Fentanyl Addict interview - Billy

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  • Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024

Комментарии • 621

  • @lesterdewee5236
    @lesterdewee5236 3 года назад +429

    Mark, what you’re doing is monumental to say the least. Bringing awareness to childhood trauma and letting these amazing individuals speak their peace is what the world needs. You’re helping so many people through your content whether it’s addicts facing similar situations or layman who get a chance to learn about the stories behind addiction. I am certain you have shifted the narrative for a lot of people from judgement to compassion and for that I can’t thank you enough.

    • @lesterdewee5236
      @lesterdewee5236 3 года назад +16

      @@Kells6895 this is just an appreciation post for Mark. I agree that there should be action but that’s for individuals to figure out on their own terms. Awareness starts the conversation which is what this channel promotes. Hope you have a great day.

    • @lesterdewee5236
      @lesterdewee5236 3 года назад +10

      @@fresatx I respect and appreciate your perspective. Have a great weekend man

    • @lesterdewee5236
      @lesterdewee5236 3 года назад +16

      @@fresatx I hear you man. If you have more information regarding the topic please share or maybe you can start your own channel to bring understanding to the concerns you mentioned. Everyone is allowed to think and feel however they like. I think Mark is amazing person and I respect if you think he isn’t. Let’s agree to disagree.

    • @adriannedubins8793
      @adriannedubins8793 3 года назад +4

      I cannot like this comment enough!! Agree. 😀

    • @carolynrupard2699
      @carolynrupard2699 3 года назад +7

      Lester, I agree. Most of my life I judged. I could never grip how they just couldn't quit, get a job or take care of their children. My degree and career has changed that. Mark has brought a deeper level of compassion, understanding and love to my life through SWU that I would never have learned in the classroom. Thank you Mark. Every day I am grateful because you; through your work, I am even more interested in human behavior and childhood trauma. I really believe your upbringing makes and drives us. want to do more for humankind. We only get out of this together. I really respect you Mark. I am always praying for you, your channel and all the ones you come in contact with. Your reward is more precious than gold.

  • @suezannemarie292
    @suezannemarie292 3 года назад +272

    He's been waiting his whole life to tell his story. Thank you Mark for listening 🙏 🙌 😊 💗

  • @mandymigut8200
    @mandymigut8200 3 года назад +210

    Don't give up billy u are worth it ..give ur self a chance u deserve it...

  • @samanthacostido7823
    @samanthacostido7823 3 года назад +109

    I hope they make a class in middle school or high school that shows your collection. To help showcase the possible future they could encounter if they choose drugs. Or save someone from sexual abuse.

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +7

      The interviews could also help kids realize they're not as alone or odd as they think. Could help them open up.

    • @samanthacostido7823
      @samanthacostido7823 3 года назад +1

      @@marylougeorge9890 totally agree!

    • @jasminemania2984
      @jasminemania2984 2 года назад +1

      Very good idea shawty

    • @coweenuh453
      @coweenuh453 2 года назад +1

      Totally agree!!! It would give youth the opportunity to open up about sexual abuse. Def think this is more high school content typically but still! VERY important

    • @barneyronnie
      @barneyronnie 2 года назад

      Sometimes the drug chooses the person ...

  • @Jewels_8404
    @Jewels_8404 3 года назад +155

    I love that this man is honest with himself, he doesn’t seem to be in denial.
    My heart really goes out to him and I hope he can find recovery that sticks.

    • @bthalsey5943
      @bthalsey5943 2 года назад +2

      He is a great human….. he just doesn’t know it….though he should….

    • @fullthrottlemetric
      @fullthrottlemetric 2 года назад

      Are you kidding ? I could pick out a hundred half truths .. do you really think a educated professional cheerleader is gunna have a baby with a tattooed up homeless druggie? Nmmmhmmm

    • @dallasoch
      @dallasoch Год назад

      ​@@fullthrottlemetric I'm thinking that was way before the tattoos.... since like he was pretty young when he had his daughter. You'd be surprised

    • @WilliamHorton-zp7nt
      @WilliamHorton-zp7nt Год назад +1

      Actually it's true. I wasn't always in this situation. When I'm clean I'm something special. Best believe it.

  • @sharonvelasquez4456
    @sharonvelasquez4456 3 года назад +98

    Wow, I am so humbled by this man's honesty. He was born with so many strikes against him, it's really heartbreaking. After everything he's been through he still says "my mom was a good person". The power of love is UNDENIABLE. May God give you the strength that only He has. You are so deserving of true happiness. Don't give up Billy🙏🙏🏾🙏🏿🙏🏻🙏🏽🙏🏼

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      He sees the good in everyone. Reminds me of Johnny Depp and his relationship with his mom

  • @bashmeesh
    @bashmeesh 3 года назад +83

    "The only thing that matters is relationships, and love. And time, we don't have enough." Beautiful.

    • @criticalmass6249
      @criticalmass6249 2 года назад

      It is beautiful. I love a girl named Amanda and I wish she knew this.

    • @criticalmass6249
      @criticalmass6249 2 года назад

      I’m hurting 💔

    • @equalopportunitydestroyer
      @equalopportunitydestroyer 2 года назад

      money comes and goes....relationships the same...time however...that cannot be replaced...don't waste time...keep it pushing on some righteous shit

  • @karenhenry2430
    @karenhenry2430 3 года назад +50

    I like him, he has a good heart, he's pretty intelligent, articulate too. Lovely, the way he talks about his girlfriend too, and his mother

  • @TrishaB80
    @TrishaB80 3 года назад +41

    You and I are the same age and I'm just now 2yrs clean! You still have time to do something different! Thank you for telling your story!

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +5

      Congratulations on your sobriety. 😎😊👏💖

    • @destytayzo77
      @destytayzo77 2 года назад +1

      Definitely especially as a artist. Dude just needs real friends around him people who want to grow.

  • @flarethecharizard648
    @flarethecharizard648 3 года назад +49

    Billy I have a similar experience about seeing the moon & your mother’s passing; I’ve never heard another person mention it. I feel such a connection to you. I’m rooting for you; please don’t give up. We care about you. Thanks again as always for what you do, Mark.

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      The guy has so much love

  • @homebrewbuzz4481
    @homebrewbuzz4481 3 года назад +75

    Under a different set of circumstances, this man would be highly successful

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +7

      Absolutely. His success wouldn't have been a few years of his life. He would have been able to sustain it. Hopefully, that time will come again.

  • @leanneadams2549
    @leanneadams2549 3 года назад +34

    Poor guy. You can hear the emptiness!!! I wish I could do anything for him! Seems like he’s so so much more than this

  • @icecrystal3255
    @icecrystal3255 3 года назад +104

    The part where, at 16, he thought of his mom while looking at the moon and then got a call about her being gone hurts. I think that is key to his life of pain. So sad😥 Hugs to him. Glad he has love in this cruel world.

    • @parisa5014
      @parisa5014 3 года назад +11

      Intuition is wild, isn't it? The fact that anyone can deny the spiritual aspect of this life astounds me. Very powerful, that.

    • @imalright2837
      @imalright2837 3 года назад +6

      @@parisa5014 it used to perplexed me too but I now realize some people just don’t have the wiring to sense it. Likely never will after a certain point in life.

    • @parisa5014
      @parisa5014 3 года назад +4

      @@imalright2837 sometimes I'm convinced were surrounded by clones and drones LOL. I feel like there's like 10% of people on one wavelength and the rest are just.... Something else lol

    • @libra11426
      @libra11426 3 года назад +6

      She was saying goodbye before he got the call. 💛

    • @icecrystal3255
      @icecrystal3255 3 года назад +2

      @@libra11426 indeed

  • @joannekerr3
    @joannekerr3 3 года назад +68

    Billy you seem like a very kind hearted person. You deserve to be happy and healthy. You are worth so much more than you past, your mistakes and your trauma. You deserve to fight for yourself. Sending you my love and encouragement 💕

    • @tedijune6759
      @tedijune6759 11 месяцев назад +1

      Dear joannekerr3: I resonate with your written comment here, and ❤ your profile pic. I’m a 661/2 year old female… I sussed to your chan. Here… I AM straight as can be now…I used to grow #beavercreekboogieweed ❤❤❤

    • @joannekerr3
      @joannekerr3 11 месяцев назад

      @@tedijune6759 heya 👋 glad to meet you virtually 😁 Hope you have a blessed day

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      You would be a wonderful sponsor or counsellor

  • @sandibutler4877
    @sandibutler4877 3 года назад +62

    I would love a book with just the photos from this series. Videography is one thing but some of the still photos are amazingly heartwretchingly beautiful.

  • @meaganreese9502
    @meaganreese9502 3 года назад +110

    As he shared the history of his life, I couldn't help but shake my head. Not in disbelief, but in silent agreement. As the tears fell, I couldn't help but wonder if he had stolen my history, in order to share it with the world. Lord knows that I am not, yet, that brave. Not yet!

    • @stevejyd
      @stevejyd 3 года назад +10

      Romans 12:12

    • @laurie2968
      @laurie2968 3 года назад +12

      Sending you a big hug Meagan. Be gentle with yourself.

    • @elexis3728
      @elexis3728 3 года назад +11

      Yes, you are brave too. You might not be sharing your story the same way he is but look at what you just done with your comment! You allowed it to be said, period. That’s a big deal too.

    • @BabzV
      @BabzV 3 года назад +4

      💜

    • @Mark-gn5rw
      @Mark-gn5rw 3 года назад +2

      Agreed. Stay 👍

  • @ginalapiana5015
    @ginalapiana5015 3 года назад +49

    He never had a chance. Broken people having kids. It’s so heartbreaking 💔 I pray he finds his way and can have some peace ❤️

  • @professionalreviews3061
    @professionalreviews3061 3 года назад +45

    Those that are brutally honest with their past and situation have a better shot at making it. This guy laid it all on the line. The good the bad the ugly. I respect him for that.

    • @cansee0
      @cansee0 3 года назад +3

      Agree 100%

    • @aprilmahurin5646
      @aprilmahurin5646 3 года назад +2

      That's the moment we become a survivor and no longer a victim

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +1

      @@aprilmahurin5646 Well said.💖

  • @realdealguereca7944
    @realdealguereca7944 3 года назад +85

    Mark, you take the most amazing portraits.

  • @bintbybint8431
    @bintbybint8431 3 года назад +73

    My heart breaks for this poor soul.
    My little brother died and people in general thought ‘junkie’ no one thought to describe him as a wonderful person. A kind, academic, witty, wonderful, hardworking young man. A devoted son, brother and uncle. Just a junkie.
    This channel is so important, it shows that people are more than their addiction, their job etc. Everyone has a story.

    • @thebarefootfarm5919
      @thebarefootfarm5919 3 года назад +5

      Thank you for this comment. I have 12 years sober. A beautiful home, 4 healthy kids and an amazing husband, business, college degree, ect....and no one in my church or the PTA would ever think I was a "junkie". I am very open and outspoken. We are human.... Sister, daughters, aunts and friends. No one says I want to grow up and be a junkie ya know? I tell people never judge..I was raised well in a good family and it still found me....

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      Thanks for this. You are very kind. Compassionate. People can be so cruel if they haven't experienced this

  • @AnalogProductions
    @AnalogProductions 2 года назад +15

    Billy is my friend and I love him. This breaks my heart. If you see this Billy, we love you man.

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      I wish you could help him he seems like an awesome person

  • @seanryan7672
    @seanryan7672 2 года назад +3

    Billy- my brother. What you & I haven’t done… let’s not ever do 😬. Thank you Homie. Love always. You think the court system cares about what we went through? Lol. I’ve seen you while “in” so, yeah, that’s gonna be a hard No. No shame in the truth brother. We grow up, I guess… Now it’s just life. Sometimes I get jealous of the ones who passed on. That’s the sickness. So I need you & I love you & you always have family right here. I know this story & you’re still standing. You can always live in my closet (or my van!!). I mention I love you? See you soon brother.

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      Please if you have the means and love for this guy try to help him I don't even know him but know he's so awesome

  • @KarenAnne1965
    @KarenAnne1965 3 года назад +45

    Tragedy never ends. What is the answer? We’re not allowed to interfere in peoples parenting and the system seems to eat kids alive when they do end up in it. kids are sacrificed over and over again. I don’t think it will ever change. I loved his compassion for his mother and her own childhood trauma. it’s probably not a good way to start the day watching these videos because sometimes I get really sad. Today is one of those days.

    • @sunstruck
      @sunstruck 3 года назад +3

      all individuals must seek enlightenment no matter what background you come from

    • @nicholasmcgreevy8313
      @nicholasmcgreevy8313 3 года назад +1

      Our American culture does eat children alive.

    • @icemaiden6000
      @icemaiden6000 3 года назад

      👌👌💯♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

    • @stormy8427
      @stormy8427 3 года назад

      🤍

    • @meaganreese9502
      @meaganreese9502 3 года назад +2

      Actually, I think that watching these videos is an amazing way to start the day. With each subject Marc choses, you can't not be sympathetic at least and down right shaken to your core most times! I think each person should meet a new day, feeling for others!

  • @HonduranTendaroni
    @HonduranTendaroni 3 года назад +30

    hope he beats this addiction one day. So sad

  • @seriveitz765
    @seriveitz765 3 года назад +35

    “Love is the most powerful energy in the universe” 💜💪🏽

    • @vanollsum
      @vanollsum 3 года назад

      Hate too...its a 50/50 thing...you choose...🤍🖤

    • @carolynrupard2699
      @carolynrupard2699 3 года назад +1

      I love their quotes. I've started adding them to sticky notes . I place them in my office.

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад

      @@carolynrupard2699 💖

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +4

      @@vanollsum Love is stronger than hate. It's the key to freedom.

  • @verg4469_
    @verg4469_ 3 года назад +41

    Mark you should do a compilation video over all the most important lessons people have learned. its always interesting to hear different peoples answers. i know that kinda breaks the format but i think it would be cool

    • @melinaspath5482
      @melinaspath5482 3 года назад +2

      Wouldn't that be good only problem is most people sadly rather viewing the dark side so probably wouldn't get much viewing but I,d definitely watch it, great idea

    • @SoftWhiteUnderbelly
      @SoftWhiteUnderbelly  3 года назад +78

      What I’ve thought would be interesting is to do a compilation of interviewees responses to my question “Have you ever been in love?”. 90% reply with “What?”.

    • @melinaspath5482
      @melinaspath5482 3 года назад +6

      @@SoftWhiteUnderbelly yes broken people who have been through many a trauma can't grasp the concept, first question that comes to mind, what is love for them

    • @amylchapman
      @amylchapman 3 года назад +2

      @@SoftWhiteUnderbelly that’s because you say it too fast and kinda mumble it, every time. I’m a psychologist so I have my thoughts on why you do that….

    • @jennifercochrane8218
      @jennifercochrane8218 3 года назад +4

      @@amylchapman I'd have to disagree. There's lots of times where he's asked clearly..

  • @MummaQuan
    @MummaQuan 3 года назад +20

    It kills me to see people living this lifestyle. I know how hard it is and how horrible it is just to wake up every day. The only thing on your mind is how am I guna get something today? And it’s never enough. I hope he finds his way out of this, nobody deserves to live this way.

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      Hope he gets proper medical help for his ailments

  • @thebarefootfarm5919
    @thebarefootfarm5919 3 года назад +10

    WOW!!! Small world Billy. I'm from West Palm Beach, born and raised. A bunch of my family lives in Okeechobee. Your incredibly honest & humble and not boastful whatsoever. There is just something about you that has me really rooting for you. I've been sober from heroin for 12 years now....and I went to Gold Coast academy, because I couldn't handle John I Leonard anymore. I also lost my dad a couple years ago, who also struggled with alcohol and addiction most his life. By the grace of God I didn't relapse. I can feel your pain when you speak of your mom and do believe she is now at peace. I pray you can kick this habit brother. I'd be dead if I still used with this fentanyl around. I pray for your safety, healing and recovery. Im proof it can be done.

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      Wish u guys could talk to each other

  • @torstrasburg8289
    @torstrasburg8289 2 года назад +6

    Such a thoughtful, honest, humble person. And well-spoken. I'm rooting for him all the way.

  • @leneo1731
    @leneo1731 2 года назад +4

    Billy, I have so much respect for your honesty.
    You have nothing to be ashamed of.
    Intelligent people understand that we never can understand addiction.
    We're in no potition to say that I'd never do this or that. No one knows until they've been so sick that they've wiling to do everything to get well.
    Thank you for being open about these things, it's so important for people to know the horrible reality of addiction.
    Also, I'm so sorry that you were born out of two addicts. That really makes it difficult to lead a normal life.
    And I'm sorry for the loss of your mother.
    But I wish you wouldn't feel guilt because she killed herself.
    If she was sat on that, it wouldn't have mattered if you moved in with her.
    You couldn't have lived with her forever.
    But I get your thoughts and your pain.
    I wish you the best.
    I hope you'll get away from California.
    Try Methadone or Suboxone.
    It's saved so many people who never thought they'd ever get clean.
    People have great lives on Suboxone!
    Try and if you don't like it, just go back to Fentanyl. At least you can say you tried it.
    Good luck with everything, life ain't over.
    It actually can be now your real life begins.

  • @emmaleia13
    @emmaleia13 3 года назад +60

    Billy is honest and clear about the life he leads. I think his mother did everything she could for her children but the drugs took over. He was born an addict and his childhood from home to home must have been very difficult to build. He says the main thing that almost all of these people on Skid Row lack is parental love. To love and feel loved. I wish Billy the best in life.

    • @hgraham1836
      @hgraham1836 3 года назад +1

      I agree

    • @gailstanhope6262
      @gailstanhope6262 3 года назад

      .n

    • @duknfedz2359
      @duknfedz2359 3 года назад +1

      You can always tell the people who have never had a drug addict family member.. these people will lie so much they start to believe it.. 90% of what he’s saying is a complete lie he’s told so many times he actually believes it.. I hope nobody in your family becomes an addict because you are easy prey..

    • @brekinruels9692
      @brekinruels9692 3 года назад

      @@hgraham1836 is

    • @hgraham1836
      @hgraham1836 3 года назад

      @@brekinruels9692 👌

  • @turboshazed7370
    @turboshazed7370 3 года назад +15

    Fentanyl holy fuck... I wish you the best on getting to where you wanna be buddy! Hoping you find brighter days.

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      Yes me too he needs to get off of Fentanyl

  • @5p674
    @5p674 3 года назад +16

    Come on, Billy, you can make it. You're a sincere insightful guy and I hope you get out of this hell life.

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      Yes hope he gets out soon

  • @justliss1640
    @justliss1640 3 года назад +15

    I relate to Billy so much in regards to his mom ,thinking of you always 💚

  • @rubypaige4685
    @rubypaige4685 3 года назад +24

    Good storyteller, He was honest and direct. I would like to see an update with him and his girlfriend in the future.

  • @bunnyolson9484
    @bunnyolson9484 3 года назад +9

    One of the very best interviews I have ever seen. I follow your channel 98% of the time ,and enjoy old interviews. I worked as a waitress since the age of 12,then bartender at a strip club,then back to bartender.....everyone has a story
    Luv your work. 100percent. From the frozen praire of South Dakota 😀

  • @graemescott1436
    @graemescott1436 3 года назад +14

    Another good storyteller! Much love man ❤️

  • @samanthapurdy2053
    @samanthapurdy2053 3 года назад +35

    I haven't even watched it yet but just from the first few seconds I have so much to say. My brother's name is Billy and we grew up in south Florida and we're born to addict/alcoholic parents. This man has definitely went through more than we have but it always amazes me how many people have similar experiences and we all turn out different. My brother and I have never touched drugs. I want better for my kids.

    • @jillmartin232
      @jillmartin232 3 года назад +3

      Dysfunction manifests itself differently from person to person. Sorry to hear about your childhood.

    • @melissajones6
      @melissajones6 3 года назад +3

      Remember that addiction doesn’t have to just be about drugs. Not saying this is you but Many people think they are “safe” from addiction, or “better than” someone else because they don’t use drugs. But they’re quick to forget or won’t mention their soda addiction, or they smoke cigarettes, or drink alcohol, or shop obsessively, or gamble and/or buy scratch offs all the time. Or binge eat shit food without a second thought. Fact is, Addiction is genetic and we may think we’re safe but often we’ve just overlooked what we’re addicted too because of a false idea that it’s not an addiction because it’s “not drugs.”

    • @tarajtee
      @tarajtee 2 года назад

      take it as a sign… and keep it up love

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      Wish he had people to connect with to let him know he matters

  • @skalien51
    @skalien51 3 года назад +6

    Like many here, I feel for this man. He’s not in denial & speaks from the heart. I pray he & his girlfriend find success away from the addiction. Thank you for sharing his story.

  • @amandabeltran7241
    @amandabeltran7241 3 года назад +33

    My heart breaks for him...I found my mom passed away it's still really hard so I feel your pain .. sending love to you all from BUFFALO NY 💋💪

    • @koffinkat666
      @koffinkat666 3 года назад +5

      I'm so sorry that happened to you. My last name is Beltran as well! I used to be addicted to heroin but got off it and saved my self. It was terrible and hard.

    • @LuchadorMasque
      @LuchadorMasque 3 года назад +3

      Finding dead bodies. That feeling. It never goes away. PTSD is the gift that keeps on giving . . . You nightmares.

    • @boboddo36
      @boboddo36 3 года назад +2

      My mom passed suddenly and I found her. Just the worst thing. I’m also from Buffalo NY.

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +2

      I can't imagine going through that. One of my sisters was in junior high when our dad died. She was with him. She called the dr who couldn't come because he was going to lunch. There was no 911 then. Another sister found my step dad in a wooded area where he'd committed suicide. The whole family had searched 3 days for him. Even hired a plane for the search. I don't know how my sisters have maintained. 💔

    • @LuchadorMasque
      @LuchadorMasque 3 года назад +1

      @@marylougeorge9890 jesus

  • @blueeyes6852
    @blueeyes6852 3 года назад +18

    This is so sad! I wish the best for these people.
    This medication is an important one. When someone has had a bad enough accident to require surgery, then the doctors tell you, they can't help anymore. Being in a constant level of pain, you get to the point you don't see reasons to stay alive. You can't do anything but lie down and roll around in pain, adjusting pillows, not sleeping, having no personal life, you can end up losing your identity. You get assigned to a pain clinic and are prescribed this medication.
    You don't get high, you get your life back!
    Pain being managed is probably one of the least talked about joys in life!
    When people use this drug to party, to get high ... what it ends up doing is making the medication become taboo! It's NOT the medication, it's the people taking it, that aren't prescribed it! Please don't vilify the medication, please get those that have an addiction into rehab!
    How many of you could tolerate watching a loved one screaming in pain? Everyday, all day!
    Could you handle it?
    What if you were in abject pain and no matter what you do, everytime you move (and all the time if you don't move), you can't escape pain.
    Please don't let the government take away needed medication. It can become just as deadly, with people committing suicide as those that overdose.

    • @crazycatladyjo2688
      @crazycatladyjo2688 3 года назад +8

      I have lived with severe chronic pain for 6 years. I am a chronic pain patient. You don't get your life back, you get the bare minimun. I work 2 days a week but I'm otherwise pretty much bed bound due to pain. You are right about not getting high off my pain medication. I have never felt high from taking pain medication. I'm lucky to get some pain relief from it. I have thought about dying many times. You get to the point were your whole life revolves around the physical pain.

    • @nunyabizwacks6711
      @nunyabizwacks6711 3 года назад +4

      yup, and it just masks the pain, and actually makes it even worse if you stop the medication. There has to be better long term solutions. Prescribed or not, the shit does the same thing. Plus, its not like it even makes the pain go away, helps it a little

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +2

      @@crazycatladyjo2688 My daughter is 38. She's suffered with fibromyalgia since age 11, when they didn't acknowledge it was a physical issue. She was on oxy's but all it did was take the edge off. Her life is like yours.
      Pot helps the most. Even though it's legal here, the drs won't even prescribe her a few pain pills a month because she uses weed.

  • @sandife4nandes365
    @sandife4nandes365 3 года назад +11

    I'm from that area. It is beautiful during the day. At night, Dixie is full of street workers. Most are literally barefoot. The rehab capital of the US. The pill mills were shut down in 2004. A lot of collateral damage.

    • @gregoryreeves8586
      @gregoryreeves8586 3 года назад +2

      I Grew up in Jupiter, Florida (Palm Beach County) when blues were bad down there..

  • @OutOfTheAether
    @OutOfTheAether 3 года назад +13

    It’s sad that he says he’s not suicidal and yet he sitting here saying he’s doing fentanyl all the time and just thinking if it kills me it kills me whatever… That’s slow suicide

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +4

      I believe anyone doing anything harmful to their health is somewhat suicidal. I don't smoke cigarettes but I vape and will not quit. I eat Lots of sugar. So a part of me is saying I don't care. How much of the population is like this?

    • @user-randi1987
      @user-randi1987 3 года назад +5

      Addiction is suicide on the installment plan

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +1

      @@user-randi1987 Truth! Great way of putting it.

    • @thatlaserlady3899
      @thatlaserlady3899 3 года назад +5

      You are right. I was accepted into a detox facility bc they asked me if I wanted to harm myself and I told them, every day I try to kill myself by shooting up fentanyl. They accepted me, over 2 years sober now. 💁‍♀️😁

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +2

      @@thatlaserlady3899 That's Wonderful!!! Congratulations!!!😊👏👏👏💖

  • @averyd7383
    @averyd7383 3 года назад +14

    There are a lot of very sad stories on this channel, but this is the first time I seriously cried, and I’m at work damn it!🥺

    • @evelyntokamp1011
      @evelyntokamp1011 3 года назад

      @Nose Beer - as long as you don't let the boss see it ;)

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      You cry if you need to❤

  • @sandife4nandes365
    @sandife4nandes365 3 года назад +15

    Billy has a great deal of insight. I am an incredibly strong person, but, I don't even know if I could have made it with parents using drugs. I have a serious neede phobia. Watching this makes me wonder if I could have made it out. I would hope so. Always have hope.

    • @BobbySacamano
      @BobbySacamano 3 года назад +1

      Glad you did, man

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +1

      I understand. If I had difficulty dealing with my bit of situations, what would I have done dealing with his circumstances?

  • @Angelaleeish
    @Angelaleeish 3 года назад +9

    Wishing you success. Sending love and support 💙

  • @johncoco2324
    @johncoco2324 2 года назад +6

    I have known Billy for years now, honestly a genuine person, funny as hell and always has your back. I have seen him successful 1st hand and know he can do it again. Billy, love ya man, you can get your life back. I did and you can also. We seen a lot of our friends die in SoFlo, don't want anything to happen to you or your girl out there.
    Video was powerful, stay positive and i will ttys.

    • @micheleturley8870
      @micheleturley8870 2 года назад +1

      Come on billy you can do it! I'm praying for you
      God bless you. Keep going!

    • @DickHead-u8x
      @DickHead-u8x Год назад

      Thank you

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      Please reach out to him if you can

    • @johncoco2324
      @johncoco2324 3 месяца назад

      @@tambourine36 its impossible. He reaches out and disappears just as fast. Love this guy, known him for years, just praying he is ok. Hit me up if you see this Billy.

  • @WhiteRhino.
    @WhiteRhino. 3 года назад +19

    I saw him and thought right away..."he's a S.FL homie"

    • @ChrisMinaj2012
      @ChrisMinaj2012 3 года назад +1

      yess.. I lived there for a long time myself.

    • @ccway7
      @ccway7 3 года назад +2

      YES!! Recognized all places he spoke of...gold coast, okeechobee... everything

  • @Em22-wtf
    @Em22-wtf 3 года назад +7

    I will NEVER understand how people can put this sht ahead of their kids. And the whole "drugs are that powerful" excuse is JUST THAT, an excuse people tell themselves to take the easy way out and ignore or give up their kids and keep living dirty. I'm sorry, that just doesn't fly W me at all.
    You either want to clean and be there for your kid, the kid that didn't ASK to be here, or you DON'T. But don't make excuses. Like the saying goes.... Get busy living or get busy dying. But stop making excuses when you'd rather use than be parent.
    Once you become a parent your life is not your own anymore, you're now ruining another person's life and it isn't fair. This guy became everything his own mother was and what he blames his own addiction on.... So he possibly turned his daughter into himself. Sad. It's not fair to her.
    And you actually CAN stay clean in a tattoo shop, especially when you own it. If you want to stay clean you'll put in the same exact effort to stay clean as you do to stay dirty. Don't allow the bs to go on.
    As long he keeps making excuses and blames other people, he will keep living as he is. But he won't listen until he's tired of living like that. And I speak from experience, it's been 15yrs, once I become a parent, there was no choice to relapse even if I wanted to.

  • @buchi777_
    @buchi777_ 3 года назад +8

    Do get some medical help first Billy. Go and see a doktor its for your own good. I think if given an opportunity he can really be successful. Thank you Mark for giving a platform for those who are in need and never heard. You can do it Billy get clean and be a living example that their is hope.

  • @AshleyExtremeCouponer
    @AshleyExtremeCouponer 3 года назад +33

    He’s so intelligent and even toned. He’s so easy to listen to. Sure things could have been different for him

    • @JonatanRonnlycke
      @JonatanRonnlycke 3 года назад +2

      Can't listen or focus because he says "you know" in every sentence.

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +1

      @@JonatanRonnlycke That's ok. His story is heartbreaking. It's difficult not crying while listening.💔

    • @billythekid6898
      @billythekid6898 3 года назад +1

      @@JonatanRonnlycke "ya know" lol

    • @billythekid6898
      @billythekid6898 3 года назад +2

      @@marylougeorge9890 thank you Mary Lou george for watching and listening to my story. Sorry about the "you knows"

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад

      @@billythekid6898 "you knows" never bothered me. I was trying to wake him up to what's important.
      Thank you for your response. I Sure do wish you well.
      Love from Michigan 💖

  • @annaelisavettavonnedozza9607
    @annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 2 года назад +2

    You won’t get clean if you stay with your gf. You have to put yourself first. It isn’t selfishness it is self preservation. You have no chance if you stay with that girl.

  • @DetroitFettyghost
    @DetroitFettyghost 3 года назад +5

    Bro I'm 39, I'm 20+ years into using a needle to feed my dope habit, and it's getting VERY hard to find anywhere to shoot. I get real creative. Finding veins on the palms of my hands, feet n sides of feet, chest, my manhood (it bruises so bad when I hit there), you name it like u said I've hit there. Every once in awhile I'll find some magic little stretch of vein a 1/2" long that's not completely scarred and impossible to get to and I'll get 3 or 4 shots in it and then it's toast. I shoot real close to a 1/2 gram if fentanyl at a time. Takes about 7-8 units of water to liquify it enough it don't turn to sludge when blood hits it so I've got very little room for error for getting blood in their to register (only 10 units in a 1cc needle). It's all disgusting.
    Anyways thanks for your honesty holmes you the real deal, it's rare. I hope you found some healing in having done this.

    • @Creativ-Focus
      @Creativ-Focus 3 года назад

      I pray you seek help for your addiction.

    • @Mim795
      @Mim795 3 года назад

      You have recognised Billy’s realness, which means you are the same as Billy, a real person and by reaching out to him, shows that you have a good heart on you that shows empathy for others. Man, I wish you well and hope you find something in life that gets you away from that dreaded needle, you deserve happiness 🙏🏻🤍

    • @angeladee1463
      @angeladee1463 2 года назад

      Where there is life there is hope. I’m almost 9 years clean from the needle, and I know your pain all too well. I pray you find freedom from addiction and yourself. May God bless you and keep you, until then. 🙏🏼❤️

  • @billyjohnson9166
    @billyjohnson9166 3 года назад +9

    Getting almost killed won’t make you go clean nothing will. Mark these sad stories never end.

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      Everybody has their own bottom. For some it's death unfortunately. I hope he finds a way out he is a good person

  • @centeguahan3760
    @centeguahan3760 3 года назад +4

    Thank you for this interview. His life lesson is a real one. When I suddenly lost my kid's mother about a year ago, I literally called everyone I loved deeply & told them how I felt. My family & closet friends. I laid it all out because I'm not one to say what's on my mind till I'm standing over their grave when it's already too late. Her passing was the hardest thing ever I have to cope with & tbh, I had a dream of us lastnight, I woke up bawling my eyes out & wrote it all down.
    Tell your loved ones you love them because really, time is unpredictable. Thank you again

  • @Xtelahhh
    @Xtelahhh 3 года назад +9

    Thank you Mark for these interviews they are very eye opening and educational, it’s easy to look at a guy like him and Judge without knowing what hes truly been through. God bless him! 🙏🏻

  • @waitwhat564
    @waitwhat564 3 года назад +4

    From generation to generation. What chance does a child have living in such an abnormal world that they see as
    normal. Addiction suppressing the pain of no love growing up, recognising that that’s all we needed and need.
    Respect for you Billy saying that your mother did the best she could with what she had. I came to that
    Conclusion too after much anger. My father too. I do hope both you and you loved one get off the streets
    and both into rehab and live the life you so much deserve. Love from Australia ♥️♥️🙏🏼🙏🏼

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      Beautiful comments. So encouraging. I think it's important to understand where our parents trauma came from in order to have compassion

  • @catapillargirl2021
    @catapillargirl2021 3 года назад +6

    “How was YOUR childhood?” He spent most of his answer defending his Mom for how he was raised. I wish he would advocate for himself just as hard. He deserves a great life. I hope things turn around for him. A 20+ year addiction i feel like time isn’t on his side.

  • @ozmonto
    @ozmonto 3 года назад +8

    So much love to this beautiful human. Such a heartbreaking journey his life has been. His insight is rare, yet admirable. I hope he finds happiness very soon x

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      Yes he's a gem and needs to get a better life than this❤

  • @emptyhanded79
    @emptyhanded79 3 года назад +4

    I am impressed by Billy’s candor, insight, and genuineness. His brain is still in tact. His motivation, compassion, and overall soul are still present. I believe if he and his girlfriend make a decision to say “It’s not too late for us”, then they can get clean. Or even just get into a methadone clinic, and return to society, employment, etc… I have faith that he can be happy and healthy again. I am very hopeful for this person. ♥️

  • @bashmeesh
    @bashmeesh 3 года назад +5

    Thank you Billy, I see a shining light coming from your soul. Thanks for sharing. 🤍

  • @kAdams277
    @kAdams277 3 года назад +5

    He just uses honesty. I'm really impressed with him and also I feel sadness for him too. It just seems like hes experienced so much in this one life.

  • @NECOLEsadiah
    @NECOLEsadiah 3 года назад +2

    People DON'T UNDERSTAND that this is TRUTH & HONESTY.. ONES who COMPLAIN in the COMMENTS are Low key going thr the same SHiiiiiiiiii(no disrespect)and mad at the WORLD. I get it but what mark is doing for some of us is like going to CLINICAL when in school..THIS IS WHAT UR NOT TAUGHT in the CLASSROOM to PREPARE U FOR THE REALLLL REAL⭐💗⭐

  • @equalopportunitydestroyer
    @equalopportunitydestroyer 2 года назад +2

    childhood traumas...I've been thru them all too bro...grew up in Florida w addict parents and I landed in prison...and got out and did well for awhile...then slipped back into the pills and now I'm on suboxone...I work hard and take care of my family...but that self destructive streak is ever present...it makes no sense to be so happy and in turn make that choice to rip it all apart w my selfish ways...big love and respect outta Orlando Billy...and Mark...you're doing a good thing by letting these folks vent...we need it man...

    • @tambourine36
      @tambourine36 3 месяца назад

      Nice comments. Wish there was a support group for everyone who cares and wants to support others

  • @jaytecee3489
    @jaytecee3489 3 года назад +8

    I wish we could listen to these on a podcast

  • @shawnadenney8098
    @shawnadenney8098 3 года назад +2

    Poor guy just seems broken. If you read this Billy, I shot meth from 16 to 43 years old. I am a severe alcoholic and I am coming up on 4 years sober in December. Right now I am at work and I work in the same rehab I graduated from. My story saves lives just like your story can too. When you really want to be sober it can happen. WE DO RECOVER!

  • @DMRJ53
    @DMRJ53 3 года назад +6

    Billy, hang in there..... such a rough road. Not fair some are born into that being the norm... :(

  • @raymondgallegos488
    @raymondgallegos488 3 года назад +2

    Keep fighting billy suboxone is way more efficient than opiates and methadone It literally saved my life give me back my family good luck to you and your girlfriend keep up the fight bro remember what you said you don’t know what tomorrow brings the main thing is loving the people that love you

  • @danielmeuler2877
    @danielmeuler2877 3 года назад +8

    I used to wake up and do a line of fentanyl Dope and then off to work where I did it all day to function and then until I fell asleep. It was 200$ to 300$ a day habit and I worked like a Winged Monkey for my Slave Owner Drug. November 1 will be my Year Anniversary of the last time I used. I watch Mark's channel to remind me what I was and worked My Ass off to not be anymore. I pray for these people that they find Peace and Calm in their life.

    • @RealD8
      @RealD8 3 года назад

      How were the withdrawals?

    • @danielmeuler2877
      @danielmeuler2877 3 года назад +1

      @@RealD8 They were pretty bad. Depending on the dope, sometimes it would start 4 or 6 hrs from last use. that was rare but when I finally went threw Detox last Nov it was petty bad plus I was locked down in not the nicest facility that opened your door and shined a light on you every 20mn. I got 4hrs of sleep in 5 days and was Hallucinating by day 3 pretty bad. I couldn't take suboxone until the 3rd day because The kind of Fentanyl I was doing stayed in ones system so long. that's the condensed version. I plan on doing a youtube video on that and a few other things to pertain to my use and recovery and put it out on my 1yr anniversary.

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад

      Well done!😊👏👏👏💖

    • @maureent8653
      @maureent8653 3 года назад

      Good for you!!! One day at a time…

  • @barnabykent6698
    @barnabykent6698 2 года назад +3

    We're rooting for you Billy, we really are! To have been through all of that and still be here fighting another day, you've gotta have enormous strength.

  • @Bricklinsv1970
    @Bricklinsv1970 3 года назад +8

    He knows his life and where he comes from better than most peolpe that been clean there whole lives.

    • @bens9517
      @bens9517 3 года назад +2

      Thats a lot of self reflection and trauma.

    • @BobbySacamano
      @BobbySacamano 3 года назад +1

      It's an odd thing. When you're high again, you connect with all those times you've been high. So, in a way, he can recall a lot since he was born.

  • @emilypriestley7662
    @emilypriestley7662 3 года назад +3

    Billy seemed like a genuinely good person. He also came across as so intelligent. He was honest and it was clear how he ended up here when he is, born addicted. Billy I hope you continue to think of the positives and find small moments of joy in everyday because everyday is a gift. I loved your message at the end to tell all your people that you love them, I lost my brother to overdose in July and I know now how close to keep your loved ones. Keep telling them you love them. Billy you matter, try to enjoy the days you have as best you can.

  • @N-of-One
    @N-of-One 2 года назад +3

    I was so captivated by his story! Thank you Mark for giving everyone you interview the time and space to share their lives. They're not that different than all of us. It makes me realize how vulnerable life is but also how strong and resilient.

  • @codystepanian9558
    @codystepanian9558 3 года назад +6

    He reminds me of a tattooed Emilio Esteves

    • @wesleyalan9179
      @wesleyalan9179 3 года назад +2

      I was wondering who he looked like to me. I *could* *not* figure it out for the life of me until I read your comment
      🎯📌🔨

    • @simplyme9016
      @simplyme9016 3 года назад +1

      I totally see that!

  • @TheSweetsherrypie
    @TheSweetsherrypie 3 года назад +4

    Billy, you are intelligent and well spoken.

  • @perrypelican9476
    @perrypelican9476 3 года назад +4

    Are there that many sexual abusive parents? They have kids to have regular sex? How can our society create that and allow it. I say allow it because it is rampant. This is a decent person who never got a break.

    • @b1k2q34
      @b1k2q34 3 года назад

      I wouldn't say it is rampant. That might be a bit of a reach.

  • @marinamarazzo5889
    @marinamarazzo5889 3 года назад +2

    this is exactly my ex boyfriend. born addicted, heroin addict parents, mom died of suicide, tattoo shops, full body, white tank and jeans, vans, big watch, bandana in the back pocket, sad raspy voice, eyes to the ground, honest, solemn, thoughtful, soft natured, now homeless only in santa cruz not LA. dead last, love lost, joey. i will catch you on the flip side, my friend.

  • @monicdavis6150
    @monicdavis6150 3 года назад +4

    I sincerely wish he could find a way to stop the drugs and enjoy a peaceful existence.

  • @leneo1731
    @leneo1731 2 года назад +1

    They have to place these rehabs somewhere else, don't they?
    So many people went to rehab in California and ended up on Skid Row.
    I wonder if there's many rehabs in Las Vegas.
    Rehabs for sex, drugs and gambling.
    They'll never be out of business, that's for sure!

  • @judysteadman799
    @judysteadman799 Год назад +1

    Keep striving Billy, Please get off this life destroying murdering Filthy Fentenyl. Born addicted left you so vulnerable, ongoing horrid situation. Thank you for sharing your story. 🙏 🙏 🙏 praying Billy, you turn this around. Thank you Mark for introducing us to Billy

  • @coco-dr3ii
    @coco-dr3ii 3 года назад +19

    It’s bittersweet when Marks asks his interviewees if they had any dreams as a child.. like who would’ve ever guessed that such innocent little children would end up living such depressing lifestyles. No one deserves to live like this. Wishing the best for everyone struggling in this lifestyle. May God shower them with His peace, mercy, and light out of the darkness they’re in.

    • @heather1845
      @heather1845 3 года назад +5

      I think that too.. there was a sweet boy .... Like my 8 year old.that just wanted to play. Be happy. Pray 🙏 for him

    • @marylougeorge9890
      @marylougeorge9890 3 года назад +3

      Amen.
      So often I look at their eyes and imagine them as children looking up at adults for acknowledgement and help. It's heartbreaking to imagine.

  • @jackierosado1777
    @jackierosado1777 3 года назад +5

    Billy, you touched my heart 🙏 God Bless you 🙏

  • @dface6447
    @dface6447 Год назад +1

    another great view with this video Mark,Billy i wish you and your other half all the best going forward and i hope you catch a break somewhere soon,so you can both get off the streets and have a safe place to stay!,i know it’s not a lot but i’m sure you’d be happy if the opportunity presented itself 🙂.

  • @thebutcher1865
    @thebutcher1865 3 года назад +2

    I've been in your shoes homie, remember Jesus still loves you. Never give up never give in. Much love brother. I'm the same age you are, only the strong survive this long.

  • @treaty8631
    @treaty8631 2 года назад +1

    Billy you are a smart man...give yourself courage to move forward..your a good man...you have potential.

  • @suezannemarie292
    @suezannemarie292 3 года назад +4

    He looks so young. Sending much love and peace your way ❤. I'm so sorry 😞

  • @lilaworley8935
    @lilaworley8935 3 года назад +13

    "FAMILY DYSFUNCTION ROLLS DOWN FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION, LIKE A FIRE IN THE WOODS, TAKING DOWN EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH UNTIL ONE PERSON IN ONE GENERATION HAS THE COURAGE TO TURN AND FACE THE FLAMES. THAT PERSON BRINGS PEACE TO THEIR ANCESTORS AND SPARES THE CHILDREN THAT FOLLOW."- T REAL
    Breaking the chains of family systems dysfunction.... 🔥

  • @octopurr6211
    @octopurr6211 3 года назад +4

    You can stay clean in a tattoo shop! I Have three friends with years clean that have their own shops. It can be done. I have hope for you 🙏🏼

  • @rondaduse-anthony6755
    @rondaduse-anthony6755 3 года назад +3

    Billy is super duper relatable for me. Much of his past aligns with mine, with some big contrasts as well. Thanks for this interview, Mark. You do great work! Much love to the both of you 🤗

  • @neutronstar5544
    @neutronstar5544 3 года назад +2

    Alcoholics and drug addicts should be banned from having kids
    And I am saying this as an addict

  • @lindapowell2397
    @lindapowell2397 3 года назад +7

    I feel for this man & his parents.
    This isn't always the family history of a herion/Fentenyl addict. Addiction is no respector of person. This happens with people from good loving families. No matter the family dynamics...Addiction is horrible for the addict & the family, friends who love & care for them. It's a frightening hell. May God save & deliver all who suffer as an addict & those who would give anything to save their loved one. 🙏💔

  • @katrinawehipeihana3935
    @katrinawehipeihana3935 2 года назад +1

    Billy you have great potential please don't give up all the best.

  • @silverhorder1969
    @silverhorder1969 3 года назад +2

    Some people don’t stand a chance. Especially when the starting gate of life throws you a curve ball like Billy apparently had. I hope He makes it. Lord help him..

  • @tylerlienau7548
    @tylerlienau7548 Год назад +1

    I wish nothing but the best for this guy! I hope he stops using and finds happiness.

  • @nathandean8897
    @nathandean8897 3 года назад +2

    Mark you should give these guys a job helping you out doing your videos it would give them some sort of purpose and a reason to get out of bed of a morning I could help you fund it also these story’s are heartbreaking

  • @trapperjohn6089
    @trapperjohn6089 3 года назад +3

    His left arm hurts him. Look at it. It’s infected.

  • @FlowerPlower
    @FlowerPlower 2 года назад +1

    I hate hearing about sexual abuse man. I almost got a murder charge because a local bum tried taking my sister in law’s daughter who was four. He hung out at the playground and I went to the car to get her drink and I don’t see either of them. I sprint around the building and he’s dragging her to the back of the school behind it. I yell he drops her and starts pleading and saying it’s nothing it’s nothing and then he started running when he seen I couldn’t hear him. I remember hitting him 10 times tops. A neighborhood lady seen it and she told me I lost count at 35 punches. The cops took me into the hospital and were torn that they had to arrest me for aggravated assault maybe manslaughter. My fists were both broke. Boxer fractures in both. The judge called it self defense because a witness said the man attacked me and he did have a blade on him. I love small towns and cooking at my towns bar. Popular eating and drinking spot. I’m really good at my job and meet slot of people. Not knowing they are cops and judges and DAs. The judge told me that he hopes the dude dies. I’m a hippie type. So passive. I have a small possession personal use of cannabis and two speeding tickets. At 33 that’s awesome and that’s why I got treated good. Everyone involved in my case knew of me at least and when they heard I was facing such brutal charges they investigated and got the story. I hate fighting. It solves nothing. But some people deserve to have there jaw wired shut at the least. Breaks me even when my niece brings it up. Even no abuse actually happened. She was so scared. She isn’t so friendly with people now. She has nightmares. Her mom got me a lawyer but he did some calling around and said I can represent you but I don’t feel I’m needed. You’ll be ok buddy. This is the worst and biggest experience in my life. Jail is so surreal. I was kept alone for the most part. Got a lot of food and drinks brought to me. Just cooking for five years at a bar has got me a good alibi and character references. He survived and has moved away with his 90 year old mom.

    • @Zain_Passing_By
      @Zain_Passing_By Год назад

      İm sorry to read about what happened to you and a kid. İ hope you both will get better. But you both were lucky in that day. it could be much worse
      İt's just unbelievable how many crazy and evil monsters are out there. May God protect you both and help to the girl with healing mentally

  • @JoeyBKaos
    @JoeyBKaos 3 года назад +2

    Thats my brother from another mother, I got maaaad love for you bro

  • @Leogx13
    @Leogx13 3 года назад +5

    Hopefully Billy gets his shit together

  • @michaeljacobs4546
    @michaeljacobs4546 3 года назад +1

    My mom was a good mother while it lasted (albeit a funbctional alcoholic) but left me and mny dad for another aguy when I was 13 and I never forgave her. When the hospital called me at 24 to tell me that she was dead we were not on speaking relations, I didn't even go to her funeral. I feel guilty but I had the strength to not let my issues get the best of me - or perhaps I am just fooling myself?