people. :( I say good riddance to this "friendship"... it sounds like the trash took itself out. I have no doubt that true, honest and genuine friends will come to you and show you the respect you deserve. Hugs to you and Emily!
That's rough man. You put yourself out there as a friend and were deceived and taken advantage of, that hurts. Take some time to regroup, but don't dwell on him too much--that guy was an anomaly. I've had my kindness and sincerity taken advantage of before. You gotta realize that he has his issues he needs to figure out, and you very likely made him a better person by being kind and being a friend to him, even if all you can think of right now is how it all ended, and how he betrayed your trust. Keep being yourself and put yourself out there if possible. I'd definitely grab a beer with ya if I were in your neck of the woods. God bless
That's a very optimistic way to see it and I appreciate that! I hope he improves after this. Thank you, Spence!
Thank you for sharing and making your videos, it’s really nice that you put these out for others to relate to! The biggest thing I’ve learned is that you allow others to show you how they should be treated. As in be generous to those that are that to you. Those that talk of others behind their back, don’t share about your personal stuff with them. People who speak or treat others unkindly are ones that should be no more than an acquaintance. I used to use the term “friend” loosely, but realize that many “friends” are simply acquaintances - my kindness used to be taken advantage of as well.
Sorry to hear all that you and your family have gone through! People can be disgusting sometimes. Fingers crossed you'll encounter someone awesome soon!!
Thank you, man!
It's a process i think! Each time you will get a better match!
It's a process i think! Each time you will get a better match!
Hey Josh, I really feel for you bro. And I applaud you for being willingly vulnerable about the confusion and frustration you're feeling.
I remember some of the crappy friendships I've had in the past and ways I've been taken advantage of. It sucked!!! But those memories are vastly overshadowed by the truly good friends I've had at different times - they've made lasting positive impact on my life.
I have huge respect for you man. I know you'll persevere and I believe better friends are coming down the pipe for you - I'm praying for it.
We've missed you!! Glad you're back
Came across your channel couple weeks ago and watched a few vids thus far.
You hit the nail for me.
Had a rough time from about 9-14/15 im 49 now.
Caused a lot of mental issues for me, I wont talk about.
Its hard to talk about even to my wife.
Also due to these issues have had few friends and used by a lot too (watched that vid - yep)
Thanks for the vids man, helps to hear it from someone else.
It sends me into some dark places sometimes and sometimes im not sure if I can get out.
Hey Josh I am so. VERY sorry you had that happen you,man this really upset me no end there sure are some crummy people out there you just rise above this and move on ,I know things will get better .I am always so pleased to catch your videos hang in there and take care for now!
I'm sorry that happened to you Josh. I can tell you're just disgusted inside, because the one time you allowed yourself to be vulnerable to a new "friend", you ended up getting burned. I definitely know what that's like; however, don't close up to new potential 'honest" friends, because I know it'll eventually happen for you.
Thank you for saying that, I'm hopeful as well! Cheers
Their loss.. you are an amazing soul ❤️
This was huge. And I, like so many here, appreciate you sharing.
You ever make your way down under post-covid, my place is yours.
You are a good person. Be positive. There are nice people out there.
That's very very good that you posted this video coz a lot of people dont realise that not everybody who's nice to you want to be your true friend.. unfortunately pathological liars, narcissistics etc exist and they will use that you're lonely, empathetic, looking for friends etc so you must be careful but at the same time dont let that experience define your view of others coz there are good people on this planet as well and you are the perfect example of that Josh!! :) I think before looking for friends it's good to work on your self esteem and self respect so you won't allow others to disrespect you and to understand that not everybody deserves to be your friend..
Josh, you are not alone. My situation is similar to yours. I have always justified my situation by telling myself, that because of my past, I don’t have the “tools” / experience to make friends.
I actually thought about you yesterday. Just I wonder how you were doing. So I was happy to see you uploaded. I was not happy when I saw the title because I knew the story was going to be rough and that it would turn you off to the whole friend making thing. I could tell your just a guy of your word. If you say you’ll do something you’d do it. (Sometimes to a fault) I’m that way myself. Which is one of the reasons I tend to be pretty cautious with who I truly let in. I’m really sorry that this was your experience with this guy. We expect other people to be like us with how we treat people and sadly that’s not the case.
I don’t really have any much advice at the moment. I’m angry for you. I will say that if you don’t fully feel like trying to jump back in the friend making mode, don’t. Taking that experience into another potential friendship too soon might not be good. I know if I did I’d just be kind of paranoid the whole time. So if you want a break…take it. I agree, the old fashion way might be the best route. It’s been that way for me looking back. Just asking to go to lunch or whatever is always a good start.
If you ever visit Knoxville, you definitely have a friend here. ✊🏾
Hey Michael, always good to see you. I think you're spot when you say you expect people to treat you how you treat them - if everyone thought that way we'd have a much more pleasant life. Cheers, bro
There’s nothing to be shamed of . Your a very trustworthy kind guy who’s been taken advantage of . You will find friends just take it slowly. Love the vids . Sending love and hugs from across the pond x
Yes, people are like this all the time
Which is why I do not want to have friends anymore. Because they always bring in problems. Even when they are not as bad as this. It seems impossible to find 'real' people anymore.
This is what meant with my comment on your first video on this topic. People are like this all the time, in small or large ways.
And those who are real, genuine, loyal people are so rare, that THEY feel like something is wrong with THEM. but it is the other way around bro, there is something reallh wrong with people nowadays. Which is why you can't connect with anybody. Because your kind is a rare gem nowadays.
Hey Josh, Thanks for sharing - ur amazing, stay strong and healthy !
Sending love from germany 🤍
Josh, Thank you for sharing your experience with this person. You are still loved and valuable despite this person's actions. Yes, it does hurt and it does make a person not want to risk being hurt again. Keep pressing on. There's people out there that will love you for you. I appreciate what you've shared with everyone about your anxiety and making friends. I wish you the best!
Thank you so much for the kind words, I'll most definitely keep moving forward for my own sake. Cheers!
Gosh, I'm fuming just listening to this story. I think most people have "friends" like that to varying degrees including myself. Kudos to you for being able to keep a cool head throughout the whole situation. Hope this incident won't deter you from finding better, quality friends!
Agreed, I think keeping myself composed helped it from devolving into something worst. Thank you!
You're an amazing, caring, upstanding man. Keep on, keeping on. I've been through this too. Good hearted people sometimes have trouble seeing people for who they are rather than rose colored glasses. Bless you
I really hope you are able to try again, Josh, and I'm so sorry you've been through this. It would be hard for anyone, but particularly when you've worked so hard to get to this point. I promise there are so many other potential friends out there who won't be like this, and one day it'll look like a minor blip on the way to some really special friendships. God bless you!
Thank you, Simon!
Hey Josh, glad to see you! I was so shocked to read the title of this video! I appreciate how hard it is to speak about this experience objectively and simultaneously honour your boundaries. I'm sorry you were tangled with a narcissist. Hope you feel better soon
Thank you for the thoughtful words! Have a great evening
Thanks for posting this video. I also had a similar "toxic" friend that I thought was a real friend. Once I got rid of this person, I also started distrusting anyone. It's been very difficult for me to make another real friend since then. But, I still keep on trying, so good luck to you too.
Josh, it is so nice to hear you again, glad to know you & Emily are safe, what a beautiful wife you have. Take Care ! Thank you for the video, it was good to get that out for you ! Susan
It truly hurts doesn't it? 😔When someone takes advantage of your kindness. I felt the hurt and exasperation in your pauses (sending you hugs from Malaysia). From your videos before, you had spoken about your own struggles making friends and then to have this happen to you. Such a bummer.
In any case, I do hope you have managed to process this experience and move forward from the hurt and betrayal of this person. There are going to be better people in the future!
missed ya.. we definitely can see n feel your frustrations Josh.. sorry that situation occurred.. hope the next friend is excellent in comparison..
hugz to Emily..
Welcome back Josh!
You're doing good, you're doing great! Commencement speaker once said:. "If you remember nothing else I have said today, remember to laugh in the face of adversity"! Some of the best advice I ever got. 😆
P.S. True friends do NOT take advantage of friends!
So true! The way people move through adversity is telling, so I'll do my best not to let up due to one person. Cheers!
Welcome back! Sorry you had to go through that.
This is unbelievable Josh . Don't let that fool ruin any future friendship for you we all live and learn every day . Wrap it up and move on bro 👍
Hi man, just listened to your story. Understandably frustrating. Happens to people all the time from friends, relatives etc. And as much as we want to isolate ourselves from these pitfalls, one thing is guaranteed: people will let us down and disapooint us along the way. But not all people. So the best thing is to live with a phylosophical, forgiving, open attitude and not spend too much time stressing about people like that or events like that or let their behavior detract from the good stuff in life. Life is too short to waste a moment more than necessary on ppl and events like this. Hopefully we learn from it, and next time there are warning signs beware. But don't blame yourself, we don't think like these people so we assume everyone is well meaning and honest. Even with people who are decent and well meaning, friendships can be volatile and require committment and they go through ups and downs. If we are really lucky, we'll meet one or more lifelong friends who become our soulmates. I am so lucky to have two such friends. I was also so fortunate to have had a lot of fun loving, interesting friends who enriched my life and whose company I enjoyed and enjoy immensely and have had lots of fun times, holidays, weekends away, going out, great fun friends who love to go out and have fun. Not all relationships/friendships have to be deep and spiritual. We need a bunch of diverse people around us. I am attracted to people with a great sense of humor who are fun loving, that elevates my mood and reminds me to look at the funny side of life because as much as I love laughter and fun, like you, I tended to be deeply affected and disillusioned by some events and people and spend way too much time ruminating over it, or the purpose of life, or the not so great side of human nature, or all the injustices in the world. I have been through all that and I have learned that life is way too short to ruminate over stuff or feel guilty or try too hard to avoid disappointments in the future. If you interact with people at work, socially, casually, romantically, ups and downs are inevitable no matter what age, no matter your intelligence, we just need to find a way to deal with those without allowing them to bring us down or discourage us. Don't sit there and say to yourself: this will never happen to me againm It will. But say to yourself: when it does, I won't be surprised, and focus on your trustworthy friends and partner and family. Disappointments are inevitable but in the big scheme of things it's just small stuff and it's all small stuff. I am not saying don't be careful by any means but don't let it close your heart and your mind, embrace the world and people in it and spread love and kindness unconditionally and you will attract like minded people and weed out the ones you don't need in your life but that requires kisding a few frogs along the way - there's no way around it. The only way to never get disappointed again is to never let people in your life again and that's okay too. Who says that you can't live a full happy life without having friends other than online friends? Having friends is a committment and it's time consuming and investment of yourself and sometimes you move away, some friendships are temporary - that's okay too.
I honestly met a lot of great people who I'd love to have in my life but it requires a lot of time and effort and energy but I try to keep in touch and I have a few rules: If you get invited, never decline unless you have to. And when you show up, don't expect people to make you feel welcome and entertain you- you make them feel good and entertained, if it's a party, a celebration, have fun and elevate it, catch up, keep it positive. It's easy and we can all do it if we get over ourselves and leave our ego at home. Don't treat people like strangers, they are friends you haven't met yet. We are all more alike than we realise. And fear of rejection - that's just our mind playing tricks on us, our fragile ego. Don't listen to it. Even if you try talking to someone and it doesn't go well, it's not a reflection on you, they're probably not in a good place, and eblven if someone doesn't like you - big deal! Does everyone have to like you? Of couse not! In order to be the most genuine selves and enjoy life we need to understand how our ego sabotages us and to be aware of it and keep our ego in check. It is our ego that drains all the fun out of life (under the guise of protecting us. Protecting us from what???? Living large and being who we are and draining the joy out of our life???). Yes, if we play the game of life we'll get roughed up at times and bruised along the way but it's going to be a great ride. But if we never want to be rejected or bruised or wronged then we'll be on the sidelines. Some people love it that way, and there's nothing wrong with it. But if you don't like it, give yourself permission to dive in and be the social creature you are meant to be. It is easier than you think and only you are in control of it, it only depends on you and noone else. You don't have to do anything except relax and be yourself and be open to possibilities and engage when opportunities present themselves. If you walk around with invisible walls around you, it's a deterrant for people, our expression and body language can be offputting. And vice versa. It's the law of attraction. We attract what we put out there into the universe. This is not airy fairy, it just is a fact.
This is a subject close to my heart so I tend to go on and on. I hope you get my point. You can reply if you wish to discuss. Cheers.
I can hear the pain in your voice; and I am truly sorry. You seem like a good person; it is so unfortunate that somebody will take advantage of you in that manner. Well my dear, when people want to walk away from you … LET THEM WALK. A better friend is on the way.
Yeah. We tend to draw the narcissists. It says far more about them than it does about us. Remember that! And remember your worth, always always remember your worth.
Because of Covid or what it seems so many people are in survival
It’s not you or me or others that are good hearted , it’s sad people like that are lost
Don’t let him or others to drag you down
You and your wife are such a blessing to me
Josh, I feel your frustration. You are a good person, a good man. You have nothing to feel embarrassed about. I can relate to much of this experience and I’ve been in this exact same one, even helping the person move out. There have been too many experiences of this type of exploitation of my kind and generous spirit. I felt broken after years of this kind of abuse by so called 'friend's… 2018 was the turning point. I stopped giving myself away. If one red flag is raised…that is it, I’m out and done. If people don’t add value to your life…let them go.
As another commenter said…do not change who you are because of this experience.
I admire you so much for putting all this out there. That's so courageous. I'd love to be your friend but I'm not on the same continent. Good luck to you.
In the end, it's always a friend that does the deed.
Be careful Josh, I wish I had a friend like you, but I realized that good people always end up around bad and narcissistic people.
I lowered my expectations in people, it's been great. Right now I just enjoy my cigars and pipes alone at night and I think through life while listening to some good old rocknroll and blues music.
I just turned 25, no friends, but that's life I guess.
Keep going y'all and try to be good to each other!
Aquarius was here!
There is a great lesson coming from your story not only for you, but for many people - if a new friend wants something from you (borrow money, rent something from you) you can always say no. I have some friends and i'm not sure why RUclips showed me your channel few months ago but i like to listen to your and your wife's life :) But based on my experience with my friends you will want to spend time with those people just because you like their company. I think that from the moment when money is involved, the energy changes as you already experienced. I hope that you will find good friends ! Greetings from Poland :) if you ever come to Poznań i can show you the city as i became a tourist guide this year
Whenever a "friend" tries to involve you in their financial business it's time to end the friendship, I've been screwed over to many times to count, it never ends well, I will never ask a friend for anything money related, and I expect the same from my friends, there's nothing that hurts more than realizing you only someone's friend because of what you can provide for them. I use my anger as fuel in the gym I'm sure you can relate, stay strong bud 💪
That seems like a bit of a sad over generalisation. I ve both borrowed from, and lent money to friends, sometimes thousands of Euros, if somebody was in a temporary pickle, and the money was always returned promptly. It's completely obvious to me who is trustworthy and who isn't, and I have yet to be wrong. What's with the extreme negativity in this comment section? This is bizarre to me, most people anywhere are usually fairly well meaning, and trustworthy enough, in my experience, and when they are not, one can tell right away.
glad to see you back man.
Thank you 🙏 so much for posting this.
I feel very sorry that this has happened to you. In psychology they say, it takes 9 nice clerks to compensate 1 unfriendly one, which shows how vulnerable all of us are to negative emotional experiences. And now we are even talking about closer relationships.
I can very much relate to this. A few years back I had a bigger surgery which forced me to stay inside quite a while and there were so few friends stopping by or even calling to hear how I felt. This was the beginning of a clinical depression b/c I lost trust.
Now this dark phase is over - fortunately- and I learnt to trust my gut instinct if it comes to people. Normally, this had always worked, but I was new in town, I guess chose to ignore some signals and expected too much. I am much happier with the circle of friends I have now, even though it took a bit to find them and then let the friendship carefully grow.
How about taking 5 mins every day to remember and 'refeel' r situations in which friends have been genuinely kind to you to you? Maybe this will make this last experience fade away more quickly.
Take good care,
Jens
Brother love your channel, you are so real and genuine
I am sooo sorry this happened to you. Please know that you did not deserve it. And you are absolutely right that you should not write everyone off because of one a-hole. True friends will return the love & generosity that you give. Peace ✌🏻
Hi Josh! I know how hard it can be to come to terms with a situation when you are taking the high road and meanwhile repeatedly getting screwed over. I experienced a lot of harassment and lost my housing recently due to similar circumstances.
All I will say is please exercise caution when meeting new people. Being in solitude is better than being surrounded by bad friends. But when you don't have the luxury of making friends easily sometimes you take what you can get, and that may not always be what you deserve.
Definitely join a club if possible or meet people through a shared activity/in person, but trust your instincts if you notice red flags early on. Hoping you find peace from the unfortunate circumstances you've been through.
Hannah, I like the idea of joining a club or shared activity because I'll be around like-minded people. And I agree, I like my own company so I need to not force friendships when I see they may not work out. Cheers
Good luck! Also remember to ask yourself if you like the person too! I am usually worried about whether they will liked me or not that I frequently forget to think about that. Your standards are important too :)
Hi Josh,
There are some excellent, sensitive, big-hearted people in this world, don't give up, you deserve and will find some of these.
Just take your time, as slowly as needed, to know and discover them.
I was scammed for money too, eight years ago, and now I am more cautious and follow my gut instincts, they have to earn your confidence in them.
Well..Best wishes for you, big hug 🤗
I am honestly not sure what to say, but I hope that you are able to both protect your heart and still be open to connection as you move forward. Easier said than done of course, but you deserve the experience of a true friend. Stay well!
I was just wondering what happened to you. I'm sorry to hear that you got taken advantaged of by a conman / fake friend. One of my favorite quotes is "Trust, but verify." I am very slow to trust people, and you can see people's true nature over time.
Don't give up on finding meaningful friendships. You are such a likable person. I hope you will post about some highlights of your Iceland trip. I would love to hear more about it (its on my dream travel list).
I often say that we have trust people to be who they are. This frees us to choose how we will move forward in how we engage with them. I think we all are tempted to avoid people when someone disappoints us. The reality is we are often more angry with ourselves for not paying attention to the signs. We also have to be sure not to punish others for what one person did to us.
Sorry you had to go through that. Hopefully, that experience doesn't make you want to make you pull back from friendships. There are many people who are not like that and genuinely want to be your friend.
Thank you so much
So sorry to hear you had to go through all of that. Some people are just straight up parasites. Remember to notice all of the good people you run into to keep from feeling too down about people in general
Thank you for sharing. I've been traumatized by friendships that died like this. It's awful. I have no advice or anything because I'm looking for meaningful friendships as well. Sending love to you and your wife.
Glad you posted this video. I wish you could get revenge on that person some how. People are jerks. Yes, there are some good people but be very careful.
I'm 6 months late. Josh, we love you, sincerely! You are a genuine person. Keep being YOU, appreciate your introversion, and keep being our Joshy-pooh! You are the controller of your destiny and your happiness. The beauty is...you let people in when and however you choose. Just be...much love from Queens NYC! 🤗❤️🩹
So sorry this happened to you. You need to trust your gut when it comes to dealing with people. More importantly, you need to follow some kind of code next time you go out and try to make friends. I experienced something similar. I was scammed out of an entire month's paycheck online, which makes me much more stupid. So don't stress out too much. When you meet people who are worth your time, this might just be a great story to tell. Live to learn, right?!
Josh, Welcome back! Missed U!
The greatest learning I've had is from deep reflection after my mistakes. It is hard for me to see you agonizing here. Yet, you shine as you are judicious in sparing details, yet abundant in having & expressing gratitude. You are supportive of your wife & of Hispanic landscapers. You aim to avoid vindictiveness in your comments and succeed in meeting responsibilities with major life events. This is a tale of two personality types with different moral compasses. Hold on Josh, for in the end you will be the victor!
Hi Josh, thanks for the update...
Sorry to hear your experience.
My best and only friend is still my partner.
FRIENDSHIP is soooooo OVERATED.
Be well💪
Josh please continue to make more videos, very invested on your progress to making more friends. “True” friends
Glad you didn't give in and that you posted the vid. Sorry things happends as they did. We learn from our lesson. Keep Moving Forward❤
ur a good dude bud, the restraint I see you have telling this story is better than me man...stay positive, toxic ppl suck!
A big problem with us reserved introverts is we make easy targets for abusive people and grifters (especially cluster 'B' types.)
I sadly have a sibling who does this to everyone in my family I finally cut her off a couple years ago which was super hard but it does get better! Good hearted people always kinda have it the worst because we feel so deeply for others but God truly loves you he sees it all. Your videos make me not feel so alone about my social anxiety I hope I have the courage to post videos one day😊
Josh, you seem like a sweet guy who anyone would like to befriend. Don't let this one bad experience sour you on friendships. Sometimes you have to separate friendship from being personal, depending on the person. Don't beat yourself up because you've been scammed; it's happened to the best of us. You just have to be careful who you go all out for. Don't change because of this; just be wary the next time. Lots of luck.
100% relate. I'm 32 and live alone in Colorado, I rented a 2 bedroom apartment because I work from home. I met a guy my age who was unloading my truck (hired through Uhaul) where we made eye contact and felt lightning between us so we connected after they unloaded the truck. We were bonding so hard that the other guy noticed and got jealous lol. It was a huge answer to prayer for me because all I want is one guy friend I can count on as a brother and love, and he popped into my life organically. Howeverrrrrrrrrrrrrr, lol, he had an underlying motivation which was for me to rent out my second bedroom to him. This hurt so badly and has happened so many times to me with trying to have just one guy friend that ultimately ends up being a really damaging bad situation (I have a lot of other similar stories). I really wanted to believe that what he and I had was real and the amount we had in common was insane, but he had no peace, constantly one-upp'd me on everything I said, preached at me, and I called him out and couldn't do it anymore thankfully before I ever let him move in with me. I am 32 and have moved so many times it's ridiculous so I do blame myself for being completely alone, but life happens and the moves I've made have always been for good reasons. I guess I'm venting in a youtube comment lol but I saw your other video pop up and watched this one and it's helped me a lot to realize I just never know when another brother might be seeking for and going through the same thing, even if he looks perfect on the outside. I'm going to keep trying and hopefully "manifest" a real guy friend that will be genuine and real, but it feels at this point like it's impossible. I call it my impossible prayer - finding one guy who I can love like a brother mutually and bond for life. Thanks for sharing your story. It really did make me realize I can't give up and can't judge a guy by how perfect he might look on the outside. I'm sure people look at me (I'm not perfect but) and think that I have tons of friends, when in reality weeks and sometimes months go by without me hanging out with anyone. It's sad, but predictable with all of my moves across the country. I'm still in my 2 bedroom apartment in Colorado alone and going to put posts out to rent this other room, not because I need the money, but just because I am so alone it's physical pain at this point. Thanks again for sharing this - it validated what I just went through. Love you brother and keep your chin up.
You seem like an awesome guy! … it’s too bad he treated you that way. I can totally relate to what you said being alone and for that same reason posted to rent the spare bedroom in my home even though it feels like a crapshoot. Hope you can manifest your best friend…Sending positive thoughts your way..from down in NM.
Just stop moving around & you'll have friends. Some men just started talking to me in this apartment building after they've been here 2 yrs.
People are shy including men. Sometimes u have to initiate conversation with them.
Go to any therapist & they're gonna tell u to develop interests.
My gay friend met his boyfriend through dirt car racing ; by seeing each other @ different racetracks!
They eventually hooked up! Then my friend moved in with him! Lol
@@Alexander-rq9he Hah I totally know what you mean about renting the room out. I decided it's going to have to happen organically. I'm forcing myself finally to go to these places I've known about for over a year now so that I can meet people and let it happen naturally. It seems in my life as soon as I'm aiming at something and truly 100% mean it and am hoping for it, it shows up. Especially in-person. I have a guys group that meets tonight that I have been invited to for a year but never gone, but going tonight. Maybe eventually he might be there? Only God knows. Thanks for the reply and hopefully both of us will organically have a brother we can live with and have fun with!
@@willott9470 Hey, nice hearing from you. It’s great that you’re going to that group tonight. I really hope it goes well and you find that cool guy. Gets me thinking that perhaps I should look for a similar group in my area.🤔
Thank you for the kind wish. I appreciate that. If you are ever down in Albuquerque, you have a potential brother here. Just let me know. Good luck tonight!
@@Alexander-rq9he I found mine by literally just searching "men's group" and my city and looked around and found a mens mental health group through this men's clothing store's foundation... pretty interesting. Thanks for sending me some love my bruh bruh!
So sorry you had to go through that. Don't let it stop you from making new friends. Not everyone is a pathological liar!
Oh no! Not my Josh. Strange I was thinking about you we love you buddy. I really hope you don’t let this eat you up. I know it’s hard to let things like this go. I had this and other things mostly with family or their others. These situations are extremely exhausting. I really wanted to hear that first video you made...but I understand why you didn’t post it. I’ll be praying for you and Emily ❤️
I know it sucks, because I’m right here right now. And it seems people do this when at your lowest point. But, I’m praying for discernment. Thank you for sharing! I pray you find the right people around you. 🙏🏾
This story itself is really frustrating. People like that are the worst. The thing that I found most relatable here was your moments of optimism, and then you kind of talk yourself out of it - “what’s the point?” Very much relate to that.
One thing, especially as I’ve hit my 30s that I’ve had to accept. People have different priorities - work, their families (kids in some instances). They sometimes have some longstanding friends, but they aren’t looking to make new ones because they don’t need them. So if you’re actively looking, especially when you’re in your 30s or older, the decks are stacked totally against you. I agree with a lot of people - a bad friend is worse than no friends. But a lot of what you’re saying is so honest. You’re saying what a lot of us are thinking.
I rent 2 apartments out and this is why everyone will tell you to go through a real estate agent. I have my own support company and I have had a few problems with people becoming co dependent and see you as too kind and easy to take advantage of. It’s the universe sending you lessons.
I now have boundaries and also keep my friendships and home life separated
I'm sorry this happened to you. I've dealt with/been dealing with something similar. It sucks even worse when they were your best friend and or had been for years. Especially when you always thought you'd be best friends and be there for each other always even when you were 90 and wrinkly. All that time and energy. All that sincerity and vulnerability. Betrayed.
My advice would be to not abstain from making new friends because that will subjectively rationalize and even justify your apprehension for doing so. But moving forward I would not expend/invest too much effort, time, and vulnerability that you could regret if they turned out not to be decent.
Thank you, Daniel! You rock. I will definitely try to move forward instead of retracting and making myself feel worse.
Lonely people are bound to attract people who will take advantage of their need for companionship. Watch the warning signs, set firm boundaries, and don’t be afraid to cut things off early if you aren’t feeling the vibes, just like you would a bad date. Better to end things sooner than to stick around and hope for the better only to have their problems bite you in the butt later.
You've learned to be more cautious and go slow. You've learned some valuable lessons. And you took care of a family who probably really needed it at that moment. So I'd say it was a valued moment in your life. May not have turned out how you wanted it (we've all been there, I have a LOT), but in the end it moved you that much closer to the friend meant for you to have. They're probably going through a similar experience so when you both come together, you'll be incredibly grateful for one another. Never hold back, and just be you. The right friend will show and stay. 🤗 None of this makes it easier to deal, but I have gone through far too many failed friendships. Then one just fell in my lap when I wasn't looking and figured I was done, and it just seemed to work somehow. Like the romantic relationship too, lol. I'm sorry it happened to you though. That is a rough lesson.
I doubt there's anyone who hasn't been scammed by so-called friends or relatives. Easier said than done, but one must learn from the error while not be embittered to move on. Best of luck Josh.
I feel you on this, I don’t have any friend either and it’s because people ALWAYS take advantage of my kindness. It’s why I will never lend money to people, why I will never rent a house with people and why I have issues with working because my last friend who was like a younger brother to me ruined my reputation in the workplace and prevented me from progressing as easily as I should have been able to. I gave this guy three chances to redeem himself and mend our friendship and he blew all of them. I ended up calling him and telling him to never speak to me again unless it’s to apologise for what he did to me and it’s already been 2 years or something. I just always have to end up cutting people out my life for good because they don’t have any human decency, I wish it would stop happening, the worst thing is it’s so hard tell what people are really like. The world is a very dark place these days, everyone is so self obsessed, they don’t think about anyone but themselves and what will benefit them. I’m really fed up of it…
I had something similar happen to me. I found a friend who I really connected with. He was going through some marital and career issues I was helping him deal with. After a year of a great friendship I found out he was lying to me about his spousal abuse and lying about other things. I don’t condone spousal abuse so I called him on it. He threw me away like I was trash. Realized that it wasn’t a friendship from the start and felt like he was using me to get though life’s struggles and made himself a victim. Very painful and psychologically damaging. I haven’t pursed friendships since. Your story really hit home with me because seems like you’re a kind soul just like me who want to help people. Thanks for sharing your story.