This was a hard video for me to film - not because I am embarrassed to talk about mental health or feel influenced by stigma, but because some days feel shitty and I hate crying on camera but hi! Depression (and other disorders) affect ALL of us in different ways and no one's experience will be identical. Mental health is not a competition. Let's all find a way to relate to each other & offer support without being competitive or discouraging. If you are feeling depressed, anxious, suicidal....there IS hope and there ARE ways for you cope. The first step is taking control of your health and working to find solutions (they exist). ❤️
itsblitzzz your channel is one of my favorite channels ever because it’s just... you. It’s your food, your fears, your hobbies, your home, your habits, your growth, your interests, your passions, and your wellbeing. Thank you for sharing you with us here. It’s so incredibly heartwarming to see someone in their entirety. Also, by the way, zinc is incredibly helpful to get over the cold. One of the few supplements that has been proven to help.
It was brave confronting mental health. I as well suffer from depression and borderline bipolar. It affects me and the people around me. It's learning to harvest these moods so that it doesn't over whelm you. Best wishes for you, smile. Andrew from CT
Julia, this is wonderful. I think a big problem for many of us is the people we look up to on social media always seem so perfect. And so we strive to be so perfect, forgetting that we are human. So you posting this is not only brave but it is so helpful. Ugh I wish I could just speak to you in person because you touch on all the right things. Especially regarding death and darkness. It almost feels like you are speaking from my mind. Two years ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and it has been quite a ride. I also feel guilty quite often because I have a WONDERFUL family and still struggle. In September I’ll be walking for suicide prevention. And I’m so excited to be surrounded by people who have been through what I’ve been through. The support is surreal. I definitely encourage you to check it out. It’s actually not too far from Baltimore! AFSP.donordrive.com/participant/1960113 P.S. I love you.
Please don’t feel ungrateful. Do not ever compare your experience to anyone else’s. What you feel is real, and valid, and true. Period. Sending you love and light. ❤️
Also, so true about comparing mental health. ‘Just because someone is standing next to you in a body cast doesn’t mean that your broken arm doesn’t hurt.’
Somebody somewhere needed this! Sometimes hearing someone else is dealing with the same things you are is therapeutic...like you aren't alone in the"struggle"! Everybody wants to be so strong all the time and feel showing emotions/vulnerability is a sign of weakness...its not! The world says "suck it up, walk it off" but I can only imagine its easier said than done! In a way its therapeutic also for you! Sometimes just talking it out helps! Those of us with empathy and compassion, we are here for it all...ASMR...Your trips around the world...the Pole...and even those not so good days!!💕
Julia, hang in there. I suffer with major anxiety and, at times, depression. It hit me young; I work in EMS and after dealing with patient's lives (young and old), I have nightmares that haunt me and, literally, have f*cked me in the head. You are beautiful and meant to walk this earth for a long time. Stay strong, lovely ❤ P.S. Your videos help me with my mental struggles 🖤
There is no proper or inproper way to grieve . We all do it differently Julia . We all have our good and bad days . Give yourself a break and it's okay to feel all those things . Sometimes we need to feel those things to help us process . One day at a time
I've tried many many therapists before finding the right one. Some helped me a little and some made the situation worse at the time, but I didn't give up. I'm sure you'll find someone to connect with. Also, you seem like a very caring, kind and genuine person. You deserve all the love you're getting and much more! ❤️
you are a beautiful person inside and out. sometimes the hard part of feeling sad is when you don't really know why you're sad. your asmr is so comforting for me and I'm grateful that you connect with people in that way. youre doing a good job.
you did an amazing job at finally putting words to this inexplicable feeling i feel, as well. i just feel so melancholy... everything hits me at once and i do a complete 180 from a good place to a bad place in my mind. it's so crippling sometimes, and im working hard to manage it. thank you for being vulnerable and showing me that im not alone. take care of yourself, we love you ❤️❤️❤️
I was exposed to death at a really young age as well. My little brother died when I was 14. I have struggled for years with anxiety because of it and have an extreme fear of death too. It can be crippling some days. I’m always worried about losing the people I love and it’s always in the back of my head. Hang in there. You’re not alone in this struggle 💕
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I honestly can't imagine but can certainly relate to the feeling you describe. Thank you for sharing. Much love to you. ❤️
This week has been hard for me as well. I suffered from depression for 8 years and had it under control. I found out I was 23 weeks pregnant in November and my baby’s father is very unsupportive. However, my baby was a joyous thing. I was super excited to be a mom, but postpartum depression is no joke. Thank you for talking about your feelings and not making mental illness seen as a taboo thing.
I have PTSD and severe depression. Your videos have helped me relax. I trust you to be gentle with me when I'm in the vulnerable state of letting go to fall asleep. You are graceful, tender and intuitive. We care for you because you understand. Sometimes to interrupt the cycle of thoughts you need to get away from everything with complete physical relaxation. Sleep whether induced or natural is ok. A diazepam for one of scenarios is very helpful to me. I am in therapy about fear of death, etc. My worries about death stemmed from my fear of punishment by God for my earlier life. I have had a breakthrough. I wish you the same. You are very helpful to me. Thank you.
I was having a really shitty evening and just feeling very negative...this video made me cry...I'm crying as I'm typing this...but it's cathartic for me. Thank you ❤
I’m sorry for your loss, there’s no telling how we react to those kinds of things. The type of stuff you’re speaking on re:death seems similar to some existential dread stuff I am still working through, and it especially happens at night when I haven’t had enough sleep. I hope you don’t feel guilty, regardless of who you still have in your life, what you’re feeling is real and you don’t have to shrink that because you’re “supposed” to be grateful. Anyway, thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. You deserve joy, your success, and to feel free to sort through whatever emotions you’re going through no matter what. 💕
I don't think I've ever been this early. I haven't watched the video yet but I just wanted to say that I support and respect you, Julia. And it is really good to see real content on RUclips, especially related to mental health because so many people treat it like a taboo. You do you, you'll continue to get my support.
I feel this so deeply. I stay up at night sometimes fearing death, not for myself but for those I love. Sometimes I dwell on it more than other times but it usually hits me at night. I think I've also experienced some sort of panic attack but I never know how to explain it to people and it just makes me frustrated so I just don't talk about it.
We can be both our own best friend and worst enemy. But never apologize for your feelings. My son has suffered from bad anxiety/depression but since seeking help on how to deal with it he's gotten so much better. It's something that he'll probably always have, can get triggered at any moment, but he has learned on how to handle it plus he has our support. You're on the right track. There will be bad days but they aren't forever and understanding it's a process can make it seem less scary. Your story is inspiring. Keep it up! 🤗
I was hoping this video was coming! So many comments on your last IG post about mental health and people taking you all wrong. Your strength is impressive, Julia. Love you you. 💚
Exactly, I was troubled by the misunderstanding I too. I felt the same. I am really glad she is talking about it. We all need to support each other no matter the path we take to deal with life.
Thank you, Julia!! Thanks for sharing! I've been taking meds for several months cause I had the worst anxiety in my life. Or I'd rather say - the only anxiety...I've never had this happen before. I was so weird, so lost, so absent-minded, I even got into a little car accident cause of that, I was not here, but somewhere else...Now I feel waaaay better, I accepted everything what happened to me. And every time I feel like I need to refresh my mind - I take my dog and we go for a walk. As you said - around the block, or around the house. It really helps :) Take care!!! You're amazing!
I work in a mental health facility and i see all kinds of levels of mental health. Some do well with just talking, exercise and meditation, some with meds and some with both. Me, i do best with both having a pretty wicked anxiety disorder that i too have had since childhood. The best advice i ever received is that we only have today. The past is gone and the future doesn’t exist. Only the present moment, and thats all that we have control over. Thank you for sharing your journey and getting the word out that its ok to feel the way you feel ❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing this video with us. Being someone who hates talking about my feelings and emotions I struggle a lot when I feel down. I’m working hard on pushing myself to open up a bit more and admire you for filming during this time. ❤️
I deeply appreciate how real and raw you are.. I don't mean it in a negative way i am just bad with words. It is important to people to be real without the pretense of happy exterior. I am one of those who dwell too much on death and what would it be like or where do my loved ones go... I lost close family members to accidents and i can say i haven't been the same person ever since. Sorry for the long rant but thank you 🙏
I couldn't help but cry with you. I have these days quite often and it is so draining to deal with....thank you for posting this. I felt like you were speaking to my soul
I went to a dark place before watching this video. I have been depressed and suicidal all week. I wanted to die. But then I found this video. Thank you Julia. And the kitty helped too.
I’m so proud of you for making this video! Shining a light on what real life is like and we’re not always our happy selves we present, I suffer with extreme anxiety/depression and i think myself into bad places and I think that you’re videos and advice give me a huge relief and help! So let us help you as you help Is 💕
I wanted to thank you for being so real. This video particularly helped me a lot because of the progress you made throughout the day. You showed me that even when you feel sad or depressed it is possible to do stuff and maybe change that feeling. I've been having cero energy lately and sometimes my day starts at lunchtime, which makes it worse because then I'm not as productive as always. But this made me think "ok, tomorrow i should try this!" and I already set my alarm clock. You really motivated me. I'm sorry for my shitty English. I'm from Argentina and I this your content is great. ❤
I hear you!! Daylight comforts me, too. I can only sleep soundly during the day. My trauma happened at night so that is when my PTSD rears it’s ugly head. You are brave, not a fraud. And you are appreciated.
Ok your eyes are getting lighter and lighter as you cry. Your so beautiful and your soul is so kind! You love your loved ones so much thinking of life without them saddens you. I mean how bigger can your heart be? You deserve everything good and I hope you don't doubt it too much I know it's normal too but you do have ao much value and worth. Because you are so special to so many people ✨
I completely connected to what you said at 1:53. Unfortunately the virus that causes mono won't go dormant in my body so I've been living with little to no energy for the past 7 years and it sends me into a state of depression that almost no one understands. They can't understand how being "tired" would make someone depressed. I appreciate you being so honest with your viewers. I've truly enjoyed discovering your channel recently, and I feel you are so easy for me to relate to in so many ways. I'm sending lots of positivity your way. I hope you feel better and get back on the path you want to be on.
Thank you for sharing part of yourself that is very difficult to do. Know that speaking your truth about your depression is reaching an audience in need to relate to someone. I know that I watch your videos because you are real and honest in every aspect of your life. I hope that you continue to cope and find peace with the struggles you are dealing with❤️
Thank you for this. I’m going through the strongest season of depression I’ve ever gone through. As a full grown adult. It’s a fight, it takes a toll on my relationships. And i feel numb and like I don’t care about anything. My family, my job, my passions. It’s so hard. I get you. Thanks for showing us the real and not just wanting sympathy.
I love you Julia, you’re an inspiration for me, I’ve been suffering depression for many years, but it’s going better now. You’re a beautiful woman and please continue with your amazing videos. Greetings from Mexico. Right now I am in LA. Hugs & kisses for you.
Super relatable. I'm feeling the same way and I feel commiserated with. Im obsessed with death the same weird way, experiences from a young age, my mom committed suicide. It's somewhat shaped my life. But yeah, thanks for being my stand in friend. You're one of my top 3 asmrtists. I love your vibe and honesty 😊🤗❤
Thank you for sharing. I know how hard it can be to open up, especially in your position with such a big following, but it's so appreciated by me and others who have mental health issues. This video is beautiful and it makes me love you even more as a person. Thank you ❤❤❤
I lost my 9 year old brother when I was 7. I found out more about how it effected me/still does in my 30s. Eventhough Im quite social, I run away or freeze when death issues arises. For years I cry myself to sleep thinking about what I would do if I loose my family members. You are a lovely soul and not alone going through these dark times honey. Well done for sharing. Ps: I started doing reevaluation councelling and benefitted alot from it. Id be happy to connect and support you xx
Thank you for talking about mental health. It is so important for people to share their real lives and real emotional health. You are helping to end the stigma. I hope you are feeling better
Thank you for sharing ♥️ I struggle with imposters syndrome too. It has grown into a nasty monster while navigating grad school. Hearing your story is such a comfort.
This was so cathartic for me. My grandmother passed away yesterday, and you put into words everything I'm feeling right now, especially regarding mental health. Thank you xx
I absolutely agree about excercise and depression its just pushing myself to get up and go do something. But the benefits last for days. Thank you for showing this side of you i think many people including myself can relate and will find this beneficial. sending love ❤
Thank you so much for being you ❤ I have anxiety issues (panic attack) and i am under treatment for a year now. Hope i ll do without it someday. Love you ! From France
Girl, I understand. I was attacked at work by a guy with mental issues, he tried to kill me. It has totally shaken my life up. I'm okay one minute and crying the next. You said you have sad moments, I get it. I know I'm rambling I mean he's in custody, I'm safe but, I'm not myself. Thank you for sharing your life, I don't think you know how much it helps. 💜
I am so sorry this happened to you. My boyfriend has also had trauma of sorts in the past and has had a lot of luck with EMDR therapy. You are a strong person for hanging in there. ❤️
Wow I’ve never seen/heard anyone feel how I feel. I have this same fear or anxiety of losing people close to me. It also comes up at night and keeps me from sleeping. It’s almost never about my own death, and always about how I feel completely hopeless and unable to cope with the inevitable loss of loved ones. I think about it ALL the time and what makes it worse is that I also believe that your thoughts have the power to become reality so I’m constantly fighting with myself to stop thinking about it and end up dwelling on it more. It’s an awful cycle.
I know I say this to repetitively, but exercise helps. Even with the fear of death! For me at least. Hang in there girl you are not alone in your feelings. ❤️
You are so inspiring and extremely intelligent. Thankyou for sharing bits of your life with us ❤️ To me, you’re one of the few who make a difference and a real impact. I love hearing your opinions and advice. X
Totally relate to EVERYTHING. I used to get such anxiety as soon as the Sun would go down 🤷🏻♀️ Living in the midwest the Winters would just cripple me internally because the days would be so short. 💗 Youre not alone.
Julia, you have gone through a lot and what happens to you I see it as evolving because although you may be in the darkest of places your brain is telling you how to cope and that makes you a leader and what you are doing for others even if you don’t realize it is amazing. I don’t want to praise you to make me stand out, I’m way beyond that because I’m old enough not to care what people think period, I just want to be one of those people who make you feel good- forget the ones who criticize and have nothing good to say because they are probably jumping from page to page criticizing everyone and everything and they don’t deserve anyone’s consideration because they suck! You are a good person inside and out and you have a light that shines really bright, always remember that!
You’ve also taught me it’s good to cry. It’s good to think about your feelings, embrace them, think about them and let them out. Rather than bottling them up/ignoring them. This video was very raw and brave and comforting in a way to know myself and I’m sure others aren’t alone in having some darker more complicated thoughts. The brain is such a complex thing!!! Sending you love and light on your journey xxx
I’ve had this exact obsession my whole life, also snowballing from childhood trauma, and I heard a saying that really resonated with me. It helps me a lot when I start uncontrollably ruminating over losing the people I love and death: “You never know a plate is real until you break it.”. xo
It breaks my heart to know you weren't feeling the best, but you inspire me and I am so proud of you for getting out of bed and making the best out of your day. You seem so strong! I am hoping you are able to get out of this funk and continue being productive and focused, leading you into a more happier state of being. ♡ You are, unfortunately, so right about mental health topics being so competitive on the internet. I feel so uncomfortable posting things about anxiety, as I suffer with it severely... but I am terrified for the backlash or any negative energy coming from a simple post or comment about the way I'm feeling or what I'm going through. I will continue to hope for the day that more compassion grows within everyone so we can all be more kind and understanding to one another. Love you xoxo
Hearing you speak about your struggle with death and anxiety around death made me feel so much less alone because I have struggled in a very similar way for as long as I can remember constantly worrying about death and those close to me dying and it is always worst at night just as it is for you and has caused me to struggle with insomnia as a result. Thank you for being so vulnerable and not only showing the highlight reel of your life. Sending you lots of love and wishing you health and happiness
I feel for you Julia, thank you for always being genuine and allowing us to know your private struggles. We all support you💓 you deserve everything that is good
Thank you for posting this - I am a mother of 8 and some days horribly depressed, I love my kids and my life but for the last decade have not felt like a person but a babysitter, cook, housekeeper etc most times I’m stretched so thin I’ve lost who I even am as a person. Thank you for posting your honest feelings I can very much relate to you. Remember things definitely get better and things change overtime, that’s what keeps me going even on my worst days. PS - loved seeing your pics with Arielle on insta the other day, I grew up with her in Fallbrook CA and haven’t seen her for years - what a small world seeing my fav ASMRist with an old friend of mine ❤️
This is so great Julia. I love your content and fall asleep to your videos every night! I was feeling so alone lately... I’m going through a break up, trying to manage nursing school, and trying to support my self. I just found out a friend of mine died from preeclampsia during childbirth and Im also trying to process those emotions. I go through times like this in my life of such depression and then I start to dwell on everything. This video made me feel hopeful of my mental state & made me realize that no ones perfect. You’re not alone. Thanks so much for being a real one.
I'm coming back to these videos because I just finally went to the doctor and got on the medication I needed(after over 10 years of coping on my own...in my own terrible ways) I love your channel and you're so lovely and I love your content. Thank you for shedding light on real shit, being beautiful inside and out, for your ASMR videos, and for your dedication to your RUclips family!
Julia, we love you. Everything will be okay. I understand completely about your obsession with death. I think I'm the same way in a similar fashion. I've been obsessed with it in different ways throughout my life, lately I have been grappling with the thought of close family members passing away and it weighs me down often. I understand. ❤️
Aww, Julia, I was just going to sleep as you uploaded. I have had a very difficult week with major anxiety and depression, though I started picking up late this evening. I had to watch now, even though it's gone 2am here. For some reason I'd just been wondering how you are. Thank you for being such a true inspiration and so open with us. I loved how you pushed yourself to the gym. I burst out laughing when you did the first batch of pancakes, so refreshing to see such realness! I was thinking earlier in the week about when you swam with sharks and the incredible photos you shared. Also when you went out in Paris after a period of being low. I never said on that video, but I felt so strongly connected to you and could see how we would have a laugh. I always look for your community posts as they don't come up in my notifications. I'm not sure why? Anyway, I hope you have a good weekend. So much love ❤️and hugs for your cats.
I appreciate this video so much because I felt like I was watching myself through a lens. Ive has so many days like this as of recently. And it gives sense of comfort that I’m not alone on this. Thank you for being so real honest for us. Having you post videos like this helps so much more than you think. Thank you for being so brave and posting this.
I’m watching this at almost 5 am after a long night of overthinking everything including losing people who are close to me. It’s gotten worse in the age of Covid, where that fear is so realistic, especially as it relates to people who have a lot of risk factors like my parents. Finding your channel (and discovering ASMR in general) has been such an amazing help to me during this unprecedented time in history. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable - I think we all feel like imposters at times, no matter what our stage in life. Blessings to you. 🙏🏼♥️
Im glad you made this video and got out your feelings because i think it is what sets you on the road to feeling better.I had the kind of day your discribing today to and found myself sobbing in the shower and the whole day feeling like doom and gloom.I was lucky today to have one person listen to what i had to say until i was done and it was all out,he did not interupt me he just listened and also reminded me of good things and things i wanted to do in the future and somehow talking about positive plans for the future helped me get out of my funk.I Hope for you that you take time to care for yourself and know everything you described is so normal and i would never judge you for any part of it.Sending hugs and positive energy your way my dear😊👍Take care
Hi Trisha ❤️ thank you for sharing and I'm glad you are starting to feel better. Good listeners are my favorite kind of people, glad you have some in your life. ❤️❤️
Seeing someone talk about their mental health in the midst of them having difficulty makes me (oddly) feel better. It’s been a rough two days (thanks anxiety), and I’ve been feeling down and haven’t been able to turn off the negative talk in my head. I really appreciate you being so open, and it helps me stay honest with myself.
Julia, I’m sorry for your loss. Please remember that it’s okay to grieve, no matter your relationship to the deceased. Loss is loss, and it’s okay to feel that.
You are crazy beautiful without makeup. Stunning!!! I really hope you feel better. So sorry you are having a rough patch. You are human, grief and grieving are real. Focus on the light. Name 5 things that make you happy try and feel them. Try it now... Focus on the light. My mind falls into the trap of darkness too and lately I have been realizing how much time I have spent dwelling are darkness when there is so much light around. So sorry for the trauma around death. Young loss will definitely imprint on a young mind. Take care and enjoy the boundless freedom of exploring these emotions. So talented, smart, wise, and intuitive. See your light. Much love...
I've never loved you as much as I love you right now Julia! Thank you so much for finding the strength to share your fears and vulnerabilities with us. I can't help but wonder if some of your fears around death are due in part because you're one of the rare people (unlike so many of us) who aren't afraid to live life to its fullest? So proud to be a _blitzzzer!_ 🤗🤗
This hit home and resonates with me so much!! I have a severe fear of death. People I love dying, realising that I am going to die one day. I have bad panic attacks. Especially now I have children. I worry about dying and leaving them. I just wanted to say thank you for this video as it is nice to see I am not alone. Xx
You’re my favourite person on the internet. I definitely appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable and real. It isn’t an easy thing to do, but it is something that is so needed in a time when everyone on the internet is busy showcasing themselves in the best light. Your approach to content creation is refreshing and inspiring. Keep doing you ❤️
Oh also, imposter syndrome is so real (I’ve been feeling it lately too). But if it’s any recollection, you’re the only creator on RUclips I get truly excited about and watch every video from. You deserve everything you have/any recognition you receive! Don’t let your self doubt tell you otherwise.
((Julia)) Big hugs to you. Thank you for being so open and honest. I really feel like the more people are real and talk about this stuff, the more we will realize how amazingly similar yet wonderfully different we all are.
Julia, I was going through a rough patch last week. I go through these phases of depression as well and it’s hard to explain to others. I absolutely love your videos and love going back watching old videos. Thank you for this one. I’m doing better this week, but still trying to figure it out and finding the motivation to continue going to the gym. I was going consistently until last week. But I think I just need to get back in the right head space. Thank you for being open and genuine. 💕
This is so crazy, I feel the exact same way you do about death in regards to yourself and losing people close to you, I feel ok if I were to die because having to go through anyone close to me dying would just break me as a person and I fear I would never recover regardless what people say "time heal all wounds" that maybe the case but I'm not sure I could wait
I feel like this whole community and video is what I needed right now. I have been feeling so 3 days on 2 days off. It's been such a seesaw as a gentlemen commented below. But, to know that others are feeling this exact way, makes me feel more motivated that I can also work through the stuggling days. Keep on with the REAL content.
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This was a hard video for me to film - not because I am embarrassed to talk about mental health or feel influenced by stigma, but because some days feel shitty and I hate crying on camera but hi! Depression (and other disorders) affect ALL of us in different ways and no one's experience will be identical. Mental health is not a competition. Let's all find a way to relate to each other & offer support without being competitive or discouraging. If you are feeling depressed, anxious, suicidal....there IS hope and there ARE ways for you cope. The first step is taking control of your health and working to find solutions (they exist). ❤️
itsblitzzz hugs Julia, just hugs 💗
itsblitzzz your channel is one of my favorite channels ever because it’s just... you. It’s your food, your fears, your hobbies, your home, your habits, your growth, your interests, your passions, and your wellbeing. Thank you for sharing you with us here. It’s so incredibly heartwarming to see someone in their entirety.
Also, by the way, zinc is incredibly helpful to get over the cold. One of the few supplements that has been proven to help.
It was brave confronting mental health. I as well suffer from depression and borderline bipolar. It affects me and the people around me. It's learning to harvest these moods so that it doesn't over whelm you. Best wishes for you, smile. Andrew from CT
itsblitzzz we are here for you ❤️
Julia, this is wonderful. I think a big problem for many of us is the people we look up to on social media always seem so perfect. And so we strive to be so perfect, forgetting that we are human. So you posting this is not only brave but it is so helpful. Ugh I wish I could just speak to you in person because you touch on all the right things. Especially regarding death and darkness. It almost feels like you are speaking from my mind. Two years ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and it has been quite a ride. I also feel guilty quite often because I have a WONDERFUL family and still struggle. In September I’ll be walking for suicide prevention. And I’m so excited to be surrounded by people who have been through what I’ve been through. The support is surreal. I definitely encourage you to check it out. It’s actually not too far from Baltimore! AFSP.donordrive.com/participant/1960113
P.S. I love you.
Please don’t feel ungrateful. Do not ever compare your experience to anyone else’s.
What you feel is real, and valid, and true. Period. Sending you love and light. ❤️
❤️
Also, so true about comparing mental health. ‘Just because someone is standing next to you in a body cast doesn’t mean that your broken arm doesn’t hurt.’
The Song of Life did you get that from Tati Westbrook 🤭
Yasmin H No, I didn’t from Tati, I got it from life. 🙂
Somebody somewhere needed this! Sometimes hearing someone else is dealing with the same things you are is therapeutic...like you aren't alone in the"struggle"! Everybody wants to be so strong all the time and feel showing emotions/vulnerability is a sign of weakness...its not! The world says "suck it up, walk it off" but I can only imagine its easier said than done! In a way its therapeutic also for you! Sometimes just talking it out helps! Those of us with empathy and compassion, we are here for it all...ASMR...Your trips around the world...the Pole...and even those not so good days!!💕
yess
Julia, hang in there. I suffer with major anxiety and, at times, depression. It hit me young; I work in EMS and after dealing with patient's lives (young and old), I have nightmares that haunt me and, literally, have f*cked me in the head. You are beautiful and meant to walk this earth for a long time. Stay strong, lovely ❤
P.S. Your videos help me with my mental struggles 🖤
That’s gotta be a tough job
Thanks for being honest and showing others that mental health is real.
The fact that you can be so openly raw and vulnerable speaks volumes about your strong character.
I have depression and anxiety por almost 20 years, the struggle is so hard...your asmr videos really help me, hugs from México
Suerte y animo con el problema, seguro que irá a mejor, saludos desde España amiga mejicana.
Saber que hay mas gente que pasa por lo mismo de un apoyo, gracias por compartir
God love ya, girl! YOU are an anti-depressant for me and so many others!! Thanks for being real! We appreciate it!
@ma lama You might want to tell him that when you meet him!
There is no proper or inproper way to grieve . We all do it differently Julia . We all have our good and bad days . Give yourself a break and it's okay to feel all those things . Sometimes we need to feel those things to help us process . One day at a time
I've tried many many therapists before finding the right one. Some helped me a little and some made the situation worse at the time, but I didn't give up.
I'm sure you'll find someone to connect with.
Also, you seem like a very caring, kind and genuine person. You deserve all the love you're getting and much more! ❤️
you are a beautiful person inside and out. sometimes the hard part of feeling sad is when you don't really know why you're sad. your asmr is so comforting for me and I'm grateful that you connect with people in that way. youre doing a good job.
oh we love you, darling. thank you for always being so open about your life with us. 💕
you did an amazing job at finally putting words to this inexplicable feeling i feel, as well. i just feel so melancholy... everything hits me at once and i do a complete 180 from a good place to a bad place in my mind. it's so crippling sometimes, and im working hard to manage it. thank you for being vulnerable and showing me that im not alone. take care of yourself, we love you ❤️❤️❤️
Olessia Dunaeva ❤️
I was exposed to death at a really young age as well. My little brother died when I was 14. I have struggled for years with anxiety because of it and have an extreme fear of death too. It can be crippling some days. I’m always worried about losing the people I love and it’s always in the back of my head.
Hang in there. You’re not alone in this struggle 💕
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I honestly can't imagine but can certainly relate to the feeling you describe. Thank you for sharing. Much love to you. ❤️
itsblitzzz Thank you ❤️
This week has been hard for me as well. I suffered from depression for 8 years and had it under control. I found out I was 23 weeks pregnant in November and my baby’s father is very unsupportive. However, my baby was a joyous thing. I was super excited to be a mom, but postpartum depression is no joke. Thank you for talking about your feelings and not making mental illness seen as a taboo thing.
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I have PTSD and severe depression. Your videos have helped me relax. I trust you to be gentle with me when I'm in the vulnerable state of letting go to fall asleep. You are graceful, tender and intuitive. We care for you because you understand.
Sometimes to interrupt the cycle of thoughts you need to get away from everything with complete physical relaxation. Sleep whether induced or natural is ok. A diazepam for one of scenarios is very helpful to me.
I am in therapy about fear of death, etc. My worries about death stemmed from my fear of punishment by God for my earlier life. I have had a breakthrough. I wish you the same. You are very helpful to me. Thank you.
I was having a really shitty evening and just feeling very negative...this video made me cry...I'm crying as I'm typing this...but it's cathartic for me. Thank you ❤
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Thank you for your vulnerability and openness and willingness to share, though I know that can be extremely difficult, as you said. ❤️
I’m sorry for your loss, there’s no telling how we react to those kinds of things. The type of stuff you’re speaking on re:death seems similar to some existential dread stuff I am still working through, and it especially happens at night when I haven’t had enough sleep. I hope you don’t feel guilty, regardless of who you still have in your life, what you’re feeling is real and you don’t have to shrink that because you’re “supposed” to be grateful.
Anyway, thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. You deserve joy, your success, and to feel free to sort through whatever emotions you’re going through no matter what. 💕
I don't think I've ever been this early.
I haven't watched the video yet but I just wanted to say that I support and respect you, Julia.
And it is really good to see real content on RUclips, especially related to mental health because so many people treat it like a taboo.
You do you, you'll continue to get my support.
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Thank you for being vulnerable with us. We all support you.
I cannot tell you how much I relate to the way you feel about death
also imposter syndrome is something that plagues me as well
I feel this so deeply. I stay up at night sometimes fearing death, not for myself but for those I love. Sometimes I dwell on it more than other times but it usually hits me at night. I think I've also experienced some sort of panic attack but I never know how to explain it to people and it just makes me frustrated so I just don't talk about it.
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We can be both our own best friend and worst enemy. But never apologize for your feelings. My son has suffered from bad anxiety/depression but since seeking help on how to deal with it he's gotten so much better. It's something that he'll probably always have, can get triggered at any moment, but he has learned on how to handle it plus he has our support.
You're on the right track. There will be bad days but they aren't forever and understanding it's a process can make it seem less scary. Your story is inspiring. Keep it up! 🤗
I was hoping this video was coming! So many comments on your last IG post about mental health and people taking you all wrong. Your strength is impressive, Julia. Love you you. 💚
Exactly, I was troubled by the misunderstanding I too. I felt the same. I am really glad she is talking about it. We all need to support each other no matter the path we take to deal with life.
Thank you, Julia!! Thanks for sharing! I've been taking meds for several months cause I had the worst anxiety in my life. Or I'd rather say - the only anxiety...I've never had this happen before. I was so weird, so lost, so absent-minded, I even got into a little car accident cause of that, I was not here, but somewhere else...Now I feel waaaay better, I accepted everything what happened to me. And every time I feel like I need to refresh my mind - I take my dog and we go for a walk. As you said - around the block, or around the house. It really helps :) Take care!!! You're amazing!
I work in a mental health facility and i see all kinds of levels of mental health. Some do well with just talking, exercise and meditation, some with meds and some with both. Me, i do best with both having a pretty wicked anxiety disorder that i too have had since childhood. The best advice i ever received is that we only have today. The past is gone and the future doesn’t exist. Only the present moment, and thats all that we have control over. Thank you for sharing your journey and getting the word out that its ok to feel the way you feel ❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing this video with us. Being someone who hates talking about my feelings and emotions I struggle a lot when I feel down. I’m working hard on pushing myself to open up a bit more and admire you for filming during this time. ❤️
Sometimes getting out of bed is the greatest accomplishment. So good for you!
I deeply appreciate how real and raw you are.. I don't mean it in a negative way i am just bad with words. It is important to people to be real without the pretense of happy exterior. I am one of those who dwell too much on death and what would it be like or where do my loved ones go... I lost close family members to accidents and i can say i haven't been the same person ever since. Sorry for the long rant but thank you 🙏
I couldn't help but cry with you. I have these days quite often and it is so draining to deal with....thank you for posting this. I felt like you were speaking to my soul
it breaks my heart seeing you cry! WE LOVE YOU AND WE ARE HERE FOR YOU ❤️
I went to a dark place before watching this video. I have been depressed and suicidal all week. I wanted to die. But then I found this video. Thank you Julia. And the kitty helped too.
I’m so proud of you for making this video! Shining a light on what real life is like and we’re not always our happy selves we present, I suffer with extreme anxiety/depression and i think myself into bad places and I think that you’re videos and advice give me a huge relief and help! So let us help you as you help
Is 💕
I wanted to thank you for being so real. This video particularly helped me a lot because of the progress you made throughout the day. You showed me that even when you feel sad or depressed it is possible to do stuff and maybe change that feeling. I've been having cero energy lately and sometimes my day starts at lunchtime, which makes it worse because then I'm not as productive as always. But this made me think "ok, tomorrow i should try this!" and I already set my alarm clock. You really motivated me. I'm sorry for my shitty English. I'm from Argentina and I this your content is great. ❤
I hear you!! Daylight comforts me, too. I can only sleep soundly during the day. My trauma happened at night so that is when my PTSD rears it’s ugly head. You are brave, not a fraud. And you are appreciated.
Thank you for trusting us enough to share this. We love and care about you so much.
Ok your eyes are getting lighter and lighter as you cry. Your so beautiful and your soul is so kind! You love your loved ones so much thinking of life without them saddens you. I mean how bigger can your heart be? You deserve everything good and I hope you don't doubt it too much I know it's normal too but you do have ao much value and worth. Because you are so special to so many people ✨
I suffer from anxiety and depression and this video is definitely inspirational. Thank you for sharing!
It's crushing to see you feeling down 😟. Just remember that you mean a lot to us and help us with our mental health!!
It's comforting to know that someone else struggles with such anxiety over dying. I understand you. ❤️
Erika Soules same here. We need a lethal anxiety club badge.
I love how raw and open you are with your audience. Your channel is so REAL... it’s so refreshing.
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I completely connected to what you said at 1:53. Unfortunately the virus that causes mono won't go dormant in my body so I've been living with little to no energy for the past 7 years and it sends me into a state of depression that almost no one understands. They can't understand how being "tired" would make someone depressed. I appreciate you being so honest with your viewers. I've truly enjoyed discovering your channel recently, and I feel you are so easy for me to relate to in so many ways. I'm sending lots of positivity your way. I hope you feel better and get back on the path you want to be on.
Thank you for sharing part of yourself that is very difficult to do. Know that speaking your truth about your depression is reaching an audience in need to relate to someone. I know that I watch your videos because you are real and honest in every aspect of your life. I hope that you continue to cope and find peace with the struggles you are dealing with❤️
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Thank you for this. I’m going through the strongest season of depression I’ve ever gone through. As a full grown adult. It’s a fight, it takes a toll on my relationships. And i feel numb and like I don’t care about anything. My family, my job, my passions. It’s so hard. I get you. Thanks for showing us the real and not just wanting sympathy.
I love you Julia, you’re an inspiration for me, I’ve been suffering depression for many years, but it’s going better now. You’re a beautiful woman and please continue with your amazing videos. Greetings from Mexico. Right now I am in LA. Hugs & kisses for you.
Super relatable. I'm feeling the same way and I feel commiserated with. Im obsessed with death the same weird way, experiences from a young age, my mom committed suicide. It's somewhat shaped my life. But yeah, thanks for being my stand in friend. You're one of my top 3 asmrtists. I love your vibe and honesty 😊🤗❤
So sorry to hear about your mom. Thank you for your words ❤️
Thank you for sharing. I know how hard it can be to open up, especially in your position with such a big following, but it's so appreciated by me and others who have mental health issues. This video is beautiful and it makes me love you even more as a person. Thank you ❤❤❤
I lost my 9 year old brother when I was 7. I found out more about how it effected me/still does in my 30s. Eventhough Im quite social, I run away or freeze when death issues arises. For years I cry myself to sleep thinking about what I would do if I loose my family members. You are a lovely soul and not alone going through these dark times honey. Well done for sharing.
Ps: I started doing reevaluation councelling and benefitted alot from it. Id be happy to connect and support you xx
Thank you for this. Seriously. This made me feel so much better. I'm going through depression right now and it's so hard.
Therapy works! It sounds like grief and loss issues - find a great counselor.
Thank you for talking about mental health. It is so important for people to share their real lives and real emotional health. You are helping to end the stigma. I hope you are feeling better
Thank you for sharing ♥️ I struggle with imposters syndrome too. It has grown into a nasty monster while navigating grad school. Hearing your story is such a comfort.
This was so cathartic for me. My grandmother passed away yesterday, and you put into words everything I'm feeling right now, especially regarding mental health. Thank you xx
I absolutely agree about excercise and depression its just pushing myself to get up and go do something. But the benefits last for days. Thank you for showing this side of you i think many people including myself can relate and will find this beneficial. sending love ❤
This human experience is so interesting / difficult / beautiful. 🖤 Thank you for your perspective. I can’t even believe how much I relate.
Thank you so much for being you ❤
I have anxiety issues (panic attack) and i am under treatment for a year now. Hope i ll do without it someday.
Love you !
From France
Girl, I understand. I was attacked at work by a guy with mental issues, he tried to kill me. It has totally shaken my life up. I'm okay one minute and crying the next. You said you have sad moments, I get it. I know I'm rambling I mean he's in custody, I'm safe but, I'm not myself. Thank you for sharing your life, I don't think you know how much it helps. 💜
I am so sorry this happened to you. My boyfriend has also had trauma of sorts in the past and has had a lot of luck with EMDR therapy. You are a strong person for hanging in there. ❤️
thank you 💜
Wow I’ve never seen/heard anyone feel how I feel. I have this same fear or anxiety of losing people close to me. It also comes up at night and keeps me from sleeping. It’s almost never about my own death, and always about how I feel completely hopeless and unable to cope with the inevitable loss of loved ones. I think about it ALL the time and what makes it worse is that I also believe that your thoughts have the power to become reality so I’m constantly fighting with myself to stop thinking about it and end up dwelling on it more. It’s an awful cycle.
I know I say this to repetitively, but exercise helps. Even with the fear of death! For me at least. Hang in there girl you are not alone in your feelings. ❤️
I relate to this in so so so many ways. Julia, you are such a light. Thank you for always being a genuine, candid person.
You are so inspiring and extremely intelligent. Thankyou for sharing bits of your life with us ❤️ To me, you’re one of the few who make a difference and a real impact. I love hearing your opinions and advice. X
Totally relate to EVERYTHING. I used to get such anxiety as soon as the Sun would go down 🤷🏻♀️ Living in the midwest the Winters would just cripple me internally because the days would be so short.
💗 Youre not alone.
Julia, you have gone through a lot and what happens to you I see it as evolving because although you may be in the darkest of places your brain is telling you how to cope and that makes you a leader and what you are doing for others even if you don’t realize it is amazing. I don’t want to praise you to make me stand out, I’m way beyond that because I’m old enough not to care what people think period, I just want to be one of those people who make you feel good- forget the ones who criticize and have nothing good to say because they are probably jumping from page to page criticizing everyone and everything and they don’t deserve anyone’s consideration because they suck! You are a good person inside and out and you have a light that shines really bright, always remember that!
In this community we love you Julia for everything you have shared and for the authenticity that you are. You are very important ❤
You’ve also taught me it’s good to cry. It’s good to think about your feelings, embrace them, think about them and let them out. Rather than bottling them up/ignoring them. This video was very raw and brave and comforting in a way to know myself and I’m sure others aren’t alone in having some darker more complicated thoughts. The brain is such a complex thing!!! Sending you love and light on your journey xxx
I’ve had this exact obsession my whole life, also snowballing from childhood trauma, and I heard a saying that really resonated with me. It helps me a lot when I start uncontrollably ruminating over losing the people I love and death: “You never know a plate is real until you break it.”. xo
It breaks my heart to know you weren't feeling the best, but you inspire me and I am so proud of you for getting out of bed and making the best out of your day. You seem so strong! I am hoping you are able to get out of this funk and continue being productive and focused, leading you into a more happier state of being. ♡
You are, unfortunately, so right about mental health topics being so competitive on the internet. I feel so uncomfortable posting things about anxiety, as I suffer with it severely... but I am terrified for the backlash or any negative energy coming from a simple post or comment about the way I'm feeling or what I'm going through. I will continue to hope for the day that more compassion grows within everyone so we can all be more kind and understanding to one another.
Love you xoxo
Thank you for being honest and open. You are amazing!
Hearing you speak about your struggle with death and anxiety around death made me feel so much less alone because I have struggled in a very similar way for as long as I can remember constantly worrying about death and those close to me dying and it is always worst at night just as it is for you and has caused me to struggle with insomnia as a result. Thank you for being so vulnerable and not only showing the highlight reel of your life. Sending you lots of love and wishing you health and happiness
This is exactly how I feel 💔 sending my love to you.... I know it’s extremely hard. Remember you are strong women. We all are!!! ❣️❣️❣️❣️
Thank you for being honest and for sharing your thought. We all have good and bad days. We’re here to support you
I feel for you Julia, thank you for always being genuine and allowing us to know your private struggles. We all support you💓 you deserve everything that is good
Thank you for your vulnerability Julia. I also have anxiety and have had depressive episodes as well. Nice to know we are not alone. Hugs.
Thank you for posting this - I am a mother of 8 and some days horribly depressed, I love my kids and my life but for the last decade have not felt like a person but a babysitter, cook, housekeeper etc most times I’m stretched so thin I’ve lost who I even am as a person. Thank you for posting your honest feelings I can very much relate to you. Remember things definitely get better and things change overtime, that’s what keeps me going even on my worst days.
PS - loved seeing your pics with Arielle on insta the other day, I grew up with her in Fallbrook CA and haven’t seen her for years - what a small world seeing my fav ASMRist with an old friend of mine ❤️
Such a small world always! Thank you for your kind words, Christine ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
This is so great Julia. I love your content and fall asleep to your videos every night! I was feeling so alone lately... I’m going through a break up, trying to manage nursing school, and trying to support my self. I just found out a friend of mine died from preeclampsia during childbirth and Im also trying to process those emotions. I go through times like this in my life of such depression and then I start to dwell on everything. This video made me feel hopeful of my mental state & made me realize that no ones perfect. You’re not alone. Thanks so much for being a real one.
I'm coming back to these videos because I just finally went to the doctor and got on the medication I needed(after over 10 years of coping on my own...in my own terrible ways) I love your channel and you're so lovely and I love your content. Thank you for shedding light on real shit, being beautiful inside and out, for your ASMR videos, and for your dedication to your RUclips family!
Julia, we love you. Everything will be okay. I understand completely about your obsession with death. I think I'm the same way in a similar fashion. I've been obsessed with it in different ways throughout my life, lately I have been grappling with the thought of close family members passing away and it weighs me down often. I understand. ❤️
Aww, Julia, I was just going to sleep as you uploaded. I have had a very difficult week with major anxiety and depression, though I started picking up late this evening.
I had to watch now, even though it's gone 2am here. For some reason I'd just been wondering how you are.
Thank you for being such a true inspiration and so open with us. I loved how you pushed yourself to the gym. I burst out laughing when you did the first batch of pancakes, so refreshing to see such realness!
I was thinking earlier in the week about when you swam with sharks and the incredible photos you shared. Also when you went out in Paris after a period of being low. I never said on that video, but I felt so strongly connected to you and could see how we would have a laugh.
I always look for your community posts as they don't come up in my notifications. I'm not sure why?
Anyway, I hope you have a good weekend. So much love ❤️and hugs for your cats.
Thank you so much. I know you are someone who comments and connects to my content frequently, I really appreciate it. ❤️
I appreciate this video so much because I felt like I was watching myself through a lens. Ive has so many days like this as of recently. And it gives sense of comfort that I’m not alone on this. Thank you for being so real honest for us. Having you post videos like this helps so much more than you think. Thank you for being so brave and posting this.
I’m watching this at almost 5 am after a long night of overthinking everything including losing people who are close to me. It’s gotten worse in the age of Covid, where that fear is so realistic, especially as it relates to people who have a lot of risk factors like my parents. Finding your channel (and discovering ASMR in general) has been such an amazing help to me during this unprecedented time in history. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable - I think we all feel like imposters at times, no matter what our stage in life. Blessings to you. 🙏🏼♥️
Im glad you made this video and got out your feelings because i think it is what sets you on the road to feeling better.I had the kind of day your discribing today to and found myself sobbing in the shower and the whole day feeling like doom and gloom.I was lucky today to have one person listen to what i had to say until i was done and it was all out,he did not interupt me he just listened and also reminded me of good things and things i wanted to do in the future and somehow talking about positive plans for the future helped me get out of my funk.I Hope for you that you take time to care for yourself and know everything you described is so normal and i would never judge you for any part of it.Sending hugs and positive energy your way my dear😊👍Take care
Hi Trisha ❤️ thank you for sharing and I'm glad you are starting to feel better. Good listeners are my favorite kind of people, glad you have some in your life. ❤️❤️
Super important video. Thanks for sharing ❤️
Seeing someone talk about their mental health in the midst of them having difficulty makes me (oddly) feel better. It’s been a rough two days (thanks anxiety), and I’ve been feeling down and haven’t been able to turn off the negative talk in my head. I really appreciate you being so open, and it helps me stay honest with myself.
Julia, I’m sorry for your loss. Please remember that it’s okay to grieve, no matter your relationship to the deceased. Loss is loss, and it’s okay to feel that.
I have extremely bad anxeity an an panic attacks and other health issues . Stay strong
You are crazy beautiful without makeup. Stunning!!! I really hope you feel better. So sorry you are having a rough patch. You are human, grief and grieving are real. Focus on the light. Name 5 things that make you happy try and feel them. Try it now... Focus on the light. My mind falls into the trap of darkness too and lately I have been realizing how much time I have spent dwelling are darkness when there is so much light around. So sorry for the trauma around death. Young loss will definitely imprint on a young mind. Take care and enjoy the boundless freedom of exploring these emotions. So talented, smart, wise, and intuitive. See your light. Much love...
Omg I relate to everything you’re explaining... I wish you to get better and that anxiety let you breath !
Kisses from France
I've never loved you as much as I love you right now Julia! Thank you so much for finding the strength to share your fears and vulnerabilities with us. I can't help but wonder if some of your fears around death are due in part because you're one of the rare people (unlike so many of us) who aren't afraid to live life to its fullest? So proud to be a _blitzzzer!_ 🤗🤗
This hit home and resonates with me so much!! I have a severe fear of death. People I love dying, realising that I am going to die one day. I have bad panic attacks. Especially now I have children. I worry about dying and leaving them. I just wanted to say thank you for this video as it is nice to see I am not alone. Xx
You’re my favourite person on the internet. I definitely appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable and real. It isn’t an easy thing to do, but it is something that is so needed in a time when everyone on the internet is busy showcasing themselves in the best light. Your approach to content creation is refreshing and inspiring. Keep doing you ❤️
Oh also, imposter syndrome is so real (I’ve been feeling it lately too). But if it’s any recollection, you’re the only creator on RUclips I get truly excited about and watch every video from. You deserve everything you have/any recognition you receive! Don’t let your self doubt tell you otherwise.
((Julia)) Big hugs to you. Thank you for being so open and honest. I really feel like the more people are real and talk about this stuff, the more we will realize how amazingly similar yet wonderfully different we all are.
Julia,
I was going through a rough patch last week. I go through these phases of depression as well and it’s hard to explain to others. I absolutely love your videos and love going back watching old videos. Thank you for this one.
I’m doing better this week, but still trying to figure it out and finding the motivation to continue going to the gym. I was going consistently until last week. But I think I just need to get back in the right head space.
Thank you for being open and genuine. 💕
I have the same experience with grief. I am truly grateful you posted this. Focus on taking extra care of yourself for a few days. It always subsides
In this moment I just wanna hug you and tell how wonderful you are! Thank you for share to us your emotions, I really appreciate, thank you so much!❤
I really look up to you, it’s hard to imagine that you sometimes feel exactly the same as I do sometimes. ❤️
I admire how real you are!
You’re very loved and supported and you deserve it so much
This is so crazy, I feel the exact same way you do about death in regards to yourself and losing people close to you, I feel ok if I were to die because having to go through anyone close to me dying would just break me as a person and I fear I would never recover regardless what people say "time heal all wounds" that maybe the case but I'm not sure I could wait
I feel like this whole community and video is what I needed right now. I have been feeling so 3 days on 2 days off. It's been such a seesaw as a gentlemen commented below. But, to know that others are feeling this exact way, makes me feel more motivated that I can also work through the stuggling days. Keep on with the REAL content.
Music is amazing therapy Julia! It’s been known for a long time as a natural anti-depressant- without any of the side effects! 😸
So true!