I’ve been married 17 years. We had known each other less than a year when we got married. The most intense problems result from miscommunication and stubbornness. Disciplined conversation and humility are the keys to peace and joy in our house.
@@christopherlopez3549 because oftentimes when dating an immigrant people tend to rush into marriage faster because you can make the life of the person you love so much easier by getting them a green card. I did with my wife, and we're still happily married and in love
Relationships are overrated IMO. The few recent times I was in one I wanted out and I got out (usually after a month or two), am not overly keen to get into one again.
It's always fascinating to hear why people think their single. It's always so intellectual and deep. Yet your friends can probably tell you bluntly in 5 words why you're single lol.
I look good, well educated, stable well paying job, I exercise 5 days a week. I've been single for more than 7 years. Many women have showed interest in me. I just don't trust love and I don't want it.
Lex spends too much time pontificating about love he’s going to miss it passing by because the image he’s built in his head is too big and too demanding vs reality.
this is the problem with philosophers- they spend all their time talking instead of doing, to hide the fact that doing is so scary. and this podcast has taken off, so "too busy" is always a valid excuse for pretty much anything. it's a great podcast & i'm not knocking lex, just making an observation.
Shit can hit you like a freight train sometimes man, I was single for a long time and just started making an effort to leave the house more and be outgoing and within a year I became a dad. I never gave myself enough credit that I was someone others would want to be around, but with a little effort a whole lot of people wanted to be around me. Just took like 10 years of hermit living to get there...
@@KidKhamseen This is a bit of a ramble. I was playing an mmo Final Fantasy XIV and just got fed up sitting around my house all the time. There was a local bar near my place and one day I just got up and left, I don't care much for drinking but they had like poker and billiards and karaoke nights and stuff so I went and worked up to striking up conversations with people. I've always liked singing and I'm pretty good, so I manage to get a lot of lady attention from that. The group of guys I ended up hanging out with were gun hobbyists and liked games and stuff so I had a lot in common with them and just started hanging out with them and became great friends. We started going out like 3 times a week and hanging out with girls and stuff. They all liked working out so they usually brought quite a bit of attention, I'm a bit of a large guy so that wasn't really my strongsuit but I read a lot and know a lot about certain things and a lot of those people started coming to me for life advice and stuff. I started working out with them too and improved physically a bit but not like a ton, I still have a gut lol. Eventually I met a woman with a little girl who was pretty down on her luck through all that of no fault of her own and I helped her put her life back together, she fell for me, I moved her in and had another kid. Still living that life, I don't go out as much anymore, but I still make time for those friends. I never drank more than 1-2 beers in a night out, I'd often buy others drinks instead cause I don't like drinking much but didn't want to feel like a deadbeat either. Even if you don't like drinking bars are a great place to meet people. Its why they have existed since the dawn of civilization, just don't overdo it or drive drunk.
Ahh, two beautiful and knowledgeable men talking about deep stuff and being supportive to each other. That's my life goal. I want to keep and make more friendships like this.
I love seeing good friends together who acknowledge their mutual respect, admiration, love and support for each other, verbally and non. Literally makes our world better in every way.
12 years with my wife. 7 years married, 5 years together before we got married and had a kid. Best choice I ever made. We have made each other better in every possible way. Worth it.
@@VoiceOfReason919 There is no good reason to get married. Just the bad ones. It easily can turn into absolute disaster. Only in marriage, the state is moderating your breakup. Statistics are not in favor of marriage, in majority of cases it doesn't end well. For men, women and kids. Marriage in itself is not entirely wrong idea. It worked just fine for a very long time. But this sick culture is making it almost impossible to continue in future as our ancestors were used to. Promiscuity is being normalized. Words like trust, commitment, or just the concept of truly knowing each other, it all lost its meaning. Marriage is incompatible with the emerging "moral" standards.
@@VoiceOfReason919 because you’d have to be extremely lucky to actually have a long lasting marriage the chances of your marriage ending in divorce are so high that it’s not even worth it taking this gamble if you want a child it’s better to get a baby mom or surrogate and co parent
I just turned 29, always pushed the idea of a relationship to the side and now I’m wondering how difficult the dating world will treat me in my early to mid 30s.
If you're a dude, it's pretty easy and you'll be fine but you need to be picky because you don't want to waste your time on all the red flags. Avoid single moms like the plague. If you're a women, it's gonna be a rough time, sorry.
I watched this video with my Bobbi, my 12 yo puppy. I asked Bobbi what is the secret of our successful relationship, Bobbi just looked at me and did not answer. He helped me understand that silence is the best answer to this question 🙋
We need more people like Lex in this world. What a beautiful human being he is. He has so much passion about life and love. Can you imagine if we lived in a world where everybody loved like him? What a beautiful world it would be 🌈💛
I married my wife after 5 months of dating. But we already knew we were gonna be together from the first day. You will never be prepared so don't prepare, there is no instructions manual. Just be respectful, brutally honest and have empathy. Don't be reactive, analyze and talk everything through. After 5 yrs we are still going strong, now expecting. :)
I was a bit confused by Andrew's reply when I first watched it, but then I watched Lex's routine video. The more I think and talk to others, the more I understand. You simply don't have the time for a relationship, if you have only an hour or so available daily for connection with someone. That's simply not enough. But then you kind of think you *need* to work towards a relationship and that is the source of that pain. There are simple checkboxes about a relationship that you need to tick off like willingness to commit, make compromises with your personal space and sacrifice time from personal and work related stuff to be with someone. I think Andrew is hinting towards the fact that Lex simply doesn't have the time.
At one point I was deep into the self-improvement rabbit hole and filled my day with all sorts of “productive” endeavors and hobbies and also told myself that I just don’t have time, but the reality was that I was distracting myself from my inability to engage with women, until I learned that it’s better to put off a couple of “productive” hobbies and focus on meeting someone special. You should only make time for things you truly want to do, so the whole “I just don’t have time because I work out and do jiujitsu and play guitar and run with David Goggins and read research papers” is simply a cope and a deflection from the fact that he’s clearly not the most alluring guy to women, especially being shorter than Joe Rogan.
10:17 He certainly is Right There. Losing someone to death almost makes you never want to have another relationship ever again. It's literally devastating.
Been married 39 years we like each other besides love each other - one of the things we both do is recite the reasons we married each other almost weekly- we also like our routine and the simple things to do together- - we’ve had both easy times and hard times - the Apostle Paul says he learned to be content in all circumstances- that plays into it too - we try to be happy in all circumstances- (i.e. family problems, financial problems, and health problems) Get busy you two- get married soon - you need to procreate - it’ll work out! Thanks for the podcasts - both Lex and Andrew.
6:00 is so spot on. Good relationships are all about knowing what dynamic you want and need, and finding that. We live in a society where having a preference for one relationship dynamic over another may be negatively viewed (and not tolerated) depending on the frame of reference of the person perceiving you.
"There's 4 arrows in a romantic relationship: 1. There's the arrow pointing from you to the other; how you feel about them. 2. There's the arrow pointing from the other to you; how they feel about you. 3 and 4. There's the arrow that comes right back at you; how you think they feel about you, and how they think you feel about them."
Lex’s future wife is going to be one incredibly lucky woman. I’ve never seen someone so genuinely kind and empathetic while also possessing intelligence and logic greater than 99% of the worlds population. I think he would be a very attentive and nurturing husband while able to remain grounded in reality. Lol as if it’s not obvious I think he possesses everything I would look for in a husband.
falling in love is a profound experience, but staying in a long marriage is a decision you make every single day. staying with one partner requires a lot of work and patience.
I simply see too many miserable people around me in relationships that it’s completely turned me off from it. I spent most of my 20’s dating and it was miserable. Obviously, I had a huge part in the making of that misery. That’s why I prefer being alone
Same. Love is vaporware, that people sell each other, but no one ever finds. Worst of all if you get to know "successfully married" people, their marriages is boring as hell.
Agree. Being alone is being fully free. What I hate about relationships is I gotta do things I don't wanna do, like having dinner with her friends or family, going to her families parties, funerals etc..
After listening to over 100 episodes, I can’t help but wonder about Lex’s love and sex life. He so romanticizes every aspect of existence, yet it seems as though a woman is the one thing he’s never really swooned or lusted over.
Yes im thinking the same. I believe he is from a different times when AI conquered human. So he went back in time to convince everyone to be nice to robots. If he has a woman and a Child here his entire existance is in trouble. Or he is gay
Someone wrote, " If a man can't find a woman out of a hundred woman, perhaps it's not a woman he's looking for." He just needs to find one kind, loving mom for his kiddies, not a Joe-Rogan-Clan approved trophy.
But it can also give way for someone that truly loves you to empathize with you. But yes unfortunately its two sides of the same coin. When you're vulnerable you can both get hurt and be taken care of and understood
14:28 "I'm able to be alone, but I'm much happier with another person." Living alone is like a comfortable straight line for me. No ups or downs. But there is this very special woman and we're in the process of getting to know each other more. My former straight line of life looks now like it would have been drawn by a seismograph next to an erupting volcano.
@@manfrombritain6816 she has already delivered me „the bad news“ not long after I had written this. I‘m still in the process of getting over it. I know this sounds stupid and it is definitely as stupid as it sounds, but I knew she would be „the one“. The only thing special in life is life itself.
@@tubecrash3819 it can be tough, but learning to love and enjoy the good parts while learning from the bad is all part of the process. hang in there, it's just part of magic of life, both good and bad.
it is soooo cute to see 2 nerds complimenting each other .. no eye contact and sincere feelings .. great human beings ..i wish sometime in my life i get to speak to either of them ..sadly i dont have the pedigree ..ROFL
@@peaklander1 well i haven't done anything out of the blue to merit attention of either of them ..not that i feel sad about it .. just that almost all the peeps he speaks to have a great intellectual caliber
I absolutely love that aspect of both you and Andrew! you two are clearly such good friends and I experience so much joy when you two (or anyone else for that matter IE Tim Ferris and Kevin Rose) can speak so openly and have a good time, WHILE giving viewers like me and so many other a very cathartic experience because were all trying to answer the same questions at different moments in our lives. Thanks Lex :)
Od zawsze wychodzę z założenia ( uważam ) , że jeżeli już dzielić swoje życie z drugą osobą to tylko taką przy , której w pełni możemy być sobą , której naprawdę ufamy , na którą wiemy , że zawsze możemy liczyć , ponieważ jak wiemy życie składa się ze wzlotów i upadków . Jak mówił mój Św.pamięci Tata i o czym sama przekonałam się w swoim życiu nie raz " Życie to nie jest bajka ..." Krótkomówiąc jeśli już dzielić swoje życie i swój czas to tylko z mężczyzną , który na to naprawdę zasługuje ( w moich oczach , napewno nie z polecenia kogoś innego ) , mówię to z przekonaniem opierając się zawsze tylko na własnych doświadczeniach . Zauroczenie a prawdziwa miłość to zupełnie coś innego ( Dwie zupełnie odmienne historie .)
I'm convinced part of the problem people have with relationships and finding somebody to love comes down to communication. The reality is everybody has a different idea of a what a relationship is supposed to be and if both parties don't actually tell the other person it leads to both people feeling like the other person doesn't care about them. It's why I'm a firm believer that people need to discuss religion, kids, and the role they expect the other person to play in your life. If you want a housewife you need to be a front when you're dating somebody; The other person might have the expectation that is going to be an egalitarian relationship with 50/50 split of all chores. If you want kids and the other person doesn't just straight up say in the beginning so the other person doesn't fail to meet your expectation. For instance when I was dating my now husband I made it clear that if we had kids child care would be split as equal as possible. If you're religious and you expect your partner to come to church with you regardless of their belief you need to be up front as that's a deal breaker to some people. When I've dated in the past I made it clear that I wouldn't start a relationship with somebody who's couldn't do basic cleaning and cooking as that is an indicator to me they can't be an equal partner which is my expectation. If you want to find a compatible person to be with and one day love you need to make sure your expectations are clear and make sure you're both compatible. It's not wrong if you have different expectations; it's wrong if you don't communicate them or go in with the toxic idea that you can change them.
No need to overthink it. If there is shared attraction, shared core values and shared desire to orient towards truth..the rest is a process of spiritual growth in tandem with another person. Something that you have to choose and refresh all the time because just like everything else in the universe things stagnate and entropy is a law of nature. The best part about being in a relationship with another person on that level of intimacy is that it holds a mirror up to yourself and your own shortcomings very clearly. As long as both parties recognize the relationship as a catalyst for growth any hardship can be overcome
keys to a successful relationship: loyalty, honesty, sharing a goal/ideal, continually investing in the relationship by talking, doing stuff together, and for each other. It's not rocket science.
I've been listening to both your podcasts for a while now, and I just want to say thank you for sharing these more "personal" parts of yourself. It's sweet to hear your thoughts on love and relationships.
The universe has jokes! My two favorite guys are single. Yay. I love Lex because he is soft inside and out and he is very transparent. I love Andrew because he understands his own chaos within and without, I hope one day the neurons in his brain and the neurons in his heart will get along and stop fighting for territory, he is getting there. As for my dear beautiful Lex, don't be afraid to fall in love, love is not a black hole and it needs no preparation, you just need to be.
I’m confused what is it about people that they demand for *other* people to be in a relationship? It’s arrogant to claim to know that someone will be happier, you don’t actually know that
@@Joe-sg9ll im happily married w 3 kids but I do see what is happening in our country on top of everything else men aren't men anymore were at a 4th turning, weak men create tough times
Honestly, women are not that hard to understand, the difficulty lies within the fact that as men we try to see their behavior through our own lense, and understand it within those parameters. Once you understand the different parameter, women stop being mysterious.
It's a journey to self love. Once you learn to love yourself the right one will come and that is when you are ready for true love. I enjoy your podcast.
05:00 *Talking about the book : **_Can love last_* Or the secrets to a good relationships 12:45 *Do you want to be in a relationship?* *Or : What do you want your daily routine to look like? Are you OK with it comporting everyday couple activities, or not ?* 15:02 *Lex being grateful for the way Andrew his. And doing it, showing to be an awesome friend or lover, a likeable human being."*
what he says around 12 min in really resonates for me. Being more like Lex in that people would describe me as emotionally robotic at best, I struggled with actual committment. Not in terms of fidelity, but the intellectual idea of committment wasn't automatically attached to marriage for me. So I gave up too quick, got divorced. Looking back I realized that people like myself who aren't driven by emotion need to treat committment to a person like I did to my jobs. If I just "decided" that marriage was my life, I could have committed to it successfully I think. Everyone involved, me and my ex and our son are fine for the most part. We always have gotten along fine post divorce. Knowing all of this I know it was my flippant view of commitment that was the weak point of our marriage.
Don't be too harsh on youeself. Usually, after a break up, especially you one havn't met someone new in a shrot period of time, we tend to idiolize our former partners. I'm sure, there were a lot of other reasons you broke up.
Lex , your one of the smartest, youngest , people in modern history . But I said it before and I'll say it again .. you're a hopefull/hopeless romantic. Don't overthink women, and remember time keeps on slippin,slippin, slippin, into the future. Time is finite.....Much respect
Good honest communication is the most important part of relationships. You can and should be able to be honest without being cruel. This is the key. Married 33 years. ✌🍀 P.S. She's being programmed😂
When you're alone, the only love you'll ever know is loving yourself. You will never know what love is until you are ready to sacrifice a part that you love in yourself, like complete freedom.
I was married 12 years to somebody. I didn't really know very well when we first got married and now we're divorced and I'm very grateful that I'm single and alone and able to do the things that I want to do and work on myself
I had a best friend in highschool who was a female. People always thought we had physical contact. We never did. I honestly just loved her as a person and spending time with her. Once she got married, her husband said she couldn't talk or see me again. Lol.
I’m married , have a husband ❤️ (a techie 🤓) , we have a home, children , careers. I want to respectfully say Lex , you won’t have ANY problem finding someone special 🥰😉
I'm single, I've tried but it never seems to work, I think some people are just meant to be single.....and I'm one of them. There are different reasons, but I've realised that the main one is that I don't want to be miserable !
This is beautifully open and analytical in such a positive way. Lex needs to get in the dating game to experience and recognise what he doesn’t want …. To therefore find recognise what he does want!
Such an energetically costly way of going about things, I’m sure it works for some people though. But this is why I can’t date, just one relationship would upend me so much and take so much energy. Having lots of them like a series of taste tests is unimaginable.
I chose to love someone romantically for the first time in my lifetime, and I continue to make that decision. We weren’t meant to be, and sometimes our physical attractiveness and friendliness may draw in unwanted attention (for the both of us). Although we weren’t meant to be and we are not necessarily soulmates, I’ve found love in the randomness and beauty in the choices we make to live together and love each other ❤
They say “don’t let it get into the friends zone”. I think that advice is wrong. I also think the definition of being a “friend” is also diluted. Based on my experience I’ve had with my wife and some wise advice I’ve had in the past I suggest: 1. Commit to becoming a healthy version of yourself 2. Find someone you can be best friend with and that has the same commitment. (And that you also have chemistry with… gotta have the attraction) 3. Commit to each other through thick or thin.
It’s not a “friend” if there’s chemistry. That’s what is meant by friend zone. Women don’t “friendzone” men they’re attracted to. So the advice is good.
I disagree. I think one can be a friend and have chemistry. I think the term “friend zone” should be changed means “not sexually attracted to you zone”. It has nothing to do with friendship.
the more you realize how much social media has messed up modern relationships.. the more you'll realize Lex is too smart for most women out there. Doesn't have time to waste on dumb stuff/drama.. that's just my opinion.
What you want might make you cry ,what you need might pass you by if you don’t catch it .What you need ironically Will turn out what you want to be if you just let it…When it hurt so bad by Lauryn Hill
Hey somebody is actually saying something that actually makes sense and truthful. He need an intellectual-type woman that will not just engaging in small talk.
Amongst others; kindness, selflessness, humour, generosity of heart, being supportive, non judgmental nor being easily offended all contribute to a joyful life collaboration.
I came up with a new word a few years ago, describing relationships we create with all things in life: revelationship. I believe in every relationship we have, it is there to ‘reveal’ to us more about ourselves.
There is a podcast called, "philosophize this." If you enjoyed this discussion I highly recommend checking out, "philosophize this - Nietzsche -pt 3 Love." This is not my podcast, I am not affiliated... But I love this subject, no pun intended, and anyone else who enjoyed lex and Andrews talk would appreciate that episode. Cheers!
When I hear Lex talk about love it feels like a virgin talking about sex, desperate and wanting to believe in this ideal that everything will change once they're not a virgin.
"If you wanna be a warrior prepare to be hurt, If you are an explorer prepare to be lost, if you become a lover prepare to be both." What a quote 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I’m 20 and I’ve tried it in high school it didn’t work. I see everyone around me in relationships where they are miserable. I’ve had my heart broken gotten over it and quite frankly I’m not in a hurry to get back in that. I have 0 interest in dealing with the emotions or problems of a woman. I’m happy right now and yeah I could be happier if I had someone but im not willing to take that leap of faith which could ruin me at the end of it when im already happy.
seen a lot of people in the comments make fun of Lex for being single. I've been going through the same thing for nearly my entire life. I refuse to settle for just anyone and I'm busy most of the time. I'm okay with being alone and I'm also okay having someone in my life. I don't get why it bothers other people. Also, any woman would be blessed to have Lex in their life.
"If you want to be a warrior, prepare to be hurt. If you want to be an explorer, prepare to be lost. If you want to be in love, prepare to be both"
simp
💎💎💎
This is Cold Gold and Hot Diamond!!
@Rectum Abdominus Your Comment reps your name very well
Jommyt1998 “I’m 14 and this is deep” would love you 😂
I’ve been married 17 years. We had known each other less than a year when we got married. The most intense problems result from miscommunication and stubbornness. Disciplined conversation and humility are the keys to peace and joy in our house.
So in other words what you're saying is ... Happy wife happy life?? 😉
Is she an immigrant?
Why does that matter?
@@christopherlopez3549 because oftentimes when dating an immigrant people tend to rush into marriage faster because you can make the life of the person you love so much easier by getting them a green card. I did with my wife, and we're still happily married and in love
"Disciplined Conversation"?
I'm single by choice, by the ladies' choice
Lol
Relationships are overrated IMO. The few recent times I was in one I wanted out and I got out (usually after a month or two), am not overly keen to get into one again.
@@SwapBlogRU haha why did it suck so bad
@@joelm4847 well, honestly - I might've been too much of a dickhead, not to say my partners were angels
😂😂🥺
"I'm able to share joy with other humans"
~Lex 'Definitely not a Robot' Fridman
It's the Russian in him , a very robotic, serious, truth seeking people
😂😂😂😂
@@jasonpierce693 So what is the truth of Russia invading Ukraine?
Я в пути, не переживай, скоро уже 🖤
My Mam said that too..
Haven’t watched the video, but a 17 minute part 3 video about why Lex is single is absolutely hilarious to me.
Lmao that’s why I clicked too, one 17 minutes video of why you’re single would be bad enough lol
😂😂
Exactly 😆
There’s part 4 too 😂😂
What a loser, this guy has never touched a woman
You future wife is out there.
Lex: yeah she's being programmed.
That's no joke people. The robot has spoken😂
His best joke ever! 😂😂😂
@9λ I think that’s what makes it funnier
Nah, he just need to visit Japan.
Exactly what I thought!!!
Great joke and probably be true
She’s being programmed by watching all the episodes.
It's always fascinating to hear why people think their single. It's always so intellectual and deep. Yet your friends can probably tell you bluntly in 5 words why you're single lol.
Yes, agreed haha
I look good, well educated, stable well paying job, I exercise 5 days a week. I've been single for more than 7 years. Many women have showed interest in me. I just don't trust love and I don't want it.
@@goldstein10493 why you scared bro
@@Pimpjit85 just scared of embarassing myself and disappointing someone for not living up to their expectation. Also social anxiety.
@@goldstein10493 "everything you ever wanted lies on the other side of fear"
"she's being programmed"
had me rolling xD
Lol I think he's serious
@@MrExtr1234 I mean he did say he falls in love easily with objects.................................................. ;P
I chuckled out loud over that.
He smart enough to know he's going to choose a academic women , which technically speaking , will be programmed. Lol
I mean, we are all being programmed. Some for better/worse.
This guy definitely has been.
Lex spends too much time pontificating about love he’s going to miss it passing by because the image he’s built in his head is too big and too demanding vs reality.
You’ve hit the nail on the head.
this is the problem with philosophers- they spend all their time talking instead of doing, to hide the fact that doing is so scary. and this podcast has taken off, so "too busy" is always a valid excuse for pretty much anything. it's a great podcast & i'm not knocking lex, just making an observation.
The curse of unbridled idealism.
@@plasticity1000 the worst lol
Guys gotta start putting himself out there a little.
Shit can hit you like a freight train sometimes man, I was single for a long time and just started making an effort to leave the house more and be outgoing and within a year I became a dad. I never gave myself enough credit that I was someone others would want to be around, but with a little effort a whole lot of people wanted to be around me. Just took like 10 years of hermit living to get there...
Damn, in a year went from single to a dad? You’re either an amazing person or lack foresight. Hopefully the former.
How did you start leaving the house?
@@KidKhamseen This is a bit of a ramble. I was playing an mmo Final Fantasy XIV and just got fed up sitting around my house all the time. There was a local bar near my place and one day I just got up and left, I don't care much for drinking but they had like poker and billiards and karaoke nights and stuff so I went and worked up to striking up conversations with people. I've always liked singing and I'm pretty good, so I manage to get a lot of lady attention from that. The group of guys I ended up hanging out with were gun hobbyists and liked games and stuff so I had a lot in common with them and just started hanging out with them and became great friends. We started going out like 3 times a week and hanging out with girls and stuff. They all liked working out so they usually brought quite a bit of attention, I'm a bit of a large guy so that wasn't really my strongsuit but I read a lot and know a lot about certain things and a lot of those people started coming to me for life advice and stuff. I started working out with them too and improved physically a bit but not like a ton, I still have a gut lol. Eventually I met a woman with a little girl who was pretty down on her luck through all that of no fault of her own and I helped her put her life back together, she fell for me, I moved her in and had another kid. Still living that life, I don't go out as much anymore, but I still make time for those friends. I never drank more than 1-2 beers in a night out, I'd often buy others drinks instead cause I don't like drinking much but didn't want to feel like a deadbeat either. Even if you don't like drinking bars are a great place to meet people. Its why they have existed since the dawn of civilization, just don't overdo it or drive drunk.
@@jamesrustle7536 thanks
I want a friendship like the one these two share. They're so supportive and obviously positively inspired/motivated by the conversations they share
They are both part of the hustle culture that is for sure.
@@robg4472 what?
@@cchampa17 2 scientists pushing supplements when they should know better.
@@cchampa17 or the platforming of covid conspiracies.
@@cchampa17 really what was our first clue?
Ahh, two beautiful and knowledgeable men talking about deep stuff and being supportive to each other. That's my life goal. I want to keep and make more friendships like this.
Lexs vulnerability and honesty are traits to be admired. He does it right.
Lex is so sweet and has a beautiful innocence. I hope he finds true love soon.
I love seeing good friends together who acknowledge their mutual respect, admiration, love and support for each other, verbally and non. Literally makes our world better in every way.
my favorite bromance. so inspirational i hope to have a relationship like the one these 2 have
"She is being programmed." 🤣
That was a good one Lex.
Lex is such a good dude, you just wanna see him happy
Intimacy. Very few actually reach true intimacy. Until we know each other's most intimate thoughts we can never fully trust another soul with ours.
bruh Lex is so fucking brave. Takes big balls to talk openly about the things he does
12 years with my wife. 7 years married, 5 years together before we got married and had a kid. Best choice I ever made. We have made each other better in every possible way. Worth it.
Shut up
Why does everyone say dont get married then
@@VoiceOfReason919 There is no good reason to get married. Just the bad ones. It easily can turn into absolute disaster. Only in marriage, the state is moderating your breakup. Statistics are not in favor of marriage, in majority of cases it doesn't end well. For men, women and kids. Marriage in itself is not entirely wrong idea. It worked just fine for a very long time. But this sick culture is making it almost impossible to continue in future as our ancestors were used to. Promiscuity is being normalized. Words like trust, commitment, or just the concept of truly knowing each other, it all lost its meaning. Marriage is incompatible with the emerging "moral" standards.
@@VoiceOfReason919 because you’d have to be extremely lucky to actually have a long lasting marriage the chances of your marriage ending in divorce are so high that it’s not even worth it taking this gamble if you want a child it’s better to get a baby mom or surrogate and co parent
@@VoiceOfReason919 There are people who became millionaires going into depth to gamble. Also they will probably divorce in less than 10 years anyway.
Love is all around you. Be happy with yourself and when you hear her, you’ll know. She has wisdom of the heart to share with you.
Check the Bible or other ancient books for how to find a good partner.
Lol
@@thefacelessquestion3333 I’ll consider that. Thank you.
Some people just dont like being in a relationship.Ive been single 18 years and never been happier.
I just turned 29, always pushed the idea of a relationship to the side and now I’m wondering how difficult the dating world will treat me in my early to mid 30s.
If you're a dude, it's pretty easy and you'll be fine but you need to be picky because you don't want to waste your time on all the red flags. Avoid single moms like the plague.
If you're a women, it's gonna be a rough time, sorry.
Oh it’ll treat you badly don’t worry about that part lol.
Welcome 🤣
Don't
If you are a man you will do pretty well
I watched this video with my Bobbi, my 12 yo puppy. I asked Bobbi what is the secret of our successful relationship, Bobbi just looked at me and did not answer. He helped me understand that silence is the best answer to this question 🙋
You really need to get out more.lol
@@gracerodgers8952 if you consider that Tesla fall in love for a pigeon... and it was Nokola Tesla😀
You have to be comfortable with just someone's company and that does mean just sitting in silence.
Absolutely loved the ending of this interview! This level of communication between male friends is rare unfortunately.
Nomo
We need more people like Lex in this world. What a beautiful human being he is. He has so much passion about life and love. Can you imagine if we lived in a world where everybody loved like him? What a beautiful world it would be 🌈💛
He virtue signals about love a whole lot but his hippie quotes on Instagram don't really mean anything. What does he DO that SHOWS love? Nothing
@@manfrombritain6816 He lives it, doing what he LOVES, BY ACTION!!
I married my wife after 5 months of dating. But we already knew we were gonna be together from the first day. You will never be prepared so don't prepare, there is no instructions manual. Just be respectful, brutally honest and have empathy. Don't be reactive, analyze and talk everything through.
After 5 yrs we are still going strong, now expecting. :)
I was a bit confused by Andrew's reply when I first watched it, but then I watched Lex's routine video. The more I think and talk to others, the more I understand. You simply don't have the time for a relationship, if you have only an hour or so available daily for connection with someone. That's simply not enough. But then you kind of think you *need* to work towards a relationship and that is the source of that pain. There are simple checkboxes about a relationship that you need to tick off like willingness to commit, make compromises with your personal space and sacrifice time from personal and work related stuff to be with someone. I think Andrew is hinting towards the fact that Lex simply doesn't have the time.
At one point I was deep into the self-improvement rabbit hole and filled my day with all sorts of “productive” endeavors and hobbies and also told myself that I just don’t have time, but the reality was that I was distracting myself from my inability to engage with women, until I learned that it’s better to put off a couple of “productive” hobbies and focus on meeting someone special. You should only make time for things you truly want to do, so the whole “I just don’t have time because I work out and do jiujitsu and play guitar and run with David Goggins and read research papers” is simply a cope and a deflection from the fact that he’s clearly not the most alluring guy to women, especially being shorter than Joe Rogan.
I agree with you, especially if you are a person that needs your alone time
10:17 He certainly is Right There. Losing someone to death almost makes you never want to have another relationship ever again. It's literally devastating.
Been married 39 years we like each other besides love each other - one of the things we both do is recite the reasons we married each other almost weekly- we also like our routine and the simple things to do together- - we’ve had both easy times and hard times - the Apostle Paul says he learned to be content in all circumstances- that plays into it too - we try to be happy in all circumstances- (i.e. family problems, financial problems, and health problems) Get busy you two- get married soon - you need to procreate - it’ll work out! Thanks for the podcasts - both Lex and Andrew.
6:00 is so spot on. Good relationships are all about knowing what dynamic you want and need, and finding that. We live in a society where having a preference for one relationship dynamic over another may be negatively viewed (and not tolerated) depending on the frame of reference of the person perceiving you.
"There's 4 arrows in a romantic relationship:
1. There's the arrow pointing from you to the other; how you feel about them.
2. There's the arrow pointing from the other to you; how they feel about you.
3 and 4. There's the arrow that comes right back at you; how you think they feel about you, and how they think you feel about them."
Seems like it can be programmed
Lex’s future wife is going to be one incredibly lucky woman. I’ve never seen someone so genuinely kind and empathetic while also possessing intelligence and logic greater than 99% of the worlds population. I think he would be a very attentive and nurturing husband while able to remain grounded in reality. Lol as if it’s not obvious I think he possesses everything I would look for in a husband.
😏😏😏😏
Definitely
Well: Shoot your shot then I guess 😂
Lex with the W Rizz
@@danielkaminski4150 I mean, he is a virgin in his 30’s so I don’t think that applies
falling in love is a profound experience, but staying in a long marriage is a decision you make every single day. staying with one partner requires a lot of work and patience.
It's easy if you're with the right person
I simply see too many miserable people around me in relationships that it’s completely turned me off from it. I spent most of my 20’s dating and it was miserable. Obviously, I had a huge part in the making of that misery. That’s why I prefer being alone
Same. Love is vaporware, that people sell each other, but no one ever finds. Worst of all if you get to know "successfully married" people, their marriages is boring as hell.
Agree. Being alone is being fully free. What I hate about relationships is I gotta do things I don't wanna do, like having dinner with her friends or family, going to her families parties, funerals etc..
Lex, all you need is a woman who you can make laugh, and who makes you laugh. It makes bonding easy fast and deep.
Well that's difficult to find...I hang out with gals a lot and funny is not err their top suit.
Just saying.
@@thefacelessquestion3333 unlucky you.
@@thefacelessquestion3333 I know TONS of women that are hysterical. You must attract boring women....
@@thefacelessquestion3333 people who focus on a "public face" are often unable to form healthy bonds. Lots of damaged guarded folks among us.
After listening to over 100 episodes, I can’t help but wonder about Lex’s love and sex life. He so romanticizes every aspect of existence, yet it seems as though a woman is the one thing he’s never really swooned or lusted over.
You are so strange for giving that much of a shit about his personal life lol especially sex life, ain't none of your business
Yes im thinking the same. I believe he is from a different times when AI conquered human. So he went back in time to convince everyone to be nice to robots. If he has a woman and a Child here his entire existance is in trouble.
Or he is gay
@Ted Wilson Well put. Male emotions are just as intense, we just don't express them in messy ways very often. But when we do - look out....
@@TheWilliamHoganExperience the thing about male emotions is that we are pretty simple women are such a minefield it’s really hard to navigate
Someone wrote, " If a man can't find a woman out of a hundred woman, perhaps it's not a woman he's looking for." He just needs to find one kind, loving mom for his kiddies, not a Joe-Rogan-Clan approved trophy.
Making yourself vulnerable ( because only the close ones could really hurt you to the bone) is a scary idea and unfortunately, love is exactly that.
But it can also give way for someone that truly loves you to empathize with you. But yes unfortunately its two sides of the same coin. When you're vulnerable you can both get hurt and be taken care of and understood
14:28 "I'm able to be alone, but I'm much happier with another person." Living alone is like a comfortable straight line for me. No ups or downs. But there is this very special woman and we're in the process of getting to know each other more. My former straight line of life looks now like it would have been drawn by a seismograph next to an erupting volcano.
I got bad news for you. I've been there twice now and this level of instability will only ever get worse and worse
@@manfrombritain6816 she has already delivered me „the bad news“ not long after I had written this.
I‘m still in the process of getting over it.
I know this sounds stupid and it is definitely as stupid as it sounds, but I knew she would be „the one“.
The only thing special in life is life itself.
@@tubecrash3819 it can be tough, but learning to love and enjoy the good parts while learning from the bad is all part of the process. hang in there, it's just part of magic of life, both good and bad.
I love how you guys just listen to each other. That’s what makes a good friend. You truly hear one another.
it is soooo cute to see 2 nerds complimenting each other .. no eye contact and sincere feelings .. great human beings ..i wish sometime in my life i get to speak to either of them ..sadly i dont have the pedigree ..ROFL
wdym you dont have the pedigree?
@@peaklander1 well i haven't done anything out of the blue to merit attention of either of them ..not that i feel sad about it .. just that almost all the peeps he speaks to have a great intellectual caliber
I died when he talked about their future kids rolling together 😭 ❤️
Love this session. Andrew is plainly honest as a big brother to Lex.
That ending was so wholesome :) Ditch the ladies Lex, you and Huberman are a match made in heaven.
"You just notice something special about that person... and you just want to keep pulling on that thread"
I absolutely love that aspect of both you and Andrew! you two are clearly such good friends and I experience so much joy when you two (or anyone else for that matter IE Tim Ferris and Kevin Rose) can speak so openly and have a good time, WHILE giving viewers like me and so many other a very cathartic experience because were all trying to answer the same questions at different moments in our lives. Thanks Lex :)
Od zawsze wychodzę z założenia ( uważam ) , że jeżeli już dzielić swoje życie z drugą osobą to tylko taką przy , której w pełni możemy być sobą , której
naprawdę ufamy , na którą wiemy , że
zawsze możemy liczyć , ponieważ jak
wiemy życie składa się ze wzlotów i upadków .
Jak mówił mój Św.pamięci Tata i o czym sama przekonałam się w swoim życiu nie raz
" Życie to nie jest bajka ..."
Krótkomówiąc jeśli już dzielić swoje
życie i swój czas to tylko z mężczyzną , który na to naprawdę zasługuje ( w moich oczach , napewno nie z polecenia kogoś innego ) , mówię
to z przekonaniem opierając się zawsze tylko na własnych doświadczeniach .
Zauroczenie a prawdziwa miłość to zupełnie coś innego ( Dwie zupełnie odmienne historie .)
I'm convinced part of the problem people have with relationships and finding somebody to love comes down to communication. The reality is everybody has a different idea of a what a relationship is supposed to be and if both parties don't actually tell the other person it leads to both people feeling like the other person doesn't care about them.
It's why I'm a firm believer that people need to discuss religion, kids, and the role they expect the other person to play in your life. If you want a housewife you need to be a front when you're dating somebody; The other person might have the expectation that is going to be an egalitarian relationship with 50/50 split of all chores. If you want kids and the other person doesn't just straight up say in the beginning so the other person doesn't fail to meet your expectation. For instance when I was dating my now husband I made it clear that if we had kids child care would be split as equal as possible. If you're religious and you expect your partner to come to church with you regardless of their belief you need to be up front as that's a deal breaker to some people. When I've dated in the past I made it clear that I wouldn't start a relationship with somebody who's couldn't do basic cleaning and cooking as that is an indicator to me they can't be an equal partner which is my expectation. If you want to find a compatible person to be with and one day love you need to make sure your expectations are clear and make sure you're both compatible. It's not wrong if you have different expectations; it's wrong if you don't communicate them or go in with the toxic idea that you can change them.
Part 3?? Does it really matter? He's a beautiful human being. He won't even have to try imo.
Thank you both.
No need to overthink it. If there is shared attraction, shared core values and shared desire to orient towards truth..the rest is a process of spiritual growth in tandem with another person. Something that you have to choose and refresh all the time because just like everything else in the universe things stagnate and entropy is a law of nature. The best part about being in a relationship with another person on that level of intimacy is that it holds a mirror up to yourself and your own shortcomings very clearly. As long as both parties recognize the relationship as a catalyst for growth any hardship can be overcome
I had to go through all my past relationships to really appreciate my current one. I love my wife.
keys to a successful relationship: loyalty, honesty, sharing a goal/ideal, continually investing in the relationship by talking, doing stuff together, and for each other. It's not rocket science.
I'm ready for pt. 4 with Huberman
I've been listening to both your podcasts for a while now, and I just want to say thank you for sharing these more "personal" parts of yourself. It's sweet to hear your thoughts on love and relationships.
The universe has jokes! My two favorite guys are single. Yay. I love Lex because he is soft inside and out and he is very transparent. I love Andrew because he understands his own chaos within and without, I hope one day the neurons in his brain and the neurons in his heart will get along and stop fighting for territory, he is getting there. As for my dear beautiful Lex, don't be afraid to fall in love, love is not a black hole and it needs no preparation, you just need to be.
Andrew is not single, he's married.
@@humble_integrity Delete that comment please 😾
😵💫😱😜
I’m confused what is it about people that they demand for *other* people to be in a relationship? It’s arrogant to claim to know that someone will be happier, you don’t actually know that
Love is not a black hole but is definitely a hole in the pocket, of men
Lex has figured out a.i and when he's ready he'll try figuring out woman for the rest of us...can't wait for the pod
@@Joe-sg9ll not married huh?
@@Joe-sg9ll im happily married w 3 kids but I do see what is happening in our country on top of everything else men aren't men anymore were at a 4th turning, weak men create tough times
Honestly, women are not that hard to understand, the difficulty lies within the fact that as men we try to see their behavior through our own lense, and understand it within those parameters.
Once you understand the different parameter, women stop being mysterious.
@E nah I get it lol
It's a journey to self love. Once you learn to love yourself the right one will come and that is when you are ready for true love. I enjoy your podcast.
Lmaoooii bro self love is the corniest most nonsensical phrase ever
05:00
*Talking about the book : **_Can love last_*
Or the secrets to a good relationships
12:45
*Do you want to be in a relationship?*
*Or : What do you want your daily routine to look like? Are you OK with it comporting everyday couple activities, or not ?*
15:02
*Lex being grateful for the way Andrew his. And doing it, showing to be an awesome friend or lover, a likeable human being."*
what he says around 12 min in really resonates for me. Being more like Lex in that people would describe me as emotionally robotic at best, I struggled with actual committment. Not in terms of fidelity, but the intellectual idea of committment wasn't automatically attached to marriage for me. So I gave up too quick, got divorced. Looking back I realized that people like myself who aren't driven by emotion need to treat committment to a person like I did to my jobs. If I just "decided" that marriage was my life, I could have committed to it successfully I think. Everyone involved, me and my ex and our son are fine for the most part. We always have gotten along fine post divorce. Knowing all of this I know it was my flippant view of commitment that was the weak point of our marriage.
Don't be too harsh on youeself. Usually, after a break up, especially you one havn't met someone new in a shrot period of time, we tend to idiolize our former partners. I'm sure, there were a lot of other reasons you broke up.
Lex , your one of the smartest, youngest , people in modern history . But I said it before and I'll say it again .. you're a hopefull/hopeless romantic. Don't overthink women, and remember time keeps on slippin,slippin, slippin, into the future. Time is finite.....Much respect
I love hearing Lex and Andrew share their love and admiration with one another.
The real reason Lex is single is he’s following the K-pop model of getting female viewers by inspiring hope that one day he might be their boyfriend
What? 🤦♂️
Truth 🤣
Sounds like someone is projecting 🤦🏻♂️
@@Thisisaweirdthing2makeusdo it was a joke mate
Where do I sign up?
Three systems have to be in place and in harmony - mind, body and spirit.
"I fall in love with people, objects ..."
Well... how illuminating.
Good honest communication is the most important part of relationships.
You can and should be able to be honest without being cruel.
This is the key.
Married 33 years.
✌🍀
P.S. She's being programmed😂
When you're alone, the only love you'll ever know is loving yourself.
You will never know what love is until you are ready to sacrifice a part that you love in yourself, like complete freedom.
Maybe this is the one thing you’re overthinking, when it happens it’s very simple, that was the case for me :)
I was married 12 years to somebody. I didn't really know very well when we first got married and now we're divorced and I'm very grateful that I'm single and alone and able to do the things that I want to do and work on myself
Two of my favorite people! Love both you guys and the amazing work you both do! True inspirations. This was so cute; made me smile & my heart warm.
You fall in love with people's mind. Lex has a beautiful one I guess. Huge respect for his humbleness and wisdom!
I had a best friend in highschool who was a female. People always thought we had physical contact. We never did. I honestly just loved her as a person and spending time with her.
Once she got married, her husband said she couldn't talk or see me again. Lol.
That's sad. Most likely she got a divorce and never forgot about you and felt guilty for letting you go for some jerk.
And she agreed? Not the act of a best friend.
I’m married , have a husband ❤️ (a techie 🤓) , we have a home, children , careers. I want to respectfully say Lex , you won’t have ANY problem finding someone special 🥰😉
True Love for me has been allusive. But the stand ins have been thrilling.
I'm single, I've tried but it never seems to work, I think some people are just meant to be single.....and I'm one of them. There are different reasons, but I've realised that the main one is that I don't want to be miserable !
This is beautifully open and analytical in such a positive way. Lex needs to get in the dating game to experience and recognise what he doesn’t want …. To therefore find recognise what he does want!
Such an energetically costly way of going about things, I’m sure it works for some people though. But this is why I can’t date, just one relationship would upend me so much and take so much energy. Having lots of them like a series of taste tests is unimaginable.
I chose to love someone romantically for the first time in my lifetime, and I continue to make that decision. We weren’t meant to be, and sometimes our physical attractiveness and friendliness may draw in unwanted attention (for the both of us). Although we weren’t meant to be and we are not necessarily soulmates, I’ve found love in the randomness and beauty in the choices we make to live together and love each other ❤
The shared vacuity between these two shows how science leaves us unequipped when it comes to such things as love
Yes that deep friendship like you guys have is what it’s like but the only way to get closer is to go inside of them.
They say “don’t let it get into the friends zone”. I think that advice is wrong. I also think the definition of being a “friend” is also diluted. Based on my experience I’ve had with my wife and some wise advice I’ve had in the past I suggest:
1. Commit to becoming a healthy version of yourself
2. Find someone you can be best friend with and that has the same commitment. (And that you also have chemistry with… gotta have the attraction)
3. Commit to each other through thick or thin.
It’s not a “friend” if there’s chemistry. That’s what is meant by friend zone. Women don’t “friendzone” men they’re attracted to.
So the advice is good.
I disagree. I think one can be a friend and have chemistry. I think the term “friend zone” should be changed means “not sexually attracted to you zone”. It has nothing to do with friendship.
Ill rather be single than will smith 😜
for sure
Too soon 😂
As a woman I have to agree with that statement. What that jezebel is putting him through is horrific.
This is a good example of overthinking.
the more you realize how much social media has messed up modern relationships.. the more you'll realize Lex is too smart for most women out there. Doesn't have time to waste on dumb stuff/drama.. that's just my opinion.
i know. id feel like it was a penny/leonard relationship and he prob would look at me like i was a dancing monkey
Thats exacly how I feel.
What you want might make you cry ,what you need might pass you by if you don’t catch it .What you need ironically Will turn out what you want to be if you just let it…When it hurt so bad by Lauryn Hill
Lex probably has a damn near impossible time finding women even close to being on his level because he’s so incredibly intelligent.
Hey somebody is actually saying something that actually makes sense and truthful. He need an intellectual-type woman that will not just engaging in small talk.
Amongst others; kindness, selflessness, humour, generosity of heart, being supportive, non judgmental nor being easily offended all contribute to a joyful life collaboration.
Lex is single because: He stars in a trilogy on youtube entitled: "Why Lex Fridman is single"
Thanks for putting these thoughts in public. It is very heartwarming to see.
I feel like Lex is into some freaky stuff. Incredibly intelligent, fit and wealthy. That’s a recipe right there 😂
And five foot six
@@benhallo1553 That was cruel :D
@@benhallo1553 well maybe he can stand on a mountain to make himself feel taller than he really is ...
Mr Lex Gray
@@axiomic Or maybe, juuust maybe, he's not insecure about his height???
I came up with a new word a few years ago, describing relationships we create with all things in life: revelationship. I believe in every relationship we have, it is there to ‘reveal’ to us more about ourselves.
There is a podcast called, "philosophize this." If you enjoyed this discussion I highly recommend checking out, "philosophize this - Nietzsche -pt 3 Love." This is not my podcast, I am not affiliated... But I love this subject, no pun intended, and anyone else who enjoyed lex and Andrews talk would appreciate that episode. Cheers!
Lex would certainly do good having a romantic partner that is actually Will to talk about Nietzsche and not the typical small talk
This piece of clip is revolutionary, mark my words, it’s gonna be around on YT for a long time
When I hear Lex talk about love it feels like a virgin talking about sex, desperate and wanting to believe in this ideal that everything will change once they're not a virgin.
He's still a virgin too
🤣🤣🤣 yo these comments are gold
Well, it does change, but only in that you can now shrug off that desperate ideal lol
I don't think you're too far off the truth. Dudes overthinking it
He might be a virgin
Being in a good relationship, though different for all, really means a commitment to not leaving when the going gets tough.
guy who constantly talks about love doesn't allow himself to commit to love
This guest is brilliant. I completely agree with 100% what he said.
Always a joy hearing from Lex
"If you wanna be a warrior prepare to be hurt, If you are an explorer prepare to be lost, if you become a lover prepare to be both."
What a quote 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
More insightful than most people in relationships
I’m 20 and I’ve tried it in high school it didn’t work. I see everyone around me in relationships where they are miserable. I’ve had my heart broken gotten over it and quite frankly I’m not in a hurry to get back in that. I have 0 interest in dealing with the emotions or problems of a woman. I’m happy right now and yeah I could be happier if I had someone but im not willing to take that leap of faith which could ruin me at the end of it when im already happy.
Life is pain. Death is pain. You cannot escape either, and once you confront that head on, I personally believe you will be a better person for it.
seen a lot of people in the comments make fun of Lex for being single. I've been going through the same thing for nearly my entire life. I refuse to settle for just anyone and I'm busy most of the time. I'm okay with being alone and I'm also okay having someone in my life. I don't get why it bothers other people. Also, any woman would be blessed to have Lex in their life.