Miscellaneous Myths: The Minotaur
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- Опубликовано: 8 окт 2020
- Ah, Theseus. Athens' favorite trash man. Let's talk about someone a little more interesting - literally anyone involved in this story will do.
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Theory: someone who hated the minoans saw all their bull iconography, called them bull fuckers, and the joke got WAY out of hand
i mean their favorite sport was basically bull rodeo so it wasn't really hard to make that joke
This reminds me of how Prince Achmed just wants his tiger. His army even put on a song for him about it.
@@Tustin2121 All hail Achmed the tigerfucker
Sounds like it was a regular Athenian insult hurled at anyone from Crete.
Sounds about right
Red: "Stop boning animals!"
Loki: *currently a mare about to be impregnated by a horse* Huh?
Loki: I'll pretend I didn't hear that
Loki does as he/she/they pleases...
Even if it is pretty messed up.
JRHNBR
He freaking fathered a snake the size of the world.
Excuse me *what-*
There’s something that makes sense about a goddess of mazes ending up with the god of madness and wine
Ikr
Dyonisus, drunk af: honey I'm homeee
Ariadne, also drunk: hey sweetie, i turned the house into a laberinth
@@sramtae5820 everyone else: why?
Them: why not?
One of the most functional and crazy couples out there
Spiral Vibes
Ah yes, the Minotaur, the first cowboy.
Firstly, I'm pretty sure i read this before on tumblr
Secondly, HOW DARE YOU!!!
@@monhunterz5430 mwahahahaha >:)
I mean he isnt wrong his he
@@unseenmonster4506 Nope and here is another shower thought that I'm pretty sure no one thought of.
Therapist, are just vent doctors.
@@theweirdgamer4073 ...
We have 2 minutes to live, but when we breathe the timer resets.
Decapitating the Minotaur sucks because unlike other monster you can’t really show it of as a trophy.
“And this is the head of the Minotaur, half man half bull monstrosity that ate humans in a labyrinth”
“Dude that’s a cow”
No, it's not! Here's the rest of his body.
Dude, that's a dude.
How would _you_ turn it into a trophy? Cut off its whole torso?
@@timothymclean cut it down the middle
@@z.j.karasik9601 Vertically or horizontally?
@@timothymclean yes
Can you just imagine Ariadne's face as she watches her ex's life go downhill while she's chilling at a rave party her immortal husband's hosting?
Ariadne: "Tragic." *dainty sip of Olympian nectar and Bacchanal wine cocktail*
@Mullerornis Care to explain why? I don't know about the Scythian gods myself.
@@airmanon7213 it doesn't look like we know a lot about the Scythian pantheon, but apparently they did have their version of Hestia as the Queen of the gods so that probably speaks well
@@lorendaemon7945 Because Hestia is part of the Virgen Trio, because she's the goddess the home & hearth, or because she's basically the Greek god equivalent of the stereotypical 'everyone's favorite aunt'?
@@darkherculeskabuterimon7203 it's the first one I feel like the peaceful god of the hearth being queen says good things about what the culture valued I guess
My headcanon: Dionysus made Theseus's love life a misery because he ditched Ariadne on an island.
He probably give Eros monney to make Theseus love life horrible
I can certainly see that.
@@despinasgarden.4100 He bribed Eros with booze cuz Aphrodite wouldn't let him have any. He's too young.
@@masodemic4509 I love this SO MUCH
Headcanon approved
Dionysus: **has a functional relationship **
Zeus: HEY
I don't think Zeus is even capable of conceptualising a functional relationship.
Whats that?
@@gingermcgingin1733 He is still married to Hera, so I guess things are working out for them😂
@@decoral yeah, & she does her damnedest to kill off all the illegitimate children he has with other women & often the mother too. Doesn't strike me as healthy.
@@gingermcgingin1733 this is true
Could you imagine the Minotaur and Icarus having a chat like just:
Icarus: "So apparently the only reason we're in here is because my dad made a fursuit for your mom."
Minotaur: "So does that make us brothers?"
Icarus: "I don't know... maybe."
I think more like uncle and nephew.
That makes them step-cousins, at best; but really just "You're the son of my dad's boss."
@@Nazuiko what are you doing step-cousin
Ta Ba **dies**
@@Nazuiko Make that "my dad's boss's wife's affair son." The minotaur isn't descended from Minos, though arguably there is a bloodline connection through Poseidon that makes the minotaur and Minos somewhat half brothers or cousins.
"I need a cow suit"
"Why"
*"Recreational purposes?"*
"Seems legit."
People who do commissions for a living be like
Ahh, yes, like all poor comission artists, they do not question the kinky shit they are commissioned to do
Commission artist: "By recreational purposes what do you mean? How big do the holes need to be and where do they need to line up?"
Judge nothing, keep an open mind, and make sure to drink a lot of alcohol while making whatever to temove inhebitions.
"By the way -- I charge a reasonable premium for no questions asked. Also, I have expenses. You'll have to give me the tools and materials I need."
Later ...
"Dad, where did these feathers come from?"
"I was using them for padding for the inside of the Queen's cow suit. Rough leather on bare skin's not really nice, son."
"Same with the wax?"
"Yep."
"So why are they in the middle of this labyrinth?"
"Because King Minos is too cheap to buy extra storage space in his castle."
"Forced oceanic trade"
"Also known as piracy"
Lmao I'm dying.
This channel has some of the best euphemisms for piracy. This one might've been even better than "involuntary treasure reallocation".
“Organized seafaring theft”
I wonder, why did Minos not just, you know, breed the bull with his cows and THEN sacrifice it? High quality offspring and Poseidon still gets his bull back.
Zeus, horndog that he is, frowns upon killing your family members, so he might have been trying to avoid a celestial SMITE
@@mutantmaster1 Breed the *original* bull *with his cows* for high quality *livestock* offspring.
Because, he is an idiot.
I'd cite examples of this but you pretty much have all the evidence you need right here in this video.
Because if Minos was smart, there wouldn't be a story.
How exactly did Minos become a judge of the dead, again? He always seemed like an utter ass to me. Why would Hades have him in that position?
Pasiphaë: "I want to commission you to make me a fake cow suit so I can get close to my husband's divine bull. Do you think you can swing it, or is it too weird for you?"
Daedalus: "Lady, this wouldn't even crack the top ten in weirdest fetish crap people have wanted me to build."
Ah, the curse of being the greatest inventor in the world. Not only do you have to keep dodging the tyrannical kings who want you to build them torture devices and complicated palaces, you keep getting calls from people who are determined to satisfy their kinks at all costs.
@@redwitch12 it's a shame he didn't anticipate Minos being an asshole
One presumes he charges extra for weird kink shit.
redwitch12 or the kinky tyrants who want both
@@MrDalisclock Better weird kink shit than the fucked up torture devices for tyrannical kings. Hell, given the budget differences, I wouldn't be surprised if the kings got the extra charges.
When you consider the whole "maiden of the labyrinth" thing, the Ariadne plus Dionysus connection gets especially interesting, seeing as earlier versions of Dionysus depict something of a deity of madness and the unknowable. They're really made for each other -- thematically, at least.
It's a very Ursula Le Guin take.
I mean yeah but do consider that in these labyrinths youre not supposed to get lost in(its one long line) its for religios dances
And there are some stories that the Labyrinth could make you go mad (which makes sense as it’s an isolating underground never ending maze with certain death as the prize) so that fits well too
Looking further in to labyrinths (how have I never done that before now?) they also appear to involve themes of introspection and rebirth, both of which would be appropriate to associate with Dionysus to some degree. Perhaps the 'Lady of the Labyrinth' was a Deity of deep introspection, religious euphoria, or some other altered mental state similar to the drunken state associated with Dionysus. But y'know, involving the labyrinth somehow. Coupled with Dionysus' own muddled biography that could somewhat explain how a plot that would typically be the focal point of a Greek myth (god falls for person, for real this time, person becomes immortal) is instead almost awkwardly stapled on to the end of one.
@@Dyneamaeus all this discussion really brings home how little we know and how much we have to speculate. I would love to know the original beliefs, but this is a fantastic theory.
Can we all just admire Daedalus’s professionalism? He essentially gets a kinky commission and refrains from judging his client.
Well, he was a proud craftsman and would gladly take on even the most difficult and/or ridiculous challenge to prove he could do it.
Daedalus was the first commission artist that allowed nsfw
Didn't he kill his nephew or am I just stupid
@@moonseaeeveelutionsdance8863 Yeah, he attempted and either succeeded or his nephew's life was saved by a god behind the scenes.
@@moonseaeeveelutionsdance8863 He killed his nephew Perdix out of jealousy (of having more potential as a craftsman than him), yes.
Fun fact: Dionysus references Theseus ditching Ariadne in Hades.
Posideon also apologizes at one point for the Minotaur. He refuses to explain just says its a a long and boring story.
I SCREAMED when I saw it come up in the game super casually.
Supergiant Games did their research
Theseus says something too if you have the yarn of ariadne on you in his fight
@@lissaquon607 ........
Some say he's actually his son....
Anyway,he's the cause behind his existence, at least.
Ah yes, my favorite greek myth, "The original fursuit"
Look up 'skinwalker'
Why would you say that
It would have cost you nothing
Now I'm stuck with this
This made me died 5 times
@@gingermcgingin1733 i dont think i will
I spit out my very, very hot coffee
Dionysus having one of the most stable Olympian relationships. Didn't see that one coming
The fact that the word stable is not being used as a pun here is both giving me hope and making me die inside.
Dionysus and Hades be chilling on the sidelines while the rest of the gods be getting it on with everyone *but* their significant others
It funny how the the alcoholic is one of the more kind gods.
Star maker 75 he’s a happy drunk
@@starmaker75 You think, until you see all the guys he turned crazy and into various animals and grapes.
There's a hilarious side-story to Dionysus and Ariadne's love story.
So in-between Dionysus seeing Ariadne on that island and them getting together, a local nymph named Psalacantha approached Dionysus and offered to be his wingman in wooing Ariadne in exchange for sexual favors. Shockingly, Dionysus -- the GREEK GOD OF HEDONISM -- refused this offer. Psalacantha, bitter at being rejected, went and told Ariadne "Hey, don't talk to that drunk god or go anywhere with him, stay away from him" out of spite, so in retaliation Dionysus turned her into a new plant named after herself. Fortunately, Ariadne didn't listen to Psalacantha.
The scene where the bull gives a PSA about his standards is friggin hilarious.
Pasiphae: Hey there, hot stuff...
Bull: Oh puh-LEEZE! I only date real cows!
"so aphrodite made his wife fall in love with a bull"
oh no
"but then the bull has standards and politely says no"
oh okay thank god
"but then the wife decides to put on a cow costume"
OH *_NOOOOOOO_*
Oh MOOOOO
panik, kalm, PANIK
Today this sort of thing is called a Zooaphile. They are the folks who are to furries what furries are to 'normal' people.
I love the fact that the bull has standards, it's makes me all happy!
jocontemporary It could be worse. Red never mentioned how exactly the Aloadae (see the “Ares’ Abduction” video) were conceived, but... well, let’s just say you may think twice about going to the beach ever again after you hear the full details.
broke: calling yourself an pirate
woke: "i am an merchant that deals in forced oceanic trade"
the best version of being so woke
You can also use the term "adventure capitalist."
I prefer “High-Risk Trader”
"Cargo Embargo Redistributor" is the way I like to spin it. Pirate is such a naughty yet accurate way to put it.
defenseive kobra
So... Privater?
The fact that you made Poseidon literary gave Aphrodite a twenty dollar bill is just perfect.
20 Dollars are 20 dollars
Red: Theseus is best boy!
Me: ...you sure about that-
Red: *immediately shows list of fuck ups going off the page*
Me: There it is.
Best out of the boys of Athens, at least.
@@lemeres2478 I’d pick Alcibiades over him any day.
Of course he’s best boy! An Athenian kidnapping a Spartan (Helen’s original home) automatically makes him the best boy! Hmm. Actually, I wonder why the Spartans always get a bad rep… oh, yeah. Athens wrote all the stories. Right.
Laughs in Zagreus!
@@christopherfleetwood5252 “Asterius. Other Guy.”
I love how Minos is the only person in Greece whos a jerk because he didn't kill something
It's more that he killed the wrong thing.
@@elijahpadilla5083 It's not a killing. Minotaur did all the murders.
@@kosiak10851 The wrong bull. He sacrificed the wrong bull.
A god basically gives him the crown and he decides to try cheating said god by offering a sacrifice of lesser quality while keeping the beautiful bull as a trophy of sorts. That's pretty lame since Poseidon didn't ask for much as all and Minos is so greedy that he's willing to go back on the one promise he made.
@@kosiak10851 That doesn't really absolve Minos. He still orchestrated the killings, which would (I believe) make him guilty of something along the lines of conspiracy to commit murder. (Any lawyers in the room are more than welcome to correct me if I'm wrong.)
“Forced oceanic trade”...”also know as piracy”
Not gonna lie I laughed a bit to much....
Edit: Thank you for the attention fellow _beings_
It’s a very sarcastic joke :3
It’s not stealing, it’s just forced gifting
An overly sarcastic one :)
*_B R A N D I N G_*
Otherwise known as "freelance trading"
Dionysus on a random island: snnnnnzzzzz
A maenad: Hey Dionysus! Theres this girl crying over here! What should we do!
Dionysus: Uhhhh well see if she wants any wine!
And that my friends is how my favorite greek god met his wife
So romantic😭😍
@@WhoamI-wc7pj Definitely more romantic than how my favourite greek god met his wife.
"Hey bro, I kidnapped this goddess for you."
"Zeus WTF!?"
And somehow they lived happily ever after.
@@pelipoika88 In Greece, you take the romantic stories where you can get them.
Headcanon: I read that Dionysus "dies" during the winter and is "reborn" in the spring to symbolize how grapes wither in winter and then bloom in spring. I also read a theory that Dionysus and Hestia "trade off" the 12th Olympian seat, with Dionysus sitting in it during spring/summer and Hestia during fall/winter. Add to that the fact that one of the versions of Dionysus is the son of Persephone, as well as the fact that Dionysus also has oracular powers, and here's my idea:
Whenever Persephone leaves to go back to the Underworld, Dionysus goes with her, and he throws lavish parties there for her and Hades. Ariadne would also go along, being the wife of Dionysus. So I imagine a scene of Hades, Persephone, Dionysus and Ariadne all hanging out, talking, laughing, eating, drinking, making merry and whatnot, when all of a sudden, Dionysus' oracular powers kick in, and he's able to warn Hades and Persephone of Theseus and Pirithous coming to kidnap Persephone.
So when Thes and Piri arrive, Hades has a trap in store for them... and after the two men are stuck on the rock, Ariadne "reunites" with her old flame Theseus... and promptly points at him and laughs her head off. Later on, when Dionysus and Ariadne come back to the Underworld, they hear about how Heracles rescued Theseus. At first, Ariadne is disappointed that Theseus' suffering has ended... only to get yet another laugh when she finds out Theseus' butt was left behind on the rock. XD
Yyyikes Theseus can’t catch a break… served him right I guess for leaving ariadne behind like a jerk but still.
But Hercules saved Theseus and Theseus also married to Hippolyta(Wonder Woman's mom). Also headcanon Dionysus favorite demigod is Percy a son of Poseidon.
Also kinda works with the myth of Zagreus being reborn as Dionysus because Zagreus was a son of Hades and Persephone
@@artimuos903 Percy isn't a real demigod from the myths. He's a character made by Rick Riordan and in the books Dionysus hates him with a passion. But if you're talking about Perseus the one in the mythos then he's not the son of Poseidon but instead a son of Zeus (Like every hero in Greek mythology).
@@artimuos903 Actually, in the Percy Jackson novels, Dionysus has a bit of an irrational dislike for Percy, because Theseus was also a son of Poseidon, and Percy reminds him of him...
Meanwhile
Loki: I screwed a horse and spend a year pregnant to save Asgard. It was horrible (crying like a baby).
Zeus and Poseidon: Our people do it for fun.
Loki (crying harder) Make it stop! Make it stop!
I've never heard of horse Loki before today. I really want to hear Red tell this myth next
So we don't want to remind Loki that Odin is _riding_ his kid?
@@justanotheryoutubecommente2 It was alluded to in The Prose Edda episode, but she didnt go into full detail.
@@dynamicworlds1 Depends, do you have a death wish? Because he can make that happen, death is his daughter.
Just Another RUclips Commenter there’s actually a bunch of comments on the Prose Edda video about it. What Red said was “ so Loki does his thing” what Red means is “ so Loki get chased by the horse and gets pregnant”.
Fun fact! Poseidon is the creator of horses, so his offspring being a horse is actually somewhat plausible. The wings are still a mystery, though.
Wings are recessive from Ouranus
In the oldest versions of the myth, Medusa actually had wings, apparently gold wings, as well as bronze claws and faces and wild boar fangs, a rare thing.
It is as said at the beginning of the video, the Greeks (and most civilizations) to create monsters simply mixed animals at random.
What @Alguien Cosa said. The wings came from Medusa.
@@alguiencosa6634 that explains pegasus mostly ignored sibling, Chrysaor being in some images a golden boar with wings
Oddly the sky and waters were seen as a reflection then often wings were put in place of fins. I could be wrong but I think that it goes back to when Posidon was king of the sky.
It’s kinda amazing how simple it is to turn this less disgusting.
Poseidon: ”So, you like my bull eh?”
*Puts a curse on Minos so that his next child will be the minotaur*
Minos: ”Oh come on!”
Pretty much exactly how it went in the book of Greek Myths I read in middle school lol.
Joseph Campbell used that joke in a lecture. "So you love the bull? Alright, I'll make your woman love the bull too." something like that.
I just had a horrible realization, minos is a model father figure, he didn't leave his son, he fed his son, and got mad when his son died even though he isn't even his son!
I mean he still locked the minotaur in the labyrinth so he isn't really a model father
@@isaacorr3180 oh fair point, I think at the time I made this I had a explanation but i have long since forgotten
@@isaacorr3180to be fair if minos didnt lock up the minotaur then Crete could b in danger
family is a family but he has a kingdom to protect
He's the father that spet up
@@isaacorr3180 It was either that or the minotaur would probably eat his subjects.
I can just imagine someone in Greece going “Woah my child is a demigod. Who’s the father?” Then she finds out that it’s Zeus and she’s just like “oh ok whatever”
Zeus may be king of the gods, but having your child turn out to be sired by him is like the biggest disappointment. At least if your sugar daddy was Dionysus, you can expect your son to be a heckin' good party animal.
JoshtheOverlander I agree, finding out that your child is Zeus’s is like “ yay, my child will turn out being a pedophile
Hera looms over her with murderous eyes, because justice isn't in her vocabulary.
"Looks like Little Jimmy down the street has a new half-brother. I'll tell them to prep a seat at Demigods Anonymous for a couple years from now."
@@tobistein6639 You seriously underestimate how quickly demigods age.
5:40
"Stop boning animals"
Zeus: "No, I don't think I will"
No Zeus is the animal
Just Some Guy without a Mustache omg you’re here too?
gotta say, you so have a nice taste in content XD
Hey its the guy from the thing
Surprisingly, Zeus boned no animals, only humans.... He however was a alot of animals XD
STOP BONING ANIMALS!
"That sign can't stop me, I can't read anything from inside this fursuit."
~Pashipae probably
“HES A GROWING BOY WHO NEEDS SPACE”
the midwife who delivered the minotaur: what in the sweet home alabama is this
Considering the head usually comes first, that must have been hilarious as hell
Midwife: It’s a cow!?
Fellow midwife: What's an "Alabama"?
appelofdoom This was the founding tale of Alabama, a small nation south of Crete that died quickly, as it was only the two shocked Midwives and a handful of cousin-husbands. However, shortly before the American Southeast was colonized an archaeologist found a depiction of a woman birthing what looked like a cow. The archaeologists assumed it was some form of fertility goddess worship and thought the name Alabama would bring prosperity to one the new colonies in the growing USA. Little did he know it started as an explicative in Ancient Greece.
the minotaur prompty ate the midwife. because he does that. cause he's a bastard.
Funfact about Ariadne there is the depiction of how Ariadne become a goddess and it’s quite interesting
Basically she was traveling with dionysus spreading his cult but king Perseus accidentally turned her to stone (using Medusa head) and was smashed and dionysus was so heart broken he begged hades to let him bring her back and ask Zeus to make her a goddess
And to all those saying how happy and faithful the marriage is there is a story about that
Basically Ariadne suspected dionysus was cheating on her and cried on a beach then dionysus told her it wasn’t the case and to prove it he turned her wedding crown into a constellation
THEY'RE SO CUTE I'M GONNA SCREAM
Hey there! I know yah wrote this comment a little while ago, but would you know a video/website/etc I could go to for further reading into this story of Ariadne being turned to stone? I'm trying to write a few short stories of the Greek Gods and would love to include tales of Dionysus and Ariadne's love, so I wanna take any chance I can get to learn more about them. Thank you! :D
did... did you get this source from a fanfic called "Drunk on Love"? It sounds so similar. And im not tryna sound smart, nor ruining the fun, but didnt Dionysus/Aphrodite turn Ariadne's crown after their marriage? I mean, it _is_ a wedding crown after all.
@@yesyouarecorrect1315 no I found about this story after scrolling through the link I post above researching for a project for school but I’m interested in that fanfic can u link it to me
@@yesyouarecorrect1315 and I honestly would be surprised if there is major similarities between the fanfic and the story cause a lot of people would read a story and fill in the blank for add there own twist in fanfics
Fun Fact: The name “Minos” was a title of the ruler, like Pharaoh.
Not useful to know, just fun. I love these ruins! I’ve been to those on Crete.
That was a fun fact thank you 😊
So king minos is basically just called king king?
So, it was like Chai Tea, or Sahara Desert? Interesting.
@@vice-virgo9635 And now I learned something too! 😂
So Minotaur means Bull of the King? That sounds badass af.
PLEASEEEEE a video on Hecate/Hekate! She’s a fascinating goddess and has a silly amount of epithets and stories relating to her
^^^^^ This
YES
yes pleaseeeeeee
Ah she turns someone into a ferret and helps demeter look for persephone oh also medea used to work at one of her temples I think that's really it
Fun fact: It may seem weird that the child of a herbivore and an omnivore is exclusively a carnivore, when its head is very much the herbivore, but in reality cows are opportunistic carnivores. This means they mostly eat plants, but if the opportunity presents itself, they will eat a living creature.
This is commonly seen on farms when a baby chick wonders in the cow field and gets gobbled up.
Presumably, the Minotaur's "unique" birth cause a mutation that made plants unappetizing to its pallet, so it only at people. Or it total did eat plants, but being locked in a laberyth didn't give it much opportunity to eat anything except what Minos gave him.
also if he probrably didint have 3 stomachs to digest just plants
**whispers**
*The minotaur is just Melon from Beastars*
Reminds me of the Fate version of the Minotaur. Asterios isn't really villainous but he's locked in a Labyrinth and the only edible thing down there is people... bull's gotta eat
So Troy McClure was right when he said “If a cow ever got the chance he'd kill you and everyone you ever cared about”
Strangely enough, exactly how much and which parts of the Minotaur are bull / human can vary greatly depending on the source. The widely held belief today that the Minotaur had the head of a bull and the rest of it was human wasn't nearly so widely held back then so it is totally possible that his appearance was quite different in the original.
Last time I was this early, Zeus had just promised to be faithful to Hera
Which was never. I’ve never been this early.
The Story of Io: *am I a joke to you*
He did make that promise. He just didn't keep it
Mood
Same
Oh, he promised alright. Just, you know, didn't deliver
Theseus was my favorite Greek hero when I was a kid.
In retrospect, I'm not really sure why.
Because you didn't hear about the bad bits, or glossed over them.
I honestly feel bad for Minotaur who did nothing wrong he just was born and was forced into the monstrous role he was
It's also like, how exactly was it determined that he'd only eat humans? He's half bovine--I can totally imagine that he would have happily subsisted grazing in a large field, but his jerk of an adopted father was like, "No royal prince will be caught eating grass! No, let's use him to keep our vassal-states in line!"
Me too! Heck stories even give the Minotaur a NAME: Asterion/Asterius, which I’m thankful for the Hades game for doing. Some even call him Ariadne’s brother.
Also remember in our reality a lot of people historically drug, starve or beat animals into becoming aggressive man-eaters, so who’s to say Minos didn’t do something like that to Asterion to force him into eating people
Check out Icarus and Apollo by Jay Bell. The Minotaur/Asterion in that book turns out to be a gentle giant who’s been secretly fed and given books by Daedalus and secretly shows the 14 tributes and Theseus and Ariadne a kinda back door out of the labyrinth instead of killing them.
He’s even implied to have a crush on a boy somewhere
@@donnguyen1107 will do
@@donnguyen1107 That's beautiful.
"Stop boning animals"
A moral one wouldn't think need be stated, but here we are.
Thought that was just common sense
Furries go a looooong way back
@@raezad Furry doesn't equal bestiality.
@@raezad As I said in another comment, "Today this sort of thing is called a Zooaphile. They are the folks who are to furries what furries are to 'normal' people."
There was a case recently in our city - horse owners were warned that there was this sicko around who'd break into stables at night and rape horses in their boxes. This can seriously traumatise and even kill them (depending on their size). Thankfully, it seems they caught that bastard.
Red: STOP BONING ANIMALS!!
Loki: hey it's not my fault, he boned me!
Hey, you're the one who rolled a Nat 20 on Seduction.
@@thegreatstoneddragon9432 huh? what do you mean?
He got raped by a horse as a horse
(It hurt me to tipe that.)
@@_lucas_2066 You mean a mare.
Stop. Now
In some stories it’s stated that Ariadne would only help Theseus if he promised to marry her when they arrived back to his kingdom. Theseus doesn’t want to marry Ariadne but still wants to get help, so he agrees and then when they get to the island he sees this as a perfect opportunity to abandon her.
Wow.
Even if that was true, it wasn’t in the original version. And there was nothing stopping him from refusing to marry her once they got back to his kingdom, considering she had no more power once she left her own kingdom… aaand you shouldn’t teach people that deserting a girl to likely die on an unpopulated island is a reasonable response to them wanting to marry you, with you having all the power to reject them normally.
5:16 In a line from Dionisius in Hades, he actually mentions this encounter, as well as congratulating Zagreus for tearing Theseus a new one.
The only two gods who don’t chronically cheat on the wives.
@@gabbyabbott4965 actually there's a third one Eros
And now I am imagining three of them sitting around a table and arguing their wife is the best one.
Technically Typhon doesn’t cheat either
@Gabby Abbott actually Hades cheated on persephone twice with minthe the river nymph who persephone turned into the first mint plant and a sea nymph called leuce
Luece was a roman add on, so she never never existed in Greek mythology, Also Minthe was before Persephone and got jealous that Hades married another woman, so she started saying she was a better lover to Hades then promptly got turned into a mint plant by Persephone.
Who would be interested in Red covering the myths where Nyx scares Zeus because he was chasing Hypno, the myth where Nezha beats up the Dragon Kings, or the myth where Amaterasu and her husband/brother go on date which ends up getting a Food Goddess killed?
I would like to hear more myths about the titan's
Linfamy did that! (about Amaterasu):D
That would be awesome. I would like that.
All of the above
My top myths I hope she will eventually cover! Typical mythical shenanigans
Red: "STOP BONING ANIMALS!"
Greeks: "NO PROMISES!"
Yes indeed.
*Oh wait but I am Greek...*
*Fuck*
@@drretard0343 than a furry you shall be !
*New Zealand has entered the chat*
Yeah, who are they supposed to bone? Women?
And the Welsh.
I think one of the reasons Minos doesn’t straight up kill the monster is that’s it’s technically his son by marriage, and it’s a big no no to kill your family in Hellenistic Greece so Minos built the labyrinth as a… happy(?) compromise where he didn’t have to properly deal with the Minotaur but also not kill it.
Minos wearing one of those "I'm not the step Dad, I'm the Dad that stepped up" shirts.
I don't know why ppl kept going to the Oracle of Delphi, it literally never ends with a happy ending
No, the times when it went well just weren't interesting enough to become myths. Except that one time with the Battle of Salamis.
It's less that going poorly and more people trying to avoid the prophecies that tends to screw them over.
@@shadowldrago whether people try to avoid death prophecies or not, they will die. That's just how prophecies work.
@@Duskforge True, but it's not impossible to imagine that going out of one's way to try to screw destiny to this extent only makes it that much worse.
Hey Psyche got a good ending!
“It’s biased, filtered, and offset from the source by several centuries”
*Screams in historian*
Isn't that what all history is like anyway?
We gotta cook with what ingredients we have. *feels your pain
BlueTeller unfortunately, yes
Ariadne: My BF just killed my half bull half brother and ditched me on an Island.
Dionysus: That's rough buddy. Want some alcohol?
I wish I had a friend like Dionysus, or any friend.
I can just imagine them. They're not just a sweet divine couple, they're legit drinking buddies.
Their idea of a romantic evening is trying to drink each other under the table...and then going at it under the table. It's messy but damn if it ain't sweet.
Aw, I'm sure you'll find friends! There are plenty of dionysusy people out there to find!
It's the internet: full of the drive for booze and existential loneliness of the unloved loners.
@@reyonXIII She was into him because he could help her forget her troubles. He was into her because she could ALWAYS find where they left their car, no matter how drunk they got.
I’d like a Ariadne x Dionysus fan fiction please
Daedalus's professionalism is something to be admired.
lady walks up to him and basically asks for the worlds first fursuit and the guys like "Whatever floats your boat lady" and just, does the job anyways.
The exchange between Asterius and Zagreus is so sad if you think about it in context. Asterius asked what the surface was like and Zagreus responded kinda aloof until he realized Asterius would have never seen the sky since he was locked up in a labyrinth
Red: "Stop boning animals!"
Monkey king: "I'm technically a demon, so I'm still fair game."
Red: "HORNY JAIL! NOW!"
"STOP! YOU'VE VIOLATED THE LAW!"
Yeah, he was more into the other kind of banging.
@@gewreid5946 Like drums or...?
@Mullerornis He got married, so subtext and such. Don't see him being Christian either so the two don't cancel out.
@Mullerornis Honestly, I think his only reason would be because somebody implied no, but there's a loophole
"...Ariadne is a Cretean goddess of the Labrynth which is dope as hell, but that's NOT what we're here for!"
Dangit. Got me all excited for nothing.
King Minos, not the step dad, the dad that stepped up.
he fr delivered JUDGEMENT
Why Did it took me so long to find an ultrakill reference
Ariadne's smile at 4:45 is so adorable 🥲
It really is. Sad that Ariadne gets betrayed by him later on, but I think it still works out since she does end up with Dionysus at the end.
“Ok we are running out of stuff to make myths with what do we do?”
“Just steal Aphrodites shipping abilities and use that on two animals”
“Cool”
"Those Minoans are weird and they worship bulls."
"Hey, I bet they f*ck cows too."
-Some random Mycenaean dudes.
One thing! Just one thing! Please tell IT to me: WHY tf do I have so many fans even though no RUclipsr is unprettier than I am? WORLDWIDE!!!! WHY??? Tell me, dear dad
AxxL why tf are you here bot? If your not a bot stop being a 5 year old
AxxL hey Zeus? Yeah the lighting bolt.
Fun fact?: You know Phaedra from the myth of Hippolytus? That's Ariadne's sister. *Theseus abandoned a girl and then married her gods damned sister*
Huh this does not surprise me in the least since Theseus has no brain usually
Honestly? He deserved being trapped by Hades in the underworld, not to mention is he's fault he's son died.
@@despinasgarden.4100 Really didn't deserve to be freed, tbh
Ancient Greece, everyone!!
And then kidnapped Helen when he was bored of Ariadne's sister.
“Nothing good ever happens to heros Tommy. Let me tell you the story of Theseus.”
Was looking for this
"You want to be a hero tommy? *THEN DIE LIKE ONE* "
@@LadyMythos315 Tommy immediately gets stabbed
Tommy and Theseus?
I see no difference. No difference at all.
Dream Smp reference
When Daedalus says "Oh, that's MUCH less questionable." I swear I heard it in Blue's voice. It's just such a Blue thing to say XD
Knowing Dionysos' ancient history and the mysterious side he has(yes I watched your Dionysos video), I think it is fitting that he is actually married to a mysterious labyrinth goddess. Good for them.
It’s crazy how they’re among the few stable immortal relationships in this pantheon
@@idkanymore12 Umm hello!
Hades and Persephone
Eros and Psyche
You forgot these lovable dorks
Linezrodrigez 02 Also Perseus and Andromeda
Alas, all those listed here are the minority. These pairs are one finger short of a full hand. That's not very reassuring
@@anez1266 ah yes hades the sane one of the big three and his happy goth wife
" what kind of union could have made half man half bull?"
"well that one is pretty straight forward, but you're not gonna like it"
*rule34 has entered the chat*
I'm reminded of that gag in the Bellerophon video which showed a bird and a horse on a date to explain how Pegasus came to be.
At least this one is better than Oedipus...
Maybe...
Kind of?
The fact that she even had a cow suit commissioned...
@@oracle8535 I feel sorry for Oedipus, the poor guy didn't have a clue about everything that happened until after the fact. Then has a complex named after him as if he did it all on purpose!
I uhh.... I checked. There IS rule34 of this exact event...... No exceptions indeed.
Having recently watched the Medea video I can only conclude that “dumbass travels to a foreign land to try to be a hero but is underprepared, local princess helps and falls in love, dumbass does the thing but pisses off the locals, runs away with princess, abandons princess but princess actually has a decently life whereas dumbass pays for all his idiocy” was a popular story in Greece
At least Ariadne wasn't a murder-happy witch!
@@videogollumer Ariadne was lucky that it was Dionysus who found her and not Apollo
@@TS17ADS I don't see what that has to do with relating Ariadne to Medea.
@@videogollumer ah sorry I am not comparing Aradne and Madea I am just say if it Apollo instead of Dionysus things would have not ended very well her.
@@TS17ADS Okay then.
2:40 "The Cretin Bull has VERY high standards." *DAMN!* I don't know whether to call the bull smart or picky!
I think both
Smart, definitely smart, there's a cow who understands the natural order.
Red: “don’t let languages die kids”
Me: *studies Latin harder*
I approve.
I actually don't think Latin will ever truly die, it's too embeded in Law and medicine so there will always be a need for classes and therefore teachers.
@@Thatslifebro_ Plus we actually have it recorded very securely now
What about ancient Enochian?
Latin wasn't this hard when I was a kid!
[studies French and Norwegian at the same time]
"Stop boning animals!"
This is ancient Athens. You're being unreasonable here.
Zeus: You have no right to say that.
I know this is probably very obvious but it blew my mind when I realized the word “Minotaur” was a combination/shortened version of Mino’s Taurus. Mino-taurus
I just played Hades game a few minutes ago, who would have thought I end up fighting both of them. This is for Ariadne.
Death to the egotist
No one’s mentioning how Minos’ wife used the pick up line “ya like jazz?” on the bull
You know what's funny? Another video got released today that also said that line!
BEEstiality
I've been trying to ignore it, honestly.
I had to pause the video, that drawing made me laugh so hard.
I noticed..
What Red says: Don’t let languages die.
What I hear: PRESERVE ALL THE MEMES!!!
the dna of the souls
A lot of ancient mythologies did exactly that, so yeah! Let's preserve all the memes for future generations!
@@CJCroen1393 and in 1,000 years when all that's left is memes, people will think 2020 English was nothing but this
@@OriginalCreatorSama And they'll be right.
Technical language is the greatest, most widespread meme on earth, so yeah, go for it.
I just realized that the feeding method is extremely dark. It requires a sacrifice of 14 kids every few years? 14 minors are enough to sustain it for a few years? I can’t help but imagine how it survives off of that. Does it kill them and save their corpses somehow? Or does it keep them alive throughout the span of several years?
In some versions Minos keeps the kids imprisoned himself and lets them in one at a time
Maybe the Minotaur gets fed typical criminals most of the time, and the Athenian sacrifices are like a special feast to him?
In Italian there's the saying "piantare in asso", literally "leave/put in ace", which means exactly what Theseus did with Ariadne. The saying actually comes form there: Naxos in Italian is "Nasso" and the saying was originally "piantare in Nasso" (leave at Naxos) and then the N fell off and we got the modern version.
Okay, but what does “put in ace” mean? For “leave/put in ace”?
@@nkbujvytcygvujno6006 abandoning someone suddenly, with no warning
@@paolob.5667 Oh, okay, thanks
@@nkbujvytcygvujno6006 np
Can we get a little more info about that "Ariadne may have been a Cretan goddess" thing?
There is a mycenaean goddess named Mistress of the Labyrinth. Nothing is known about her. That's about as much as I know. I have some short stories about Mycenaean gods and how they're forgotten, but they're mostly baseless and not the best if you're actually trying to learn, since the source material is nonexistent.
Ariadne is married to Dionysus, i really want to see a video of them getting toguether
Seconded
Please Red give us more
@@despinasgarden.4100 She is the goddess of labyrinths (aka of having/overcoming orientation problems) married to the god of alcohol (aka getting/beeing drunk).
If you have ever problems with orientation or coordination after "worshipping" Dionysus, you pray to his counterpart/wife Ariadne to find your way.
Maybe the Kretes had a party game in which you gor drunk and then had to find your way while having your eyes covered or being locked in a dark basement/ tunnel system.
Dionysus probably fell in love with her after she helped him getting home after he had a blast. And she fell for him because... oh well he is the god of parties, wouldn't you?
You know, the minotaur gets screwed over. I almost sympathize with him: a poor misfit that gets mistreated by his stepfather for looking the way he does and has no healthy, emotional outlet. People forget he has a name. It's Asterius.
Chaser Neos consider that this was his reality growing up. Yeah, the minotaur ate men but Asterios didnt ask to be born. When you think about the fact that other than the half monster thing, he probably aged around the same rate as humans, its even more messed up
Not to mention the fact that given his bovine features, a carnitarian diet was probably NOT healthy for him. He has a ruminant head for crying out loud! He needs his greens!
@@zoushaomenohu yeah, but a human stomach. No way he could've digested grass effectively.
read the house of asterion by borges
He- he does need to eat people to live, though, is the thing
Gotta love the lady of the labyrinth and her husband, the god of madness
Same
In Italy we have a particular expression about this myth. The isle of Naxos in Italian is called "Nasso". From there "piantare in asso" (in origin "piantare in Nasso") that means "leaving someone all of a sudden".
No one needed this comment on a 6 month old video but here you go!
I needed it, didn't remember that Naxos was the origin for that expression, thanks!
So basically the Minotaur was one of the first furry fanfictions to ever by conceived by mankind.
Bro, how are you still kicking
Corly I’m honestly not sure how’s he’s staying relevant for that long
Mayhaps
@@a.h.tvideomapping4293 he went into a 2 year slumber and awoken a few weeks ago.
I can't unread that ever again
"STOP BONING ANIMALS"
Myths: NO.
That’s Greek mythology for ya
More Zeus and Poseidon and Loki: How about no?
“Slips Aphrodite a twenty” should not have made me laugh as hard as it did.
Red: "Stop Boning Animals!"
Zeus: "so it's kosher if I turn into Animals to bone?"
Red: "NOOOO"
Hera coming from above at Zeus with a spear
-we'll be right back
Don't bother, I'm done it with Zeus, in fact I think I'm gonna go watch videos of Kratos kicking his home breaker ass.
Thor is a way better thunder god
-we now return to your regularly scheduled program
Zeus: *screams of agony*
Considering how many abnormally large and powerful but otherwise normal animals there are in greek myths, I’d say its very likely Zeus went around making demi-animals as frequently as he made demi-gods.
@@jordanfleming7022 Zeus (watching the Calydonian Boar rampage around while Artemis stares pointedly at him): "Look, I just thought the Crommyonian Sow was a woman that had shapeshifted into a giant pig, so I figured it was gonna be a mutual kink indulgence, okay? I didn't know it was ACTUALLY A PIG and was gonna have a GIANT ANGRY DEMIGOD PIGBABY, okay?!"
Hades x Persephone
Eros x Psyche
Dionysus x Ariadne
The only Olympian Gods who have a FAITHFULLY & LOVING marriage
Odysseus and Penelope
But those are mortal but it still counts
@@crawlingboy Why would it count if we're talking about gods instead of mortals?
@@icecreamcat2476 cause they are one of the very rare stable myth relationships of greek
@@joaonunoespiritosanto6233 no they did not that is one way of the myth
Hades never cheated on her and persephone and that adonis thing has two versions
The more logical one where the boy who she raised from a baby was about to be taken away by aphrodite who has been known to cause the death of her lovers
Or the weird one where she also wanted to bang adonis even though she has stated many times how she only loves hades
Hades literally kidnapped his niece after spying on her naked. Persephone becoming queen and never being cheated on doesn't erase that.
I love the detail with the boat having a black sail, since in some tellings Theseus told his father that if he died, the ships would have black sails, and if he lives they would be white. It’s said he was in such a rush or just didn’t remember to switch the sails, so in total sorrow, his father throws himself off a cliff
My dad used tell me this story when I was a kid. It was one of my favorite stories, but the version my dad told didn't have the bull fucking, instead poseidon transformed his son into half bull with magic.
He also changed the end to be more happy, the king secretly wanted his son to die, but he didn't have the courage to kill or let him starve, so when Theseu killed him the king was sad that his son died, but knew it was the better that way.
A bull having higher standards than a human queen...I should be taking notes from this animal. *Know your worth my friends*
also, don't be fooled by wooden cow suits, friends
@@wesleybird880 A wooden cow suit made by the genius inventor Daedalus himself though.
It's like getting the smartest engineer in the world to create the best sex doll.
Wesley Bird IT’S A TRAP!
@@DarkSol16 More like the ultimate murrsuit.
So..... The queen had the greatest architect on the planet to build her the first fursuit so she could get it done with a bull
And this was all done because Minos needed a cow
Since it is used for sexual purposes it is actually a murrsuit
I'm convinced that half of the da Vincis of our time are stuck drawing smutt for some weirdos and degenerates just to keep the lights on.
Basically nothing changed.
I'm more concerned, how Poseidon's shiny big bull fell for this.
@@Alias_Anybody LOL implying that artists dont just draw that themselves, of their own volition?? For your information Da Vinci drew dicks in his notebooks too. Art is not "held back" by freak shit, it actively grows from it.
Humans have always been human, and that includes furries and drawing dicks.
I wonder if the part where Theseus leaves Ariadne behind is because of the animosity between the two societies? Like, in the original Greek, it was all but expected that he would ditch her because she was Cretan, so much so that it wasn't expressly stated in the writing. Several centuries of separation later, we read it and don't get the context. Of course, that makes it harder to explain ol' Dio coming to get her and literally taking her to heaven. Maybe a way to show the mercy of the gods, even when man won't forgive each other? Doesn't really seem like an ancient Greek message. Honestly I sometimes think whoever took down these Theseus myths pulled a Virgil and purposely showed him being the shittiest creature alive while telling us he's the best in as empty a way as possible.
So just picture the narrator with either a deadpan stare or constantly rolling his eyes as he extolls the virtues of Theseus? I can do that.
But years later Theseus married Ariadne's sister Phaedra, so how does that work?
3:46 Athens had to send 14 youths (7 boys & 7 girls) to Minoa to go into a death-maze. Maybe Athens attacked Minoa and lost and as punishment, had to give up some of their youths? That's the interpretation that 'The Hunger Games' writer favors.
The Cretan Hunger Games sounds like a cool concept.
Some versions of the myth gave an explanation that Minos' son Androgeos was murdered in Athens after he won all the games, and this led Minos to declare war on Athens. To spare lives, the Athenians had to agree to sacrifice the 7 most handsome Athenian youths and the 7 most beautiful Athenian girls.
OSP: Posted 12 seconds ago
Me, supposed to be doing my homework: THIS IS WHAT THEY MEANT WHEN HE SAID TO PROCRASTINATE BY DOING SOMETHING USEFUL WITH OUR TIME
cheers, i'll drink to that bro, supposed to be doing homework too
Nikki Taloff supposed to be paying attention to a google meet, but osp dropped a video, so rip my grades
I’m currently doing online school
I mean...we’re you doing history?
Raphaella Ponting nope
Just to tack more on the Theseus side of things: Those fourteen Athenian youths? Tribute for a war that Athens lost to Crete, varying mythological justifications abound.
The entire story is basically a revenge-fic.
Make sure your fics are written somewhere that isn’t the internet so you can mess with future archeologists.
Aren't a lot of Greek legends revenge-fics?
@@MrAuthor3DS Revenge fics with the added bonus of consequences.
Basically revenge Westerns before revenge Westerns were a thing
"Welcome home, Theseus!"
I love that more people are getting into classic mythology from techno
@@Bozzle512 nah I've been here before I even got introduced to Techno. It was more like classic mythology introduced me to Techno.
But yes, I'm glad Techno educates other people about history and mythology. It makes me happy that more people like getting into various culture's mythology.
@@theretiredandoverworkedkin9333 Same one techno stream he was talking about mythos and I was trying to send chat here to educate them
@@Bozzle512 Actually I was introduced to this channel through researching journey to the west. And the only reason that I came back here is that this is the only mythology channel I could think of that won’t be completely flooded by the blood cult.
5:11
Theseus: *Leaves Ariadne On A Island*
Ariadne: 😢😔 *Sits Down*
Dionysus: *Walks Up To Her* You okay?
Ariadne: *In A Heartbroken Tone* No….
Dionysus: *Sits Next To Her* Can I sit next to you?
Ariadne: *Looks At Dionysus* Sure
Athena: Hey Dionysus
Dionysus: Yes sis?
Athena: Some douche just left some lady on a i-
Dionysus: *Goes Straight To Ariadne*
Athena: O.O Woah
Artemis: Did it work?
Athena: Yep
Artemis: About time Dionysus got a girlfriend
Hot take: King Minos is just the world's most commited step-dad
I mean
Dude not only didn't kill the kid, but gave him a killer play pad AND a string of high quality meat
So.... Yea kinda
I honestly like to think that he got mad that theseus killed Asterion because he actually cared for him.
@@despinasgarden.4100 wait the minotaur has an actual name?
@@stugod5000 yeah, he's name is Asterion
This almost makes the Okeanos Singularity seem worth it.
*Daedalus:* "Pasiphaë, but is this hole for?"
*Pasiphaë:* "Duh. That's for me to get inside the suit, Daedalus."
*Daedalus:* "Woman, don't tell me how to engineer. I KNOW what that hole is for. What is this OTHER HOLE for?!"
*Pasiphaë:* "...Cow stuff."
big oof
Like udders and udders
@@agata6337 Always have.
Tbh, if Daedalus is already popular enough to get commissioned for *this* , I'm pretty sure he made MUCH *MUCH* worst.
Ahh yes the ancient fetish commision
4:45 Ariadne is represented so cutely, my goodness. Red, you never cease to amaze me with the details.
Can you do a story on Dionysus's love life?? Kinda wanna hear about that now.
I wanna hear it too
I’d bet Dionysus does to.
1:07 _mysterious hieroglyphs unlike any seen on earth_
I wonder what Lovecraft would have thought about this
take my like, you beautiful person
I mean, we found them on earth though
@@pairot01 Hush. Do not spoil the fun. I'll pay you likes.
@@thundergozon6439 Thank youu(/≧▽≦)/
Lovecraft was growing up around the time these discoveries were made. He might have heard of them.